347: Gene Simmons - God of Thunder

Summary

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The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler — Episode 347: Gene Simmons – God of Thunder

Release Date: August 18, 2025
Guest: Gene Simmons (of KISS)
Theme: Stories of resilience, survival, and success with Gene Simmons—rock legend, entrepreneur, and son of a Holocaust survivor.

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Episode Overview

In this riveting episode, comedian Ryan Sickler delves deep into the extraordinary journey of Gene Simmons, "God of Thunder" from KISS. They cover Gene's family history—including his mother’s survival through the Holocaust—his immigration story, fierce work ethic, KISS’s marketing genius, and lessons on money, parenting, resilience, and identity. With humor, candor, and plenty of Simmons’ trademark bite, they explore both the scars and the soaring triumphs behind the success.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

KISS: Business Empire & Cultural Impact

[02:25–04:48]

• KISS’s Name & Brand Sold:
  Gene details how Pop House bought KISS—their name, makeup, and music catalog, opening doors to new ventures: avatar shows, movies (director McG attached), and a slew of licensed products.
  • "There are plays and cartoon shows. There's a movie being cast right now... And lots of new toys and games and dildos and stuff like that." — Gene, [03:05]
• Product Licensing Masterclass:
  Gene’s unapologetic about KISS’s vast array of products, from condoms to caskets:
  • "We've done everything from KISS condoms to KISS caskets. We'll get you coming and we'll get you going." — Gene, [04:13]
  • Dimebag Darrell (Pantera) was buried in a KISS casket as per his wishes [04:49–05:01]
• Artistic Integrity Critiques:
  • “What about credibility? Bitch, you don't even know how to spell that word. … Since when do people who never learned how to read or write music [worry about] credibility?” — Gene, [03:31]
• Memorable One-Liner:
  • “Keep beer is cold to keep you cold.” — Ryan, [04:48]

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Parentage, Upbringing, and Family Survival

[17:52–23:40]

• Gene’s Mother: Holocaust Survivor:
  Pivotal family history: Gene’s mother survived Nazi concentration camps, losing most of her family, before emigrating to Israel, and later the US.
  • "My mother was 14 … the entire Klein family, my mother's side, were Jewish Europeans, Jewish Hungarians...taken into the concentration camps." — Gene, [18:22]
  • "Any wisdom I have...is from her. … Perseverance isn't just a big word … the turtle actually won the race, not the rabbit.” — Gene, [23:31]
• On Historical Trauma & Resilience:
  • “Despite all the hardships, she had this philosophy: every day above ground is a good day. … What the fuck is your problem? … you're in heaven.” — Gene, [49:02]
• The Drive to Thrive:
  Gene attributes his work ethic and desire for success to witnessing his mom's relentless drive.
  • "The more you thrive, the more armor you have around you that they can't...success gives you money and success gives you position.” — Gene, [41:28]

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Immigration, Languages & Early Challenges

[26:28–33:25]

• Early Life:
  Gene recounts arriving in America not knowing English, learning through TV, and growing up with a single mother after his father left.
  • “We came to America. My mother raised me on her own. My father left us when I was about six years of age. And shamefully, it’s not unique in America.” — Gene, [26:28]
• Polyglot Upbringing:
  • Gene speaks Turkish, Spanish, Hungarian, Hebrew, German, a smattering of Japanese, and picked up English via "better dressed" people on TV:
    • “You want to learn a language? Stop on day one speaking English. By the end of the day, you'll learn to say, where's the bathroom?” — Gene, [28:19]
  • Demo of Japanese basics, e.g., “Ohio” (“Good morning”), “Watashi wa Ryan des.” [30:01–31:29]
• Secrets to Assimilation:
  • “Change your name, cut off your nose, whatever it is, don’t lead with the thing that makes people hate you.” — Gene, [36:01]

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KISS Fan Moments, Family, and Brotherhood

[07:21–13:39]

• Family Stories:
  Ryan shares a story of his twin brother destroying his treasured KISS remote control van as a child; Gene offers cathartic (and comedic) support.
  • "I want you to close that childhood wound for me...Gene, say, 'Hey Derek, you—'”
  • "Hey Derek, you. And remember to swallow." — Gene, [11:54]
• Competitive Twins:
  • Discussion about sibling rivalry, competition, and even “sharing” romantic interests—Gene's insightful, funny takes on pecking order and animal hierarchy (with dogs, family, relationships). [06:35, 12:39, 13:03]

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Jewish Identity, History, & Humor

[34:34–47:31]

• Jewish Cultural Contributions:
  • Gene discusses the small global population but outsized cultural impact of Jews:
    • "All the superheroes, all of them, Batman, Superman, the Fantastic Four, Thor, the Hulk, were all created by Jews, is that right?” — Gene, [33:49]
• On Assimilation:
  • "Dress British, think Yiddish." — Gene, recurring motif
• Origin of 'Ghetto':
  • "That's a Jewish term. … The ghetto is a Jewish term. In World War II in Warsaw, when Jews barricaded themselves in an area, it's called the Warsaw Ghetto.” — Gene, [44:13–47:11]
• Riffing on Religion:
  • Gene playfully takes apart the history of religious terms—“hallelujah,” “amen,” the pope’s yarmulke (“that’s ours”)—offering a brisk, funny, and honest take.

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Parenting, Money, & Pragmatism

[50:30–59:11]

• Parenting Philosophy:
  • No allowances for his kids; self-sufficiency instilled early—do a job, get paid, learn value.
    • "You want money? You got to do something. Do this, mow the lawn, clean this, do that.” — Gene, [50:30]
• On the “Entitled Generation”:
  • "The entitled generation. If you go through your life getting your palm greased...when you turn 18 or 20...you get entitled. Hey, I deserve healthcare. No, actually you don't.” — Gene, [51:32]
• Success Advice:
  • “Best revenge is to have them work for you. Living well is the best revenge.” — Gene, [71:37]
• Pragmatism About the Arts:
  • Gene’s deal with his mother: get a degree for a fallback.
    • “Pragmatism isn’t just a big word like gymnasium. It means you will win if you have a fallback position.” — [55:31]

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Relationships, Marriage, and Life Lessons

[57:05–60:48]

• Gene on Marriage & Divorce:
  • "The smartest job in western culture on the face of the planet is to be a woman. … Get married and divorced as many times as before you drop dead. You can continue to take half..." — Gene, [57:05]
  • "You know why men die younger than women? Because they want to. I'm just—it’s a joke." — [59:19]
• On His Relationship with Shannon Tweed:
  • ”I figured out a long time ago it works better if I wake up in the morning and I say the first words are, 'I’m sorry.'” — Gene, [59:34]
• Mother’s Role in His Success:
  • "After all she'd been through...I had to [make her proud]. After all, that she'd been through. Totally devoted to me." — Gene, [47:54, 49:02]

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Legendary KISS Success & Entrepreneurial Lessons

[60:18–64:48]

• Rapid Rise of KISS:
  • In 18 months, from teaching 6th grade in Spanish Harlem to headlining stadiums; fans drove KISS's nationwide market research.
    • "We were making so much money so fast. … Before there was Amazon, we were doing that." — Gene, [62:10, 63:40]
  • Surprising fan stats: 60% male, 40% female, most important magazine: Sports Illustrated.

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Philosophy, Death, & Legacy

[65:05–68:54]

• Final Moments With His Mother:
  • Gene movingly describes singing Hungarian folk songs at his mother’s deathbed—emphasizing love, appreciation, and the pain/beauty of saying goodbye.
    • “I held her hand and I sang the Hungarian songs that she used to sing to me when I was a kid...” — Gene, [65:15]
  • Reflection on mothers as the "cornerstone of civilization."
• Would He Change Anything?
  • "I wouldn't change a thing ... Not having a father figure around. And my mother was always working at a sweat factory ... My mother used to make half a penny per button." — Gene, [69:10]

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Money, Frugality, and the Jewish Stereotype

[70:57–71:31]

• On Frugality:
  • "If you're not Jewish, it's called, people say, 'Oh, you're frugal.' If you're Jewish, you're cheap." — Gene, [71:14]
  • "Somebody says I'm cheap, I say, thank you, I'm smart. I'll see you at the end." — [71:37]

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Notable Quotes

• On Success: “It's not who's smarter, it's who works harder.” — Gene Simmons, [22:59]
• On Resilience: “Every day above ground is a good day. … If you had food to eat and a roof over your head, and nobody was trying to kill you, you're in heaven.” — Gene Simmons, [49:02]
• On Being Different: “Don't lead with the thing that makes people hate you.” — Gene Simmons, [36:01]
• On Parenting: “You want money, you got to do something.” — Gene Simmons, [50:30]
• On Legacy: “Best revenge is to have them work for you. Living well is the best revenge.” — Gene Simmons, [71:37]

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Standout Lighter Moments

• Gene’s classic deadpan, e.g., “Thank you for giving me the clap.” [02:05]
• Honest quips about relationships, parenting, and growing up poor—and a memorable off-color Jewish joke to close. [73:11]

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Learning with Gene: Fast Takes

• Gene shows how he learned languages, his views on etiquette (global and rockstar style), and how to teach a dog—or child—about hierarchy.
• Brief but striking forays into European and American history, the origins of common words (like “ghetto”), and the complexity of the “alter ego”—linking superheroes to Jewish identity.
• Emphasis on pragmatism, diversification of investments (“crypto, real estate, stocks, bonds, futures, commodities”), and readiness for life’s unpredictability.

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Final Thought

This episode is equal parts rollicking history lesson, inspirational immigrant story, business seminar, and stand-up set—with a powerful heart underneath. Gene Simmons is as candid about trauma as he is about triumph. The through-line? Survivors don’t just survive—they thrive, laugh, and leave a mark that can’t be erased.

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Timestamps: Essential Segments

• [02:25] — KISS’s business ventures & licensing
• [04:49] — Dimebag Darrell’s KISS casket
• [17:52] — Holocaust family history
• [26:28] — Immigration, early childhood, and language learning
• [49:02] — Gene’s mother’s guiding wisdom
• [50:30] — Parenting and work ethic
• [55:31] — Making the deal with his mother: fallback plan and teaching degree
• [62:10] — KISS’s overnight success story
• [65:15] — Singing to his mother as she passes away
• [69:10] — Advice to 16-year-old Gene Simmons
• [73:11] — Closing Jewish joke and parting wisdom

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For compelling stories, business wisdom, and a lived-through-it-all perspective with plenty of laughs—this is a must-listen HoneyDew.

Transcript

[A]

Mmm. Oh. Whatcha eating?

[B]

The new banana split cookie from AM pm. All freshly baked with real butter with banana, chocolate and strawberry flavors.

[A]

Wow, that sounds amazing. Can I have a bite?

[B]

I'm sorry, but no.

[A]

But you can't split the banana split. Not even a little.

[B]

Not even a crumb.

[A]

What if. No, please.

[B]

Mine. When it's too legit to split. That's cravenience. Get a 3 pack for 99 cents with our app ampm. Too much good stuff. Plus tax where applicable. Prices and participation may vary. Terms and conditions apply.

[A]

What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[B]

Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[A]

Could you be more specific?

[B]

When it's cravinient.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at AM pm. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can.

[A]

Grab in just a second at a.m. pM. I'm seeing a pattern here.

[B]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[A]

Crave, which is anything from AM pm.

[B]

What more could you want? Stop by AM pm where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. Am PM Too much. Good stuff. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

We're over here doing it in the night Pants studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Ryancickler.com Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I'm starting this episode like I start them all by saying thank you. Thank you for supporting not only this show anything. I do. I genuinely appreciate you guys. You're the best fans in comedy. If you gotta have more, then you gotta have the Patreon. It's called the Honeydew with y'. All, and it's this show with y'. All. And y' all have the wildest stories I've ever heard in my life. Five bucks a month. It's worth a cup of coffee. All right, if you or someone you know has a story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydewpodcastmail.com all right, that's the biz. You know what we do here? We highlight the low lights. And I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest on with me. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the God of thunder, Gene Simmons. Welcome to the Honeydew, Gene Simmons.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you for. Thank you for giving me the clap.

[B]

You're welcome.

[A]

See what I did there?

[B]

Look, obviously I'm a Massive fan. And I'm giddy about this, but before I get into any of my nonsense, please promote everything, anything you'd like.

[A]

Okay. You want me to talk about Satan?

[B]

Whatever you want.

[A]

Not going to happen. Just because you worship that son of a. Does not see the sound bite's got to be you. I've had enough of that stuff.

[B]

We'll get there.

[A]

I really don't care.

[B]

Social media books tour.

[A]

Have we have books? Social media Pop house bought Kiss. Big company. They're very.

[B]

What do you mean, bot Kiss bought.

[A]

The name, the makeup and the catalog.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yes, About a year and a half ago. So there are plays and cartoon shows. There's a movie that's being cast right now, a guy named Mick G, mc, Capital G, who's done lots of.

[B]

Yeah, I know who Mick G is.

[A]

Yeah. So that's in the casting stage now. And there's going to be a Kiss Avatar show, which is tough to describe, so we'll just let it happen when it happens. And lots of new, you know, tons of toys and games and dildos and stuff like that.

[B]

I love it. I love it. It's been going for.

[A]

Matter of fact, over the years, literally thousands of licensed products, people have stopped complaining. You know, when you first started doing stuff, they said, what about credibility? Bitch, you don't even know how to spell that word. Since when do people who never learned how to read or write music wor. Credibility? What are you talking about? Last week you were selling crack on the corner. This week you're talking about credibility. Artists don't do that. Artist, you taught yourself how to strum guitar. And you don't have no qualification for even saying the word artist. So they finally stopped because the Kiss juggernaut rules. And we've. Over the years, we've done everything from Kiss condoms to Kiss caskets. We'll get you coming and we'll get you going.

[B]

I fucking love it.

[A]

But that's fact, by the way.

[B]

I know it is. Yeah, I know it is. And is it. Doesn't the. Doesn't the casket double as a cooler up until you need to use it, does it not?

[A]

There are bars across the country that have bought it. Is that right? Yeah, you know, as a centerpiece. And they fill it with ice and everything in the drinks. You want something and you know, why wait until you're dead to use something?

[B]

Keep Beer is cold to keep you cold.

[A]

As a matter of fact, sadly, Dimebag Daryl from Pantera, one of his last wish and testaments were to be buried in a Kiss Casket.

[B]

Is that right?

[A]

I sent him one of mine. Yeah. No joke.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

He had ace tattooed on his chest and everything. Yeah. You know, sadly, how he passed is. There was a former Marine who, out of his mind, stepped up on a club, on a stage and just shot him in the head.

[B]

I didn't know the. I knew how he died, but I didn't know the history of the guy. He was. He was mentally ill or PTSD or.

[A]

Well, in either case, I would kill the son of a bitch. I'm not a. You don't want to make me the judge of anything because I think we've got a pussy justice system.

[B]

Well, you've been on stage for. Jesus, 60 years or more.

[A]

Not 60, but since 1804.

[B]

Have you been attacked ever like that with a weapon? Anybody ever come up with a weapon?

[A]

I'm a decent sized guy.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm saying they gotta be crazy to come up. You're blowing fire.

[A]

But usually people pick fights or bully there. Even when you're drunk, you tend to pick on people smaller. So I've never really been picked on. What happened with your dog today?

[B]

Yeah, man. So why don't you tell them? Gene came in and Princess was barking like she likes to do if you're coming in her spot. And Jean said, you know what takes care of this? Watch this. And he said, oh. And that's all he did. She yelped, backed up, she went in. He walked in, put his hand out, started kissing him. He leaned down, started kissing him, lifted her chin up, started tickling her best friend.

[A]

Everybody wants what?

[B]

What are the rules?

[A]

What's the pecking order? Because we're all pack animals. Human beings, dogs, they react to the same thing. We just want to know what the rules are. Where do we stand in the hierarchy? And you notice I'm about to turn 76 and my hand does not shake.

[B]

It doesn't. And you've been playing bass for Harper Tip.

[A]

No drugs, no booze and no cigarettes. Ever try running a car? Put some sand or crap in your fuel? It's not going to run very well, by the way. I'm not here to shake my finger at anybody and say do what I do. No, you've got a menu in life. You're welcome to pick what you want from it. It's my personal choice.

[B]

Well, I want to get into this with you, but before I do, I want to say, when I first met you, you were so great. You came to the Stand up show, you came to the Re up with your son Nick. Who's done watch. His episode was great, by the way.

[A]

Nick and Evan Stanley, Paul Stanley's son, now have this band. They both have their own musical thing. Nick's music's been on Ozark, the two hour special, and what was the other one? Prodigal Son, Lots of stuff. And Evans, a really accomplished guitar player and writer in his own right. And they've been pals since they were little amoebas. And they got together, started strumming and they sort of.

[B]

I follow them. I love it.

[A]

The voices just melt.

[B]

So we're watching it as they sort of do it together then.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The material is coming fast.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

And you can describe it as kind of Crosby, Stills Nash and Simon Garfunkel. Real melody, acoustic guitars, really good stuff. But you can't, you know, there are tones that just work with other tones, voices. So if Jagger joined the Beatles and tried to sing harmony with John and Paul, it wouldn't work. The tonality just doesn't work. And so there's something, you know, there's something very special about the Beatles. Not just because they all came from a small town, had no resume, no experience, no everything. When they sang harmony, you just go, there's that sound. Really something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Nick and Evan have that.

[B]

Yeah. I'm pleasantly surprised. I was telling a friend this morning, like he's playing with Paul Stanley's son and they're actually really good. But you came in, you said, I'll never forget because I'm meeting you for the first time. You're a good looking, funny man. And I said, I think I may.

[A]

Have said, you're a powerful and attractive man.

[B]

Thank you. Even better, brother.

[A]

I may have said, you, you may be popular in jail.

[B]

You bumped my tires, that's for sure. And all I could say, and I told my brothers was, I was you for Halloween.

[A]

Two years in a row. I was me also.

[B]

Even then we had the Halloween costume, the one that was flammable, you know, we stopped.

[A]

That's exactly right.

[B]

With the rubber band.

[A]

We stopped making it because in those days the fire department was asleep at the wheel. Here, kid, by the way, what are you, five years old? Put this on. Don't smoke, because it'll go up. Yeah.

[B]

My brother and I would trade off and be used.

[A]

And they would melt onto your skin because it was plastic.

[B]

About that. The. Yeah, that's great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I told you a quick story that farm animals. I'm a twin, fraternal twin. I got the looks.

[A]

That's why you're fucked up and.

[B]

Yeah. And this is 19, probably March of 79.

[A]

Tell me the truth. Which one of you has the bigger schmeckle?

[B]

You know what? I'll be honest. I really don't know. I'll ask him.

[A]

What? You saw each other naked? Yeah.

[B]

But I don't remember. It's been years.

[A]

When mom's not looking.

[B]

It's been years. Dude, I really don't know. I got. I'm no shame of my game. I'll ask them. I want.

[A]

What's his name?

[B]

Girth and Derek.

[A]

Derek.

[B]

I get the destroyer Kiss remote control van that you probably marketed out there. It's early one, you know, they don't.

[A]

Know what that is.

[B]

I recently looked on the other podcast, the way back for one online people are asking for up to five grand for those. I don't know if you know that. And my brother sees that I got it and he's pissed that he didn't. He takes it out. He goes out in our driveway. He drives this thing right out in the street and a car runs over and breaks into piece. I'm devastated.

[A]

So he didn't do it on purpose?

[B]

Oh no, he did do it on purpose.

[A]

Why?

[B]

That's a good question. So I see him recently. This is. I mean, I'm seven probably at the time. This is 45 years later right now. And I see him and I finally get him on a podcast after podcasting for 15 years. And one of the first things he says to me is, you know what I remember? I go, what? He goes, that time you got that Kiss fan. And I drove it out in the street and purposely had it run over by a car so you couldn't play with it. I said, yeah, why? I. That's what I said. Why? He's like, I don't know. And I said, well, you know what? Here it is.

[A]

That's not an answer.

[B]

I want you to close that childhood wound for me and look right there at that camera and say, hey Derek you.

[A]

Hey, Derek you. And remember to swallow.

[B]

Yeah, that's from the God of thunder and your brother, Derek you.

[A]

So wound healed. I don't know is the answer. What's. What's the real answer? What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[B]

Hmm. It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[A]

Could you be more specific?

[B]

When it's cravenient.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in Just a second.

[A]

At am, pm. I'm seeing a pattern here.

[B]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[A]

Crave, which is anything from am, pm.

[B]

What more could you want? Stop by AMPM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravingience.

[A]

Am, pm.

[B]

Too much. Good stuff. I guess. You know, we were both twins and we were competitive and I guess he just was like, let's go. And we were not the twins. Like we've had the Sklar brothers on where they finish each other's sentences and they're always want to play together. We were always like, no, you're over there and I'm over here.

[A]

Can enable. Didn't get along.

[B]

We were not.

[A]

So tell us the truth because inquiring minds want to know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So when the chicks came along, did you ever share?

[B]

Not intentionally.

[A]

I'm sorry. I'm assuming you're straight. Okay, so when little book.

[B]

Not essentially, but let me tell you something. I found out after. Not at the same time. Never had a three climb brother. But he found. I found out later that, yeah, there's one or two.

[A]

If he's going to run over your Kiss truck, he's going to mount one of your chicks makes See the, the, the continuity and the. Yeah, it makes sense.

[B]

Yeah, that pecking order.

[A]

We were going to run over your truck and I'm gonna one of your chicks.

[B]

Also. One of the things I wanted to show you too, I brought this used condom.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

This was a big deal for me. This is my friend Matt Schilling, who and I have been friends since before elementary school. We promised each other as kids, when you took the makeup off, if you ever put it back on, we would go see that show and we would go see it in Madison Square Garden. I'm from Baltimore. So you guys announced Saturday, July 27, 1996, that you're coming back in makeup for the first time after years and you're going to Madison Square Garden.

[A]

Ace and Peter got their act together for a while.

[B]

It was the original four. And you come to the Garden? Not just. We didn't go to the Capsa. He was living in New York, I'm in Baltimore. I pick his younger brother up. We drive up together. My 1990 Honda Civic with original rims. And that's the ticket stub right there. 311 opened for you guys on that show, which was.

[A]

Well, we had different three or four nights and we had different bands.

[B]

Oh, each night was different.

[A]

Each night we always gave new bands. New England Was another band. And I think. I'm pretty sure I'll think of the other one. But we always gave new bands. In fact, if you take a look at the list of the bands, we gave their first tour on acdc, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Bon Jovi, Motley Cruel.

[B]

Did you do Ozzy or Black Sabbath?

[A]

No, we played with Sabbath originally when we were both trying to make some headway in 74. But these are first tours. Cheap Trick. I mentioned Bon Jovi, Motley, Almost anybody. Scorpions, anybody we just liked. Besides being in a band, you're also fans, you know. Oh, gee, I like that. Maybe the. Maybe the kids would like hearing that.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, that's that show. I saved this forever, man. This was. This was wild.

[A]

Well, don't get rid of that.

[B]

I'm never getting rid of that. Never. That's. This is going in a. In the frame out there. But let's dial it back.

[A]

What is that little.

[B]

What?

[A]

Skid mark on the corner of the ticket? What's that about?

[B]

Let's talk about.

[A]

Is that Hendrix in the corner?

[B]

That is Hendrix over there. That Bust is. I'm a huge Hendrix fan and Tom.

[A]

Segura name some of the bands before Hendrix became. It was Jimmy James and the Flames.

[B]

Jimmy James and the Blue Flames.

[A]

James Brown of the Flames.

[B]

He also plays from Little Richards.

[A]

He appeared. Go ahead.

[B]

Little Richard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Isley Brothers.

[A]

True.

[B]

Gosh. He played on the whole chitlin circuit, too. As his own guy for a while with all the broke. Chitlin circuit was the circuit where a lot of the black players came up and they were doing the teeth and behind. That's actually where they did. He learned how to do that.

[A]

Exactly. More stuff was happening there that white people just stand still. They try to tell us where to. Young chitlin circuit, you know, all that stuff. Chitlin is an African American dish. Pig innards. Poor people eat the food that's available. And the chitlin circus was all black and fire hazardous kind of wooden cabins in the middle of nowhere. And people who worked hard, black folks who worked hard would go there and see everybody. James Brown, Joe Tex, you know all that stuff.

[B]

Yeah. And he's playing with. I know he upstaged Little Richard a little bit. I read about all that stuff.

[A]

But he played with Richard. I don't mean in the band. I mean. No, it's not.

[B]

Did you ever play with him? Did you ever.

[A]

I knew. I knew, sure. Hendrix.

[B]

No, never.

[A]

Unfortunately.

[B]

Never crossed paths.

[A]

No. Sadly, no. He died at 27. In fact, I wrote a book called 27. The astonishing number of Talented Young People. Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse. I mean, it goes on all the way back to the Elephant man.

[B]

Belushi. Was Belushi 27 also just crazy. It is crazy.

[A]

Something suspicious about that number is a weird number.

[B]

My dad died on November 27th. Now you say it. How about that? Let's go back to the beginning. I really want to talk about, you know, your arrival here and all that, because from what I've understood, your mom is a Holocaust survivor. She actually made it out, and I'd love to hear about that and what your dad did as well. Then you get here knowing no English or anything, and now look at you. So what? How's it all begin for Mom?

[A]

Well, my mother was 14 and the entire Klein family, my mother's side, were Jewish Europeans, Jewish Hungarians. And the entire family was taken into the concentration camps of Nazi Germany. What were you going to say?

[B]

I was going to say that's why you and Kristina Pajicki hit it off that night. Her family's Hungarian. You went and sat and you guys had quite a conversation about that. And she mentioned it to me.

[A]

She said, although I'm fluent in Hungarian.

[B]

And German, that's what she was telling me.

[A]

She's.

[B]

Sorry to interrupt.

[A]

She's okay. I don't mean as a comedienne. Yeah, that is interesting about that job. There's comedian and comedienne. The masculine feminine spelled a little differently. Did you know that?

[B]

I did know that. The actual kids. Yeah.

[A]

And sadly, besides being tortured and starved, our whole family, I had no grandmothers, grandfathers. They were all first starved, tortured, beaten, and then eventually gassed.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

And what can I say? The crazy thing about Germany, and I don't believe there's such a thing as Hitler's children, you're born with a clean slate. So the modern Germans are very progressive and big supporters of Israel and all that. But in the 20th century, not too long ago, Germany decides to declare war on the world. On the world, not against it. No, we want the world. And of course, it doesn't go well for them in the First World War. And then something like under 30 years, they decide to go to war again against the world. This is the most advanced country in Europe technologically, mathematics and so on. Freud. Oh, that's right, he's Jewish, too. Came from Germany, you know, the highest level of academia came from Germany. In Europe, you can't even say, ah, they're barbarians. They can't even want. Nope. The most advanced technologically they invented the ICBM's, the rocket. In fact, when America went in there quickly, they took Wernher von Braun, the rocket scientist, and he created the American space program. Those were all Nazi technology. In fact, KISS played at the von Braun Civic center in Alabama. The government gave him anything, awards and everything. Just make our former Nazi. Yeah, life is strange.

[B]

I just recently heard that. And I see so much stuff on the Internet now, and I don't know what's true, but that's true, huh?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A former Nazi built our space.

[A]

We took. We took their brightest.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why wouldn't you?

[B]

I mean, that's in. It's. It's interesting. Instead of wiping them out, make them work for you.

[A]

Well, either. Either you kill them or the Russians get them, and that's what they're going to use them for. Or you may as well use their brain power. They were amazing that. There's still no explanation. I've read lots of theses. The thesis is one, and books and everything. There's no explanation explaining why the most advanced country, by the way, a very young country. It wasn't. Didn't become. There was Prussia and Bavaria and all that. They didn't become a country until about 1860. 1870. Bismarck and all that. Rule with an iron fist. He actually had an iron fist. Lost it. And Yes, I used to teach sixth grade, bitches.

[B]

Yeah, I want to hear about that.

[A]

So within Germany, by 1917, they just became a country in 1860, by 1917, declare war against the world.

[B]

That's interesting. 19 when? Or 1860, you said they became a country. So within the first 80 years they were going against the world.

[A]

Not even. Not even 42, 50, 40 years.

[B]

It's crazy. That is crazy. Go against the world.

[A]

They advance so quickly technologically and you know, they're.

[B]

So your mom, is she the last or was she the last of that. Your whole family going back years.

[A]

She finally passed at 94 years of age. And any wisdom I have. And I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but I will work harder than the guy next to me, which is why I succeed more often. It's not who's smarter, it's who works harder. Perseverance isn't just a big word like gymnasium. The turtle actually won the race. Not the rabbit. Do you know the turtle and the hair. Sorry, the hare.

[B]

Tortoise in the hair, actually.

[A]

Tortoise. Yeah.

[B]

Turtle and a rabbit.

[A]

The rest of us don't care. It's a turtle and it's a rabbit. Yeah.

[B]

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[A]

And what can I say? We came to America. My mother raised me on her own. My father left us when I was about six years of age. And shamefully, it's not unique in America.

[B]

He came as well. And then he left.

[A]

No, he never got to America. Both of them met in one of these camps that the Allies set up where you feed doctors and all that for the concentration camp survivors. And they couldn't feed them solid food because they would die like that. The digestive systems were starved to death. So you had to slowly, within a year, liquids and then slowly protein and so on, man. Yeah, and they were all.

[B]

So the only way to learn that too is by a lot of people dying and eating right away. Jesus.

[A]

Just horrific. And they met. And my father was a very, very tall man who spoke strangely because I hadn't seen him since I was sick. I found out he spoke through my half brother and half sisters, that he spoke 12 languages. I know it all sounds like. What are you talking about? Even though my father had never been to America, he spoke fluent English. The letters I got from him, from Israel, even though I hadn't seen him since I was six years of age, were in perfect English.

[B]

So he read and write, spoke Nigerian.

[A]

Russian, Arabic, Hungarian, Turkish. I don't even remember all the other languages.

[B]

How?

[A]

I don't know. I mean, I can pick up one. When my mother and I were in Israel, my father left. I had a babysitter because My mother worked six days a week, 7am till 7pm I was with a Turkish nanny who was just an older lady who lived next door with a German shepherd and a muzzle to prevent it from biting everybody, because that's what it used to do. In fact, I still have the scar because one day the German shepherd decided, oh, a Jewish snack. So I spoke in my younger years, Turkish, Spanish, Hungarian, Hebrew. And then when we came to America, the Turkish and the Spanish sort of disappeared. I can still understand. I can curse Spanish like a sailor. I mean, that's. But the language sort of went back there and learned German reasonably well. So I can get by and tell a girl she's beautiful. And also, if you don't tell her she's beautiful, she's not going to tell you where the bathroom is. So the first piece of advice, if you go to any other country is learn how to say in their language, you're beautiful, and then ask them where the bathroom is. Because if you don't tell them you're beautiful, they're not going to tell you where the bathroom is. Lesson one. And you can pick up any language. If you stop on day one speaking English, by the end of the day, you learn to say, where's the bathroom? I want water stuff. You will learn it because necessity is the mother. And so on. So I can almost do a la mur d'mvi. Spanish. That's Hungarian. Japanese.

[B]

So you speak fluent Japanese?

[A]

No, I wish.

[B]

I got enough to get by.

[A]

You got to put in the time, go to Japan, stop speaking English. You will learn. It is a fascinating language because it's now written phonetically. So, for instance, if I say watashi wa, Jin shimon is this. I'm telling you, my name is so and so. How do you think watashiwa is spelled?

[B]

Watashi wa. I mean, I would say W a t. No, wait.

[A]

What? She wa.

[B]

Water. Shiwa.

[A]

W a s h, I W a wa. Ta. I'm sorry. That's T. W a t a s h. It sounds watashi you. And then watashi.

[B]

Watashi wa.

[A]

So say watashi.

[B]

Watashi wa.

[A]

And then your name.

[B]

Ryan.

[A]

And then just add D, E, S, des at the end. Des. Not dis. Des.

[B]

Des.

[A]

Yeah. So say the whole thing. What?

[B]

Watashiwa, Ryan. Des.

[A]

Psycho. Des. So des. That's like psycho is perfect. And they do this so you can say good morning. I'll teach you good morning in 1/10 of a second. Ohio.

[B]

Ohio.

[A]

The state of Ohio. Say it.

[B]

Ohio.

[A]

Well, not Ohio. Like, como esta? Not like Americans. Do it. Just clip it. Ohio. Ohio. Sodes ne psychoness. That means perfect. Yeah, you just learned how to say good morning.

[B]

You also nailed a good mid Atlantic accent right there, too, man.

[A]

Mid Atlantic is what they call it.

[B]

Yeah, it is, for sure.

[A]

And by the way, that's how I learned to speak English. By watching television and realizing that in New York there are different sounds. You're going to the club tonight. There's that sound of English. There's. Yeah, man, like you ain't going to. There's that sound. My brother Bob was going to get to Long Island. There's that sound. But the guys on TV who were better dressed, read the news, spoke like this. I wanted to speak like them.

[B]

Give me the language, the order of the languages you learn them in.

[A]

You mean since childhood?

[B]

Yep, since childhood.

[A]

Hebrew, Hungarian, Turkish, Spanish. And then I forgot those. And then here it's a Hebrew, Hungarian, English, German and just a few Japanese.

[B]

Phrases down the list for you?

[A]

Well, yeah, it was the third language.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When we came here.

[B]

So you're learning by watching tv? You're not going to a class or anything like that? No one's teaching you, going to school. And it's only in English. Everything in English in school for you right away. What the hell's that like going? I mean, I can't imagine being day one in Japan and. And not. I mean, I wouldn't even know what the hell they're saying.

[A]

You learn quickly.

[B]

Yeah. And this is. What year is this? You're in elementary school. There's obviously 1904. So they as a lot of gesturing, I'm guessing, and following what other people were doing.

[A]

When my mother and I came here because she had two brothers. Very successful. No Jews who are successful.

[B]

What?

[A]

By the way, it's off the map. If you take a look at the peoples, religions and so on. Take a look at Jews. There's only 15 and a half million Jews on the entire planet.

[B]

Is that right?

[A]

That's worth a pregnant pause. There are only about 6 million grown men between the ages of 18 and 35 who are Jews on the planet. The rest are women and children. It's pretty shocking. And yet all the superheroes, all of them, Batman, Superman, the Fantastic Four, Thor, the Hulk were all created by Jews, is that right? All of them. Bob Kane is Bob Cohen, Bill Finger, Jack Kirby is Jacob Kurtzberg, Stan Lee is Stanley Lieber. Superman, Siegel and Shuster, they're all Jews. Dress British, think Yiddish. This idea of a secret, this alter ego, those Jews try to assimilate. Me too, I made up my own name. So all these strangely. And all of Hollywood, Warner Brothers, Paramount, Universal, all the studios were created, invented by Jews who could barely speak English literally. Goldfish became gold win. He stole the Wynn from Selwyn Brothers and they sued him. He won Metro Gold and mayor. In fact, the largest financial institution are Goldman Sachs. Both Jews. It's very strange, but find a pull up to a gas station. It's not a kike in sight. Within a thousand miles, you go to a construction site. Hey, Moshe, send me your hammer. Don't choose anywhere. Yeah, but if you want a lawyer, a doctor, or if you go to Wall street, play basketball, not one guy's named Iraq. Yeah, Route 1 can't dribble, but they own the teams.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You like the Patriots? Robert Kraft. Kraft, yeah, that name. Gee, it doesn't sound. Yeah, that's right. Dress British, think Yiddish. Change your name. Assimilate. Don't let's.

[B]

The first time I've ever heard a dress.

[A]

Don't lead with the thing that makes people hate you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Change your name, chop off your nose, do whatever it is that.

[B]

Who's the lady on the clip? I've always seen when you're.

[A]

The Cliff clip.

[B]

It's an old talk show. You're dressed, you're in your demon wear. And the ladies you're sitting next to, these two old ladies, and she says to you, like, oh, I know you're Jewish. You can't hide that hook from anywhere. Who was that lady? She an old actress or something on the show?

[A]

No. Tony Fields was a famous comedian of the time. And I was on an afternoon talk show called the Mike Douglas show, which was a variety show for. Let's call it for what it is, the housewives that were at home cleaning. So they had everybody on there, comedians, and Lennon and Yoko Ono took over for a whole week. There was no such thing as afternoon variety shows except that show. Toty Fields herself was obviously Jewish. Jack, Tony Curtis, Kirk Douglas, all these guys were hidden Jews. But what's this program turning into?

[B]

Well, I'm about to ask you this question. Did you ever have a conversation with your mother about where that will. To not just survive, but to thrive comes from? This is amazing. Yeah. This is a lady who, if. If I would have got out of the. Or anyone would have made it through through what she made it through, you'd think they'd be fine just living on a couch, watching a TV somewhere. But not your mom. Where does that come from throughout history?

[A]

Well, you can hate him like him or whatever Jews were considered called, the people of the book. The literacy rate was much, much higher. You couldn't find a Jewish farmer anywhere. Think about it.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Moskovitz's farm. There's no such thing. Yeah, Jewish booze. Laughable. It's like Manischewitz. It's like grape juice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Two Jews are not gonna say moishe, let's go get a drink. It's just not part of the culture. Drinking doesn't. Because it doesn't work. It makes you numb, and you can't do stuff and you stop doing. So the way you survive is by going into places that don't try to kill you. And there are very few, per the Bible, no such thing as the Old Testament. Right before Jesus was born, also a Jew, before he was born, it was called the Bible. It's only once Christians. Based on the Latin Christo which means Messiah or King Christ. Christo, that wasn't his name, by the way. Mom and dad were not Mr. And Mrs. Christ, right? Josephus Josephus Flavius, who was the scribe, the Jewish scribe who worked for the Romans because he didn't want to be killed. Was fluent in Latin and Hebrew and Aramaic and he kept track of who paid taxes, who got crucified, who are the criminals. Males only, because women had no rights. Sure enough, there's a rabbi, which means teacher. It's not a religious denomination. There is no hierarchy. You kiss nobody's ring, nobody can bless you. Nobody's got that power. It's a personal relationship. There is record in the Vatican and you can look it up and Google and schmoogle and all the other things that torture me by pressing a button. Rabbi Yesu Ben Yosef. Rabbi Jesus son ben of Joseph. The reason you learn that he is Jesus Christ instead of Jesus ben Joseph is you don't want church doesn't want you to think of Jesus last name as son of Joseph because he's supposed to be son of God. Yes. So Ben Joseph doesn't show up. I was a student of the New Testament and read the Quran and all the other stuff. I was a theology major. And it's fascinating what you can learn if you stick to the thing. So. So if you go to a church as a Jew, if you got a banker, a lawyer or anything, predominantly, especially in civil. What do you mean, middle America? Well, you know what I mean. Chicago, New York and la, they're Jews. Recently, big advances by our Eastern Indian brothers and sisters. Lots of new, very highly educated Indians from India. Because you make the effort, right? You don't put in the effort.

[B]

I think about it all the time. I see people here and I'm just like, I know me, I could never go to Vietnam and open a business, figure out all the legalities of this and the tax and the da da da da da da da. Learn the language and everything. I'm like, it's an incredible undertaking to go to another country where you don't speak a language.

[A]

Well, survival is a great impetus.

[B]

But I'm saying some people like I was what I want to get back to about your mom. Some people are fine just surviving. Your mom wanted to thrive. Why?

[A]

Because the more you thrive, the more armor you have around you that they can't, you know, racist America.

[B]

And you're seeing a woman who's in your family as well, but obviously her family wiped out, literally wiped out. And she's still Wanting to climb and climb.

[A]

Success gives you money and success gives you position. Despite the fact that in some areas in America, racism is alive and well on a high level. So I used to live with Diana Ross, who was a terrific, amazing woman. Now she told me stories when the Supremes, they were number one above the Beatles. That year they had six number one hits off of the first album.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Off of the first album Baby Love, Stopping the Name of Love and Can Hurry Love. All that from, like, the first six songs. Bang. So they were doing a tour, 1964, I believe, of the Southern states in America. Dave Clark 5, who were bigger than the Beatles that year, were opening for the Supremes. And they're traveling in those days by bus, and they do the show and the Supremes come on, and it's an integrated show where usually they're separated. Black folks here, white folks there. During that show, they were all mixed up, which was headlines. And the Supremes could not stay in the hotel. They'd have to stay in the colored hotel even then. And on the way outside, on the way out of town with the tour bus, there were bullet holes in the tour bus.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

This is 1964, not in the 1800s. Yeah, yeah. So despite the fact that. That there was racism overt, they didn't hide it in the States. When Diana went to almost anywhere, once she had fame and fortune and all that, the doors open up. If you're not. If you're not famous and you don't. Especially if you don't have the money, the doors close. And I want to say this as a historical fact. When we say the word ghetto, you know, I'm going back. I'm from the ghetto. That's a Jewish term. It's not a black term. And I'll tell you the history. In the Renaissance, Renaissance in Europe, the trading started to go really well. Marco Polo came back from China, introduced spaghetti to the Italians. They had never heard of spaghetti. That's a Chinese dish, including gunpowder and all that came from China.

[B]

I know that, but I know the postal system. How the hell are they eating spaghetti with chopsticks like that?

[A]

I still don't like chopsticks. Yeah, but they did it. A lot of those things didn't come from Italy, but they made it great for what it is, pasta, Chinese. So once the trade routes opened up and everything, different cultures talked with each other. So the Church made a law. Never a lender or borrower be. You couldn't charge interest. If you loan somebody money, don't charge them interest. And you have to be closed on Sunday because the Romans said it's the worship of the sun God, sun day, the Sabbath was always Saturday. But the Romans, once they got a hold of Christianity and made Caesar the first Pope. Vatican is in Italy, the same city that used to throw Christians to the lions. Same place. So the Jews tried to survive because everybody tried to kill them along the way. They were not in politics, not allowed, couldn't get into masonry, you couldn't build, you couldn't get into positions of power. They made enormous amounts of money as being tradespeople and banks because they started to do well in trading with, you know, people. They amassed money and then they started to loan people money, which became banks, which became the international banking system invented by Jews. The Rothschilds were a family with different members of the family throughout Europe. And you couldn't start a war without going to the Jews to get the money, which is the first. Which is why the first thing Hitler did was to take over the banks in Germany because they were all Jewish owned going back. So the Jews in Jews because they came from Judea, see, Or the Hebrews because they came from Hebron. That's very pragmatic. So Jews made a lot of money and you'd think they'd be able to live in Rome and Florence and so on. Nope. The only place they were allowed to live in the era of the Medicis, the ruling popes and so on, is they didn't want to kill them because they needed them. Yeah, it's good. It's like fertilizer, you know. They're good for the economy, people like them, and they can trade and everything. They could charge interest, the Christians couldn't. So they made fortunes. They were allowed to live in the smoke filled areas where they used to build bake bricks that built buildings in Italian. That area is called G E T T A the ghetto. The ghetto is a Jewish term. In World War II in Warsaw, when Jews barricade themselves in an area, it's called the Warsaw Ghetto.

[B]

I've always heard that. That's the original. I never knew that.

[A]

There is no black ghetto. It's Jews. It's the Jewish ghetto. You're welcome. By the way, in Christianity, all those words, hallelujah, Amen. No, those are all Hebrew words. Those are all Jew stuff. And what the Pope wears on top and said, that's a yamaka. No, that's.

[B]

It is a Yamaka.

[A]

That's ours.

[B]

Thank you for saying that. Yeah, that is your.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

So are you. Your mother's Only son, Only child. Yeah, you are. So is a big part of not wanting to let her down too.

[A]

That's exactly right. After the horrible.

[B]

I mean, how could you not want to make that woman proud?

[A]

I had to. After all she'd been through. Totally devoted to me. And I have photos of her all over. Good the place. And her words rang out to me. She was the wisest human being, not just woman I'd ever encountered. Because despite all the hardships, she had this philosophy in Hungarian, the words generally meaning every day above ground is a good day. Because from her perspective, if you had food to eat and you had a roof over your head and nobody was trying to kill you, what the fuck is your problem? You're in heaven. You're safe. You have food in your belly and you're protected from the seas. What else do you want? The rest is all cream. And I know I sometimes fall into the trap, you know, complaining about bad hair day or traffic jam or, you know, all the things we complain about means nothing. Try living in Zimbabwe for a week and see how you like it.

[B]

So here's a question I wanted to ask you as well.

[A]

I never touched her.

[B]

Was your mom. How was she? How old were you? Excuse me? When your mom passed.

[A]

I'll be 76 in three weeks, so I must. Must have been 80. I'm sorry, 80. 70. Must have been 60.

[B]

All right. So she saw you do what you do?

[A]

Oh, yeah. I bought her houses and like, whatever she wants. And my mother.

[B]

Did she get a chance to a grandmom with your kids? If she gets.

[A]

No, we're still. We're still waiting. Shannon. Sophie, who's by the way, Google. Sophie Simmons on Google and Schmoogle. And you'll see hundreds of songs that she's written, produced, she manages. And she's an artist herself. She wrote for Train, Rick Ross, all kinds of people. And do. Do the kids ever ask dad for opinions? No. And that's what you want. You want your kids to be able to. I mean, it's what birds do. Bees do it. Birds, you have a nest, and while they're helpless, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp. The mother bird or the father bird, because they're usually there together, at least for the beginning. Then the dad bird flies off to impregnate the next nest. Surprise. Mom feeds the chicks. And then when they get a little bit older, you know what she does? She literally pushes her ass out, pushes them off. And the ones that don't survive, don't survive. You're forced. So in a very real way, neither Nick nor Sophie ever got, what is it called, allowances. You know, where you give your kids money for nothing. No. You want money, you got to do something. Do this, I don't know, mow the lawn, clean this, do that, do that. Yeah. Then you understand the value of it. And then you don't have to say thank you. You don't owe anybody money. The loan labor, if you can get that into the thick skulls of what's the new generation X? What is it?

[B]

No, Hell no, I'm X. I don't know what they are. Gen Z, Millennials generation fucked up.

[A]

The entitled generation. Because if you go through your whole life getting your palm greased, which used to mean you get money for nothing. When you turn 18 or 20, whenever it is that you're on your own, you're used, you get entitled. Hey, I deserve health care. No, actually you don't.

[B]

Well, also, every answer is free. Living here, you don't need to go find shit out anymore. There's no more arguments and.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, it's all free, all knowledge. And it's up to you. You have an inferred fiduciary duty or an inferred duty to yourself to figure out what the right thing is, to figure out where the right place is and to figure out when the right time is. Right thing, right place, right time. I mean, when I was born, my mother used to chew my food for me. I didn't have a tooth in my skull and there was no such thing as baby food. In a new country, Israel, there's no baby food. It was just. And little babies, no teeth. Their moms used to chew their food so they can get protein and everything and fruit and whatever. I know it sounds. But that's what. Before the American system of baby food came in, mothers and fathers in the 1800s would chew their food just like birds, whatever, for their kids. I know it sounds like what? But think about it. So. And when I was born, I know for a fact I just used to shit whenever I wanted to. Somebody wipes up my shit. Somebody chews my food. I'm set. I can cry whenever I want. I can. It's like, this is the best thing. And then one day it stopped. Hey, so who's going to wipe my, you know, who's going to chew my food? And then you have to do it. And the sooner your kids or anybody's kids that you care about, the sooner they learn to be self sufficient, the more Good citizens they'll be.

[B]

So let me ask you this. I say this all the time, sitting across from people. My father's gener, or excuse me, my grandfather's generation, fought in World War II. My father, Vietnam.

[A]

The great generation. I urge anybody who's got a computer, which is most people, look up Sergeant Urban. He was almost 101. I was invited by the Washington, D.C. by the vet organization to be in the parade because I love the American military and I'll do whatever. I spoke at the Pentagon at the behest of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Yes, I did.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

In the year where almost nobody got up on that stage right there in the Pentagon and the podium and everything. I wasn't talking politics. I was talking about the. This is a volunteer military force. We talk all the time about everything except the people who volunteer to keep you safe. Right now somebody is dying overseas so that you can complain about stuff.

[B]

So we could sit and do.

[A]

This makes me furious. So.

[B]

So real quick, I. Then my generation comes along, and I'm like, I want to be a clown. And these men are like, what the are you talking about?

[A]

You.

[B]

When you decided to go into music, was mom supportive of that? Or was she worried? Or did she want you to have an education?

[A]

Jews make deals.

[B]

Okay, let's hear it. Let's hear the deal mom made with you.

[A]

By the way, do you have cash on you?

[B]

I don't now.

[A]

Well, some.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Would you give me two tens for a five?

[B]

No, that's good.

[A]

Because most people start doing that, the audience are going, two tens for a five. That doesn't matter. They're just used to the pattern.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What was your question?

[B]

My question? Was mom supportive when you said, hey, I know you come from this. We may want to go.

[A]

We made a deal. She, in essence, said wonderful in her Hungarian accent. But if it's no good, if you can't make money, it's like, what's your fallback position? And that's a valid question. It is, because a lot of the entertainment industry, comedians, actors, I don't know, you throw caution to the wind, and that's the only thing you do because it's your passion. I mean, that's fine. But pragmatism isn't just a big word like gymnasium. It means you will win if you have a fallback position. So I made a deal with my mother. I'm going to get a degree. I paid for my own college. I took out a bank loan and paid it off myself and got a teaching Degree Bachelor of Arts in Education so I could teach sixth grade. But before then I was the assistant to the director of the Puerto Rican Interagency Council, a government funded research and demonstration project. I was the assistant to the editor of Vogue magazine. Did a lot of stuff and amassed. In the days when $23,000 was a lot of money, by the time I was 23, I saved $23,000 after tax. So that was a lot in those days. Today it would be 10 times. So 250, you know, like that means you'd have to earn 500,000 to serve 250 at the highest tax rate. At any rate, people are going, what? What is he talking about? You better learn this because they don't teach it in school.

[B]

They sure don't.

[A]

You don't learn. That's why I've written business books. I wrote Me Inc. Power and a few other books about business. Which is you don't learn what capitalism is. You don't learn in school. What are taxes? Should I get married? What's the cost of marriage when the statistics tell us you will get divorced? That's what it says. And then when or if that happens, how much do you have to pay? Well, the person you just met, usually male, heterosexual cis man, I fucking hate that CIS shit. Don't, please don't. When I was growing up, sissy wasn't the word but straight men who marry straight women. If you get divorced, you're going to pay somebody you just met half fifth weight even before you pay tax. You're going to pay this bitch 50% gross pre tax dollars. If your mother took you to court, she just wants 1% because I gave you life, she'd be thrown out of court. That's your mother who raised you and gave you life, but somebody you just met and spent a few years with. You know this is not working. Thanks very much. She will take half of the best. I've said this before and it's not a judgment call. I don't say this because you're a good person or a bad person. Just a statement of fact. The smartest job in western culture on the face of the planet in western culture is to be a woman. Whether you're straight or not, get married and divorced as many times as before, you drop dead. Because every time you get divorced they're non cross collateralized. You can continue to take half 50% before they pay tax, before the government takes their 50%, you can take all that money right in your pocket.

[B]

Beside no idea it was like that. I Didn't know you could keep doing that. But I also laid that out, you know.

[A]

You know why men die younger than women?

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because they want to. I'm just. It's a joke. It's a joke. You have to have a joke. These are just jokes. Don't get upset.

[B]

It is a horrible business proposal. If you laid it out statistically like that, the majority of people would be like this.

[A]

I figured out a long time ago with Shannon, who I've married twice. I worship the ground she walks on. And I will marry her again because she's a better human being than I will ever be. She really is smarter in ways that you don't learn in school. But I learned a long time ago it works better if I wake up in the morning and I say the first words are, I'm sorry. And then the rest, it just gets better. No matter. It's raining. Whatever. My fault.

[B]

So when does mom realize? Okay, he did it. He went after this thing and he did it. What was the moment? Not for you, but for her.

[A]

Well, I started teaching sixth grade in Spanish Harlem. But within six months, the band took off. We recorded a record. And so I got my degree. I actually started teaching. My mother saw that I had the fallback position. And by the way, I saved all the money because I lived at home. That's how you know Jesus was Jewish. He lived with his mother until he was 33 years old. He actually believed his mother was a virgin.

[B]

Yeah, he's the only one.

[A]

And she thought he was God. And then he went into his father's business. That's a kike. These are jokes, but true, by the way. So the band took off. And within a year and a half, before mtv, before even cell. No cell phones, it was still Superman. When he wants to become Superman, we're going to this little cubicle on the street. Kids have no idea what a phone booth. What do you mean?

[B]

Right about that Rotary things.

[A]

And you got to put. And of course, while he's changing clothes to be Superman. Nobody can see that these days.

[B]

No. Superman wouldn't have a place to change. Didn't even think of that.

[A]

Depends if it's a they them or a he should. By the way, the sad part about they them, which I fully support, I go on record all the time. I don't care how you define yourself, is if you go to certain parts of the Middle east and if you define yourself as they them, you're going to be was, were sad but true. They don't care about your definition. They Will kill you. Don't go there. I don't care what your political persuasion is. But you can go to Israel. They won't be whatever you are. I win.

[B]

So when mom realizes.

[A]

So within a year and a half of starting, we're headlining Anaheim Stadium in California. Above that, fast. Fans that had been around for a long time started playing stadiums by 75, 76, and then by 1977, 78 and 79. There used to be a thing called the Gallup Poll. And they would randomly go across the country. What's your favorite food? What's your favorite this? And for three years in a row, Kiss was the number one band in the world per people. Two was either Zeppelin or the Beatles depending on. Then it was the Bee Gees and all the other bands. Three years in a row we were making. I don't know how to say this without sounding like I'm self aggrandizing. We were making so much money so fast. In the days when bands would just make money off of ticket sales and T shirts. We had 24 hour warehouses in the Valley because inside the albums we'd have order forms you could stick in your 5, 10, or $15. Before, people used to open up your mail and click off the color pictures of the T shirt or the thing you wanted. Put cash in and they would come in. So 24 hours a day. We had a staff in the Valley that would fulfill these things. Like before there was Amazon. We were doing that.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. And we had. We did our own market research. We love our fans. Just wanted to get to know you more. Where do you live? In a city or the country? Urban, suburban. Are you male? Female? In the days when people used to ask are you male? Female. Now there's a host of different life forms and good luck to you. You're all going to die anyway. So while you're traveling, figure out what makes you happy. I'm totally for it. Just don't put it in my fucking face.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

Keep your but. Laissez faire. I fully support anybody with any lifestyle. Don't bring it into my house.

[B]

Live and be well. Far the fuck away from me. Yeah.

[A]

And I won't bring my shit.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Into your house. House. It's so simple. Good fences make good neighbors. So we wanted to know who they were, how old, male, female, and all this kind of. And we Learned things about 60% male, 40% female. Surprisingly.

[B]

Me too. I'm surprised by that.

[A]

In that area. Yeah. And that the most important magazine was Sports Illustrated, which we didn't know. Yeah. Ask the people. They will tell you. What else.

[B]

For me? What else? I want to ask you. Were you able to have conversations with your mom about finally passing, or was it a sudden thing? I was.

[A]

I was with her till the very end. I held her hand and I sang the Hungarian songs that she used to sing to me when I was a kid. It's a Hungarian song about trying to make Hungarian women feel more beautiful because they had dark eyes. Because they're remnants of the Mongols. Did you know that? Yeah. The Hungarians, they were four different types of Attila, the Hun. Hun, Hungarian. There were the Mongols, the Huns, the Tatars, and the one other. And when they came to Europe, rape and pillage was a Mongol idea. They killed everything in front, killed all the males, kept the females so they could wash and make children, and burned everything in back of them so that the people that they conquered couldn't rebuild. They burned the crops, killed all the male children, took the females. That's what Hitler wound up copying. The Mongol invasion process. Rape and pillage. So.

[B]

So you sang to her.

[A]

Sorry?

[B]

You sang to her. You were singing to her.

[A]

And women. She is beautiful. Who has. She who has blue eyes is beautiful. She who has blue eyes is beautiful. She who has blue eyes is beautiful. She who has dark eyes, you know, her black eyes is beautiful. Because Hungarian women, so that you. So the way you sang it is also, you know, they would all scream that and pick up the women, you know, and just kind of go, yeah, but. And she used to sing me von nec emezelet ostoche logom. There is. I have one life, and I see the one star in the heavens, sort of, that has your name on it. And I wish I could reach that star and bring it to you. I don't know how else to translate that, but, you know, she, like all mothers, you wish the best for your child. Oh, she was an amazing. If there's a good side to me, it's her. It's all my mother. I love hearing that all mothers just get a raw deal. Without mothers would be killing and fucking each other. Or worse. Yeah, it's mothers who are the cornerstone of civilization. Which is why I don't understand how maybe there's some truth. The guys that raise their hand towards women. I'm guessing it's not scientific evidence that I have, but maybe there is. Some must have been treated badly as children, because if you had a loving mother who was there nurtured. I mean, there is nurture at nature. But if you had nurture throughout your life. How could you raise your hand at another female who's going to be the mother of another child? How would you do that?

[B]

This has been a great episode. I can't thank you enough for coming on. And five bucks I got you, don't worry. One question I'd like to ask to wrap up advice you'd give to 16 year old gene Simmons. Curious what you would tell that kid.

[A]

To myself at 16, you know, I have to say I wouldn't change a thing because I remember having the mindset of not having a father figure around. And my mother was always working at a sweat factory. No minimum wage, no nothing. Six days a week and 7am till 7pm that's great. At 12 I used to go in the summer months when I didn't go to school because you had summer vacation. I'd take the hot 100 degree subways with my mother at the crack of dawn to go into the sweat factory which was a fire trap. These old wooden places in the backwoods of Brooklyn where nobody cared about, like in ghettos, black ghetto American, African American ghettos, and this old fire trap. And there'd be Jews in there making winter coats and things like that, trying to etch a living. My mother used to make half a penny per button of winter coats. So you'd have to take a winter coat off the rack and then line up the buttonholes on the desk with a white pencil and put a marker and then put the button into the sewing machine and sew on the button into each of those things half a penny and then reconnect the things and then hang it up on the other side. So if it had six buttons, you make six. I'm sorry, three cents after all that stuff?

[B]

Yeah, I love it.

[A]

And so she taught me the value of money. It's interesting, different cultures think of money in different ways. If you're not Jewish, per Benjamin Franklin, a penny saved is a penny earned, by the way. Now a penny saved is two pennies earned.

[B]

Yeah, you damn right.

[A]

That was before tax, taxes, federal included. So if you're not Jewish, it's called, people say, oh, you're frugal if you're Jewish. If you're Jewish, you're cheap.

[B]

I just taught my daughter frugal the other day and now I'm going to tell her that. I'm going to tell her that when.

[A]

Somebody says I'm cheap, I say, thank you, I'm smart. I'll see you at the end. And revenge for all the people that had Something to say about you and about you. Best revenge is to have them work for you. That's the best revenge. Keep your nose right on the grindstone. Work hard. Work harder than your next door neighbor. Amass your fortune, whatever that is. And living well is the best revenge. I have met the athletic jock in school who was more popular in school, who had some chicks. Of course, when he wouldn't look, I'd climb on them anyway. But they all pick. They don't look to the future. It's like right here, right now. I never thought about right here, right now. What am I going to do later? I've got my finances in such order that the next two to three generations are taken care of.

[B]

You sure? Because I always feel like there's just one crackhead that could come in there and fuck it all up for everybody.

[A]

No, that's why you have to diversify.

[B]

For the crackhead that's gonna come in.

[A]

There are wars and you know. So I'm in crypto. Real estate, stocks, bonds, futures, commodities.

[B]

All right. I can't thank you enough for doing this. Any. Anything you'd like to promote. One more time to wrap up.

[A]

I have one Jewish joke.

[B]

Let's hear it.

[A]

What's 12 inches in Jewish what? Nothing. The other. The other answer. The other answer is me.

[B]

Thank you for doing this, brother. I can't thank you enough.

[A]

You're doing the right thing. Ask your doctor and he'll tell you. Never shake anybody's hand again, ever.

[B]

I've been so much. I do my meet and greets or see people on the road. I've started fist bumping. I've been sick barely ever.

[A]

Me too. That's right. I don't get sick. Especially in the time of COVID or blah blah, blah.

[B]

For sure. That's when I really started.

[A]

Before they meet you, they're scratching their ass and all that. By the way, Middle Easterners, Arabs more would have two different philosophy. If you went into an Arab household, you went into a kid, say, hey, how are you? Nice to see you. With the left hand you would be cursed, possibly violent. Because with your left hand you wipe your ass. That's the unclean hand. The right hand is for eating before forks and knives. We still have that philosophy. You're a southpaw, like bestiality. If you're a left handed thing, that's considered evil. Right? You're on the right side of the law. That's your right hand. Yeah. Right is still right. Makes right. Right isn't just your right hand. It means Justice. Right, left. That's a left handed compliment. Yeah, you learn stuff.

[B]

I learned more on this episode than I ever did in any social studies class or history class.

[A]

Where does, where does the Southern twang and y' all come from?

[B]

I'm from Baltimore, from Maryland.

[A]

Well, that's not a y' all town.

[B]

It's a bit of a y' all town. It really is. It's officially below the Mason Dixon line. One of the few states, three or four, that fought both sides.

[A]

Both sides, that's right. Even though you didn't have north and South. True.

[B]

But you've got. You've got that little Harper's Ferry pocket that touches West Virginia.

[A]

Virginia. But that's not where they them go. The Harpers.

[B]

They them.

[A]

By the way, it bears noting that through all the wars that America's fought, we lost more Americans because both north and south are Americans fighting and killing each other.

[B]

Yeah. I learned that going to Gettysburg. We have to take field trips to Gettysburg. And we learned that more people in the Civil War were killed because we're fighting each other than all the other ones, I think, combined.

[A]

Insane.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Should have jewels in there. So you can make a deal. You gotta make a deal.

[B]

Finance us out of that.

[A]

Mason Dixon line was with those two guys because Lincoln really wanted to push the idea of, you know, African American. They've been here, they've been slaves. That's not really the right thing. It almost made it into the Constitution with the Founding Fathers, except they were all rich because they had slaves. So morally they thought it's not a good idea. But maybe we shouldn't write it in because that's where they made their money. Finally, Lincoln came public and said, you got to do that. But the north was industrialized already. The south was not industrialized. It was all farming. In fact, England sent boats to prevent the north from getting into the South. Did you know that?

[B]

I did not know that.

[A]

That's why. Yes, they blockaded it because they wanted the cotton, the cotton that came from there. And the only reason the north won is because they could push 50,000 troops one way or the other. Because they had railroads in the south they didn't have. So you could move troops really fast. If you were in my class, you'd be.

[B]

Teacher.

[A]

Mr. Sim. Why do I have a school?

[B]

Mr. Gene or Mr. Simmons, would you go?

[A]

Oh, you weren't Mr. Klein.

[B]

Mr. Klein, then. Mr. Klein. Yeah.

[A]

By the way, the south still has a stick up their ass about the war.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The south shall rise.

[B]

Yeah. I Know, they still really.

[A]

Yankees are still upset about it.

[B]

They really are upset about it.

[A]

Yeah, but you started it.

[B]

They still got a shot, though. They still think.

[A]

Yeah, it's such a. And. And middle America is a decidedly. Continues to be a different country than north or South. You would never put on a cowboy hat. Some of my closest friend, Nashville and so on. They espouse a kind of a cultural thing. How you dress, how you talk. Meanwhile, you ain't gonna do nothing like that thing. And will not acquiesce to the Mid Atlantic. You know that sound. Although it bears noting if you go to Mississippi or Alabama, what do you do now? How y' all doing?

[B]

When anyone says I sound Southern, I'm like, that's because you've never been there.

[A]

No, that. You've never been there. Some parts of Texas. I know President Bush. He knows. He says nuclear. Wrong. He knows. He says nuclear.

[B]

Nuclear.

[A]

He can't stop. But when you watch the news and you listen to them talk, they speak like this. There ain't no Billy, Professor Bill Bob saying, you know, I was going to do about Shakespeare. Nope.

[B]

There's some weathermen. They slip in with that kind of shit. The clown.

[A]

Because that's what I want to do is talk politics with a weatherman. Anyway, I just want to say it was a pleasure to talk to me.

[B]

Thank you. It really was a pleasure to talk to you.

[A]

This is a very good thing out here.

[B]

You like that? You gave Princess some. I never give her human food. But after you scolded her and taught her what the hierarchy was, I was like, she can.

[A]

It wasn't even scolding. It was their language. Because if. If a dog, Smaller dog, goes into and tries to eat a little bit from the bigger dog's bowl, what happens?

[B]

That dog. Yeah.

[A]

The bigger dog. Just one time or bites at one time. And from then on, they get along great. They go, oh, okay, I have to be back. They just want to know what the rules are, which is in the beginning, why there's chaos. That includes your girlfriend. One of you has got to wear the pants. If you're okay with her, then just wake up in the morning and say, I'm sorry.

[B]

I'm sorry. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week.

[A]

Sam.