The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler
Episode 358: David Koechner – I Hope I Like Me
Release Date: November 3, 2025
Guest: David Koechner
Theme: Laughing at Life’s Lowlights, Addiction, Family, and Redemption
Episode Overview
In this deeply candid and humorous episode, comedian and actor David Koechner joins Ryan Sickler to revisit the lowest points in his life and career. The conversation dives into Koechner’s rural upbringing, Catholic roots, struggles with alcoholism, career highs and lows—including his season on Saturday Night Live—and his ongoing journey through sobriety and family dynamics. The episode is both raw and uplifting, mixing hard truths with signature wit as Koechner shares how he is finally, after decades, meeting himself—and hopes he likes what he finds.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Rooted in Small Town, Catholic Upbringing
- Growing Up in Tipton, Missouri:
- Koechner describes his small-town life, being the third of six kids in a “modest Catholic grade school” and “public high school… not a curious place, not a lot of vigorous exchange of ideas.” (15:00)
- His parents came from large Irish Catholic families (“My mother was one of 11. Out of those 11, there are two priests and two nuns.” [10:21])
- Family legacy of hard work: Koechner started working at his father’s livestock trailer factory at age 7. (13:00)
“I’ve never drawn an unemployment check in my life.” – Koechner [14:45]
2. Early Independence and Comedy Dreams
- From a young age, Koechner felt different:
- “I have a very distinct memory. When I was 10 years old, I walked around the west side of my house by myself… ‘Yeah, I gotta go. I gotta live in a city.’” [16:53]
- At 13, he was certain he’d get on Saturday Night Live, even watching it behind his devout parents’ backs.
“I just had a belief I want to do that.” [17:44]
3. Family Dynamics and Unmet Needs
- Koechner was honest about being an imperfect brother:
“No, I was not a kind brother. I wasn’t getting my needs met at home... my sister forgave me.” [18:59]
- The pressure and expectations of a big, religious family contributed to his pain—and later, to rebellion and self-discovery.
4. Rejecting the Family “Software”: Catholicism
- Koechner relates how he grew disillusioned with the church:
“The software they run and put into me was Catholicism. Like that’s a very narrow software… This all culminates in a rejection of Catholicism and the church…” [19:24]
- Both Sickler and Koechner discuss their complex relationships with faith.
“The Catholic church is the reason I turned against… watching what those people have done to children...” – Sickler [20:05]
- Critique of organized religion’s gender inequalities.
“All of them, women are second-class citizens. Why would you participate in that?” – Koechner [20:54]
5. Comedy as a Path and Chicago’s Impact
- Koechner outlines his move from Missouri to Chicago after college, immersing in Improv Olympic (iO) and Second City.
“I was in class or on stage five days a week… Gladwell’s 10,000 hours. You put the time in.” [23:24]
- He describes the remarkable generation of comedians there—Colbert, Carell, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and more.
“You don’t know your worker, the best. Farley and I started the same day.” [24:34]
- SNL: Landed the show with one season (1995-96) after a unique, improvised audition [26:56]:
“I improvised the audition.” – Koechner [26:55]
6. The Highs & Lows of Saturday Night Live
- SNL’s internal politics and cutthroat environment; Koechner feels his own personality may have led to conflict.
“You don’t suffer fools gladly... if I don’t like you, you’re gonna know it.” [29:01]
- Despite a successful season, behind-the-scenes drama led to his exit.
“I got an exit interview with Lorne. Nobody does. I did.” [36:29] “Dave, you’re an artist. Don’t change that.” – Lorne Michaels [36:35]
7. Alcoholism: Origins, Consequences, and Recovery
- Started drinking at age 10 (!), “drunk in eighth grade.” [37:20]
- Family history runs deep:
“Oh, yeah. My mom was alcoholic... Dad was too, but dad had pancreatitis and had to quit at 50.” [52:48]
- Lifetime of heavy drinking, escalating through personal stresses, marriage, and showbiz pressures.
- Two DUIs in six months (2022), even after periods of sobriety.
“Is that out before you’re even out of jail? … Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.” [49:03]
- Rehab attempts and why programs failed:
“Rehab doesn’t work... If you don’t get into AA, if you don’t get in the program, there’s no way.” [41:14]
- Koechner details taking Antabuse (disulfiram) with the support of his close friend, which causes violent illness if he drinks:
“If I drink, I’ll violently throw up… So I take my pill... and I don’t think about alcohol because I can’t have it.” [41:52, 43:41] “You don’t wake up and ever think about stealing a car?... That’s the same with booze.” [43:54]
- Ongoing struggle with “scheming and bargaining”—a hallmark of addiction.
“Constant. When you’re an alcoholic, that’s all you’re doing all day long, scheming and bargaining.” [42:23]
- The conversation turns to practical, sometimes darkly funny strategies and denial:
“He would keep peanut butter in the car. Yeah, that’s true, huh… And he got a priest costume… drive home with the pre-” [60:15]
“That’s a dedicated alcoholic.” – Koechner [61:15]
8. Family, Fatherhood, and Guilt
- Five children—via IVF and a complicated marriage.
“We had 11 embryos... all created on the same day.” [40:33]
- Honest regret at the impact of drinking on his kids and vows to intervene if his children ever show signs of serious addiction.
“You will not be an alcoholic… or an addict on my watch.” [56:53]
- The most important part of recovery:
“My sponsor said, Dave, when you get through this, you’re finally going to meet yourself. You know what I told him? I hope I like me.” [61:50]
9. Sobriety & Moving Forward
- Nearly a year sober, learning to replace alcohol with healthier behaviors (initial struggle with sugar).
- Gratitude for support system—friend Wes who keeps him accountable on Antabuse.
- Guidance to others:
“You gotta quit. When you gotta quit, you know it. Quit. It’s okay. You don’t think—and that’s why they say one day at a time, because you can’t quit forever. You gotta get through the next 90 seconds, I swear to God.” [53:46]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On childhood ambition:
“When I was 13, I knew I was going to be on Saturday Night Live. I know that sounds egotistical and arrogant, it’s not. I just had a belief I want to do that.” – Koechner [17:33]
-
On small-town life:
“It’s not a curious place. There’s not a lot of vigorous exchange of ideas.” – Koechner [14:45]
-
On addiction’s legacy:
“My sponsor said, ‘Dave, you’re a hardcore alcoholic.’” – Koechner [59:38]
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On generational denial:
“That’s… you don’t talk about your shame in Catholicism.” – Koechner [53:30]
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On why he finally quit:
“‘My sponsor said, Dave, when you get through this, you’re finally going to meet yourself. You know what I told him? I hope I like me.’” – Koechner [61:50]
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On advice to his younger self:
“Don’t drink at all. At all. Don’t drink, David Koechner, because you can’t do it.” – Koechner [63:00]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Intro & Guest Background: [03:25–05:31]
- On his upbringing and Catholic roots: [09:22–15:20]
- Deciding to leave Tipton, early comedic inspiration: [16:43–18:45]
- SNL Auditions and Chicago Improv Boom: [23:19–26:41]
- Inside Saturday Night Live: [26:53–30:38]
- First drink at age 10, escalation into alcoholism: [37:10–39:09]
- DUIs, family’s drinking, steps towards sobriety: [42:01–49:01]
- Addiction, accountability, and lasting change: [43:00–44:28, 45:56–46:39]
- Difficult conversations with and about family: [56:29–57:28]
- Closing advice & final thoughts: [62:54–63:09]
Tone and Highlights
Ryan Sickler’s empathetic, open approach gives Koechner the space to be funny, self-critical, and deeply honest, often within the same story. The tone is grounded but buoyed by the comedians’ humor, even when discussing pain and regret. Koechner doesn’t sugarcoat his failings, but also doesn’t wallow—his focus is on growth, self-acceptance, and being truly present for his family going forward.
If you haven’t listened: Expect a blend of painful truth and laugh-out-loud moments, a rare window into the mind of a working comic who has stumbled, gotten up, and is still sorting out the meaning—and joy—of everyday life.