Holiday Survival Guide II: Perfect Gifts and Fighting Fatigue (with Rainn Wilson)

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Episode Title: Holiday Survival Guide II: Perfect Gifts and Fighting Fatigue (with Rainn Wilson)
Air Date: December 15, 2025
Host: Dr. Laurie Santos
Guest: Rainn Wilson (actor, author, and host of Soul Boom)

Episode Overview

This special holiday episode of The Happiness Lab features a candid and insightful conversation between Dr. Laurie Santos and Rainn Wilson. Together, they tackle listeners’ biggest holiday challenges—navigating the stress of gift-giving and financial pressures, protecting against fatigue and workaholism, and infusing the season with meaning and joy. Drawing on psychology, humor, and Rainn’s unique perspective on spirituality (and The Office), the episode is filled with practical tips, personal stories, and moments of levity to help listeners survive—and even thrive—during the holidays.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Holiday Stress: Joy or Dread?

[03:53–06:13]

Laurie opens up: Holidays can be stressful for many, despite the expectation to be “the most wonderful time of the year.” She admits her stress response to winter festivities, preferring Halloween for its fun and low pressure.
Rainn offers balance: While a member of the Bahá'í Faith with a variety of rituals, his favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because of its focus on gratitude and simple connection, but he acknowledges holidays can be fraught for many.

Memorable Quotes:

"You say the holidays are coming and I feel my cortisol levels going up a little bit, my stress hormones. I'm not a winter holiday fan." — Dr. Laurie Santos [05:44]

2. The Pressure of Gift-Giving & Consumerism

[06:13–11:23]

Listener query: Rachel asks how to deal with the stress and consumerism of holiday gift-giving: “How much to spend? Is it a good gift? Will they like it? Who do I have to buy for?”
Rainn references The Office’s Princess Unicorn episode: He jokingly suggests everyone gifting the same toy as a funny solution.
**Both discuss the expectation of always bringing something—wine, chocolates—to gatherings, even if not welcome or needed.
Advice: Focus on gifts that foster connection—like a framed photo, shared experience, or deep conversation.
Laurie emphasizes presence over presents and suggests leaning into cheap, personalized gifts.

Memorable Quotes:

“One thing that drives me crazy, Laurie, is, like, the pressure to bring something over when you go to visit someone... Why do we do that? We don't have to do that.” — Rainn Wilson [07:20]
“Getting back to the reason behind the season, as cheesy as it sounds.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [08:19]

3. Financial Pressures of the Holidays

[09:47–12:03]

Inflation and travel: Rainn highlights how travel and gifts put financial stress on families—flying “has gotten way more expensive.” Families need to be more sensitive to differing budgets.
Laurie’s advice: Rethink rituals to match your values rather than default expectations; spending time together need not be expensive.

Memorable Quotes:

"If you have to cancel, I think that's fine to take care of your finances… We have to just be very sensitive to where people are financially." — Rainn Wilson [10:10]

4. Regifting & Coping With Gift Fails

[12:03–14:21]

Funny listener story: A listener accidentally regifts the exact present she received the prior year (a foot massager) to the original giver.
Rainn champions regifting: “I'm a big fan... I might give it back to the exact same person—that's how I roll.”
Laurie suggests: Self-compassion—everyone gives a bad gift sometimes; it’s OK.

Memorable Quotes:

“Maybe write down on a little Post-it note who gave you the coffee, so you don't give it back to the same person.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [13:30]
“It's the thought that counts.” — Rainn Wilson [14:19]

5. Fatigue, Perfectionism & Workaholism During the Holidays

[14:21–25:39]

Listener anxieties: Overwhelm from “so much to do,” work stress, and perfectionism.
Oxygen mask analogy: Rainn draws on the airline safety reminder—take care of yourself first to better serve others.
Laurie urges:
- Notice feelings of overwhelm as important signals (like a “tire warning light”).
- Take things OFF your plate (not just add more).
- Self-compassion: You don’t have to fix deep-seated issues in one holiday.
Workaholism: Rainn explains it often has roots in seeking love via achievement (“cookie under the mattress” analogy).
Practical strategy: Remove work email from your phone during holidays, or use the “phone on a shelf” method to break compulsive checking.
Boundary setting: Suggests families make phone baskets for gatherings as a mental wellness hack.

Memorable Quotes:

“If you're really that busy that you can't be merry, you're doing Christmas wrong.” — Rainn Wilson [15:40]
“Putting your phone on a shelf, not in your pocket... reduces your interactions with it tenfold.” — Rainn Wilson [21:19]
“Noticing those moments of frustration... gives you a nice checklist for things you can pay attention to in the new year.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [23:36]

6. Spirituality & Finding Deeper Meaning

[28:13–34:47]

Dr. Laurie asks: How can we create more meaning and joy in the season, especially with so many feeling a “crisis of spiritual meaning”?
Rainn clarifies: Spirituality need not be religious; it’s about recognizing our non-material essence—soul, spirit, consciousness.
Bringing meaning: Emphasizes compassion, humility, service, and love—“these tools give our lives meaning and joy.”
Strategy: Develop family/friends rituals—sharing gratitude, commemorating loved ones, tiny acts of connection.

Memorable Quotes:

“What is spirituality?... That there's something more than just an animal with a big brain and a meat suit. At least that's how I view it.” — Rainn Wilson [29:44]
“It's through connection that we find the greatest joy and happiness.” — Rainn Wilson [31:13]

7. Tiny Moments: Gratitude & Awe

[32:20–36:55]

Gratitude as a superpower: Rainn suggests shifting focus to what’s good, even during irritating moments at family gatherings.
Practical rituals: Go around the table and have everyone share something they’re grateful for—this fosters connection and positivity.
Gratitude as a virtuous cycle: Laurie notes one act of gratitude can spiral, seeding more joy for all.
Awe and wonder: Both discuss the health benefits of awe. Take moments in nature—even a cold star-gazing walk can provide a “reset.”
Spreading joy: Express gratitude to family members (even by text or phone), watch it ripple out.

Memorable Quotes:

“Holiday gatherings, when you feel overwhelmed… shift your mindset to one of gratitude.” — Rainn Wilson [32:26]
“The number of health benefits and psychological benefits to feeling awe and wonder are legion.” — Rainn Wilson [34:51]
“Just these tiny moments of experiencing nature… can really slow you down and give you that sense of awe and wonder.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [35:59]

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

“You say the holidays are coming and I feel my cortisol levels going up… I’m not a winter holiday fan.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [05:44]
“One thing that drives me crazy... is the pressure to bring something over. Why do we do that? We don't have to.” — Rainn Wilson [07:20]
“Getting back to the reason behind the season, as cheesy as it sounds.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [08:19]
“If you're really that busy that you can't be merry, you're doing Christmas wrong.” — Rainn Wilson [15:40]
“It’s the thought that counts.” — Rainn Wilson [14:19]
“Put your phone on a shelf, not in your pocket... reduces your interactions with it tenfold.” — Rainn Wilson [21:19]
“Noticing those moments of frustration... gives you a nice checklist for things you can pay attention to in the new year.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [23:36]
“There’s something in us… more than just an animal with a big brain and a meat suit.” — Rainn Wilson [29:44]
“It’s through connection that we find the greatest joy and happiness.” — Rainn Wilson [31:13]
“Gratitude is a superpower.” — Rainn Wilson [32:26]

Timestamps for Major Segments

[03:53] Episode content begins, holiday stress
[06:13] Gift-giving stress and consumerism
[09:47] Financial pressure and rethinking rituals
[12:03] Regifting and self-compassion in giving
[14:21] Coping with fatigue, perfectionism, and overwhelm
[18:03] Workaholism — roots and hacks
[21:06] The “phone on a shelf” strategy for family connection
[28:13] Cultivating meaning and spirituality at the holidays
[32:20] Rituals of gratitude
[34:47] Awe, wonder, and finding joy in small moments
[36:55] Episode wrap up

Tone and Style

The conversation is warm, honest, and very down-to-earth, blending practical psychology with Rainn Wilson’s quirky humor and heartfelt perspective.
Both Laurie and Rainn keep things conversational, often leaning into gentle self-deprecation and jokes from The Office.
The advice remains compassionate, non-prescriptive, and emphasizes self-forgiveness, creativity, and connection over perfection.

Key Takeaways

Holidays can be stressful, and that's normal. It’s okay not to feel merry all the time.
Gift-giving should prioritize connection, presence, and thoughtfulness—not expense or conformity.
It’s okay to change traditions; tailor your celebrations to fit your values and your means.
Practice self-compassion and be gentle with yourself if things go wrong.
Protect your mental and emotional energy: set boundaries, remove work impulses, and embrace “phone on a shelf.”
Use the holidays as an opportunity to plant seeds for longer-term personal growth, rather than to solve all problems at once.
Celebrate meaning through tiny rituals of gratitude, awe, and connection. Even small moments can cascade into lasting positivity.

A happier holiday to all—and remember, it's the thought (and the connection) that counts.
—The Happiness Lab Team

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Holiday Stress: Joy or Dread?

[03:53–06:13]

Laurie opens up: Holidays can be stressful for many, despite the expectation to be “the most wonderful time of the year.” She admits her stress response to winter festivities, preferring Halloween for its fun and low pressure.
Rainn offers balance: While a member of the Bahá'í Faith with a variety of rituals, his favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because of its focus on gratitude and simple connection, but he acknowledges holidays can be fraught for many.

Memorable Quotes:

"You say the holidays are coming and I feel my cortisol levels going up a little bit, my stress hormones. I'm not a winter holiday fan." — Dr. Laurie Santos [05:44]

2. The Pressure of Gift-Giving & Consumerism

[06:13–11:23]

Listener query: Rachel asks how to deal with the stress and consumerism of holiday gift-giving: “How much to spend? Is it a good gift? Will they like it? Who do I have to buy for?”
Rainn references The Office’s Princess Unicorn episode: He jokingly suggests everyone gifting the same toy as a funny solution.
**Both discuss the expectation of always bringing something—wine, chocolates—to gatherings, even if not welcome or needed.
Advice: Focus on gifts that foster connection—like a framed photo, shared experience, or deep conversation.
Laurie emphasizes presence over presents and suggests leaning into cheap, personalized gifts.

Memorable Quotes:

“One thing that drives me crazy, Laurie, is, like, the pressure to bring something over when you go to visit someone... Why do we do that? We don't have to do that.” — Rainn Wilson [07:20]
“Getting back to the reason behind the season, as cheesy as it sounds.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [08:19]

3. Financial Pressures of the Holidays

[09:47–12:03]

Inflation and travel: Rainn highlights how travel and gifts put financial stress on families—flying “has gotten way more expensive.” Families need to be more sensitive to differing budgets.
Laurie’s advice: Rethink rituals to match your values rather than default expectations; spending time together need not be expensive.

Memorable Quotes:

"If you have to cancel, I think that's fine to take care of your finances… We have to just be very sensitive to where people are financially." — Rainn Wilson [10:10]

4. Regifting & Coping With Gift Fails

[12:03–14:21]

Funny listener story: A listener accidentally regifts the exact present she received the prior year (a foot massager) to the original giver.
Rainn champions regifting: “I'm a big fan... I might give it back to the exact same person—that's how I roll.”
Laurie suggests: Self-compassion—everyone gives a bad gift sometimes; it’s OK.

Memorable Quotes:

“Maybe write down on a little Post-it note who gave you the coffee, so you don't give it back to the same person.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [13:30]
“It's the thought that counts.” — Rainn Wilson [14:19]

5. Fatigue, Perfectionism & Workaholism During the Holidays

[14:21–25:39]

Listener anxieties: Overwhelm from “so much to do,” work stress, and perfectionism.
Oxygen mask analogy: Rainn draws on the airline safety reminder—take care of yourself first to better serve others.
Laurie urges:
- Notice feelings of overwhelm as important signals (like a “tire warning light”).
- Take things OFF your plate (not just add more).
- Self-compassion: You don’t have to fix deep-seated issues in one holiday.
Workaholism: Rainn explains it often has roots in seeking love via achievement (“cookie under the mattress” analogy).
Practical strategy: Remove work email from your phone during holidays, or use the “phone on a shelf” method to break compulsive checking.
Boundary setting: Suggests families make phone baskets for gatherings as a mental wellness hack.

Memorable Quotes:

“If you're really that busy that you can't be merry, you're doing Christmas wrong.” — Rainn Wilson [15:40]
“Putting your phone on a shelf, not in your pocket... reduces your interactions with it tenfold.” — Rainn Wilson [21:19]
“Noticing those moments of frustration... gives you a nice checklist for things you can pay attention to in the new year.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [23:36]

6. Spirituality & Finding Deeper Meaning

[28:13–34:47]

Dr. Laurie asks: How can we create more meaning and joy in the season, especially with so many feeling a “crisis of spiritual meaning”?
Rainn clarifies: Spirituality need not be religious; it’s about recognizing our non-material essence—soul, spirit, consciousness.
Bringing meaning: Emphasizes compassion, humility, service, and love—“these tools give our lives meaning and joy.”
Strategy: Develop family/friends rituals—sharing gratitude, commemorating loved ones, tiny acts of connection.

Memorable Quotes:

“What is spirituality?... That there's something more than just an animal with a big brain and a meat suit. At least that's how I view it.” — Rainn Wilson [29:44]
“It's through connection that we find the greatest joy and happiness.” — Rainn Wilson [31:13]

7. Tiny Moments: Gratitude & Awe

[32:20–36:55]

Gratitude as a superpower: Rainn suggests shifting focus to what’s good, even during irritating moments at family gatherings.
Practical rituals: Go around the table and have everyone share something they’re grateful for—this fosters connection and positivity.
Gratitude as a virtuous cycle: Laurie notes one act of gratitude can spiral, seeding more joy for all.
Awe and wonder: Both discuss the health benefits of awe. Take moments in nature—even a cold star-gazing walk can provide a “reset.”
Spreading joy: Express gratitude to family members (even by text or phone), watch it ripple out.

Memorable Quotes:

“Holiday gatherings, when you feel overwhelmed… shift your mindset to one of gratitude.” — Rainn Wilson [32:26]
“The number of health benefits and psychological benefits to feeling awe and wonder are legion.” — Rainn Wilson [34:51]
“Just these tiny moments of experiencing nature… can really slow you down and give you that sense of awe and wonder.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [35:59]

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

“You say the holidays are coming and I feel my cortisol levels going up… I’m not a winter holiday fan.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [05:44]
“One thing that drives me crazy... is the pressure to bring something over. Why do we do that? We don't have to.” — Rainn Wilson [07:20]
“Getting back to the reason behind the season, as cheesy as it sounds.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [08:19]
“If you're really that busy that you can't be merry, you're doing Christmas wrong.” — Rainn Wilson [15:40]
“It’s the thought that counts.” — Rainn Wilson [14:19]
“Put your phone on a shelf, not in your pocket... reduces your interactions with it tenfold.” — Rainn Wilson [21:19]
“Noticing those moments of frustration... gives you a nice checklist for things you can pay attention to in the new year.” — Dr. Laurie Santos [23:36]
“There’s something in us… more than just an animal with a big brain and a meat suit.” — Rainn Wilson [29:44]
“It’s through connection that we find the greatest joy and happiness.” — Rainn Wilson [31:13]
“Gratitude is a superpower.” — Rainn Wilson [32:26]

Timestamps for Major Segments

[03:53] Episode content begins, holiday stress
[06:13] Gift-giving stress and consumerism
[09:47] Financial pressure and rethinking rituals
[12:03] Regifting and self-compassion in giving
[14:21] Coping with fatigue, perfectionism, and overwhelm
[18:03] Workaholism — roots and hacks
[21:06] The “phone on a shelf” strategy for family connection
[28:13] Cultivating meaning and spirituality at the holidays
[32:20] Rituals of gratitude
[34:47] Awe, wonder, and finding joy in small moments
[36:55] Episode wrap up

Tone and Style

The conversation is warm, honest, and very down-to-earth, blending practical psychology with Rainn Wilson’s quirky humor and heartfelt perspective.
Both Laurie and Rainn keep things conversational, often leaning into gentle self-deprecation and jokes from The Office.
The advice remains compassionate, non-prescriptive, and emphasizes self-forgiveness, creativity, and connection over perfection.

Key Takeaways

Holidays can be stressful, and that's normal. It’s okay not to feel merry all the time.
Gift-giving should prioritize connection, presence, and thoughtfulness—not expense or conformity.
It’s okay to change traditions; tailor your celebrations to fit your values and your means.
Practice self-compassion and be gentle with yourself if things go wrong.
Protect your mental and emotional energy: set boundaries, remove work impulses, and embrace “phone on a shelf.”
Use the holidays as an opportunity to plant seeds for longer-term personal growth, rather than to solve all problems at once.
Celebrate meaning through tiny rituals of gratitude, awe, and connection. Even small moments can cascade into lasting positivity.

A happier holiday to all—and remember, it's the thought (and the connection) that counts.
—The Happiness Lab Team

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Summary

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Holiday Stress: Joy or Dread?

2. The Pressure of Gift-Giving & Consumerism

3. Financial Pressures of the Holidays

4. Regifting & Coping With Gift Fails

5. Fatigue, Perfectionism & Workaholism During the Holidays

6. Spirituality & Finding Deeper Meaning

7. Tiny Moments: Gratitude & Awe

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

Timestamps for Major Segments

Tone and Style

Key Takeaways

Summary

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Holiday Stress: Joy or Dread?

2. The Pressure of Gift-Giving & Consumerism

3. Financial Pressures of the Holidays

4. Regifting & Coping With Gift Fails

5. Fatigue, Perfectionism & Workaholism During the Holidays

6. Spirituality & Finding Deeper Meaning

7. Tiny Moments: Gratitude & Awe

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

Timestamps for Major Segments

Tone and Style

Key Takeaways