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Bill Burr
Dude, you are a character, man. No, you are a. You are. You're not even trying and you just are.
Joe
Listen.
Jada
Insane.
Bill Burr
It's like a tick. He can't say something. He said you grew up in a loud house. Listen, let me tell you something.
Jada
Tell you something.
Bill Burr
I got. Hey, Joe has something to say.
Joe
Yeah, yeah. What up, y'?
Jada
All?
Joe
Freedom of speech. This is Joe cracking dawn. Let's get to it, baby.
Jada
Your boy Jada. You know what it is? The Joe and Jada show. Every show legendary. Every show iconic. And we got the pressure on. Today's show is very iconic. When you think of today's guest, they wrote this in collegiate feature parted.
Bill Burr
I like that I'm a legend, but he's got to read what I did,
Joe
right?
Bill Burr
I want to.
Jada
Yeah.
Joe
Yo, you want to get it right?
Jada
We don't want take, guys.
Bill Burr
All right,
Joe
let him go.
Jada
All right, Let me give you the back. Give me your flower.
Joe
Let him set you up right.
Jada
He's going to One take everything. One take. Over here we got this new deal with Netflix. There's a lot of stipulations and rules and I mean, so if I just give my bill burn. They're gonna call back. We gotta do some read overs and take this out and, you know, stipulations. Yeah.
Joe
Okay, let's see if you can read this.
Jada
I can definitely read it.
Joe
No, I mean, like, you can't read. I mean your eyes, brother.
Jada
My eyes ain't like your leg, okay?
Bill Burr
What do you think it's wrong with this leg?
Joe
Don't listen to this guy. This shit working properly.
Bill Burr
He had polio.
Jada
He got it.
Joe
I ain't got shit in my leg.
Jada
That calf right there. Look at my shit in the Google.
Joe
My sin is in the Lloyd's in London. It's the best in the Lloyds in London.
Bill Burr
Would you blow out your Achilles?
Joe
No, I don't.
Jada
He blew out his calf.
Bill Burr
Not even doing sports.
Jada
Huh?
Bill Burr
Doing sports or just rapping, dodging bullets, jumping over camels?
Jada
When you think of today's guest, you think of a man who built himself from nothing. No gimmicks, no safety net. Just raw truth and the balls to say what everybody else is thinking. A stand up legend, Broadway star. A podcasting pioneers with millions of loyal listeners worldwide. Emmy nominee, Grammy nominee, about to be a major motion picture star. A man who went from the streets of Boston to Hulu specials.
Bill Burr
Nah, I was in the suburbs.
Jada
The suburbs of Boston. Excuse me. To the Broadway stage. And Stills finds time to argue about Biggie and pack. Funny as Hell, brutally honest and one of the most respected comedians alive today. Make some noise for the one and only Bill Burr.
Bill Burr
All right, thank you. I don't know if I can follow that.
Joe
Try to tell you. He's gonna. All right, he's gonna give you the rollout. Just stay patient, you know. How do you do your podcast? You gotta set up like this?
Bill Burr
No, I just. I have a microphone that I, I, I. I put into my phone, and I just. I do it that way.
Joe
People, man, they ain't gotta spend no money for this.
Bill Burr
It's not true.
Joe
Nothing that's. Yeah, I seen what's my man the other day. He's my man, too. Pete. Pete Davis, Pete Davidson. That in his mother's basement or some eating nacho cheese. Number one, right? Like, you ain't gotta do.
Bill Burr
It's not true. It's not true. Like, everybody, Everybody. This is how they all started. They started with just, you know, when. When it first came out. I started doing the podcast in the late 2000s. You actually called up a phone service and recorded your phone call. Yeah, like a flip phone. You would record the podcast, and it started off as five minutes, and it became 10, and then people started writing in and that type of stuff. And then most people moved on to this having, like, a studio or something. But I didn't want to have a guest because I didn't want to deal with people, you know, artists being like, oh, was that today? Blah, blah, blah. And then I got to, like, you know, you know, just do all this extra work and stuff. And I already. I already got enough shit in my life, so I just wanted to keep it simple. And I also like doing it, like, more like underground type of thing, you know, where it's just whatever I say, I say. And then I don't edit it, you know, I didn't want it to be a bunch of work, so I never progressed. If I have a guest, we go into a studio. But if it's just like I did one this morning, I just did it in the hotel room. It's easy.
Jada
You got the. I like that. You get it done wherever you at.
Bill Burr
Yeah. And plus, Netflix never came to me going, you know what we want you to. Yeah, we want you to be. Yeah, I've never. I've never.
Joe
We spend the bag, you know? We spend the bag, you know, Motherfuckers hitting us from all over. Officially, everybody that works for us got to connect with Jordan. New Balance. There's the two time a felon. They sending them New Balance now from the Penny loafers. Kelly come in with the new Travis on. Everybody got new on their feet out here like this. Apparently they getting seated by all the top brands in the country because they work on the Joe and Jada show.
Bill Burr
Yeah, but then with that comes stipulations, as he said. And I can't deal with that.
Joe
I don't like any bit of Bill's time. But I want to know what happened to you at the casino this weekend. Because they call me the Indians. They say your partner, man, he don't want to get off the table, man. What was it, man? What was the atmosphere? Why did he.
Jada
My free time. I liked it.
Joe
Play blackjack, it's not a problem. I'm not.
Jada
I lost my shirt.
Joe
Lost your shirt?
Jada
I had to stay another day and get my shirt.
Joe
You got a backup go. I, I, I, I don't gamble, right. I gamble for the sake of the show. Cold.
Bill Burr
I don't know how he sounds like that guy that gets prostitutes who goes like you're paying for it anyway.
Joe
You are.
Bill Burr
No, there's a difference.
Joe
Typically larger amount when you do it at home. When you pay for it at home, you paying a large amount now. I got a 19 year old daughter, I'm paying twice. What are you talking about? This shit is this bag that you
Bill Burr
should be in the clear at.19, right?
Joe
Hell no. It just started.19.
Jada
Clearport.
Joe
Fuck out of here. These people, man, are you crazy? I got one nephew now, he says he's not going to move, he's a hoarder. Yeah, my name's on the shit. I tell him, yo, Jon Jon, it's time you, you gotta get about, you know what I'm saying? Get a job, do something. He talking about he knows his rights. My nephew's a fucking order.
Bill Burr
He's a squatter. He's not your nephew.
Joe
He's not an order. He's the squatter. He's not my nephew no more today. I said, man, let him.
Bill Burr
So how are you? What pressure are you going to do?
Joe
And did it on the way in, right here, coming up upstairs.
Jada
They told me, y', all, yes, what are you gonna do?
Bill Burr
That's a hard one. Cause that's so relative.
Joe
No, I sent some guys over there to beat the shit out of him and pull him up out of the apartment. He's gonna get pounded.
Bill Burr
No, you didn't. You wouldn't say that on the podcast. You just incriminated yourself. Why would you do that?
Joe
That's family business, man.
Bill Burr
You're not allowed to beat the shit outta Your family member. Is that some loophole?
Joe
That's where you really got permission to fuck up your family, right? What's next, Jon Jones taking the stand against me? Like, yo, this is.
Bill Burr
That's where that's gonna go. That is gonna get really ugly. And then people are gonna take sides. You gotta deal with that immediately, man.
Joe
It's hard. You've been doing this a long time. How hard is it for you to be the stupid?
Bill Burr
You have to say from the first one. You have to be like, this is a one time only. If you're getting that sense from somebody, you know? But a lot of times, scumbags, they're good at hiding that. So then you gotta kind of like, anticipate it. No, that's happened to me. I'm speaking from. Wasn't a relative, but, like, you know, I don't like talking about that shit. But, yeah, you can get into that problem quickly. So what I always say to somebody is, if you're struggling, all right, if you're reaching up, I'll try to pull you out. But if you're face down digging it deeper, I'm not helping you out. And that's what you're doing right now. And then, you know, people who do shit like that usually don't take accountability. So then they try, oh, you changed. And you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, I grew up in a
Joe
project building with a thousand families, so I done got hit with every. I done paid for 200 funerals. No bullshit. The other day I came out the Nick game and some random dude came up to me like, yo, you paid for my uncle's funeral, man. Thank you, Joe. Just like survivor's guilt. My shit is legendary. Like, I took care of hundreds of guys. And they're all pieces of shits, too. They all end up pieces of shits. No, I'm telling you the truth. They all. I wasted my time and my money with these motherfuckers. Like, it's like, because of what?
Bill Burr
Loyalty?
Joe
Huh?
Bill Burr
Because of loyalty?
Joe
Because your sense of saying you loyal.
Jada
Look at that.
Joe
I got a nephew. I've been paying his bills for, like, for years and years and years. Now he's saying he's a squatter. He's not going to move. He's a piece of shit, right? I mean, there's no other way to take it around that whether. Get that one back.
Bill Burr
It's a calculating piece of shit.
Joe
It's a piece of shit. Well, he's not that intelligent. Somebody fed him the system. Somebody told John, John the system.
Bill Burr
Then just tell him he isn't right. Because if he didn't read it, he's not going to know it.
Joe
And then, you know my sister.
Bill Burr
Oh, you don't gamble, though. He gambles. You got to have him do it.
Joe
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Jada
And you could taste the difference.
Joe
For real.
Jada
The 1800 Cristilino and Resposado is what we've been on lately. Smooth, clean, elevated. No rough edges. Just a premium pour that speaks for itself. You know when something is just built, right? That's what this is.
Joe
Real talk. That's just what it is. It's always around for the best nights. The wins, the celebrations. Then remember that night stories.
Jada
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Joe
Pow. Pow. All you want is normal family, right? Does anybody have normal family? You have normal family?
Jada
A percentage. I think everybody got a percent.
Joe
Like a percentage.
Jada
Nobody's whole family is normal.
Joe
Nobody's family's normal?
Jada
No, not every last. You can't go from the whole tree and everybody's normal. Every leaf on the tree ain't no the family tree.
Joe
You got crazy family, too. What would you describe as your crazy family members?
Bill Burr
All of us have our own brand of it. All of us have our own brand.
Joe
Yeah, but what would you compare one of your crazy family members?
Bill Burr
What do you mean? To what?
Joe
Crazy. Like a crazy uncle, Crazy aunt you go to.
Bill Burr
It's just more like trauma and however you processed it. So, like with me, I was like I used to be. I kind of had this miracle. I got over my anger, which I didn't think was ever gonna happen. Yeah, I just.
Joe
It's called heart attack or stroke at this age. Like, you gotta calm that shit down.
Jada
Yeah, yeah.
Bill Burr
No, it was just time. I was just. I was done. I figured it out through an acting gig because I figured out why I was fucked up. I had to do some scene. I'll just tell it to you quickly. I had to do some scene and I was just reading the lines and it was making me emotional and it wasn't a Sad scene. And I couldn't figure out why. And I was like, oh, because this is, you know, I don't know, just how you were raised to be a man. You had to like lock away 99% of your emotions. But when I act, these. These characters are feeling shit that's in the vault. So I open that up and what comes out is other shit that's been trying to. Because you think like, oh, you know, if you're gonna cry as a guy, like, I'm not crying. And you think it went away. It didn't. It's still there. And then it like comes out during the holidays or some shit, you know, but you should have just fucking cried it out. So I got on the other side of that. I figured that out. Like, I kind of opened the door. So now I can feel all the emotions. And so I have options rather than flipping out, laughing, or saying, I don't give a fuck. So that's kind of like in as far as like other people in my family. I don't like talking about what. Cause, you know, whatever. We all went through it in our own way. So I processed it finally. It's weird, man. I didn't think it was gonna take that long, but it did.
Joe
It's crazy.
Jada
Better late than never late.
Bill Burr
No, now it's weird. Cause now I'm like kind of happy. Go lucky. And I'm not an angry dude around the house. So my wife, you know, she doesn't quite trust it yet after 20 something years of flipping out over nothing. But now she's starting to kind of understand it. So it's been cool. No, no, no.
Joe
It's cool too. You know, I do my art in my office and I just mind my business. It's like therapeutic. And they know he's in there and I'm just minding my business. I think she got a good setup. Like nowadays, I don't trust nobody. I don't trust. I don't go nowhere. So if that's what you wanted, your man in that house, that he's got
Bill Burr
that 600 yard stare when he's talking about. I can see all the shit you've been through.
Joe
Yeah, I'm telling you the truth. I don't trust nobody no more. I don't want to go nowhere no more. I go to Atlanta. I go to Atlanta for the game. For the game. When I tell you the second I walk off the plane, most beautiful girl comes up to me, Joey, I'm saying the second, you know, it's all you had there the door opened up and you got the girls that do the wheelchair and a beautiful girl. Joey, welcome to the A. I'm like, seek the kingdom, nigga. Seek the kingdom.
Bill Burr
I don't know what that means.
Joe
Stay in the Lord's grace. Seek the kingdom. I walk two, three steps, Joey. I'm like, nah, this ain't. It's. The devil's in the air.
Bill Burr
I gotta stay. Well, you know, if a beautiful woman's pushing a wheelchair, you know there's something wrong.
Joe
Well, it wasn't her.
Jada
Yeah.
Joe
Yeah, it wasn't her.
Bill Burr
Oh, all right. I was gonna say that doesn't. That doesn't line up with me.
Joe
Was like, oh, I didn't know you wanted to same flight as me. And just fucking, you know, immediately nicely.
Bill Burr
I have a lot of empathy for Nick fans.
Joe
You do?
Bill Burr
Yeah, I do. Because one of my best friends, Paul Verze, stand up comedian, like his belief. Every year, it's almost. It hurts me as a friend to see how much he believes. Every October. It's like that guy who just can't break up with that girl, you know, it's just like, she's gonna break your heart.
Joe
Call me Pendejo Records. They say I'm signing up Pendejo Record. That's like Sucker Records. Every year, I think the Knicks are gonna win. I go through this.
Jada
You gotta introduce them to your man. Cause they got the same.
Bill Burr
They got the same disease.
Joe
You don't have it. Kiss. You sound like you a fake fan. I'm not a fake fan. So why you saying everything?
Jada
You don't even.
Joe
All right, so what's the problem? Everything.
Jada
New York.
Joe
Yeah, I'm definitely not a Giants to jets fan.
Jada
I got everything.
Joe
New York, I'm US Open.
Bill Burr
You're a tennis fan?
Joe
Yes.
Bill Burr
I heard it in that. Yes.
Joe
No, no.
Bill Burr
He was like, yes.
Joe
I love it. Let me tell you something. The biggest secret. Let me tell you something.
Bill Burr
You can just tell it to me, Joe. You don't have to wind up with free intros. Let me tell you something today, I'm
Joe
saying for the white people, but not just because you're obviously Caucasian. But the Caucasians have kept stuff away from us that we didn't know that we should be. We never knew about the US Open. I went over there a couple of years ago. Everybody got her mess on. They feeding you lobster? Benny honors over. I said this shit. I could get you there. I could be a fucking squad. No, the catering is off the chain. US Open is beautiful. I went to a hockey game two years ago. It was the most lit, fun shit you ever been to. You ever been to a hockey game? No. The best place you'll ever go in your life. But the white people never told us that. They never say, yo, this is actually.
Bill Burr
Joe, it's on tv.
Joe
Really fun.
Bill Burr
It's on tv. It's on tv. But I know what you're saying, though, because tennis is not even for all white people.
Joe
Well, who's it for, then?
Jada
Certain way.
Bill Burr
Yeah, certain.
Joe
For the elite.
Bill Burr
Formula One. Those are all Illuminati. Golf, tennis, F1. Yeah, well, that's the thing. They. They make. They make all white people feel like they're part of the Wimbledon club. Oh, so we do what we're supposed to do against you guys so they can take all of it. That's what they do. So they make it seem. I went to Wilmington. I went to Wilmington last year. Joe, if I get a word. Yeah, I fucking. I did. I fucking did. I feel like. I feel like he's on my podcast. He's the guest. I went to Wimbledon earlier this year, and like, dude, the level of white there was, like. It was astounding to me. It was astounding to me. And I was. I was with this woman. I go, you want to freak any of these guys out? I go, just walk up to any of them and just sit down next to them and whisper in their ear, go, hey, I know what you did. And then walk away and just watch the.
Joe
No, that's just crazy. Yeah, no, I did that to me.
Bill Burr
They all have, like, that heart attack spray in their front breast pocket.
Joe
Yeah, I'll be fucked for, like a month. Like, yo, who is that woman that
Jada
just came up and said, that would freak me.
Joe
That shit will bug me the fuck out. But you know what? Before you.
Bill Burr
But they were sitting next to the fucking.
Joe
Before you came, Royals was here. She. She's. She's white right now, I think. So I agree with that experience at the Atlanta. It's different kind of white people. You just told you that? No, no, but I'm confirming. I went to the fucking Atlanta game.
Bill Burr
The Knicks in the Atlanta.
Joe
And they had the white. You know, the white. Different kind of white people.
Bill Burr
The Knicks in the Atlanta.
Jada
Knicks.
Bill Burr
The Hawks.
Joe
Knicks against the Hawks.
Bill Burr
Yes.
Joe
But sitting behind me were these white people. And, you know, they're like George Bush and Barbara Bush. Like, it's a different kind of white. Like, they. They don't get out much. They just come for the game, and they were looking like, who's this fat motherfucker from New York that they're allowing to act like a complete ass to
Bill Burr
sit in front of me.
Joe
Sit in front of me and act like an asshole in the most legendary way. Like they were. Look, they were trying to figure this shit out. Like, you know, they went back home to ride horses and shit like that. Like, this shit was crazy.
Bill Burr
Wait a minute.
Joe
I know who they are.
Bill Burr
You also being obnoxious, though. So it's not all them.
Joe
I'm not a good sport. I'm a bad sport. I'm terrible.
Bill Burr
You know, in Atlanta, they built them a brand new baseball stadium. And my people would not drive into it because they didn't like the traffic. So then they just gave it to Georgia Tech, I believe. And then they built a whole new one that has just as much traffic. But everybody shows up now.
Jada
That's it,
Joe
you know, the strangest things happen, you know. So I seen Dolan. You know Dolan, the owner of the Knicks?
Bill Burr
Yeah, the musician.
Joe
He's the musician. That's my guy. That's my guy. But when I tell you, Dolan looks, for the most part, like, watch him tomorrow's game. He look like he don't want to say hi to nobody. Dolan don't let I know.
Jada
Cause he eat. He was at game seven at the last time they was in the Eastern Conference finals like this.
Bill Burr
He was asleep.
Joe
He didn't even give a. I said,
Jada
yo, he gotta be the hardest owner. He was in the front snoring.
Joe
The man saw me at seven.
Jada
The niggas going bent, Ben, bent. He like this. That's when you got too much money. He didn't even care about it.
Bill Burr
I think he's into music.
Jada
Yeah.
Bill Burr
Like, I think if it was a band. I think he pays attention.
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Joe
What you like, what you love.
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Jada
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Bill Burr
Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving. And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset. So enjoy this 14 second session on us. I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available and so on. And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better, too. Liberty. Liberty.
Jada
Liberty.
Bill Burr
Liberty.
Chelsea Handler
This season on on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler. We have some fantastic guests like Emilia Clarke.
Joe
When, like young people come up to me and they want to be an actor or whatever, my first thing is always, can you think of anything else that you can do?
Chelsea Handler
I'd rather be disappointed in. Do that Dennis Leary.
Joe
I wake up and I'm hitting him in the head with a water bottle.
Bill Burr
And Bruce Jenner is on the aisle in a karate stance like he's about
Joe
to attack me, like making karate noises.
Bill Burr
And here's the entire the Kardashian family over there.
Joe
Everybody's going, and the air marshal is
Bill Burr
trying to grab my arms and screaming.
Joe
And I immediately know that I've been sleepwalking.
Chelsea Handler
David Oyelowo.
Bill Burr
I love this podcast. Whether it's therapy or relationships or religion
Joe
or sex or addiction or you just
Bill Burr
go straight for the guts guy Branham.
Chelsea Handler
So anyway, Nicole Kidman broke up with Keith Urban.
Joe
Being half of a country couple was always a hat she was going to wear, not like a life she was going to lead.
Chelsea Handler
Oh, interesting. I like that. Did you practice that on your way over? Gaten Matarazzo from Stranger Things, Tana Mongeau, Camilla Marone, Carrie, Kenny Silver, and more. Listen to these episodes of Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jacob Kingston grew up in an isolated polygamous sect.
Jada
We were God's chosen kingdom on earth.
Chelsea Handler
He felt destined for greatness. So when a swaggering Armenian businessman catapults Jacob into an extraordinary world, he doesn't look back.
Bill Burr
Ferraris and Lamborghinis, private jets meeting the president of turkey.
Chelsea Handler
I'm Michelle McPhee and this is one of the most shows shocking criminal conspiracies I've ever come across.
Joe
When Jacob met Lavon, this went to
Bill Burr
a billion dollar fraud.
Chelsea Handler
But with two kings from entirely different worlds. Just how long can their empire survive?
Bill Burr
The largest tax investigation in American history. You need to tell me what you know. Is somebody coming after me? Jacob told Lavon. You're ruining my life.
Chelsea Handler
Listen to Kingdom of Fraud starting on May 12th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Joe
What would you eat if you had to start over?
Bill Burr
Real simple, poor man's poor woman's food.
Joe
Black beans, chicken, rice, plantains. Yeah, that's always. That's poor people's food, man.
Bill Burr
But being Nigerian, that's come on a
Joe
go to on the podcast Eating While broke. I sit down with celebrities, entrepreneurs and creators as they revisit the meals they once relied on and the moments that shaped their journey. Named best food podcast at the 2026 iHeart Podcast Awards, this show is all about real conversations on money, growth and what it really takes to make it. It was times where me and Lex will like definitely get into it because we not making any money. Like I need to start making more. Like why are we doing this? But I don't know. I think we just always knew that we had something really good and eventually people were gonna catch on and so we just thugged it out. The full season is available to binge right now. Listen to Eating Wall Broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. You know I'm into graffiti and they dropped a new video yesterday. Right. Not guilty for it. And I'm into the only going to running to YouTube to see the guys who hit the train. It's just everybody got their own. He wouldn't get off the tables. I got the call, right? Me, I'm addicted to graffiti. What's your addiction, man? What do is it?
Bill Burr
It was booze.
Joe
It's not fentanyl?
Bill Burr
No, no. You worked in Vancouver.
Joe
I worked in Vancouver.
Bill Burr
That fucking skid row puts LA to shame.
Joe
Free drugs.
Bill Burr
Yeah, well, they decriminalized it. So they just come here and do
Joe
your drugs, sell the drugs for free. When I went to Canada and I seen this, I thought they let you sell drugs free. This is easy.
Bill Burr
This is.
Joe
This is easy.
Bill Burr
You can't interrupt and then go. Go ahead.
Jada
Yeah, tell them.
Joe
Tell them what you was.
Bill Burr
I was trying to.
Jada
Cool, well, let me hear about this.
Bill Burr
So this shit is. They decriminalized drugs because they, they. They acknowledge that addiction is a disease, but they just stopped there. They didn't then try to get him help, as far as I can tell. So they're just out there. Fucking smoke. It's insane. And everybody folded in half. That Fennie fold is insane. Like, dude, I'm telling you guys that before the drugs couldn't touch their toes and now their face is like looking at their hands.
Joe
Pilates.
Bill Burr
Yeah, that's what I was joking. Nobody on fentanyl has ever pulled a hammy. No, never. They sit there for 20 minutes, fucking head down to the ground.
Joe
They got the strongest hammock in Pennsylvania. In Philly, it's called tranq. It's tranquilizer. You in America, you watch when you go home, you go on YouTube and look for Philadelphia Tranq. You won't believe this.
Bill Burr
Okay, what is that?
Joe
Zombies. Zombies.
Bill Burr
Every time you think they think it's not going to go further, somebody figures it out.
Joe
The furthest it can go, other than death.
Bill Burr
As of right now, yeah.
Joe
You see them bring guys back to life. They overdosed and the guy's mad that they woke them up. Like, yo, that shit was the best shit. Why you woke me up. You fucked up my high. Like, it's out of control. But what I was going to say to you is, I used to sell drugs, right? So there's always a piece of.
Bill Burr
Dude, just segues of criminality.
Joe
There's always a piece of criminality. So when I go to where you said in Vancouver, and I see it, I said, shit, you could sell drugs here and not go to jail if it feels like that, right? Like at that Skid Row where you.
Bill Burr
I didn't look at it that way.
Joe
I did. I looked at it like, yo, we can make a fucking killing out here. Like, these guys are letting you sell drugs. Like, it looks like.
Bill Burr
And you wouldn't have to hide your money then. No, that's what sucks about being a criminal is you have to hide your money. You gotta drive lesser of a car. Well, if you get on the corporate side, you can steal legally and you can drive down the street with like a. Like a top hat on.
Joe
Tell you something, I went to Denver like.
Bill Burr
Like one of those bankers from the fucking 1800s.
Joe
Let me tell you something, all the
Bill Burr
smart mobsters went legal.
Joe
I used to go.
Bill Burr
They did. They got to the legal side of stealing.
Joe
They went. I used to go to Denver. They fixed the first place to legalize marijuana.
Bill Burr
They're doing all their scams, the fucking lotteries, the numbers, extortion. They do all of that. They do everything. They do every fucking thing the mom did. They just do it legal, they do it legally.
Joe
God bless those guys. These are great guys. We got a Notorious.
Bill Burr
That's why it sucked that they caught Luigi. I wanted to see him finish this list.
Jada
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Joe
I wanted to see PG13. Oh, yo, it's the family.
Bill Burr
See, this is why. This is why I do mine. Fucking above my garage.
Joe
You don't give a fuck.
Bill Burr
No, I do.
Joe
You do?
Bill Burr
I do. Because I don't want to deal with that. Because they always do that shit. You know what it is? You can do Hunger Games. You cannot do Reverse Hunger Games. That's how it works. You can sell them a movie. Yeah, the future. Five guys have money and they run around shooting people. Oh, wow, that's great. You do it the other way. Those people you were eating fucking come back and they're going to kill you guys. Well, I mean, that's kind of a message that we don't want to put out. That's how that works.
Joe
Trust me, I know about it.
Bill Burr
Yeah, that's why I do it above the garage. No stipulations, Joe. You want to be stipulation free as much as you can. You want to limit stipulations. There you go. Look at that. That's your problem, Joe. You got too many stipulations in your life and you're wearing it on your face.
Jada
Get him back.
Bill Burr
You're wearing it on your face. That's why he's dressed in his fucking tracksuit. He's trying to compensate for all the stipulations in his life.
Joe
He's trying to. Let me tell you something, Bill. I grew up with. Shit.
Bill Burr
You are dressed like it's Sunday morning.
Joe
Let me tell you something, Bill.
Bill Burr
It's Monday. It's the first day of the week. Look at you.
Joe
Sony.
Bill Burr
You look like you just had some cereal.
Joe
Yeah, you taste that? You look like the serial killer in this movie. Fucking Apex. Anybody seen that movie on Netflix? Apex. He looked like the motherfucking killer. He was fucking killing everybody, this guy. No wonder you on Netflix. You was killing everybody. Cherise Theory. That's the guy. Yo, this serial killer. How you bring Luigi's man in this shit right here? Luigi, huh?
Bill Burr
How about the fact that whole crime was on camera? That didn't disturb any of you New Yorkers. That you live in a police state? I mean, I understand. You got to stop the guy. They had him all. Until he went behind a tree. They couldn't film him. They had that whole thing.
Joe
Yeah, they got that.
Bill Burr
I saw a thing.
Joe
That's how they solving crime. It's no longer like real. It's true. You seen Jussie Smolliette? Fellow actor?
Jada
Yeah.
Bill Burr
Can you just say that name?
Joe
Smollett.
Bill Burr
Smolliette. I like that. I think that's better than Smollett. Smollett.
Joe
I've seen and heard a lot of shit in my life. Jesse Smollett took the cake. You hear me? He might as well go down like Paul Reveal, like reacting. They back him up. He said he got beat up. They backed the film up. And he's rehearsing choreography with the guys who beat him. Like, yo, get yo, Jesse Smollett, dude.
Bill Burr
Jesse Smollett. That's my favorite thing ever.
Joe
They took care of him.
Bill Burr
Oh, I gotta. It's Smollett. Just even I know that
Jada
he's saying the wrong thing. He likes.
Bill Burr
No, I get it. That's low key. I don't respect you because you lied. So I'm not going to respect you enough to say your name right. I like that. You know, can I take that and pick up the flag? After further review.
Joe
Even if I love you, I get further review.
Bill Burr
I understand why you said smelly, yet I gotta. My bad, my bad. Replay the down. Replay the down.
Joe
My side took the fucking flag back. You see how this shit goes? Two Time a felon.
Bill Burr
That comes with age. You can admit when you're wrong.
Joe
This guy works on the stage. He's called Two Time a felon.
Jada
Doing a live talk. Can I. Can I come. Can I come check you out?
Bill Burr
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I Want to make sure my 100%. I was saying before we came on him telling that story of the guy taking the dap back, the amount of comedians I sent that to, all we talked about was how masterfully, comedically you told that story. It was fucking amazing. That's it.
Joe
See you.
Bill Burr
Amazing teller, too, brother.
Joe
There you go. Let me tell you something. I hate these guys.
Bill Burr
Dude, you are a character, man. No, you are a cat. You are. You're not even trying, and you just are.
Joe
Listen.
Jada
Insane.
Bill Burr
It's like a tick. He can't say something. He said you grew up in a loud house. Listen, let me tell you something. I got. Hey, Joe has something to say. We're here for you, Joe. You can just never see me.
Joe
DJ Khaled and Nori on a regular. Not camera, just in the crib eating. Can't nobody get a word. Y' all, let me fucking talk. Yo, I got something to say. Can I talk now? Like, we. This. The whole conversation is Kim. We talk. We just screaming at each other.
Bill Burr
Yeah. Cause nobody's listening.
Joe
Nobody wants to fucking. You know, everybody wants.
Jada
Nobody wants to.
Joe
But what I was gonna say is I hate these guys. These guys. He's talking about just look smolly yet,
Bill Burr
or you've moved on to.
Joe
It's not Smolly yet. That's been gone. I'm just trying to keep up. One of the icons that I love, living legends. I wouldn't call her auntie. I just love her so much. Stephanie Mills. And she says she goes where she's celebrated, not when she's tolerated. And it's a lot of motherfuckers that go where they tolerate. Well, you know, we really don't want you here, but you there, right? So that's. That story that he's telling is like, he took his dad back. Like, what are you even doing here? We don't even really fuck with you, you know, and with me. You know, I've been doing this 30 something years, and we went through a phase where we were the number one guys in the world. So every groupie that you could think of was trying to latch onto us. Every groupie to come 25 years later. And the young, young brother from the Bronx, a boogie. Now, he's the biggest. He says, joe, I'm doing this big show come by, and I go to his dressing room and the city. Same groupies from Fat Joe and big pun in 1997 are in the A Boogies. These are grown man groupies in a Boogies room. Like, yo, you want a Piece of cake. You wanted this. I. What the fuck is like. I. They, you know, and then they say, they tell they family. I'm in the industry. They tell they family. Yeah, I'm in the industry. You know, in this industry. I'm like, what industry is these people fucking talking about? What qualifies you for being in the industry? Tell me that.
Jada
Being an end.
Joe
No, no, no. Get paid. That could make one. If you're in some type of entertainment, you're getting paid. That's a good one, you know, because these guys, they turn around and say they in the industry, they tell their families they broke a shit and their job is groupie, and they get the daps taken back. Like, yo, my man, we don't know you, man. Get the fuck outta here. Like, I mean, it's amazing to me, it's an industry.
Bill Burr
Just for the record, I understood the story when he told.
Joe
You understood the story, correct?
Bill Burr
I understood it, yeah. I didn't know where you were going with that joke.
Joe
I don't know where the fuck I'm going. I just. It just always lands. It always lands. Just like the fucking artists.
Bill Burr
It does, it does.
Joe
What's that spaceship? The Artemis.
Bill Burr
Passengers might not be there when you land, but land, whatever you were flying,
Joe
that motherfucker gonna make sense. And then sometimes I catch a little Alzheimer's or something. Sometimes I freeze up and they'll be like, yo, what the fuck I'm talking about? And then I get it. Bam. You was talking about this, Joe. Get it there, you know what I'm saying? Very important.
Jada
I want to hear about the Social Reckoning for a minute before you.
Bill Burr
Oh, social record.
Joe
Socially Reckoning.
Bill Burr
That was the movie I was doing when I was up in Vancouver when I saw that Skid Row. So I did like a week on that movie. It's Aaron Sorkin movie, and it's not a sequel to the Social Network. It's a where that one showed how Facebook came about. This is more showing sort of the results, I think, overall, of social media and stuff like that. And it's an amazing script, I can tell you that. I think it's gonna be an amazing movie. I read really slow, right? So when I got the script, it was like 145 pages. And I'm like, Ah, fuck. It's usually about 105, 110. So I have to literally be like, all right, I'm read 30 pages a day. I'll get through this shit in like four days, whatever. I sat down. I couldn't stop reading it. I Went read in one sitting, Read the thing. And I went there and it was one of the most fun I've had shooting things, you know, cool actors and Aaron was great. So I think that that comes out in like October, but it's getting some good buzz already.
Joe
Good for you.
Bill Burr
And you are welcome to see it. That Joe isn't like tennis Marty Supreme.
Joe
You are welcome. You might be the next Marty Supreme. You never fucking know. You never know.
Bill Burr
The Facebook movie might be like the ping pong movie,
Joe
you know, I met the algorithm. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you, Chris. Bill, because you look very intelligent. Let me ask you a question.
Bill Burr
I feel like you're selling me a bad car.
Joe
I met.
Bill Burr
Hey, Bill, you're a smart guy. The hoodie comes up, he's gonna do something shady like what's going on?
Jada
He's about to line you. Bill.
Joe
Yeah, I meant the algorithm.
Bill Burr
How long is this podcast? No, no, I mean that in a good way. I mean that in a good way. You are. Joe.
Joe
We're going to be fascinating. We're going to get you out the next 30 minutes because my former mobster Joey Molino's here.
Bill Burr
We don't want him to tell you I'm the appetizer. I mean, we don't want, we don't
Joe
want Joey to pull you to the side at this show and tell you, you know, you old dudes attacks or some shit like that, you know what I'm saying? But I'm in Nate now. It's my favorite Jewish deli out in la. And I'm eating my split pea soup. Girl comes over, she says, hey, do you want to meet the owner of Instagram? So I go over there, I meet the guy, the guy's the fucking. I said, oh, shit, you're the algorithm. You control Instagram. You're the fucking. He said, yeah, well, you can say it like that, Joe. I am the algorithm. This guy, right?
Bill Burr
Wait, you met a guy in LA and you said, you are the algorithm?
Joe
And he confirmed the fucking owner of Instagram, he's the algorithm. If I own Instagram. Instagram, yeah.
Bill Burr
You wouldn't admit to that.
Joe
Victor. And fucking Victor meets me and I feel like, hey, that's photography. Let me light them up and give them 2,3 million. Subscribe I can. I'm the algorithm. Let me tell you something. Shout out to Michael Jackson family. The movie's number one in the country, Jada.
Bill Burr
He says, shit. And then when it's your turn to talk, he then goes, let me tell you something. And then he keeps going. And then he keeps going. And he keeps going.
Jada
He got him.
Bill Burr
He got him. You got the easiest job in show business. You just sit there and you can say that again. All Jada's got to do is sit up and go. And then he goes, let me tell you something. I said, all right, I'm back. I went. I saw a band one night, and this guy was talking so much between songs, it was driving me nuts, because he was great. He talked for 10 minutes one time and then said, first of all, swear to God, I was just sitting there going, how the fuck are you? How about in conclusion?
Joe
All right, you want to know what happens, Bill, is do I have a choice?
Bill Burr
I mean, you're going to tell me either way.
Joe
Sometimes you get a gig.
Bill Burr
Just tell me what happened, Joe.
Joe
Sometimes you get a gig.
Bill Burr
How many times a week do you get your beard lined up?
Jada
Every day, actually.
Joe
My barber fucked up. Today was his birthday. Should have went to act. What's up? He was supposed to come at 8 in the morning. I really would have had that shit.
Bill Burr
Every time I see you, it's that length.
Joe
Fucking paper. Cut your finger. My shit looked like 3D. My shit, like, when I was in jail, the first thing I got was a barber. Swear to God. The first thing I got said, who's the best barber in this motherfucker? Comes up, Poppy with the tail.
Bill Burr
You on your own wavelength, like I'm telling you. Just your own fucking thing. Who says that? Going to jail. They're thinking, let me get a shank so I don't get in the ass. He's like, I want my beer to look good when I'm getting sexually assaulted.
Joe
You know, jail.
Bill Burr
What crew do I need to align with so I don't get in the ass? This guy. You guys got a post office? He went to jail. Like Jimmy the Jet. Yeah, he had his own wing.
Joe
The first thing I got was a barber. The barber told me. I said, yo, how much is the most you get paid? Cause I paid my. My barber hundreds of dollars a cut. Like, for real. Right? But you said, the guy, luckily in jail, you could work a month doing some shit, and you. You get paid a Snickers bar. The motherfucker say he want $5. I said, I'm gonna give you a hundred dollars a month. But when I call you.
Bill Burr
But when I what?
Joe
When I call you, I don't care who you cutting. What's going. Yo, Bobby, you gotta lead that. You gotta run up here.
Bill Burr
Was that a smart move though?
Joe
Huh?
Bill Burr
Was That a smart move though, letting people know you had a hundred bucks.
Joe
A hundred bucks? I'm fed, Joe. Don't fucking. They know I'm rich when I'm walking down you fucking great. That's what I'm saying. I would immediately attacked Fat Joe the second he went in jail. I'd have been like, yo, you got to pay, you got to pay. But anyway, I give him a hundred bucks and I tell him, yo. So I come out there, you know, any given Sunday, Bobby. And then he start, Mr. Joe, he start running up the shit in front of ghost players, you know what I'm saying? Hit my shit little. It's all a movie, it's all a, you know, it's a production. It's theater, you know what I mean?
Bill Burr
Are you bailing on your own story?
Joe
No, I'm all right. It's part of that. I remember on this marble because I got space. I've got friends who did massive amount of jail time in real jails, right? So I had like a pamphlet, a preparation the night before Pistol piece stood in my house. I said, yo, Pistol, how's it going to be for me? Because this is the first time I'm doing time. He said, just like you live out here, you're gonna live in there. You done? And he ain't never lied. Went in there, had that shit locked down. Chef, Italian chef, cooking for me. Mozzarella, fresh homemade ice cream. Matzo mel, mozzarella, homemade, fresh ice cream, all type of shit. I had a guy used to wash my cell. You could eat ice cream off the fucking floor. This shit was so as shiny as your fucking head, Bill, bruh. In the fucking floor. You eat ice?
Bill Burr
You threw that in? Because you know, I'm not buying all of this. What?
Joe
What was Instead of cameras, you would
Bill Burr
have had to pay.
Joe
Bill, let me explain something. You see how many cameras is in here? There was thousands of guys.
Bill Burr
Wait a second.
Joe
Nobody say he lying. Everybody. I had thousands of guys locked up with me and nobody say I'm lying. I tell these stories all the time. You ain't got one person come out like, nah, that ain't. Nah. Yes, it's true. Yes, it's true. Joe had it like that. Sorry, sorry, not sorry, Phil Burr. They say I could be good at fucking stand up comedian. But I don't know, man. It's much harder than just telling jokes with your friends.
Bill Burr
You think once you established your vibe. Because it took me like 10 minutes and then, all right, I get this guy, you just say something and then he Answers a different question. And then you just listen.
Joe
Yo, Bill, you're very sharp because you're sharp because you figured out, can you
Bill Burr
stop doing this cell phone salesman shit to me? I'm not buying the plane.
Joe
No, it takes people. It takes people time to figure out. Fat Joe, you figured me out in 10 seconds.
Bill Burr
No, 10 minutes. It was 10 minutes.
Joe
You can't shut the fuck up. I have a problem.
Bill Burr
What do you think that's. Do you think that's trauma based?
Joe
Ego based ego based trauma?
Bill Burr
You need to take your hood up so your head doesn't get too hot.
Joe
You know, what happened was when I grew up, guys like me wouldn't tell their story, right? So I'm from the streets. There was a time, Bill, where I used to say, yo, no pictures. I'm in the club with all the other drug dealers. And they going, yo. And I'd be like, yeah, y. No pics. Nah, can't be in the pits. Or. There was no storytelling because you couldn't trust nobody to tell a story. So all these stories I had, I would not even tell him shit. See, I was the guy. You'd be like, he's unapproachable. He's not a nice guy. You would see him from far and
Bill Burr
you'd be like, so when did that change?
Joe
Soon as the podcast. And everybody said you could talk and you could be cool now. And Drake started making hotline bling shit like that. I know when the hotline bling, that's when you allow to be yourself once. Drake was like, you, you, you, you. I said, oh, we ain't got. We ain't gotta live up to the shit. We could just. I know when the highlight bling, that's it. I said, yeah, you can be yourself. Fucking be funny. Everybody likes a fucking former gangster turned funny guy.
Bill Burr
That's true.
Joe
Everybody loves that. Remember. What the fuck was that movie where the guy was. Was it Robert De Niro? He was a gangster and then turned into a nice guy. Analyze this, analyze this. That was a motherfucker, that movie, huh? Everybody likes the funny gangster.
Bill Burr
Yeah, I agree.
Joe
I feel like James, you was selling them weed in the suburbs and shit. Like James.
Bill Burr
No, I didn't smoke weed till later in life. Yeah, I always stayed away from him.
Joe
Why?
Bill Burr
Because this guy, when I was in fourth grade, came to our school and he told us what it was like to have emphysema. And he goes, make a fist like this and try to breathe through it. That's what happens if you smoke. So I was just like, all right, I'm not doing that. I was the one kid, like, he connected with, so I wouldn't smoke anything, but I drank like a lunatic, so I just went that direction. So it wasn't until like my 30s, you know, you can't drink alcohol your whole life. It beats the shit out of you. So at some point, you know, and I still had my demons, so I needed something to take the edge off. So I started smoking weed. But all the old people tell me that the weed nowadays is not the way it used to be. And it's like. It's all like fucking chemicals. I know guys that.
Joe
Who.
Bill Burr
They used to smoke all the time when I was younger, in like the 80s, they quit. They quit. Cause they're saying that the weed is too intense. I don't know.
Joe
All I'm looking at is potheads in this motherfucker. They like, yeah.
Bill Burr
Did you just have to smoke like
Joe
all the older guys who used to smoke? Is the weed the same as back in the day?
Jada
Nah, they were smoking. They were smoking. Weed is like TVs. They had the TVs with the big backs on them. Now you got big TVs that grandma could carry his light, you know what I'm saying? That's what happened to the weed. It evolved. The chemists, they got more resources, more easily, right? You try to smoke weed with somebody who smoked in the 70s and 80s, the weed blow, they fucking socks off.
Bill Burr
Yeah, that happened to me at Thanksgiving. I went to give somebody a gummy, and she goes, it's not going to do anything for me. I go, it's like 10 milligrams. She goes, yeah, I need at least 100. So I was like, wow. And then, like an idiot, whatever she was smoking, I took two hits of. And then after I was going, like, I shouldn't have done that. And then, like, I sat down. I just wasn't. I wasn't at Thanksgiving for like three hours.
Ad Host
No.
Bill Burr
And my wife literally kept saying, like, people kept trying to talk to me. And she kept going, he's useless. He's useless. That's what it was.
Joe
And you hearing that in 3D, you don't hear it?
Bill Burr
No. It's like I was paralyzed. Like, I was laying.
Joe
You're paralyzed?
Bill Burr
Like, people didn't know I could hear him.
Joe
Useless. You're useless. You know, I don't drink. I'll tell you some bullshit my wife did to me, man. And fucking Nori helped him. So we have these, like, lunch dates with his wife, my wife, and we in Miami and we fucking Bell Harbor. And these guys start. You know, they drink for breakfast, right? So everybody's drinking, and Nori starts smoking blunts in the middle of Bell Harbor. Like, nah, we violated Bal Harbor. Like you never seen it. And you know, they. Y', all, they love us there. You know, we always shot. Next thing I know is I'm getting. I'm fucking drunk. Like a boxer when he's about to get knocked out that the motherfucker's on his tippy toe. Like, I'm really like this. I'm standing up against the wall like it's like two in the afternoon. I'm like. Because I don't really drink. I feel my hand getting pulled, like, pulled in a direction. So I'm getting pulled as my wife. And I'm, like stuck inside myself. Like, I kind of know what's going on, but I'm so fucking drunk, there's nothing I can do. And she takes me to the store. You know, there's stores, you don't even want to look to the left. Them diamonds are so shiny and shit.
Bill Burr
They.
Joe
The stores we know we can't afford, like grass and shit like that. You just don't look at that shit when you walk in the mall. And all of a sudden, sudden they open the door and I go in there. Now, Nori is supposed to be the drink champ, the more professional guy. He more drunk than me. Stuck. He's stuck. He's worse than me. They sit him in the chair. The guy comes out, brings out these white gloves. How you doing, Mr. Joe? Your wife been looking at this necklace here. This is the state of the art. I'm like you. I'm in my head. Fuck your mother, you motherfucker. I'm saying. And she's looking at me like, you don't want that, right? Cause you know this ain't the store you supposed to go into. I'm like, you don't want that, right? She's like, yes, yes. And I'm fucking. I'm like this. And Nori look more scared than me. And he's the drink champ. He looking at me like, oh, shit, man. I wind up getting her that fucking necklace. This shit cost so much fucking money. I remember tippy toeing out of that shit like I was. I never did that shit again. They never caught me. I know how to learn my lesson.
Bill Burr
You didn't drink near a drink.
Joe
They never catch me in that fucking place, drunk again in my fucking life. That was like 10 years ago. They did. You're not doing it to me, shame on you. What about George Bush say, you get me one time, shame on me. They get me the second time. Fuck no. I know. I seen the play.
Bill Burr
That's not what he said. He said, you fool me once, shame on you. You fool me twice. Then he got confused and then he just goes, you're not gonna fool me again. That's what he said. That's what. That's why I always had. I went to summer school too, so I always forgot I had a soft spot for him as I've been there. George. Yeah, we all know what you were trying to say. It's all right.
Joe
Yoda.
Jada
Joe and jadashow.com. we got new merch, fresh off the presses. Go get it.
Bill Burr
Bam.
Jada
Out of Bing Bob going Jada, show show.com. you can get these. Little cold for T shirt. Where the hoodies at?
Joe
It's my favorite right there. I need an extra largeshow.com. go there. Get it.
Jada
Tell us about the tribute to Eddie Murphy.
Bill Burr
Oh, man. Afi, The American Film Institute. I didn't know what. I'm an idiot. I didn't know.
Jada
I didn't know if it was af1 or afi.
Bill Burr
I didn't know what it was.
Jada
I just said, tell us about the Eddie Murphy trip.
Bill Burr
Yeah, so there was. It was on Netflix. Your boys with the stipulations. They. They were doing.
Joe
We love you guys.
Bill Burr
They were doing a. A tribute or an honoring of his whole career. So it's on a Saturday night, so it's literally Friday. And my wife goes, she says to me, she's like, how you feeling about this? You know, Cause I'm. You know. Cause I've been so volatile over the years. She always has to, like, check my emotional temperature before we go out just to see what she was gonna be involved in. So outta habit, she said, how you feeling? I was like, oh, it's great. You know, I'm showing up to this thing. I don't have to do anything. I get to like, you know, chill out and just watch this show. And it's Eddie, this is gonna be amazing. And literally right as I said that, she got a phone call and they were asking if I would go up and say a few things. And I immediately got super nervous because it's Eddie. So I quickly said yes before I would like, you know, chicken out or whatever. And yeah, I ended up having to go up there. And I don't know how you guys work, but my thing is if I write the whole. Cause I had a teleprompter. If I Write the whole thing out. I am, like, in robot mode. I am, like, in my head, and it's like I'm not connected to it. So I had to, like. I had to, like, sort of have an idea what I was gonna say. But what was cool was I saw Eddie on the raw tour in 1986 at this place. What was it called? It's called Great Woods. And what was cool was I saw Rodney Dangerfield like, a week before because he was coming off of that back to school, and they were both huge, and they were playing these giant things. And I went and I saw Rodney, and he was fun and hilarious and all that, but he had, like, an all white crowd. But I didn't notice because I was from the suburbs. So it just looked like everything I was going to. But when I saw Eddie, he had this mixed crowd. And this is before I was a comedian. I don't know why that stuck in my head, but I remember seeing it. I was like, 18. I was going, this guy is literally. He's making everybody laugh. I'm not shitting on Ronnie, but this guy had young, old, black, white, Asian. Everybody was there, and he was fucking killing. He had the purple suit, too, which I wanted to ask him about that. It's like, did you have more than one? Did you wear it the whole fucking tour?
Joe
He probably had more than one.
Bill Burr
Yeah.
Joe
I don't know. Some guys wear the same shit the whole tour, like, and they're not broke. They just. That's the cops.
Jada
Makes sense. Yeah.
Joe
You coming?
Bill Burr
Yeah. But that's how. Watching him do that, I was thinking, you know, if I ever did stand up, I would want to be able to do. Make everybody laugh. You know what I mean? So. And it was a. It was really one of the best lessons I ever got. So anyway, I got to go up and say a few words. And it was. It went great, but it was super intimidating because it was him. All 10 of his kids, whoever they married. It was like the Kennedy family of comedy just staring right at you 40 years later. It was really crazy.
Joe
You know what I love about Eddie Murphy? In our line of business, music, a lot of the icons, a lot of the entertainers we looked up to either got on drugs or 4up, they're broke, and you see them, and it feels, like, horrible when you see some of the guys who made the biggest songs or made us laugh the most or whatever. And when I seen that documentary and it just opened up on Eddie Murphy in, like, a $90 million house, I was like, yes.
Bill Burr
Yeah.
Joe
This motherfucker ain't get high.
Bill Burr
You know my favorite thing he said in that documentary? He said, yeah. He goes, I never. I never got into drugs or anything. He goes, I loved myself. Which I've never heard a comedian say. You know what I mean? It was cool.
Joe
So even though y' all funny and y' all use humor, a lot of y' all got, like, dark past and shit like that and go through some shit.
Bill Burr
Yeah, well, that's the thing. So you use humor. Like, a lot of times, something fucked up happens in the news, and then you have a joke about it, and they think it's because you don't care. It's the opposite. It's. It's like a. It's a way of not feeling. The feeling that you make a joke so you can get past it, so you can deal with it and blah, blah, blah. Some people, you know, some people go into music. Some people go this way. Comedians. What we do is we use humor. And the thing that I think is hard about that for your personal life is that is like. It's denying of feelings. So you just sort of stay walled off, and that can become difficult for you and the people in your life after a while.
Joe
Fact, do you need that outlet? You know, you need that outlet. To me, music is therapeutic. So I don't care how. You know, the other day, I'm writing this song, and Dre tells me, yo, they know you not killing motherfuckers in the bodega, Joe. They know you not selling drugs no more. But I just don't know how to not make violent music. Like, the minute the beat comes on, I just get the killing. No, that's the fucking truth. Last year, I left St. Tropez. We was on vacation. I got on the Las Stanza first class this. I threw a beat on kill your mom's nigga, Yo. It's on this that I don't know how to not do that.
Jada
So do it.
Bill Burr
Yeah, why don't you. Why don't you talk about being court sized at Atlanta?
Joe
Well, we do that, too. Yeah, you could, you know. Of course, out of Atlanta, this is the one time I got secured. By the way, Bill, everybody's scared of me. I don't know if, you know, everybody's scared of me. And my security. I got security. But he peaceful. Pretty much. We feed him and we pay him for free. Cause he's never had to have an argument with one person in his life, right? And I told him when we went to that Atlanta Hawks game, I said, listen, this is going to be the first time in your life, you're going to earn a check because I'm ready to fight the whole stadium. I'm going down for my Knicks. Thank God everybody was gracious, everybody showed us love, but I'm an asshole when it comes to my Knicks. I got to go over there and we.
Bill Burr
Why are you blaming other teams? Why are you blaming other teams? It's not the Atlanta Hawks fault where the Knicks have been. They're just doing what you're trying to do. Why are you taking. It's misdirected anger.
Joe
Yeah, I gotta go.
Bill Burr
You didn't want to hear that.
Jada
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bill Burr
Are you having a nervous breakdown? Like, what is happening right now? Like, what the fuck? It just got eerily silent here.
Joe
Some people, man. Some people just. You're right. You're fucking right. Like, it's like, you know, some people got problems. I gotta. Fuck.
Bill Burr
I'm just gonna start doing what you're doing. I'm just gonna do what you're doing.
Jada
That's it.
Bill Burr
You see? Just do this. You do this every once in a while.
Jada
Stretch it out. You know what I mean? Come back.
Bill Burr
You're really. You're patient. You got that down. I'm trying to work on that patience.
Joe
Well, if I had another guy that was crazy like me, we have beef with the whole planet Earth. Thank God he could pull me down to. Joe, Chill.
Bill Burr
What are you. What are you really upset about? If you had your nephew.
Joe
I don't give a fuck about him. I didn't really know he was a piece of.
Bill Burr
Well, your nephew's affecting your life way more than the Atlanta Hawks, and it seemed like you had way more like, aggression towards them.
Joe
If I'm upset about anything, it's that I hate getting old. Like, I like to be forever young and I want to live forever. So I want the drugs to hurry up and come. I know once I die, they're going to make the shit that make you live for 200 years. What's the shit now? You got the shit that make you Health, the Peptides and all that. But I want you.
Bill Burr
You like the direction shit is in. You want to see how this plays out?
Joe
Nah. This is going to be.
Bill Burr
They're coming out with cars in 2027 that have all AI surveillance. They're setting this up where one person can run the world because their armies used to get spread out too thin. You're on two fronts and you would lose. So this is what they're doing. Like those fucking cars, man. That don't have a driver. They're going to sell those to people like, oh, yeah, now you can fucking sleep on the way to work. And it's like, yeah, that's also your own police car. Like, if they decide to make you think you're going to the gym, you said the wrong thing. They're taking you to that alligator island, and there's nothing you can do. Sweatpants.
Joe
I'll be thinking about thinking.
Bill Burr
You're gonna talk to the barber down there, and you're not gonna. Are you gonna talk to the barber? There's no post office.
Joe
Are you gonna own robots?
Bill Burr
No, I, I.
Joe
You live long enough. Are you gonna own robots? Yeah.
Jada
Robots now.
Joe
No, no, I'm gonna own a fucking robot. Yo.
Jada
Made me.
Joe
Kane. Gisa.
Bill Burr
See, that's the mistake is you think you're gonna own it. That's the mistake.
Joe
The robot's gonna own me.
Bill Burr
Yeah, that's a surveillance. You're bugging your own house. Everybody, they're doing fucking refrigerators.
Joe
Oh, no. Everybody's bugged in the house. Yeah. Why? See, this guy killed the girl. The fucking. The singer, what's his name?
Bill Burr
Joe. Don't get. Don't get a robot and bring it in your house.
Jada
Never heard of.
Joe
I'm already surveilled all day. They tapped my ass. I'm tapped out.
Jada
Lights went out.
Bill Burr
Off.
Joe
I tapped the lights went out.
Jada
Yeah, the Lord turned the lights up. They tapped your ass.
Joe
Nah, that's the super pause.
Bill Burr
Oh.
Joe
What I'm trying to tell you is that I was trying to tell him
Bill Burr
earlier that the barber isn't your biggest problem. When you go to jail, you don't even gotta.
Joe
We are fucking tapped. Everywhere you go, we are tapped for some reason. Good stuff. So I drove my wife's car the other day, and I tried to get my Bluetooth in. I wanted to hear some Jaheem, right? And it wouldn't take. And one of my friends would say, man, you might have a good luck. It ain't going in your wife's shit. Every phone call come your way is. They can hear everything. God damn it. You know, when you got your phone to the laptop, my man was like, yo, man, God is looking out. He trying to make sure your phone don't go up on the. You know, I don't know what you're talking about, but, yeah, I think. I think we're surveilled. I don't never feel like we're not surveilled, so I don't never say shit that I wouldn't say if there weren't a hundred people right in my face, and even if it sounds bad, I don't give a fuck. I would say it in front of a hundred people. Sometimes I'm very opinionated. Sometimes I say some shit that right? I just don't give a fuck. I'm going through that trauma you used to go through.
Jada
You got it, Bill, you got it?
Joe
Yeah, Bill, you got it. Yo, Bill, let me tell you something, man.
Jada
Let me tell you something, man.
Joe
Let me tell you about the number one ratings, Bill. We came. Speaking of the robot, we came, we put up the podcast, and let me tell you something. These other podcasts, they look like fucking dinosaurs right now. They're doing, like, Robot man for real. Like, I look at. I try to look at all these podcasts, maybe 10 minutes, I'm like, man, these guys in trouble. Like, you even get with the program or not? Our got fluidity. I. Every day we got a different fluidity. We got a different person.
Bill Burr
Can't you just do a podcast and not start beef with every other podcast out there?
Joe
I mean, my shit is beef, really.
Bill Burr
It's a peaceful. It's a peaceful space to. Anybody can do it. You don't have to come after all these people.
Joe
Nah, I want beef with everybody. But you figured it out. You. There's only one exception.
Bill Burr
Who you going after first?
Joe
I went at Every.
Bill Burr
Does Ellen DeGeneres have one you don't like?
Joe
I tried, though. I tried. Like, I'm not gonna lie to you. I try to start, like, the east coast, west coast, north, south podcast. I tried first episode. I was like, fuck everybody. Whoever won, nobody responded. Like, they. Nobody responded. Nobody went for it. All right, I can't.
Bill Burr
I can't. How much longer?
Joe
Like, well, you.
Bill Burr
I just can't. Like this. None of this makes you want to
Joe
beef with Pete Davidson. You don't want to be with Pete.
Bill Burr
You start everything. You just step into insanity. There's like, the logical, and you just.
Jada
Yeah, you just step into it.
Bill Burr
Yeah. Like, I have been trying to go talk to you, and it's just like, I don't know where to jump in.
Joe
Bill Burke, people who really know you, they be like, yo, that's the wrong guy to give you that fucking therapy right there. Yo, two time, we got a coffee. NBA talk. So you like, what. What's your take?
Bill Burr
Did you just order a coffee in the middle of all of that? That was just like, fucking, like. What just happened? You were. You were here. You were at a restaurant.
Joe
You just said you in a Fucking Taliban cave shooting your show. You don't give a fuck. It's connected to the phone. You good to go? We got this one off just at
Bill Burr
a hot
Joe
same hotel room. If you put that light to see where the semens at in that room, you wouldn't want to sleep in that.
Bill Burr
All right. I'm glad I did my podcast before I talked to you. Jesus Christ. All right, you were gonna bring up what? NBA.
Joe
NBA?
Bill Burr
I'm a hockey guy. I watch hockey. Oh, yeah, I heard it. That's what I do when somebody brings up NBA.
Jada
Who's laughing? The playoffs right now.
Bill Burr
Oh, it's the first round. So everybody's left.
Jada
Everybody's left. Who's the best team in the hockey?
Bill Burr
Probably the Avalanche, and I'd say in the east is probably Carolina. But the best first round matchup has been, I feel has been Canadiens versus the Tampa Bay Lightning. Like, the first three games went into overtime. And then also it's good when it's good for hockey, when the Canadians are good, even though they're, like, always right.
Joe
Yeah, they're always good, right?
Bill Burr
Yeah. It's like baseball wasn't fun when the Yankees sucked in the 80s. It's like, as a Boston fan, I want to beat him, but I don't want to beat them when they stink, you know? You want to.
Joe
You want to Boston. One time I went to Boston and I had a Yankee hat on and no fucking restaurant would let me eat dinner there because I had a Yankee hat on and I wouldn't take the shit off. Yeah, I went to like eight fucking restaurants. You guys are terrible over there, boss. Yeah, I hate the Yankees like that. Right?
Bill Burr
We did until we won and then the movie ended. And then ESPN tries to keep it going, but there's.
Jada
It's not the same.
Bill Burr
Yeah, it's like you would chant 1918, then we won. So you can't chant that. You got 27. Nobody's going to catch up with that. So there's really nothing going on. And at this point, it's kind of about the Dodgers, where they're. They're sort of like a hedge fund spending like a billion dollars. I don't know. I'm. I'm not into that. Like, it's going to cause a strike,
Joe
I think the Dodgers.
Bill Burr
Yeah. Because then other players are going to want to get paid the way they're getting paid on the Dodgers. And then the other owners, certainly the owners, like the Pittsburgh Pirates, who should be kicked out. Their owners should be kicked out. They're not gonna Wanna pay anybody. So then there'll be, like, a lockout and that dumb shit.
Joe
So the Pittsburgh Pirates don't pay well
Bill Burr
because they have, like, that whole, you know, somehow, like the collective revenue of the TV contracts. I don't know how it is, but, like, they can somehow own that team and never try to be competitive and still make, like, millions and millions of dollars. No, it's brutal. Because they were so.
Joe
It's like a tank.
Bill Burr
Yeah, They've been tanking since Barry Bonds.
Joe
Since Willie Starjew.
Bill Burr
No, no. Willie Starju was the real, real deal. But they were winning them. They won in, like, 61. They won one in the early 70s, and they won in 79 and didn't do so well in the 80s. And somewhere along, these guys came in and bought that team. And that ended up. And they. They. They were just in it for the money. It's terrible.
Joe
You know what's crazy is I'm a
Jada
big
Joe
Yankee fan, but I really love that guy on the Dodgers, the Asian guy. Fucking incredible, this guy. He'll pitch a game. He'll hit a home run a game. He'll play the outfit. This guy is fucking.
Bill Burr
No, he's.
Joe
He's in Babe Ruth.
Bill Burr
He's second coming.
Joe
Better than Babe.
Bill Burr
Yeah. Cause he's playing against everybody.
Joe
He's pitching. He's playing the field. He's fucking hitting. He's better than Babe Ruth.
Bill Burr
Babe Ruth did win a Cy Young for pitching, though.
Joe
He did?
Bill Burr
Yeah, he did.
Joe
I didn't know.
Jada
No, I didn't know
Joe
the Babe. You got any of your fucking intelligent questions over there?
Jada
I asked him things that he came here to be asked. Now, let me tell you something.
Bill Burr
Listen.
Joe
Yo, Bill, man, thank you for coming to the show, man. We.
Jada
Don't forget my tickets, man. I'm coming to see you live on tour.
Bill Burr
It was an honor to come here. I'm a huge fan of both of you guys, and I love what you're doing here.
Joe
Thank you.
Bill Burr
And, yeah, this is that Eddie Murphy thing I learned go on every podcast. Everybody comes to your show. It's a better show. So. Yeah. Cause they have me on the white guy email list. Live Nation does. So they just put out the blast. And I couldn't figure out why. Cause I would come and I would, you know, wherever I'd be, I'd run into some black guy, would come up to me and be like, oh, man, I love your shit. When are you doing a show? I was like, oh, I was last night. I was right over there. How come I didn't know. How come I didn't know.
Joe
Do you know what I think?
Bill Burr
Yeah, that's what they do.
Joe
Certain white people don't know they're cool in the hood like that. Like, they just don't. Cause fucking last week, Maury Povich came there, and I fucking thought, like, the best guy in the universe. Like, I didn't know how much of a fan of Maury. I'm sitting here like, what the. This is Maury Povich. You are the father. The whole time, I swear to God, I'm like, this shit is fucking.
Bill Burr
No, but I think that's the. That's one of the best things as a performer, when someone as different as you could be comes up and says that they like your stuff. You know, Some guy from, like, Kazakhstan stopped me on the street and was saying, oh, I love you. I love your stuff. I was just like, all right, that's. That's. You know. You got a comedy club over there. I'll. I'll head over.
Joe
You know, you go to Morocco. They got the little guy. You know about the little guy? He got a guy about this little.
Bill Burr
All right, his hoodie's up. So I'm. I'm. I'm in. I'm in on this one. Okay.
Joe
Have you met the little guy? There's a little guy.
Bill Burr
By the way, this did not come unnoticed. That. This matches this. I mean, I don't know how long it takes black guys to get dressed in the morning, but that. That is fucking impressive.
Joe
That is impressive.
Bill Burr
That would take me. That would take me six months, Jada, just to find that fucking guy over here.
Joe
Let me tell you something. There's a little guy. There's a little guy in Morocco. He's a fucking grown man with a suit this big. And you meet him. He'd be in the clubs and shit like that. How did you meet this guy in the clubs? But, you know, we got the proof. Fritz Montana came in. He's from Morocco. He said he knows the little guy. And then we've seen video and pictures. We got him on the.
Bill Burr
Okay, there's the little guy in Morocco. What does he do?
Joe
He's smaller than a watermelon. They got a picture of him with a suit on a watermelon, sitting like he was on the fucking Mount Rushmore.
Jada
He's that little.
Bill Burr
He's got a vibe.
Joe
He's the man. He's got a vibe? He's got a vibe because you said Kazakhstan. The only thing I can think of in Kazakhstan is Borat, Borat, Borat, Borat. No,
Bill Burr
I want to hear about.
Joe
He's alive. Go Google this guy. That's who he's talking. He's the real guy. Everybody thought he's lying. Yes, I knew it's real.
Bill Burr
First of all, he's like six.
Joe
No, he's a grown man.
Bill Burr
Where's the camera? Yeah, he still looks like. I'm not saying he's not a dwarf.
Jada
Did somebody get how old he is?
Bill Burr
All right, okay. He's too young to be in the club. Whatever the.
Joe
No, I knew a Dominican guy like that, too. Apparently, those little guys.
Bill Burr
I think you got a fetish, dude. I've been up to a bunch of countries. I don't run into these little guys.
Joe
Believe it in that picture. Bill, he was 20. He was 20. I don't know. No, he's a grown ass man. Nelson died. The one from Fort. He knows multiple of them south of Domingo. A new guy used to hang out with us in the Bronx. You know who used to hang out with us? Stephen Baldwin. You know Stephen Baldwin? Yes, the handsome brother. He used to come down to the Bronx with us. What happened? The handsome brother. He used to hang out with us.
Bill Burr
You know, I got to do a benefit tomorrow. Just letting you know if you're going
Joe
to wrap this up, my brother. All right. We're going to wrap. Y' all, check this out. This ain't that.
Jada
That ain't this.
Joe
It's cracking.
Bill Burr
Kiss.
Jada
Make some noise for Bill Burr, baby.
Bill Burr
All right. Hey, thank you so much for having me. Thank you. Thank you.
Joe
Thank you, brother.
Bill Burr
Easiest podcast ever.
Episode Title: Joe and Jada – Bill Burr ROASTS Fat Joe + talks Eddie Murphy tribute, ‘The Social Reckoning’ & Jada’s viral Drink Champs story
Date: May 5, 2026
Featured Guest: Bill Burr
Hosts: Joe & Jada
This lively and unfiltered episode brings together comedy legend Bill Burr with hosts Fat Joe and Jada for a rollicking conversation weaving sharp comedy, frank talk about the entertainment industry, and deeply personal reflections. Bill Burr roasts Fat Joe and dives into topics spanning family dysfunction, addiction, show business lessons from Eddie Murphy, social media, the realities of podcasting, and the nuances of fame—all wrapped in banter characteristic of friends regularly breaking each other’s chops.
Timestamps: 00:00–05:14
“Dude, you are a character, man. You’re not even trying, and you just are.” (00:00, Bill Burr)
“I also like doing it more like underground type of thing, where it’s just whatever I say, I say. And then I don’t edit it. I didn’t want it to be a bunch of work, so I never progressed.” (04:10, Bill Burr)
Timestamps: 06:00–14:00
“I got a nephew. I’ve been paying his bills for, like, for years and years... Now he’s saying he’s a squatter. He’s not going to move. He’s a piece of shit, right?” (09:57, Joe)
“If you’re struggling, I’ll try to pull you out. But if you’re face down digging it deeper, I’m not helping you out.” (08:33, Bill Burr)
“All of us have our own brand of it... It’s just more like trauma and however you processed it.” (12:10, Bill Burr)
“I figured out why I was fucked up... As a guy...you had to lock away 99% of your emotions. But when I act, these characters are feeling shit that’s in the vault.” (13:00, Bill Burr)
“Now I can feel all the emotions. And so I have options rather than flipping out, laughing, or saying, I don’t give a fuck.” (13:43, Bill Burr)
Timestamps: 14:00–21:00
“The Caucasians have kept stuff away from us… Everybody got Hermès on, they feeding you lobster… The catering is off the chain.” (17:09, Joe)
Timestamps: 28:00–34:00
“They decriminalized drugs because they acknowledge addiction is a disease, but they just stopped there. They didn’t then try to get him help… The Fennie fold is insane.” (28:56, Bill Burr)
Timestamps: 32:38–36:00
“You look like you just had some cereal… You look like the serial killer in this movie... You are dressed like it’s Sunday morning.” (32:57, Bill Burr)
“There was no storytelling because you couldn’t trust nobody... So all these stories I had, I would not even tell ‘em.” (48:03, Joe)
Timestamps: 39:33–59:53
“It’s not a sequel to The Social Network… It’s sort of the results of social media and stuff like that. And it’s an amazing script… I couldn’t stop reading it.” (39:38, Bill Burr)
“So outta habit, [my wife] said, ‘How you feeling?’ I was like, oh, it’s great… And literally right as I said that, she got a phone call... asking if I would go up and say a few things. And I immediately got super nervous because it’s Eddie.” (56:35, Bill Burr)
Burr recalls seeing Murphy’s mixed crowd early on—a blueprint for reaching everyone in comedy. “That was really one of the best lessons I ever got… I would want to be able to make everybody laugh.” (58:41, Bill Burr)
“They think it's because you don't care. It's the opposite... It's a way of not feeling...so you can deal with it... But it's denying of feelings. So you just sort of stay walled off…” (59:59, Bill Burr)
Timestamps: 28:19–54:48 (select stories recur throughout)
“The first thing I got was a barber. Swear to God… It’s all a movie, it's all a… production. It's theater, you know what I mean?” (44:45–46:04, Joe)
“I'm standing up against the wall like it's two in the afternoon. Cause I don't really drink... Next thing I know, I'm getting pulled… to the store… Now, Nori is supposed to be the drink champ... He more drunk than me. The guy brings out these white gloves… I wind up getting her that fucking necklace. This shit cost so much fucking money.” (53:30–54:48, Joe)
Timestamps: 41:13–66:44
“They’re coming out with cars in 2027 that have all AI surveillance… If they decide to make you think you’re going to the gym, you said the wrong thing, they’re taking you to that alligator island.” (63:59, Bill Burr)
“See, that's the mistake is you think you're gonna own it [robots]. That's the mistake… that’s a surveillance.” (64:53, Bill Burr)
Timestamps: 66:44–68:31
“Can’t you just do a podcast and not start beef with every other podcast out there?” (67:27, Bill Burr)
Timestamps: 68:31–77:27
“Best thing as a performer—when someone as different as you could be comes up and says that they like your stuff.” (73:55, Bill Burr)
“He says shit, and then when it’s your turn to talk, he then goes, ‘let me tell you something.’ And then he keeps going.” (42:46, Bill Burr)
“You’re not allowed to beat the shit outta your family member. Is that some loophole?” (08:08, Bill Burr)
“You use humor...as a way of not feeling. The thing that I think is hard about that...is that is like denying of feelings. So you just sort of stay walled off...” (59:59, Bill Burr)
“You want to be stipulation free as much as you can. You want to limit stipulations.” (32:17, Bill Burr)
If you’ve never heard The Herd with Colin Cowherd or caught the Joe and Jada show, this episode is a master class in unscripted, unfiltered conversation—mixing deep life lessons and inside Hollywood scoops with wild anecdotes and honest laughs. Burr’s blend of self-awareness and biting humor is balanced by Joe’s sincerity and streetwise confessions, all kept moving by Jada’s well-timed interjections.
This episode is both riotously funny and unexpectedly insightful, shining a light on the behind-the-scenes realities of comedy, fame, and life on both sides of the law. With elite riffing, real vulnerability, and nonstop character, it’s a must-listen for fans of comedy, hip-hop, and candid conversations.