The Hidden Third with Mariana van Zeller:

From Prisoner to Actor (October 15, 2025)

Overview

In this illuminating and raw premiere episode of "The Hidden Third," host Mariana van Zeller sits down with Fabian—former pro skater, actor, and ex-convict—to explore his tumultuous journey from growing up surrounded by gangs in Echo Park, LA, to battling addiction, serving time in prison, and ultimately reinventing himself as an actor and mentor. The conversation dives deep into underground economies, prison culture, family legacies, and cycles of recidivism, offering an unfiltered look at the harsh realities and unexpected hope within marginalized communities.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life in Echo Park: Family, Gangs, and Survival

• Early Exposure to Crime: Fabian grew up immersed in gang culture—his parents, uncles, and even grandparents were involved. "I grew up in a party house with drugs and drinking and oldies and... fighting." (04:00)
• Navigating Gang Life: Fabian shares the difficulty of staying out: "Most families I grew up in school with, their parents weren’t gang members... My family was my mother, father, grandparents, and my aunts and uncles were pretty much active." (06:15)
• Violence as Normalcy: He recounts stunning early memories of shootouts, substance abuse, and being asked to hide drug money as a child.
  • "At seven, I remember getting dragged up a hill in Elysian Park, getting inside the car... they were shooting behind us." (04:33)
  • “I would hold the money that they had, right? My mom and dad would give me a roll of money... If we ask you for more, don’t let us get it. Hide it.” (23:04)

2. Skateboarding as Escape and Identity

• First Encounter with Skating: A stolen bike led Fabian and a friend to discover skateboarding. Lacking money, they stole boards and shoes just to participate.
  • "That's how I started skating. And now here's a big problem—your shoes. Your shoes get messed up in skating." (13:01)
• Struggling & Succeeding: Despite poverty, he persisted, eventually turning pro: "You start off with like 30, 40 kids... ended up being like four of us." (15:40)
• Alienation & Misunderstanding: His family and neighborhood often ridiculed or misunderstood his skating; even after turning pro, his parents didn’t grasp it. “They had no idea... People actually get paid for this? This is... ride a board? This is not real.” (28:54)

3. Addiction, Crime, and Generational Trauma

• Generational Substance Use & Impact: Drugs were ever-present. His parents used (PCP, heroin, crack), and so did his siblings. "We had PCP in the fridge... right next to the peanut butter." (21:58)
• First Drug Experiences: "My dad said ‘you’re a man now,’ 12 years old, you get to smoke [weed in the house]." (42:00)
• Escalation to Crime: As addiction deepened, Fabian began robbing, escalating from petty theft to violent crime. His first robbery was with his father at age 14. "He told me, ‘I'm gonna give you something,’ but he busted a Debo on me... I'll get you on the next one." (50:01)

4. Incarceration: Gangs, Violence, and the Code

• Going to Prison: Fabian details his arrest after nearly killing a man who had assaulted his sister—leading to charges of carjacking, kidnapping, robbery, and more. "They wanted to give me 50 [years] to life... I got seven years." (61:08)
• Life on the Inside:
  • Hierarchies & Violence: He discusses the strict racial alliances and the expectation of violence against sex offenders or “bad news list” inmates. "If you are rapist, child molester, or a snitch, you better let me know now, because you will be found in this prison." (63:40)
  • Weapons and Survival: Graphic descriptions of making and hiding weapons—"prison wallets" (knives hidden rectally)—are given. "When I was there, you had to have a knife. One of you’s got to take turns carrying it up your rectum." (75:35)
  • Enforced Crimes: He had to attack a cellmate who was a child molester: "They told me, ‘he’s got to go, you got two days to do it’... I prayed just to get me through this, please without killing him..." (89:07)
• Mental Toll & Regret: He describes quiet moments of reckoning: "I started thinking about all the people I hurt... I stabbed a guy for $8." (66:26)

5. Intentional Change: Faith, Manifestation, and Redemption

• Spirituality as a Compass: Fabian attributes much of his survival and transformation to faith—prayers in prison, seeking God’s guidance, and manifesting better futures. "I used to pray for this... I prayed every night." (17:21)
• Reflecting on Opportunity: He feels a responsibility to those inside, never giving up on the possibility of change: "Some of these guys have hit me up from Pelican Bay... they’re just proud, man... that’s a big thing.” (98:06)

6. Life After Prison: Acting, Advocacy & Giving Back

• Entry into Acting: Post-release, a chance meeting—helped by his prison notoriety and skate connections—landed him roles in shows like “Southland” and “Mayans.” "A month out of Pelican Bay, I got Mayans." (109:58)
• Support Networks: He credits organizations like ARC (Anti-Recidivism Coalition) for job connections and transitional support. "ARC is basically a way to connect people who have done time... and bring them home and get you in our program." (100:15)
• Philosophy on Success: He’s adamant that freedom and sobriety are the pillars of his achievements. "If I can’t stay free, there’s nothing going on. If I keep my sobriety and stay clean, I know that I could do whatever I want." (117:16)
• Commitment to Service: Fabian spends significant time on community outreach—helping former inmates, working with youth at skate parks, and supporting his family.

Memorable Quotes & Notable Segments

Childhood, Family & Gangs

• "I grew up in a party house with drugs and drinking and oldies and... fighting." — Fabian (04:00)
• "How did I make it out of there and not be a lifer—or not be in MacArthur park, addicted?" (17:21)
• “My first robbery was with my father. My father took me on my first robbery.” (49:17)

Skating & Identity

• "You helped me turn pro by stealing your board. So I gave him a board... it was the only right thing to do." (14:44)
• "Thing about skaters is resilience. It's just never giving up." (15:24)

Prison Culture

• "If you didn’t do the cross [when passing a church], you owed me—church violence." (20:26)
• "When I was there, you had to have a knife. One of you’s got to take turns carrying it up your rectum." (75:35, repeated at 00:00 and 126:00)
• "If you smell caca coming, then you know someone's going to get stabbed." (77:27)
• "I started thinking about all the people I hurt... stabbed a guy for $8... has nothing to do with me. Why do I feel like I'm entitled?" (66:26)

Redemption and Hope

• “Some of these guys have hit me up from Pelican Bay. They see me... and they’re just proud, man. That’s a big thing.” (98:06)
• "If I pick up [drugs], I'm getting locked up, right? If I use, I'm done." (117:54)
• "Being free. Staying free. That is the door to everything else. If I keep my sobriety and stay clean, I know I can do whatever I want." (117:16)

Advocacy & Closing Thoughts

• "If I could do it, you could do it. But you gotta come home first." (98:32)
• "I'd probably be some guy at a skate park teaching kids to skate... But I'm drawn to rehab and sobriety. That's something I'm drawn to." (121:07)
• "My story's still being written. I know I'm not done." (119:22)

Notable Moments With Timestamps

• First Pro Skateboard & Redemption (13:33–14:44): Story of making amends with someone he stole from as a youth.
• Faith, Rituals, and 'Church Violence' (19:46–20:26): The unique blend of faith and street code in his youth.
• First Time in Prison & Separation by Crimes (63:40–65:53): The chilling reality of entering max security, how certain inmates are weeded out for their safety.
• Making & Carrying Prison Weapons (75:33–77:36): Detailed description of concealing weapons in prison and the culture around it.
• Infamous Prison Attack (86:54–94:14): The moral and logistical struggle of attacking a cellmate due to gang rules, including his personal code and the consequences.
• Manifesting Acting Success (109:56–112:21): Connection with Elgin James from “Mayans,” and how a message sent from prison set up his acting break.

Episode Structure

[00:00–03:03] — Cold open with frank prison stories; intro to series and guest.

[03:03–21:02] — Fabian's upbringing, family gang culture, and early exposure to crime.

[21:02–32:11] — Skating as an escape, theft for survival, early brushes with law.

[32:11–54:13] — Drug use, escalating crime, family dynamics, and pivotal devastating events leading to prison.

[54:13–63:40] — The crime that sent him to prison, trial, defense, and sentencing.

[63:40–80:02] — Prison realities: intake, gangs, violence, weapons, code of conduct, and moments of reckoning.

[80:02–98:06] — Internal change, the seeds of reform, hope, and the beginnings of new goals.

[98:06–117:16] — Reintegration, skate and acting comeback, mentorship, and advocacy.

[117:16–Conclusion] — Reflections on sobriety, lasting change, what he hopes to be, and maintaining direction.

Tone and Style

Honest, unvarnished, and deeply conversational. The episode oscillates between gritty detail and moments of laughter and warmth, reflecting both hosts' and guest’s authenticity and deep-lived experience.

For First-Time Listeners

This episode is a masterclass in understanding the real mechanics and human cost of crime, prison, and marginalization. It’s a compelling firsthand story of resilience, redemption, and the power of second (or fifth) chances.

Takeaway:
"Nobody's born wanting to be a criminal... it's the circumstances of life that lead you to that." — Mariana van Zeller (125:24)

Recommended for:
Anyone interested in the lived realities behind underground economies, the criminal justice system, or the human capacity to rebuild after extraordinary adversity.