422: Balancing Full Time Motherhood as a Full Time Wedding Photographer - with Alex McCrary and Jamie Tobin

Summary

The Heart & Hustle Podcast
Episode 422: Balancing Full-Time Motherhood as a Full-Time Wedding Photographer
Hosts: Evie McLeod & Lindsey Roman
Guests: Alex McCrary & Jamie Tobin
Release Date: February 25, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 422 of The Heart & Hustle Podcast, hosts Evie McLeod and Lindsey Roman delve deep into the intricate balance of managing full-time motherhood alongside a thriving wedding photography business. Joined by two inspiring guests, Alex McCrary and Jamie Tobin—both Iowa-based photographers and dedicated mothers—the conversation unpacks the challenges, strategies, and heartfelt experiences that come with juggling family life and a demanding creative profession.

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Meet the Guests: Alex McCrary & Jamie Tobin

Alex McCrary

• Profession: Traditional Midwest wedding photographer
• Family: Mom to three daughters (ages 8, 6, and almost 2)
• Focus: Local weddings within Iowa, Wisconsin, and Minnesota
• Approach: Prioritizes spending bedtime exclusively with her children, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries to maintain family life.

Jamie Tobin

• Profession: Destination and elopement photographer
• Family: Mom to two boys (ages 3 and 14 months)
• Focus: Travels extensively across the US, primarily in Washington, Oregon, Utah, and national parks
• Approach: Balances extensive travel with motherhood by leveraging a strong support system, including her mother and a dedicated babysitter.

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Starting Points: Business Before or After Motherhood

Alex's Journey: Alex began her photography career after becoming a stay-at-home mom. Her initial foray into photography was a fulfilling hobby that soon blossomed into a full-time business as her passion for capturing couples and weddings grew. Balancing her growing family with her burgeoning business required her to quickly learn and implement effective boundaries.

Notable Quote:

"Having boundaries doesn't mean that you are working less productively or not going to have as big of a business. It can also set some sort of respect"
— Alex McCrary [22:54]

Jamie's Journey: Conversely, Jamie established her photography business before embracing motherhood. This pre-existing structure allowed her to integrate her new role as a mom with her professional commitments, albeit with significant adjustments to accommodate her family's needs.

Notable Quote:

"Motherhood is great... there are so many different ways to be a photographer, be a mom. Let's just talk about it."
— Jamie Tobin [11:28]

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Local vs. Destination Photography: Different Paths, Common Challenges

Alex's Local Focus: Alex's commitment to traditional Midwest weddings keeps her close to home, allowing her to maintain a balanced routine without the extended travel demands that come with destination photography. Her typical wedding day spans 8-10 hours, enabling her to return home the same evening and dedicate Sundays entirely to family and church.

Notable Quote:

"Sundays are also no. So like I only have three days a week where I'm like, you can schedule here, otherwise you're gonna have to wait till next week."
— Alex McCrary [24:08]

Jamie's Destination Adventures: Jamie thrives on the adventurous side of photography, frequently traveling to picturesque locations across the US. Managing destinations with young children necessitates a robust support system, including her mother and babysitter. Jamie emphasizes the importance of planning buffer days and automating workflows to ensure business continuity even when she's on the move.

Notable Quote:

"I have a small village but it's not possible without my small village... my mom calls herself my traveling nanny, Grammy."
— Jamie Tobin [14:15]

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Support Systems: The Backbone of Balance

Both Alex and Jamie acknowledge the pivotal role of their spouses and extended support networks in managing their dual roles.

Alex's Support: Alex's husband is a coffee roaster who transitioned from a traditional job to co-owning a coffee shop before focusing solely on roasting. This flexibility allows him to be present for their children, enabling Alex to dedicate her work hours effectively.

Notable Quote:

"He works for our local school system... that's what he does."
— Jamie Tobin [12:35]

Jamie's Support: Jamie's husband maintains a consistent work schedule, freeing up weekends and holidays for family time. Additionally, her mother and babysitter provide invaluable assistance during Jamie's travels.

Notable Quote:

"Ashley is a godsend... I'm full-time stay at home mom, full-time business owner, never sleeping ever. Pure caffeine."
— Jamie Tobin [15:08]

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Navigating Mom Guilt and Setting Boundaries

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the pervasive issue of mom guilt and the strategies employed to mitigate it.

Understanding Mom Guilt: Both guests acknowledge that mom guilt is an inevitable aspect of motherhood, especially when balancing it with a demanding career. They emphasize that experiencing guilt indicates a deep care for both their children and their businesses.

Notable Quote:

"Every mom is going to experience mom guilt if you care deeply."
— Alex McCrary [40:13]

Implementing Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy balance. Alex discusses how establishing specific work hours and automations can prevent work from encroaching on personal and family time. Jamie highlights the importance of communicating these boundaries with clients to manage expectations effectively.

Notable Quote:

"My office hours are like the clients know right where I can be reached, what times I can be reached and when I can't."
— Alex McCrary [24:08]

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Managing Workflows and Systems

Efficient workflows and systems are crucial for sustaining both motherhood and a successful photography business.

Alex's Approach: Alex relies on setting aside dedicated work hours during her children's school time, ensuring she completes major tasks like editing and workflows when she can fully concentrate.

Notable Quote:

"When they're busy with school is when I work and get all my work done and then I don't work after they come home."
— Alex McCrary [25:13]

Jamie's Approach: Jamie leverages tools like Dubsado and Honeybook to automate client communications and streamline processes, allowing her to maintain productivity even while traveling.

Notable Quote:

"I have workflows and automation... work mode's already done, workflow's already automated."
— Jamie Tobin [30:18]

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Pregnancy as a Wedding Photographer: Experiences and Strategies

The episode touches upon the unique challenges faced by photographers who become pregnant while managing their careers.

Alex's Experience: Alex shares her experience of photographing a wedding 30 weeks pregnant and how she manages workload postpartum with minimal downtime.

Notable Quote:

"The biggest thing for sure is being able to have that community of people."
— Alex McCrary [52:05]

Jamie's Experience: Jamie candidly discusses photographing a wedding 40 weeks pregnant, highlighting the unpredictability of pregnancy and the importance of having a trusted second shooter to step in when needed.

Notable Quote:

"I was photographing it, and like, guests are like, 'Are you okay?' And I'm like, 'No,' that's hilarious."
— Jamie Tobin [50:07]

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Encouragement and Advice for Mompreneurs

As the conversation winds down, Alex and Jamie offer heartfelt advice to fellow mothers managing creative businesses.

Embrace Seasons and Set Priorities: Understanding that both business and family life go through various seasons helps in setting realistic expectations and adapting accordingly.

Notable Quote:

"Some people do really well with social media, some people do really well with something else. You just have to find what works for you and set those boundaries and give yourself grace."
— Alex McCrary [48:04]

Self-Care is Essential: Prioritizing self-care not only benefits the individual but also enhances the quality of both family life and business operations.

Notable Quote:

"The more you take care of yourself and, like, you feel happy, the better your kids are gonna be, the better your business is gonna be."
— Jamie Tobin [45:02]

Leverage Community Support: Building a network of supportive peers who understand the dual challenges of motherhood and business can provide invaluable emotional and practical support.

Notable Quote:

"Having industry friends that are moms too, that you can relate to... sometimes you just need somebody to be like, yeah, yeah, I was gonna say."
— Alex McCrary [42:17]

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Final Thoughts and Takeaways

Episode 422 of The Heart & Hustle Podcast offers a rich tapestry of insights into the lives of two dedicated photographer mothers. Alex McCrary and Jamie Tobin eloquently illustrate that while balancing full-time motherhood with a full-time business is undeniably challenging, it's entirely achievable with the right strategies, support systems, and mindset. Their candid discussions on mom guilt, boundary-setting, workflow management, and personal experiences provide a beacon of inspiration for creative entrepreneurs navigating similar paths.

Key Takeaways:

• Set Clear Boundaries: Define specific work hours and communicate them effectively with clients to ensure personal time is respected.
• Leverage Support Systems: Rely on spouses, family members, and trusted babysitters to create a reliable support network.
• Embrace Flexibility: Understand that balance is dynamic and may require constant adjustments based on the seasons of both business and family life.
• Prioritize Self-Care: Recognize that taking care of oneself is integral to sustaining both family and professional success.
• Utilize Efficient Workflows: Implement tools and automation to streamline business processes, reducing the burden and enhancing productivity.

For creative entrepreneur mothers seeking to emulate Alex and Jamie's success, this episode serves as both a roadmap and a source of encouragement, affirming that with dedication and the right approach, it's possible to thrive in both business and motherhood.

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Connect with Alex McCrary & Jamie Tobin:

• Cameras and Car Seats Podcast: Instagram - @CamerasAndCarSeats
• Jamie Tobin Photography: Instagram - @JamieTobinPhoto
• Alex McCrary Photography: Instagram - @AlexMcCraryPhotography

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Thank you for tuning into The Heart & Hustle Podcast. Stay inspired, stay empowered, and continue chasing your dreams!

Transcript

[Evie McLeod]

You're listening to the Heart and Hustle podcast. We are your hosts, Evie McLeod and Lindsay Roman. Welcome back to the show, friend. We are so happy to have you here week after week and episode after episode. This one is going to be a gem for our mothers, hopeful mothers to be wherever you are. If you are intrigued with the concept of building a photography business while being a full time mom as well, we are going to have a great conversation with two gems of ladies photographers, Alex and Jamie today. And we are covering basically these two besties from Iowa coming in, both moms, both photographers, to share their thoughts, their experiences and their opinions on motherhood and business. So Jamie, I'll cover her and then Lindsay will dive in a little bit about Alex. Jamie is a destination adventurous, like elopement photographer, based in Iowa but hitting up all around the US since about 2012. Passionate about motherhood and business and tackling the two together.

[Lindsay Roman]

And Alex, her best, is also based in Iowa and she is a Midwest wedding photographer that focuses on traditional weddings. She's a mom, a girl mom to three little girls and she had such a different perspective from Jamie while being obviously they're both moms, but her being like, I focus only on local weddings. I'm very traditional, like that's my market. And I it's a priority for her to be in, you know, bed every night in her home as a mom. And so we had these two perspectives on the show to dive into the topic on motherhood and photography and how to run a full time wedding photography business, whether that's destination or local, while having children and especially children in the toddler stage. We covered so much. It was a good girl chat, like very back and forth conversational. But we cover how to deal with pregnancy as a wedding photographer who watches their kids, especially for Jamie when she's traveling and you know, flying everywhere to do destination weddings. Alex talked about boundaries on specifically how she implements boundaries so that, you know, all of her weddings don't overtake her personal life and her time with her kids. And they, they honestly both talked about boundaries and how they make it work, what their husbands do to support or if they have other support. Yeah, I feel like there was so.

[Evie McLeod]

Much we talked about mom guilt, we talked about community, we talked about workflows and systems just a bit and how, you know, that can be make or break this season of your life. We talked about different seasons within motherhood and business and how to kind of balance those. There was just a lot, honestly that was unpacked in today's episode. So if you are intrig by the topic of running a business while being a mom, you're going to want to listen to this. Buckle up and let's learn from Jamie and Alex. So you want to grow on Instagram, but you don't know where to start. You may even be posting out the wazoo, but you're still not seeing any progress.

[Lindsay Roman]

Here's the deal. While being consistent is key to growing on the gram, it's not the only thing you need. In fact, one of the most important aspects of growing on social media comes down to strategy. In order to create a killer social media strategy where you're not only attracting new clients, but turning them into paying clients, you need a plan.

[Evie McLeod]

Yes. And today we are about to help you create a customized social media marketing strategy for free that will result in a ton of Instagram growth that will turn into sales and business growth. Now, are you ready to deep dive? We thought so. Grab our freebie. How to define and establish your content [e-mail] Pillars.

[Lindsay Roman]

Hey.

[Alex McCrary]

Hey.

[Lindsay Roman]

I'm Lindsay Roman.

[Evie McLeod]

And I'm Evie McLeod. And we are family and legacy focused serial entrepreneurs and the founders of the Hart University, a business education company with a mission to help you thrive in your business and life.

[Lindsay Roman]

Welcome to our entrepreneur cocktail hour where business and marketing strategies meet faith, real talk and raw in life changing conversations.

[Alex McCrary]

At the end of the day, we.

[Evie McLeod]

Are all in this together, figuring out how to navigate the ups and downs, the messy and the beautiful and everything in between. This is a community where you can come as you are, get inspired and walk away equipped to build a legacy filled life.

[Lindsay Roman]

You're listening to the Heart and Hustle podcast. Alex and Jamie, welcome to the Heart and Hustle podcast. We are so excited that you're here.

[Jamie Tobin]

Hi.

[Alex McCrary]

Hi. Thank you for having us. We're so excited.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yay.

[Evie McLeod]

It's so fun to connect and actually also like have a conversation because I just know names have been in DMS for years and like a lot like we've been like Internet friends and dming and all the things. But it's really fun to like have you girls on the podcast and actually like chat and have a.

[Lindsay Roman]

It's been chaotic girl chats before. We've hit recorded.

[Evie McLeod]

It's true.

[Lindsay Roman]

Wow. That wasn't even a sentence. But we knew it's going to be a good time today. I cannot wait.

[Evie McLeod]

Yes. I love it. Okay, well for anyone who hasn't been DMing you for years and doesn't know who you girls are, can you just kind of share a little bit of your story and who you two are and what you do.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm Alex. Jamie and I both live in Iowa and I am a traditional Midwest wedding photographer. I have three daughters. Eight, six, and my youngest will be two next month. So I started out as a stay at home mom and then I started taking photos. Loved it. It became my full time thing. My husband came home from his job and now I just love doing weddings full time and also, and just encouraging moms that they can do the same thing while also growing a family and maintaining a good family life.

[Jamie Tobin]

Which is so funny because I'm the opposite. I have like. So I started my business before having kids and I was like, I don't know, maybe we'll have kids. Maybe, maybe. I don't know. And then I live in Iowa. I'm from Iowa. I never work in Iowa.

[Alex McCrary]

I love it.

[Jamie Tobin]

I am always somewhere else. But it's so much fun because I do like, destination all day, adventure, elopements, and I'm always in the mountains, so hobbit jokes run deep. And then I have two boys, so I have a 3 year old and a 14 month old and they are just, they are my little baby besties and I just put my oldest in preschool. So I'm going through all the feels this week.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, I bet. Amazing big transitions. Yeah, I love it and I love that you girls are both. You're bringing almost two sides of the same coin to the table into the conversation, which is really cool. Um, and from at least like my understanding of you ladies of your podcast of kind of your, like, brand and mission together is kind of encouraging. Mothers who are photographers in kind of that balance. Is that a good, like, simple summary of what you girls do?

[Jamie Tobin]

Pretty much. Like, I feel like we wanted to validate moms and like how you're feeling. This is hard, but it's also worth it. Like the journey of mom, the journey of photography. But also like, it's kind of fun because we're mixing the traditional with the elopement. And then like, but we're still like best friends. And I don't know, we're like, we're bringing it all together. Like, you have girls, I have boys. It's all chaos all the time.

[Lindsay Roman]

I love it. That's so true. Okay, so just so I'm, I'm catching my brain up to speed just because it's, it's lagging a little. It's the first of the year, it's lagging a little. Bit behind. Alex, you do, like, mostly local traditional weddings. And then Jamie, you do, like, almost purely destination.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah, I make, like, a little triangle between Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, because I'm at, like, northeast Iowa. So I have, like, a little.

[Jamie Tobin]

And I feel like for the most part, I am mostly in Washington, Oregon, in Utah.

[Evie McLeod]

Okay.

[Jamie Tobin]

Do you have my favorites?

[Lindsay Roman]

Like, do you. Did you used to live there, or is that just, like, where the. That you. As far as, like. Yeah. Demographic and destination.

[Jamie Tobin]

So I started basically first doing it. So, like, when I first was like, destination, everything, I'd be like, whole us. Let's go. And then I realized very quickly that I'm like, I really just want to be in Washington, Oregon, Utah, national parks, mountains. Yeah, that's just where I feel the most alive. And, like, that's how, like, that's where people see me. That's where they see, like, where I take my kids, where I bring my hubby. I'm just a mountain person, and it just. It's very, very me to make any sort of Lord of the Rings joke. So, like, it fits so well every time I'm in, like, the northern mountains versus, like, Red Rock southern mountains. And then my clients are also the same way.

[Alex McCrary]

That's so great.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay, I want to just dive right on in. I have like a 5 billion questions for you girls as I'm. Or any photographer or business owner that is also a mom who's listening to this episode would also. So I want to first know, were you moms and then you started your businesses, or did you start your business and then become a mom? Because that's. That's my story, technically.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah. So Jamie and I kind of have both takes on that. So that's one thing that's super fun to talk about because I was a stay at home mom, and when I had my first daughter, everything was great. We're like, let's just have another one. Because they trick you like that.

[Jamie Tobin]

They really do.

[Alex McCrary]

And then you have your second one, and you're like, whoa, what happened? I need to get out of the house. And so I. I like taking pictures and stuff in, like, high school and everything. So I was like, this is an easy hobby that I can just start doing again. And so I did that after having my second, and I attended a local workshop where I photographed, like, families and couples. And I was like, ooh, I love couples. And so then I just decided to start taking on a couple weddings. And that kind of escalated. Like, that first year I did two, and then I did 12, and then I did 20, and I ended up starting my business that way. And then I had my third. Was actually my first experience having a baby, like shooting weddings, pregnant and all that stuff. Because I had had my other two.

[Jamie Tobin]

Mine is. Yeah, the complete opposite. I had thriving business, then children, and I, like, had jumped into motherhood in the rudest, most. I feel like, Lindsay, you can probably, like, I think you had a similar experience where you were planning for a certain birth experience, and it went the complete, totally different world. And we can have you back on.

[Lindsay Roman]

To talk about that, because that. That's a whole entire podcast episode in and of itself. I shared my birth story on the show.

[Evie McLeod]

I don't think so. You probably.

[Lindsay Roman]

I say my birth story specifically when I say my birth story. Eloise is really what I mean by that. But anyways, we can stay on track. Okay, well, this is great, though. So you both have entirely different experience. Not entirely, but, like, you're both coming to it from different coins of like, Alex started motherhood and then started her business. Started motherhood. You get what I'm saying? And then Jamie had a business and then kind of went to motherhood from there.

[Jamie Tobin]

And then we both had opposite experiences with motherhood. You've had three natural births. I've had two C sections. One of them which was unplanned and recovery was awful. And then I had to go right back to work six weeks later, and I was still in so much pain. But, you know, fake it till you make it. It's fine.

[Evie McLeod]

Rough, man. Goodness. Okay.

[Jamie Tobin]

But it's fine. Motherhood is great.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

There's little unexpected plot twists in there.

[Jamie Tobin]

But we also, like, with talking to moms, photographers, we're just like, these things happen. And this is what. We're just gonna keep going and we're gonna talk about it. And you're not alone. One of our biggest things was to just. You're not alone. Like, there's so many different ways to be a photographer, be a mom. Let's just talk about it.

[Evie McLeod]

I love that. Okay, well, speaking of so many different ways to do it, you girls have very different approaches. So, Alex, it seems like you handle it more where you're kind of in, like, a much more close to home radius. Is that right?

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

And then, Jamie, you're in a very far from home traveling radius. Right? Can we. I want to touch on both. Can we start with, like, the far from home. Like, if the mom who's currently listening to this, who's like, I'm either currently doing destination work or I want to I want to do destination work, whatever. And.

[Lindsay Roman]

And you have littles?

[Jamie Tobin]

Yes, I'm in the toddler trenches. 3 and 14 months.

[Lindsay Roman]

Wait, wait, wait. Maybe before that question. What do yalls husbands do? I would love to know because that's the real tea, is it not?

[Evie McLeod]

That's a valid question.

[Jamie Tobin]

Mine lives in a little closet. No, I'm just kidding. He just does what I say. No, my husband's actually in it. So he works for our local school system here and his job is Monday through Friday, 7:30am to 4. He always has weekends off unless we wanted to do overtime. But like his schedule is consistent every single time. And it's school calendar so I can always rely on holidays that he has off. But that. That's what he does.

[Alex McCrary]

My husband is a coffee roaster. So a couple years ago when he quit his nine to five we decided to open up a coffee shop. And so we did that, ran that and then he got into coffee roasting. And then actually next week will be the final like sale of our coffee shop so that he can focus on roasting so he's able to kind of adjust his schedule and be there for the kids all the time when I'm not.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay, well yeah, that was kind of my question. But I'm more intrigued by the Jamie who's doing destination that has a husband that is working like a normal typical like outside of the home job maybe. Jamie, you can now start unpacking. How you do that with the travel.

[Alex McCrary]

Unpack it.

[Jamie Tobin]

Oh my God. I just picked up on that joke. So I have a small village but it's not possible without my small village. I live 15 minutes from my parents and my children are the only grandkids. So it's a little. There's a little bonus if they're the only.

[Lindsay Roman]

You got a sweet deal right there.

[Jamie Tobin]

But my mom calls herself my traveling nanny, Grammy. So she has come with me sometimes when I have brought. At the time it was just Mercer my old. She has come with and she's like babysat but like then they both gotta stand back and watch me work. And then other times the boys will just go to my parents house. And then at the moment I have one babysitter. And we love her. Ashley is a godsend. But she, she is busy this next semester which is why I enrolled my oldest into preschool. But basically it's either my mom or it's Ashley or I'm full time stay at home mom, full time business owner, never sleeping ever. Pure caffeine. I'm not saying that's good advice, but that is currently our schedule while I'm in the toddler trenches.

[Lindsay Roman]

We love the honesty, and that is. Yeah, that is a great description. The trenches are what? What? It's like, you just head down, you focus on what you do in the trenches until you grow. Yeah.

[Jamie Tobin]

Like, I know I'm going to miss this age so much because they're so funny and, like. Like, my youngest personality is really starting. It's. It's also so much fun when I've gotten to bring them on elopements, and they're just like, that's so cool, Mommy. I'm like, yeah, it is really cool.

[Evie McLeod]

That's so sweet. There's nothing sweeter than, like, having, like, a little. Little eyes see what you do. Especially, like, when they're your own kids, and then they're just like, that's so cool. You're like, wow. I've never felt, like, closer to, like, like, legend hero status in my life.

[Lindsay Roman]

I have.

[Jamie Tobin]

I have.

[Lindsay Roman]

Sorry. I have a niche question. You can respond, but I don't want to interrupt.

[Evie McLeod]

Lindsay's on one.

[Jamie Tobin]

I had a funny joke, so we're just gonna.

[Lindsay Roman]

Oh, wait, please. No, no. Please share.

[Jamie Tobin]

I was just like, yeah, I'm a new Marvel character.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

Traveling photographer.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah. It's great.

[Lindsay Roman]

This is maybe me going in, and I want to get to Alex, but, Jamie, this is, like, such a niche. This is me, like, okay, but I need to know every aspect. If you're taking your mom and your child to destination, do the clients pay for that or does that come out of pocket? I'm thinking of, like, flights, like, all the things.

[Jamie Tobin]

No, that's a valid question. I. So if they are coming with me, that's coming out of my pocket. I actually did bring my mom with me to a Utah elopement this year or last year. It's 2025 now, but. And that was so much fun. But, like, I. It was kind of like my present to my mom because she had helped me so much with, like, childcare because I had traveled so much, and she was my emerg backup. And there was one time I was flying back from Hawaii to Iowa, and I actually got super, like, altitude sickness because I had jumped off so many planes trying to get home. And, like, I was like, mom, I'm gifting you a present to come with me. But that was out of my pocket. Otherwise, like, if there's times where I know I need a second shooter, so then I, like, I have that second shooter built into travel costs. If that makes Sense otherwise, like, if I just want to bring them with me, I just want to bring them with me, and I'm going to budget for that.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah, no, that makes sense.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah. Okay.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's just me diving in.

[Alex McCrary]

I love it.

[Evie McLeod]

I love it. Okay, Jamie, I just really quick before we, like, kind of shift over to Alex specifically, and then we can just talk motherhood and business and all the things in general, too. But, Jamie, how do you feel? Obviously, I would assume there's still an element where you're like, I'm still also figuring some of this out, because I don't know if we'll ever all, like, figure anything fully out. But how do you feel? Because I know your priority, both of you, is very much like, motherhood. Like, that's. You know, our kids are very important, and we also are business owners. And, like, you girls seem to be, like, passionate about, like, hey, moms, you can do both and whatever, and you can be still fully there for your kids. But how do you feel, Jamie? Like, that balance, finding it, or maybe you're still finding it, like, how has that been when you're leaving home? I would assume somewhat consistently with the amount that you're shooting. How do you feel that has been the journey. Has that been hard? You feel like you found a balance? What thoughts or tricks do you have on? Like, hey, I found this has worked really well. Like, anything that you have on that when you're leaving home specifically?

[Jamie Tobin]

I feel like some. Some days are easier than others. Some days are harder. And I feel like sometimes it's just a season or a week. So, like, I feel like when I first leave the house for the airport, I'm like, yes, mom break. And. And then I get kind of lonely because I'm like, oh, I want to call the kids. I don't want to call my husband. No, but so, like, I feel like it's. It's such a give and take. And I feel like I'm never 100% gonna be, like, shutting off one part of my brain. Like, I'm always thinking, okay, do they need something? Are they okay, like, default. Default brain to, Like, I'm always. But, like, when I'm in the zone at work, I can turn it off. But, like, when I'm traveling, I'm looking at my screensaver. Like, I'm. I'm texting, and then I'm just like, hey, what are the boys up to right now? Or so, like, it's such a give and take, and I feel like there's never gonna be a perfect Work mode, mom mode. There's never. It's never gonna be a perfect balance, but it's. It's like some days are better than others. And other days I'm. I'm excited to leave the house. I'm excited to be me and just be myself outside of motherhood. But other times I just. I miss. I miss the kids.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, I feel like it's. It's always a. A learning process that's so relatable.

[Lindsay Roman]

Also just.

[Jamie Tobin]

Well, and I feel like if you're trying to get, like, if you're still in the stages of becoming, like, trying to conceive being a mom and everything, like, I feel like it's. And we're not trying to scare you, it's just you're always. You're always going to be thinking about your kids. Like you. Once. Once you become mother, it's like you're. You're not that person, the old person anymore, if that makes sense.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah. I feel like a different version of you is created and like.

[Jamie Tobin]

Like they say a parent and a kid is born on the same day or something like that. Whatever that saying is, that checks out.

[Lindsay Roman]

That checks out. I feel that. That it is different. I feel like I'm also a freak of nature where I just like, check. I'm like, very like, oh, I'm in my work box and now I'm in my mom box. And I feel like I travel and leave kind of. Yeah, I'm able to just like segregate it a lot. But it's not that you don't miss them.

[Jamie Tobin]

Right. Yeah, exactly. That.

[Lindsay Roman]

I fully agree with what you're saying of just like it. There is a. It's like you blossom into a completely different person almost when. When you become a mom.

[Jamie Tobin]

And like every day is. You just. You figure it out. Like, some travel days are harder, some travel days are easier, and some days I can completely be in work mode and then I'll come home and I can decompress and like, the way I have systems set up, it's. It's easier for me to come home because I already have work things taken care of and I can have those, like, 24 hours to switch back into home life, if that makes sense.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah, totally.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, totally does.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay, let's switch over to Alex real fast. And I want to know, how do you. I guess the original question I think you asked, it feels like so long ago now that we've just be bopping around. How do you balance, quote, unquote, the, you know, proverbial, whatever Balance the elusive. How do you balance being a mom and being a photographer? Like that's full time. You do full time weddings, correct?

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

Yep.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay.

[Alex McCrary]

So it's so yeah, full time all the time. I've learned a lot because I started my business while I had kids. I kind of had to learn to implement boundaries right away. Yeah. And so learning what my boundaries are and realizing that bound, like having boundaries doesn't mean that you are working like less productively or not going to have as like big of a business. I think having boundaries can also set some sort of like respect and as far as your client works goes. Because when I first started I didn't know I was like, I am somebody who's going to be there for my clients all the time. I was answering emails at like 2am I was editing super early. I thought if I woke up earlier to edit, like I could get editing done. The earlier you wake up, your kids know it. They have like some sort of sixth sense the second your feet hit the floor.

[Lindsay Roman]

It's so true.

[Alex McCrary]

I'm like, today's the day, I'm gonna wake up at five and they're like same.

[Lindsay Roman]

So.

[Alex McCrary]

I tried all the things and just realizing that a big thing for me in my work is boundaries and automations. If I didn't have those two things, I would simply pass away.

[Evie McLeod]

Amen.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah. And one reason I chose, I love the traditional Midwest weddings. If you're from the Midwest, you know a wedding is like 250 to 300 people. It's your mom and then your mom's cousin's co workers friend.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yep.

[Alex McCrary]

It's everybody that you know. And I, I love that. And I also knew that I wanted to be close to home. I wanted to for the most part. There's a couple here and there that aren't this way. But for the most part I know that I can leave to go to a wedding and come home the same night. Yeah. And so to be able to just be like, okay, I'm gonna be gone for the day. But then when I get back home, I like all my clients know Sunday is like church day. It's family day. I'm shutting everything off. And so having those expectations with my clients up front, like they know right where I can be reached, what times I can be reached and when I can't. Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

I guess my follow up to that was like, do you have examples of the types of boundaries that you implement into your business to maintain like an actual thriving personal life?

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah. So for me personally and obviously I Fully believe in working in seasons because especially with kids, they grow and change so fast. So when they were younger this looked a lot different. But now that my older two are in school it's like I will not work before they go to school. So we spend the morning making breakfast, getting them ready for school, finishing the homework that they told me that they finished the night before but didn't. And then, then they go to school and then while they're in school, that's when I work and get all my work done and then I don't work after they come home unless I have a session that night that is like no zone. And then I also have set days during the week. So Wednesday nights is when we have like our small group, our kids have their like kids group. And so I do not work Wednesday nights. I don't schedule appointments or sess. Um, and then same goes for Sundays as well cuz we're on like the worship team at our church and that then we do Sunday night dinners at my husband's family. And so Sundays are also no. So like I only have three days a week where I'm like, you can schedule here, otherwise you're gonna have to wait till next week.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah, totally.

[Evie McLeod]

I love it.

[Lindsay Roman]

And then remind me of how many kids you have and how old they were. Like do you have any toddlers at all or like, or any that don't go to school?

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah, my youngest. So I have a 8, 6 and almost 2 year old. All girls.

[Lindsay Roman]

So does your 2 year old go to like daycare or are they still at home?

[Alex McCrary]

At home. So because my husband is at home also, unless he has to go and like roast, we'll usually kind of rotate days. So if there's a day that he has to get a lot of stuff done, I'll just do like light work that day and then do more heavy work while she's napping and then we'll kind of switch to. Or if he's like, hey, you should get work done. Like I'll just go sit it at a coffee shop or something while he has her at home. I love it.

[Jamie Tobin]

That's come sit at my house.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah. What would, what, what do you mean when you say like light work? Like what do you mean? Like what would be an example of work that you do while she is with you versus like work that you do? Like no, you need to like not have a almost two year old yapping at your feet.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah. So light stuff for me is like if I want to look for like social media ideas to post or I'm going to check my email inbox. Maybe one of my clients texts me and I need to respond. So anything that can take me like five or 15 minutes or less.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

And then I save that bigger stuff like editing and like working on like a workflow or making sure a guide or whatever. Like any of that stuff that's saved for when I can actually like sit and focus.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, I love it.

[Lindsay Roman]

That makes sense.

[Evie McLeod]

Okay, I'm curious from both of you, in the, the seasons where you're leaving home, is there anything.

[Alex McCrary]

And I don't want to like, put.

[Evie McLeod]

This on as if, like, there should be something. I'm just curious when you come back home, whether, like, Alex, for you, you're like leaving for an all day wedding and then you're home the next day, or Jamie, you've been traveling for a few days and you come back home, is there anything for you? I know Alex, you mentioned the Sunday, like family day, church day, Sabbath, like, block, but is there anything additionally, like, in your girl's minds that you're like, hey, we do this to establish almost like a balance. Like, I've just been gone fully out of the home for a day, two, three, however long, and I'm coming back home. Do you have anything in place that you're like, this is how we reconnect or spend a full day with the children. I don't touch work once I've come back home. Or is it like. No, I try to, you know, dive back in, but I also still try to keep up with my work and I'm trying to juggle the two. Does that make sense? Sense?

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, I have like the Sundays completely off. So yeah, like, we spend that at church. We'll come home. We just purchased an acreage and are turning that into a homestead. So we're working on a lot of like home projects and like sourdough pancakes, things like that. So we just kind of fully immerse ourselves in that on Sundays and then when they're busy with school is when I work.

[Jamie Tobin]

So I feel like when I come home from traveling, I'm trying to think like, I do purposely. So, like, I actually just went through my dubsado calendar and like, for travel dates, I already know, I make sure that they can't. No one can schedule an appointment on certain times. So, like, I have a couple times this October where I have the whole week blocked off. I'm like, technically I'm home, but I'm not gonna, like, it's not gonna Be in my calendar. I will have to manually make an exception because it's just. It's not gonna work. I need a mental break to hang out with Mark. And, like, we joke back and forth. Cause, like, you're Homestead and I'm in the city. It's Iowa. It's not that deep. But, like, it's. We usually. We like to. When it's nice, when it's not snowing, which it's currently snowing, we like to go, like, out. We're big, like, brewery people. So, like, we will always take the boys for a walk downtown, like, where we live. I'm obsessed with our downtown in the summer because there's so many activities going on where, like, there's live music and stuff like that. So we purposely try to make that family time. Like, let's go do something. Let's get out of the house. Let's go get some pretzels.

[Alex McCrary]

Oh, I love it.

[Evie McLeod]

I love it. I think that's just, like, something that I would assume if you're gone and traveling and, like, full days at a time dedicated, I would assume the mama heart would want to be like. As much as I know my work is also pulling me to be like, now I have all these sneak peeks and, like, culling, and I need to edit this and get this sent out. And now I have this whole new gallery added to my queue, and I need to get this one done and sent off so that, like, I have one less. I know, like, all of that is still probably a huge tug, but I would think in my head something that would create some semblance of, like, balance or, like, reconnection, intentional time would be trying to set aside some time of, like, even if it's like, I work a half day, the day I'm back and I'm able to send out the sneak peeks, and then I'm with my family. That just in my head, I'm like, that makes, like, seems like it would be a good system. So I was curious if you girls did something of, like, trying to find some sort of balance in that when you are gone and working a good bit and then coming back home.

[Jamie Tobin]

Well, and it's funny that you mentioned that too, because, like, when I do my destination stuff, I purposely put it in every single one of my clients's workflow. So, like, it's part of my workflow. I have to do it. So I'm traveling with buffer days, but during those buffer days, I still have a quote unquote work schedule. So, like, while I'M traveling back. I purposely schedule certain flights and stuff because my I do 24 hour sneak peeks so I'm technically still in work mode at the airport. But the reason I do it that way is so I know when I get home it's home time. Work mode's already done, workflow's already automated. All of those things are uploaded, ready to go. I don't have to worry about it because I have workflows and automation.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah, that's so good.

[Evie McLeod]

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[Evie McLeod]

Hello, I wanted to interrupt this episode really quick to remind you that we have an apparel shop with heart filled pieces. See what we did there that we have designed with you in mind.

[Lindsay Roman]

In the shop we've got T shirts, crop tops, sweatshirts, mugs, hats and more. All created with comfy and cute designs that you can rock in your everyday life life.

[Evie McLeod]

This collection is for you if you love the show and want to share it with your friends in a cool way. Or if you want to wear something cute as heck that was intentionally designed with powerful phrases to remind you that you can do it, you were made to be a world changer and that the Lord created you wildly capable of big freaking things.

[Lindsay Roman]

Now obv. This is a podcast and we can't show you how cute as heck these pieces are on the show. So run, don't walk to the heart shop to check out our apparel and more. You can head to www.theheartuniversity.com appare to grab your favorite pieces. Today I. Oh, this literally was. I was literally before you even brought up sneak peeks. I was going to ask Alex. So I'm actually glad that Jamie, you gave us this answer because that's helpful to know from like a travel perspective. But Alex, with you, you mentioned that Sunday is your Sabbath day. How do you handle sneak peeks? Do you just like, like, not that it has to have a 24 hour return. Like that's. We, I think we put that on ourselves in the industry. But that doesn't have to be. But like how do you handle sneak peeks? Do you call the night of the. Or are you like doing it fully on Monday? You don't even touch it. Like, I would love to know.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah. So I do 24 hour sneak peeks when I get home from my wedding and I back up my images while they're backing up. I know that we all like, as photographers have those moments of like, ooh, that's the shot. You know what I'm saying? So I remember those. And then as my images are like backing up, I will pull those handful like 10 to 20 into Lightroom and, and just edit them super fast and then send those to my clients.

[Lindsay Roman]

So night of the wedding.

[Alex McCrary]

Night of. Yeah, there are some exceptions. If I get back at like 12, you know, in the morning, I would do it like before we leave for church, but usually it's that that same night.

[Jamie Tobin]

I don't think that happens too. Like that's like probably one or two of your weddings.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

I'm usually home between 8 and 9pm yeah. From a wedding.

[Jamie Tobin]

Dang.

[Lindsay Roman]

Wait, what? Who are you shouting? I was literally like, wait, that's tea.

[Evie McLeod]

It's been a, it's been a while since I've only done Midwest weddings.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

But I'm like, am I just. Was. Am I not.

[Lindsay Roman]

They party too.

[Alex McCrary]

I like, I think. Oh, they do. They just do it like right after the ceremony. Have you ever been to a Catholic wedding?

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

Well, they party hard and they do it right after the ceremony. They usually do. Here's the thing. I will tell my clients because most of mine are chill. I think a lot of this has to do with like my brand as well. Totally. Is that, that my clients know that they want some reception photos. But they, some of them will say, I Don't need more evidence. Or, or I will tell them like once you are done with the first dances and you're all dancing and hanging out about 30 minutes into that, they all look the same. So I was like, it really depends. Do you want a lot of those? And that's totally fine if you do, but if I'm there for about 30 minutes of that, after that it looks like that it just gets a little sloppy poppier.

[Evie McLeod]

Okay, I have, I have, I have a question that's so.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's so Midwest though.

[Evie McLeod]

I have. Okay. I have thoughts and questions.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like it's not like an east coast or west coast rager.

[Evie McLeod]

You're like low key, like downselling them.

[Alex McCrary]

Alex.

[Evie McLeod]

Like you're. You're intentionally kind of being like, hey, they all start to look the same. Do you really want that many? Like you're low key kind of.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, because she wants me home by 9pm for her Sunday Sabbath.

[Evie McLeod]

So here's my.

[Lindsay Roman]

Get it.

[Evie McLeod]

Here's my question. What is your typical number hours, like hourly coverage on a wedding?

[Alex McCrary]

Eight to ten.

[Lindsay Roman]

So you're starting early.

[Evie McLeod]

Dang.

[Alex McCrary]

So, yeah, my average day is either noon to 8 or about 10am to 8. I would say on most average that.

[Lindsay Roman]

Checks out for like a good old fashioned Midwest wedding.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah. Or any wedding. Yeah, that checks out. It's just. It's just like. It's not the ranger.

[Evie McLeod]

The thought of being home goes by a wedding. I'm like, that just does not happen anymore.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, also remember she's. You're in Iowa. Iowa. Do you live close to like all the venues?

[Jamie Tobin]

Ish.

[Alex McCrary]

Like that one depends. So there's not like a ton in our area. So usually I'm traveling anywhere from one to two hours.

[Lindsay Roman]

Oh, okay.

[Alex McCrary]

So yeah, there are. It. Yeah. I would say there are nights where I get home at 8pm depending on travel. The latest is usually 9 or 10. And then I have those like handful every year where I get at midnight. But most of them recently have been pretty close.

[Jamie Tobin]

Which is fine because you just. I'm like me the whole way home and we're like, so let's decompress. This is what happened today.

[Evie McLeod]

How was it? Family photos went out Haywire.

[Alex McCrary]

Yes. You would not believe. No, I. Yeah, I'm about like an hour from Cedar Rapids, an hour from Iowa City. Hour and a half.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

So it's like not bad.

[Jamie Tobin]

I'm like, how familiar with the Midwest because we're not Ohio and we're not Kansas.

[Evie McLeod]

No, I know all those cities though.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

I Love it.

[Evie McLeod]

That's so fun. Okay, so being able to get home and edit those sneak peeks and send those off allows you to still give like. You know what I would consider? 24 hour sneak peek. I would consider like a premium like client luxury experience. But it's definitely not required, but something that you're like. I've built in a system in my business that allows me like the night of my kids are probably already asleep and I'm home backing up and like culling editing, you know, those select images. Also there's something. I don't currently do this, but there are ways. And y'all may know this, but I'm also just saying it for any listener too. But there are ways to rate your images in camera while you're shooting them too. So I know a lot of photographers who will do that when they're shooting and they like these things.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah, I do that.

[Lindsay Roman]

I see.

[Alex McCrary]

I knew you could, but I don't. Yeah, same.

[Lindsay Roman]

I've heard. Heard that you could, but then I forgot about that until you just said it just now. Would that not be a lot of work in the moment, especially on a wedding day? Is it like you could program your camera to hit a button to like that.

[Alex McCrary]

So like I do that in my brain. I'm like, yeah, that's the one.

[Jamie Tobin]

See, but like I can do it just with quick, with my thumb, like really fast. I'm like, okay, boom, boom. Five star.

[Lindsay Roman]

Is it because you've like programmed like a easy to hit button to be the five star button button or is.

[Alex McCrary]

It just like already a button?

[Jamie Tobin]

I feel like on the R. So I shoot with the R6 Mark II and I feel like it's kind of already there. Like I feel like whoever designed the iOS oh my God, that's not Apple. The software. Like whoever like works tech. I am such a techie person. So it's. I met my husband working. We both worked for Apple, so.

[Evie McLeod]

So the iOS us. It's ingrained into your brain.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah, it's just, it's. And like I. He's in it. So obviously technology is very. He. He made sure to pick out our microphones.

[Alex McCrary]

I love it.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's amazing. Well, you have great microphones. I. I have a question about the elusive and wonderful mom. Guilt. And just like that piece of the puzzle.

[Evie McLeod]

Elusive.

[Lindsay Roman]

No. I don't know. I was trying to sound fancy.

[Evie McLeod]

Okay.

[Alex McCrary]

I have feelings. I have feelings about.

[Jamie Tobin]

I was gonna say a spicy hot take.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah, I want all the spicy hot takes.

[Evie McLeod]

The hot take.

[Lindsay Roman]

Give us the hot Dogs on mom Gill. And just like, because I feel like so many, and I'm not even saying that y'all feel that. I'm just saying a lot of listeners, I think that either our moms and want to own a business or they have a business and then they became moms or whatever. And that just is something that I think is talked about a lot and that a lot of women do feel in this. So just hot takes all around.

[Alex McCrary]

Alex, I feel like if you every mom is going to experience mom guilt if you care deeply. Like showing that you have mom guilt shows how much you care. Yeah, like it shows how much you care about your kids, how you approach things, how you feel about things. And you're constantly worried about that is because you care care like you're a mom. Like you're just going to experience mom guilt. It's just learning what, what to do with it and how to handle it. Because there's definitely ways to like spiral and then be like, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, there's so many things going on. But learning to take things in seasons, I always tell myself that like I just, I live by that is like, okay, even if this is hard right now, it's hard for a season, but it's not always going to be this way. And also realizing that if you need to set more boundaries like in your business or set some things aside, your business isn't going to just implode. And that's one reason too, like with adding like 24 hour sneak peeks and like all that stuff is like, I can do that because I don't take 40 weddings a year. I don't take 50 weddings a year. I raise my prices so that I max out at about 20 and then I'm able to be there and be more present. And so never feel bad for having mom Gill because it just means that you can't.

[Jamie Tobin]

Well, and also like with mom Gil, it's like, it's really hard too in the early days. And I feel like some photographers, as they are out of the toddler days, they forget how hard the toddler days are. And it's like it's, it's such a balance between like, hey, I see you in this season. Do you need help sort of thing?

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, 100%.

[Jamie Tobin]

But also like validating moms, like, hey, if you need, if this is what you need, that's okay. Just tell your clients that like if you need four week turnaround time or something like that, just set those rules. And then make those rules known. And that's okay that. That. That's your rules. That's fine. It doesn't have to look like everyone.

[Alex McCrary]

Else'S also having industry friends that are moms, too, that you can relate to, because I know there's days where Jamie and I are just like. Like, I'm struggling. There's laundry everywhere. My kids are screaming at me, is it a full moon? And then you're like, okay, I'm good now. Sometimes you just have to, like, vet to somebody who's like, yeah, sometimes it sucks. And then, like, who can be there to, like, in the hard times and in the good times, Sometimes all you need is that, like, somebody to just validate you even if you know it in your head if you know the right answer or not. Sometimes you just need somebody to be like, yeah, yeah, I was gonna say.

[Jamie Tobin]

I call you my dark and scary friend. Like, you need. You need a friend that you can go through the dark and scaries with.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's so good.

[Evie McLeod]

Alex is like, I'm dark and scary.

[Alex McCrary]

Love that.

[Jamie Tobin]

For me, like, when things are hard, you're. You're the person I call when I'm in the dark and scary places.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah. Oh, I feel like that's. That's a gospel truth right there. Just like the community and, like, no matter where you're at in business, but especially, I would assume, going through the trenches of motherhood and balancing the business and, like, because in. In a way, your business is also like a baby, especially if you had it before having kids. And so there's this feeling of also, like, this respons to continue to nurture and grow and, like, you know, give it just the right amount of attention and nurturing, whatever. But then there's also, like, yeah, but these are also my human babies who require X, Y, and Z. But that tug on your heart, and it's like, hey, having that community and people who can help you navigate and figure out, like, maybe it is time to slow down just a touch on this. On your business for this season while you have your kids at this age. Or like, hey, you're just scared to dive back in. Like, you can do more than you're. You're capable of. Time to, like, press the gas just a bit more. Try this. You know, that. That, like, community and having those people in those seasons. I agree with you girls is, like, everything. And I think probably a game changer in motherhood, too.

[Jamie Tobin]

It's true.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

I think one time, too, that I realized that I had the most mom guilt is when I felt like I was wasting time. Like, I was doing too many things at once. Because I don't feel it as much when I have, like, boundaries set. And I know that this work is moving the needle forward or this work is, like, what pays our bills. And I want to see my girl. Girls watch me do what I love and make a living doing it. Because I want them to know that if they choose to do that, they totally can. Yeah. The times I look back and feel guilty or felt guilty in the moment was when I was trying to just do too many things and spending, like, wasting my time in areas that weren't working. I was trying to wear all the hats. And it's like, you don't have to do that to have a successful business. It's true.

[Jamie Tobin]

Oh, you know what's funny? So, like, my oldest started preschool this week, and we are also renovating our laundry room right now. So we have the podcast and we have photography, we have children, we have cats.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah.

[Jamie Tobin]

But, like, so I'm cats. I'm at allergic to cats. I know. I'm so sorry. I'm at the laundromat. Right. And I. My oldest is in preschool. My youngest was with my husband because he had time off, and I felt my jaw uncleansed and I was like, oh. And then I immediately felt guilty, and I was like, wait, we're not doing that. You're allowed to leave the house. Your kids are fine. You're allowed to put your oldest in preschool. You don't get a badge for doing it all, and it's okay. And then I was like, oh, I actually needed to feel this. I needed to feel my jaw unclench. I needed to feel at peace and just not feel touched out. And it's like, the better. The more you take care of yourself and, like, you feel happy, the better your kids are gonna be, the better your business is gonna be. Because, like, your kids are a reflection of you, and your business is a reflection of you. So it's like, if you're happy and people see that you're happy, they're like, they wanna cheer you on. Your kids wanna cheer you on. You wanna cheer your kids on. Everything else is better if you're taking care of yourself.

[Evie McLeod]

That's true.

[Lindsay Roman]

Amen to that.

[Jamie Tobin]

Sorry. That was a soapbox.

[Evie McLeod]

No, that was soapbox.

[Jamie Tobin]

That was a moment that happened on Monday this week. And I was like, that is so. I was just thinking about that soapbox at the moment.

[Evie McLeod]

I loved it.

[Lindsay Roman]

I get it.

[Alex McCrary]

I don't want to be Done.

[Evie McLeod]

But I love it because that was actually a question I was going to ask you girls was like, what encouragement would you give to a mom who's currently trying to juggle both and feeling maybe a little overwhelmed or whatever. And like, I feel like, Jamie, that was the perfect answer. Like, spot on. Perfect soapbox. Alex, do you have anything to add to maybe like the mom who's sitting there and kind of feeling like she's drowning a little bit or struggling with the juggle of motherhood and photography therapy?

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah, I would say the one thing that is huge is to kind of figure out, okay, sit down and map out in my family life, what are my priorities. In my business life, what are my priorities? And then setting up boundaries for each of those things. Like I said before, like having a even client email right off the bat. Like, you can, my office hours are this, you can reach me here, you can't reach me here. And this is when to expect everything by. And it almost releases because before when I would wake up at 2am and see that I had an email, I would respond right away because I, they didn't have clear boundaries from me. So when were they expecting me to respond? When were they like, I don't know. So then it was this pressure I was putting on myself. Well, I have to do it. Well, I have to do it. So when you realize, like, you're in control of that, you can make those rules fit your business. And so sit down and do that. But then also don't try to do all the things at once. Because if you're trying to post on social media, you're trying to like, shoot all the things you're trying to, like balancing all of those things. Like, you can't, you, you'll end up 10 percenting everything. Like, you need to pick your few things that work. And it's different for everybody. It is trial and error. Like, some people do really well with, like, social media, some people do really well with something else. Like, you just have to find what works for you and set those boundaries and give yourself grace.

[Evie McLeod]

Amen.

[Lindsay Roman]

Mike Draw.

[Evie McLeod]

We got two good soapboxes.

[Lindsay Roman]

That was so good. Okay, I know we're nearing the end, but I, I, I know there's people out there that like, they're just urging me silently in my ear to ask this question. Just kidding. I just want to know the answer to this question. And I think y would be the perfect people to ask Pregnancy. As a wedding photographer, I know I just opened a can of worms that this alone topic could be an entire episode.

[Alex McCrary]

But real fast. It's gonna say not to, like, plug there, but we did just drop a whole episode on that.

[Lindsay Roman]

Wait, no. Literally plug it. Plug it so hard. But then, like, just give us a little nugget.

[Evie McLeod]

Little teaser.

[Jamie Tobin]

So what was that? Episode three or four? It's episode three or four, but we legit broke down. Down.

[Lindsay Roman]

What is your podcast called?

[Jamie Tobin]

So our podcast is called Cameras and Car Seats, and it's literally motherhood business figuring it out. Some episodes are more mom heavy, vent sessions more. Some are work.

[Alex McCrary]

Some are, like, how.

[Jamie Tobin]

Honey, no.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Jamie Tobin]

So, like.

[Lindsay Roman]

But, like, especially right now in the current climate, that's the way we did it.

[Alex McCrary]

We dropped it, like, the next day.

[Evie McLeod]

Oh, spicy.

[Jamie Tobin]

I love it.

[Lindsay Roman]

Wait, wait, wait. I'm so sorry.

[Evie McLeod]

I don't mean to derail this. No, don't derail this.

[Lindsay Roman]

Is one of you Dubzado, and one of you.

[Alex McCrary]

I'm Honeybook.

[Lindsay Roman]

Oh, this is so hysterical.

[Alex McCrary]

We're, like, polar opposite in every way, but not.

[Jamie Tobin]

But, yeah, we're still best friends.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay, so you cover a varying array of topics on your podcast, but you recently did an episode about being pregnant as a wedding photographer and how to handle that.

[Jamie Tobin]

Because I have experienced all of my pregnancies and postpartums now in my business, you've experienced one. But then, like, we talked about how having February babies, because we both have February babies. And then how I had a November baby, and I actually photographed my last wedding 40 weeks pregnant and had my second four days later. I'm insane, but I see, I feel.

[Lindsay Roman]

Was it destination?

[Jamie Tobin]

No. Oh, no. It was close to home. I didn't think about that one. No. Kind of close to home. It was two hours away. It was fine. It was drivable.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay, that's better. That's better.

[Jamie Tobin]

My husband came with me.

[Evie McLeod]

That's still kind of unhinged.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's unhinged.

[Jamie Tobin]

I don't recommend it.

[Alex McCrary]

I shot my last one at, like, 30, and I was like, I'm good.

[Jamie Tobin]

It was so funny being there, though, because, like, I. I wanted to go to that wedding. I told this. I told baby. It was jet. It was my second board. I'm like, you're not coming in October. You're going to be a November Scorpio. And so it was legit. I'm at this wedding, I'm photographing it, and, like, guests are like, oh, what are you doing? I'm like, Tuesday. They're like, what? What are you doing here? And I'm like, I was bored.

[Evie McLeod]

I was.

[Jamie Tobin]

I was Just having fun with the guests at that point. And they're like, are you. Are you okay? And I'm like, no, that's hilarious. It was fun, and I felt good. And then.

[Lindsay Roman]

Did you have an assistant, A second shooter?

[Jamie Tobin]

I did have a second shooter, and they were amazing. Like, and then my husband was just following me around all day. He's like, don't scale that wall. I still scaled the wall. He's like, what are you doing?

[Alex McCrary]

Get down.

[Jamie Tobin]

And I was like, I don't want to get. I'm. I'm working. And, like, honestly, it was so funny, though, because, like, the groomsmen are like, how are you doing that right now?

[Lindsay Roman]

Amazing. We are incredible.

[Jamie Tobin]

Like, I so, like. And we had opposite experiences. So for the most part, like, my second pregnancy was kind of awful. I was mostly anemic. I had low iron, so I didn't totally feel good. But I still obviously felt enough to shoot a wedding 40 weeks pregnant. But, like, I felt fine pregnant. And then you didn't.

[Alex McCrary]

I get super sick, and I get more and more sick with each pregnancy, so I didn't push myself a lot when I was pregnant. I didn't shoot a ton. I stopped shooting. Granted, my last wedding of the year anyway, was in December, and so I was like, 30 weeks. But I feel great, like, postpartum. Like, I don't have an issue going back to work, like, two months.

[Jamie Tobin]

And I'm the opposite. I feel C sections.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The biggest thing for sure is being able to have that community of people. Like, there was one time, I think I. I looked back at this after the episode. I was, like, seven weeks pregnant.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

And I. My couple didn't know. Like, nobody knew yet. And Jamie knew, and she. And I messaged her. I was throwing up. I couldn't keep anything down. And so I went into the doctor and they gave me, like, different prescriptions for things that wasn't working. And so I was like, I. Could you, like, possibly come with me? Like, just to make sure if I need to step away, that you can help step in and just finding somebody that you can trust and lean on because.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

You ended up, like, taking over for, like, an hour. Well, I'm still, like, I was just.

[Jamie Tobin]

Be bopping around like, hey, what's up, guys? And they're like, I don't know. As I was James friends with Alex. We trust you. And I'm like, yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

And I was like, I'm fine. And I'm, like, chugging lemonade.

[Jamie Tobin]

And, like, they didn't know I'm just helping you out, and I'm just having fun. Like, I love still. So I do shoot elopements, but I love helping my friends. So, like, if I can, I can rock a traditional wedding day. I just choose not to.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

Wait, Alex, was this a wedding day or couple session?

[Alex McCrary]

It was a wedding day.

[Evie McLeod]

Oh, wow.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah. So I had to. I was like, could you please, like, drive to this wedding. Yeah. And help me? I was there at, like, the times I was supposed to be, but I just. It gave me comfort of knowing that, like, if I needed to step away and, like, go half a minute and then come back, like, it was taken care of.

[Evie McLeod]

Did you tell your couple that you were pregnant and, like, super sick? Wow.

[Lindsay Roman]

Did they. Did they wonder why there was somebody there that wasn't you shooting things?

[Jamie Tobin]

I don't think they do.

[Alex McCrary]

Because I don't know if there was ever really a moment where she, like, took over where it would have been obvious. Like, it was, like, during, like, candid moments or like, it was like, more second. Yes.

[Jamie Tobin]

So I got there before you, and I was just. Hey, I'm just filling. I just got here early. I'm gonna fill in a little bit this morning. Alex is on her way. Like, she knew you would have it, a second shooter coming. So it's not like we don't recommend blindsighting clients at all.

[Lindsay Roman]

Right.

[Jamie Tobin]

It was just more like, I got there before you because you were still at the doctors. They knew a second shooter was coming, and then, like, random moments throughout the reception. I could take over and you could sit down.

[Lindsay Roman]

Totally. Which I think it's. If it's established it's like a second shooter, then that's. That's normal to have that.

[Jamie Tobin]

But, like. Yeah. And like, in our. In our mind, like, there was, I guess, moments, quote, unquote, I was lead shooter while you were taking a break. But, like, for client mind, the client's still taking care of both the photographers. Are there?

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah.

[Jamie Tobin]

Sorry if that sounded confusing for a second as we were bantering.

[Evie McLeod]

No, it didn't at all. I was just. I think my approach. I. I'm just like such a, like, blunt, honest person that I would just have directly told my clients, like, hey, I am super sick. I'm very early pregnant. Like, I am gonna. I will be there. I don't have problem. I'm going to the doctor, I'm getting prescription. I should be good to go. But I'm also bringing a, like, one of my best friends who is a full blown, like, photographer. And if there's a moment where, like, I. I'm not feeling good. Like, she's gonn. Like, I don't. My brain is just, like, I would.

[Alex McCrary]

Have just bared it all that.

[Lindsay Roman]

Would that have put worry in her mind unnecessarily, you think?

[Evie McLeod]

Possibly. But I would almost rather that maybe my brain goes to, like, what if I'm literally in the bathroom and I cannot, like, I cannot stand up. It is. I cannot stop throwing up, and I'm not out there for a key moment. I want my bride to almost understand that, like, I've already covered her bases. She's fine, even if I can't show up. So maybe that's just.

[Alex McCrary]

And I think it would have been that way had I been, like, I was able to, like, yeah. Take it easy, you know, Like, I wasn't, like, actively, like, throwing up down the aisle or anything like that.

[Evie McLeod]

Okay. I've literally heard stories like that, though, from pregnant, like, first trimester pregnant photographers who say, like, there have been moments where, like, literally, like, during the ceremony, they're rushing to the back to, like, puke behind a tree during the ceremony.

[Alex McCrary]

And that's where I'm like, like, I think I'm. Yeah, I. I don't know. If I tell myself I'm not gonna throw up. I try not to, but I am so used to, like, like, when I'm pregnant, I will throw up like that until I'm almost 30 weeks.

[Jamie Tobin]

People are going to hate me. I never had morning sickness ever.

[Evie McLeod]

Maybe not the time to say this.

[Jamie Tobin]

People are going to hate me. But I did have two C sections, people, so I feel like it balances out.

[Lindsay Roman]

You got your own. Yeah, you're on battles.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yes. Like, I got different battle scars. I just didn't have mornings like this.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay, this is kind of on the same topic. Did you guys strategically try to get pregnant so that you would have off season births? I heard a November. I heard a December. I heard a February.

[Evie McLeod]

Or did that just happen?

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah, I purposely try. Well, I tried to have off season babies. Mercer is my oldest and he's a February baby. And I thought in my mind, yeah, six weeks is fine. No, it's not. No, it's not.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

I.

[Alex McCrary]

We definitely planned out the time for our youngest, and that was the only one I really had to plan since I had had my older two. Um, but, yeah, we know that we want another one. And I'm like, I think I would aim for, like, December, but I also know that that's a hard thing too, because not everybody has the luxury of being able to plan out like that. So I think if you can't just knowing like knowing that you have people in your corner that you can lean on and people in the industry that are there to help you.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well.

[Jamie Tobin]

And like we even talked about how what we would do for an on season baby. Like for the most part I feel like the wedding season like everybody, everyone knows when it's normal wedding season. And like with my second he was a November baby. I was at the hospital the day like I was supposed to be at a wedding. But like I had an associate shooter that I trusted that this is my style. I extensive conversations, this is what I want, this is what I expect, this is what my clients expect. This is how I shoot. So like am I. I told my clients right away which ones might be affected by my second pregnancy and only one of my weddings was. But it's still like that was still a conversation I had with my clients up front early. My clients were the only ones that knew I was pregnant with my second for the longest. I didn't announce jet until I think 22 weeks. So people didn't even know I was pregnant. But I of course told my clients right away. They were the only ones that knew. And I was like, just so you know, I'm still going to be there, I'm still taking care of you. And then the one that had an assistant associate, I had absolutely no fear because I knew they were going to do exactly what I needed.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Alex McCrary]

I love it.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's good.

[Alex McCrary]

I love it.

[Lindsay Roman]

Wow.

[Evie McLeod]

So community communication with your clients and support team. Plan an off season baby if that's at all possible.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah. Which we're totally sensitive to the fact that like we both got lucky with being able to have off season babies and not everyone can do that. And that's why it's like if you can't do that, put your family first. We are definitely family first people. And, and like there's never feel scared.

[Alex McCrary]

To hand off a wedding either if you know that you are not capable of taking it. I. That's just one thing. Like if you can have somebody take over a wedding for you, that's an associate, that's great. Make sure that they have like worked with you your entire pregnancy or you've worked with them before. You know who they are, they know how you shoot, they know, they know the entire everything that's going on. Shooting the engagement if they can. Don't feel like you have to keep a wedding just for the sake of keeping it because that is somebody's wedding day. And if you know that they're in better hands with somebody else, pass it on.

[Jamie Tobin]

Well, and it's somebody's wedding day, but it's also money will come and go. Don't put your family on the back burner. Like, put your family first.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yep. So true.

[Evie McLeod]

It's so good.

[Lindsay Roman]

I found out I was pregnant with Eloise, I think, in September. No, it was October.

[Jamie Tobin]

I remember the Instagram post. No.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And. And I. I had, like, six weddings booked in, like, that next summer, and all of them were affected, and I was like, oh, I love.

[Evie McLeod]

I flew out for several.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah, you did. You did. Oh, so I had one flying out.

[Evie McLeod]

To Hawaii to shoot weddings.

[Lindsay Roman]

I had one on my due date. You shot.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, I did shoot one on your due date. And you didn't give birth. And I was so mad because I was like, I'll be here.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah, come Ellie's mom give me the baby. Literally.

[Lindsay Roman]

Oh, my gosh.

[Alex McCrary]

I love. A week passed with each My kids.

[Jamie Tobin]

Yeah, I was late for both of mine. Well, so the first one was unplanned C section. And I feel like me and Lindsay have, like, super similar stories for first birth situations.

[Lindsay Roman]

But then you go a month late too.

[Jamie Tobin]

I. So when I had Mercer, I think I was finally 41 day. 41 weeks and two days. And I was in labor for three days, fully dilated for, like, 12 hours. Oh, girl emergency C section at 2am and they ended up putting me under general because. Oh, trigger warning, birth story. No, but, like, they ended up putting me under general anesthesia because I felt, at present, everything. Oh, it was awful. Like, I was trying to get off the table. It was not good.

[Lindsay Roman]

Rough.

[Jamie Tobin]

I could laugh about it now.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

I was gonna say that's a little, like, trauma laugh, isn't it? It's like, ha ha ha.

[Jamie Tobin]

You're supposed to laugh. My best friend would laugh.

[Alex McCrary]

Oh, rough.

[Evie McLeod]

Oh, man.

[Jamie Tobin]

But, like, my second, like, I was planning for a vbac. It didn't happen. But, like, I was very happy and confident in that moment. Like, that we switched to another C section, and delivery was easier with the second one than with the first one, because the first one, my body went through everything. The second one, I. We walked into labor and delivery laughing like, I'm not in labor. Oh, I am in labor.

[Alex McCrary]

Yeah.

[Jamie Tobin]

And then we just like, can we just have a C section? I want to go home.

[Evie McLeod]

I love it. I've done this before. Let's. Let's do that.

[Jamie Tobin]

Like, can we. I just want to be done.

[Alex McCrary]

I love it.

[Lindsay Roman]

Oh, man.

[Evie McLeod]

So good. Okay.

[Alex McCrary]

Okay.

[Evie McLeod]

I know. I feel like we could talk about birth stories.

[Alex McCrary]

I know.

[Jamie Tobin]

I need to stop talking. Oh, my God.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, no, we. We just. There's so many different topics that we could.

[Evie McLeod]

Photography and all the things around photography. But you ladies have brought so much, and I'm sure our listeners are just loving the energy you girls bring and the perspectives and all the things. So where can our listeners, if they're like, I need more of these girls. I want to hear that. That pregnancy episode, like, all the things. Where can they learn from you, listen to you, follow along, all of it.

[Jamie Tobin]

Okay, so our podcast is Cameras and Car Seats, which we have. Our Instagram, it's at Cameras and Car Seats. And then if you want to just find me, it's Jamie Tobin photo. And then Alex. What? Yours. You have to do your tricky last name.

[Alex McCrary]

So mine is Alex McCrary Photography. Yeah, it's a. It's kind of a tongue twister, but, like. Yeah, McCrary.

[Evie McLeod]

Amazing.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, thank you, girls so much for being on the show, sharing your pizzazz and your just, like, funny personalities, along with just such wisdom and encouragement for other mamas out there, other photographers. I just. I got so much from your. Your just stories, and I know our listeners did as well. So thank you so much for being here. And we just. We love talking to you guys.

[Jamie Tobin]

No, thank you. It's been so much fun.

[Evie McLeod]

100%.