The High Performance Podcast

Episode: Nicolas Hamilton – Beyond Being Lewis' Brother & My Fight to Be Seen For Who I Am (E369)
Date: September 8, 2025
Host: Jake Humphrey
Guest: Nicolas Hamilton

Episode Overview

In this profoundly honest episode, Nicolas Hamilton opens up about forging his own identity beyond his famous surname and living with cerebral palsy. He details the “tough love” upbringing, the mental and physical challenges of both disability and fame, and his journey toward genuine self-acceptance. Nicolas reveals how gaming, motorsports, therapy, and vulnerability have empowered him, and shares candidly about his darkest moments, including addiction and suicidal thoughts. This conversation is a testament to the strength required not just to achieve but to simply live authentically.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Childhood and “Tough Love” Parenting (02:58–06:13)

• Nicolas’s upbringing was intentionally tough:
  His parents chose not to “wrap him in cotton wool.” Their approach was to let him face his challenges head-on—even from the age of four.
  • “I was brought up on tough love. I didn’t have it easy from day one.” (02:58)
  • If he fell, his parents “just left me there to figure it out myself.” (04:31)
• Early resentment turned to gratitude:
  Nicolas recalls resenting his parents’ distance as a child but now deeply appreciates the independence and grit it fostered.
  • “All of that sort of resentment has turned into gratitude … it takes a strong person to stand back when they see their disabled child struggling.” (05:31)

School, Loneliness, and Early Identity Struggles (10:29–18:51)

• Being the “only one”:
  As the only disabled person and person of color at his school, Nicolas was highly visible and deeply isolated.
  • “I felt very, very lonely. Almost like I was the only disabled person in existence at that point.” (12:43)
• Bullying and exclusion:
  He was bullied, not for his race but due to his disability—kids would make fun of him, play pranks, and wear shirts with wheels to mock him.
  • “Kids would come behind me and pull me backwards in my wheelchair so I was just lying on the floor staring at the sky.” (13:34)
• Persistent loneliness:
  Even with supportive friends and family, the isolation of living with a lifelong, rare disability lingers.
  • “Being a disabled person is a very lonely place in itself … this condition is gonna be here until I die and leave this earth … I’m still quite a lonely individual. And that's okay.” (14:45)

Vulnerability vs. Facade & Self-Acceptance (18:14–21:35)

• “Happy Nick” was a mask:
  Early public appearances painted him as cheerful, but this was often a front to hide his private struggles.
  • “That was a facade. It was a mask that I carried with me because I think, you know, deep down I was unhappy with being in my wheelchair.” (18:51)
• No rivalry with Lewis Hamilton:
  Despite public narratives, Nicolas never experienced jealousy—he was in awe of Lewis and felt honored to support him.
  • “There was never this sibling rivalry … I wanted the best for Lewis and I wanted him to have all the success.” (23:14)

Coping Mechanisms & Brotherly Bond (28:48–30:17)

• Gaming as connection:
  Gaming remains one of the truest ways he and Lewis can bond privately.
  • “That connection where it’s just you and him, no one else. It’s like being in the pub with your mates, that’s what gaming’s like.” (29:05)
• Normal sibling roughhousing:
  Lewis treated him as any little brother would, further normalizing his disability.
  • “He would get me to do [dangerous stuff] first to see how dangerous it was … that actually has been a real big part in how strong I am internally.” (30:30)

Choosing Motorsports & Physical Adaptation (35:07–41:24)

• Chose racing for himself, not as Lewis’s shadow:
  His motorsport career emerged as a personal journey toward independence, not to chase or compete with his brother.
  • “I chose to become a racing driver for me, not for anybody else. … Motorsport is relatively safe. If I find a way that I can train my legs, use my legs in a race car … it’s more just an achievement for myself and for little Nick.” (35:30)
• Physical challenges on the track:
  Competing with cerebral palsy means adapting every movement in the car.
  • “I can’t flex my ankles, so my ankles are pretty static … Everything comes from the thigh muscle.” (39:48)
  • “It’s like trying to figure out how the hell you use all this tightness. My last proper seat fit took me twelve and a half hours to figure out what I need.” (40:09)
• Measuring success:
  For Nicolas, achievements are personal—walking steps without holding on, or going a day without falling.
  • “You can only succeed at your own life … I’m already successful because I’ve managed to overcome my disability, live with it in a way that it doesn’t plague me.” (41:26)

Mental Health, Gambling Addiction & Hitting Rock Bottom (46:19–61:07)

• The darkness of 2016:
  Unable to race and struggling for meaning, Nicolas spiraled into a gambling addiction.
  • “I just gambled all day with all my savings, basically. And I lost thousands and thousands … I, for the first time in my life, was trying to really think about how logistically I could commit suicide.” (47:55, 48:47)
  • “The Samaritans … saved my life at that point because I was in a dark room at the end of everything.” (51:50)
• What depression felt like:
  “Darkness for me … I was just lying on my back on a cold floor in a dark room … feeling cold. That for me is like what darkness feels like.” (52:38)
• On shame and asking for help:
  Discussing having to sell a beloved gift from Lewis to recover from financial losses:
  • “The guilt that I felt in that moment because it was Lewis’s money, even though it was a gift for me … it was so painful.” (56:10, 56:33)
• Climbing out of the pit:
  Recovery relied on self-initiative (not waiting for family to rescue him), therapy, and reestablishing basic routines.
  • “How I got out of it was realizing that I had the strength within myself to do it.” (58:46)
  • “Success is nothing about money. Money is really, really not important. … What gives me happiness … is helping, supporting people, giving people hope.” (58:44–59:16)

Reflections on Therapy & Advice (64:01–67:42)

• Therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness:
  Nicolas doubles down on the value and necessity of therapy.
  • “If you decide to go to therapy, you’re like one of the strongest people there are … You’re open to learning more about yourself.” (64:15)
  • “Go to therapy … it’s like an internal thing. That’s where I’m at, you know, as long as you can afford it or … try and continue, continue to go because you’re always evolving.” (65:46)
• The power is within:
  Jake and Nick close by reaffirming that validation and inner strength must come from within, not from external expectations.
  • “Now I realize the only place you can find [strength and confidence] is within.” (67:03, Jake)
  • “There's so many people having to look out for outwardly, for external validation and really none of that matters … when you go through the troughs you realize you're always strong enough to get through it.” (67:09, 67:28, Nick)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “What is hard for you isn't necessarily bad for you.”
  (Jake Humphrey, 02:31)

• “All of that sort of resentment has turned into gratitude, because it takes a strong person and a strong relationship … to stand back when they see their disabled child struggling.”
  (Nick Hamilton, 05:31)

• “Being a disabled person is a very lonely place … everywhere I go, there's only me that is disabled … and … has to get up in the morning, has to deal with the difficulties and struggles.”
  (Nick Hamilton, 14:45)

• “I lived my life as a kid, you know, smiling. … But it was definitely a facade … I was unhappy with being in my wheelchair at the time.”
  (Nick Hamilton, 18:51)

• “I chose to become a racing driver for me, not for anybody else. … It was more just an achievement for myself and little Nick.”
  (Nick Hamilton, 35:30)

• “I’m a Paralympian competing in the Olympics.”
  (Nick Hamilton, 38:02)

• “You can only succeed at your own life. You can’t succeed at anyone else’s life, and you can’t succeed by doing what other people do.”
  (Nick Hamilton, 41:26)

• “I just gambled all day with all my savings, basically. And I lost thousands … and for the first time in my life was trying to really think about how logistically I could commit suicide at the point.”
  (Nick Hamilton, 48:47)

• “How I got out of it was realizing that I had the strength within myself to do it. … That's the power of family. … But here, for me, it wasn't my family that pulled me out it was me that pulled me out.”
  (Nick Hamilton, 58:46, 63:09)

• “If you decide to go to therapy, you’re one of the strongest people there are … I feel like everyone should at some stage go to therapy.”
  (Nick Hamilton, 64:15, 65:37)

Key Timestamps

• Tough Love Upbringing: 02:58–06:13
• School Loneliness & Bullying: 10:29–18:51
• Facades & Finding Purpose: 18:14–21:35
• Brotherly Bonding & Gaming: 28:48–30:17
• Decision to Race & Physical Challenges: 35:07–41:24
• 2016 Mental Health Crisis: 46:19–61:07
• Advice on Shame & Therapy: 64:01–67:42

Conclusion

Nicolas Hamilton’s story is one of quiet but profound courage—a quest to find, not win, value in himself. The episode explores not only the mechanics of high performance, but the even greater challenge of self-acceptance, resilience in darkness, and serving others. Through candor around pain, shame, and support, Nicolas offers hope for anyone battling to be seen—or to see themselves.