The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos
Episode: Top 5: Throw Yourself into Fandom
Release Date: November 22, 2024
Introduction to the Anniversary Season
As Dr. Laurie Santos celebrates the fifth anniversary of The Happiness Lab, she revisits some of her favorite episodes. In this installment, “Nerd Out: The Happiness of Being a Fan,” Dr. Santos delves into the psychological benefits and complexities of fandom, featuring insights from author Tabitha Carvin and actor Wil Wheaton.
Tabitha Carvin’s Journey into Fandom
Timestamp: [02:13]
Dr. Laurie Santos introduces Tabitha Carvin, an author and psychologist, who shares her transformative experience with fandom. Tabitha describes how becoming a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch and his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes provided her with unexpected joy and a sense of identity during a challenging period of her life.
Tabitha Carvin: “Before motherhood, I enjoyed an active career and hobbies. After, my children became my entire world, and I lost sight of who I was.”
[03:37]
Facing a personal crisis, Tabitha encountered an advertisement for the new season of Sherlock Holmes, sparking an intense attraction to Cumberbatch that reinvigorated her sense of self.
Tabitha Carvin: “I just felt more alive and awake in the moment watching this TV show than I had in the years previous raising my children.”
[04:22]
Wil Wheaton’s Perspective on Fandom
Timestamp: [02:13]
Joining the conversation is Wil Wheaton, author of Just a Geek and host of the YouTube show Tabletop. Wil shares his lifelong passion for fandoms, particularly his love for Star Trek, and discusses the profound impact that geek culture has had on his well-being.
Wil Wheaton: “Being a nerd is not about the thing you love, it's about the way you love that thing.”
[15:15]
Wil emphasizes the importance of embracing one’s passions without shame, advocating for a wholehearted engagement with what brings joy.
Wil Wheaton: “You're entitled to it. You're completely entitled to it. To just put up that kind of block in reaching your own happiness seems crazy.”
[35:58]
The Psychological Benefits of Fandom
Stress Reduction and Playfulness
Timestamp: [19:04]
Jennifer Lynn Barnes, a psychologist and New York Times bestselling author, contributes her expertise on how fandom acts as a stress reducer. Engaging creatively with favorite characters or stories allows fans to experience a form of imaginative play akin to childhood pretend play.
Jennifer Lynn Barnes: “Fanfiction is a form of imaginary play. It is parallel to either daydreaming in adulthood or actual pretend play in childhood.”
[20:05]
Parasocial Relationships and Social Surrogacy
Timestamp: [21:32]
Fandom fosters parasocial relationships, one-sided bonds with celebrities or fictional characters that fulfill social needs.
Dr. Laurie Santos: “Parasocial relationships can... have a lot of the real-world benefits of actual relationships.”
[21:56]
Shira Gabriel’s social surrogacy hypothesis suggests that these relationships help satisfy innate social needs, offering companionship and a sense of belonging.
Jennifer Lynn Barnes: “Parasocial relationships... don't seem to matter whether the person is real or fictional.”
[21:49]
Social Connection and Community Building
Timestamp: [24:20]
Fandom creates communities where individuals with shared interests form meaningful connections, reducing feelings of loneliness and fostering lifelong friendships.
Tabitha Carvin: “When I found other people who loved the things that I loved, I found people who loved me and accepted me.”
[24:46]
Sense of Identity and Self-Esteem
Timestamp: [25:20]
Identifying as part of a fandom provides individuals with a sense of identity and pride, boosting self-esteem and promoting prosocial behavior within the community.
Dr. Laurie Santos: “You wind up harnessing an important psychological trick that can make you kinder, more playful and more joyous.”
[37:47]
The Dark Side: Toxic Fandom
Despite the many benefits, fandom can sometimes manifest in negative ways. Wil Wheaton recounts his own experience with toxic fandom during his time on Star Trek: The Next Generation, where harsh criticism from fans led to personal distress.
Wil Wheaton: “It was really rough.”
[27:11]
Dr. Santos warns of the potential for in-group identities within fandoms to foster toxic behavior, although she notes that such instances are relatively rare.
Jennifer Lynn Barnes: “It's important to point out that the vast majority of fans never turn toxic.”
[26:29]
Overcoming Stigma and Embracing Fandom
Dr. Laurie Santos and her guests discuss strategies for embracing fandom despite societal stigmas. Tabitha Carvin shares how connecting with like-minded fans online empowered her to proudly express her passion for Benedict Cumberbatch.
Tabitha Carvin: “When I connected with them online, it just generated the most incredible energy.”
[32:21]
Wil Wheaton advises listeners to recognize and nurture their passions without self-judgment, highlighting the profound happiness that can result from fully engaging with one’s interests.
Wil Wheaton: “Stay alert to that feeling... just fan the flame of that spark a little and see what happens next.”
[36:47]
Conclusion: Embracing Your Inner Geek
Dr. Laurie Santos concludes by encouraging listeners to embrace their unique passions, regardless of how trivial they may seem. The episode underscores that deep engagement with fandom can lead to increased happiness, social connection, and a stronger sense of self.
Dr. Laurie Santos: “Unleash your inner geek. Commit to getting cumberbatched with your own unique target of joy.”
[37:23]
By overcoming guilt and societal expectations, individuals can unlock unexpected benefits that contribute significantly to their overall well-being.
Notable Quotes
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Tabitha Carvin: “I just felt more alive and awake in the moment watching this TV show than I had in the years previous raising my children.”
[04:42] -
Wil Wheaton: “Being a nerd is not about the thing you love, it's about the way you love that thing.”
[15:15] -
Jennifer Lynn Barnes: “I did a lot of daydreaming about fictional characters. I did a lot of that emotional investment and it did, I think, make me less lonely.”
[19:33] -
Dr. Laurie Santos: “When that motivation strikes to dive deeper than you initially feel is appropriate into some movie or sci-fi series or celebrity crush, you might feel embarrassed... But the science shows that geeking out... can boost your sense of connection and presence.”
[37:14]
Final Thoughts
“Throw Yourself into Fandom” explores the nuanced relationship between passion and happiness. Through personal stories and psychological insights, Dr. Laurie Santos and her guests illuminate how embracing fandom can serve as a powerful tool for enhancing well-being, fostering connections, and cultivating a vibrant sense of self.