Joe and Jada - Bill Burr ROASTS Fat Joe + talks Eddie Murphy tribute, ‘The Social Reckoning’ & Jada’s viral Drink Champs story

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Herd with Colin Cowherd

Episode Title: Joe and Jada – Bill Burr ROASTS Fat Joe + talks Eddie Murphy tribute, ‘The Social Reckoning’ & Jada’s viral Drink Champs story
Date: May 5, 2026
Featured Guest: Bill Burr
Hosts: Joe & Jada

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Overview

This lively and unfiltered episode brings together comedy legend Bill Burr with hosts Fat Joe and Jada for a rollicking conversation weaving sharp comedy, frank talk about the entertainment industry, and deeply personal reflections. Bill Burr roasts Fat Joe and dives into topics spanning family dysfunction, addiction, show business lessons from Eddie Murphy, social media, the realities of podcasting, and the nuances of fame—all wrapped in banter characteristic of friends regularly breaking each other’s chops.

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1. Opening Banter & Setting the Tone

Timestamps: 00:00–05:14

• Bill Burr immediately homes in on Joe’s outsized persona:

  “Dude, you are a character, man. You’re not even trying, and you just are.” (00:00, Bill Burr)

• The hosts hype up the episode’s profile, promising plenty of legendary energy and irreverence.
• Burr reminisces on his low-budget DIY podcast origins, emphasizing his desire to avoid industry “stipulations” and keep things as unfiltered as possible:

  “I also like doing it more like underground type of thing, where it’s just whatever I say, I say. And then I don’t edit it. I didn’t want it to be a bunch of work, so I never progressed.” (04:10, Bill Burr)

• Joe and Jada joke about the sneaker game and creatives getting gifts from brands, while Bill stays wary of endorsement deals and their attached strings.

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2. Family Loyalty, Dysfunction & Grievances

Timestamps: 06:00–14:00

• Joe vents about family members taking advantage (e.g., squatter nephew), survivor’s guilt, and losing money helping relatives:

  “I got a nephew. I’ve been paying his bills for, like, for years and years... Now he’s saying he’s a squatter. He’s not going to move. He’s a piece of shit, right?” (09:57, Joe)

• Burr reflects on boundaries:

  “If you’re struggling, I’ll try to pull you out. But if you’re face down digging it deeper, I’m not helping you out.” (08:33, Bill Burr)

• Discussion of universal family craziness:

  “All of us have our own brand of it... It’s just more like trauma and however you processed it.” (12:10, Bill Burr)

• Burr shares how acting helped him process anger and childhood conditioning:

  “I figured out why I was fucked up... As a guy...you had to lock away 99% of your emotions. But when I act, these characters are feeling shit that’s in the vault.” (13:00, Bill Burr)
  “Now I can feel all the emotions. And so I have options rather than flipping out, laughing, or saying, I don’t give a fuck.” (13:43, Bill Burr)

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3. Bill Burr & the Comedy Hustle

Timestamps: 14:00–21:00

• More roasting over sports fandoms, with Burr showing “empathy for Knicks fans” (16:02) and Joe lamenting lifelong loyalty to losing teams.
• Joe jokes about the cultural “secrets” of elite sporting events (tennis, hockey), saying he had to discover the US Open and hockey fun for himself:

  “The Caucasians have kept stuff away from us… Everybody got Hermès on, they feeding you lobster… The catering is off the chain.” (17:09, Joe)

• Bill riffs on his high-society experiences, contrasting class and comedy audiences.

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4. Drugs, Crime & Societal Fringes

Timestamps: 28:00–34:00

• Fascinating riff on addiction, with Burr discussing Vancouver’s decriminalization experiment and the shocking street scenes:

  “They decriminalized drugs because they acknowledge addiction is a disease, but they just stopped there. They didn’t then try to get him help… The Fennie fold is insane.” (28:56, Bill Burr)

• Joe offers his ex-drug dealer’s perspective, surprised by the openness.
• Discussion pivots to white-collar crime parallels (“If you get on the corporate side, you can steal legally… all the smart mobsters went legal,” 30:44–31:08, Bill Burr).
• The group jokes about podcasting above the garage to avoid “stipulations” and stay raw.

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5. Roasting and Self-Reflection

Timestamps: 32:38–36:00

• Bill roasts Joe’s look and storytelling style:

  “You look like you just had some cereal… You look like the serial killer in this movie... You are dressed like it’s Sunday morning.” (32:57, Bill Burr)

• Joe admits to being “ego-based, trauma-based”—driven to overshare after years of hiding his past due to criminal ties:

  “There was no storytelling because you couldn’t trust nobody... So all these stories I had, I would not even tell ‘em.” (48:03, Joe)

• Discusses how hip-hop’s mainstreaming allowed former tough guys to show vulnerability.

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6. Entertainment & Industry: Eddie Murphy, "Social Reckoning," Groupies

Timestamps: 39:33–59:53

• "The Social Reckoning":
  Burr describes acting in Aaron Sorkin’s upcoming film about social media’s broader societal effects:

  “It’s not a sequel to The Social Network… It’s sort of the results of social media and stuff like that. And it’s an amazing script… I couldn’t stop reading it.” (39:38, Bill Burr)

• Eddie Murphy’s AFI Tribute:
  Burr tells an emotional story about getting called at the last minute to honor Eddie Murphy:

  “So outta habit, [my wife] said, ‘How you feeling?’ I was like, oh, it’s great… And literally right as I said that, she got a phone call... asking if I would go up and say a few things. And I immediately got super nervous because it’s Eddie.” (56:35, Bill Burr)
  Burr recalls seeing Murphy’s mixed crowd early on—a blueprint for reaching everyone in comedy. “That was really one of the best lessons I ever got… I would want to be able to make everybody laugh.” (58:41, Bill Burr)

• On Comedians & Trauma:
  Burr opens up on why comics lean into dark humor:

  “They think it's because you don't care. It's the opposite... It's a way of not feeling...so you can deal with it... But it's denying of feelings. So you just sort of stay walled off…” (59:59, Bill Burr)

• Joe and Jada riff on the persistence of industry “groupies,” even after musical relevance fades.

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7. Addiction, Stories from Jail, and Hip-Hop Life

Timestamps: 28:19–54:48 (select stories recur throughout)

• Joe and Burr swap stories of jail, contrasting expectations for survival strategies (“shank vs. barber”).
• Joe shares how he paid extra in jail for personal grooming—treated incarceration as a theater:

  “The first thing I got was a barber. Swear to God… It’s all a movie, it's all a… production. It's theater, you know what I mean?” (44:45–46:04, Joe)

• Hilarious story about being tricked into spending on jewelry for his wife while drunk, with a cameo from Nori (“Drink Champs”):

  “I'm standing up against the wall like it's two in the afternoon. Cause I don't really drink... Next thing I know, I'm getting pulled… to the store… Now, Nori is supposed to be the drink champ... He more drunk than me. The guy brings out these white gloves… I wind up getting her that fucking necklace. This shit cost so much fucking money.” (53:30–54:48, Joe)

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8. Social Media, Tech, and Surveillance Fears

Timestamps: 41:13–66:44

• Joe recounts meeting the “owner of Instagram,” dubbing him “the algorithm.”
• Burr and Joe get philosophical about surveillance society, AI-driven “police cars,” and the illusion of control over technology:

  “They’re coming out with cars in 2027 that have all AI surveillance… If they decide to make you think you’re going to the gym, you said the wrong thing, they’re taking you to that alligator island.” (63:59, Bill Burr)
  “See, that's the mistake is you think you're gonna own it [robots]. That's the mistake… that’s a surveillance.” (64:53, Bill Burr)

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9. Podcasting, Competitiveness, and Industry Satire

Timestamps: 66:44–68:31

• Joe jabs at other podcasts, bragging about uniqueness and “fluidity.”
• Burr advises not everything needs to be beef:

  “Can’t you just do a podcast and not start beef with every other podcast out there?” (67:27, Bill Burr)

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10. Closing Topics: Sports, Comedy’s Reach, “The Little Guy”

Timestamps: 68:31–77:27

• Quick hits on NHL and MLB (Burr believes the Colorado Avalanche are hockey favorites, and Shohei Ohtani's “better than Babe Ruth”).
• Burr marvels at the spectrum of fans who come to see him, regardless of background:

  “Best thing as a performer—when someone as different as you could be comes up and says that they like your stuff.” (73:55, Bill Burr)

• The group ends in laughter trading tall tales about “the little guy in Morocco”—an urban legend figure—hitting peak absurdity.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Joe’s Storytelling:

  “He says shit, and then when it’s your turn to talk, he then goes, ‘let me tell you something.’ And then he keeps going.” (42:46, Bill Burr)

• On Family Drama:

  “You’re not allowed to beat the shit outta your family member. Is that some loophole?” (08:08, Bill Burr)

• On Comedy as Coping:

  “You use humor...as a way of not feeling. The thing that I think is hard about that...is that is like denying of feelings. So you just sort of stay walled off...” (59:59, Bill Burr)

• On Podcast Philosophy:

  “You want to be stipulation free as much as you can. You want to limit stipulations.” (32:17, Bill Burr)

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Episode Highlights & Dynamics

• High-energy, chaotic, and full of punchlines—fueled by Joe’s rapid-fire storytelling and Bill Burr’s cutting, self-deprecating wit.
• Authentic discussions on trauma, masculinity, and emotional growth.
• Behind-the-scenes show business insights—from podcasts to Netflix deals, tributes to icons, and the underbelly of both the industry and family loyalty.
• Unpretentious camaraderie; constant mockery and affectionate ribbing keep the tone engaging and real.
• Unusual breadth: moving seamlessly from criminality, addiction, and street life to Emmy talks, therapy, and cultural observations.

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For New Listeners

If you’ve never heard The Herd with Colin Cowherd or caught the Joe and Jada show, this episode is a master class in unscripted, unfiltered conversation—mixing deep life lessons and inside Hollywood scoops with wild anecdotes and honest laughs. Burr’s blend of self-awareness and biting humor is balanced by Joe’s sincerity and streetwise confessions, all kept moving by Jada’s well-timed interjections.

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Suggested Listen

• [00:39:33] Bill's experience filming “The Social Reckoning”
• [00:56:14] Bill's tribute to Eddie Murphy and the comedic “mixed crowd”
• [00:09:18] The harsh truth of family and loyalty as explained by Joe and Burr
• [01:12:00+] The wild "little guy in Morocco" legend, encapsulating the show's energy at its wildest

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Final Thoughts

This episode is both riotously funny and unexpectedly insightful, shining a light on the behind-the-scenes realities of comedy, fame, and life on both sides of the law. With elite riffing, real vulnerability, and nonstop character, it’s a must-listen for fans of comedy, hip-hop, and candid conversations.

Transcript

[Bill Burr]

Dude, you are a character, man. No, you are a. You are. You're not even trying and you just are.

[Joe]

Listen.

[Jada]

Insane.

[Bill Burr]

It's like a tick. He can't say something. He said you grew up in a loud house. Listen, let me tell you something.

[Jada]

Tell you something.

[Bill Burr]

I got. Hey, Joe has something to say.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah. What up, y'?

[Jada]

All?

[Joe]

Freedom of speech. This is Joe cracking dawn. Let's get to it, baby.

[Jada]

Your boy Jada. You know what it is? The Joe and Jada show. Every show legendary. Every show iconic. And we got the pressure on. Today's show is very iconic. When you think of today's guest, they wrote this in collegiate feature parted.

[Bill Burr]

I like that I'm a legend, but he's got to read what I did,

[Joe]

right?

[Bill Burr]

I want to.

[Jada]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Yo, you want to get it right?

[Jada]

We don't want take, guys.

[Bill Burr]

All right,

[Joe]

let him go.

[Jada]

All right, Let me give you the back. Give me your flower.

[Joe]

Let him set you up right.

[Jada]

He's going to One take everything. One take. Over here we got this new deal with Netflix. There's a lot of stipulations and rules and I mean, so if I just give my bill burn. They're gonna call back. We gotta do some read overs and take this out and, you know, stipulations. Yeah.

[Joe]

Okay, let's see if you can read this.

[Jada]

I can definitely read it.

[Joe]

No, I mean, like, you can't read. I mean your eyes, brother.

[Jada]

My eyes ain't like your leg, okay?

[Bill Burr]

What do you think it's wrong with this leg?

[Joe]

Don't listen to this guy. This shit working properly.

[Bill Burr]

He had polio.

[Jada]

He got it.

[Joe]

I ain't got shit in my leg.

[Jada]

That calf right there. Look at my shit in the Google.

[Joe]

My sin is in the Lloyd's in London. It's the best in the Lloyds in London.

[Bill Burr]

Would you blow out your Achilles?

[Joe]

No, I don't.

[Jada]

He blew out his calf.

[Bill Burr]

Not even doing sports.

[Jada]

Huh?

[Bill Burr]

Doing sports or just rapping, dodging bullets, jumping over camels?

[Jada]

When you think of today's guest, you think of a man who built himself from nothing. No gimmicks, no safety net. Just raw truth and the balls to say what everybody else is thinking. A stand up legend, Broadway star. A podcasting pioneers with millions of loyal listeners worldwide. Emmy nominee, Grammy nominee, about to be a major motion picture star. A man who went from the streets of Boston to Hulu specials.

[Bill Burr]

Nah, I was in the suburbs.

[Jada]

The suburbs of Boston. Excuse me. To the Broadway stage. And Stills finds time to argue about Biggie and pack. Funny as Hell, brutally honest and one of the most respected comedians alive today. Make some noise for the one and only Bill Burr.

[Bill Burr]

All right, thank you. I don't know if I can follow that.

[Joe]

Try to tell you. He's gonna. All right, he's gonna give you the rollout. Just stay patient, you know. How do you do your podcast? You gotta set up like this?

[Bill Burr]

No, I just. I have a microphone that I, I, I. I put into my phone, and I just. I do it that way.

[Joe]

People, man, they ain't gotta spend no money for this.

[Bill Burr]

It's not true.

[Joe]

Nothing that's. Yeah, I seen what's my man the other day. He's my man, too. Pete. Pete Davis, Pete Davidson. That in his mother's basement or some eating nacho cheese. Number one, right? Like, you ain't gotta do.

[Bill Burr]

It's not true. It's not true. Like, everybody, Everybody. This is how they all started. They started with just, you know, when. When it first came out. I started doing the podcast in the late 2000s. You actually called up a phone service and recorded your phone call. Yeah, like a flip phone. You would record the podcast, and it started off as five minutes, and it became 10, and then people started writing in and that type of stuff. And then most people moved on to this having, like, a studio or something. But I didn't want to have a guest because I didn't want to deal with people, you know, artists being like, oh, was that today? Blah, blah, blah. And then I got to, like, you know, you know, just do all this extra work and stuff. And I already. I already got enough shit in my life, so I just wanted to keep it simple. And I also like doing it, like, more like underground type of thing, you know, where it's just whatever I say, I say. And then I don't edit it, you know, I didn't want it to be a bunch of work, so I never progressed. If I have a guest, we go into a studio. But if it's just like I did one this morning, I just did it in the hotel room. It's easy.

[Jada]

You got the. I like that. You get it done wherever you at.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. And plus, Netflix never came to me going, you know what we want you to. Yeah, we want you to be. Yeah, I've never. I've never.

[Joe]

We spend the bag, you know? We spend the bag, you know, Motherfuckers hitting us from all over. Officially, everybody that works for us got to connect with Jordan. New Balance. There's the two time a felon. They sending them New Balance now from the Penny loafers. Kelly come in with the new Travis on. Everybody got new on their feet out here like this. Apparently they getting seated by all the top brands in the country because they work on the Joe and Jada show.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, but then with that comes stipulations, as he said. And I can't deal with that.

[Joe]

I don't like any bit of Bill's time. But I want to know what happened to you at the casino this weekend. Because they call me the Indians. They say your partner, man, he don't want to get off the table, man. What was it, man? What was the atmosphere? Why did he.

[Jada]

My free time. I liked it.

[Joe]

Play blackjack, it's not a problem. I'm not.

[Jada]

I lost my shirt.

[Joe]

Lost your shirt?

[Jada]

I had to stay another day and get my shirt.

[Joe]

You got a backup go. I, I, I, I don't gamble, right. I gamble for the sake of the show. Cold.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know how he sounds like that guy that gets prostitutes who goes like you're paying for it anyway.

[Joe]

You are.

[Bill Burr]

No, there's a difference.

[Joe]

Typically larger amount when you do it at home. When you pay for it at home, you paying a large amount now. I got a 19 year old daughter, I'm paying twice. What are you talking about? This shit is this bag that you

[Bill Burr]

should be in the clear at.19, right?

[Joe]

Hell no. It just started.19.

[Jada]

Clearport.

[Joe]

Fuck out of here. These people, man, are you crazy? I got one nephew now, he says he's not going to move, he's a hoarder. Yeah, my name's on the shit. I tell him, yo, Jon Jon, it's time you, you gotta get about, you know what I'm saying? Get a job, do something. He talking about he knows his rights. My nephew's a fucking order.

[Bill Burr]

He's a squatter. He's not your nephew.

[Joe]

He's not an order. He's the squatter. He's not my nephew no more today. I said, man, let him.

[Bill Burr]

So how are you? What pressure are you going to do?

[Joe]

And did it on the way in, right here, coming up upstairs.

[Jada]

They told me, y', all, yes, what are you gonna do?

[Bill Burr]

That's a hard one. Cause that's so relative.

[Joe]

No, I sent some guys over there to beat the shit out of him and pull him up out of the apartment. He's gonna get pounded.

[Bill Burr]

No, you didn't. You wouldn't say that on the podcast. You just incriminated yourself. Why would you do that?

[Joe]

That's family business, man.

[Bill Burr]

You're not allowed to beat the shit outta Your family member. Is that some loophole?

[Joe]

That's where you really got permission to fuck up your family, right? What's next, Jon Jones taking the stand against me? Like, yo, this is.

[Bill Burr]

That's where that's gonna go. That is gonna get really ugly. And then people are gonna take sides. You gotta deal with that immediately, man.

[Joe]

It's hard. You've been doing this a long time. How hard is it for you to be the stupid?

[Bill Burr]

You have to say from the first one. You have to be like, this is a one time only. If you're getting that sense from somebody, you know? But a lot of times, scumbags, they're good at hiding that. So then you gotta kind of like, anticipate it. No, that's happened to me. I'm speaking from. Wasn't a relative, but, like, you know, I don't like talking about that shit. But, yeah, you can get into that problem quickly. So what I always say to somebody is, if you're struggling, all right, if you're reaching up, I'll try to pull you out. But if you're face down digging it deeper, I'm not helping you out. And that's what you're doing right now. And then, you know, people who do shit like that usually don't take accountability. So then they try, oh, you changed. And you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, I grew up in a

[Joe]

project building with a thousand families, so I done got hit with every. I done paid for 200 funerals. No bullshit. The other day I came out the Nick game and some random dude came up to me like, yo, you paid for my uncle's funeral, man. Thank you, Joe. Just like survivor's guilt. My shit is legendary. Like, I took care of hundreds of guys. And they're all pieces of shits, too. They all end up pieces of shits. No, I'm telling you the truth. They all. I wasted my time and my money with these motherfuckers. Like, it's like, because of what?

[Bill Burr]

Loyalty?

[Joe]

Huh?

[Bill Burr]

Because of loyalty?

[Joe]

Because your sense of saying you loyal.

[Jada]

Look at that.

[Joe]

I got a nephew. I've been paying his bills for, like, for years and years and years. Now he's saying he's a squatter. He's not going to move. He's a piece of shit, right? I mean, there's no other way to take it around that whether. Get that one back.

[Bill Burr]

It's a calculating piece of shit.

[Joe]

It's a piece of shit. Well, he's not that intelligent. Somebody fed him the system. Somebody told John, John the system.

[Bill Burr]

Then just tell him he isn't right. Because if he didn't read it, he's not going to know it.

[Joe]

And then, you know my sister.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, you don't gamble, though. He gambles. You got to have him do it.

[Joe]

You already know when it's a real moment. You need a real bottle. That's why we rock with 1800. To keep tequila. These people been making tequila for 11 generations. That's a legacy. That's the OG status. They were the first to introduce Anejo. Set the standard before most of these brands even existed.

[Jada]

And you could taste the difference.

[Joe]

For real.

[Jada]

The 1800 Cristilino and Resposado is what we've been on lately. Smooth, clean, elevated. No rough edges. Just a premium pour that speaks for itself. You know when something is just built, right? That's what this is.

[Joe]

Real talk. That's just what it is. It's always around for the best nights. The wins, the celebrations. Then remember that night stories.

[Jada]

Whether you're keeping it low key with the crew or you pull up to something big. 1800 fits every setting. It ain't trying too hard. It just is that 1800 tequila. Real legacy. Real smooth. That's the move.

[Joe]

Pow. Pow. All you want is normal family, right? Does anybody have normal family? You have normal family?

[Jada]

A percentage. I think everybody got a percent.

[Joe]

Like a percentage.

[Jada]

Nobody's whole family is normal.

[Joe]

Nobody's family's normal?

[Jada]

No, not every last. You can't go from the whole tree and everybody's normal. Every leaf on the tree ain't no the family tree.

[Joe]

You got crazy family, too. What would you describe as your crazy family members?

[Bill Burr]

All of us have our own brand of it. All of us have our own brand.

[Joe]

Yeah, but what would you compare one of your crazy family members?

[Bill Burr]

What do you mean? To what?

[Joe]

Crazy. Like a crazy uncle, Crazy aunt you go to.

[Bill Burr]

It's just more like trauma and however you processed it. So, like with me, I was like I used to be. I kind of had this miracle. I got over my anger, which I didn't think was ever gonna happen. Yeah, I just.

[Joe]

It's called heart attack or stroke at this age. Like, you gotta calm that shit down.

[Jada]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

No, it was just time. I was just. I was done. I figured it out through an acting gig because I figured out why I was fucked up. I had to do some scene. I'll just tell it to you quickly. I had to do some scene and I was just reading the lines and it was making me emotional and it wasn't a Sad scene. And I couldn't figure out why. And I was like, oh, because this is, you know, I don't know, just how you were raised to be a man. You had to like lock away 99% of your emotions. But when I act, these. These characters are feeling shit that's in the vault. So I open that up and what comes out is other shit that's been trying to. Because you think like, oh, you know, if you're gonna cry as a guy, like, I'm not crying. And you think it went away. It didn't. It's still there. And then it like comes out during the holidays or some shit, you know, but you should have just fucking cried it out. So I got on the other side of that. I figured that out. Like, I kind of opened the door. So now I can feel all the emotions. And so I have options rather than flipping out, laughing, or saying, I don't give a fuck. So that's kind of like in as far as like other people in my family. I don't like talking about what. Cause, you know, whatever. We all went through it in our own way. So I processed it finally. It's weird, man. I didn't think it was gonna take that long, but it did.

[Joe]

It's crazy.

[Jada]

Better late than never late.

[Bill Burr]

No, now it's weird. Cause now I'm like kind of happy. Go lucky. And I'm not an angry dude around the house. So my wife, you know, she doesn't quite trust it yet after 20 something years of flipping out over nothing. But now she's starting to kind of understand it. So it's been cool. No, no, no.

[Joe]

It's cool too. You know, I do my art in my office and I just mind my business. It's like therapeutic. And they know he's in there and I'm just minding my business. I think she got a good setup. Like nowadays, I don't trust nobody. I don't trust. I don't go nowhere. So if that's what you wanted, your man in that house, that he's got

[Bill Burr]

that 600 yard stare when he's talking about. I can see all the shit you've been through.

[Joe]

Yeah, I'm telling you the truth. I don't trust nobody no more. I don't want to go nowhere no more. I go to Atlanta. I go to Atlanta for the game. For the game. When I tell you the second I walk off the plane, most beautiful girl comes up to me, Joey, I'm saying the second, you know, it's all you had there the door opened up and you got the girls that do the wheelchair and a beautiful girl. Joey, welcome to the A. I'm like, seek the kingdom, nigga. Seek the kingdom.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know what that means.

[Joe]

Stay in the Lord's grace. Seek the kingdom. I walk two, three steps, Joey. I'm like, nah, this ain't. It's. The devil's in the air.

[Bill Burr]

I gotta stay. Well, you know, if a beautiful woman's pushing a wheelchair, you know there's something wrong.

[Joe]

Well, it wasn't her.

[Jada]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah, it wasn't her.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, all right. I was gonna say that doesn't. That doesn't line up with me.

[Joe]

Was like, oh, I didn't know you wanted to same flight as me. And just fucking, you know, immediately nicely.

[Bill Burr]

I have a lot of empathy for Nick fans.

[Joe]

You do?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I do. Because one of my best friends, Paul Verze, stand up comedian, like his belief. Every year, it's almost. It hurts me as a friend to see how much he believes. Every October. It's like that guy who just can't break up with that girl, you know, it's just like, she's gonna break your heart.

[Joe]

Call me Pendejo Records. They say I'm signing up Pendejo Record. That's like Sucker Records. Every year, I think the Knicks are gonna win. I go through this.

[Jada]

You gotta introduce them to your man. Cause they got the same.

[Bill Burr]

They got the same disease.

[Joe]

You don't have it. Kiss. You sound like you a fake fan. I'm not a fake fan. So why you saying everything?

[Jada]

You don't even.

[Joe]

All right, so what's the problem? Everything.

[Jada]

New York.

[Joe]

Yeah, I'm definitely not a Giants to jets fan.

[Jada]

I got everything.

[Joe]

New York, I'm US Open.

[Bill Burr]

You're a tennis fan?

[Joe]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

I heard it in that. Yes.

[Joe]

No, no.

[Bill Burr]

He was like, yes.

[Joe]

I love it. Let me tell you something. The biggest secret. Let me tell you something.

[Bill Burr]

You can just tell it to me, Joe. You don't have to wind up with free intros. Let me tell you something today, I'm

[Joe]

saying for the white people, but not just because you're obviously Caucasian. But the Caucasians have kept stuff away from us that we didn't know that we should be. We never knew about the US Open. I went over there a couple of years ago. Everybody got her mess on. They feeding you lobster? Benny honors over. I said this shit. I could get you there. I could be a fucking squad. No, the catering is off the chain. US Open is beautiful. I went to a hockey game two years ago. It was the most lit, fun shit you ever been to. You ever been to a hockey game? No. The best place you'll ever go in your life. But the white people never told us that. They never say, yo, this is actually.

[Bill Burr]

Joe, it's on tv.

[Joe]

Really fun.

[Bill Burr]

It's on tv. It's on tv. But I know what you're saying, though, because tennis is not even for all white people.

[Joe]

Well, who's it for, then?

[Jada]

Certain way.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, certain.

[Joe]

For the elite.

[Bill Burr]

Formula One. Those are all Illuminati. Golf, tennis, F1. Yeah, well, that's the thing. They. They make. They make all white people feel like they're part of the Wimbledon club. Oh, so we do what we're supposed to do against you guys so they can take all of it. That's what they do. So they make it seem. I went to Wilmington. I went to Wilmington last year. Joe, if I get a word. Yeah, I fucking. I did. I fucking did. I feel like. I feel like he's on my podcast. He's the guest. I went to Wimbledon earlier this year, and like, dude, the level of white there was, like. It was astounding to me. It was astounding to me. And I was. I was with this woman. I go, you want to freak any of these guys out? I go, just walk up to any of them and just sit down next to them and whisper in their ear, go, hey, I know what you did. And then walk away and just watch the.

[Joe]

No, that's just crazy. Yeah, no, I did that to me.

[Bill Burr]

They all have, like, that heart attack spray in their front breast pocket.

[Joe]

Yeah, I'll be fucked for, like a month. Like, yo, who is that woman that

[Jada]

just came up and said, that would freak me.

[Joe]

That shit will bug me the fuck out. But you know what? Before you.

[Bill Burr]

But they were sitting next to the fucking.

[Joe]

Before you came, Royals was here. She. She's. She's white right now, I think. So I agree with that experience at the Atlanta. It's different kind of white people. You just told you that? No, no, but I'm confirming. I went to the fucking Atlanta game.

[Bill Burr]

The Knicks in the Atlanta.

[Joe]

And they had the white. You know, the white. Different kind of white people.

[Bill Burr]

The Knicks in the Atlanta.

[Jada]

Knicks.

[Bill Burr]

The Hawks.

[Joe]

Knicks against the Hawks.

[Bill Burr]

Yes.

[Joe]

But sitting behind me were these white people. And, you know, they're like George Bush and Barbara Bush. Like, it's a different kind of white. Like, they. They don't get out much. They just come for the game, and they were looking like, who's this fat motherfucker from New York that they're allowing to act like a complete ass to

[Bill Burr]

sit in front of me.

[Joe]

Sit in front of me and act like an asshole in the most legendary way. Like they were. Look, they were trying to figure this shit out. Like, you know, they went back home to ride horses and shit like that. Like, this shit was crazy.

[Bill Burr]

Wait a minute.

[Joe]

I know who they are.

[Bill Burr]

You also being obnoxious, though. So it's not all them.

[Joe]

I'm not a good sport. I'm a bad sport. I'm terrible.

[Bill Burr]

You know, in Atlanta, they built them a brand new baseball stadium. And my people would not drive into it because they didn't like the traffic. So then they just gave it to Georgia Tech, I believe. And then they built a whole new one that has just as much traffic. But everybody shows up now.

[Jada]

That's it,

[Joe]

you know, the strangest things happen, you know. So I seen Dolan. You know Dolan, the owner of the Knicks?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, the musician.

[Joe]

He's the musician. That's my guy. That's my guy. But when I tell you, Dolan looks, for the most part, like, watch him tomorrow's game. He look like he don't want to say hi to nobody. Dolan don't let I know.

[Jada]

Cause he eat. He was at game seven at the last time they was in the Eastern Conference finals like this.

[Bill Burr]

He was asleep.

[Joe]

He didn't even give a. I said,

[Jada]

yo, he gotta be the hardest owner. He was in the front snoring.

[Joe]

The man saw me at seven.

[Jada]

The niggas going bent, Ben, bent. He like this. That's when you got too much money. He didn't even care about it.

[Bill Burr]

I think he's into music.

[Jada]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like, I think if it was a band. I think he pays attention.

[Ad Host]

Live performance.

[Joe]

What you like, what you love.

[Ad Host]

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[Jada]

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[Bill Burr]

Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving. And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset. So enjoy this 14 second session on us. I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available and so on. And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better, too. Liberty. Liberty.

[Jada]

Liberty.

[Bill Burr]

Liberty.

[Chelsea Handler]

This season on on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler. We have some fantastic guests like Emilia Clarke.

[Joe]

When, like young people come up to me and they want to be an actor or whatever, my first thing is always, can you think of anything else that you can do?

[Chelsea Handler]

I'd rather be disappointed in. Do that Dennis Leary.

[Joe]

I wake up and I'm hitting him in the head with a water bottle.

[Bill Burr]

And Bruce Jenner is on the aisle in a karate stance like he's about

[Joe]

to attack me, like making karate noises.

[Bill Burr]

And here's the entire the Kardashian family over there.

[Joe]

Everybody's going, and the air marshal is

[Bill Burr]

trying to grab my arms and screaming.

[Joe]

And I immediately know that I've been sleepwalking.

[Chelsea Handler]

David Oyelowo.

[Bill Burr]

I love this podcast. Whether it's therapy or relationships or religion

[Joe]

or sex or addiction or you just

[Bill Burr]

go straight for the guts guy Branham.

[Chelsea Handler]

So anyway, Nicole Kidman broke up with Keith Urban.

[Joe]

Being half of a country couple was always a hat she was going to wear, not like a life she was going to lead.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, interesting. I like that. Did you practice that on your way over? Gaten Matarazzo from Stranger Things, Tana Mongeau, Camilla Marone, Carrie, Kenny Silver, and more. Listen to these episodes of Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jacob Kingston grew up in an isolated polygamous sect.

[Jada]

We were God's chosen kingdom on earth.

[Chelsea Handler]

He felt destined for greatness. So when a swaggering Armenian businessman catapults Jacob into an extraordinary world, he doesn't look back.

[Bill Burr]

Ferraris and Lamborghinis, private jets meeting the president of turkey.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm Michelle McPhee and this is one of the most shows shocking criminal conspiracies I've ever come across.

[Joe]

When Jacob met Lavon, this went to

[Bill Burr]

a billion dollar fraud.

[Chelsea Handler]

But with two kings from entirely different worlds. Just how long can their empire survive?

[Bill Burr]

The largest tax investigation in American history. You need to tell me what you know. Is somebody coming after me? Jacob told Lavon. You're ruining my life.

[Chelsea Handler]

Listen to Kingdom of Fraud starting on May 12th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Joe]

What would you eat if you had to start over?

[Bill Burr]

Real simple, poor man's poor woman's food.

[Joe]

Black beans, chicken, rice, plantains. Yeah, that's always. That's poor people's food, man.

[Bill Burr]

But being Nigerian, that's come on a

[Joe]

go to on the podcast Eating While broke. I sit down with celebrities, entrepreneurs and creators as they revisit the meals they once relied on and the moments that shaped their journey. Named best food podcast at the 2026 iHeart Podcast Awards, this show is all about real conversations on money, growth and what it really takes to make it. It was times where me and Lex will like definitely get into it because we not making any money. Like I need to start making more. Like why are we doing this? But I don't know. I think we just always knew that we had something really good and eventually people were gonna catch on and so we just thugged it out. The full season is available to binge right now. Listen to Eating Wall Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. You know I'm into graffiti and they dropped a new video yesterday. Right. Not guilty for it. And I'm into the only going to running to YouTube to see the guys who hit the train. It's just everybody got their own. He wouldn't get off the tables. I got the call, right? Me, I'm addicted to graffiti. What's your addiction, man? What do is it?

[Bill Burr]

It was booze.

[Joe]

It's not fentanyl?

[Bill Burr]

No, no. You worked in Vancouver.

[Joe]

I worked in Vancouver.

[Bill Burr]

That fucking skid row puts LA to shame.

[Joe]

Free drugs.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, well, they decriminalized it. So they just come here and do

[Joe]

your drugs, sell the drugs for free. When I went to Canada and I seen this, I thought they let you sell drugs free. This is easy.

[Bill Burr]

This is.

[Joe]

This is easy.

[Bill Burr]

You can't interrupt and then go. Go ahead.

[Jada]

Yeah, tell them.

[Joe]

Tell them what you was.

[Bill Burr]

I was trying to.

[Jada]

Cool, well, let me hear about this.

[Bill Burr]

So this shit is. They decriminalized drugs because they, they. They acknowledge that addiction is a disease, but they just stopped there. They didn't then try to get him help, as far as I can tell. So they're just out there. Fucking smoke. It's insane. And everybody folded in half. That Fennie fold is insane. Like, dude, I'm telling you guys that before the drugs couldn't touch their toes and now their face is like looking at their hands.

[Joe]

Pilates.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that's what I was joking. Nobody on fentanyl has ever pulled a hammy. No, never. They sit there for 20 minutes, fucking head down to the ground.

[Joe]

They got the strongest hammock in Pennsylvania. In Philly, it's called tranq. It's tranquilizer. You in America, you watch when you go home, you go on YouTube and look for Philadelphia Tranq. You won't believe this.

[Bill Burr]

Okay, what is that?

[Joe]

Zombies. Zombies.

[Bill Burr]

Every time you think they think it's not going to go further, somebody figures it out.

[Joe]

The furthest it can go, other than death.

[Bill Burr]

As of right now, yeah.

[Joe]

You see them bring guys back to life. They overdosed and the guy's mad that they woke them up. Like, yo, that shit was the best shit. Why you woke me up. You fucked up my high. Like, it's out of control. But what I was going to say to you is, I used to sell drugs, right? So there's always a piece of.

[Bill Burr]

Dude, just segues of criminality.

[Joe]

There's always a piece of criminality. So when I go to where you said in Vancouver, and I see it, I said, shit, you could sell drugs here and not go to jail if it feels like that, right? Like at that Skid Row where you.

[Bill Burr]

I didn't look at it that way.

[Joe]

I did. I looked at it like, yo, we can make a fucking killing out here. Like, these guys are letting you sell drugs. Like, it looks like.

[Bill Burr]

And you wouldn't have to hide your money then. No, that's what sucks about being a criminal is you have to hide your money. You gotta drive lesser of a car. Well, if you get on the corporate side, you can steal legally and you can drive down the street with like a. Like a top hat on.

[Joe]

Tell you something, I went to Denver like.

[Bill Burr]

Like one of those bankers from the fucking 1800s.

[Joe]

Let me tell you something, all the

[Bill Burr]

smart mobsters went legal.

[Joe]

I used to go.

[Bill Burr]

They did. They got to the legal side of stealing.

[Joe]

They went. I used to go to Denver. They fixed the first place to legalize marijuana.

[Bill Burr]

They're doing all their scams, the fucking lotteries, the numbers, extortion. They do all of that. They do everything. They do every fucking thing the mom did. They just do it legal, they do it legally.

[Joe]

God bless those guys. These are great guys. We got a Notorious.

[Bill Burr]

That's why it sucked that they caught Luigi. I wanted to see him finish this list.

[Jada]

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

[Joe]

I wanted to see PG13. Oh, yo, it's the family.

[Bill Burr]

See, this is why. This is why I do mine. Fucking above my garage.

[Joe]

You don't give a fuck.

[Bill Burr]

No, I do.

[Joe]

You do?

[Bill Burr]

I do. Because I don't want to deal with that. Because they always do that shit. You know what it is? You can do Hunger Games. You cannot do Reverse Hunger Games. That's how it works. You can sell them a movie. Yeah, the future. Five guys have money and they run around shooting people. Oh, wow, that's great. You do it the other way. Those people you were eating fucking come back and they're going to kill you guys. Well, I mean, that's kind of a message that we don't want to put out. That's how that works.

[Joe]

Trust me, I know about it.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that's why I do it above the garage. No stipulations, Joe. You want to be stipulation free as much as you can. You want to limit stipulations. There you go. Look at that. That's your problem, Joe. You got too many stipulations in your life and you're wearing it on your face.

[Jada]

Get him back.

[Bill Burr]

You're wearing it on your face. That's why he's dressed in his fucking tracksuit. He's trying to compensate for all the stipulations in his life.

[Joe]

He's trying to. Let me tell you something, Bill. I grew up with. Shit.

[Bill Burr]

You are dressed like it's Sunday morning.

[Joe]

Let me tell you something, Bill.

[Bill Burr]

It's Monday. It's the first day of the week. Look at you.

[Joe]

Sony.

[Bill Burr]

You look like you just had some cereal.

[Joe]

Yeah, you taste that? You look like the serial killer in this movie. Fucking Apex. Anybody seen that movie on Netflix? Apex. He looked like the motherfucking killer. He was fucking killing everybody, this guy. No wonder you on Netflix. You was killing everybody. Cherise Theory. That's the guy. Yo, this serial killer. How you bring Luigi's man in this shit right here? Luigi, huh?

[Bill Burr]

How about the fact that whole crime was on camera? That didn't disturb any of you New Yorkers. That you live in a police state? I mean, I understand. You got to stop the guy. They had him all. Until he went behind a tree. They couldn't film him. They had that whole thing.

[Joe]

Yeah, they got that.

[Bill Burr]

I saw a thing.

[Joe]

That's how they solving crime. It's no longer like real. It's true. You seen Jussie Smolliette? Fellow actor?

[Jada]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Can you just say that name?

[Joe]

Smollett.

[Bill Burr]

Smolliette. I like that. I think that's better than Smollett. Smollett.

[Joe]

I've seen and heard a lot of shit in my life. Jesse Smollett took the cake. You hear me? He might as well go down like Paul Reveal, like reacting. They back him up. He said he got beat up. They backed the film up. And he's rehearsing choreography with the guys who beat him. Like, yo, get yo, Jesse Smollett, dude.

[Bill Burr]

Jesse Smollett. That's my favorite thing ever.

[Joe]

They took care of him.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, I gotta. It's Smollett. Just even I know that

[Jada]

he's saying the wrong thing. He likes.

[Bill Burr]

No, I get it. That's low key. I don't respect you because you lied. So I'm not going to respect you enough to say your name right. I like that. You know, can I take that and pick up the flag? After further review.

[Joe]

Even if I love you, I get further review.

[Bill Burr]

I understand why you said smelly, yet I gotta. My bad, my bad. Replay the down. Replay the down.

[Joe]

My side took the fucking flag back. You see how this shit goes? Two Time a felon.

[Bill Burr]

That comes with age. You can admit when you're wrong.

[Joe]

This guy works on the stage. He's called Two Time a felon.

[Jada]

Doing a live talk. Can I. Can I come. Can I come check you out?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I Want to make sure my 100%. I was saying before we came on him telling that story of the guy taking the dap back, the amount of comedians I sent that to, all we talked about was how masterfully, comedically you told that story. It was fucking amazing. That's it.

[Joe]

See you.

[Bill Burr]

Amazing teller, too, brother.

[Joe]

There you go. Let me tell you something. I hate these guys.

[Bill Burr]

Dude, you are a character, man. No, you are a cat. You are. You're not even trying, and you just are.

[Joe]

Listen.

[Jada]

Insane.

[Bill Burr]

It's like a tick. He can't say something. He said you grew up in a loud house. Listen, let me tell you something. I got. Hey, Joe has something to say. We're here for you, Joe. You can just never see me.

[Joe]

DJ Khaled and Nori on a regular. Not camera, just in the crib eating. Can't nobody get a word. Y' all, let me fucking talk. Yo, I got something to say. Can I talk now? Like, we. This. The whole conversation is Kim. We talk. We just screaming at each other.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Cause nobody's listening.

[Joe]

Nobody wants to fucking. You know, everybody wants.

[Jada]

Nobody wants to.

[Joe]

But what I was gonna say is I hate these guys. These guys. He's talking about just look smolly yet,

[Bill Burr]

or you've moved on to.

[Joe]

It's not Smolly yet. That's been gone. I'm just trying to keep up. One of the icons that I love, living legends. I wouldn't call her auntie. I just love her so much. Stephanie Mills. And she says she goes where she's celebrated, not when she's tolerated. And it's a lot of motherfuckers that go where they tolerate. Well, you know, we really don't want you here, but you there, right? So that's. That story that he's telling is like, he took his dad back. Like, what are you even doing here? We don't even really fuck with you, you know, and with me. You know, I've been doing this 30 something years, and we went through a phase where we were the number one guys in the world. So every groupie that you could think of was trying to latch onto us. Every groupie to come 25 years later. And the young, young brother from the Bronx, a boogie. Now, he's the biggest. He says, joe, I'm doing this big show come by, and I go to his dressing room and the city. Same groupies from Fat Joe and big pun in 1997 are in the A Boogies. These are grown man groupies in a Boogies room. Like, yo, you want a Piece of cake. You wanted this. I. What the fuck is like. I. They, you know, and then they say, they tell they family. I'm in the industry. They tell they family. Yeah, I'm in the industry. You know, in this industry. I'm like, what industry is these people fucking talking about? What qualifies you for being in the industry? Tell me that.

[Jada]

Being an end.

[Joe]

No, no, no. Get paid. That could make one. If you're in some type of entertainment, you're getting paid. That's a good one, you know, because these guys, they turn around and say they in the industry, they tell their families they broke a shit and their job is groupie, and they get the daps taken back. Like, yo, my man, we don't know you, man. Get the fuck outta here. Like, I mean, it's amazing to me, it's an industry.

[Bill Burr]

Just for the record, I understood the story when he told.

[Joe]

You understood the story, correct?

[Bill Burr]

I understood it, yeah. I didn't know where you were going with that joke.

[Joe]

I don't know where the fuck I'm going. I just. It just always lands. It always lands. Just like the fucking artists.

[Bill Burr]

It does, it does.

[Joe]

What's that spaceship? The Artemis.

[Bill Burr]

Passengers might not be there when you land, but land, whatever you were flying,

[Joe]

that motherfucker gonna make sense. And then sometimes I catch a little Alzheimer's or something. Sometimes I freeze up and they'll be like, yo, what the fuck I'm talking about? And then I get it. Bam. You was talking about this, Joe. Get it there, you know what I'm saying? Very important.

[Jada]

I want to hear about the Social Reckoning for a minute before you.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, social record.

[Joe]

Socially Reckoning.

[Bill Burr]

That was the movie I was doing when I was up in Vancouver when I saw that Skid Row. So I did like a week on that movie. It's Aaron Sorkin movie, and it's not a sequel to the Social Network. It's a where that one showed how Facebook came about. This is more showing sort of the results, I think, overall, of social media and stuff like that. And it's an amazing script, I can tell you that. I think it's gonna be an amazing movie. I read really slow, right? So when I got the script, it was like 145 pages. And I'm like, Ah, fuck. It's usually about 105, 110. So I have to literally be like, all right, I'm read 30 pages a day. I'll get through this shit in like four days, whatever. I sat down. I couldn't stop reading it. I Went read in one sitting, Read the thing. And I went there and it was one of the most fun I've had shooting things, you know, cool actors and Aaron was great. So I think that that comes out in like October, but it's getting some good buzz already.

[Joe]

Good for you.

[Bill Burr]

And you are welcome to see it. That Joe isn't like tennis Marty Supreme.

[Joe]

You are welcome. You might be the next Marty Supreme. You never fucking know. You never know.

[Bill Burr]

The Facebook movie might be like the ping pong movie,

[Joe]

you know, I met the algorithm. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you, Chris. Bill, because you look very intelligent. Let me ask you a question.

[Bill Burr]

I feel like you're selling me a bad car.

[Joe]

I met.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, Bill, you're a smart guy. The hoodie comes up, he's gonna do something shady like what's going on?

[Jada]

He's about to line you. Bill.

[Joe]

Yeah, I meant the algorithm.

[Bill Burr]

How long is this podcast? No, no, I mean that in a good way. I mean that in a good way. You are. Joe.

[Joe]

We're going to be fascinating. We're going to get you out the next 30 minutes because my former mobster Joey Molino's here.

[Bill Burr]

We don't want him to tell you I'm the appetizer. I mean, we don't want, we don't

[Joe]

want Joey to pull you to the side at this show and tell you, you know, you old dudes attacks or some shit like that, you know what I'm saying? But I'm in Nate now. It's my favorite Jewish deli out in la. And I'm eating my split pea soup. Girl comes over, she says, hey, do you want to meet the owner of Instagram? So I go over there, I meet the guy, the guy's the fucking. I said, oh, shit, you're the algorithm. You control Instagram. You're the fucking. He said, yeah, well, you can say it like that, Joe. I am the algorithm. This guy, right?

[Bill Burr]

Wait, you met a guy in LA and you said, you are the algorithm?

[Joe]

And he confirmed the fucking owner of Instagram, he's the algorithm. If I own Instagram. Instagram, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You wouldn't admit to that.

[Joe]

Victor. And fucking Victor meets me and I feel like, hey, that's photography. Let me light them up and give them 2,3 million. Subscribe I can. I'm the algorithm. Let me tell you something. Shout out to Michael Jackson family. The movie's number one in the country, Jada.

[Bill Burr]

He says, shit. And then when it's your turn to talk, he then goes, let me tell you something. And then he keeps going. And then he keeps going. And he keeps going.

[Jada]

He got him.

[Bill Burr]

He got him. You got the easiest job in show business. You just sit there and you can say that again. All Jada's got to do is sit up and go. And then he goes, let me tell you something. I said, all right, I'm back. I went. I saw a band one night, and this guy was talking so much between songs, it was driving me nuts, because he was great. He talked for 10 minutes one time and then said, first of all, swear to God, I was just sitting there going, how the fuck are you? How about in conclusion?

[Joe]

All right, you want to know what happens, Bill, is do I have a choice?

[Bill Burr]

I mean, you're going to tell me either way.

[Joe]

Sometimes you get a gig.

[Bill Burr]

Just tell me what happened, Joe.

[Joe]

Sometimes you get a gig.

[Bill Burr]

How many times a week do you get your beard lined up?

[Jada]

Every day, actually.

[Joe]

My barber fucked up. Today was his birthday. Should have went to act. What's up? He was supposed to come at 8 in the morning. I really would have had that shit.

[Bill Burr]

Every time I see you, it's that length.

[Joe]

Fucking paper. Cut your finger. My shit looked like 3D. My shit, like, when I was in jail, the first thing I got was a barber. Swear to God. The first thing I got said, who's the best barber in this motherfucker? Comes up, Poppy with the tail.

[Bill Burr]

You on your own wavelength, like I'm telling you. Just your own fucking thing. Who says that? Going to jail. They're thinking, let me get a shank so I don't get in the ass. He's like, I want my beer to look good when I'm getting sexually assaulted.

[Joe]

You know, jail.

[Bill Burr]

What crew do I need to align with so I don't get in the ass? This guy. You guys got a post office? He went to jail. Like Jimmy the Jet. Yeah, he had his own wing.

[Joe]

The first thing I got was a barber. The barber told me. I said, yo, how much is the most you get paid? Cause I paid my. My barber hundreds of dollars a cut. Like, for real. Right? But you said, the guy, luckily in jail, you could work a month doing some shit, and you. You get paid a Snickers bar. The motherfucker say he want $5. I said, I'm gonna give you a hundred dollars a month. But when I call you.

[Bill Burr]

But when I what?

[Joe]

When I call you, I don't care who you cutting. What's going. Yo, Bobby, you gotta lead that. You gotta run up here.

[Bill Burr]

Was that a smart move though?

[Joe]

Huh?

[Bill Burr]

Was That a smart move though, letting people know you had a hundred bucks.

[Joe]

A hundred bucks? I'm fed, Joe. Don't fucking. They know I'm rich when I'm walking down you fucking great. That's what I'm saying. I would immediately attacked Fat Joe the second he went in jail. I'd have been like, yo, you got to pay, you got to pay. But anyway, I give him a hundred bucks and I tell him, yo. So I come out there, you know, any given Sunday, Bobby. And then he start, Mr. Joe, he start running up the shit in front of ghost players, you know what I'm saying? Hit my shit little. It's all a movie, it's all a, you know, it's a production. It's theater, you know what I mean?

[Bill Burr]

Are you bailing on your own story?

[Joe]

No, I'm all right. It's part of that. I remember on this marble because I got space. I've got friends who did massive amount of jail time in real jails, right? So I had like a pamphlet, a preparation the night before Pistol piece stood in my house. I said, yo, Pistol, how's it going to be for me? Because this is the first time I'm doing time. He said, just like you live out here, you're gonna live in there. You done? And he ain't never lied. Went in there, had that shit locked down. Chef, Italian chef, cooking for me. Mozzarella, fresh homemade ice cream. Matzo mel, mozzarella, homemade, fresh ice cream, all type of shit. I had a guy used to wash my cell. You could eat ice cream off the fucking floor. This shit was so as shiny as your fucking head, Bill, bruh. In the fucking floor. You eat ice?

[Bill Burr]

You threw that in? Because you know, I'm not buying all of this. What?

[Joe]

What was Instead of cameras, you would

[Bill Burr]

have had to pay.

[Joe]

Bill, let me explain something. You see how many cameras is in here? There was thousands of guys.

[Bill Burr]

Wait a second.

[Joe]

Nobody say he lying. Everybody. I had thousands of guys locked up with me and nobody say I'm lying. I tell these stories all the time. You ain't got one person come out like, nah, that ain't. Nah. Yes, it's true. Yes, it's true. Joe had it like that. Sorry, sorry, not sorry, Phil Burr. They say I could be good at fucking stand up comedian. But I don't know, man. It's much harder than just telling jokes with your friends.

[Bill Burr]

You think once you established your vibe. Because it took me like 10 minutes and then, all right, I get this guy, you just say something and then he Answers a different question. And then you just listen.

[Joe]

Yo, Bill, you're very sharp because you're sharp because you figured out, can you

[Bill Burr]

stop doing this cell phone salesman shit to me? I'm not buying the plane.

[Joe]

No, it takes people. It takes people time to figure out. Fat Joe, you figured me out in 10 seconds.

[Bill Burr]

No, 10 minutes. It was 10 minutes.

[Joe]

You can't shut the fuck up. I have a problem.

[Bill Burr]

What do you think that's. Do you think that's trauma based?

[Joe]

Ego based ego based trauma?

[Bill Burr]

You need to take your hood up so your head doesn't get too hot.

[Joe]

You know, what happened was when I grew up, guys like me wouldn't tell their story, right? So I'm from the streets. There was a time, Bill, where I used to say, yo, no pictures. I'm in the club with all the other drug dealers. And they going, yo. And I'd be like, yeah, y. No pics. Nah, can't be in the pits. Or. There was no storytelling because you couldn't trust nobody to tell a story. So all these stories I had, I would not even tell him shit. See, I was the guy. You'd be like, he's unapproachable. He's not a nice guy. You would see him from far and

[Bill Burr]

you'd be like, so when did that change?

[Joe]

Soon as the podcast. And everybody said you could talk and you could be cool now. And Drake started making hotline bling shit like that. I know when the hotline bling, that's when you allow to be yourself once. Drake was like, you, you, you, you. I said, oh, we ain't got. We ain't gotta live up to the shit. We could just. I know when the highlight bling, that's it. I said, yeah, you can be yourself. Fucking be funny. Everybody likes a fucking former gangster turned funny guy.

[Bill Burr]

That's true.

[Joe]

Everybody loves that. Remember. What the fuck was that movie where the guy was. Was it Robert De Niro? He was a gangster and then turned into a nice guy. Analyze this, analyze this. That was a motherfucker, that movie, huh? Everybody likes the funny gangster.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I agree.

[Joe]

I feel like James, you was selling them weed in the suburbs and shit. Like James.

[Bill Burr]

No, I didn't smoke weed till later in life. Yeah, I always stayed away from him.

[Joe]

Why?

[Bill Burr]

Because this guy, when I was in fourth grade, came to our school and he told us what it was like to have emphysema. And he goes, make a fist like this and try to breathe through it. That's what happens if you smoke. So I was just like, all right, I'm not doing that. I was the one kid, like, he connected with, so I wouldn't smoke anything, but I drank like a lunatic, so I just went that direction. So it wasn't until like my 30s, you know, you can't drink alcohol your whole life. It beats the shit out of you. So at some point, you know, and I still had my demons, so I needed something to take the edge off. So I started smoking weed. But all the old people tell me that the weed nowadays is not the way it used to be. And it's like. It's all like fucking chemicals. I know guys that.

[Joe]

Who.

[Bill Burr]

They used to smoke all the time when I was younger, in like the 80s, they quit. They quit. Cause they're saying that the weed is too intense. I don't know.

[Joe]

All I'm looking at is potheads in this motherfucker. They like, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Did you just have to smoke like

[Joe]

all the older guys who used to smoke? Is the weed the same as back in the day?

[Jada]

Nah, they were smoking. They were smoking. Weed is like TVs. They had the TVs with the big backs on them. Now you got big TVs that grandma could carry his light, you know what I'm saying? That's what happened to the weed. It evolved. The chemists, they got more resources, more easily, right? You try to smoke weed with somebody who smoked in the 70s and 80s, the weed blow, they fucking socks off.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that happened to me at Thanksgiving. I went to give somebody a gummy, and she goes, it's not going to do anything for me. I go, it's like 10 milligrams. She goes, yeah, I need at least 100. So I was like, wow. And then, like an idiot, whatever she was smoking, I took two hits of. And then after I was going, like, I shouldn't have done that. And then, like, I sat down. I just wasn't. I wasn't at Thanksgiving for like three hours.

[Ad Host]

No.

[Bill Burr]

And my wife literally kept saying, like, people kept trying to talk to me. And she kept going, he's useless. He's useless. That's what it was.

[Joe]

And you hearing that in 3D, you don't hear it?

[Bill Burr]

No. It's like I was paralyzed. Like, I was laying.

[Joe]

You're paralyzed?

[Bill Burr]

Like, people didn't know I could hear him.

[Joe]

Useless. You're useless. You know, I don't drink. I'll tell you some bullshit my wife did to me, man. And fucking Nori helped him. So we have these, like, lunch dates with his wife, my wife, and we in Miami and we fucking Bell Harbor. And these guys start. You know, they drink for breakfast, right? So everybody's drinking, and Nori starts smoking blunts in the middle of Bell Harbor. Like, nah, we violated Bal Harbor. Like you never seen it. And you know, they. Y', all, they love us there. You know, we always shot. Next thing I know is I'm getting. I'm fucking drunk. Like a boxer when he's about to get knocked out that the motherfucker's on his tippy toe. Like, I'm really like this. I'm standing up against the wall like it's like two in the afternoon. I'm like. Because I don't really drink. I feel my hand getting pulled, like, pulled in a direction. So I'm getting pulled as my wife. And I'm, like stuck inside myself. Like, I kind of know what's going on, but I'm so fucking drunk, there's nothing I can do. And she takes me to the store. You know, there's stores, you don't even want to look to the left. Them diamonds are so shiny and shit.

[Bill Burr]

They.

[Joe]

The stores we know we can't afford, like grass and shit like that. You just don't look at that shit when you walk in the mall. And all of a sudden, sudden they open the door and I go in there. Now, Nori is supposed to be the drink champ, the more professional guy. He more drunk than me. Stuck. He's stuck. He's worse than me. They sit him in the chair. The guy comes out, brings out these white gloves. How you doing, Mr. Joe? Your wife been looking at this necklace here. This is the state of the art. I'm like you. I'm in my head. Fuck your mother, you motherfucker. I'm saying. And she's looking at me like, you don't want that, right? Cause you know this ain't the store you supposed to go into. I'm like, you don't want that, right? She's like, yes, yes. And I'm fucking. I'm like this. And Nori look more scared than me. And he's the drink champ. He looking at me like, oh, shit, man. I wind up getting her that fucking necklace. This shit cost so much fucking money. I remember tippy toeing out of that shit like I was. I never did that shit again. They never caught me. I know how to learn my lesson.

[Bill Burr]

You didn't drink near a drink.

[Joe]

They never catch me in that fucking place, drunk again in my fucking life. That was like 10 years ago. They did. You're not doing it to me, shame on you. What about George Bush say, you get me one time, shame on me. They get me the second time. Fuck no. I know. I seen the play.

[Bill Burr]

That's not what he said. He said, you fool me once, shame on you. You fool me twice. Then he got confused and then he just goes, you're not gonna fool me again. That's what he said. That's what. That's why I always had. I went to summer school too, so I always forgot I had a soft spot for him as I've been there. George. Yeah, we all know what you were trying to say. It's all right.

[Joe]

Yoda.

[Jada]

Joe and jadashow.com. we got new merch, fresh off the presses. Go get it.

[Bill Burr]

Bam.

[Jada]

Out of Bing Bob going Jada, show show.com. you can get these. Little cold for T shirt. Where the hoodies at?

[Joe]

It's my favorite right there. I need an extra largeshow.com. go there. Get it.

[Jada]

Tell us about the tribute to Eddie Murphy.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, man. Afi, The American Film Institute. I didn't know what. I'm an idiot. I didn't know.

[Jada]

I didn't know if it was af1 or afi.

[Bill Burr]

I didn't know what it was.

[Jada]

I just said, tell us about the Eddie Murphy trip.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, so there was. It was on Netflix. Your boys with the stipulations. They. They were doing.

[Joe]

We love you guys.

[Bill Burr]

They were doing a. A tribute or an honoring of his whole career. So it's on a Saturday night, so it's literally Friday. And my wife goes, she says to me, she's like, how you feeling about this? You know, Cause I'm. You know. Cause I've been so volatile over the years. She always has to, like, check my emotional temperature before we go out just to see what she was gonna be involved in. So outta habit, she said, how you feeling? I was like, oh, it's great. You know, I'm showing up to this thing. I don't have to do anything. I get to like, you know, chill out and just watch this show. And it's Eddie, this is gonna be amazing. And literally right as I said that, she got a phone call and they were asking if I would go up and say a few things. And I immediately got super nervous because it's Eddie. So I quickly said yes before I would like, you know, chicken out or whatever. And yeah, I ended up having to go up there. And I don't know how you guys work, but my thing is if I write the whole. Cause I had a teleprompter. If I Write the whole thing out. I am, like, in robot mode. I am, like, in my head, and it's like I'm not connected to it. So I had to, like. I had to, like, sort of have an idea what I was gonna say. But what was cool was I saw Eddie on the raw tour in 1986 at this place. What was it called? It's called Great Woods. And what was cool was I saw Rodney Dangerfield like, a week before because he was coming off of that back to school, and they were both huge, and they were playing these giant things. And I went and I saw Rodney, and he was fun and hilarious and all that, but he had, like, an all white crowd. But I didn't notice because I was from the suburbs. So it just looked like everything I was going to. But when I saw Eddie, he had this mixed crowd. And this is before I was a comedian. I don't know why that stuck in my head, but I remember seeing it. I was like, 18. I was going, this guy is literally. He's making everybody laugh. I'm not shitting on Ronnie, but this guy had young, old, black, white, Asian. Everybody was there, and he was fucking killing. He had the purple suit, too, which I wanted to ask him about that. It's like, did you have more than one? Did you wear it the whole fucking tour?

[Joe]

He probably had more than one.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Joe]

I don't know. Some guys wear the same shit the whole tour, like, and they're not broke. They just. That's the cops.

[Jada]

Makes sense. Yeah.

[Joe]

You coming?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. But that's how. Watching him do that, I was thinking, you know, if I ever did stand up, I would want to be able to do. Make everybody laugh. You know what I mean? So. And it was a. It was really one of the best lessons I ever got. So anyway, I got to go up and say a few words. And it was. It went great, but it was super intimidating because it was him. All 10 of his kids, whoever they married. It was like the Kennedy family of comedy just staring right at you 40 years later. It was really crazy.

[Joe]

You know what I love about Eddie Murphy? In our line of business, music, a lot of the icons, a lot of the entertainers we looked up to either got on drugs or 4up, they're broke, and you see them, and it feels, like, horrible when you see some of the guys who made the biggest songs or made us laugh the most or whatever. And when I seen that documentary and it just opened up on Eddie Murphy in, like, a $90 million house, I was like, yes.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Joe]

This motherfucker ain't get high.

[Bill Burr]

You know my favorite thing he said in that documentary? He said, yeah. He goes, I never. I never got into drugs or anything. He goes, I loved myself. Which I've never heard a comedian say. You know what I mean? It was cool.

[Joe]

So even though y' all funny and y' all use humor, a lot of y' all got, like, dark past and shit like that and go through some shit.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, well, that's the thing. So you use humor. Like, a lot of times, something fucked up happens in the news, and then you have a joke about it, and they think it's because you don't care. It's the opposite. It's. It's like a. It's a way of not feeling. The feeling that you make a joke so you can get past it, so you can deal with it and blah, blah, blah. Some people, you know, some people go into music. Some people go this way. Comedians. What we do is we use humor. And the thing that I think is hard about that for your personal life is that is like. It's denying of feelings. So you just sort of stay walled off, and that can become difficult for you and the people in your life after a while.

[Joe]

Fact, do you need that outlet? You know, you need that outlet. To me, music is therapeutic. So I don't care how. You know, the other day, I'm writing this song, and Dre tells me, yo, they know you not killing motherfuckers in the bodega, Joe. They know you not selling drugs no more. But I just don't know how to not make violent music. Like, the minute the beat comes on, I just get the killing. No, that's the fucking truth. Last year, I left St. Tropez. We was on vacation. I got on the Las Stanza first class this. I threw a beat on kill your mom's nigga, Yo. It's on this that I don't know how to not do that.

[Jada]

So do it.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, why don't you. Why don't you talk about being court sized at Atlanta?

[Joe]

Well, we do that, too. Yeah, you could, you know. Of course, out of Atlanta, this is the one time I got secured. By the way, Bill, everybody's scared of me. I don't know if, you know, everybody's scared of me. And my security. I got security. But he peaceful. Pretty much. We feed him and we pay him for free. Cause he's never had to have an argument with one person in his life, right? And I told him when we went to that Atlanta Hawks game, I said, listen, this is going to be the first time in your life, you're going to earn a check because I'm ready to fight the whole stadium. I'm going down for my Knicks. Thank God everybody was gracious, everybody showed us love, but I'm an asshole when it comes to my Knicks. I got to go over there and we.

[Bill Burr]

Why are you blaming other teams? Why are you blaming other teams? It's not the Atlanta Hawks fault where the Knicks have been. They're just doing what you're trying to do. Why are you taking. It's misdirected anger.

[Joe]

Yeah, I gotta go.

[Bill Burr]

You didn't want to hear that.

[Jada]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Are you having a nervous breakdown? Like, what is happening right now? Like, what the fuck? It just got eerily silent here.

[Joe]

Some people, man. Some people just. You're right. You're fucking right. Like, it's like, you know, some people got problems. I gotta. Fuck.

[Bill Burr]

I'm just gonna start doing what you're doing. I'm just gonna do what you're doing.

[Jada]

That's it.

[Bill Burr]

You see? Just do this. You do this every once in a while.

[Jada]

Stretch it out. You know what I mean? Come back.

[Bill Burr]

You're really. You're patient. You got that down. I'm trying to work on that patience.

[Joe]

Well, if I had another guy that was crazy like me, we have beef with the whole planet Earth. Thank God he could pull me down to. Joe, Chill.

[Bill Burr]

What are you. What are you really upset about? If you had your nephew.

[Joe]

I don't give a fuck about him. I didn't really know he was a piece of.

[Bill Burr]

Well, your nephew's affecting your life way more than the Atlanta Hawks, and it seemed like you had way more like, aggression towards them.

[Joe]

If I'm upset about anything, it's that I hate getting old. Like, I like to be forever young and I want to live forever. So I want the drugs to hurry up and come. I know once I die, they're going to make the shit that make you live for 200 years. What's the shit now? You got the shit that make you Health, the Peptides and all that. But I want you.

[Bill Burr]

You like the direction shit is in. You want to see how this plays out?

[Joe]

Nah. This is going to be.

[Bill Burr]

They're coming out with cars in 2027 that have all AI surveillance. They're setting this up where one person can run the world because their armies used to get spread out too thin. You're on two fronts and you would lose. So this is what they're doing. Like those fucking cars, man. That don't have a driver. They're going to sell those to people like, oh, yeah, now you can fucking sleep on the way to work. And it's like, yeah, that's also your own police car. Like, if they decide to make you think you're going to the gym, you said the wrong thing. They're taking you to that alligator island, and there's nothing you can do. Sweatpants.

[Joe]

I'll be thinking about thinking.

[Bill Burr]

You're gonna talk to the barber down there, and you're not gonna. Are you gonna talk to the barber? There's no post office.

[Joe]

Are you gonna own robots?

[Bill Burr]

No, I, I.

[Joe]

You live long enough. Are you gonna own robots? Yeah.

[Jada]

Robots now.

[Joe]

No, no, I'm gonna own a fucking robot. Yo.

[Jada]

Made me.

[Joe]

Kane. Gisa.

[Bill Burr]

See, that's the mistake is you think you're gonna own it. That's the mistake.

[Joe]

The robot's gonna own me.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that's a surveillance. You're bugging your own house. Everybody, they're doing fucking refrigerators.

[Joe]

Oh, no. Everybody's bugged in the house. Yeah. Why? See, this guy killed the girl. The fucking. The singer, what's his name?

[Bill Burr]

Joe. Don't get. Don't get a robot and bring it in your house.

[Jada]

Never heard of.

[Joe]

I'm already surveilled all day. They tapped my ass. I'm tapped out.

[Jada]

Lights went out.

[Bill Burr]

Off.

[Joe]

I tapped the lights went out.

[Jada]

Yeah, the Lord turned the lights up. They tapped your ass.

[Joe]

Nah, that's the super pause.

[Bill Burr]

Oh.

[Joe]

What I'm trying to tell you is that I was trying to tell him

[Bill Burr]

earlier that the barber isn't your biggest problem. When you go to jail, you don't even gotta.

[Joe]

We are fucking tapped. Everywhere you go, we are tapped for some reason. Good stuff. So I drove my wife's car the other day, and I tried to get my Bluetooth in. I wanted to hear some Jaheem, right? And it wouldn't take. And one of my friends would say, man, you might have a good luck. It ain't going in your wife's shit. Every phone call come your way is. They can hear everything. God damn it. You know, when you got your phone to the laptop, my man was like, yo, man, God is looking out. He trying to make sure your phone don't go up on the. You know, I don't know what you're talking about, but, yeah, I think. I think we're surveilled. I don't never feel like we're not surveilled, so I don't never say shit that I wouldn't say if there weren't a hundred people right in my face, and even if it sounds bad, I don't give a fuck. I would say it in front of a hundred people. Sometimes I'm very opinionated. Sometimes I say some shit that right? I just don't give a fuck. I'm going through that trauma you used to go through.

[Jada]

You got it, Bill, you got it?

[Joe]

Yeah, Bill, you got it. Yo, Bill, let me tell you something, man.

[Jada]

Let me tell you something, man.

[Joe]

Let me tell you about the number one ratings, Bill. We came. Speaking of the robot, we came, we put up the podcast, and let me tell you something. These other podcasts, they look like fucking dinosaurs right now. They're doing, like, Robot man for real. Like, I look at. I try to look at all these podcasts, maybe 10 minutes, I'm like, man, these guys in trouble. Like, you even get with the program or not? Our got fluidity. I. Every day we got a different fluidity. We got a different person.

[Bill Burr]

Can't you just do a podcast and not start beef with every other podcast out there?

[Joe]

I mean, my shit is beef, really.

[Bill Burr]

It's a peaceful. It's a peaceful space to. Anybody can do it. You don't have to come after all these people.

[Joe]

Nah, I want beef with everybody. But you figured it out. You. There's only one exception.

[Bill Burr]

Who you going after first?

[Joe]

I went at Every.

[Bill Burr]

Does Ellen DeGeneres have one you don't like?

[Joe]

I tried, though. I tried. Like, I'm not gonna lie to you. I try to start, like, the east coast, west coast, north, south podcast. I tried first episode. I was like, fuck everybody. Whoever won, nobody responded. Like, they. Nobody responded. Nobody went for it. All right, I can't.

[Bill Burr]

I can't. How much longer?

[Joe]

Like, well, you.

[Bill Burr]

I just can't. Like this. None of this makes you want to

[Joe]

beef with Pete Davidson. You don't want to be with Pete.

[Bill Burr]

You start everything. You just step into insanity. There's like, the logical, and you just.

[Jada]

Yeah, you just step into it.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Like, I have been trying to go talk to you, and it's just like, I don't know where to jump in.

[Joe]

Bill Burke, people who really know you, they be like, yo, that's the wrong guy to give you that fucking therapy right there. Yo, two time, we got a coffee. NBA talk. So you like, what. What's your take?

[Bill Burr]

Did you just order a coffee in the middle of all of that? That was just like, fucking, like. What just happened? You were. You were here. You were at a restaurant.

[Joe]

You just said you in a Fucking Taliban cave shooting your show. You don't give a fuck. It's connected to the phone. You good to go? We got this one off just at

[Bill Burr]

a hot

[Joe]

same hotel room. If you put that light to see where the semens at in that room, you wouldn't want to sleep in that.

[Bill Burr]

All right. I'm glad I did my podcast before I talked to you. Jesus Christ. All right, you were gonna bring up what? NBA.

[Joe]

NBA?

[Bill Burr]

I'm a hockey guy. I watch hockey. Oh, yeah, I heard it. That's what I do when somebody brings up NBA.

[Jada]

Who's laughing? The playoffs right now.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, it's the first round. So everybody's left.

[Jada]

Everybody's left. Who's the best team in the hockey?

[Bill Burr]

Probably the Avalanche, and I'd say in the east is probably Carolina. But the best first round matchup has been, I feel has been Canadiens versus the Tampa Bay Lightning. Like, the first three games went into overtime. And then also it's good when it's good for hockey, when the Canadians are good, even though they're, like, always right.

[Joe]

Yeah, they're always good, right?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. It's like baseball wasn't fun when the Yankees sucked in the 80s. It's like, as a Boston fan, I want to beat him, but I don't want to beat them when they stink, you know? You want to.

[Joe]

You want to Boston. One time I went to Boston and I had a Yankee hat on and no fucking restaurant would let me eat dinner there because I had a Yankee hat on and I wouldn't take the shit off. Yeah, I went to like eight fucking restaurants. You guys are terrible over there, boss. Yeah, I hate the Yankees like that. Right?

[Bill Burr]

We did until we won and then the movie ended. And then ESPN tries to keep it going, but there's.

[Jada]

It's not the same.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, it's like you would chant 1918, then we won. So you can't chant that. You got 27. Nobody's going to catch up with that. So there's really nothing going on. And at this point, it's kind of about the Dodgers, where they're. They're sort of like a hedge fund spending like a billion dollars. I don't know. I'm. I'm not into that. Like, it's going to cause a strike,

[Joe]

I think the Dodgers.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Because then other players are going to want to get paid the way they're getting paid on the Dodgers. And then the other owners, certainly the owners, like the Pittsburgh Pirates, who should be kicked out. Their owners should be kicked out. They're not gonna Wanna pay anybody. So then there'll be, like, a lockout and that dumb shit.

[Joe]

So the Pittsburgh Pirates don't pay well

[Bill Burr]

because they have, like, that whole, you know, somehow, like the collective revenue of the TV contracts. I don't know how it is, but, like, they can somehow own that team and never try to be competitive and still make, like, millions and millions of dollars. No, it's brutal. Because they were so.

[Joe]

It's like a tank.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, They've been tanking since Barry Bonds.

[Joe]

Since Willie Starjew.

[Bill Burr]

No, no. Willie Starju was the real, real deal. But they were winning them. They won in, like, 61. They won one in the early 70s, and they won in 79 and didn't do so well in the 80s. And somewhere along, these guys came in and bought that team. And that ended up. And they. They. They were just in it for the money. It's terrible.

[Joe]

You know what's crazy is I'm a

[Jada]

big

[Joe]

Yankee fan, but I really love that guy on the Dodgers, the Asian guy. Fucking incredible, this guy. He'll pitch a game. He'll hit a home run a game. He'll play the outfit. This guy is fucking.

[Bill Burr]

No, he's.

[Joe]

He's in Babe Ruth.

[Bill Burr]

He's second coming.

[Joe]

Better than Babe.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Cause he's playing against everybody.

[Joe]

He's pitching. He's playing the field. He's fucking hitting. He's better than Babe Ruth.

[Bill Burr]

Babe Ruth did win a Cy Young for pitching, though.

[Joe]

He did?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, he did.

[Joe]

I didn't know.

[Jada]

No, I didn't know

[Joe]

the Babe. You got any of your fucking intelligent questions over there?

[Jada]

I asked him things that he came here to be asked. Now, let me tell you something.

[Bill Burr]

Listen.

[Joe]

Yo, Bill, man, thank you for coming to the show, man. We.

[Jada]

Don't forget my tickets, man. I'm coming to see you live on tour.

[Bill Burr]

It was an honor to come here. I'm a huge fan of both of you guys, and I love what you're doing here.

[Joe]

Thank you.

[Bill Burr]

And, yeah, this is that Eddie Murphy thing I learned go on every podcast. Everybody comes to your show. It's a better show. So. Yeah. Cause they have me on the white guy email list. Live Nation does. So they just put out the blast. And I couldn't figure out why. Cause I would come and I would, you know, wherever I'd be, I'd run into some black guy, would come up to me and be like, oh, man, I love your shit. When are you doing a show? I was like, oh, I was last night. I was right over there. How come I didn't know. How come I didn't know.

[Joe]

Do you know what I think?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that's what they do.

[Joe]

Certain white people don't know they're cool in the hood like that. Like, they just don't. Cause fucking last week, Maury Povich came there, and I fucking thought, like, the best guy in the universe. Like, I didn't know how much of a fan of Maury. I'm sitting here like, what the. This is Maury Povich. You are the father. The whole time, I swear to God, I'm like, this shit is fucking.

[Bill Burr]

No, but I think that's the. That's one of the best things as a performer, when someone as different as you could be comes up and says that they like your stuff. You know, Some guy from, like, Kazakhstan stopped me on the street and was saying, oh, I love you. I love your stuff. I was just like, all right, that's. That's. You know. You got a comedy club over there. I'll. I'll head over.

[Joe]

You know, you go to Morocco. They got the little guy. You know about the little guy? He got a guy about this little.

[Bill Burr]

All right, his hoodie's up. So I'm. I'm. I'm in. I'm in on this one. Okay.

[Joe]

Have you met the little guy? There's a little guy.

[Bill Burr]

By the way, this did not come unnoticed. That. This matches this. I mean, I don't know how long it takes black guys to get dressed in the morning, but that. That is fucking impressive.

[Joe]

That is impressive.

[Bill Burr]

That would take me. That would take me six months, Jada, just to find that fucking guy over here.

[Joe]

Let me tell you something. There's a little guy. There's a little guy in Morocco. He's a fucking grown man with a suit this big. And you meet him. He'd be in the clubs and shit like that. How did you meet this guy in the clubs? But, you know, we got the proof. Fritz Montana came in. He's from Morocco. He said he knows the little guy. And then we've seen video and pictures. We got him on the.

[Bill Burr]

Okay, there's the little guy in Morocco. What does he do?

[Joe]

He's smaller than a watermelon. They got a picture of him with a suit on a watermelon, sitting like he was on the fucking Mount Rushmore.

[Jada]

He's that little.

[Bill Burr]

He's got a vibe.

[Joe]

He's the man. He's got a vibe? He's got a vibe because you said Kazakhstan. The only thing I can think of in Kazakhstan is Borat, Borat, Borat, Borat. No,

[Bill Burr]

I want to hear about.

[Joe]

He's alive. Go Google this guy. That's who he's talking. He's the real guy. Everybody thought he's lying. Yes, I knew it's real.

[Bill Burr]

First of all, he's like six.

[Joe]

No, he's a grown man.

[Bill Burr]

Where's the camera? Yeah, he still looks like. I'm not saying he's not a dwarf.

[Jada]

Did somebody get how old he is?

[Bill Burr]

All right, okay. He's too young to be in the club. Whatever the.

[Joe]

No, I knew a Dominican guy like that, too. Apparently, those little guys.

[Bill Burr]

I think you got a fetish, dude. I've been up to a bunch of countries. I don't run into these little guys.

[Joe]

Believe it in that picture. Bill, he was 20. He was 20. I don't know. No, he's a grown ass man. Nelson died. The one from Fort. He knows multiple of them south of Domingo. A new guy used to hang out with us in the Bronx. You know who used to hang out with us? Stephen Baldwin. You know Stephen Baldwin? Yes, the handsome brother. He used to come down to the Bronx with us. What happened? The handsome brother. He used to hang out with us.

[Bill Burr]

You know, I got to do a benefit tomorrow. Just letting you know if you're going

[Joe]

to wrap this up, my brother. All right. We're going to wrap. Y' all, check this out. This ain't that.

[Jada]

That ain't this.

[Joe]

It's cracking.

[Bill Burr]

Kiss.

[Jada]

Make some noise for Bill Burr, baby.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Hey, thank you so much for having me. Thank you. Thank you.

[Joe]

Thank you, brother.

[Bill Burr]

Easiest podcast ever.