439: Evie’s Pregnancy Journey Part 2 - Actively Choosing Faith Fear

Summary

The Heart & Hustle Podcast – Episode 439: Evie’s Pregnancy Journey Part 2 - Actively Choosing Faith Over Fear

Hosts: Evie McLeod & Lindsay Roman
Release Date: July 1, 2025
Podcast Description:
A business and lifestyle podcast tailored for creative entrepreneurs, dreamers, and doers aiming to maximize their life. Hosts Evie McLeod and Lindsay Roman serve as supportive friends, offering practical tools and empowering truths to ignite listeners to pursue their God-given dreams. Episodes are released twice weekly, providing actionable tips to elevate both business and personal life while fostering laughter and encouragement.

---

Overview

In Episode 439, titled "Evie’s Pregnancy Journey Part 2 - Actively Choosing Faith Over Fear," hosts Evie McLeod and Lindsay Roman delve deeper into Evie’s personal journey of navigating her third pregnancy amid previous losses. The episode emphasizes the active choice of faith over fear, offering a powerful testimony of resilience, spiritual insight, and practical strategies for overcoming anxiety during pregnancy.

---

Continuation of Evie’s Pregnancy Story

[00:00 - 04:19] Setting the Stage

• Evie McLeod recaps the previous episode where she began sharing her pregnancy journey, which had to be cut short due to time constraints.
• Lindsay Roman and Evie introduce Part 2, focusing on Evie’s testimony of dealing with fear after experiencing two miscarriages and how she relies on faith to navigate her third pregnancy.

Evie’s Introduction to Fear:

“Today we're gonna continue with part two. I'm going to mostly be addressing and kind of sharing my testimony and my story in dealing with the fear after loss in my third pregnancy and kind of figuring out how to navigate that...”
— Evie McLeod [00:17]

---

Facing Fear with Faith

[04:19 - 19:35] The Onset of Fear and Divine Intervention

• Lindsay acknowledges the intense fears Evie faced upon discovering her pregnancy, especially with her history of miscarriages.
• Evie shares the immediate emotional turmoil, balancing joy with panic, and feeling God's presence affirming her pregnancy.

Notable Quote:

“...this is God. This is absolutely God. There's a positive pregnancy test here because of God. There's no other way this is possible.”
— Evie McLeod [07:53]

Scriptural Anchors:

• Psalm 27:13: Evie reflects on how this verse reinforced her faith during the initial days of her pregnancy.
• John 10:10: Encouraged her to speak "life and life abundantly" over her child.

---

Active Strategies to Overcome Fear

[19:35 - 35:00] Building a Fortress Against Fear

• Evie discusses her proactive measures to combat fear, emphasizing that it's not merely about passive faith but active engagement.
• Romans 8:6 & 8:11: These scriptures reinforced Evie’s commitment to focus on the Spirit rather than the flesh, declaring life and peace over her child.

Notable Quotes:

“...fear is the access point for the thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy.”
— Evie McLeod [16:19]

“...I cannot allow my mind to dwell on the past or the what ifs that partnering with fear.”
— Evie McLeod [22:16]

Practical Measures:

• Daily Prayer and Scripture: Evie emphasizes binding fear through prayer and declaring biblical truths over her pregnancy.
• Visual Reminders: Printing and displaying scriptures around her home to reinforce her faith continually.
• Selective Consumption: Limiting exposure to non-scriptural content to maintain a spiritually fortified environment.

---

Theological Insights on Fear and God’s Character

[35:00 - 51:50] Understanding Fear Through Faith

• Evie elaborates on the nature of fear as a tool used by the enemy to undermine faith.
• She delves into the theological distinction between fear’s temporary power and God’s eternal authority.

Notable Quotes:

“He has power, but he has no authority.”
— Evie McLeod [16:23]

“When our eyes are on the Lord, fear has no power.”
— Evie McLeod [38:53]

Addressing Anger Towards God:

• Evie discusses the complexity of feeling anger towards God in the face of tragedy, emphasizing understanding God’s character as one of life and redemption, not one that delights in suffering.
• She encourages seeking God even amidst anger, highlighting that turning away from Him only prolongs pain and hinders healing.

Notable Quote:

“If you think God is happy with a horrific, traumatic, you know, tragic scenario in your life that he is, like, up there just evil laughing over it... that is not the character of God.”
— Evie McLeod [51:50]

---

Practical Applications for Listeners

[51:50 - 67:36] Active Faith in Daily Life

• Evie and Lindsay discuss analogies to illustrate the necessity of active participation in faith, akin to maintaining a marriage or tending to a garden.
• Emphasis on responsibility and the importance of seeking God’s presence and blessings actively.

Key Takeaways:

• Active Engagement: Faith requires proactive steps—praying, reading scripture, and declaring God’s promises.
• Partnership with God: Just as a marriage requires effort, so does a relationship with God. Neglecting it can lead to missed blessings and prolonged hardships.
• Balanced Approach: Combining spiritual practices with practical measures (e.g., medical check-ups) ensures a holistic approach to overcoming fear.

Closing Encouragement:

“...there is so much available to us in, like, our walks with God, in our marriages, in our homes and our family and our children's lives and our businesses. There's so much available. It's an entire grocery store stocked with shelves and refrigerators and, like, all of this stuff. It is right there for us to just, like, take hold of.”
— Evie McLeod [64:35]

---

Conclusion

Episode 439 offers a heartfelt and profound exploration of Evie McLeod’s third pregnancy journey, highlighting the intense emotions of fear and the transformative power of active faith. Through personal anecdotes, scriptural references, and practical strategies, Evie provides listeners with a roadmap to overcoming fear by partnering with God, reinforcing the message that faith is both a personal and active endeavor.

Key Resources Mentioned:

• Bible Verses: Psalm 20:27-13; John 10:10; Isaiah 54; Romans 8:6, 8:11; Nehemiah 4, 6:9-15, 8:10
• Book Recommendation: God Is Good by Bill Johnson

Note: For a comprehensive understanding, listeners are encouraged to revisit Part 1 of Evie’s pregnancy journey and explore the referenced scriptures for deeper personal application.

---

Stay Connected:
For more insights, practical tips, and empowering conversations, subscribe to The Heart & Hustle Podcast on your favorite podcast platform and join Evie and Lindsay as they continue to inspire and support your entrepreneurial and personal growth journey.

Transcript

[Evie McLeod]

You're listening to the Heart and Hustle podcast. We are your hosts, Evie McLeod and Lindsay Roman. Welcome back to another episode. Today is going to be a continuation and a follow up of the last episode that we had with the solo shows.

[Lindsay Roman]

Basically two weeks ago is when it aired.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah. So sharing a little bit of my pregnancy journey. Last time we were recording we kind of ran out of time and I don't know how because we recorded for a good minute. But we didn't want to skimp on the God story of this pregnancy and the redemption and just the power of the Lord moving. So today we're gonna continue with part two. I'm going to mostly be addressing and kind of sharing my testimony and my story in dealing with the fear after loss in my third pregnancy and kind of figuring out how to navigate that, how God spoke to me, ministered to me. It's hopefully going to be very, very powerful. So I would encourage you whether you have gone through a loss yourself, you just want to hear a powerful testimony of the Lord at work or you just wanna be encouraged by God, have something to a friend, whatever. I just encourage you to listen to this episode. Hopefully it blesses you and encourages you in the Lord. Today, let's dive in.

[Lindsay Roman]

You started your business for a reason, huh? You're following your dreams because something deep, deep down inside your heart is on fire for it. And that's incredible.

[Evie McLeod]

But if you're still scratching your head on what the why behind your business really is and what keeps you going day to day and how the heck to share your heart with your clients and customers, to connect with them and to stand out in your industry, well.

[Lindsay Roman]

We'Ve got just the thing for you. We wanna help you find clarity and nail down your reasons why. And once you do this, it's a total game changer when running a business. Because once you know your why, that's when you're able to tackle your goals, actually succeed and keep that fire under your butt.

[Evie McLeod]

So if you're ready to get really honest with yourself and discover some really incredible life changing vision, snag our Determine youe why and how to Share it with your Follower's guide at theheartuniversity.com forward/why. Hey.

[Lindsay Roman]

Hey. I'm Lindsay Roman.

[Evie McLeod]

And I'm Evie McLeod and we are family and legacy focused serial entrepreneurs and the founders of the Hart University, a business education company with a mission to help you thrive in your business and life.

[Lindsay Roman]

Welcome to our Entrepreneur Cocktail hour where business and marketing strategies meet faith, Real talk and raw in life changing conversations.

[Evie McLeod]

At the end of the day, we are all in this together, figuring out how to navigate the ups and downs, the messy and the beautiful and everything in between. This is a community where you can come as you are, get inspired and walk away, equipped to build a legacy filled life.

[Lindsay Roman]

You're listening to the Heart and Hustle podcast. All right, Evie, we're back for part two because we y too long last time.

[Evie McLeod]

I will never apologize though for yapping about my God.

[Lindsay Roman]

100%. 100%. It was, it was so good. We wish we could have kept going, but obviously we. We did it right before a guest interview, so we had to stop. So that here we're back.

[Evie McLeod]

Yes.

[Lindsay Roman]

So when we left offed. When we, when we left offed. I can't talk.

[Evie McLeod]

I need something to the end of the off. You're like offed.

[Lindsay Roman]

You've said it like twice when we left off. Yes, you had. I think in the timeline of just where we. We were talking a lot about the God story of what God was ministering to you in the moment. I think if I'm remembering correctly, a few days after you found out, like basically the day you, you were pregnant, you tested your progesterone and then you shared a little bit about working with your napro. But then I think if I'm remembering correctly, you had talked about what God was ministering to you in those first few days of finding out you were pregnant.

[Evie McLeod]

It was, I think we kind of covered what God administered me the day I found out and the day after. It was like the first day in two.

[Lindsay Roman]

That was a lot. So for those first few days. So just buckle up. My question now is like, let's catch up to like, you're about halfway through pregnancy, maybe a little over, I don't actually know, so that's fine. But let's talk about like the story from. From basically finding out you were pregnant till now until now.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And. And just having experiences myself. And also for you, having multiple losses before this.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

I think one of the biggest questions that listeners are probably thinking. And also I'm thinking and I've like dealt with also. It was just like, how do you continue to have faith and believe like for life with this child and just deal with, I think the constant fear of like, is there a heartbeat? What's gonna. Like, will they be alive? Like, like, and not to be morbid, but that we're talking about.

[Evie McLeod]

It's. There's a lot of fear.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah. Like, so how did you.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, I'm so Glad. Let me grab my Bible.

[Lindsay Roman]

She's like, I'm so glad you asked.

[Evie McLeod]

I'm so happy we're discussing this. That is actually one of the next things that God had really like, like, powerfully spoken to me.

[Lindsay Roman]

Oh, perfect. It's as if we planned that question.

[Evie McLeod]

I mean, I did suggest that that would be a perfect leading question.

[Lindsay Roman]

It's as if we planned this episode strategically.

[Evie McLeod]

But also, let's just be real, like, God just. That was exactly what God did in the timeline that he did. Within like a day or two. It was just. It just happened. So. So I. I really shared at the beginning or the first part of this episode about which, by the way, if.

[Lindsay Roman]

You'Re popping on this episode and you're seeing that it's says part two, but for some reason you didn't go listen to part one. Go. You. You need to do your research. You need to do your homework before listening.

[Evie McLeod]

Okay, go listen to part one. There's a lot there that I think will. You'll need to.

[Lindsay Roman]

It's. You can't even miss it. It's two episodes before this one has aired.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, go listen to that one. So what I had shared on that one, I think mainly that God had really spoken to me was Psalm 20, 27:13. I believe that I shall look and see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the. L was like, a big part of the ministry that he gave to my heart in leading, like, after my second miscarriage and then finding out I was pregnant within, like 30 minutes. He Pretty much put that verse randomly in front of my eyes again when I flipped open my Bible to a random page and it was that verse. And then I shared a bit about, like, how he was encouraging me to pray and speak scriptures over this child and that he had given me John 10:10 specifically kept coming to my mind of, like, speaking and praying life and life abundantly over this child. So all of those, I think, is kind of where I left off. That's the. I think kind of the majority of, like, the spiritual, like, what God had shared with me. So today I wanted to share kind of the next piece of. I think it was the next day.

[Lindsay Roman]

We're going day by day, folks. That's where we're. That's where we're at.

[Evie McLeod]

It was. It hit so hard because in the question of, like, how do you deal with fear? Like, that is. I remember well, especially immediately upon finding out you're pregnant. I remember seeing those two lines on that test that I was not expecting to see. I was not like, prepared to see.

[Lindsay Roman]

Because just to piggyback it back to the first conversation you had, wanted to do all the tests and kind of find like, solution of why the miscarriages kept happening before you got pregnant again. And God was like, psych. You don't have full answers, but I'mma just hand you that.

[Evie McLeod]

Well, we've literally prayed and been like, God, if you have, if you don't want us to continue down this road of testing, like, you need to basically get us pregnant. And then I, he, he took me up on that.

[Lindsay Roman]

He's like, let me save you some money.

[Evie McLeod]

He took me up on that. So we, it just wasn't like, I'm not shocked in the sense that like, we'd given like that to God and he clearly just ran with it. But also it was shocked in the sense that like we were not expecting, preparing or trying in any way. And so like when it flipping that test and seeing those two lines, like the have video footage of it, my face literally.

[Lindsay Roman]

You have video? Have you shared that?

[Evie McLeod]

No.

[Lindsay Roman]

Have I seen my bi.

[Evie McLeod]

You've seen it. Okay, I shared it.

[Lindsay Roman]

I don't have any.

[Evie McLeod]

I think I shared it with you.

[Lindsay Roman]

I. To be perfectly honest, all of your pregnancies blur together. So I don't, I don't know. Not to be like. But also, it's kind of horrible. But like, also, I also. Whenever you told me this one was when I was sick.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

But there was the other one. I think I was in the car. I can't remember where I was. The first one.

[Evie McLeod]

You were in your office on the first one in Kansas, I think.

[Lindsay Roman]

Oh, wild. Was I?

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

I have no recollection of that.

[Evie McLeod]

Andrew like walked in and because we were on FaceTime and he goes, oh, congrats and walks out. And I was like, I fully expected Andrew to be way more psyched about a baby anyways. Okay, there's a baby fiend. Anyways.

[Lindsay Roman]

You have video footage of you seeing the lines for the first time.

[Evie McLeod]

I mean, my jaw just hit the floor. My eyes literally went like bug eyed. And you can see it in the video. Obviously I was feeling it in the moment, but I feel like you can see it in the video. There is just like, like such an absolute war across my face of like joy and panic. And like, you can see the fear that is immediately starting to like, hit me because I'm just like, oh my gosh, I'm about to do this again because this was like two months after my second loss. So I just walked through it, like, this process again. And I was like. Immediately my human mind was like, oh, frick, here we go again. Like, we haven't gotten answers. Like, I'm about to do this all over again. And it was just like, so much fear, so much panic, while there was also this feeling of, like, this knowledge that, like, God was in it. And there was like. I knew. I was like, this is God. This is absolutely God. There's a positive pregnancy test here because of God. There's no other way this is possible.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like, you were not trying.

[Evie McLeod]

No. There is no other way physically, to this day that it makes sense to us.

[Lindsay Roman]

Will you celibate? No. So it's possible.

[Evie McLeod]

And precautions were very carefully taken. For the first time, kind of in.

[Lindsay Roman]

Our marriage, does everyone who's got pregnant.

[Evie McLeod]

After, like, a few years of marriage where you're kind of a little bit like, if it happens, it happens, like, prevent, but, like, you know, whatever. And then the month that we were, like, two months that we were, like, intensely, like, we are being so proactive to, like, not get pregnant this month. That's the month we just get pregnant.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah, that's gone.

[Evie McLeod]

That was just crazy to us. So it was kind of wild. But anyways, I. That I felt that fear, so it makes sense. The first few days, God just started, like, pounding me with, like, here's this truth declare this. Declare life. Like, you declare that you will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Like, all of that was just, like, hitting me. And then I think it was either that Sunday or Monday. So within two or three days of finding out I was pregnant, I was going for a walk. And I often will listen to worship or a sermon on a walk. And on this day, I was like, I feel like I'm going to, like, listen to a sermon. And I felt the Lord very strongly tell me to listen to a very specific sermon that I had listened to, like, two months before.

[Lindsay Roman]

I think you shared this on the last episode.

[Evie McLeod]

I don't think I did.

[Lindsay Roman]

Time will tell. Did I. I think I'm. I'm like, 90. Sure you did. I'm.

[Evie McLeod]

Did I read it?

[Lindsay Roman]

I think so. I think we've covered all of this, but. But I think it's out. Hey, we're gonna really test your knowledge if you listen to the first episode.

[Evie McLeod]

I didn't. I didn't listen to the whole episode again. I refreshed my memory this morning. I didn't listen to the whole thing.

[Lindsay Roman]

But, like, it's fine. It's fine. You can Redo it. Redo it.

[Evie McLeod]

If this is a repeat, you're. You needed to hear it.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

That's the only reason it would make sense, because I would listen to a lot of that episode to refresh myself on what I'd covered, and I really didn't think this was in here. So if it is, you needed to hear it. God. God kept that from my ears so that somebody else was to hear this again today. So I went for a walk, and there was a sermon that I had listened to before that really spoke a lot. It was a lot out of Isaiah 54. Did I cover this? I don't know if I did.

[Lindsay Roman]

Just keep talking, and I'm letting go. It's gonna.

[Evie McLeod]

Noah's saying no. Noah's shaking his head no. So maybe I'm high. Also, I shared stuff. I shared stuff on Instagram, so I wonder if you read that.

[Lindsay Roman]

No, no. You told me this story before.

[Evie McLeod]

Everything. Yeah. You've heard this multiple times. I just swear no one's saying no, so I'm just rolling with it.

[Lindsay Roman]

Go, go, go.

[Evie McLeod]

Okay. So Isaiah 54 had been really powerful for me for, like, a couple of months, like, kind of after the. Miss the second miscarriage. And a big part of it, the chapter starts off with, like, sing, oh, Baron 1. And you who did not, like, has not been in labor. It was, like, very, like, direct and intense. But in the sermon, the pastor kind of covers a little bit of that, and he covers the section on that that talks about, like, expand the place of your tent. Like, widen your tent pegs. Like, basically, prepare for your miracle. Prepare for the expansion. Prepare for the child.

[Lindsay Roman]

Incorrect. This is an old sermon.

[Evie McLeod]

This is an old sermon. This is sermon from, like, 2017.

[Lindsay Roman]

And why that one?

[Evie McLeod]

I had literally. I had just been going through old sermons from, like, one of my, like, favorite pastors, okay. Who, like, blesses me on some walks. And I was just going through random ones and just, like, clicking on them and, like, got it.

[Lindsay Roman]

So you just scrolling to 2017, and this was back.

[Evie McLeod]

Granted. This was like, I'm kind of jumping back in time. This was, like, within a few weeks of my second miscarriage that I'd first listened. Re. Listened to the sermon, like, from 2017. And God had really blessed me with the concept of preparing for my miracle.

[Lindsay Roman]

Got it.

[Evie McLeod]

And Lynn and I had both, like, both listened to it, were both really blessed by it. Landon listened to it twice, I think, in one day to, like, really consume because there was so much in it. And so I'd like, we'd already had conversations. I'd felt God encouraging us to prepare for our miracle. And, like, one of the things that I did was, like, I started actually thrifting baby items. And I'd never really let myself do that before because I was like, I don't. I just want to wait until I'm, like, pregnant. And then, you know, after multiple losses, I was like, I'm going to wait until I'm, like, halfway before I start thrifting stuff. And God was just like, no. Like, that's an act of faith. Like, that's a declaration of faith. So through that whole sermon, it had blessed and ministered to me a lot.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

So then two days, three days after I find out I'm pregnant with my third pregnancy, and I'm kind of like, okay. Like, I'm going for a walk. I was like, okay, I'm gonna listen to a sermon. And God goes, I want you to listen to that one again. And I was like, okay, maybe this is gonna be, like, a really good reminder about, like, preparing for this miracle. Like, maybe I need to hear that again, knowing that I'm pregnant. So I go and replay the episode and what's happening. So funny is it was such a meaty. It was so good. It was such a meaty, like, sermon that it was not. God did not at all want me to listen to anything about preparing for my miracle. He wanted me to listen to a part that I do not remember hearing the first time I listened.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, isn't that awesome that you can listen to the same thing? Or. I feel like with the Bible, even you can read the same verse, and depending on the season of life or what God's teaching you in that season, it.

[Evie McLeod]

It just speaks to you, like, completely differently. It's insane. So I said there was a statement in here about fear, So I. Isaiah 54:14. Hang on. I'm gonna pull this up so I can actually quote it properly.

[Lindsay Roman]

We're getting. We're getting Bible teacher Evie coming out to play.

[Evie McLeod]

Just don't.

[Lindsay Roman]

Let's go.

[Evie McLeod]

Don't. Don't make me start talking about my God, because I'm gonna go off. Isaiah 54:14 says, in righteousness, you shall be established. You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not. And from terror, for it shall not come near you. And then it kind of like dives into other things. But in the sermon, the pastor breaks it down and says. It does not say, you will be far from oppression, therefore you shall not fear. It says, you are not afraid, and therefore you will Be far from oppression.

[Lindsay Roman]

Wait, can you read the verse again?

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, the verse says, you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear.

[Lindsay Roman]

Basically saying, because you're not fearing, you are far from oppression.

[Evie McLeod]

Yes.

[Lindsay Roman]

Sorry, did I. I'll just shut up.

[Evie McLeod]

Well, I mean, that's what I just read, but, yeah, I love that you.

[Lindsay Roman]

I just. I just really wanted to, like, soak it in and understand.

[Evie McLeod]

Okay. It does not say, you will be far from oppression, therefore you shall not fear. That's not what it says. It says, you are not afraid, and therefore you will be far from oppression. So fear.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's a very distinct difference, isn't that?

[Evie McLeod]

So he goes. He speaks on. He says, fear is the access point for the thief who comes to steal, kill, and Destroy. Hmm. John 10:10. Anyone? Anyways, what I fear has come upon me. Which is a quote from job three. 25, literally, fear is the access point.

[Lindsay Roman]

What I fear has come upon me.

[Evie McLeod]

It's Job.

[Lindsay Roman]

Fear is the access point.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, fear is the access point. The thief frequently enters through the open door of fear. Fear is an agreement with the accuser, the intimidator, the one who mocks, he manipulates with words. He accuses. And this is a direct quotation, so bear with me. He accuses, intimidates, and tries to cause fear through any of these tools. And whenever I make an agreement with him, I empower him. Whenever you believe the lie, you empower the liar. When you listen to or receive the words of the accuser, then you actually come under the shame of sin, as if you had actually sinned because you are making an agreement. He has no authority. You have the authority. So when I agree with him, I have lended him my authority. To be clear, he has power, but he has no authority. So when he accuses the enemy. Yeah, yeah, like, he has. He has some power. He has no authority. Right. On the earth. And he has no power compared to God. But there is, you know, you can't be like, oh, the enemy is just, like, weak and nothing. No, he has power, but he has no authority unless we give it to him. Yeah, God has all authority on heaven and earth now, right? He's taken it back from the enemy at the cross, right? Going, I'm going off.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay.

[Evie McLeod]

So when he accuses, when he brings up your past, anytime you revisit the events of the past, apart from the blood.

[Lindsay Roman]

And Jesus was like, quote, this is you journaling, or. This is a quote from the sermon.

[Evie McLeod]

This is a quote from the sermon. This is all direct quotation from the Sermon.

[Lindsay Roman]

He was attacking you that morning.

[Evie McLeod]

Whenever you revisit the events of the past apart from the blood of Jesus, you subject yourself to a spirit of deception because you are visiting something that no longer exists in the condition that you remember it. So it is only legal to perceive our past through the blood of Jesus. Otherwise we visit a deception.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay, I'm gonna need some breaking down of that last part there. What is he. He's saying that when you revisit something in the past, it's no longer true.

[Evie McLeod]

There is. Especially when you revisit the events of the past because we have been cleansed. Our past, our sins are like everything in the past has been cleansed by the blood of Jesus. When we go back and re. Revisit something apart from the redemption of Jesus, there is. We are revisiting a mirage, something that no longer exists.

[Lindsay Roman]

But I have a. You're talking about that in the scheme of sin.

[Evie McLeod]

Yes, but there's still. There's still elements of truth in it, in events. Events. Like things.

[Lindsay Roman]

It affects all events in the world. Because, like.

[Evie McLeod]

Like, for example, I'm revisiting the miscarriages of my past apart from the blood of Jesus, because viewing those as, like, fact, fact and, like, going to happen.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like a statement like, oh, because this happened in the past, this will now happen in the future.

[Evie McLeod]

Yes. And I'm revisiting it apart from the blood of Jesus. Right. Apart from the power of Jesus. The. The healing, the cleansing, everything of Jesus.

[Lindsay Roman]

It's like you're almost having to actively forget the truths of who God is in order to believe that something had to happen in the past. Will. Will automatically is.

[Evie McLeod]

Is my future.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay.

[Evie McLeod]

So that was like the whole. And then he, like, ties it in.

[Lindsay Roman]

I need to drop the link to that sermon. Like, because if you don't, everyone. Everybody will ask.

[Evie McLeod]

It's. It's so good.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's so good.

[Evie McLeod]

He goes, this is. That's the whole deal. He says, God says, you will be far from oppression, for you shall not fear because you don't fear. Oppression can't attach itself to you. And I literally wrote in my journal, I said, yowza. That hit me like a ton of bricks.

[Lindsay Roman]

You're just like, casually walking down the street.

[Evie McLeod]

Well, yeah, yeah. Literally, like. And what's so funny is I'd freaking listen to that sermon like a month and a half, maybe two months before. That part had not hit me whatsoever.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, I bet it didn't hit you at that, because that's after a miscarriage where it's like, at that point, fear isn't necessarily like, yeah, but you would.

[Evie McLeod]

Think that I would be like, oh, God, that's so good. Don't choose. Don't partner with me.

[Lindsay Roman]

I bet your mindset is like, because you're in a grief season fear, like the thing that you fear has already happened.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

So it's like you're not really focusing on fear. You're more so focusing on, like.

[Evie McLeod]

And this was like, literally maybe like a three minutes out of like an hour sermon. Like, this was like a pocket where, like, he talked about like, so many other things.

[Lindsay Roman]

How do pastors do that? Like, I just don't understand.

[Evie McLeod]

I literally.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's amazing.

[Evie McLeod]

It hit me so hard. So I wrote that hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel so strongly that God was strongly and clearly telling me to not allow fear a stronghold or an access point in my heart or mind in this pregnancy, that I am not only to fight for this child and declare life over them, but I cannot give fear a single moment. So I think it was later that night I was spending time with God again in like prayer and worship. And I was journaling stuff like in that God had spoken to me. And I started to read our Bible study book that we've been reading, which is like the names of God. And it mentioned Romans 8. 6. And I had just read that a week or so before, but it didn't hit me again until right after listening to that sermon. So Romans 8. 6 says, for to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the spirit is life and peace. And I said, okay, God, double confirmation of my conviction from this morning. I cannot allow my mind to dwell on the past or the what ifs that partnering with fear. I must keep my mind fixed on the Lord and declare life over this baby. And then verse 11 from Romans also was like, jumped out of the page and like smacked me across the face. And it says, if the spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his spirit who dwells in you. Right. I know.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's amazing.

[Evie McLeod]

I said, wow, Lord. Wow. Help me slam the door on fear. Help me battle for this child's life. I believe and receive your healing for my body and this child as a result. Thank you. That I will carry this child full term. And they will know and walk in, walk with you on this earth. And then I remember that night. I same like same evening the night the Day that God kind of, like, smacked me and was like, you cannot allow fear. I remember I was. I stood up right after journaling all of that, and I was, like, holding my Bible again and, like, reading and, like, speaking. And I felt really strongly like God was like, I want you to declare testimonies. Like, start speaking the testimony, testimonies of my healing. And, like, my spirit's power kind of like pulling from, like, Romans 8:11 of, like, the spirit who raised Christ from the dead. Like, that spirit's alive and moving in my life and in my body and this child. And so I started, like, I was just speaking like, God, you raised Lazarus from the dead. You, you know, did this. This. You saved Daniel from the lion's den. Like, I was just, like, declaring these, like, scriptural miracles that God had performed. And the one that kind of hit me, like, so hard was the woman who was bleeding for, like, 30 years. Is that right? And she touched the hem of Jesus's garment. And that faint touch, but with such an act of faith, like, she. She literally had the faith to know that if I can just scrape the edge of his garment, I will be healed. Like, I'm sorry.

[Lindsay Roman]

Right?

[Evie McLeod]

So she touched it. So that was. It was one of those things that God was like, if you can have that level of faith, even just, like, if your fingertips scrape, like, the surface of my truth and my power, like, that healing is available to you. And so for me, at least, moving, like, forward into this pregnancy, there was so much. And there were so many scriptures that I could, like, unpack that God spoke to me. Which one of them I'll give, but. But it was all an understanding. Like, that was my moment of understanding. Obviously, to operate and live and, like, cower in fear, I knew was like, not, you know, not. Not God, not great. But I am so thankful that within, like, three days of finding out I was pregnant, God was like, no, you don't understand. I need you to build a fortress, a wall against fear. You cannot allow it to, like, enter and access, because that gives such an access point for the enemy. And you're not supposed to live in fear. And I think I wrote. When I wrote, like, a little synopsis of our story on Instagram, I think I wrote that the enemy has absolutely come knocking in this pregnancy. Like, the fear has come knocking. Like, I don't want to pretend and be like, I've never once had a moment of, like, questioning if my baby was okay. Like, no, that. Like, the. That's come knocking. But I have never allowed it to cross the threshold.

[Lindsay Roman]

What does that practically mean, though? Like.

[Evie McLeod]

Like, yeah. Like, in the moments when I feel like, is my baby okay? Or, like, what if X is happening? Or Y, or whatever, I immediately turn to Scripture. I immediately turn to prayer and to the Lord. And I, first and foremost, practically, one of the things I do is I bind fear. And I say, like, I bind you in the name of Jesus. By the blood of Jesus, we are protected. This is. You know, my mind will be set on the things above. And, like, I cast out any strongholds, any, like, whispers of the enemy. Like, you have no place and access in my mind and in my heart. So that's, like, one of the things. And then I'll go through and I'll, like, start speaking Scripture and I'll start saying, like, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of living. Like, God comes to bring life and life abundantly. So I'm speaking that over this child. I believe, you know, like, all of the verses. There's so many. Psalm 23, like, so many verses that I could literally give a list. Nehemiah. There's a million, which I'll get to in a second. But I would come back to the scripture and I would pray them, I would read them. I would literally. There were multiple times in the first trimester, especially when I would have to literally sit down because I would have a moment of, like, oh, my symptoms feel less today. Or, you know, something would, like, kind of freak me out for a second, and I'd be like, all right. No. Is in my Bible. And I would be in my Bible for an hour or two until I felt that release of, like, I'm good. I feel my faith rising again. I feel confidence again. I do not. Like, there is no. I'm so shored up. And, like, my rocks, the little ones that were, like, tumbling down again on my fortress are, like, put back in place with some.

[Lindsay Roman]

It's like, you're not letting yourself succumb to.

[Evie McLeod]

No.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like, the despair of fear.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And sit in like.

[Evie McLeod]

Like.

[Lindsay Roman]

But, like, again, giving that enemy the access point.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Or the enemy the access point of, like, oh, something's wrong. I'm going to sit there and then believe.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Or just expect. Because I feel like even expecting something to happen.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Also is. Is giving the enemy that access to fear.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And I. I love that you. Because I feel like, when people ask this question of, like, oh, hey, how do you have faith? Or how do you just, like, be positive or not fear in a pregnancy when you've had multiple losses or even just one. I feel like people usually are like, like, the answer is like, oh, just like, well, they either go the practical route of like, get a Doppler, which, that, that's great too. But like, but also I feel like a lot of people are like, well, just have faith. Yeah, but I feel like you gave such like a practical and active.

[Evie McLeod]

Like, here's how to fight back.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yes. It's not like you're just sitting here like, oh, we'll just have faith again. Yes, yes, do that. But like you, it's like, no, it's very active.

[Evie McLeod]

Yes.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like, there are tangible things. Like you would worship. You would sit down and you would read the Bible and you would like intercede and pray and like, speak the truths out loud.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like, you even like printed things out in your home and put them on the walls. And it's like that I think can give somebody that might be in the same position of like, maybe they've had losses in the past and they're sitting there like, I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do? How do I, like, practically, how do I not let the enemy win? I feel like you've given people like, like, it's like, no, it's not just a passive, like, oh, I hope that doesn't happen. Like, God, please help me. It's like, yeah, ask him that. But like, also it's like, no, it is a fight.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And like, you've given very practical things.

[Evie McLeod]

Well, that was, that was the thing for me is I felt like, yes, at the end of the day, like, it's not about me and my strength and my like, works. It's. It's God's power and his.

[Lindsay Roman]

Oh, yeah. Because that could sound very works based. No.

[Evie McLeod]

Well, yeah, but whatever. We all know what you mean. And like, what. Yeah, I've meant. But it, there is a, a responsibility which kind of ties back to like what I was sharing at like the last episode. There is like, I have a part to play. I'm not a puppet in this.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

And like, God wants me to partner with him and I'm, oh, this could, this could come across wrong. This could rub people the wrong way. Theology corner, in my opinion. And again, bear with me. I'm not, I haven't, I haven't really like fleshed this out and like drafted this and critiqued this. And it's not the way.

[Lindsay Roman]

I love unhinged at the saying this.

[Evie McLeod]

I am either partnering in my life with God or with the enemy. Like, and I'm either partnering with God and, like, my authority, slash his authority, like, partnering with his power, or I'm partnering and giving my authority to the enemy to have access and authority in my life. So, like, like, and that goes for almost anything. Like, that goes over my marriage and, like, you know, my business. And, like, if I'm not. If I'm not actively, like, there's. There's just elements, like decisions, like business decisions that could be made out of fear that are the wrong decision that I'm choosing because I'm listening to the voice of fear and lack and selfishness and greed and jealousy, which is just part with the enemy. So that's what I mean by that. So in something like this, I'm like, I have a role to play in the sense that when that fear comes knocking, I don't just, like, I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna slam the door in his effing face, I'm gonna lock it, and then I'm going to, like, deadbolt it, bar it, and, like, stand there and make faces at him through the window. You know what I mean? Right.

[Lindsay Roman]

But the practical ways to do that.

[Evie McLeod]

Are I will say prayer time in the word, reminding yourself of God's truth, God's promises. And then I felt this very strongly. Through any season that I' through, whether it's grief or I'm fighting fear or there's an actual, like. Like spiritual warfare for somebody's salvation or healing or, like, whatever it is, I am very, very careful of what I consume. Like, when I mentioned, like, I listened to a sermon on my walk or worship in. In a season where I really feel. And I also just feel this is just powerful in general. And, like, as a believer, but especially in a season where, like, you feel like there's any form of battle going on, healing, or, like, yeah, there's. There's attack or you're grieving and you're processing and stuff like that, I'm very careful with what I consume. So in seasons, like, through this pregnancy, through miscarriages, through, you know, so many other, like, difficult business decisions, nine times out of 10, I will completely cut off any podcasts.

[Lindsay Roman]

Music that's non.

[Evie McLeod]

That's not scriptural. Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Resource.

[Evie McLeod]

It's not like, worship or sermon. Like, even though, oh, hey, I may enjoy, like, a Sabrina Carpenter here and there, or like, a song here or there. Or, like, sidebar. Well, you know what I mean, like, normally, right?

[Lindsay Roman]

It doesn't mean that you're like, a nun and you can't enjoy, like, music.

[Evie McLeod]

Well, yeah, but I'm also just because like in a season where I feel I'm shored up and things feel good and I feel great, like I might listen to, you know, I don't know, Harry Styles or Sabrina Carpenter or something like that. In a season where I feel like I'm there's a battle happening of some sort.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like let's not waste an opportunity to like listen to something I am just.

[Evie McLeod]

Like I am surrounding. Like my armor is up and it is fully up and there is. I do not want any outside voices input that is not directly from God coming into like my heart and mind. And like when I even say that I'm like if I hadn't been doing that, like would I have listened to that sermon the first time or the second time? And like God speaks so strongly through the things like I remember the song had just come out. Even if I walk from Bethel Music, which is like she had wrote Hannah apologies. Hannah Claire had written that after a miscarriage. Wait, really? I don't know if you knew that.

[Lindsay Roman]

I did not know that.

[Evie McLeod]

Is your workflow for your clients all over the freaking place is stuff falling through the cracks and you feel so overwhelmed trying to stay on top of client communication? Don't worry, we have all been there. If that is you, you have to hear about the best investment we have ever made into our business. HoneyBook a client relationship management software. It is an all in one project management tool that is designed specifically for creative entrepreneurs.

[Lindsay Roman]

When I tell you it streamlines everything and gives me my life back, I am not kidding. Integrated inquiry forms, client workflow and automations, contracts, invoicing, calendar integration. They also have templates, brand customization abilities and an app so you can send invoices and emails while you're on the go.

[Evie McLeod]

Honeybook gives you the ability to streamline everything for an excellent client experience directly from your fingertips. So you no longer have to spend 247 working in your business and you can get back to living your life instead.

[Lindsay Roman]

We promise Honeybook will revolutionize your business the way it has ours. In addition to a free seven day trial, we have an exclusive offer for our podcast listeners. 35% off the first two years. All you have to do is go to share.honeybook.comheart and claim your discount. That's share.honeybook.com heart or you can check out the link in our show notes.

[Evie McLeod]

Hello, I wanted to interrupt this episode really quick to remind you that we have an apparel shop with heart filled pieces. See what we did there that we have designed with you in mind.

[Lindsay Roman]

In the shop, we've got T shirts, crop tops, sweatshirts, mugs, hats, and more, all created with comfy and cute designs that you can rock in your everyday life.

[Evie McLeod]

This collection is for you if you love the show and want to share it with your friends in a cool way. Or if you want to wear something cute as heck that was intentionally designed with powerful phrases to remind you that you can do it. You were made to be a world changer and that the Lord created you wildly capable of big freaking things.

[Lindsay Roman]

Now, Obvi, this is a podcast and we can't show you how cute as heck these pieces are on the show. So run, don't walk to the heart shop to check out our apparel and more. You can head to www.theheartuniversity.com apparel to grab your favorite pieces today day.

[Evie McLeod]

So that song came out.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's amazing.

[Evie McLeod]

Within, like, I think, like, a week or two of my second loss and because I was just, like, gobbling up worship at that time, like, I immediately heard that song and was immediately wrecked by it and, like, so, you know, but it's like, it's one of those things that I'm like, I want to be consuming the things of the spirit. So that's a big thing. But that ties in really beautifully with kind of the last thing that I would say. Unless there's more you can ask.

[Lindsay Roman]

No, I have a question that's looming in my spirit, but I can wait till. I can wait.

[Evie McLeod]

Wait. Okay, let me. I don't know if this will answer.

[Lindsay Roman]

It, but probably not. But it's great.

[Evie McLeod]

A fun.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, maybe it will.

[Evie McLeod]

Fun God. Who knows? God's crazy. A fun little God. Like, sidebar. Is that prior which I could. I could tell you the amount of things that God had been speaking to me or encouraging me in, like, months prior to me finding out I was pregnant, that I circled back, was able to be like, wait. He was preparing me. Like, I. Oh, my gosh, so much stuff. But one of them was Nehemiah. I kept feeling like God was telling me to read Nehemiah, and I was like, this is. I mean, no offense to Nehemiah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Wacky book God.

[Evie McLeod]

It's not a wacky book.

[Lindsay Roman]

But, like, wacky's not the right description. I mean, random. Yeah, random. It's not the Psalms. It's not what you're going to.

[Evie McLeod]

It's not the Romans. It's not Ephesians. It's not, you know, it's not the books that. And I was. I'm I'm reading through, like, Old Testament, New Testament at the same time. But like, Nehemiah's big jump from where I was at the time. Yeah, it was like, way ahead. But I. I kept being like. Cause there were multiple. It was a whole God thing of how he kept reminding me to do it. Multiple sermons, multiple, like, stories that people would say of, like, randomly pulling something out of Nehemiah. And I was like, God's telling me to study Nehemiah for months leading up to this pregnancy, like, finding out about this pregnancy. And I just kept being like, I don't. I don't understand. And I've read through Nehemiah in the last, like, I don't know, six plus months, 35 times. Like, I've gone through it over and over and there's been good things in it. Absolutely. But I didn't connect the dots of what it was until after I found out I was pregnant. Within, like, I think it was like a month or two into this pregnancy. So it was even like, into this pregnancy. I kept feeling like God was telling me to. To read more and more. One of them was Nehemiah 4. Some little things. I'm going to share the little things and then it'll kind of come together in, like, the big thing.

[Lindsay Roman]

Great.

[Evie McLeod]

We love Nehemiah 4, verse 14 says, and this also was a sermon. This was something that God. I was like. When I heard that sermon in this verse, I was like, oh, my gosh, God's connecting dots. It says, the whole verse says, and I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of the people, this is as they're rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem and their enemies are kind of like coming up against them. I looked, arose, and said to the nobles and the officials and the rest of the people, do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughter, wives, and your homes. And that reading, that verse reminded me of a sermon I had heard from the same pastor. Ironically, maybe not ironically, years before, years before, like, I'm talking maybe eight years ago, I heard the sermon. And this part has stuck with me ever since. When our eyes are on the Lord, like this verse says, do not be afraid. Remember the Lord. When our eyes are on the Lord, we cannot fear holds no power. It has no. It has no. Know, it's. It's kind of like the boogie monster in the closet. And like when you turn on the light, you see it's just a coat and you look at it and you're like, that's just a crappy rundown hole filled old.

[Lindsay Roman]

It has no power of you moldy coat.

[Evie McLeod]

Like, you look at it in the face when you remember the Lord. Like, when your eyes are on the Lord, fear has no power. So that was a verse that I remembered. And then I was also kind of encouraged with the second part that says, like, remember the Lord who is great and awesome and fight, fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your homes. And I felt like that was God encouraging me as well to like, hey, pick up your, you know, your arms. And like, like, this is a battle. Like, I want you in. In this battle with me. Fight with me. And then Nehemiah 6, verse 9 says, for they wanted to frighten us, thinking their hands will drop from the work and it will not be done. But now, oh, God, strengthen my hands. And that was something that I was also encouraged in. Like, oh, like, fear. The enemy's trying to frighten me and tell me, like, you're gonna lose this baby, too, and, like, whatever. And, like, thinking that I will give up and stop fighting for this baby, but I won't. Like, so, God, strengthen my hands. And then I think it's 6:15 says, when our enemies had heard all of it, the nations around us were afraid and fell greatly on their own, fell greatly in their own esteem, for they perceived that this work had been accomplished with the help of our God. And then 8, 10 says, and do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. And I felt very encouraged in, like, the joy of the Lord. So it was little things that I was, like, reading through. And I was like, okay, like, God, I'll take tidbits. Like, this is really good. Like, little, like, tidbits and encouragements. And, like, you know, remember the Lord, and the joy of the Lord is my strength. And, like, you know, I can't give up and, you know, whatever. So I was like, this is great. I literally kept feeling him like, keep reading, keep reading, keep reading. And I was like, okay, I don't understand. Like, there's little tidbits, but, like, why am I still reading this book over and over? Like, I don't get it. It's a good book. I'm not dissing on Nehemiah, but it wasn't until like, a month or two into this pregnancy that I read through it again. And this section hit me. And it kind of connected the dot of which you might already be like, oh, this dot Connected for me. But I was like, no, God wanted to give me this. And I was very dense and didn't get it until a month or two into this pregnancy. Literally months after reading this book, repeated. Um, and it is Nehemiah 4, 16, 17. And it says, from that day on, half of my servants worked on construction and half held the spears, shields, bows, and coats of mail. And the leaders stood behind the whole house of Judah who were building on the wall. Those who carried burdens were loaded in such a way that each labored on the work with one hand and held his weapon in the other. And it hit me in that moment with this, like, chapter, which you might already be like, I kind of figured this out, Evie, didn't you? God was. I felt so strongly. God was like, I wanted you to not only get the tidbits out of Nehemiah, but that concept that I was to labor with one hand, like, to. To grow this child, to prepare, you know, for birth for a child. Like, tie up all the loose ends and, like, my business, prepare for maternity leave. Like, I was to labor with one hand, like, fighting for this child and everything, while having, like, my weapon ready at all times. Times, like, this pregnancy was the one where I was building the wall, like, building, working, whatever, while my weapon, it says, loaded in such a way that each labored on the work with one hand and held his weapon with the other. And it was like, God was like, you are double fisting, like, your work, your pregnancy, your life, and your, like, weapon with me in this, like, season. Do not, like, don't fully turn to your work because you. You're vulnerable and, like, but yet you still have to, like, I can't just be, like, in my Bible all day, every day. Like, I still have to live my life. So it was like, this encouragement of the Lord being, like, have a weapon in one hand at all time in a season, which kind of ties in. You might be like, yeah, that makes sense. That's a great analogy for what we were just talking about. But it took me months to figure it out of God being, like, fight with one hand and build with the other. And that, for me, was, like, so powerful through this pregnancy. So when the question of, like, how do you deal with fear? Like, I have a weapon in my hand at all time, and the minute I feel, like, the question, the doubt, the panic, the what if, whatever, you know, pop into my head, I'm like, I'm slicing that to pieces. Like, I'm shredding that. I'm slamming the door in the enemy's face. And I'm diving into scriptures and reminders. And I loved that you pointed out, out that I have printed stuff all over my house because that was another practical thing is, like, I printed out a lot of the scriptures that God had spoken to me over this pregnancy, and they were, like, all over my home. Right.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, you're doing things that are active, that are putting them in front of your face at all times.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And in your spirit, in your heart, in your earbuds.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

All of it.

[Evie McLeod]

And I will say it's probably. It's probably just me and being like, oh, the further I've gotten into this pregnancy, like, the more, like, peace I've felt, which would make sense. Like, as I'm like, oh, I'm, you know, way into second trimester, like on third trimester or whatever it is, like, you do start to feel a little bit more, like, secure than that. Like, kind of scary first trimester in some ways. But the more I've held on to the God's truth and promises, the less I've needed to. It's not an uphill battle for me to hold on to these anymore. Does that make sense?

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

Like, I'm not fighting upstream. Like, I kind of feel like the beginning of the pregnancy, the first, like, few weeks especially, I felt like it was an upstream battle. Like, I was fighting against the current of all the fear that, like, was wanting to, like, take hold of me and, like, take control. And I feel like now I'm on, like, a lazy river in, like, an inner tube, and I'm just floating with, like, the Lord and I'm just, like, I'm restraining on these promises. Like, there's. It's not. The battle is not. Not, like, hard anymore. If I'm not to say that there still aren't moments and there still aren't. Like, I'm still declaring life over this child every single day. I'm still praying over this baby and, like, you know, their. Their future and my birth and, like, everything. My labor, delivery, like, all of these things, I'm still, like, fighting for and interceding for and, like, you know, choosing to partner with the Lord on. But it doesn't. It doesn't feel like I'm in the heat of battle anymore. I kind of feel like I'm just like, like, resting and partnering outside of, like, the heat of battle, if that makes sense. So I don't know if that's encouraging to some of, like, it does get better. But, like, at least for me, it Did I, like, got to a place where I was so confident in the Lord and I got further along in my pregnancy that it wasn't hard anymore?

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

It was just normal to be like, no, I'm going to declare this every single day, every single night, every single morning happening.

[Lindsay Roman]

I feel like. Did I hear this from you? I think I heard it from you. Where. Or maybe. Lol. Maybe you shared this in the last episode where there was a. There was a time where apparently there's like a website that you can go to where you can put in your.

[Evie McLeod]

Like, you're how far along?

[Lindsay Roman]

Nine weeks, two days or whatever. Whatever. And it'll give you the statistic.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like the probable statistic.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Of how likely a miscarriage is. Is that correct?

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Did you share that on the last episode?

[Evie McLeod]

I think so.

[Lindsay Roman]

Oh, okay.

[Evie McLeod]

Will.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, I. I think the point that I was trying to make is in a way that. That could almost be relying on, like, worldly facts and like, logic.

[Evie McLeod]

I did share this in the last episode because I said on my second pregnancy, I was going to that website a lot to, like, re. Reassure myself, like, confidence, but without God. Yeah. I was like, oh, I have like a 3% chance of a miscarriage this week. Right. Or something. And I was like, like, that's so reassuring. I have not visited that website, but.

[Lindsay Roman]

That'S what I'm saying.

[Evie McLeod]

Like, when you.

[Lindsay Roman]

When you are actively partnering and believing and walking with the Lord in faith.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

I feel like you don't need to rely on the logic of science.

[Evie McLeod]

No.

[Lindsay Roman]

You know, it's because it's like God's logic defies.

[Evie McLeod]

Yes.

[Lindsay Roman]

Science.

[Evie McLeod]

And I will say the one thing I want to say. I can't agree with that enough. But I also want to encourage somebody that, that even though I can say, like, hey, the enemy has come knocking, but he's never crossed the threshold, that doesn't mean that there haven't been. There have been like, two different ultrasounds, especially in the first trimester, like, up to, like, I think 14 weeks that I. I did. I. I had like, a feeling in my gut, which things turned out fine. But, like, there was just something that I was like, I fought the fear. I was like, I feel peace, but I still feel like I should go in and get an ultrasound. I feel like I want to go in and check. I want to check on baby. I want to make sure things are looking good, like, whatever. So there were like, at least a couple times that. In for a medical reassurance of, like, checking my, like, on My baby via ultrasound. So I don't want this to seem like I, I just had no questions about the health of my baby ever at any point in this pregnancy. But it was never or never dealt with fear. Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

In any way.

[Evie McLeod]

Fear came knocking, like, period. But fear has never t Set up camp in my heart, in my mind. Like, when he's come knocking, it's been so short lived. He's been kicked out by the, you know, slammed in his butt and skidding long, you know, like completely kicked out. And at this point, like, he's just, he doesn't even come around anymore because he realizes, like, it's not, it's useless, like this girl ain't gonna budge. But I did want to just be like, hey, there were a couple of times that I went in for an ultrasound purely for peace of mind.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

Even as I felt peace in my heart and my spirit, I also was like, I want to be proactive. I want to take precautions. I want to like, you know, double check on things. Like, I was doing the medical things. I was taking the progesterone, I was talking with my doctor, I was testing my labs. I was going in and like checking on the, you know, regular ultrasounds as my doctor, you know, prescribed them. So I don't want it to seem like I was just sitting with my legs crossed and like, like, totally, you know, whatever. I don't know, like I, I was doing things in the physical too, as well as battling in the spiritual.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

And I think for me, that was.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like really the exact image that you just gave. Laboring with one hand and holding your sword together.

[Evie McLeod]

Yep.

[Lindsay Roman]

Or whatever.

[Evie McLeod]

That's good.

[Lindsay Roman]

The thing said.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah. The weapon in the other.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay. My question was, and I don't think you, I'm not saying that you dealt with this, but I would be curious what your thoughts are on this because I think, I think a lot of people could relate, especially if they are believers or even maybe. Well, I feel like you have to believe in God in some capacity to have this thought. But if, if they've dealt with something heartbreaking in this scenario, it's probably a miscarriage in the past, whether it's one, two, many, whatever. And then they're pregnant and you know, they're listening, they're like, okay, I, I'm hearing, to like get in the word and, and like pray. What would you say to the person that's like, mad at God for, for like. And I don't know if that gets a little bit more into the theology talk that we Talked about last time a little bit, but it does. Guys, sorry.

[Evie McLeod]

You're bringing me back.

[Lindsay Roman]

It's because I keep it. Like, I'm like, God's like, no, ask this. And I'm like, okay, people need to hear it. But it. It's like I. I can see a place where. And again, maybe someone's dealt with this in any sort of tragedy or heartbreak in. In any capacity where it's like something that isn't, like, that is defiably not right. Like death of, like, a baby.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Like, that has happened and there's no question that that shouldn't have happened kind of thing. Where it's like, this was not right. This was. There was no, like, silver lining, you know, whatever. It's like. And so I think a lot of people in that moment can turn the lens on God and get mad at God and like, how. How did you. How dare you did this to me kind of thing.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And so I could see somebody that's sitting there, which is what I'm assuming. That's why God's telling me to ask this question of just like, I don't even know how to. I don't want to, like, talk with him. I don't want to do all the practical things that you just listed because I'm dealing with, like, anger at him for doing this to me.

[Evie McLeod]

Just throw me in the fire, why don't you? This, like, you literally could not have asked me a harder question. Yeah, you could, but, I mean, I'm.

[Lindsay Roman]

Just not sure I could come up. I did it. God did. So you just can blame him.

[Evie McLeod]

I literally. The amount of frantic prayers I'm sending up to the Lord right now, like, God, give me freaking words for this. I don't know what to say. I mean, I. I'll.

[Lindsay Roman]

I could share thoughts, too, but I want to ask you.

[Evie McLeod]

This. Might. Oh, I don't know if I want to give this tough love. I mean, I'm just going to do it because it's. All that's coming to my mind is if you. Oh, if you are mad at God and think this is God's fault, you don't understand the character of God.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

Like, if you think God is happy with a horrific, traumatic, you know, tragic scenario in your life that he is, like, up there just evil laughing over it. Like, if that's your perception and you're angry because you're like, how could you do this to me? I just don't think you understand the character of God. That's not the character of God. That is wrong. That is false. This is where it gets back into, like, the theology that we talked about last time of, like, is God sovereign? Yes. Could he stop bad things from happening? Yes. What would that equate us as? Puppets on a string with no free will in his world? That would equate to, like, the entire world is just pawns of God and he's.

[Lindsay Roman]

And then there's no purpose for us to be doing anything. Cause we're just puppets.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah. And we would. Yeah, there's. There's just. Yeah, there's. There's so much theology that goes into that. Do I believe God is sovereign? Absolutely. But do I believe that God's character and his will is for life, life abundantly? Like, if you study. I encourage. If you struggle with understanding the character of God, one, there's a really good book that I read years ago called God is Good by Bill Johnson. I would encourage reading that. But then I would also encourage. Just study the names of God. Study their meanings. And study what? Like, what? Because his names define his character. They are like his. His titles, his, you know, he is Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals my God, my healer. He is Jehovah, Jireh, God, my provider. He is. And if you study these names of God, you study the Prince of Peace, the. My provider, my healer, my redeemer, my sanctifier, my. You know, like, all of these things you come to understand, like, God is not this big bad man in the sky who is just dishing out tragedies. Yeah. Causing horrible things to happen to people because it's like his will. I just, I don't believe that. And so, So I understand that anger. Feeling. Feeling anger in a really tragic situation. I understand that emotion. But anger at God, not that he can't handle it. I just don't think that's not going to get you anywhere. Like, it's actually going to shut off your connection with the One who will help you heal, who will redeem the situation, who will restore, who is prepared and ready to fight with you for your breakthrough, your redemption? Like, by being angry at God and choosing to turn your back on him, you are turning your back on everything that you need in that scenario and in that season. And that's not to say that you can't communicate with God. Like, God, I feel so hurt and betrayed. Can you show me, show me your perspective on this? Like, those are great prayers to ask. I'm not saying that you need to be like, I understand everything. Like, we don't understand Everything, all the time. And that's okay. But maybe it's just me. I'm. I don't. I don't think that. That being angry at God and turning your back on him is going to do anything except actually harm you, your heart, those around you, and make your healing and your redemption story take 10 times longer. Or possibly this could be intense, possibly never come. Like, the opportunities that God has for you of healing and redemption in those moments you. You might completely bypass because you are shutting yourself off to the one who is there in that scenario with you. But I know that's so much easier said than done. Be like, don't. Just don't be angry at God. I understand there are a lot of emotions and God can handle them. So I would just encourage, like, turn to him. Like, I've had friends in seasons past who have been going through really hard seasons for really long periods of time. Like, I'm talking like a year plus, where they've just been hit by one thing after another after another. And I've had these conversations with them. And the thing that I always say is, I understand that you don't want to pick up your Bible right now. Like, I totally get that. That you're like, well, God's like, just letting this happen. And, like, I don't understand. You know, I'm angry, whatever.

[Lindsay Roman]

I don't want to have anything to do.

[Evie McLeod]

I don't want to have anything to do with him. I, like, I have no desire to open my Bible. And I'm like, I get that. I really do do it at anyway. Like, and that's where.

[Lindsay Roman]

That's where the active choice, I feel like, comes into play.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And this may sound not nice, and I also don't want it to sound workspace because it's not. It's not that, like, in order to have redemption in your life, you have to work for it.

[Evie McLeod]

No, no, no. Not at all.

[Lindsay Roman]

But I like how you phrased it earlier of like, we have a responsibility. God's offering it always.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And it's like, are you going like, he. Well, that's beyond just like, you know, revelation or, you know, redemption in that moment. He's offering salvation. He's offering everything. He's offering a relationship.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

At all times to you. And it's because you have free will. Because every single one of us has free will. It's our job or it's our responsibility or, you know, honor, you could say to choose to accept it.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

Which. And there is act. Active participation in that. Like a Marriage.

[Evie McLeod]

I just had a picture, and I don't know if this is, like, the perfect analogy, but I just had it pop into my head of, there will be times in your life when, like, I'm just. I just had the mental picture of, like, you're going through a grocery store and there's all this stuff around you on all the aisles and all the shelves. And, like, I was specifically picturing, like, the produce aisle, and there are all these apples and which. This might be weird, knowing the Garden of Eden and we, you know, symbolize an apple for the fruit, whatever, but. So ignore that. Get that picture out of your head. It was just a picture of, like, you're going through the produce section of a grocery store, and there's all these apples just waiting, like, on shelves, on, you know, the racks, waiting. There are times in your life where somebody will pack a lunch for you and just put an apple in your bag, and it is there for you. And it is like, it is. That's. You know, you just open your lunch sack and there's an apple and your mom put it in there, and like, oh, my gosh, what a blessing. But a lot of times in life with God, like, the picture that I just had was like, it is available to us at all times. But in order for us to have free will, in order for us to be strengthened to step in. In to the season with God, like, all. Like, there's a lot of times where God just wants us to reach out and take hold of an apple. Like, he has it there available for us.

[Lindsay Roman]

Does the cost of the apple mess up that analogy?

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah, ignore the cost.

[Lindsay Roman]

I'm like, okay, but I have to drive to the grocery store. I have to make money to afford the apple. That's.

[Evie McLeod]

No.

[Lindsay Roman]

Okay, it's free.

[Evie McLeod]

That's outside. It's just there. Okay, you're just in the grocery store. Everything's free. Just get okay with my analogy.

[Lindsay Roman]

My practical brain is like, I'm just like.

[Evie McLeod]

The concept of. Of it is a veil. It is right in front of you. All you have to do is reach out and take hold. And there are times, because I could see people being like, well, but God has, like, completely redeemed, or he has, like, brought a miracle in my life when I had my back turned to him and, like, you know, whatever. I'm like, God absolutely does that. I don't want it to seem like we're saying you have to do something in order for God to move. Like, it's not that, but it is. Like, there is so much more available to us in, like, our walks with God, in our marriages, in our homes and our family and our children's lives and our businesses. Like, there's so much available. It's an entire grocery store stocked with shelves and refrigerators and, like, all of this stuff. It is right there for us to just, like, take hold of. We have to, though, get ourselves to the grocery store and walk through the aisles and reach out and take hold of things. And that's not that God is withholding them. That is. That is an exercise in our. Like, we can't just lay around on the couch. Our muscles will atrophy. Like, we'll lose, you know, any strength, any whatever. There is an element in a lot of seasons where we have to get ourselves up, drive to the grocery store and walk through the aisles and then reach out and grab stuff.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

That's not to say that there won't be days where an apple appears in your lunchbox because God, like, you know, know, was pressing through and, like, whatever. So that. And you. You were saying, like, the concept of there is an element of our responsibility to, like, reach out and take hold. And I just, like, had that picture of, like, there are times where God, like, come, like, does this big miraculous thing and stuff appears and he blesses you, and he brings redemption, he brings a miracle, he brings healing. Absolutely. But a lot of times we also have to be the people who are asking for it, asking for help, asking for, you know, and then sometimes he's like, it's literally in front of you. It is directly in front of you. I'm like, fiction.

[Lindsay Roman]

But you still have to grab it. It's still your choice to.

[Evie McLeod]

You're. You're the active, like, mom of three right now. I'm, like, picturing like, those scenarios where, like, the kids, like, I want more, whatever, and it's directly in front of them. And you're like, like, it's. It's literally right there. Grab another quesadilla. It's right in front of you. Like, and they're like, but give it to me. And you're like, just grab it right there. Like, I don't know. I'm just picturing sometimes God looks at us and is like, I've literally been, like, flashing, like, bright lights at you of, like, this is here. Ready? Just take it one step closer to me.

[Lindsay Roman]

Yeah.

[Evie McLeod]

And we're just like, ah, God, Like, I don't know. I have.

[Lindsay Roman]

As you were talking about the grocery analogy, I have one more analogy that I think also, because before you start talking. I, like, was. Was like, if you treat your relationship or just not treat it, but like. Well, yeah, maybe treat it. If you look at your relationship with God as you look at with like your marriage.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah. If.

[Lindsay Roman]

If something happened that your husband did something awful. And maybe that's not perfect analogy because again, when bad things happen, it's not like directly God's fault. But just go with me here. Pretend that like something tragic happened and you were mad at your husband for some reason for that thing that's happened, whether not it was his fault. In scenarios, he might be the bigger person and come to you to like, resolve it. But imagine, like, if, if you're bitter and angry at your husband, is the best thing to do to ignore him?

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

And to, like, give him the cold shoulder. Like, will that truly lead to peace and reconciliation within that relationship?

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Roman]

No, maybe if he, if he comes to you, like, in that scenario, then yeah, maybe. But it's like, I, I like how the example of.

[Evie McLeod]

Well, but I also think I just wanted to throw in there. I think there are so many times where, where like God has come to you repeatedly and you've turned a cold shoulder.

[Lindsay Roman]

Well, okay, that still follows that same analogy, though, exactly. Of like, you're so mad at him or at your husband in this analogy that, like, you're refusing to, but it's like, there is still an active choice that you need to make. You said it really well. Of like, maybe you don't feel like getting in your Bible. Do it anyway. It's like if you want peace in, in a relationship that is. Is broken or, or just like on the fritz of like, you're angry, you don't feel like talking to your husband because you're mad at him, do it anyway. Yeah, I feel like that's. That's the analogy in your apple. It's like you don't feel like going to the store and grabbing an apple. It's still there. Go grab it anyway.

[Evie McLeod]

Here's the thing. Do you want a house overflowing with wonderful, delicious, magnificent food, amazing using. Go get it.

[Lindsay Roman]

It's.

[Evie McLeod]

It's there. Like, that's the thing too. It's like, it's not workspace, but it kind of is. And I love that you brought up the marriage analogy.

[Lindsay Roman]

Would work better for my logical brain if it were like a garden with, like an apple tree.

[Evie McLeod]

Great.

[Lindsay Roman]

Because I don't, I don't have a.

[Evie McLeod]

Garden with an apple tree.

[Lindsay Roman]

An apple from a tree.

[Evie McLeod]

Still tending though, to the tree to keep it in good okay, but whatever. But I love that you brought up the marriage analogy, because that's the one thing I want to say is like, I, I know a lot of what we're saying, saying could be twisted to be a workspace. Like, you have to do something, you have to strive, you have to work hard, you have to, like, God is like taunting you with a carrot. Like, and you have to like, work. And like, I understand that it could be twisted that way. That's not the perspective that I take it from. And that's not what my heart is. And that's not how I view my relationship with God. I view it much more like a marriage in the sense that.

[Lindsay Roman]

Or it's a relationship.

[Evie McLeod]

It's a relationship. And if I don't spend any time with my husband, I won't know my husband. I won't know his voice. I won't be there to like, receive the gifts that he gets for me because I'm never around. I'm living my own life, often at my own house, in my own state, in my own, like, it's very similar to a marriage in the sense that, like, whereas with God, like, or with my husband, if I spend time with him, if I set aside time, if I take the time to listen, to learn to like, make mistakes and ask for forgiveness and then, you know, dive into the next thing, it's like, it's like a marriage, your walk with God. And it does require effort, but it's not hard. And it's not that, that God.

[Lindsay Roman]

It's not that he won't love you unless you.

[Evie McLeod]

Yeah. And it's not that God doesn't have, like, wonderful things for you. If you're, you know, like a brand new Christian, you're like, I don't even know how to read my Bible yet or whatever. Like, I'm not saying, saying that God's blessings are like, you have to work for them. I'm just saying he has so much for us that we don't even fully comprehend. And a lot of it is required. I think I forget the verse that a lot of it requires us to press in, like, be treasure hunters. And, And I forget the verse that says, it is the glory of kings to conceal a matter. No, it is the glory of God to conceal a matter is the glory of kings to seek it out. And that just kind of like, that's one of many verses. Again, if I had ample time and was preparing a full theological statement on all this, it would probably be much smoother and much better said. And with Scriptural references, but it's the concept that, like, seek and you shall find. Ask, and the door will be open. Like, we have to seek, we have to ask, we have to knock. Like, there is an element of us, active participation, us participating in the relationship and going up to the door, finding the door, knocking on the door. And then, you know, there's more for us. And I think that's the thing that I'm trying to convey in all of this, is that there is more. There is always more. We will never reach the end of the depths of God and what he has for us and the power and the blessings and the anointing and all of it. And so I want to spend my life personally, you know, not in a sense of, like, fear or I have to, but in a sense of I get to. This is an adventure. There is literally troves of treasure throughout my life that I get to seek out with God. And I recognize that there is more always, and I want to pursue that more. Does that make sense?

[Lindsay Roman]

Makes sense.

[Evie McLeod]

Okay.

[Lindsay Roman]

Couldn't have said it better myself. That was so good.

[Evie McLeod]

All right, friend. Well, hopefully that blessed you and hopefully that encouraged you. We are always an open book for you at any time. So if you have questions on anything that we said specifically, if you have. Have questions on dealing with fear or. I know I've had a couple people ask for the list of verses that God's really spoken to me, so I kind of want to compile that at some point. Point. So if you want that list of verses, let me know. And I just pray blessings over you and the season that you're in and what God has for you. And I hope this blessed you.

[Lindsay Roman]

All right, we will see you on the next episode. Thank you so much for listening, Sam.