Unbreakable Episode 109 - Holiday Special

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Herd with Colin Cowherd
Episode: Unbreakable Episode 109 - Holiday Special
Release Date: November 27, 2024

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Introduction

In the "Unbreakable Episode 109 - Holiday Special," host Jay Glazer delves deep into the emotional challenges that the holiday season can bring. Acknowledging that holidays are a difficult time for many, Jay aims to provide actionable strategies to help listeners navigate feelings of loneliness, family stress, and personal triggers during this period.

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1. Understanding the Holiday Struggles

Jay begins by sharing his personal experiences with the holidays, highlighting how they can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and anxiety.

• Loneliness and Family Dynamics:
  "[02:45]* Jay Glazer: "Holidays are difficult for a lot of us... dealing with family is hard. A lot of times loneliness is hard. It hits us hard."

Jay emphasizes that even those who typically keep busy or are engaged in work can still feel isolated during the festive season.

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2. Strategies to Cope with Holiday Challenges

Jay outlines three primary strategies to mitigate the emotional toll of the holidays: Being of Service, Leaning into Your Teammates, and Maintaining Your Rituals. Additionally, he discusses the importance of self-compassion and nurturing one's inner child.

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a. Be of Service

Engaging in acts of service can significantly alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide a sense of purpose.

• Feeding the Homeless:
  "[04:10]* Jay Glazer: "I decide I'm gonna go be of service, and I would go feed the homeless during Thanksgiving."

• Reducing Self-Criticism:
  "[05:20]* Jay Glazer: "When you are of service, it's really hard to tell you bad things about yourself."

By helping others, individuals can shift their focus away from their own struggles and foster a sense of community and fulfillment.

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b. Lean into Your Teammates

Maintaining strong connections with friends and loved ones serves as a support system during challenging times.

• Seeking Support:
  "[07:15]* Jay Glazer: "Call your boys, call your homegirls, call your sisters, your brothers... Are you gonna be available? Can I talk to you?"

• Mutual Support:
  "[08:30]* Jay Glazer: "If you're having difficulties, just call some of your teammates, check up on them. It's another way for you to be of service, but it's keeping you connected."

Jay underscores the importance of proactive communication, ensuring that both parties offer and receive support.

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c. Stay in Your Rituals

Maintaining daily routines and personal rituals provides stability and a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos of the holidays.

• Personal Rituals:
  "[10:05]* Jay Glazer: "I now have all these rituals. Breath work, meditation, gratitude list, working out... I do this whole thing religiously."

• Preventing Disruption:
  "[10:50]* Jay Glazer: "When you go somewhere and you know it's going to trigger you, you want your rituals and your schedule to be as structured as possible."

By sticking to established routines, individuals can better manage stress and avoid being overwhelmed by external pressures.

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d. Self-Compassion and Embracing the Inner Child

Jay discusses the significance of self-forgiveness and nurturing one's inner child to combat negative emotions.

• Forgiving Yourself:
  "[12:00]* Jay Glazer: "If you are triggered, first and foremost, immediately forgive yourself immediately."

• Loving the Inner Child:
  "[13:20]* Jay Glazer: "Show that little kid compassion. Literally. Go to the next room, forgive yourself... Love that little kid up."

Jay shares insights from his interactions with mental performance coaches and monks, emphasizing that comforting one's inner child can lead to profound emotional healing.

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3. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Jay wraps up the episode by reinforcing that listeners are not alone in their struggles during the holidays. He encourages embracing the strategies discussed and maintaining connections with loved ones.

• Collective Experience:
  "[14:10]* Jay Glazer: "There are so many other people who are going through it right now. So realize that you're probably in the majority. So we're not alone."

• Encouragement and Gratitude:
  "[14:25]* Jay Glazer: "Happy holidays and I am grateful and thankful for all of you. You guys have given me my purpose."

Jay leaves listeners with a message of hope, urging them to practice self-compassion, stay connected, and find joy in serving others.

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Key Takeaways

1. Engage in Acts of Service: Helping others can provide purpose and reduce feelings of loneliness.
2. Maintain Strong Connections: Lean on friends and family for support and offer support in return.
3. Stick to Personal Rituals: Keeping up with daily routines can offer stability during stressful times.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Forgive yourself and nurture your inner child to foster emotional well-being.
5. You're Not Alone: Recognizing that many share similar struggles can alleviate feelings of isolation.

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Notable Quotes

• "[02:45]* Jay Glazer: "Holidays are difficult for a lot of us... dealing with family is hard. A lot of times loneliness is hard. It hits us hard."*

• "[05:20]* Jay Glazer: "When you are of service, it's really hard to tell you bad things about yourself."*

• "[07:15]* Jay Glazer: "Call your boys, call your homegirls, call your sisters, your brothers... Are you gonna be available? Can I talk to you?"*

• "[12:00]* Jay Glazer: "If you are triggered, first and foremost, immediately forgive yourself immediately."*

• "[14:10]* Jay Glazer: "There are so many other people who are going through it right now. So realize that you're probably in the majority. So we're not alone."*

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Final Thoughts

Jay Glazer's holiday special on "Unbreakable" offers a heartfelt and practical guide for listeners grappling with the emotional complexities of the festive season. Through personal anecdotes and actionable advice, Jay provides a roadmap to navigate the holidays with resilience, compassion, and connection.

Transcript

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Now here's Jay Glaser. Welcome Into Unbreakable and mental wealth Podcast with Jay Glaser. I'm Jay Glaser. It's a special holiday edition. So the guests today are you and me. What I want to do here is I know the holidays are hard for a lot of us, and I always wanted looking back now, I wish the guy I'm now could help. The guy was back then. To get through some of these holidays. Holidays are difficult for a lot of us. A lot of times dealing with family is hard. A lot of times loneliness is hard. It hits us hard. So what I want to try and do today is see where I can help, see if I can coach, see if I can maybe inspire people to make these holidays a little bit easier for all of us. And some of the things that have kind of helped me along the way. So first of all, one of the things that we could really do for people who. And I'll get into people who could be triggered in a second. But there's holidays where I didn't go anywhere else or I had to work. And, you know, like, kind of that loneliness on those holidays gets to. Even though I knew I was working, it still kind of got to me. And the loneliness was really hard. So what I try to do in those years is I decide I'm gonna go be of service, and I would go feed the homeless during Thanksgiving. I would go to shelters to help during Thanksgiving. In the past also, I've got a military basis, and that was through fox. But my point is, if you're of service, it really takes away. And this is a big goal of mine in dealing with the gray, dealing with your depression, anxiety. When we're of service, it cuts through that gray and it gets us to see the blue. Well, no better time for you to be of service than the holidays and say it on yourself. You know, I'm gonna actually celebrate, celebrate myself by being of service, helping others. Could be an animal shelter. Whatever it is, figure it out. When I was really broke in New York City, you know, I had a bartend on the holidays at. There was a bar called let's Make a Daiquiri at the South Street Seaport. I would then go get food and I would go out and hand them to the homeless. And I'd be like, I'm gonna have Thanksgiving with them. Odd as that sounds, some of the best Thanksgivings I've had, people really appreciate that. And again, when you are of service, it's really hard to tell you bad things about yourself. So right now, in holiday times, we tend to Beat up on ourselves a lot if we are alone. But when you're service, the roommates in your head don't get that voice. The roommates in your head don't get to set the narrative. So I can't tell you enough how important that is. And by the way, even if you do have somewhere to go, figure out a place, something, some way, you could still be of service because you have that in your back pocket. No matter what. It really helps us during the holidays. Number two, lean into your teammates. You hear me say this all the time. And what I mean by this is, even before you're going to go where you're going to go, call your boys, call your homegirls, call your sisters, your brothers, call your people and say, listen, this may be a hard one for me. Are you gonna be available? Can I talk to you? If they are, if I need to take a step away, can I holler? Because a lot of times, too, somebody will say, absolutely, and they needed it also. So lean into your teammates. Really lean in. Also, like I'm saying, in a time like this, going into it, if you know that you're gonna go, let's see, family, and it's gonna trigger you. Talk to your crew about it. Talk to your crew about it going in, get ideas from them. How could I better handle this? How could I better not get beat up? How can I prevent myself from. From going down these rabbit holes? So have these talks immediately. Immediately call your crew, lean into your teammates. Look at when I'm really struggling, I call two people. Used to be four, but two people to tell them I'm struggling. And then two people did not tell I'm struggling just to check up on them because that's being of service. So it's another thing, right? If you're having difficulties, the holidays, just call some of your teammates, check up on them, see how they're doing. It's another way for you to be of service, but it's keeping you connected to your teammates, and that's protecting your own sanctity. It's building your own fortress about what can keep you happy and keep you safe. The whole point is we got to keep ourselves safe here. Number three, stay in your rituals. I now have all these rituals. Breath work, meditation, gratitude list working out. I do a cold plunge that Michael Phelps my brother sent me called chili goat, little plug there for him. We do. I say these prayers with. With Rosie and myself, but I have these rituals that I now do religiously. I do this whole thing for my hips to Open my hips up every day, kind of help me. I do this stretching routine I do, again, breath work. I do that a couple times a day. Stay in your routine. So when you go somewhere and you know it's going to trigger you again, you want to. You want your rituals and your. Your schedule to be as structured as possible. So don't let yourself get thrown off course, thrown off base by being somewhere else. It's such a. An important thing because we tend to go somewhere else. And you put it on hold. It's your support system. Don't get rid of your support system. When you need your support the most. Make sure no matter what you prioritize what your rituals have become. Okay? Another thing here, a lot of times when we get triggered, okay, we feel like that helpless little kid again. That's hard. Okay? And if you're like that helpless or beaten down little kid. So a couple things. Number one, if you are triggered, first and foremost, immediately forgive yourself immediately. Just go to that next room, Go in that next room, forgive yourself. But the other thing I want you to do is go in the next room and love that little kid up, okay? So I learned this from these monks in Thailand. And these monks said to me, hey, we want you to. Want you to come do the monk thing. We want you to not talk to anybody. And we want you to. For three days. I'm like, not talking to anybody for three days. Hey, monks, I got adhd. What are we talking about here? And they said, want you to do. What'd you call yourself growing up? Was it Jay? I said, that was Jason. Okay, we want you to not talk to anybody and we want you to just meditate and picture little Jason and hold his hand, put your arm around him, tell him you got him, it's gonna be okay, and show him some compassion because he probably doesn't feel like he's had enough or had any love that little kid up. It changed my life. A lot of the issues I've had has been that triggered little kid, that beaten down little kid. Not. I wouldn't physically beat down my parents or anything, but, man, I was a run to the litter. I was tiny growing up. It was rough in the Jersey Shore when you're so tiny, man. I wrestled 101 pounds in high school. I got one on one pounder. He got true. Man, it was rough. I built myself up in a J. Glazer, who I am now because how rough that was. But love that little kid up. And like I said, to this day, when I have these little Outbursts. I realize it's him. The little kid who's screaming out for help, feels like he did something wrong, feels like he deserves to be punished. So show that little kid compassion. Literally. Go to the next room, forgive yourself if you get triggered. And love that little cute up. And recently, I haven't had an issue. I had an issue in sparring while I was having like these little. I wasn't myself. And I went to Greg Harden, may rest Apple in peace, who was the mental performance coach for Tom Brady and Michael Phelps and Charles Woodson. These guys. He's like, Jay, that for some reason that scared little kids coming out of us like Greg. I've been sparring, fighting for years, man. I started wrestling in 1982 and boxing in 88 and MMA in 2000. And what do you mean he said there's something going on with that little kid? Well, he's horrified right now, and you gotta let him know he's safe and comfort him. And started talking to my therapist about it, and I got to the bottom of it, and now I got his back. I make sure I get that little kid's back. So. And those kinds may sound a little foreign to people. That was a lot for me. Like that scared little kid, he became the dominant voice instead of Jay Glazer Warrior Jay Glazer being that dominant voice. And I couldn't shut him up because you don't want to shut that kid up. You gotta comfort them. So now we're at the holidays. We get triggered. A lot of times it's that same kid, right? And you have. May have a hard time with parents or brothers and sisters or, you know, just your hometown, wherever it is, but you become that scared little kid again. So make sure that you practice. I got you. I got you. Love that kid up. Love him or her up. Hug them, hold their hands. Another great thing for you gang is I'm doing this podcast because there's an awful lot of you. Well, awful lot of us that felt this way on the holidays. So I want you to think about it way. I'm. I'm in the majority today. I'm not alone. I'm far from alone, man. I'm not alone at all. There are so many other people who are going through it right now. So realize that you're probably in the majority. So we're not alone. If you get triggered, you're gonna get triggered. It's okay. Don't beat up on yourself. We're gonna forgive ourselves, right? Then we're gonna go another room. We're gonna love that little kid up. Comfort that little kid and also know that little kid's most important. Okay? Your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your friends, your hometown people, whatever, they're not most important. That little kid is. I cannot stress this enough. That little kid is. You are most important. Give yourself some grace. Forgive yourself. Realize also, hey, this isn't going to be forever. It's a couple days here. Stay in your rituals. Be of service, whether it's calling others or actually going and doing something. People who are in need on Thanksgiving for the holidays here, lean into your teammates. Make sure you're there for them. They're there for you. Lean into them going into it. Be proactive about it and make sure that you're being good there as well and you're leaning into them also at that point. And make sure that you, no matter what happens on these holidays, you do know that you are loved. You may not feel it where you are, but you are. We all got teammates. God's a teammate of mom. My dog's teammates. Rosie's a teammate. Even though I didn't have her until, you know, four years ago. There were teammates everywhere, right? You just got to see it and make sure, you know, you are not alone. And, you know, finally, like I said, love that little kid up, but also love the adult and you up as well, man, if you get thrown off kilter, forgive yourself, get yourself back on track. It's never too late to start over. Even if you make a big mistake and you have an outburst or something along those lines, or you have a meltdown, just restart again. It's okay. Start from square one. We're good with that. Okay? There's no shame in that. The great part is as long as you just keep moving forward. If you fall down, get back up, brush yourself up. Let's all keep walking this walk together. Love you all. Happy holidays and I am grateful and thankful for all of you. You guys have given me my purpose. You guys have all given me my why. Never knew that my pain would lead to helping others through theirs. So I am so incredibly thankful for all of you during these holidays. Love you all.

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