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Kal Penn
Everybody has goals, and every goal starts with an assist, whether it's on the field or off. That's why Halion is teaming up with US Soccer to launch for the Assist. It's a new campaign that celebrates those everyday acts of support that help people achieve their goals. As the makers of trusted brands like Advil, Centrum, Tum, Sensodyne and Voltaren, Halion knows how to support everyday wellness goals. To learn more, go to helionassist.
Fat Joe
This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or osa, in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snore loudly, or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability and concentration issues, it may be due to osa. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep.
Jadakiss
Which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation.
Fat Joe
Learn more at. Don't sleep on osa.com this information is provided by Lilly, a medicine company. This is Eva Longoria from Hungry for History with Eva Longoria and Maite Gomez Rejon. Like the song says, it's the most wonderful time of the year and also a wonderfully busy one. All that merriment can weigh down even Santa's sleigh, so keep it wonderful by keeping yourself wonderful with a crisp, cold Coca Cola. Ah, pause for fizzy joy. Look out for yourself and then look out for everyone else and together we'll make this season as wonderful as it's meant to be. Enjoy a Coca Cola refresh your holidays.
Total Wireless Announcer
This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of ufc. When you're streaming the fight or sharing those takedown highlights, you need a wireless provider that keeps you close to the action. With Total Wireless, you're covered by the Verizon 5G network, so you don't have to worry about your connection being knocked out at the biggest moments. It's not something you can usually say about a wireless provider, but Total Wireless really does have your back. They're in your corner every second of the day, so you never miss a thing. Visit totalwireless.com or visit your local Total Wireless Store to learn more about how Total Wireless can be in your corner. 5G access requires a 5G capable device and a 5G service area. Additional terms apply. See website for details.
Kal Penn
PCs powered by Snapdragon X Elite processors are made to go the distance with blazing fast performance, next level efficiency and multi day battery life. Snapdragon Processors are built to tackle it all, from highlight reel editing to intense player research. So you can be at the top of your game wherever the day takes you. Learn more@snapdragon.com laptops Snapdragon, the heart of your PC. Battery life varies significantly based on device settings, usage and other factors.
Jadakiss
This video I'm talking about, you was on welfare.
Fat Joe
That's why I'll never hate on you.
Jadakiss
When I see you in front of them roll voices with them outfits. I said that deserve that because I seen poor.
Fat Joe
What up, y'? All? This is Coke of the Dawn.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Oh, you know who it is. Your boy Jada Kiss. You know what it is. The Joe and Jada Show. Every show legendary, every show iconic. And we got our foot on your neck. Our next guest, self explanatory.
Fat Joe
Biggest in the game.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Biggest in the game. Well known name in every household. You see him on stages, you see him on TVs. You see him courtside at the games. You might see him in the suite. He only person that phone can ring on the couch and we don't.
Fat Joe
Only person the phone can ring.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
You know what I mean? See him in some of your best films you ever seen. Your best standups. You bump into him in the mall, you might see him anyway, he gonna you that same love. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for our brother Mike.
Jadakiss
Man. I appreciate it, man. Two of my. Two of my favorite guys in the game, you know what I mean?
Fat Joe
Y. I gotta get right to it, Mike. Let me tell you something. This product right here is ammonia free. Why fight the time when you can rewind the time? Hello. Why fight? Why be 53 when you can be 42? Why be 42 when you can be 31? Available at CVS and Sally's and Stop and Shop. I'm just trying to put you on to the shit. This ain't gonna break you up.
Jadakiss
I had some bad experiences.
Fat Joe
That's them guys.
Jadakiss
My chin swelled up like a honey bun. My shoe was. And it had some pus coming out of it. And I went to the emergency man and I was so mad, I actually called Top Dog Law. Cause I was gonna sue her. I was gonna sue the hell out.
Fat Joe
You know what? Don't use the product, brother. Don't use the product. We don't need a guy high profile like Mike X talking about Top Dog Law. But you know, I love that guy who do them commercials. Yeah, you had an accident, they chop your foot off. You thought you was that guy. Your shit is ending. Your wife thought you was Sly. Not no More when it comes to that time, call Top Dog Long. The God gonna get you out of. You said, nah, that guy, he's the best in commercials.
Jadakiss
Yeah, he is.
Fat Joe
Mike Epps, man, you got the young wife, man.
Jadakiss
Yeah, man.
Fat Joe
You know what?
Jadakiss
My wife wanted me to tell you that. She said, man, tell Joe that his family be stylish. You know. You know how the women at all.
Fat Joe
They know how to spell.
Jadakiss
They see the families all together. You know what I'm saying?
Fat Joe
But I see you. I said, dan, this guy, Mike Epps, man, this guy live a fucking life. And you do whatever the fuck you want. You pull out of old school, you pull out of new school.
Jadakiss
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. You know, hey, man, I was just telling a friend of mine that we all had the pleasure to grow up at the time that we grew up in. Because, man, I wouldn't trade that for nothing in the world. Because I remember being really, really young and the sun was shining different. It was like when you was young, it felt like the sun was hotter. Right?
Fat Joe
That's a fact. Yo, you had to get me. I had to get in the house when the shit went dark.
Jadakiss
Me, too.
Fat Joe
And my mom's a scream, and I'll ignore her. And then TV shows be on. My father take one whistle be on. Everybody knew. They was like, yo, that go upstairs Cuban. Caught one whistle. My mom's a call 20 times. Joey, Joey. My father hit it with that Cuban whistle.
Jadakiss
Just grab the ball. I gotta go.
Fat Joe
He gonna come down here, smack the out of you.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
That could go all the way for wild, affordable.
Fat Joe
Hey, you know your mom just call me.
Jadakiss
You know, my house is all the.
Fat Joe
Way up the block.
Jadakiss
Somebody tell you that, your mom calls you, you better get your ass back down here.
Fat Joe
Hit you with a Jason, Jason, no Jersey time.
Jadakiss
Tell everybody your real name.
Fat Joe
And listen, I used to play with my moms. I used to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, keep playing. We playing ball. Boy, that shit go the whistle, niggas. Yo, yo, go upstairs.
Jadakiss
You ever came in the house too late and the food was put up, you like, damn, where the food? Ain't no food on the stove. He said you missed it.
Fat Joe
About to sell a house. The stove was totally clean.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
White people clean.
Jadakiss
You missed the whole meal.
Fat Joe
You missed it when it comes in.
Jadakiss
Now you wait. Don't warm it up. You better. That dirt, boy.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
I don't want to hear aluminum fo. I don't want to hear the refrigerator.
Fat Joe
Door, none of that. I'm Fat Joe. They never deprived me of a meal they left you. And I was the type, you know, my sisters, they used to pass me cuz they skinny. So if we had some steak, a chicken. They're back. Give it to Joey. He'll eat anything. Like. Give it to Joey. He'll eat anything. I'm over.
Jadakiss
They tried to kill you.
Fat Joe
They tried to kill yo. I was everybody's food up. They knew, yo, just pass that to Joe. That out of here.
Jadakiss
If you could save one boat. If what's the main store or bodega in your neighborhood that you would honestly say fucked you up. Cause I know it was one of them in my neighborhood destroyed me.
Fat Joe
No, we had Ernie's. Ernie, now that you look back at it, God bless Ernie. I'm sure he's dead. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he dead. Listen, sure he's dead.
Jadakiss
I'm sure he did.
Fat Joe
I hope you're alive, Ernie. I hope you're alive.
Jadakiss
That man probably gonna be watching this. To raise up like this.
Fat Joe
The man was unsanitary like a motherfucker. He had this hurt fur in his ears.
Total Wireless Announcer
He.
Fat Joe
He. He didn't groom his ears right. But that made these sausages with the onions with the Ernie's. When your mother sent you to Ernie's, that was a delicacy. It was like going to City island or some. It was like, yo, we're gonna. Because we even got the 50 cent spice ham. That's just a sandwich. We got Ernie's. Ernie's. A buck 25, buck 50. That's when you could buy a whole grocery with that type of money. I don't know how old you are, but I literally.
Jadakiss
I'm 55.
Fat Joe
Okay. We the same age.
Jadakiss
Same age.
Fat Joe
I used to go to supermarket with my mother with $2 and they get the rice, the chicken, a pack of cigarettes and bread and the milk for $2. That's before Christ. Then the fuck you can get on.
Jadakiss
No, that nigga was one. And I don't know how you remember that you was one when that we.
Fat Joe
Had Royal Farms, met food. I love going to the supermarket and the laundromat.
Jadakiss
You sit there, fold clothes with your mama and shit. Other people.
Fat Joe
Let me tell you something. My mom's got paid that laundromat. My mom's got paid. And she. She bring that taxi and she had them bags in her hand that was like, crap. We running out to help her with the bags. Ma, let me help her. She had the old school donuts. Two chocolate.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Yeah.
Fat Joe
Vanilla with the power. And the white round one. Yeah, that was what intimate? Ah, the intimate. You run through that, the glass of milk, it's all. Yeah, yeah.
Jadakiss
And you come out on the porch with one, and one of your friends say, man, go in there and give me one of them. And you know what? You tell him, man, my mother said we can't get nobody nothing.
Fat Joe
Oh, hell no.
Jadakiss
Yeah, my mother said that. I gotta go in the house right now. I can't share nobody. Go in there and give me one of them.
Fat Joe
My shit different. My father was a dictator. We had like, bounty. The tissue. Bounty. One of my friends, we dropped some shit and he grabbed the bounty to wipe it. My father was like, yo, what the fuck?
Jadakiss
He was angry.
Fat Joe
You know how much the bounty cost? Use this shit over here. Not the bounty. I'm like, oh, my God. I think my friend never came back to my house. He grabbed bounty.
Jadakiss
So it had something really real to use the bounty.
Fat Joe
Yo, Mike, my father may rest in peace. I love him. I love him. But he was different. He was different. He'd take you to the store, buy you the fucking plastic coat instead of the leather. He'll embarrass me at every cost.
Jadakiss
Cause he didn't understand your mind frame of what the following designers was. Because he didn't come from that. He came from, what the fuck did.
Fat Joe
You save a dollar?
Jadakiss
I don't know what you talk like when I got upset cause I couldn't get no Jordan. My dad was like, that made you upset. I took and put some pills in the toilet and flushed it and act like I overdosed. And I'm laying on the ground. And they called the. They called. My mother was saying, oh, God, he killed himself. He killed himself. And they called the real paramedics. They showed up. I'm laying on the ground acting like I'm dead. I'm like, oh, Lord.
Fat Joe
Oh, shit.
Jadakiss
Coming in now.
Fat Joe
They gonna blow the spot.
Jadakiss
They was hitting my. They knew wasn't nothing wrong with me. They was hitting my face and my eye was blinking. They was like, you okay?
Fat Joe
You okay?
Jadakiss
So you know what they did? They took me to. They played it all the way out with me. Took me all on the thing and shit. I could hear my brother. Oh, man. They took me down there and made me drink some black charcoal. That's like what you take if you overdose and take some pill. And I drunk it. Cause I was. Cause I was trying to get some Jordans, nigga. And let me tell you some crazy shit. My mother bought me them shoes. Oh, it worked. And my dad was mad. It worked. Yeah. I worked. I had to drink. I had to go all the way through that. She said, I'm gonna go ahead and buy him for.
Fat Joe
Everybody had the leather bomber. My. The most disgusting part about it is my mom's gave the man the $150. Go get him his jacket. I go in there with him in June, man, and he start arguing with the man like, three, four hours, nigga. Everybody come up in there, yo, my pops ain't give a fuck. I don't know how to explain it to you. He arguing with them over $10. Yo, 131, 30. They come out the back. They like special. They came out with the plastic leather bomber. He bought that shit for like $50. He was like, yo. I was like, yo, yo, I don't want the plastic pop. I don't want the N. Yo, I had the plastic man. The nigga fucked me up.
Jadakiss
He didn't know he was hurting you. He thought you looked good in that shit.
Fat Joe
JB Would. Yo. He came back and gave my mother the hundred dollars. Look, fifty dollars.
Jadakiss
Is that why you're into clothes like that?
Fat Joe
Cause they fuck with me?
Jadakiss
Man, that hurt you didn't it with me.
Fat Joe
I was trying to say that I bought three outfits at the beginning of school. I had a green sweatsuit, red one, and a blue one. By the middle of the year, I had a green shirt, green pants. I mean, blue pants and red every day. She was like, that's one thing about.
Jadakiss
I don't know how the fuck y' all grew up here. Because the pressure of being fly is on and popping at a young age, right?
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
I'm telling you, it was a time.
Jadakiss
At a young age, everybody was fucked up.
Fat Joe
You might get a pair of sneakers up.
Jadakiss
How did you figure it out?
Fat Joe
You didn't figured it out when you.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
You figured it out when you got older.
Fat Joe
But it was the.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
You know, you go in the sneaker.
Jadakiss
Store, you can't go to that rack over there.
Fat Joe
It's like a 40 to $60 stay. Home.
Jadakiss
Niggas is angry. That's who end up being criminals, yo. It's still like, listen, some niggas are haters. Nigga, the nigga can't afford it.
Fat Joe
It's still like that. Still like that to this day, when you go to Bell harbor, you know, they got the two jewelry stores.
Jadakiss
A mean broke kill your ass.
Fat Joe
Listen, Bell harbor in Miami.
Jadakiss
To this day, I've been both of them. Hey, man, I'm not lying. I've been so broke before. When I was younger, it was hard when My friends be bragging on the nigga. I was one of them niggas say, shut up. Stop talking about that nigga like that. Dudes was praising the dude, man. I'm like, damn. That's why we can't fucking get none.
Fat Joe
They do that shit now.
Jadakiss
Cause your motherfucking ass. Especially the drug dealer nigga.
Fat Joe
Oh, God. That if you ever see some motherfucker.
Jadakiss
Body kiss her ass. To see the drug dealer kiss ass, that's the king of the kids ass. It's somebody and that's a kiss ass. That is not genuine. People that kiss drug dealers, oh, Lord, that is the worst.
Fat Joe
I watched my brother. My brother, my brother was kingpin. I watched him pull up and niggas used to open that door, carry him out. Yo, listen. A nigga picked him up, listening, acting like this. Like day in the movie. And he pull up, slap. Everybody acting like he kicked. Yeah, yo, money man. So chill car.
Jadakiss
Yeah.
Fat Joe
He fell off. He have a buy him a lollipop or ice pop. I watched a vice versa. I watched him pull up like the Godfather. Like the nigga used to wear the white suit. Walking through the neighborhood, my brother used to come and look like they was paused, sucking them off. Soul legend when he was fucked up. They would not look at this nigga like they was acting like I this, this, that. I seen it with my own eyes. That's prepared me for the future. So when I come up and I get to the bag, they thinking it's like, yo, the money man all over again. I said, no, I watch what y' all did to my brother. I watched people that my brother bought the tv, the furniture. He bought their whole crib. Like, gave it to them like furniture. This, this, that. Wouldn't let them in their house when he needed a meal.
Jadakiss
You know what they was thinking about? He gave us crack money. Fuck him. He gave us the money that he got from a dope thing. Fuck him.
Fat Joe
Sheesh.
Jadakiss
That's how they looked at it.
Fat Joe
That's real shit.
Jadakiss
Because that means the whole game is corrupt and filthy. That's why I was telling the young dudes. They be so shocked about what happens to them in the streets. I say, man, you didn't know that that come with it. I said, nigga, everything. Anything you could think of. Motherfucker's good. That's why the streets ain't really. It's really over. With all these cameras. You be a damn fool, they gonna follow you away from.
Fat Joe
I knew this didn't do. I knew this Dominican dude ain't that crazy.
Jadakiss
Back in the day, you could do some and drive off.
Fat Joe
Now you get away. But now you.
Jadakiss
Now they got the camera that I.
Fat Joe
Watch Dominican dude all the way up on the highway.
Jadakiss
Yeah, that follow you all the way back.
Fat Joe
My brother, what's it like for you? Yes, sir, being a comedian.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Shout out to Country Kitchen, man first.
Jadakiss
Country Kitchen.
Fat Joe
How's that food? I've been watching it on the gram. They took me to the white side over there.
Jadakiss
Yeah, When I seen you at the All Star, I was running so much, man, and. But I should have advised.
Fat Joe
They didn't take me to Country Kitchen. I'd have been there every day, turning up. I was there every day.
Jadakiss
Fire every day.
Fat Joe
What was the go to meal? Everything.
Jadakiss
Yeah, they got everything. Fish? Yeah, they got everything.
Fat Joe
Cornbread was crazy.
Jadakiss
You remember how Jimmy Bronx Cafe. I used to go to Jimmy's Bronze Cafe. I used to do comedy in there.
Fat Joe
The Jimmy's Bronx Cafe. Yeah, I used to do comedy back in them days.
Jadakiss
Yeah, I used to do comedy in the Jimmy's Bronx Cafe. And I used to do comedy at the Sugar Shack with Rob Stapleton. That was on Jerome Avenue.
Fat Joe
Damn.
Jadakiss
This in 1990, 91. Me and Tracy Morgan used to drive up. I be in the car with Tracy. He had a little. A Mazda. And he was riding. We be riding and going, doing them comedy shows and shit. I used to see y', all, man, but you know how it is, man. Y' all had a bunch of niggas. I said, I ain't about to walk up to him and say nothing to him. But I seen y' all at sos. You remember that club, so's Shout Out?
Fat Joe
My brother May used to own the Essos.
Jadakiss
Man, I seen Mike Tyson at Essos. I seen him outside the club. And I seen you one time, I seen you in a club. It was like in Co Op City. It was back in the day. It was a dingy ass little spot.
Fat Joe
Corks, you've been all over New York.
Jadakiss
Oh, man, I used to live in the Bronx. I used to live on a Beach in St. Lawrence.
Fat Joe
Hold that thought right there. I gotta go use the bathroom. Dominique Wilkins used to live on the Bronx, too.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
He did?
Fat Joe
No, Dominique Folker. Dominique Wilkins never been in The Grand Concourse. 165.
Jadakiss
Did he? He must have had a girl up there.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Yeah.
Jadakiss
If you meet girls in them cities, you gonna meet know the city.
Fat Joe
That's a fact.
Jadakiss
I just told my buddy yesterday. I went back in the day, I didn't even know about the Marcy Projects. I. I went, a girl invited me over there. I went in the apartment and when I came out, it was a hundred niggas downstairs. And I asked, I said, damn, where the fuck them niggas come from? She said, oh, they live here. I said, I can't walk out there between them. She said, fuck them bitch ass niggas. And we walked out and I swear them niggas was talking shit to all of. To me and her. And she. I swear this the first time I ever heard a girl say, suck my.
Fat Joe
Dick, you bitch ass bitch.
Jadakiss
I said, what the fuck? I never heard those shit like a girl. Yeah, man, I used to love the bronx. I used to go to bronx bbq.
Fat Joe
Capone, barbecue bbq capone. What's the white guy? Aj aj white. Aj white. I was a fan of aj white was funny. Aj white was funny.
Jadakiss
He the one that said, what's tupac's name spelled backwards? I said, what? He said, kaput. I said, use a dirty. I said, they go. I said, this family go. Fuck you up.
Fat Joe
Yo, man. It was a time where the comedians could say whatever the they want to say. Actually, we wanted you to say some wild like to me, that's comedy Jam. You know, comedians, if they censor you or cancel you, then the world is.
Jadakiss
Supposed to be a comedian.
Fat Joe
Nah, don't, don't because your is. We gotta laugh at ourselves.
Jadakiss
Joe, what's the biggest artist you work with?
Fat Joe
Me, Jay Z. I work with Nas, I work with Eminem. You work with all with Jadakiss.
Jadakiss
You work with a lot of. I work with.
Fat Joe
You know what I'm saying?
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Budget.
Fat Joe
Bonton. When you go reggae, you go Budget. I work with so many people. I was so blessed. The JLo's the. Yeah, I think JLo probably the richest person I worked with. Yo, JLo go one time. This is Fat Fat Joe.
Jadakiss
Yeah.
Fat Joe
And she got a show three, three Fat Joes ago. And she wants me to do some stories, a show with her, Jingle Balls or some shit like that, right? And she rent. What's the name of it? Is it Jingle Balls or Jingle Bells? What's the name of it? Come on, Mike, it's Jingle Balls.
Jadakiss
I think it's Nigga to the same. I think it's.
Fat Joe
I didn't make the name up. Anyway, let me tell a story. She asked me to come. She. They asked me what was my favorite meal. And I said burger King. And man, they rented the whole. Not first class. She paid every ticket on the plane. Says 100 something seats. It was just us first Class fucking Burger King on every chair.
Jadakiss
Wow.
Fat Joe
And we came over here to do the show where she don't give a JLo. Blow the bag, bro. You imagine American Airlines shit was empty. Just us first class. She paid for every ticket.
Jadakiss
You think she was just sues rendezvous?
Fat Joe
She might have been. I don't think she sues rendezvous one time. She been there? I don't think she worked there.
Jadakiss
No, I'm just saying you think she been in there one time? Yeah, at least once.
Fat Joe
Well, she could have been in the wedge. You know the wedge. That shit was bullet wedge. Like the Rolex.
Jadakiss
Is that like Sin City?
Fat Joe
The city was a little better. Yeah. It was under. It was wedge was like. I remember, I never forget I took a Scarface in that. He was looking like yo, these bitch like every got a buck 50 or a bullet scar. That the wedge, the wedge, that that Hunt's Point. One way in, one way out.
Odoo Announcer
Woo.
Jadakiss
Hunter's Point.
Fat Joe
Like I wouldn't go nowhere the near it right now.
Jadakiss
Did you see that pimp movie that Brent Owens did about Hunter's Point? You ain't never seen that happen back in the day. Like the pimp stuff.
Fat Joe
Hold that. You ain't never seen that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jadakiss
Ye with Brent Owens and it had hunters. Had hunters documentaries.
Fat Joe
Yeah, you seen that really was like that.
Jadakiss
And I see this area right here.
Fat Joe
Was where you see these skyscrapers and all this shit. It's called Hudson Yards. This is where all the hoes and pimps was like real pimps. If you came through here and they were.
Jadakiss
They had everything down south.
Fat Joe
Down south. Everywhere they came out here. I seen some shit out here one time. Yeah, this was crazy. This was very. This was the pimp, this was the blame. This was Hunts Point, was the dirty blade, man, this was it right here. Motherfuckers in Cadillacs, pimps and Rolls Royces all type of shit. They was getting a lot of money back in them day.
Jadakiss
Yeah, see that's the thing about that about pimping man is that you didn't think about New York, you know what I mean? You wouldn't know that unless you San.
Fat Joe
Francisco had a lot of pimps when I used to go out there. Minnesota had a lot of pimps.
Jadakiss
Yeah, that's that Midwest. They on the lake, Minnetonka Lake. They was out there on the lakeland.
Fat Joe
Of them girls who was in the Minnetonka Lake Prince and all.
Jadakiss
That's that famous lake. And they go yeah, you see a boat out there and you see the girls on the boat, you see the pimp his hair with the perm, the girl, you see his hair float back. That's one thing. Funny thing, man. Like Vegas, if you go to like a diner at 4:30 in the morning, you'll see all the pimps, them and the girls will be done and they be all eating. And he'd be sitting there talking to them.
Fat Joe
Yeah.
Jadakiss
Impatient.
Fat Joe
Ketchup right there.
Jadakiss
And I told you, get back down there. Cause I gotta. Yeah, put the salt right there. And all the girls be eating it. He said, yeah, that's what I was saying.
Fat Joe
In San Francisco, you go in that diner and it be nothing but pimps.
Jadakiss
Yeah. With all the girls and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fat Joe
With dead ass. Serious.
Jadakiss
That's Fillmore and Hunters.
Fat Joe
They got a Hunter's Point too in San Francisco.
Jadakiss
Hunter's Point in Phil. Yep, in San Francisco. And a Hunter's Point here.
Fat Joe
That shit crazy.
Jadakiss
Yeah, it's crazy, man.
Fat Joe
Man, the pimp game, huh? I don't miss those days, huh? Me either.
Jadakiss
That's kind of.
Fat Joe
That's one hustle.
Jadakiss
It's like you scaring somebody to be with you. Like the girl scared to leave.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
The girls is tough. The girls is tough though, because they.
Fat Joe
They. That's a hell of a job.
Jadakiss
It is horrible. It's slimy.
Fat Joe
That's horrible.
Jadakiss
It's. It's a slimy job.
Fat Joe
It's a sad. It's just I never got it and I used to try to get it. When I thought about it, I said, man, this. These niggas going to hell.
Jadakiss
Like. Yeah.
Fat Joe
Think about what they was doing to them girls.
Jadakiss
Yeah. Cause you really. Yeah, because it's really. And that's. I think why they give them so much time is because the manipulation part of it, it's like brainwashing. Like how they did hell, brainwashing. What's his name, Charles Manson Fighting. Kind of what they. Yeah, it's kind of what they gave him. The time. Yeah. Because if they think you got that much control over somebody mind you could call. You can make somebody do anything. So that's dangerous. Yeah, you like. You like the killer. Really? If you making somebody out of a mo. Control. So I think that's what that is. You know what I mean?
Fat Joe
Yeah. That shit crazy. In regards to comedy, did you ever have an arch nemesis or what's one show you pulled up to that other people was on the card that you was like, yo, I gotta kill this shit.
Jadakiss
Oh, man, all them motherfuckers. I never really had friends in comedy. I Can't honestly say that. You know what I mean? The art form itself is not like rap music or any other thing. It's a one man band.
Fat Joe
You everything.
Jadakiss
Yeah, you're everything. You don't. That's why it's, like, so dark. It makes you really, really cocky, and it's kind of hard. You kind of gotta be like an Eddie Murphy in those positions to be like, hey, what's up, man? You know? But coming up in it, that shit is cutthroat for sure. It is. It really is. That shit is damn near worse than the rap game. I'm serious. The shit that didn't happen, the shit I done heard, the shit I ain't even gotta say, they names, them niggas is off the chain. I done been off the chain, so I know what it is. It's dark. It's a dark art form. It don't brighten up until it starts paying you. And you can get therapy with it. You can buy your piece a little bit.
Fat Joe
Yeah. Cause I see a lot of the comedians commit suicide, all type of shit.
Jadakiss
Across the dark lives.
Fat Joe
These are the guys that make us laugh. Like, what's my man? Mark and Mindy.
Jadakiss
Yeah, Robin Williams.
Fat Joe
He was hilarious, bro.
Jadakiss
Yeah.
Fat Joe
And, you know, just every time I studied comedians, they always have, like, you know, dark lies.
Jadakiss
Well, you guys get shot.
Fat Joe
Oh, no, we get murdered at our prom. At least we get murdered.
Jadakiss
And how dark that is. Get murdered. I guarantee both of you got some damn near life experiences with this. Y' all said. Y' all didn't. Y' all didn't say anything.
Fat Joe
I'll tell you what happened to me one time. I know.
Jadakiss
Motherfucker didn't tell me.
Fat Joe
I'll tell you what happened to me one time.
Jadakiss
I'm telling you straight up. Pull up.
Fat Joe
It's a club in Manhattan, and I got the ugly ones with me. Like, the real ugly ones. They all in jail forever, right?
Jadakiss
Yeah.
Fat Joe
We pull up Fat Joe show, it's like a thousand people there. Shit is rampack, right? When you show up, they give you your second half or whatever the deposit is. We ain't even talking about big money, right? So he said, yo, the man downstairs.
Jadakiss
So I go downstairs, how much you think you getting?
Fat Joe
4,000, 7,000 or something? So they had to give me 3, 500.
Jadakiss
Yeah, right?
Fat Joe
So I go downstairs. Italian dude sitting there, he mad as hell. Like, yo, my man, we need our second half. He's just ignoring us. Face me and my man Flex, he's like, yo, he got an attitude. I was like, yo, bro, you know, it's a thousand people upstairs to see Fat Joe. This shit is. Ran back with my money. So Flex started talking to him. You know, Flex Rest in Peace. Was like, w. You start talking crazy. This nigga pulled out the biggest gun, and we in the big. The whole club is partying up there.
Jadakiss
Italian dude, we in the big bro.
Fat Joe
We turn around, he's busting at us. We running. And I got the ugly ones outside, but they got no clue that this is happening. I got the ugly ones. I got horrible guys with me outside, but this shit is going. We run upstairs, we go outside. Then his people close the gate like a happy land with people in there. A thousand people. They knew the routine. If he shoot at you, close the gates even with the people in there. So we outside like, n. Come outside this and that, man. Let me tell you something. The next day or something. My man Big Fred, God bless him, he used to work security there. He came with the 3500 and was like, yo, they had shut down the club. That was going to be the last day. You know, the. The police came and said, yo, you got to shut down this club. So that's. The Italian was tight. I don't know. He was tight over that. It had nothing to do. But he shot at us, and we ran the fuck up out of there. That was.
Jadakiss
I didn't even know who you was.
Fat Joe
He didn't give a who I was. He lost his lick. He lost. He lost the ball, the club. He was gonna shoot at anything. He didn't give a. And we was talking extra spicy. You. Man, y' all smack the. Out of you. You don't give me my hat. This is that. Pull that out.
Jadakiss
Sparking, wasn't it?
Fat Joe
Them shits was gonna. Yeah, through that hallway. We running through that little hole. Wait.
Jadakiss
Yeah.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
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Fat Joe
Right here.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
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Fat Joe
Let's get to it.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
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Ed Helms
Hey everyone, Ed Helms here.
Kal Penn
And hi, I'm Kal Penn and we're the hosts of Irsay the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club.
Ed Helms
This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?
Jadakiss
You know what?
Fat Joe
I can see you as Mr. Darcy. You got a little Colin Firth.
Ed Helms
Okay, that's really sweet, I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett here. Listen to Irsay the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Richard Sherman
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Fat Joe
We the Ones Comedy Tour. Tell us about that.
Jadakiss
We the Ones Comedy Tour is a tour that. This our third year, and, man, we done had some of the best young, hot comedians from D.C. young fly to Carlos Miller, Mojo Brooks. Last year, we had Lil Duvall, Country Wayne. We switch it up every year, man. This year we got those guys. Mojo brush, Carls Miller, D.C. young, fly me, J. Ski. I'm. I'm headlining this year. I usually host it, but this time I'm going up last and I'm gonna be the OG On Look.
Fat Joe
I hate that, though. I hate when you. When you, like, you know, Martin called me a couple of times, he do this type shit, and he'll come out and be like, thank you. Like, I'm waiting for.
Jadakiss
Do that. No, I don't do that right here.
Fat Joe
You ever got jerked in one of those? I come in, there's a bunch of dudes I don't know.
Jadakiss
I'm doing everything.
Fat Joe
Yeah, he's there.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
You see him all night it up.
Jadakiss
Yeah. And I can go up behind all of them and still do 30 minutes. I got that in me. You know what? I'm. I'm one of them comics.
Fat Joe
For a fact, in the. In. In the comedy, there's definitely got to be people who. They got to be biters. That is, like, back in the days, they used to have guys that hear your rhymes and then they go put it on wax before you as fucking hits. Like with y'. All. You ever heard somebody talking that and you like, yo, what the. That's my joke.
Jadakiss
Yeah, the whole business.
Fat Joe
Oh, Mike. Hey.
Jadakiss
Well, I'm gonna tell you some crazy shit. This is how you know that you. When you really own. When a big motherfucker steals something from you and you like, damn. And you saying to yourself. You know what you say when you see a big motherfucker that stole something from you? You said he had to hear from a small motherfucker that stole it from me. You know what I mean? He didn't get it directly from me. No. A small motherfucker stole it from me and got around him and he.
Fat Joe
He ran with the way.
Jadakiss
Yeah, you know that motherfucker. Oh, a th. He gone. You remember, motherfucker take your bicycle. You might not never see it again. You might see the frame on your handlebars. Yeah, nigga, man, them are my forks. They got. That bike is dissected and gone.
Fat Joe
You know what's crazy. I stole a truck once, right? Now I'm gonna keep it real. Automobile truck, right? I had the same truck, but this guy had the. The wide body kit, the. Yo, God bless you, man. I gave back so much. God covered me for that. And the karma. Well, I stole a truck. It was in. We went to a nice neighborhood. They had the fancy hood. They had everybody. We took that. Nah, we stole that. We took the. We took it to the shop. They put the hood. The was stated when they two chop. It was the flyest truck in the south, bro. Sound system, this and that. About six months later. They stole that shit from me, man. They found nothing.
Jadakiss
That's right.
Fat Joe
Motherfucker took every that. Karma come right back. They stole that shit.
Jadakiss
See, that's what made me a thief. I got everything that ever happened to me. I was not that yet until it happened to me. I did not fucking get in the streets until the streets happened to me. They stole my bike, and I said, hell, no. I'm stealing bikes. Nigga jumped me. I said, hell, no. I'm jumping niggas. Motherfuckers snuffed me. I said, nope, I'm snuffing niggas. They rob me. I'm robbing niggas.
Fat Joe
I'm not lying.
Jadakiss
It make you do that.
Fat Joe
That's why they say jail's a terrible place. Cause you go in there for one thing. You come back and you learn. Niggas done taught you how to steal everything moving.
Jadakiss
That's right, you run into real career criminals. That's why I always said. I said, you know, when you young and you go in one of them badass little kid's house, and you see pictures of him when he young on his mantle, you like, oh, fuck him. He ain't. You know, he ain't that bad. But then it was kids that smell like pee that you know didn't have parents. They'll kill your ass. That's the motherfucker that. He's jealous of you. While y' all together, y' all supposed to be shooting at another motherfucker. He's the one that shoots you in the back.
Fat Joe
I seen shit like that. He's telling the truth. Not in person. No, not your kiss. Not in person. I seen videos that smell like. Pete that been through shit.
Jadakiss
He killing you, nigga. In a robbery, you got the gun out, he behind you. He shoot you in the back. Pow.
Fat Joe
Look, I used to be jealous.
Jadakiss
He already wanted to be jealous of my best friend.
Fat Joe
And I had my mother and father, but his relationship with him and his dad, I used to be so jealous cause he was tight. I'd be like, damn, my dad wasn't even around. My father don't hug me like that. The don't hurt him. Show me love like that.
Jadakiss
I was just getting jealous of you. Just now when you said was talking about your dad, I was saying, would he shut the fuck up? But I didn't say nothing. I acted like I you saying I.
Fat Joe
Was blessed with him even getting the cheap coat.
Jadakiss
What? Man, my dad used to pick me and my brother up. And God bless his soul, I love him still. My dad used to go pick me and my brother up and act like he was gone, take us for the weekend and drop us over another lady house. And my mother said, how was it? I was like, we was over a bitch named Pat House all weekend. She was like, pat? I was like, yep, we was over Pat House. This nigga was out with another lady. I don't know what the fuck he was doing. But what I love about him is that he did make sure he knew who he was. So that part of me, I'm glad I'm not a grown man trying to find out where and who my father was. That's a whole nother level of the game that I got friends like that.
Fat Joe
Don'T know where they.
Jadakiss
Yeah, they act like I'm they daddy sometime. Yeah, and niggas, your friends act like you their daddy. Well, there's ones that don't have a daddy. If you know, when I'm in the position, niggas start acting. They, I ain't fucking with them. I tell the nigga, I ain't your daddy, nigga. And them niggas get mad. I'm gonna kill you, nigga. You said somebody. I ain't sitting like that. But I'm just telling you the nucleus of the mental health part of people, you know what I'm saying? That's some real shit. Somebody that don't know their father, you dealing with a whole nother type of person, you know, it's hard being a stepdad. A lot of them are strong. The strongest people you ever want to meet are people who are missing something.
Fat Joe
Yes.
Jadakiss
You know what I'm saying? That is the strongest person.
Fat Joe
Those are the strongest. They have to go through the most adverse.
Jadakiss
Yeah, yeah. They the leaders. Like my wife. God bless her, sir. Her dad passed when she was young. She didn't know who he was. But my wife is so powerful and resilient, and she. I'm the bitch when it come to Her I be sitting there crying about some shit, and she say, oh, man, that's right. I ain't never seen a woman that stronger than a man like that.
Fat Joe
Every now and then, somebody get a.
Jadakiss
Flat out of here, man.
Fat Joe
Every now.
Jadakiss
You know what? The flag.
Fat Joe
Every now and then, somebody get the flag.
Jadakiss
Huh?
Fat Joe
He the. Yo, listen. I ain't the only one that get the flag.
Jadakiss
Hey, yeah, nigga. Cause I have seen some pictures with you and your wife, and you looked at humble than the.
Fat Joe
I looked like I was the. In the relationship. Yes.
Jadakiss
Y' all had pink on and everything. I said, she made him put the pink on the pink Rolls Royce and everything. Let me tell you, he got some flyers in his head. I said, she didn't melt it. That.
Fat Joe
All we want is peace and harmony.
Jadakiss
All we want is anything. That's it. I'll do anything for that.
Fat Joe
All I want is seek the kingdom up.
Jadakiss
Seek the kingdom up.
Fat Joe
No beef.
Jadakiss
Well, I got a TV show coming with Kenya Barris. Me and him wrote a movie.
Fat Joe
I got a TV show with Kenya, too, son. Oh, yeah?
Jadakiss
Yeah, yeah.
Fat Joe
Your kids are hustling Jimmy's Bronx Cafe, baby.
Jadakiss
Yeah. The Upshaws is coming out. The last season of the Upshaws, me and Wanda Sykes on Netflix. Only on Netflix, y' all come out January 20th. I got another movie coming out with Kevin Hart, 75.
Fat Joe
Some.
Jadakiss
Me and this. I. I don't know the name of the. It was a big butt wide, big budget, wide movie. You know what I mean? I got a little piece of money out of. You know.
Fat Joe
But you stay working, you stay blessed. Because you seem. It's almost. Comedians are like America. You either rich or you dirt poor. I don't believe that. I see some. It ain't no middle class. Nah, it ain't. There ain't no middle class. It's either you rich or you poor. You either sleeping in your car.
Jadakiss
Cause it's a lot of comedians.
Fat Joe
Cause there's a lot of comedians.
Jadakiss
And all of our stories are like that. That's why I'm saying, man, I moved to New York in 1991 and didn't know nobody from Indiana.
Fat Joe
And what, you thought, like, you was gonna blow up here, like, that's what the deal was.
Jadakiss
I came here and lived for 10 years. Rode the trains everywhere. You know, one thing I did, I said, I gotta start wearing what them niggas wear. So I went and Boston, Timberlands. I started learning the club. Cause the shit I had when I got here from Indiana, when I was dating girls, they was like, you gotta take that shit off. You know, New York girls, they liked me, but they was just laughing at my accent. They was like, you gotta take that shit off. I had a long leather trench coat with like a.
Fat Joe
A peacock.
Jadakiss
Yeah, that had a three quarter length with a strap. That motherfucker strapped my wife, man. My girl said, the girl I was with, she said, you gotta take that shit off. You know what I mean? Yeah, I had some girlfriends, man, all over in the Bronx, man. I done been on the train. I done been on the sixth train with a girl riding, going to do shows. And that was the crazy thing about my journey, is that I was here for 10 years. I've been around everybody and everything. And I was a ghost. Nobody even seen me. And I said to myself, if I was a hitman, I could have killed the whole hip hop business. Yeah, you could have, because I was at the Shark Bar. I've been in Puffy's restaurant. I done been standing right next to Jay Z at the Latin Quarters. He was about to go on the stage. Nigga had a polo shirt on and a little hat. I swear to God, I'm not lying to you. And I was a ghost. I was sitting there. I watched everything. But I did a lot of comedy shows. I used to do shows with talent, man. I used to host the Peppermint Lounge. It was a club in Jersey off the chain. Motherfucker be dead in front of it. They still got the show going tretch naughty by nature and them coming there every night off the chain. But I be telling this story to tell kids that. Especially kids that are not from big cities. Because believe it or not, these small towns and small cities, some of the realest motherfuckers you ever met in your life come from them towns I'm talking about stomped down cold hard. The only way you could really find out street niggas is. Is to go to the feds and a nigga from Stanky Hall, Texas, Wichita, Kansas, cut your head off, bro. You know what I'm saying? So you have to understand, there's real motherfuckers all over the world. And I came to this city, man, and I didn't have nothing. I got on Def Comedy Jam. The first thing I ever did that I got on here, I was an extra on New York Undercover. It had Malik Yobo and the little Spanish dude. I'm sitting there looking at Malik talking shit, and he laughing at me because I had an accent. He said, man, where you from? I said, I'm from Indiana. And, oh, man, tell you, I got some cold stories. I was dating a girl that was in the Marcy projects. This before I even knew anything about Jay Z. Her name was Peanut. And I'm dating her. And I go up, she invite me to the project. Hell yeah. I go. She invite me to the project. I go to the projects, and I go upstairs. This the first time I smell Fizzy elevator. I'm talking about, damn. I'm in New York. I'm from Indiana, man. I come downstairs and when I walk out, I mean, before I walk out, I see a hundred stand.
Fat Joe
I'm like, where the fuck did they come from?
Jadakiss
They on both sides of the door. And she like, oh, fuck them.
Fat Joe
Come on.
Jadakiss
I'm like, oh, no, ain't no, fuck them, nigga. But ain't nowhere to go.
Fat Joe
Gotta go through. They got these skits on Instagram now. Like, with dudes come and take their girl to their crib, and it's in the projects. There's 10 in that. Yo, nigga, let me tell you something.
Jadakiss
Them niggas was talking shit. They must have knew her. They grew up with her. Cause, yeah, they grew up with her. I told him that was the first time I ever heard a girl tell him, suck my dick, bitch ass nigga. I said, what the fuck?
Fat Joe
I ain't never.
Jadakiss
Because I ain't never heard no girl tell a this. I didn't know you had a dick.
Fat Joe
Yeah, yeah, flagrant out here. It blew my mind.
Jadakiss
That was a wild to me. You know what I'm saying? I said, oh, Lord, I'm glad they knew her. Because if they didn't know her, they were saying her real name.
Fat Joe
They were saying, oh, thank God she wasn't saying, because we used to have girls in my business.
Jadakiss
She probably was. Oh, see, I wouldn't have came over.
Fat Joe
Oh, no. The shotgun come out.
Jadakiss
Boom.
Fat Joe
Yo, you got to run your jewels.
Jadakiss
Yeah, you got to run it. But that was all drug dealer shit.
Fat Joe
That's how that shit went. Yeah, Comedy Mount Rushmore.
Jadakiss
Come on. Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, or Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac and Robin Harris, can't nobody beat that five.
Fat Joe
Monster five.
Jadakiss
Who gonna beat that five? Who gonna beat that five?
Fat Joe
Man, nobody beating that Richard Pry.
Jadakiss
You know what?
Fat Joe
Hold up, yo. There is an exception. I didn't hear Dave Chappelle. Well, Dave Chappelle.
Jadakiss
Dave Chappelle is. He's younger than me.
Fat Joe
Don't matter.
Jadakiss
He ain't up there with them. To me, that's my opinion. Now I have to put him in a category. That's right.
Fat Joe
After them, bro.
Jadakiss
Yeah. You can't tell the kids that me and him looking up at the same person. See what I'm saying?
Fat Joe
I get it. I'm the same way. Say, if it was hip hop, we would get your Ll Yes Care rash like that we ain't gonna mention. Like.
Jadakiss
You will get mad if a tried to say you and, like, wanted you to look up the Tim Dog.
Fat Joe
Let me tell you something.
Jadakiss
If A try to get you to look up to Tim.
Fat Joe
Let me tell you a story, though. That's crazy that he said that.
Jadakiss
Hold up, man. How about.
Fat Joe
Can I say something? Can I fucking say something? How about none of us in the Bronx know nothing about Tim Dog. Tim Dog was the first six nine. The nigga had real niggas behind him from the nine. But we never knew where the fuck Tim Dogg was from. He left. He fucked Compton. I'm from the Bronx. I'm from the. We don't know where Tim Dog is from.
Jadakiss
He wasn't from the Bronx.
Fat Joe
You can't go to a building and say, this is Tim Dog's. Nobody knew where he was from. You lying. Many years later. I don't give a fuck. What I'm trying to tell you is, I'm trying to think about did some brave. He had dudes behind him that were the real deal. That was the 9.
Jadakiss
In the 90s.
Fat Joe
I dare you try to call your cousin in the Bronx to tell us.
Jadakiss
Where'S Tim Dorks everybody. And he was saying he was from the Bronx, but he had the. He had the west coast mad at the Bronx.
Fat Joe
He also had. Listen, that might have started East Coast, west coast beat. Let me explain.
Jadakiss
That was the first one.
Fat Joe
It's the first blow. I'm trying to tell you. When 6ix9ine was talking that. Yeah, I'm asking my man, who's the guy standing behind him? And they're like, yo, that's such.
Jadakiss
And such.
Kal Penn
That's such.
Fat Joe
He's the real deal. Made me think 6ix9ine was real because I'm looking at the video, he's talking all that shit. Everybody behind him is the real deal. Tim dog was the first 6ix9ine. He was out there. Fuck Compton, I'm from New York. This. That Everybody behind him was the realest. I knew who's coming? Tim Dog. But I'm just trying to tell you, I try to do the math. After I thought about Tim Dog, and I was like, yo, where Tim Dog from? And I'm asking every in the Bronx, and nobody could point to the building or the hood, Like. Like they knew everybody standing behind them. Yeah, that was. I. God rest in peace. Yeah, that was all the non guys. They was the real deal.
Jadakiss
But him, Tim Dog.
Fat Joe
Cause the boy some you. Yeah, I'm telling you. Yo, Google up to Google. Tim Dog. Where's he at to now? I'm telling you the truth.
Total Wireless Announcer
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Jadakiss
They do Castle Hill. No, just kidding. He from Castle Hill. I seen him at Vim.
Fat Joe
Tim Dog died. Oh, God bless Tim Dog.
Jadakiss
That nigga was eating them White Castles, man. White Castles on the fdr. You remember that? White Castle.
Fat Joe
White Castle still popping.
Jadakiss
I used to eat that White Castle. I used to shop at that. Models. I used to live in the Bronx. I'm telling you.
Fat Joe
Yeah, I know. He talking about by Soundview.
Jadakiss
Man, I used to. I swear. I used to go on Fordham Road and shop. And my buddies got out of prison. They used to come. I used to fly them.
Fat Joe
Y' all watch them. A dude up on Fordham Road the other day on Instagram. You heard?
Jadakiss
Yeah, Kiss.
Fat Joe
They beat the brakes off this dude. But he deserved. He was like a homeless dude, butt naked, and some dude got it into him, and he was fighting.
Total Wireless Announcer
He was.
Fat Joe
About the guy. No, I'm telling. I swear to God. Yo, listen. Yo, Cake. Okay?
Jadakiss
Could you believe his penis is gonna touch your leg?
Fat Joe
Tell you. Yo, hold up. I'm gonna tell you.
Jadakiss
You're gonna hear some meat. You gonna hear something doing like this. You're gonna hear something. Like something is gonna do like this.
Fat Joe
Can I say this for me, that's my point. This is flagrant, man. Yo, this is foul. Yo, listen. I'm trying to tell you. Yo, all right? I want everybody on here to Google this. Listen.
Jadakiss
The conversation.
Fat Joe
Yo, let me tell a story. Don't, man.
Jadakiss
You run off the road every time.
Fat Joe
Okay, now. Now can we. Now can we clear the floor? I don't make this up. I don't make this up. I just tell it like it is. It's a big homeless ass naked on Fordham Road.
Jadakiss
Here we go.
Fat Joe
He argued. Listen, listen, Mike. He arguing with the dude. The dude try to fight him. The dude try to fight him. He's butt naked.
Jadakiss
It was horrible.
Fat Joe
This guy starts the dude up.
Jadakiss
The naked.
Fat Joe
The whole neighborhood. Even the pause, the frankfurter, man, the ladies, everybody beat this nigga's ass. The butt naked dude. The whole Fordham road jumped them 50. Like, yo, the out of here. Like, yo, when I say the ladies walked by and was like, boom. Like. Like he was five.
Jadakiss
Yeah.
Fat Joe
Cause it's kids around six, seven, four.
Jadakiss
That nigga's ass prolie.
Fat Joe
Yeah. Yo, he butt naked in the middle of daytime. It looked like the morning. Yo, yo, Mike, he about to beat the out of the kiddo. It's one guy who had the courage to be like, yo, my man, what the you doing? He start beating them up. You hear what I'm saying?
Jadakiss
Deal with a. I mean, just.
Fat Joe
Even when it go next to a naked homeless person. No, no, but he's talking about police.
Jadakiss
It's hard for them because they got a up.
Fat Joe
Yeah, they got a lock of naked ass. I think they do that often. I think they do that often too. That's not a far fetcher. I'm saying I seen the video. Y' all could Google it. The little guy tried to tell him, my man, you was woman out here. Like, fuck you. I don't know what it was. I couldn't hear the volume.
Jadakiss
Yeah.
Fat Joe
But they scrapped. And the butt naked nigga was getting the best of him in the middle, man. They beat the brakes off this month. They hit this nigga with the frankfurter truck. Everybody got in on this shit. You know, in the neighborhood. They don't want to. They tight at this shit. The nicest guy in the world walked by and stomped that nigga. They all gave it to him. Like everybody, the whole neighborhood are y'.
Jadakiss
All gonna be in the music. I know y' all gonna be in the Hip Hop Museum, man.
Fat Joe
Yeah, yeah. I with the. I with the Hip Hop Museum. Shout out Ruben Diaz. No, it's gonna be Bronx to the Bronx by 149th. Yo, what's up?
Jadakiss
They do you want to with it? They saying they doing.
Fat Joe
It's in the Bronx, man. Shout out to Rocky. Shout out to Ruben Diaz. We just. That's where they gave me the award. It's going to be in the Bronx where hip hop started.
Jadakiss
And the locks, man, I'm telling you. Let me tell you something about the locks.
Fat Joe
It's like a fry. I thought I was fried. My guest, he fried the locks.
Jadakiss
Got. Cause y' all got fans in Cincinnati and shit like that. Fuck with all that. Y' all touched a lot of Midwest motherfuckers. Joe got a lot of Florida. They love you in Florida.
Fat Joe
The trumpets, huh?
Jadakiss
Florida.
Fat Joe
They fuck with Joe Crack, huh? But you know, it's people.
Jadakiss
It's the older people down in Florida. They don't even know you rap. They just know you as to who you are. And if you say, you ever heard.
Fat Joe
Of Fat Joe Song, he said, I.
Jadakiss
Didn'T know he Made music. I said, yeah, that's where he. Then after the music, you say, you know, Fat Joe was a drug.
Fat Joe
I didn't know.
Jadakiss
And they see them pictures when you.
Fat Joe
Had the big black coat, no Dapper Darren shit and all that.
Jadakiss
No, this was an army military. Thought you didn't have no money. You was poor as a motherfucker. In this video. I seen this video I'm talking about. You was on welfare.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Military.
Fat Joe
That's why I'll never hate on you.
Jadakiss
When I see you in front of them rolls, voices with them outfits. I said, that nigga deserve that shit. Cause I seen that nigga poor.
Fat Joe
You see me with the herringbone chain, not. You didn't have nothing.
Jadakiss
You had a black. The black army jacket and some boots. You was dusty as hell. So when I see you clean, I'm like, oh, that nigga deserve that shit.
Fat Joe
This is what I'm trying to say. Jadakis too damn dusty, nigga.
Jadakiss
In the first lot. Them first lot. Them first motherfucker. Ooh. That young Jadakis was going to prison. That's why when I seen Jadicus real father, I said, ain't no way in hell that nice ass man had that dusty ass little boy like that. I said, he didn't do nothing that man told him to do. I said, how the hell. I said, that nigga's father look like a principal in high school. How the hell he have a dusty ass criminal, criminal son like that? I think that boy didn't do nothing that man told him to do.
Fat Joe
That's a fact. Yo, man, but thank God, man. We made it through the. We slipped through the cracks, man. And that's what we be trying to like. I told you the truth. I get up every day and I can't believe it. I swear to God. I'm telling you all guys, God is real. Did you get up? No. I can't believe that I own a house.
Jadakiss
Like, literally.
Fat Joe
I can't believe I literally own a house. I'm just saying. I can't believe. I can't believe I own the Metro. Yo, listen, yo, this guy's crazy. I can't believe I own a house. I can't believe I got a car. Can't believe. You know, shit was fucked up when I grew up. This shit is the simple things, the littlest things.
Jadakiss
Get mad a little bit sometime when you see. Do you kind of get mad some? I mean, you don't get mad, but sometimes I get a little frustrated with my kids because I wish.
Fat Joe
Sometimes I wish they.
Jadakiss
I Wish they went. They could live a week.
Fat Joe
They can go back and do a.
Jadakiss
Week, and that's it.
Fat Joe
Man, this one week, they come back.
Jadakiss
And be humble as a motherfucker. I know, man.
Fat Joe
You know what the problem is?
Jadakiss
They. I can't even explain it to them. You know what I mean?
Fat Joe
Never gonna reach.
Jadakiss
Yeah, I can't explain it to him. I'm happy that I could do it for him, but I'm mad, too.
Fat Joe
We didn't toast, Jada. We ain't toast yet. This to the Talk Comedy Tour. Yeah, we the ones, y'.
Jadakiss
All.
Fat Joe
We the ones talk.
Jadakiss
Your tickets available right now.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Wealth, knowledge, yourself. Make sure you get tickets to the comedy tour.
Fat Joe
Man, explain something to you. 30 years.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
30 year. And there's more to come.
Fat Joe
Yo, Mike, let me explain. Cindy, this podcast.
Jadakiss
Yeah.
Fat Joe
Then there's the Joe and Jada.
Jadakiss
Y' all doing a great job, man. How many episodes y' all got?
Fat Joe
Like 50 something now.
Jadakiss
Oh, you.
Fat Joe
Oh, no, we hydroplaning right now. Shit. Might.
Jadakiss
So y' all can know I did Noriega's first one. The Drink champs. I did the first fucking drink champ. I was the first one on there. And look at his ass. That. I'm telling you, this is the best thing that could ever happen to us. And it's good that y' all doing it now. Cause it's scary to burn out if you ain't in. It's over with.
Fat Joe
Because you know I'm telling the truth. And it's hard to get a good combination because they've been saying. They've been saying they get in the bag and all that. Now I see everybody's mother and cousin with a podcast. I said, yo, I hope I ain't. It don't. It don't work. We ain't missed.
Jadakiss
It ain't.
Fat Joe
It ain't working. The wire, the train.
Jadakiss
No, it don't.
Total Wireless Announcer
It don't.
Jadakiss
It ain't working. It ain't working.
Fat Joe
No, no, no, no. Everybody coming up to, yo, congratulations on yours. I got mine. I'm like, that's right, brother. Because I never been a hater. Like, all right, brother, no problem. This guys. I know. They don't even talk two words. They're like, yo, I got my own podcast, yo. It's like, good luck. Like, go ahead. But I'm like, yo, did we miss the golden. The golden age?
Jadakiss
No, the combination gotta work.
Fat Joe
Too.
Jadakiss
You. You. You gotta always remember you. You came in the door already made. You already made.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
That's the you say, too.
Jadakiss
See what I'm Saying it's hard to make yourself. And then make yourself. You gotta. I'm gonna make myself. Now, that's. That's like a Stephen A or something. That's like one out of a million. Somebody that really didn't know that just make their personality just attract. You know what?
Fat Joe
I knew, you know, when I knew we was being. Yeah, we had Stephen A. Smith two days ago on here, and he shitted on me on my own show. Do you know what that told me? When I went home, I thought to myself, I said, we gotta be on fire. He made it his business to come on here and shit on me. He see us like, the train is coming, baby. The train is. I'm telling you, when somebody that big turn around and snipe, you say, Mike Epps is coming up in the game. And he get a little yeah, baby kids to diss him. He said, oh, I'm. I must be.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
They, they.
Total Wireless Announcer
They.
Fat Joe
They feeling the.
Jadakiss
Yeah, you gotta look at that. Cause they ain't gonna pick on you if you ain't popping on their radar. Yeah.
Fat Joe
He said, hold up.
Jadakiss
If a like too. If he likes too much.
Fat Joe
I told him, yo, I want to be the Knicks commentator. He said, nah, nah, nah. That ain't gonna work. He like, yo, don't come in this space.
Jadakiss
Did he say that?
Fat Joe
Yeah, he said that. I agree with him. Cause he said, man, you tell. He said, joe, you tell. He said, you tell so much stories.
Jadakiss
Nobody could tell you what you can't do, man.
Fat Joe
Yeah, yeah, Stephen A. Was up here, but I saw what it was. We fucking everybody up. Everybody dizzy right now. They can't believe the shit that's going on. Mike Epps hit me and said, your job in town. Can I pull up? I did this guy sell out stadiums.
Jadakiss
I did. I did.
Fat Joe
But he know who the hottest niggas is.
Jadakiss
Yeah, I always.
Fat Joe
We got the smoking gun.
Jadakiss
I always fuck with Jada. And I've been fucking with the.
Fat Joe
The is in our hands, the Residents. When you shoot, you know when you shoot and you got the firepower that off.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
One sip, y'.
Jadakiss
All.
Fat Joe
If he finished that whole thing, y.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Ass is in trouble.
Jadakiss
Now.
Fat Joe
Like, can I talk my though?
Jadakiss
Talk your pop, your pop your.
Fat Joe
I say, I seen them, and they was Milli Vanillian. I seen them on. They was Milli Vanilli. You don't know what really is youth. They was faking the fuck. And these guys was out here talking big shit, and they was criticizing motherfuckers and they never did shit in hip hop in their life. And I know.
Jadakiss
Never sold a record, huh?
Fat Joe
Never sold the record. I know the day they saw hey Joe and Jada, they knew they shit was over.
Jadakiss
Oh yeah, they.
Fat Joe
I don't give a fuck who you is, how big you is. Whatever the case may is, them niggas knew it's over. Why? We got top five, dead or alive. We got Fat Joe. He don't give a Fat Joe don't give a fuck.
Jadakiss
Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it.
Fat Joe
Even in cold butter.
Jadakiss
Yep. Chocolate ice cream. Sure thing. Barbecue sauce. Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be Tide.
Odoo Announcer
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Ed Helms
Hey everyone. Ed Helms here.
Kal Penn
And hi, I'm Kal Penn and we're the hosts of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.
Ed Helms
This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?
Jadakiss
You know what?
Fat Joe
I can see you as Mr. Darcy. You got a little Colin Firth.
Ed Helms
Okay, that's really sweet, I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett here. Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Richard Sherman
Ready or not is on sale now for the holidays, a breakout hit with over 13 million global players. Ready or not is the tactical first person shooter where you take the role of a SWAT commander and feel the weight of the badge. I reunited with my Legion of Boom teammates Cam Chancellor, Cliff Averill, Mike Bennett and Walter Thurman to go through real SWAT training and experience firsthand what makes this game special. You can watch the full video now at the Richard Sherman Podcast YouTube channel. Here's what we discovered. This isn't just mindless run and gun like other shooters. Just like the Legion of Boom operated as an elite defensive unit where everyone had to think strategically and work together, Ready or Not demands the same mentality. You're commanding a SWAT team, clearing rooms, protecting civilians, making split second tactical calls. With 18 high stakes missions, endless loadout customization, you need discipline and coordination to succeed. On sale now across PlayStation, Xbox and PC with full crossplay support. Go solo or lead up to five teammates through operations where strategy matters. Don't miss the holiday sale on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S and PC. After training with my brothers, I can tell you this game gets it right.
Kal Penn
PCs powered by Snapdragon X Elite processors are made to go the distance with blazing fast performance. Next level efficiency. Snapdragon processors are built to tackle and all from highlight reel editing to intense player research, making it all feel effortless. And with multi day battery life, you got true freedom all right without being tethered to an outlet. So from long video calls to all day fantasy drafts, your laptop stays ready so you can be at the top of your game. It's the kind of performance your lifestyle demands. So make sure your next PC is powered by Snapdragon. Learn more at snapdragon.com laptops Snapdragon the heart of your PC. Battery life varies significantly based on devices, setup, usage and other factors.
Jadakiss
I'm gonna tell you the most powerful thing y' all got going on. I just told Jada outside is y' all totally different and he's he's got a whole different story come from a similar but not close but a different area than you. You come from a different area and man y' all just different. If y' all if they would've had another guy that was similar to you or another guy that shit wouldn't have worked. And that's really what is paired up in the podcast thing. It's like you can't really put the same people around each other.
Fat Joe
Listen, I thank God for Jada.
Jadakiss
You gotta have peanut butter and jelly, bro.
Fat Joe
He brings me back to life. Peanut butter and jelly, got it.
Jadakiss
You know what I mean?
Fat Joe
If I had. Imagine my co host was, yay, yo, we have rap beef with the. With guys who ain't even hit. When we go to heaven, we already know we got beef.
Jadakiss
Or just like Montana or something.
Fat Joe
He slowed me up and be like, yo, krills, chill, Crack, chill. Imagine I had a Tony Ye or live wide a week. I beef. We can't even come outside.
Jadakiss
Yeah, yeah.
Fat Joe
Some of these guys can't come outside.
Jadakiss
Right, right.
Fat Joe
That's another thing.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
True.
Fat Joe
Some of these guys your kids. Come on, kids. You know it's true. Well, what if you did a lot of these guys, did an interview?
Jadakiss
What if it was you and Granddaddy iu? Rest in peace.
Fat Joe
It's something new from the Granddaddy iu.
Jadakiss
You know that about real hip hop right there.
Fat Joe
Thank God I knew the words. Kiss. Yo, Kiss. At least I do the words right.
Jadakiss
Hey, can I ask you some hip hop, real hip hop questions? We here.
Fat Joe
That's what we hear.
Jadakiss
K Solo was the first red man.
Fat Joe
I don't know if he's the first red man, but K Solo was really, really, really dope. Spellbound.
Jadakiss
I don't know what it was.
Fat Joe
Tell your mom. She and my business. Your mom. I thought they was brothers, too.
Jadakiss
Me too. I thought they was spellbound.
Fat Joe
Spellbound.
Jadakiss
Spellbound.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Spellbound is dmx.
Jadakiss
Dmx?
Fat Joe
They're at Beast in jail.
Jadakiss
Did they?
Fat Joe
That's why I would get at me, dog. He say, tell that nigga K Solo, that's all over.
Jadakiss
Damn, that's some shit right there.
Fat Joe
Spellbound. When they was in. They was in the mining block in.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Long island somewhere and locked up together.
Fat Joe
And they. They said, DMX did it.
Jadakiss
Hey, Solo got on it.
Fat Joe
Stole Spellbound.
Jadakiss
You know who I thought was related to dmx? Because I was around him one time, and nigga's energy was just like him. Father mc. You remember Father mc?
Fat Joe
You think Father MC was like.
Jadakiss
No, I'm saying that I seen him and he was wild. He was. He was just wild. I didn't think he was like him, but I.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
You know.
Fat Joe
No, Father MC was the man. But I just seen him too, recently.
Jadakiss
Yeah, he was wild as hell. Father MC was.
Fat Joe
Listen, I got one DMX story. DMX and Big Pun had a show in like, a baby arena in Brooklyn. We went to the gas station and DMX said, yo, hold up one second. And stuck the guy up for his chain and came back with the guy chain on. And I'm like, yo, there's just no way. This nigga just had the whole world gonna get at me, dog. And he stick this nigga up for his chain in the gas station. I didn't understand how that happens. Like, I'm like, yo, dmx was. Yo, dmx. You know DMX more than anybody.
Jadakiss
I see him, dmx. And he was. He seen at the gas station. He was. Oh, he was talking and, man, and he seen my eye. That turned into a whole nother person. Yes, ma'. Am. And yes, ma'.
Odoo Announcer
Am.
Jadakiss
Thank you. Oh, God bless you. I thank you. I love you. I said, damn, what kind of is it? Turned into a sweet. This turned, I'm telling you, turned into a church dude right in front of you, know what I'm saying? Like, he had another sack.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Stick up.
Fat Joe
Kid to the past.
Jadakiss
He came to my show when he was in the back and Dougie Fresh was on the stage and he said DMX was going up. He has some Popeyes. He has some girls with him. He was eating the Popeye. He was on one that night.
Fat Joe
DMX was sexy.
Jadakiss
He was like, fuck that shit. He said. I said, I'm gonna bring you up. He said, well, come on, bring me up and tell this nigga to get on stage with all this hippity gibbity shit. Talking about Dougie Press was up there.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
That sound like extra.
Fat Joe
Yeah, man, let me tell you something.
Jadakiss
That pulled me over that time. Then he pulled me over, tried to buy my car. And that had a light skinned, was about six. Six. That was dusty. He was. He wouldn't even smile. I said, what's up, man? He wouldn't even say, Big light skin, had a big square box head that was dusty. I said, damn, where'd you get this nigga at? Right here, man. You ordered this nigga.
Fat Joe
You wanna know what's crazy? What's wrong with just being security or holding somebody? Like, I. Like when I come and I see Jadakiss Crew, I'm like, yo, what's up? What's good, y'?
Jadakiss
All?
Fat Joe
This, this, that. And you see, let's say welcome home, Max B. Max B just came home. And I see videos of other rappers going to say what's up to him. And his security is like, looking at them niggas like, what are you supposed to do? Like, are you gonna beat up the rapper that's coming to say hi to him? Wel, they looking like. Like Is that your job? Is that the qualification? My like what is the qualification of it? Like if you know they coming to say hi to the brother? He just came home. Why you looking at dudes like, like what are you getting at it?
Jadakiss
As soon as you hear that pop, pop, pop, all them niggas is gone.
Fat Joe
Yeah, that's a little bit different. Get on ground.
Jadakiss
Watch out, watch out.
Fat Joe
Move. Get on, get. Watch out. Get on ground. You know that pop up. How about you hear the pap I seen shoot at a one time? One shotgun, two nines, four fives. They was like having an okay corral papa. Boom.
Jadakiss
Pop up.
Fat Joe
Boom. They, they nuts was hanging in the middle of the block, turned to run away. Pat with the.22. Pat, that's just that bing, bing, bing. Dove underneath cars. It was no more. Yeah, it's a different thing when you shooting at somebody who ain't got the hammer. The nigga turned around with the smallest caliber gun and said pat, nigga was like ah, diving underneath the cars and shit. They don't want that shit back in the day.
Jadakiss
Them.
Fat Joe
22S.
Jadakiss
Oh yeah. It's a different story when somebody's shooting back at you.
Fat Joe
They don't want that.
Jadakiss
Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. Everybody think when you're shooting back at.
Fat Joe
You just like the catch up up the ketchup. Why he point that? Where the ketchup at?
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Oh, no, no.
Jadakiss
Let me tell you a cold story. I had a buddy that got shot in the stomach.
Fat Joe
He had the.
Jadakiss
The pack, no flags for that.
Fat Joe
Take them flags back.
Jadakiss
He had a pack. Somebody shot him in the stomach. He had a shit pack. Didn't nobody know it. But he still taught karate. He was a karate teacher. Somebody did a back kick. They kicked the bag, the cash bag.
Fat Joe
Must have bust this up.
Jadakiss
You know what the word was? You know what the word was? You know Master McGee got kicked out of him up here at the karate place.
Fat Joe
Master McGee got the kicked out of.
Jadakiss
You kick the bag. Bag busted it.
Fat Joe
I told a story on here. I got it. Is one of them Fat Joe imaginary stories. Let me tell you one of them Fat Joe imaginary stories. But mayor was there. Well, I tell you I beat up the karate. They think cause they know karate.
Jadakiss
You beat a karate, karate.
Fat Joe
Used to come to school with the trophy every day.
Jadakiss
The moccasins, them little black with the red.
Fat Joe
One day he said some wild to me. I said yo, my man, who the you talking to karate. He was like, yo B, you don't. I beat him up. The karate. That don't work in the streets. Yeah, the karate do not work in the streets.
Jadakiss
Grab your foot.
Fat Joe
I've never seen a guy bust out karate, to be honest with you. I know that's for, like discipline or whatever, but I've never seen nobody bust out the. Have you ever seen somebody run out there, yo, what's up? What's good? What's good? And he starts.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
Get this kicked out of.
Jadakiss
Can I tell you who will you up with a suit on?
Fat Joe
The.
Jadakiss
Out the. The. The Nation of Islam will you up with a suit on.
Fat Joe
You'll be like, God damn, I'm talking.
Jadakiss
About die everything vest and then help you up, brother. You need to get your life together, brother. Yeah, get your life together, brother.
Fat Joe
Brother, we could teach you some lessons.
Jadakiss
Yeah, brother, get on up. Don't ever make me do that to you again, brother. In the name of Allah, brother, stand on up. Get on up out here. That's right, that's right.
Fat Joe
That's right. I'm with that.
Jadakiss
Did you ever do an event?
Fat Joe
No, I don't want to do an event. I know the Nation of Islam. You talking to the wrong guy. I know the Nation of Islam. Shout out my brother Arthur 4x now. He the biggest one in the game. I know all of.
Jadakiss
Yeah, yeah, Mustafa and yeah brother Nuri and all that. See, now I'm going tell you something about the Nation of Islam. If you ever do anything around black people always call them because what they do is they have the ability to neutralize colored people. I'm serious.
Fat Joe
Yeah, they do.
Jadakiss
I don't know what it is about them. I don't give a damn. And I live in la. That Crips and Blood shit. If you bring them around each other, they gonna fight and kill each other. But when the Nation of Islam is there, I don't know what it is. It's almost like caretakers for the. The niggas in the streets. I'm serious. Like babysitters. They like babysitters for ignorant motherfuckers.
Fat Joe
Because you know what?
Jadakiss
When you got somebody, an ignorant motherfucker, just calm down. When they see that tie.
Fat Joe
When you got somebody who give me one of them, let me see y' all fake people and transform them and give them jobs and fucking do positive for they people. And they was just like you. You respect them off. Rip. The respect level is all about. Everything in life is respect.
Jadakiss
Have you ever stole something from the bill?
Fat Joe
You got respect. Well, I ain't steal nothing from the Nation of Islam. Not a bean pie, nothing.
Jadakiss
Bro Modells. Have you Ever stole something from models?
Fat Joe
I stole stuff from a lot of places. I'mma be honest with you.
Jadakiss
Hey, man, you was hungry. Man, my ass.
Fat Joe
What?
Jadakiss
You was hungry.
Fat Joe
Hungry like a. We used to play spades in the.
Jadakiss
Where did y' all go swimming at Katona Pool.
Fat Joe
Katona Pool. We didn't have no pool.
Jadakiss
And you was hungry as hell when.
Fat Joe
You was done eating Katona Pool, Right. Let me tell you something.
Jadakiss
After you swim, go swimming. You be hungry as a motherfucker.
Fat Joe
Let's play spades. Whoever lose spades gotta go to the bodega and steal. You be like, yo, I want some sweet salt and vinegar chips. I want some Chef Boyardee. Then they tell you to steal the ice cream. You gotta steal the ice cream in front of pieces.
Jadakiss
Copy.
Fat Joe
You will get your ass whooped. Right? So. But we had to. That was the. If you lost the spades game, you got to go in there and steal whatever's on the list and come back with it. When they do catch you, you getting your ass whooped like, whoop. Like. I've been in places where they'll beat the brakes off you for. For stealing some, and then it won't caught. They won't put you in jail.
Jadakiss
Yeah.
Fat Joe
They'll just whip your ass.
Jadakiss
Yes. Did you ever see Jeff Red when you was a kid? You ever heard of Jeff Red?
Fat Joe
Oh, yeah, I see Jeff Red all the time.
Jadakiss
That's a player ain't a man. Old school. Jeff Red used to sing. That was from Mount Vernon.
Fat Joe
What was the song he sung?
Jadakiss
I call. You call Deep. That was Andre Harrell's. One of his first ads. Yeah, his first artists. What about T. Larocque? Did you ever meet him?
Fat Joe
I know T. Larock. Let me tell you about. Let me tell you about T. Leck. Commentating, illustrating, description, giving. Let me tell you something. He still comes to my store shops.
Jadakiss
Wow.
Fat Joe
Like he ain't a bum.
Jadakiss
They drop money at the store. So many people use this song.
Fat Joe
T. Larocque was ahead of time. He come to my store. You know who else rl from next. Whenever he in town, he come drop 4 or 5000 in the store he's doing. I could tell you, where's the store in Miami now. We got three stores up here. The Bronx, Harlem and Washington Heights. They just sold me a ten and a half and an eight and a half. I went in, I said they had to meet.
Jadakiss
I won't be going to your store, sir.
Fat Joe
Yo, Mike, I appreciate that.
Jadakiss
I was just thinking about going.
Fat Joe
Yo, Mike.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
And I Go there.
Fat Joe
They had to meet the quota. I said, yo, I need 10 pairs of Tim sold today. They sold kiss the size 12. That's the oldest. You know what? I blame you. You. I blame you. You shouldn't have got. Got like that. When he told me that, I knew it wasn't a mistake. He told me that. Like this.
Jadakiss
Flip the box up.
Fat Joe
That's just said, man. When he told me that, I said, but they did it. The kids. I call the FaceTime. They over there laughing. This. I said, yo, this Kiss is my partner, man. How y' all gonna do it? Kiss. They act like I have the wrong. This one big leg, you know what I'm saying? You had the.
Jadakiss
Hey, man, was there any girl that you wanted and you couldn't get when you wasn't famous? And when you got famous, you kind of went looking. And when you seen her, you was. You couldn't believe you wanted her.
Fat Joe
You know, I don't want to lie to you guys. I never had a confidence problem. So even since I was a young nigga, I always had thought.
Jadakiss
Shit is the shit.
Fat Joe
I thought I was the shit. And I would go into the spot and I would rap to the baddest shit. Even when you're in Fat. Fat. Fat Joe.
Jadakiss
Fat.
Fat Joe
Fat Joe was walking around thinking he was Prince Charming, my nigga. Like, are you kidding me? I never had a confidence problem. I own the name Fat Joe since I'm fucking three years old. Hey, Fat Joey. I never thought I was like, I'm walking out there with the best in them. I got green eyes, I'm fly, smell good, army jackets.
Jadakiss
I ain't give a. I'm proud of you. I'm happy for you. For real.
Fat Joe
Tim's, you in trouble. I'll tell you one thing. They used to want to whip my ass out there.
Jadakiss
Why?
Fat Joe
Because I always had the baddest chicks. So what I'm telling you is. And I was the most ignorant ghetto you ever seen in the history of mankind. Like, I'd be like, I had this one girl, and the whole neighborhood want to kill me over. And I'd be like.
Jadakiss
Like, yo, was you mad you was fat?
Fat Joe
Such and such come down, niggas is tight. Like, they mad you even talking to now n just looking at me like, yo, it's a movie. I'm out here.
Jadakiss
Did that make you mad? Was you mad cause you was fat?
Fat Joe
I used to drive around the Bronx and Harlem with no shirt on and 10 chains in the jeep with the top off. I never gave a fuck about the girl from swv, Coco. Coco from suv. She from my projects. Yeah, she tell me all the time, yo, I know Fat Fat Joey. No shirt on in the summer. Don't give a fuck. I never gave a fuck. I never looked at it as a disability.
Jadakiss
No drawers on, nothing. Just.
Fat Joe
I ain't saying that. No draws on just shorts.
Jadakiss
Crack his ass, gold chain.
Fat Joe
I'm not saying that.
Jadakiss
You know you ain't had no draws on, man, under the basketball shorts, man. You know you had no draws on up under them basketball shorts, man. You know you had them knick shorts on with no draws on up on them. Sweaty. Stuck on the motherfucking Bronx on the FDR, sweating. Went 10, 10 on chest, hot.
Jadakiss (alternate or co-host)
This ain't that, man.
Fat Joe
This the biggest in the fucking game. You hear me? This ain't that. Y'.
Jadakiss
All.
Fat Joe
Listen, listen. Yo, Mike. Yo, Mike. I don't give a fuck. Mike. Like, Listen, Fat Joe. Fat Joe. I never been scared. I never been unconfident.
Jadakiss
You're right. Cause you have a beautiful wife.
Fat Joe
Oh, my God. Listen.
Jadakiss
You have a beautiful wife. And I'm not gonna lie. When I first seen y' all together, I was like, how the fuck did he get her? Hey, I got a broke, too. I was broke.
Fat Joe
Like this big. I don't give a fuck, man. I never gave a fuck.
Jadakiss
You know what? She must have seen that you was gonna lose the weight one day. She said, I'm gonna get a good Joe out of this.
Fat Joe
She would have to be a scientist to predict. She would have to be a fucking fortune teller to predict. Yo, one day there'll be a drug called Ozempic. He'll lose weight. This shit, this Ozempic shit outta control, huh?
Jadakiss
And these niggas made everybody mad at Puffy. I was like, the locks made everybody like, why don't he leave them niggas alone?
Fat Joe
Let him go.
Jadakiss
God damn.
Fat Joe
Let them go.
Jadakiss
They were smothering you, man. And then by the time you got on that verses, it was like vindication. It was like, damn.
Fat Joe
What about when they start hitting animals with those zempic? What, to go get skinnier animals is to hit them with? Listen, let me tell you something. They need Ozempic. They need to change that shit for liquor, too.
Jadakiss
And whatever I knew got shot and survived for being fat.
Fat Joe
Yeah, me, too.
Jadakiss
My buddy got hit 12 times.
Fat Joe
Doctor told niggas the same shit. Yo, if you ain't have this fat, you would have survived right now.
Jadakiss
You would die.
Fat Joe
But let me tell you something. They died fat niggas instead that Ozempic is a transforming drug. That shit saving lives. Like you know they trying to get that give that shit up for cheap, you know that keep trying to like. Cause you know that saved so many lives.
Jadakiss
All of this stuff is linked together. Like when you think about, I mean like people are really, really upset with Trump, but if you really, really think about it, if you think about the whole grand scheme of things, what he's taken away from people is really a trickle effect of unhealthy shit. The food stamps, I know nobody is. I never seen nobody spend no food stamps on whole foods. I heard they accept them, but I ain't never seen nobody pull nothing out at the fucking cash.
Fat Joe
It ain't enough for that. Well, you got to eat because the.
Jadakiss
Place is a healthy place to eat. I think people buy Cheetos and bullshit with and I'm just saying this for black people. I know motherfuckers get mad Spanish, but black people, they say there's more white people on food stamps than black people. It may be, but black people let the fucking shit go. I'm tired of seeing three generations of mothers on fucking food stamps. It's over with. Let em take that you taking away from food stamps. Let that be. Guess what this is the start of. I don't need that shit no more.
Fat Joe
I'mma tell you something because I was.
Jadakiss
There when food stamps came out.
Fat Joe
The projects and food stamps, they came out in our era, they should have been temporary. And so what happens when you stuck in the process, everybody think they paying cheap.
Jadakiss
Yes.
Fat Joe
But it stops you from getting a good job of competing or becoming a real boss. So all this is gimmick is systemic to hold you back from competing.
Jadakiss
Yes.
Fat Joe
You know what I'm saying?
Jadakiss
Yes.
Fat Joe
But I'm not, I'm not.
Jadakiss
There are some people that really need it.
Fat Joe
There's some people that need it.
Jadakiss
There's some people that really need it.
Fat Joe
I'm saying the people who work, people who don't need it now, they owe some food stamps or whatever the case may be. I get on single parent moms, the pops don't give a fuck. They need that food. And you know that at the time we needed them. Food really came in handy for me, man.
Jadakiss
So it's time to buy some now. I know I got a plug to buy or I'll take you up to the safe house.
Fat Joe
They start selling Lucy's.
Jadakiss
I sit out there in the parking lot, you bring the groceries out the Lucy's.
Fat Joe
But you know what? It's time for everybody to get healthy. It's time for everybody to be independent. It's time for everybody to work for their future. If you're dependent on these things for too long, you're out the game. And think about the potential. I grew up in the projects. Jay Z grew up in the projects.
Jadakiss
We grew up eating the worst shit.
Fat Joe
But imagine if Jay Z would have said, yo, I want food stamps. I don't want to compete. I don't want to show how smart I am. I don't want to show him I'm a genius. I'm just, I'm cool with the hundred dollars rent, getting all this shit when hove on stamps. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that.
Jadakiss
That's what you say. That's, that's what I'm saying is the environment we imagine. You said imagine ho Jay Z on stamps.
Fat Joe
I have family members.
Jadakiss
And with the still the same laugh. I have family members. I have family members spending the stamps with that same lamp.
Fat Joe
Family members who told me they don't want to be this your boy with the stamps.
Jadakiss
I can't imagine.
Fat Joe
I got family members who told me, yo, all we want is the stamps. We don't care our rent is paid. This, this, that we don't y. But don't you want to go to college? Don't you want to get ahead? Don't you want to. Now I'm comfortable here. I've literally, I swear to God, I have family members who don't want to be nothing more. But then on section eight.
Jadakiss
You know why, Joe? Because the responsibility is too great. The most, the, the scariest thing in the world is responsibility. And, and, and people don't understand that, that you can manage it, but you gotta manage your personal life too. People don't know all of us connected. You drinking water, you're being healthy. All of this is connected to you being responsible. That's right. And that responsible connected to you being a businessman. That responsible, connected to you being one. You missing one link out of that motherfucker. Ain't none ever gonna work. Work. You got to cover every base of that.
Fat Joe
And that's what.
Jadakiss
And they don't teach the kids that tell them go do one of them.
Fat Joe
And don't teach guys in jail. There's a lot of wash your ass out too long. I got to catch a case and go back in there cuz they don't want to pay child support. Wash your butt. This ain't that, that ain't this. It's cracking kissing noise for my catch.
Jadakiss
That was hot right there. Man.
Fat Joe
What a matchup we got, y'.
Jadakiss
All. This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance echo drum beat everybody showing that school pride Game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime.
Fat Joe
And just like that, we're back at it.
Jadakiss
Passionate fans, school colors everywhere and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo no matter the.
Fat Joe
Sport, no matter the yard.
Jadakiss
Everybody knows fan work is thirsty for work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.
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Kal Penn
Everybody has goals, and every goal starts with an assist, whether it's on the field or off. That's why Halion is teaming up with US Soccer to launch for the Assist. It's a new campaign that celebrates those everyday acts of support that help people achieve their goals. As the makers of trusted brands like Advil, Centrum, Tum, Sensodyne and Voltaren knows how to support everyday wellness goals. To learn more, go to halionassist.com 10.
Fat Joe
Athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract worth $250,000.
Jadakiss
This is when mindset comes in.
Fat Joe
Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down.
Kal Penn
Trainer Games on Prime Video January 8th Watch the trailer on trainer games.com did you know?
Ed Helms
Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop, voted PC Mag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anyway, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
The Herd with Colin Cowherd
Release Date: December 30, 2025
Guests: Mike Epps (comedian/actor), Fat Joe (host), Jadakiss (co-host)
This star-studded episode of The Joe and Jada Show (within The Herd) is a celebration of hip-hop culture, comedy, resilience, and the journey from humble beginnings to iconic status. Comedians and entertainers Mike Epps, Fat Joe, and Jadakiss share wildly entertaining personal stories, dissect the realities of street life, reflect on success and hardship, and debate the pillars of stand-up comedy and hip-hop. Expect raw, unfiltered storytelling, plenty of laughs, and a candid conversation about where they came from, what shaped them, and their place in the game now.
[03:31 - 14:39]
[19:21 - 29:23]
[13:25 - 18:20], [40:27 - 44:12], [51:31 - 54:48]
[52:36 - 53:21]
[75:24 - 77:50]
[45:13 - 47:01], [62:35 - 63:49]
[39:27 - 41:18], [47:04 - 48:06]
[74:53 - 81:14]
On Growing Up:
“I had a green sweatsuit, red one, and a blue one. By the middle of the year, I had a green shirt, green pants. I mean, blue pants and red every day...”
– Fat Joe ([14:24])
On Comedy’s Dark Side:
“It don’t brighten up until it starts paying you. And you can get therapy with it. You can buy you a piece a little bit.”
– Mike Epps ([29:09])
On Authenticity:
“All we want is peace and harmony.”
– Jadakiss ([46:54])
On Comedy’s Mount Rushmore:
“Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, or Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac and Robin Harris, can’t nobody beat that five.”
– Jadakiss ([52:40])
On Making it and Gratitude:
“I can’t believe that I own a house. I can’t believe I got a car…It’s the simple things, the littlest things.”
– Fat Joe ([62:58])
On Parental Influence:
“He didn’t know he was hurting you. He thought you looked good in that [plastic jacket].”
– Jadakiss ([14:08])
| Time | Segment/Topic | |----------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 03:31 | Mike Epps introduced, kick-off of stories | | 06:12 | Sun felt hotter as a kid, neighborhood nostalgia | | 13:25 | Trying to be fly, parental thriftiness, discipline | | 19:21 | Bronx club/comedy scene, coming up “a ghost” | | 28:18 | The darkness of comedy, cutthroat nature | | 40:27 | Going “last” on comedy tour, stealing jokes | | 45:13 | On not knowing your father, resilience | | 52:36 | Comedy Mount Rushmore, Dave Chappelle debate | | 75:24 | The wildest DMX gas station stick-up story | | 76:49 | Jadakiss on DMX: instant “church dude” with elders | | 62:58 | Fat Joe grateful for his home, post-struggle | | 63:28 | Kids not understanding the old struggle |
This episode is a masterclass in resilience, authenticity, and culture. If you cherish behind-the-scenes tales from comedy, raw hip-hop history, and real talk about making it out of nothing, you’ll find this episode both inspiring and hilarious. Mike Epps, Fat Joe, and Jadakiss’s chemistry pops—from Marcy Projects stories to debates on stand-up royalty, to the meaning of success and giving back. Charismatic, unfiltered, and packed with memorable, quotable moments, it’s podcasting at its most real.