Podcast Summary: The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos
Episode: How to Find Your Purpose
Release Date: March 3, 2025

Introduction

In this compelling episode of The Happiness Lab, Dr. Laurie Santos delves deep into the intricate journey of discovering one's purpose in life. Featuring an enlightening conversation with Jordan Grummet—a hospice physician, personal finance podcaster, and author of The Purpose Code—the episode explores the nuanced differences between grandiose life purposes and the more attainable, everyday pursuits that bring genuine fulfillment.

Jordan Grummet’s Journey: From Burnout to Fulfillment

Early Trauma and Misaligned Purpose

Jordan Grummet opens up about a pivotal childhood experience that shaped his initial perception of purpose. At seven years old, he witnessed the sudden death of his father, a respected oncologist, due to a brain aneurysm. This traumatic event led young Jordan to internalize feelings of inadequacy and a misguided belief that emulating his father’s career would somehow fix his fractured world.

Jordan Grummet [04:27]: "I told myself that there was something wrong with me. I wasn't enough, I wasn't good enough, I didn't do things well enough, I wasn't lovable enough."

Pursuit of Medicine and Subsequent Burnout

Driven by this narrative, Jordan pursued a medical career with the singular goal of following in his father's footsteps. Despite overcoming a learning disability and achieving academic success, he found himself entrenched in aspects of his job he despised, leading to severe burnout.

Jordan Grummet [05:00]: "I was spending my days doing things that I didn't love and I didn't enjoy and that weren't filling me up."

Realizing that his audacious purpose was unattainable and unfulfilling, Jordan began the arduous process of redefining his sense of purpose.

Little P Purpose vs. Big P Purpose

Understanding Purpose Anchors

Jordan introduces the concept of "little p" purpose—small, process-oriented actions that bring joy and fulfillment, contrasting them with "Big P" purpose, which often involves grand, goal-oriented ambitions that can lead to anxiety and disillusionment.

Jordan Grummet [13:26]: "Little P purpose is process oriented. Instead of goal oriented."

The Pitfalls of Purpose Mirages

He warns against "purpose mirages," which are enticing but ultimately unfulfilling goals like achieving extreme wealth or fame. These mirages distract individuals from engaging in meaningful, joyful activities that contribute to long-term happiness.

Jordan Grummet [23:27]: "Purpose mirages are basically Big P purpose that masquerades as being good for us."

Seven Practical Tips for Finding Your Purpose

1. Avoid Purpose Mirages

Steer clear of unrealistic, high-stakes goals that promise ultimate happiness but may not align with your true passions.

Jordan Grummet [30:08]: "Most of us grab onto some version of purpose that is suggested to us."

2. Make Your Purpose Personal

Your purpose must resonate with you individually. Avoid adopting others' visions of purpose that aim to fulfill their own needs rather than yours.

Jordan Grummet [27:57]: "We don't find our purpose, we create or build it."

3. Focus on the Process, Not the Goal

Shift your mindset from achieving a specific goal to enjoying the activities that light you up in the present and future.

Jordan Grummet [13:32]: "Little P purpose is all... and so it tends to be very, very abundant."

4. Conduct a Life Review

Reflect on significant moments, relationships, triumphs, and regrets to identify what truly matters to you. This introspection helps in building purpose anchors.

Jordan Grummet [37:23]: "What are their regrets and if there's anything you can do about them."

5. Reconnect with Childhood Joys

Your childhood passions can offer invaluable clues about your authentic interests. Revisiting these can help in uncovering your little p purpose.

Jordan Grummet [30:35]: "I loved baseball cards when I was little. And so I know that's a joy of childhood."

6. Implement the Spaghetti Method

Experiment with a variety of activities to discover what resonates with you. By trying new things, you can identify what brings you joy without the pressure of commitment.

Jordan Grummet [41:34]: "You throw a bunch of things against the wall and see what sticks."

7. Embrace the Art of Subtraction

Identify and eliminate the aspects of your life and work that drain you. Focus your energy on the activities you love to enhance your overall sense of purpose.

Jordan Grummet [42:17]: "Remove as many of the bad and boring parts of your life as possible."

Transformative Impact of Adopting Little P Purpose

Enhanced Happiness and Community Building

By embracing little p purpose, Jordan transformed his life from one of burnout to one filled with joy and meaningful connections. Purging unfulfilling responsibilities from his medical career allowed him to focus on hospice care and pursue passions like podcasting and writing.

Jordan Grummet [44:42]: "I have complete control and agency. These things allow me to feel in control, and that increases my happiness quite a bit."

This shift not only increased his personal happiness but also enabled him to build vibrant communities around his interests, fostering deeper relationships and collaborative opportunities.

Accessibility of Purpose for All

Jordan emphasizes that finding purpose isn't reserved for the privileged. Regardless of one's financial or social standing, everyone has tools and avenues to cultivate their little p purpose through creativity, community, and strategic life adjustments.

Jordan Grummet [46:35]: "Time and money are always the biggest reasons why people say they can't do this. So time... Money is a really important tool to living a life of purpose, but it's only one of many tools."

Conclusion

In this enlightening episode, Dr. Laurie Santos and Jordan Grummet provide a roadmap for listeners seeking genuine fulfillment. By distinguishing between grandiose aspirations and attainable joys, and offering practical strategies to cultivate personal purpose, they empower individuals to lead happier, more meaningful lives.

Recap of Tips:

1. Avoid Purpose Mirages: Focus on achievable, fulfilling activities instead of unrealistic goals.
2. Make Purpose Personal: Ensure your purpose aligns with your true self, not others' expectations.
3. Focus on the Process: Enjoy the journey rather than fixating solely on the destination.
4. Conduct a Life Review: Reflect on past experiences to identify what truly matters.
5. Reconnect with Childhood Joys: Use your early passions as a foundation for purpose.
6. Implement the Spaghetti Method: Experiment with diverse activities to find what resonates.
7. Embrace the Art of Subtraction: Eliminate unfulfilling aspects to focus on what you love.

By integrating these strategies, listeners are encouraged to take actionable steps toward a life rich in purpose and happiness.

Notable Quotes

• Jordan Grummet [02:12]: "Cause as we'll hear in this episode, purpose can be found in something as simple as collecting baseball cards and hanging out with others who share passion."

• Jordan Grummet [05:14]: "It's the Sunday scaries, right? Sunday night you're like, I don't want to go to work."

• Jordan Grummet [11:00]: "Everyone's like, I'm waiting for it. It's either going to fall on my head, I'm going to be successful and happy and the world's going to be great, or I'm going to miss it."

• Jordan Grummet [27:04]: "We have to do the hard work, which is building a life of purpose around it."

• Jordan Grummet [44:28]: "When I open the calendar app on my phone, almost everything on that app, everything in that calendar, is something that I put there and I can get rid of at the drop of a dime."

Final Thoughts

The Happiness Lab episode "How to Find Your Purpose" offers a balanced perspective on achieving life satisfaction through practical, actionable steps. By focusing on little p purpose and fostering personal joy, listeners are guided toward a more fulfilled and connected existence.