Podcast Summary: The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Episode: "Make Vulnerability Your Superpower" (with NBA star Kevin Love)

Release Date: October 20, 2025
Podcast Host: Dr. Laurie Santos (Pushkin Industries)
Guest: Kevin Love, NBA star and mental health advocate

Brief Overview:

In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Laurie Santos sits down with NBA star Kevin Love to unravel the often-misunderstood connections between high achievement, masculinity, and mental health. Together, they explore how vulnerability can become a superpower, especially in environments—like professional sports—where stoicism and “toughness” prevail. Kevin candidly discusses his struggles with anxiety, depression, and grief, charting his journey from silence and stigma to public advocacy and systemic change through the Kevin Love Fund.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Early Weight of Expectations and Masculinity

• Kevin's Basketball Roots and Family Legacy

  • Inspired by his father, a former NBA player, Kevin grew up immersed in basketball from birth, idolizing his dad and seeking to emulate his success.
  • “My dad… he was my first hero. He was like a giant to me. He was a protector.” (05:14, Kevin Love)
  • The small-town spotlight in Portland meant Kevin faced mounting expectations from childhood.

• Pressure, Identity, and Emotional Suppression

  • Being a “big fish in a small pond” led to feelings of pressure and a reliance on compartmentalization and emotional suppression, particularly around masculinity.
  • “I just had the playbook to bury it and compartmentalize and try and be stoic within my masculinity and my feelings. And that drove me to be pretty emotion phobic over the course of time.” (06:42, Kevin Love)

• Anxiety, Perfectionism, and Achievement

  • Kevin talks about how his identity as a basketball player was all-consuming—a hyper focus that fueled perfectionism and anxiety.
  • “My whole entire identity was built up to be just a basketball player. If I can just get that one more accolade... In some ways, it's, like, masochistic. Like, it hurts so good, right?” (07:22, Kevin Love)

• Generational Trauma and Family Struggles

  • The family’s history with mental health—highlighting his famous cousin Brian Wilson (Beach Boys) and his father's own struggles—showed him the deep, cross-generational roots of these issues.
  • “The Loves, I think, have always been prone to melancholy and dark spells dating back almost a hundred years now.” (09:32, Kevin Love)
  • Kevin and his father had an emotionally powerful reconciliation at the end of his father’s life.
  • “He did the best that he could and he wasn't equipped... Success is having your kids come home. We're here, we got you.” (11:05 & 11:47, Kevin Love)

Grief, Injury, and Breakdowns

• Loss of His Grandmother and Avoidance of Grieving

  • The death of Kevin’s grandmother—“the cornerstone” of his family—sparked regret and unresolved grief, which he attempted to outrun with his career.
  • “There was so much regret. I talk about it all the time. Regret... is more tied up in inaction rather than action.” (14:24, Kevin Love)

• Mental and Physical Collapse

  • Shortly after his grandmother’s passing, Kevin suffered a significant hand injury, compounding his depression.
  • “I was, you know, suicidal gestures, suicidal ideation, didn't ever leave my apartment.” (16:32, Kevin Love)

• Stigma and Lack of Understanding

  • Kevin’s agent’s advice—“snap out of it”—reflects the widespread misunderstanding of mental health issues, even among close relationships.
  • “Oh, I've never thought of that before. Oh, yeah, let me just snap out of it.” (17:17, Kevin Love)

The Turning Point: Panic Attacks & Going Public

• 2017-18 NBA Season and Public Breakdown

  • Years of pressure and emotional avoidance culminated in a very public, televised panic attack.
  • “I feel like I'm having cardiac arrest. I can't catch my breath… I end up passed out on the floor of our head trainer [Steve Spiro]'s office and he's the one who finds me there.” (24:10, Kevin Love)

• Therapy and Acceptance

  • The panic attack spurred Kevin to seek therapy for the first time, breaking the cycle of silence in his life and career.
  • “It was my first time I had gone to therapy... I had finally come to terms that, okay, it's time to start doing the work.” (25:54, Kevin Love)

• The 2018 Players Tribune Article

  • Kevin’s essay, “Everyone Is Going Through Something,” marked a watershed moment for vulnerability in sports.
  • “I was just tired of struggling and being in a terrible place, in silence and in the shadows. So press send. And then my life inherently changed forever.” (28:42, Kevin Love)

• Impact and Peer Response

  • The overwhelmingly positive reaction included thousands of messages of support and gratitude.

  • “We had 10,000 plus emails in the first week... I had to create a separate email because there were just so many people.” (29:10, Kevin Love)

  • Key supportive moments:

    • Kyle Korver: “He came across the aisle and shook my hand and just told me that there's going to be something here. You're going to make a huge difference in people's lives.” (30:21, Kevin Love)
    • LeBron James: Provided a “knowing approval and kind of wraps me up in a big hug.” (31:19, Kevin Love)

Advocacy, Legacy, and the Kevin Love Fund

• Embracing Vulnerability as a Superpower

  • Kevin finds that authenticity brings levity, even if it comes with the weight of public expectation.

  • “Just speaking about it gives me levity because I get to be an open book. I'm allowed, I'm empowered to be open... If you don't like it, that's your problem.” (32:05–32:17, Kevin Love)

  • On legacy:

    • “It's going to be more about eulogy than legacy... They're going to talk about how he made people feel. They're going to talk about his relationships.” (33:17, Kevin Love)

• Kevin Love Fund: Mission and Impact

  • The Kevin Love Fund is dedicated to integrating emotional wellness education in schools, starting at a young age.

  • “If we can learn about physical health and sexual health, why aren't we being taught about emotions and mental health?” (38:07, Kevin Love)

  • The curriculum models vulnerability, with teachers sharing first, then students—including athletes—opening up about hardships (food insecurity, family absence, etc.).

  • “This is a free curriculum... It has potential to really have a huge impact on a kid's life.” (39:48, Kevin Love)

  • On ripple effects:

    • “What is changing that one life actually look like? What does it do? I don't know if we can quantify it… but there's a lot of, I think, healing to be had through all that. And it's not just that one person. It has a ripple effect.” (40:48, Kevin Love)

Transforming Sports Culture

• Challenging Stigma in Athletics

  • Kevin reflects on how opening up at the professional level empowers others at the college and high school level to seek help despite fears about their careers.
  • “It's not unlike what I had at the highest level. But also, I've already made it... I can't imagine the pressures, but also the pain of having to feel like you need to hide that with your coaches.” (42:19, Kevin Love)

• Role of Coaches & Institutions

  • Coaches, like Erik Spoelstra (Miami Heat), are now integrating mental health days and services, demonstrating the importance of leadership in changing the culture.
  • “Coach Spo… he'll just bring it in and be like, blackout day. Nobody come in, get some sun, get some vitamin D. It's good for you. Right? Spend time with your families, play the long game…” (43:20, Kevin Love)

• The Science of Performance & Compassion

  • Both Dr. Santos and Kevin agree that long-term well-being and performance require compassion and proactive care for athletes’ mental health.
  • “I think when we come to think about people's mental health, their human performance side of things, we probably need to be a little bit more compassionate there too.” (44:35, Interviewer / Host)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Regret:

  • “Regret... is more tied up in inaction rather than action.” (14:24, Kevin Love)

• On Panic and Going Public:

  • “I feel like I'm having cardiac arrest... I can't get oxygen in my brain... I end up passed out on the floor...” (24:10, Kevin Love)
  • “So press send. And then my life inherently changed forever.” (28:42, Kevin Love)

• On Vulnerability:

  • “Vulnerability is superpower strength.” (44:02, Kevin Love)

• On Legacy:

  • “They're going to talk about how he made people feel. They're going to talk about his relationships. They're going to talk about how he made an impact on other people's lives.” (33:17, Kevin Love)

• On Advocacy:

  • “If we can learn about physical health and sexual health, why aren't we being taught about emotions and mental health?” (38:07, Kevin Love)
  • “Everybody's going through something that you can't see, right? So let's be compassionate.” (40:30, Kevin Love)

Important Timestamps

• 02:35 — Dr. Santos on the social stigma of mental health, especially among men and athletes
• 05:14 — Kevin Love describes his upbringing and familial influences
• 07:22 — Kevin Love explains his perpetual anxiety and dread
• 09:32 — Generational trauma in the Love family, connection to Brian Wilson
• 14:24 — Loss of his grandmother, regret, and the body “keeping score”
• 16:32 — Depressive episode and isolation after injury
• 24:10 — Description of public panic attack and aftermath
• 28:42 — Going public with mental health struggles (Players Tribune article)
• 31:19 — Peer and teammate support after his story broke
• 38:07 — Kevin Love Fund's mission in emotional education
• 43:20 — Impact of coach and institutional support in professional sports
• 44:02 — “Vulnerability is superpower strength.”

Conclusion:

This episode paints a vivid, honest portrait of one superstar's journey from internalized pain and secrecy to open advocacy and leadership. Kevin Love’s story offers powerful lessons for athletes, parents, coaches, and anyone wrestling with the stigma of mental health. Above all, his message is one of hope: that vulnerability, compassion, and systemic support can break intergenerational cycles and drive a cultural shift toward true happiness and belonging.
Learn more: KevinLoveFund.org