360: Brandon Novak - $80 Worth of Drywall

Summary

---

The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler

Episode 360: Brandon Novak – $80 Worth of Drywall
Release Date: November 17, 2025
Guest: Brandon Novak

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The HoneyDew dives deep into the lows and eventual highs of Brandon Novak’s life—the skater, Jackass/Viva La Bam cast member, published author, and recovering addict. Novak and host Ryan Sickler share their mutual Baltimore roots and bond over stories of addiction, dysfunctional families, survival, and redemption, with hard-hitting honesty and signature dark humor. The conversation revolves around Novak’s tumultuous upbringing, meteoric skateboarding career, harrowing drug addiction, time on the streets and in prison, and, ultimately, finding purpose through recovery and helping others.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Life and Family Chaos

• Family Background
  • Born in Kingsville, Maryland, later moved to Parkville.
  • Father: Never had a legitimate job, ran with the Hell’s Angels, engaged in various criminal hustles.
  • Mother: Went from drawing blood door-to-door for $5 to becoming a nuclear physicist at Mercy Hospital.
  • Siblings: Half-brother (now an attorney in the White House), half-sister (works at Mercy).
• Parental Instability
  • Father gave Novak a machete for his 6th birthday (“...to keep in the freezer.” – Novak, 07:10).
  • Violent, erratic, and often absent. Brandon describes frequent moves: “We migrated to Parkville... felt like we were going on a pilgrimage to God knows where.” (04:18)
  • Eventually, Novak, his mother, and siblings fled his father, who responded by sitting at the door with a baseball bat as they packed.

2. Baltimore Roots & Crime

• Colorful Baltimore City Stories
  • Grandfather owned the produce market featured in "The Wire," last episode ("That was in what used to be my grandparents’ produce market." – Novak, 09:02).
  • Anecdotes of the local drug trade, embezzlement, and neighborhood lore (“You hang on the corner of Eastern Avenue and Patterson Park with the other young boys...selling my ass, letting men blow me.” – Novak, 47:07).

3. Escape and Skateboarding Success

• Skateboarding as Salvation
  • Became close with skate legend Bucky Lasek, who helped advance Novak’s career.
  • Novak’s mom placed newspaper ads looking for rides so Brandon could skate after school.
  • Skating provided confidence and "did for me what drugs and alcohol did for me later" (31:55).
• Brush with Fame
  • Sponsored by Pal Peralta; entered the scene with future icons like Bam Margera.

4. Descent into Addiction

• Exposure and Onset
  • Genetic predisposition: “My father was an addict, and his father was an addict.” (24:05)
  • Early exposure: Taken to strip clubs by his father; normalized criminality and addiction young.
  • First party drink at 16/17 lit the fuse, despite earlier resistance:

    “Skateboarding did for me at a young age what drugs and alcohol did for me later...” (31:55)

• Rapid Progression
  • Alcohol, then Xanax, then cocaine, then heroin.
  • Bucky eventually told Bam Margera at a skate event that Novak was “on heroin,” marking the start of Novak's time “homeless in Baltimore, shooting heroin.” (37:27)
• Loss and Isolation
  • Estrangement from family; living in abandoned houses.
  • “Everyone loved him—except his family. Straight up.” (15:17, about his father.)

5. Living on the Edge: Crime, Survival, and Deepest Lowlights

• Crime & Survival
  • Worked odd gigs, hustled, scammed via charm (like his father).
  • Frequented dangerous spots (Lexington Market, abandoned houses).
• Sex Work for Drugs
  • Describes reaching the point of selling his body for cash to buy drugs:

    “The young boys would hang there… I used to make fun of those boys, and one day, I was them.” (54:32)
    “I let a man blow me for a hundred bucks, bought $80 worth of dope and coke, and it turned out to be drywall and sugar.” (58:46)

  • Memorable story: Trading a stolen iron table for a night of sex work and defective drugs (53:12–64:23).
• Scams and Hustles
  • “You get drywall from any abandoned house, crush it up in a gel cap, and sell it as dope.” (63:02)

Notable Quote (on being conned after rock bottom sex work):

“I let a man blow me. I’ve come in a stranger’s mouth, swallowed a quarter of drywall, and still ended up sick.” — Novak (64:23)

6. Jackass, Viva La Bam, and Addiction on Air

• Career on TV
  • Novak became a regular on Jackass and Viva La Bam, often high.
  • Bam’s rule was no opiates, but alcohol/cocaine were tolerated, which led Novak to do outrageous stunts for attention and pain meds.
  • “I was the guy that did whatever, whenever, with whoever, and it really didn’t matter to me.” (68:41)
• Legal Trouble and Incarceration
  • Caught trying to fill a fraudulent prescription; arrested during Jackass filming after a stunt, sent to prison (70:28–72:00).
  • Smuggled drugs into jail via cigarette wrappers in his rectum; caught after boasting on live radio (73:37).
  • “My very best thinking has me in a weird basement with some weird boy handing me used women's clothing and shoes, and I'm grateful.” (94:58)

7. Rock Bottom & First Steps Toward Recovery

• Family Cuts Ties
  • Issued a restraining order by his mother, lost all possessions, and carried them in a single bag ("...all I owned was eight scarves, two jackets, three socks, deodorant, needle, spoon, and a restraining order and a passport.” – 85:06)
  • Mother bought him a burial plot, expecting he'd die of addiction ("If anyone out there wants to buy a plot...I'll donate the money to charity. Mark my words." – 82:26)
• Divine Intervention
  • On the way to visit a woman (who’d read his book and offered an all-expenses-paid trip with drugs and sex), he was robbed – left with his genitals exposed and one shoe.
  • Denied boarding at BWI airport by a TSA agent who said, "You will not fly for three days" (88:00); considers it a higher power intervening.
  • Contacted a former sponsor and finally checked into rehab for $2:

    “God showed up in the form of a TSA agent and did for me what I was incapable of doing for myself, which was deny me access to my demise.” (90:49)

  • Emotional turning point putting on donated women's clothing in a rehab basement:

    “At that moment, I realized what I do know is that I don’t have a clue.” (94:54)
    “That’s when I met the God of my understanding face to face, as a result of that gift of desperation.” (96:24)

8. The Long Road Back: Recovery & Purpose

• Rebuilding Life
  • Stayed 90 days in treatment, followed by a sober living house.
  • Made amends with family, paid debts, and reconnected with those he'd wronged.
  • Heartfelt moment with mother:

    "She called me and said, Brandon, I hate when you come to visit, because I get so sad when you leave." (98:46)

• Current Mission
  • Now runs seven sober living houses and two treatment centers (“Refuse to let price be a deterrent as to why someone can’t receive adequate care.” – 99:56)
  • Urges anyone struggling to call him directly (610-314-6747).
  • Deeply spiritual outlook: "My pain became my purpose." (96:24)
• Closing Wisdom
  • Would not give his 16-year-old self any advice:

    “I wouldn’t change my narrative or my script in the least bit because I believe that I’m blessed.” (100:49)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On family and cycles:

  “My father was an addict, and his father was an addict... And I got that bad boy.” (24:05)

• On hitting rock bottom (after sex work and being conned):

  "I've come in a stranger's mouth, swallowed a quarter of drywall, and still ended up sick." (64:23)

• On faith and gratitude in recovery:

  “At that moment, I realized what I do know is that I don’t have a clue… my very best thinking has me in a weird basement with some weird boy as he’s giving me clothes and I’m grateful.” (94:54)

• Mother's acceptance and healing:

  “Brandon, I hate when you come back to visit, because I get so sad when you leave.” (98:46)

• Reflecting on recovery:

  "My pain became my purpose." (96:24)

---

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Baltimore/Familial Backstory: 06:12–15:33
• Bizarre Upbringing & Family Dynamics: 06:29, 07:10, 12:07
• Skateboarding World & Early Success: 21:18, 22:29–23:39
• First Exposure to Drugs: 24:02–31:47
• Addiction Deepens / Power of Addiction: 33:49, 34:19, 36:06, 37:20
• Sex Work & Hustling for Drugs: 53:12–64:23 (the “$80 drywall” story)
• Jackass, TV career & Addiction World: 65:45–68:41
• Legal Trouble & Jail Life: 70:28–77:52 (smuggling drugs, retaliation from guards)
• Absolute Bottom, Family Cutoff & Divine Intervention: 81:51–94:58
• Turning Point: Recovery & Redemption: 94:58–99:56
• Advice to Younger Self & Life Philosophy: 100:49–101:42
• Resources for Help: 101:51 (Brandon’s treatment centers/direct line)

---

Tone & Style

Ryan and Brandon use dark humor and streetwise bluntness to draw out the bleak details, but the tone throughout is honest, warm, and hopeful. Novak is open about shame and pain, yet speaks with humility and gratitude about his second chance and commitment to helping others.

---

Resources/Where to Find Brandon Novak

• Website: brandonnovak.com
• Instagram: @brandon__novak
• Books:
  • Dreamseller
  • The Streets of Baltimore
  • Addiction: A Graphic Novel
• Treatment Centers: Redemption Addiction Treatment Center (Wilmington, DE & Pennsville, NJ)
• Direct Line for Help: 610-314-6747

---

This episode is a powerful listen for anyone touched by addiction, seeking gritty redemption stories, or simply fans of raw, real-life storytelling with a Baltimore twist. Brandon Novak brings laughter, shock, and ultimately hope.

Transcript

[A]

VRBO Last minute deals make chasing fresh mountain powder incredibly easy. With thousands of homes close to the slopes, you can easily get epic pow freshies, first tracks and more. No need for months of planning. In fact, you can't even plan. Pow Pow is on its own schedule. Thankfully somewhere in the world it's always snowing. All you have to do is use the last minute filter on the app to book a last minute deal on a sloped site. Private rental home book [e-mail] this holiday deck their countertops with peppermint white chocolate mochas, gingerbread lattes and pumpkin cream cold brews. Ninja Luxe Cafe is the ultimate gift. It's the number one best selling espresso machine in the us. Perfect for the coffee lovers in your life.

[B]

If they can dream it, they can brew it.

[A]

No skills needed. Espresso balanced drip coffee rich cold brew in a flash. Hands free silky microfoam, dairy or plant based milks bring joy into their holiday and every day after with Ninja Luxe Cafe. Shop now. When tragedy strikes, don't trust just anyone. Call your local appliance experts at Fred's Appliance. Right now all LG appliances are on sale. Save big on ranges, dishwashers and laundry sets. Shop smart appliances like the LG fridge on sale for $17.99. When you shop locally at Fred's Appliance, you save big. Earn up to $1,300 in exclusive rebates. When you buy more, we have in.

[B]

Stock get it today inventory so you.

[A]

Can get your holiday plan back on track.

[B]

We sell appliances only. Appl what's up guys? I just want to say thank you very much for all the support on the special. Right now it's over 200000 views and that includes being almost killed for a day by YouTube. All right? So please, if you haven't watched it, go watch it. Go like it, go comment on it. And if you have watched it, watch it again and share it. I'd love for everybody to share it with three to five people you love. Do that for the holidays. Give them the gift of comedy. Share it, like it, comment all that good stuff. Go watch it live and alive Streaming now on my YouTube. What's up guys? The holidays are coming and I'm gonna be straight up with you. I'm just trying to get rid of the merch I have. We got quite a bit of merch left and I just want to get rid of it and I want to get rid of it for you guys. All right, so here's what we got going on. There is a huge talking about fire sale, y'. All. Huge fire sale in the merch store. On my [e-mail] we're. We've got $10 tees and hats, $20 hoodies and pants. You got stickers in there. But listen, here's the thing. Just order. Because trust me, every order comes with a free gift. And any apparel purchase comes with two free gifts. All right? That's a chance to get a lot of gifts, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

All right, so go over to the merch shop right now. Get your $10 hoodies, night pants. They're. I don't think there's anything more than $20 over there, honestly, in the whole entire store. So go get your stuff now. Ryan Sickler dot com.

[A]

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler.

[B]

Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'. All. We're over here doing it in the night Pan Studios. I am Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Ryan sickler.com starting this one like I start them all by saying thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all your love and support on my new special. If you haven't watched it yet, go watch it. Thank you so much and thank you for supporting anything I do. I don't care what it is. Thank you. I love my job and it's because of you. I appreciate you guys. You know what we do here? We highlight the lowlights. I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest here with us. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brandon Novak. Welcome to the Honeydew.

[A]

Brandon Novak, you're far too kind. I've, I've been anticipating and you might think I'm really up but dreaming of this day for a while. I, I, I know you. You're from Baltimore. And, and that is like, that's my, that's my heart. My heart is there same.

[B]

Thank you, brother. Yeah. I mean, anybody that's a Baltimore guy, like the Turnstile guys, any of them, I love, I just gotta, you know what I mean? It's an extra love. And today's a Saturday. I can't tell you. I think Kirsten's out there, maybe. We've done three episodes in all our years on a Saturday. So if you weren't from Baltimore, I ain't doing today. I swear to God. I was like, where? Jersey? We're good?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I'll pass.

[B]

Welcome here. Thank you. And before we get into anything, right there, promote Everything and anything you'd like?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, the easiest way to find me is my website, brandonnovak.com. if you're out there and you need help, you're struggling with addiction, call me 610-314-6747. That's redemption addiction Treatment center in Delaware in New Jersey. As of last week, my Instagram, Brandon double underscore Novak. Or you can pick up some of my works. Dream seller, the newest to the family, the streets of Baltimore, and the first ever graphic novel. Addiction graphic novel. That is a lot of Lexington Market stories in here.

[B]

Is that right? It's the first ever. What? Say it again.

[A]

Addiction graphic novel.

[B]

Open it up.

[A]

So it's never been done before?

[B]

No one's ever done that.

[A]

No, we had.

[B]

Look at a history right here.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

Good for you, dude. Yeah. Damn.

[A]

In Germany, you know, just. Just crazy stories that didn't fit in the timeline of the book, but we couldn't throw them away. So we're like, let's get it.

[B]

Well done.

[A]

And, you know, where are you on.

[B]

Social and all that?

[A]

Brandon double underscore Novak. Instagram. The other ones. Just type my name in. You'll find it.

[B]

Well, yeah, man. It's been. Been wanting to do this for a.

[A]

While, so we know a lot of same people. We've ran in a lot of the same circles. That's really, really stoked to come here and be. Actually, I stayed in you. You're doing one on Saturday, and I stayed an extra day for this.

[B]

Thank you, brother. Well, I want to get into all your stories. I have family who work at the Addiction Treatment of Maryland and Dundalk. And for sure, I also have some family that have been in those treatments, in and out of those treatment centers.

[A]

I may have been one of those frequented.

[B]

But tell me, where are you from originally? And let's get into mom and dad and siblings real quick. Just a little backstory.

[A]

No doubt. I was born in Kingsville, Maryland.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then we migrated to Parkville.

[B]

I love that it's migrating. It felt that way.

[A]

So, like, I was going on a pilgrimage to God knows where.

[B]

We had an aunt that moved from Highland Town to Rosedale. I mean, it was this far away.

[A]

You know, we going across the country for us. Dude, fuck you. And I came from a pretty wild background. My father never had a job a day in his life. He. He ran with the Hell's Angels.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And he just kind of.

[B]

Maryland is there, like, there was a Maryland chapter of Hell's Angels.

[A]

I didn't know that and, and he taught me one thing and that was if. And when I went to prison, how to cond myself.

[B]

And what was that? What are you learning that we're not?

[A]

Yeah, right. Well, this is the kind of mentality he had at. For my sixth birthday. I'll never forget. I. He gave me a pair of chaps and a machete that I was to keep in the freezer.

[B]

The for why?

[A]

If. I know. But he's also the guy where I came home from school one day and him and all his biker buddies were on the back porch and he said, Brandon, come here. And I walk over and he has this document signed up. My name is Brandon to this point. Brandon Novak. And. And Now I'm around 9ish years old. And I walk out in the back, has me about to sign this document. My mother walks out literally and says Rome, what are you doing? His name, her name was. His name was Jerome. And. And he was about to have me sign to have my name changed from Brandon to Jerome. At 8 years old, he just felt like it was the right time to change my name.

[B]

But also, does Jerome not realize that an eight year old signature doesn't mean. On any legal document.

[A]

That's literally. Yeah, with. With no like recourse.

[B]

Of course the kids gonna do that.

[A]

And he also.

[B]

Wait, is. Is your dad a white dude?

[A]

He was a white named Jerome. So our claim.

[B]

There's not many white Jeromes, bro.

[A]

So if my mother would have walked out a few minutes later, you'd be talking to J. Which I'm not. That being pretty sharp. It's an attention getter for a white guy.

[B]

Hell yeah it is. Yeah, it is.

[A]

My claim to fame with that is my grandfather owned the first open air produce market back in the day in east Baltimore.

[B]

Is that right?

[A]

Started out with Arabs. Had the horses.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Had the fruit, watermelons, oranges, apples. And then they had this little. It transitioned to this little shop to. Later on it was called Novak. And the very last episode of the Wire. Remember when the little kid killed Omar?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

That was in what used to be my grandparents produce market.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Listen man, that scene still resonates with me because not only because he killed Omar, but that kid like stepping outside of it.

[A]

He.

[B]

He should have won a Emmy or something. That the. The little kid shaking and like I believed every bit that that child took him out. And also what a way to go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's Baltimore through and through.

[A]

It is.

[B]

You think the biggest, baddest is gonna get you and this little what, nine Year old. Does you in. In a corner store. Wow.

[A]

Hence the nickname Be more careful. Yep. You know.

[B]

And that's embody more.

[A]

Yeah. Body part of the land.

[B]

So that store and that they shot in is your grandfather.

[A]

Was no vaccine. Then it turned into. Then my father who became a insane crackhead who kind of got power of attorney of my grandparents deal when they were getting older and acted as a caretaker. Ultimately ended up burning their house down. They also owned a house on Harford Road where they sold Christmas trees and produce after they transitioned out of the city.

[B]

Yeah. They go to the can. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Things got better.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

On the greener.

[B]

It's always funny to me when you go back and you ask somebody in Maryland where they're from, they just look at. They don't say a s. They just go here. Yeah. You know. I mean they don't say like Lutherville.

[A]

You know, out here it's all zip code.

[B]

We could talk forever. So real quick, how. How does your father and. Are your mom and dad together at the time? Yes. How does he get to be a Hell's Angel? What? What?

[A]

That's just. So he was in the cars. He was in the cars. He was into racing. He was into that whole just kind of. And that's why I said my father would understand. Total gearheads. Racing cars as a kid. Terrible accident. He had to be cut out and they had to do a skin graft off his back to fix his leg. Just that kind of guy. My mother at the time, she got her first job at Mercy Hospital in Baltimore City.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she was drawing blood for five dollars a pop. So I was raised on five dollar increments because my. My father, whose behavior was like erratic at best and he was around enough to like let us know he wasn't around.

[B]

What's he doing to make a couple bucks though?

[A]

He's growing tons of herb in the bas. That house in Kingsville. We had an acre ranch and ranch style and running coke. A little bit of meth action.

[B]

So no. Nothing. He ain't paying tax. Literally.

[A]

Never had a job. Not even exaggerating. Never had one job in his life. Got a little sue happy throughout his career. So he would sue places and people successfully.

[B]

Would he get enough just.

[A]

Just to get by and then flip.

[B]

And fall over here?

[A]

His favorite person in life was Jerry Sukup who was a lawyer over on Harford Road. To you and I, this makes sense to the viewers. Are like these fucking nut jobs. But. And. And my mother would take me on these blood runs every Morning. She would go to house to house to draw blood.

[B]

Oh. Knock at the hot.

[A]

No. And then she would take those vials to the hospital. Hospital. Give five bucks. Then she got a job with Mercy and then ultimately worked her way up the ladder to become a nuclear physicist on the board of Mercy Hospital.

[B]

Dude, Mercy Hospital. First of all, that's amazing. Yeah. I mean, a nuclear physicist is married to a hel.

[A]

Don't tell me love won't make you do anything.

[B]

I can't find somebody. God damn it, I can't find somebody.

[A]

There's a reason why I'm a 46.

[B]

Year old, like a NASA engineer with a ditch digger. It's crazy.

[A]

There's a reason why I'm a 46 year old single man that lives with three cats in the middle of the woods. Thanks, dad.

[B]

So Mercy also was one. It might be the first hospital ever in. At least in the. In our country, where they did underwater birthing, too.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Supposed to be more natural for a baby to come out because basically, I guess it's going. And look, I'm an ignorant man, but going from, I guess, you know, fluid to fluid or sack to sack. And so underwater. And they would do that. Mercy Hospital, so you can go sit in, like, a tub and they'll deliver.

[A]

Your baby underwater, which people pay big money for to have that done in home birthing or in house birthing or whatever. You see the way they teach kids how to swim? They throw a baby into the deep end.

[B]

When I had a kid, I was watching these videos. I'm like, here's humane. I could do that to your kid.

[A]

If I'm on a flight and there's a kid crying, I take it personal. I'm like, your kids crying at me.

[B]

People are like, how could you do that to a baby? How could you do that to your baby? If I'm the teacher, that ain't my baby. I'm throwing them all in this motherfucker pool. You'll see.

[A]

Everyone's gonna learn a lesson today.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Take you back to my father's way.

[B]

Okay. So mom goes all the way to the. Okay, yeah, it is.

[A]

So she, like, siblings. Yeah. So that gets a little fudgeing crazy. I have a brother who's an attorney in the White House.

[B]

No, come on.

[A]

He does, like, pensions and benefits.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So he took Mom's route.

[A]

He did.

[B]

And do you have any other sister?

[A]

And she works in the Mercy as well.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Doing kind of adjustments and claims and all that. And the scariest thing about this and you'll agree, after this interview is done, is that my mother says that I'm the most sane of all the family for a little bit of context of what we're doing here today. And so we went from Kingsville. And when I say we went, it wasn't voluntarily. It was one night in Kingsville. My mother woke me up and. And. And she had her gay friend come over and we were packing up our belongings to run from my father in the middle of the night. And then he got word that it was happening and he came to the house in Kingsville, sat in a chair next to the door with a baseball bat while we carried our belongings out and we ran to a house on Harford.

[B]

And you hear dad coming. I'm guessing that Harley, you hear that?

[A]

You hear him coming? Right, right. Like my.

[B]

That's not a quiet entrance.

[A]

No, and no. He. He. He made an entrance and. And he was an impressionable guy. Not really, but he ran with those guys and. And he was the life of the party. Everybody loved him. Except his family. Straight up, not even exaggerate. He walked in the bar rooms and he buy the round the house.

[B]

The shots I've ever heard in my life.

[A]

To me, it was the most normal thing I ever said.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And everyone loved him. Except his father. Except his family. So, you know, and he was a great cook.

[B]

So, I mean, you better be.

[A]

He had nothing else to do.

[B]

Yeah. And nobody's loving you. No.

[A]

Yeah. So he would. My mother's out busting her ass. You know, everyone's doing stuff. So he had time and. Yeah. And he also had to, like, right his wrongs. So he would get caught cheating. He would run out on bar bills. He would break the house up. He'd have to make a lot of meals to hopefully get my mother to forgive him.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it's kind of a.

[B]

So Mom. Did mom stay married or did she finally hit a wall where she's like, I gotta go?

[A]

So that was the annoying thing about it. And that's where skateboarding really came into play with me. That raised me is. Is we'd run from that house in Kingsville and we'd move to a little house on Harford Road, then to. To Parkville. And I'd come home from skating. Like, I'd be out with Bucky La. These other Baltimore legends.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, legends.

[A]

And. And. And I'd come home and he'd be in the kitchen making dinner as if nothing happened. And. And you know, and it would infuriate me only to kind of. And then he. He took a permanent residency, basically, at the Pappas right there on. On Taylor Avenue. Pappas Bar and Restaurant.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's. They had great crab cakes. Yeah, they got great crab cakes.

[A]

So he, you know, basically got a residency jig there.

[B]

Yeah, man. Listen, if there's anything I've heard out of the story, I agree with so far, that one right there, I'm like, I'm gonna move over here, too.

[A]

And I. You know, I remember one night my mother waking me up and saying, we have to go get the car. Because he would go to Pappas and he wouldn't come home. And we walk down because we lived right off Taylor Avenue, Dales for. To be exact. And we'd walk. And we walk up to the parking lot and we see the car, and the car is, like, moving. Right. And it's rocking. And we walk up to the car, and it's my father with another woman. And that.

[B]

Your mom's walking up on that with you guys.

[A]

And we. She needs the car to go to work in the morning. Yeah. You know, and. And that was kind of a.

[B]

He needs it to go to work at night.

[A]

The bills have to be paid.

[B]

I guess breakfast is going to be delicious tomorrow.

[A]

And. And that was a reoccurring theme.

[B]

Bucks. And so you actually are seeing that. You're not hearing about that?

[A]

No, I'm seeing it. You know, so. So for. For lack of better words, I'm being groomed into what I'll later become. And it'll work to my advantage and disadvantage, because throughout that, I created a lot of animosity and resentment towards a man that I thought I couldn't stand to ultimately, at the end of my story, make him look like a walk in the park. Right. And then. And then we. We'd run from that. We. My mother sold that house. Ran from him. And then we moved into Hollandtown.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And. And we lived right off Eastern Avenue, right in Patterson Park. And.

[B]

Outside, like my. My Aunt Marguerite, like, my city education is highland town. It's 308South Macon street, right by the train tracks. Right off Eastern Avenue.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And I'll tell you this later, but I said my aunt moved. They were the ones that moved from Rosedale to our Highland Town to Ro. Was. My Aunt Marguerite worked at that Rite Aid on Eastern Avenue.

[A]

Yep. And she.

[B]

And, like, three or four ladies were accused of stealing their money, had been missing. And all they're accused of embezzling. And she's like, I'm not Stealing anything. And they got an attorney, and she. And these three ladies. The attorney's like, listen, I mean, off the record, before we even start, I don't give a shit if you are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But if you're not, then you really haven't something. And she's like, they're forcing us to take a lie detector test. And she said, okay, well, if they're forcing you to do it to keep job, and you're definitely innocent, that's illegal. They can't force you to take it to keep your job. So take it. And when you pass, we got.

[A]

Now we really have it.

[B]

And all four of the ladies passed. They sued, bro. My aunt was the ringleader. This is. This is 80, like, 7 88. Okay. My aunt Marguerite, 308 South Megan, Highlandtown, gets 1.4 million. That's like $20 million. That's like $20,000,000. And the other ladies all get, like, a 1.1. They all get a money. And it turns out the execs were the high execs, were the ones embezzling, trying to blame it on these ladies to get them out. And my aunt figured out something, talked to an attorney, and they got him. Boom. So that's when they were like. They kept the house, though. They were like, we're gonna keep the house and rent it. Because she always said to me, ryan, I'm gonna die at 308 South Macon. And she actually did.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

When all the kids. Because she had her. It's the same shit, man. She had her grandkids living with her because her son's an addiction. They all get out there for the better school. You know, we're only going this far away to overlea. And then when they were finally out of the house, she's like, I'm going, I don't need this house. I'm going back there. And then she. Yeah, she died.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So that's my, like, all running around. There is my city education.

[A]

I love that. And the. The Macon Avenue Queens become millionaires. Yeah, I love that.

[B]

So here, I want to ask you, too, because you talk about skateboarding, and I'm sorry to jump around, but.

[A]

And we probably will throughout this we go to. I grew up skating. 215.

[B]

This one, I want to ask you. So I, I. It was. We were huge soccer players, and there was a place called Sports Elite.

[A]

That I was going to say that when you said on Conklin Avenue. Right across from the pawn shop.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's. That's where I met my little T. Pat Albin The. They sold soccer equipment and skating.

[B]

They sold the best soccer.

[A]

The. The Albanian guy, Pat Alvin, my guy.

[B]

So my cousin would tell me all the time, Time, Ryan. There's this skater from Baltimore. He's talking about Bucky. Yeah. Who's like, sick. I'm like, the guy shut the up. I'm like, denied it. I'm like, where's the Baltimore City kid going?

[A]

Vert.

[B]

You know. And then we go into Sports Elite one day, and I'm like, y' all got this out bad.

[A]

That mini ramp in the back which only the skaters who wrote for the shop could ride.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you ever get there?

[A]

So that's how I got crazy, is I was sponsored. So we were skating. I was skating for Reach for the Beach.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's where we go get our Tony Hawkboard in White marsh.

[A]

White marshmallow.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So I was out there before that. I wrote for Clear Light, which was in Parkville area. But then Reach for the beach. And then they got word that there was this young kid who was. Had a promising career, possibly. So then Bucky saw me, and Bucky was like, hey, Pat, you gotta let this kid skate the ramp. Pat allowed me to skate it. And they put me on sports that day. And then Bucky took me under his wing. So I grew up. As a matter of fact, when we were living in Parkville, my mother busting her ass at Mercy Hospital, she put an ad in the paper to find someone to drive me every day after school, after I finished middle school from my house in Parkville to Sports Elite. And when I would skate there all day until she got off at Mercy, pick me up and take me back home. That. That all. You know, you had to put an ad in the paper to find someone to drive me to do.

[B]

Well, that's what I couldn't believe. I'm like, where? So let me ask you this, then. If it's not for Sports Elite, where are you guys doing? I get streets.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where are you doing Vert in Baltimore City? That's crazy.

[A]

You're not. So there were other parks.

[B]

There were. People did have ramps for sure.

[A]

That it's just, you know, backyard ramps. And that's so Bucky. I'm skating with Bucky. Bucky gets me sponsored by POW right through skating with him pal Peralta. And then. Correct. And then we start going up to Pennsylvania to this skatepark called Cheapskates, where we meet Bam from Jackass, who ultimately plays the part of getting me in on Viva la Bam and Jackass. And ultimately out of Baltimore City. And if I would have stayed there, I surely would have died. My mother bought me a plot later on in my story. People were expecting me to. To die from my addiction.

[B]

All right, let's rewind here for a second. So you got dad, Hell's Angel, Mom's balling over here. We're always trying to get away from the White House. Brothers in the White House, sisters at Mercy. We're trying to get away from dad, but Dad's always coming. Mom's sort of always letting them back for sure. Little hardcore troubadour growing up.

[A]

Skateboarding, hanging with Bucky. Hanging in Highland Town.

[B]

That's your upbringing. When said, this sounds like a kid who's got the right, you know what I mean?

[A]

For sure.

[B]

For a Baltimore city kid, all the you could be doing out there to be skating all day long and. Sounds like a good.

[A]

I'm on point.

[B]

Where does it. What happens where you get introduced to drugs?

[A]

Sure. So I.

[B]

For me, or is it alcohol first? What was it for you?

[A]

Well, I believe that I was genetically predisposed. My father was an addict, and his father was an addict.

[B]

And are your mom or siblings?

[A]

My mother and my brother and sister, who are by a different man, have no issues.

[B]

Oh, they are.

[A]

Yeah. So my mother. My mother has a thing with guys.

[B]

Got it. So they're not that they are your brother and sister, but they're half different last name. So you got different genetics? Yeah.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

My father's. Father's gene, and I got that bad boy, so. So. And then paired with the fact that as a kid, my mother's working, there were days where no one could watch me. So my father would take me with him and we would go over to the strip joint, and I don't even know which one it is, but Bel Air Road, way back in the day. And he would be in the back conducting his business, and they would sit me at the. The bar, and the dancing girls would pour shots of ginger ale and Coca Cola. Right. And I'm doing the shots. The girls are, you know, and you're.

[B]

Little, just seeing girls, and they're like.

[A]

6, 7, 8 years old. That's my boy you saw, you know, riding around. My father's making his drops, and they're smoking herb in the car. And you have to remember, people, that this is like years before where you'd go to jail for a job. It's not legal. It's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's not like it is today. And I'M like, be quiet, keep it down, don't tell anyone. We used to grow. My father grew tons of weed in that Kingsville house. And back then he would get into the, the meter where they would use to read the electric and he'd pay them to put this piece of copper in there that would bring like the readings down so it didn't look like he was blowing tons of money on all this lighting. Yeah. And. And he had this secret room built in the, in the basement. And I remember him as a kid saying, do not. Because we were trying to sell the house. Do not tell the real estate agent about. You know. So I was groomed into that to where it. It did not make sense to me. But when it got to the point where my mind started to shift in a negative direction, it made complete the abnormal was becoming the normal and vice versa.

[B]

And you never had problems with like home invasions or any of that shit with people knowing what your dad's doing and they're coming for his?

[A]

No, nothing like that. No. At least not that I was aware of. And my father would move around a lot too.

[B]

Too.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So he's always Maryland though.

[A]

Yeah, Rosedale. He took it. He took residency in Rosedale for a little bit.

[B]

I lived in all the white trash.

[A]

Pockets, all those hotels, you know, the pay by the hour joints. We. We'd frequent those often to go find him on Pulaski Highway.

[B]

Yeah, Pulaski.

[A]

So. So throughout that time, life couldn't be better for me. And I'm actually using how much of a up my father is to my advantage. Right. I'm kind of possessing this mentality where like I will never be him. Right. Because there's. I'm the biggest mama's boy you'll ever meet and there's nothing I won't do for her. And the pain that I watched her endure as a result of how the. He acted under the influence. Because again, Jerome was the nicest guy in the world. But when he would not come home at 5pm to make dinner and we heard those motorcycles pulling at 3 or 3:30 in the morning and the key hit the lock, we shook like leaves because we didn't know who we were going to get, but we knew we weren't going to get that guy who made dinner for us. And he was the kind of guy that like. Like when him and his biker buddies were partying, the whole house was awake. So he would like wake us up, me, my brother, my mother and sister, and make us like sit on the sofa while they're partying, which to me looking back seems like a nightmare. I would. I went to party without my family, like interrupting that. So, so I use that to my advantage to be like, I'll. Not only will I never be him, I won't be an addict because I see I could. I was young enough to recognize the psychic change that takes place in an individual upon ingesting a drink or a drug, you know, so I used that. And, and I was never like a fool. I could, I could read the room well. And I, but I just didn't understand this disease that I was already pre diagnosed with genetically, so I didn't see it coming. And, and what happened was I'm skating. Things are going great and, and the better they're going. I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm touring with Bucky. He's. He's opening up this world for me that I never knew existed. I'm getting video parts and in PAL videos. I'm in and Thrashers and Trans Worlds and.

[B]

Are you sponsoring everything?

[A]

Yeah, I'm not making money, but, you know.

[B]

But you're not losing money.

[A]

No, I'm, I'm sponsored by shoes, I'm getting free clothes, they're paying for travel and, and all of that. And I'm amateur at this point, so. And, and it gets to the point where they're sending me prototype shapes to design what could potentially be my pro model board. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, hell yeah.

[A]

So. So it's getting to that point where like my dreams have come true, but like the, the end result. And, and with that came more responsibilities, right? And with more responsibilities paired with my upbringing, I kind of got in with a crew of. What happened was I'm going to Parkville High School. I'm that weird little skate rat. This is before skating is cool.

[B]

What year did you graduate?

[A]

I should have graduated in 96. Should have been one of our. Two different stories here.

[B]

Wrong. Two different years.

[A]

I mean, ultimately I got my GED in the penitentiary.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Later on. God damn.

[B]

Okay, so you should have been your year. Okay.

[A]

And if you open up my yearbook, my pictures in there, as if I graduated. They, they kicked me out two weeks before I was to walk across stage.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because I had smoked a joint before gym class and, and the. They came and they searched me and they didn't find drugs, but they said I smelled of marijuana. So they expelled me just simply because of that. And I mean, if you looked at me to that point, I was not a, a student who was like an asset to The. To the universe. You know, I was like. I was that kid that was high and doing drugs and smoking and cutting. So they were just cutting their losses.

[B]

All right, let's jump back. Sorry.

[A]

So, please.

[B]

You're. Wait, where are we? We were talking about your first. You're. You're getting sponsored. So.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Doing all this.

[A]

So. So. So with that, yeah, there's more responsibilities that are coming, but I'm now kind of associating. I'm not cool at this point. Right. No one knows who I am. I'm this weird little skate rat in school. And all of a sudden, I wanted to. There was this girl that I always. Doug. And her name was Natasha. And. And she was so hot, but she was always with, like, the varsity football and baseball players and wouldn't look my way to save my life. But I get a picture in a Trans World magazine once, and I take it in the next day to school and to Spanish class. There she was in. And. And I dropped it to one of her friends, and I saw her and her friend looking through the magazine door in class, and they're up front.

[B]

Front.

[A]

And they see me in there, and they turn around immediately. I. Natasha. That night. That night. But the reason why I tell that story is because prior to that, I was not the cool kid. No one was that.

[B]

Did you lose your virginity to Natasha?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

So. So. But I wasn't. The. The football players with me throw my skateboard. But that night I was invited to a party.

[B]

Changed everything.

[A]

And at that party that I didn't understand where that, like, red cup from the cake that seemed to make everybody have a better time would take somebody who already was predisposed to a disease that I didn't even know I had. And that drink, ultimately, that first drink, took me to a place that I could have never seen coming.

[B]

It was just beer. Yeah.

[A]

But it created that progression, you know, And. And, you know, I heard.

[B]

Never had anything.

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Dad never gave you a sip of beer or anything.

[A]

I would take his herb. I would, you know, and just hit it here and there just because he sold it and had it. And. But it was like I. I didn't give a. And. And ironically, skateboarding did for me at a young age what drugs and alcohol did for me later. Right. Like, you give me that skateboard at the age of seven, you put me in a room with the world's prettiest models. I'll not only believe that they've been waiting for me, but that they're, like, dying to marry me. Right. Like drugs and alcohol produce that same delusional narrative later on that I believed was real. So. So what happens is. And I heard this woman say this once. She said, when I take a drink, I become prettier, wittier and tittier. And. And that's what alcohol produced for me. It produced this feeling of no longer being that skate rat that got picked on by the cool kids in school. I'm getting attention from women that wouldn't look my way otherwise. And it came as a result of them seeing me in a magazine. But now I'm drinking more and I'm skating less and I'm losing interest in healthy activities. And now I'm disassociating and disconnecting with Bucky and. And the rest of my crew, Matt Martin, Eric Brim, all these guys from Hollandtown that I grew up skating with because, like, it gets in the way of my partying. But I don't see this. It continues to go and it progressed and until ultimately. And my. My story is really weird. It goes from skateboarding, positive future to like, in the blink of an eye. Heroin, homeless in Baltimore.

[B]

Yeah. Tell me, how do you going from beer to heroin and how quickly is that happening for you?

[A]

Well, it went from the beer to the Xanax and then the blow and then just getting totally.

[B]

Nothing ever scared you.

[A]

Oh, I don't know if you could tell by me yet, but I'm not really a kind of easy does it kind of guy. I'm. I'm. Either you have all my attention or don't bother me me. Like, I. I don't really understand the word moderate or moderation.

[B]

Listen, I've sat across. I say this all the time. Like I've sat here across from plenty of people who are still addicts. Clean. But they're like, I'm an addict, sure. And I can, thank God, drink half a beer.

[A]

God bless you.

[B]

And they're like, listen, I can't. And not only. And. And I say this every time. They'll say, if I have one, I'm having 20. And then they all say. And that's not an exaggeration, you know, it's not me just saying, like, I will continue to drink, drink, drink, drink. And I'm like, yeah, thank. I'm lucky doing.

[A]

Having one glass of wine will do nothing but piss me the off. It will infuriate me because that's, you know, just the taste of the tongue is all right, we're going somewhere. One of anything you like. I wanna. I started ordering bottles of Wine, because there's four glasses to a bottle. So when I go to the pub, she gives me a glass and it's busy. She might not come back for. You know, I'm like 10 steps ahead of the game.

[B]

I can't wait on you. Right? Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm. I'm also just slightly older than you and Len Bias. You remember Lenny Bias?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He was our. Like, just say no to drugs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, that guy was built like a Greek God. And I just remember thinking, if. If that thing can do that to that, what would it do to this? For sure. So I was all, I've never done coke, smoke, ever in my life. I'm so lucky, though, because now my friend's kids, I have, you know, a friend of mine whose daughter passed from fentanyl in Baltimore.

[A]

It's in everything.

[B]

It's a. It's. I'm saying that. And you yourself, you. You say it. I have so many friends that have gotten clean and sober, and they all say, but this day and age, I. I mean, you ain't making it out no street drugs.

[A]

It's totally different.

[B]

You're not making it. Yeah, it's not a whole. Not alive.

[A]

And the thing with me, again, going back to the genetically predisposed deal that I got from my. My God bless him, father who passed, is, unfortunately, logic does not stand a chance against my addiction. So that's what creates a separation or difference between you and I. You're the kind that says, hey, if I had this drink and it might make me want to do coke, maybe I don't want to do this drink. Yeah. I'm like, well, before I have this drink, I need to order an eight ball. Because what if the dealer doesn't answer? Or what if he goes to bed? Or what if the world ends and then we might as well order some dope?

[B]

Because I like producer.

[A]

Producing.

[B]

That's called producing.

[A]

I'm in the. The evidence based kind of lifestyle here. I need. I need substance to know why, like, this is worth it. And that my mind just goes.

[B]

But. So that's what I was asking. You weren't scared anything. So when it came your way, coke, you're like, now I'll do the Xanax, but I'm not gonna do that. You were a yes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And thank God I got out before the fentanyl hit the seam, because I. I mean, I literally spent every day coming up with as much money as I could to shoot speed balls of heroin and cocaine.

[B]

Yeah, let's talk about this. How. How does it, like, transition. Yeah. Spiral. So, I mean, you're a. How old when you're just getting in this?

[A]

17. 17. Okay. So you're middle up till that. I kind of prolong the inevitable and moonlight with skating to make my people think that, like, I'm still that guy until end of 16. And 17 is where I just threw the talent. I said, we're just gonna run this. So in between that, um, we, Bucky and I would go up to that skate park called Cheapskates. That's where we met Bam. Bam was not sponsored yet. Bucky was. I was both for pal and. And we would stay at Bam's house. We met Phil and Abe, and it just kind of became a unit.

[B]

Do you have something to do with the Bloodhound gang? Yeah, those guys. Yeah, yeah, they're from that area too. Oh, the Pennsylvania guys.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I thought so. I thought you did.

[A]

Yeah. So it's that whole corner.

[B]

Okay. So you all sort of knew each other that, like those worlds? This. What was it? Ck.

[A]

All you guys were connected. Cky, I know that people are bad. Jimmy Pop was done a lot of stuff with us. He lives in the King of Prussia area in Pennsylvania. All right, so. But my introduction to that world was Bam, right? And. And. And Bam and I were doppelgangers. We skated alike, we dressed alike. We were good contest skaters, consistent outside the box thinkers when it came to putting tricks together. And every year, we would practice for this one particular contest that happened in Bricktown, New Jersey. And we'd show up, and either he'd win or I'd win. This particular year, Bucky's there, as usual. I'm not. Bam goes to Bucky. Yo, where's Novak? And Bucky's like, I think he's on heroin. And Bam's like, what's that? Such a young age. He does not know what that is. Needless to say, he continues to follow his pursuit and love of skateboarding. I choose to pursue heroin. And our lives go in completely different directions. Fast forward to I always looked at skateboarding at that point as, like, the love of my life. That got away. I avoided at all costs. I don't even want to know it exists. I don't want to hear about it. And I'm on the streets. I'm homeless at this point. I'm shooting heroin. And one day, I can't come up with money to save my life. So I go into select skate shop, which was in Fells Point back In the day, something I had never done. And I went in there, and I was trying to get some money from them, and they said, we're not going to give you money. But bam was here yesterday with the toy machine team doing a demo, and he asked if we ever saw you. We said no. And he said, well, if you do, give him my phone number and tell him if he wants to get off heroin and start skating again to call me. And that's ultimately what happened. I called him a little while later from a payphone on Broadway, that 711 on Broadway right up there. And I'm sleeping in a garage, an abandoned garage underneath a house up there.

[B]

It's that bad for you? That quick?

[A]

That quick.

[B]

How old are you at this point?

[A]

Point. Well, that time went on at that point, so I'm about 21.

[B]

But this five years, you're going to homeless?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're homeless?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Where's mom? Where's dad?

[A]

At this point, Dad's dad somehow finagled his way into.

[B]

He's got a new residency.

[A]

Back with mom on. On Exeter Street, Right. Of Eastern Avenue. My mother bought a house there. There.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I come home in the thick of my addiction and find him shacked up on the sofa, and I'm like, here we go. And now the tables have turned. Now we're both doing the same thing to my mother. We're both stealing her car. We're both stealing money from her. We sit around the house all day and get high while she's working at Mercy. Total delinquents. And. And ultimately one day, I come home that night and I find my father, like, crawling through the window in the back. He's an older guy guy, and I, like, push him out of the window. I'm gonna be the protector of my mother because I love her while I steal all her belongings, and we get into a fight outside of the house, and he says, you're never to call yourself a Novak again. And then at that point, my mother felt it was best to, like, tell both of us to leave. And. And then I would use that to my. My. My benefit to my. To prolong my addiction, because I. I'd be like, mom, I need 50 bucks. No know. Well, if you didn't have me by a crack addict father and make me see these things that you let him continue to do, I wouldn't be this way. So give. You know what I mean? And it went that way until finally.

[B]

But let me ask you. So during this time, you're not working, you're Not.

[A]

I would get jobs at, like, at restaurants. And my hustle was all through the harbor. You name it, I worked at it.

[B]

Uno Pizzeria, the CPKs, all those Hooters.

[A]

Phillips. No, I worked at Phillips, which was next to Hooters. And I was banging a chick that worked at Hooters. So I would use her car during the day and go shoot up. Yeah, yeah, she also liked to shoot. So we'd run con on, like, the rich.

[B]

So no jobs, no nothing. And you don't have a place to live?

[A]

I'm washing dishes. I'm washing dishes or busing tables at all those restaurants in the harbor place. And what I would do is I would go in there and I would get a shower in the bathroom, like a bird bath. I would eat. I would, like, make money because you get cash every day. And I was like my father. I had the gift of gab. And I would tell these waitresses that, like, my house is under renovations. Is it okay if I stay with you? And then they'd let me move, same as my father let me move in with them. I'd use their car while they're at work. I'd run their life to the ground. They'd end up wanting to kill me and wash, rinse, repeat. But, but. And that. But I take Bam up on that offer and he brings me up to Pennsylvania, which is then how I ultimately got out of Baltimore. But I would still come back. I would lie to Bam and say I have to go back to Baltimore to get my favorite pair of jeans. And I would disappear into East Baltimore for like three weeks and I get arrested and I'd overdose. And you.

[B]

You. How many times have you overdosed?

[A]

Well, a common reoccurrence in my life is that, that I loved heroin. But what I really liked was going down the Lexington Market and I'd buy 180 milligrams of methadone and like four or five Xanax bars, and that was a guaranteed overdose. Which is not what one would think they were striving to do.

[B]

I mean, Lexington Markets, it's no place to be for anybody. No, but like, that's. Listen, no joke. The Chappelle standup special where he talks about how he saw a baby in a diaper outside on the corner at three in the morning. Listen to me. I've seen that Lexington Market.

[A]

I have a story in here.

[B]

I took Tom Segora through there at like 2:30 in the morning when we were working in Baltimore. And I'm telling you, there Are kids in diapers on those corners at that time? It's not, it's. And you're going there.

[A]

So I'm going down there.

[B]

And you're a white kid, you're a little kid too. Are you getting, are you getting jumped a lot?

[A]

I'm getting robbed regularly. Regular.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Oh, you know, most people get coffees in the morning. I go, go overdose on methadone and get beat up and robbed. I'll never forget one time Bam and I went to the VMAs and we went to a party before and the swag stuff and, and they give us these. They give him this really nice diamond encrusted watch. And I thought that it would make sense for me to, to wear it down to Lexton Market one day while I go and I got robbed. And not only did I get beat up and robbed by them. Bam then beats the out of me all because I wanted to wear this watch down to Lexington Market.

[B]

Nothing down there. Yeah, they listen that same aunt Marguerite while you look for that picture. My same aunt Marguerite worked at Lexington Market before she worked at the rate aid and she worked at the little liquor store in there. And I would go say hello to her once in a while just to get a lottery ticket if I was down by the civic center. That's the only reason I'm going anywhere near Lexington Market.

[A]

Yeah, you don't belong, man.

[B]

You're going down there as a little scrawny kid. What was the picture?

[A]

Sure, it's. It's a story that takes place in Lexington Market. So it's a whole draw up of Lexington Market. I don't want to keep like going through this, but it's in there.

[B]

And that's the best crab. Well, one of the best crab cakes in Lexington Market.

[A]

So. So the reoccurring theme is I would go down there on Overdose and then.

[B]

They, they laying on the streets, laying.

[A]

On the streets and the ambulance would pick me up and they take me to Mercy.

[B]

Who's called?

[A]

Nah, they take me to Mercy. So. So a reoccurring Hop Hopkins right there. And, and without fail they take me to the emergency room and. And then they would go over and they, they call, they call third floor nuclear. Pat your boy's back. Pat your boy's back.

[B]

So now you're embarrassing her at her job too.

[A]

She got to a point where she had to tell the security guards at that hot. The big hospital not let me in. Ultimately at the end she served me with a restraining order. Daughter, right. Like things got really Twisted and dark.

[B]

At the hospital.

[A]

Almost like my father at my. At her house at Little Italy. So then she. And I know we're jumping around, but okay, she. She now lives.

[B]

So let me. So hold on. Yeah, I can't get over. And you're overdosing and being taken to her hospital regularly. Oh, man. Your mom. Is your sister working there yet? Or. That comes later.

[A]

That comes later.

[B]

So they. She tells them, don't let them in anymore, so then have to go.

[A]

So I'm just like, roaming the streets, man. I'm sleeping in abandoned houses. I'm.

[B]

You'll.

[A]

You'll remember this.

[B]

You slept in some of those Baltimore abandoned houses.

[A]

I lived in those houses.

[B]

Are there other people in there too? Yeah.

[A]

One of the stories in this is me falling through the floor of one of those shooting galleries, and there's just all this water in a basement of an abandoned house. And the stairs had fell through. So I'm stuck down there. And these other dope fiends come in to shoot up. And I scream up to them and they save me. They make a makeshift rope out of some blankets they had in their car in their pickup truck. Picture at the pickup truck, and it's a guy. The story. I'm looking at the story right here. And. And they hoist down this makeshift rope. I have a scar on my shin.

[B]

From falling through that super crackhead.

[A]

You ever heard of Naked and Afraid? You go to Lexington Market, I'll show you Naked and Afraid.

[B]

Lexington Market. That is wild, dude.

[A]

So my days are. Are like that. Well, my.

[B]

What's your day then?

[A]

Just hustle and you'll remember this. My days at the end end up with me hanging on the corner of Eastern Avenue and Patterson park with all the other young boys selling my ass, letting men blow me.

[B]

No, for that you were.

[A]

That's where it took me, ultimately.

[B]

So wait, I didn't know about that.

[A]

This book starts out.

[B]

Okay, let's hold on a sec. Because my buddy Shannon, who also owns a junkyard there in Auto recycling in Baltimore llc, off of North Haven street or South Haven. He's on high south, but either way, he used to live right across Patterson park. And that's where I watch. I would sit on the stoop at night, and that's when the 12 o' clock boys are riding the motorcycle.

[A]

They're big boys.

[B]

And I would watch these drug dealers. It was fascinating. They would. They would stand at the bus stop and the cops would roll by. And you can't. You can't press somebody for standing at the bus stop. Soon as the cop would leave, leave, they'd stay at the bus. The bus start coming. They step away from the bus stop.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they get back up. And then I'd start seeing people pull up like, oh, this motherfucker's just slinging all night long and doing it at the bus stop. Look at, this is great.

[A]

Legit.

[B]

That's awesome. I mean, it's not awesome, but it's awesome. They saved you.

[A]

Yeah, dude.

[B]

This is crazy.

[A]

Crazy. So, and then there's stories in there, like me at Tony Hawk's house with Bucky as a kid. And then, ironically enough, Tony Hawk wrote the the forward for my book, you know, so it's all full circles.

[B]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Seasons are changing. The days get darker sooner. This time of year isn't always easy for some. This November, Better Help is encouraging everyone to reach out, check in on your friends, reconnect with loved ones, and remind the people in your life that you're there. Because we're healthier when we have community and when we have support. I, I, I'll be honest. It just so happens that daylight savings falls, like, right around my birthday when we spring forward. And I love it. I'm a nighttime person, but I don't need 18 hours of it. You know what I'm saying? So I get it. I get the seasonal depression, all that stuff. We talk about therapy on this show all the time is a really good option. And I'm telling you, if you haven't tried it, you yet, try it. I have 100% done online therapy, and it actually really does help.

[A]

All right.

[B]

If you're thinking about therapy, give Better Help a try. With over 30,000 therapists, better help is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million clients. Client reviews this month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com Honeydew that's better h e l p.com Honeydew with the holidays creeping closer, the days are getting busier. Routines are getting thrown off with the parties, the feast, and the endless to dos. That's when I reach for Tempo. Tempo provides real meals already cooked, ready in minutes that are actually good for you, which is helping me stay balanced while still enjoying the celebration. With 20 new recipes every week. Made from nutrient rich ingredients, Tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits. No matter your goals. There's a Tempo meal for you Protein pack. They got calorie conscious, carb conscious, there's even fiber rich. I've been focusing on my protein intake. Let's be honest, my carb cutout and they've got great stuff. They have a Fiesta grilled chicken that I really like. They got a rice dish, there's a barbecue pulled pork. There's a sweet potato skillet that tastes great, helps me hit all my goals, all while being convenient and fast to fit my schedule. If you're one of those people that also like eats really good all day and then at night, you might just throw it out the window and go for it. Get some Tempo Meals. You won't feel so bad about yourself. Trust me. For a limited time, Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Go to Tempo Meals.comHoneydew that's Tempo Meals.comhoneydew for 60 off your first box Tempomeals.comHoneydew rules and restrictions may apply. Holiday shopping season is officially here, y', all, and the countdown is on. Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gifting with thousands of unique, high quality finds you won't see anywhere else. You don't want to wait on this as the most meaningful gifts get scooped up fast. And now's the perfect time to cross names off your list and they truly have something for everyone. Mom, dad, grandma, the dog gardeners, craft love lovers, sports enthusiast, you name it. Look at their site. Get lost for like an hour scrolling through all the cool things like I did. Here's another thing I'm ridiculously difficult to get anything for, even for myself. Like I'll go buy something at a store and then I come home and I'm like, I'm taking it back. All right. So I can't tell you how many. I'm the king of returns over here. They've got so much cool stuff on there. If you're looking for something, you're like, oh, this is definitely something my niece will like. My kids will like my whatever, whatever. It's there. Uncommon Goods when you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Plus with every purchase you make and Uncommon Goods, they're giving a dollar to a non profit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3.1 million to date. So don't wait Cross the names off your list before the rush. To get 15 off your next gift, go to uncommongs.com honeydew that's uncommongoods.com honeydew for 15 off Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary now. Let's get back to the deal. Dude, hold on. You're telling me that you get addicted so bad and you can't get money anymore that you're. You turn to just men?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Not by choice. And Baltimore is one of these weird places that was about money. So what happened was here's. And I, I like this because you'll recognize. Recognize the story. So there was.

[B]

I, like you said, you'll know this and I'm like, I didn't know that.

[A]

I've never even done coke.

[B]

So. Hold on, wait. The core. What, what part of Patterson Eastern and.

[A]

Patterson right on that corner across from where there's the pharmacy now it's right like on the corner.

[B]

I know exactly where you're talking about.

[A]

You would hang. The young boys would hang there.

[B]

And so if you were a gay guy, you would know that's where I go to get you.

[A]

This is kind of like the open air market, right?

[B]

And what you, you just point at them or whatever?

[A]

It's. Yeah, it's, it's, it's. You spot it, you got it.

[B]

And, and, and then what? It take you around in the car? Where are you going?

[A]

Yeah, so, so what happened was that was I used to make fun of those boys, right? And, and that's just life, man. You get right sized a lot. And, and I did. And we would make fun of those boys growing up. And, and one day I go down to Fells Point and there's this store that's no longer there, but they sell all this like intricate, unique rod iron furniture, like handmade heavy steel iron. And it's expensive. And I, I go there one day and they have it outside and I steal it. And I have these grandiose plans that like my fence is going to give me good money for this. And now my fence isn't answering. No one's buying this humongous table I have and I'm lugging it around and it is not light, it's heavy as fuck. And I start out that morning at like 8am with plans to have a great day of doing a lot of heroin. And it's now like nine at night.

[B]

Night.

[A]

And I have no money. I'm ill as a research monkey. I'm detoxing. And I have no options. And I'm walking up by there and Patterson and Eastern and I hear a horn beep. And the guy's like, kid, what are you doing with the table? I'm like, I'm like, it's for sale. And he goes, well, I have a hundred bucks, but I don't want the table. And again, logic and addiction do not compute with me. Me. And I'm sick. And the dope boys, because I'm buying up across Patterson park over there like Orleans and Baltimore street and they usually stop serving at 10pm so I'm up against the clock here, pal.

[B]

What are you talking about? There's a last call.

[A]

Cracking Heroin in Parson 100%.

[B]

That is hilarious. Hilarious? Dude, that's the most insider I've ever heard in my life. We gotta get over there by 10 or it won't be here.

[A]

Shop's closed.

[B]

Get the out.

[A]

And you can take, you can take your chances. But usually anyone out past then is burning. They're selling fake. It's a known thing.

[B]

Ah, okay. So hold on. Tell me about this guy. So is this guy a normal looking dude? This a scum? You know what I'm saying is this.

[A]

And I go into. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I go into grave deep detail in this book about it if anyone wants to check it out. Dream seller. He's. He's driving this burgundy Cadillac and he's got a wedding ring on and he's very well put together and.

[B]

White dude.

[A]

Yeah, white dude. Not fat, not skinny.

[B]

What time of night?

[A]

It's around 9:40ish. And no, not that I had a watch or cared about time, but I had to make it by 20 minutes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Closing time and. And I'm like. And I had swore and I had done a lot of shit in my life, but that was the thing that I would never do. And I have nothing against homosexuality or gays. I fucking love all that stuff, but that's just not where I'm at. But on that night things were bad and there was no hope in the horizon. So I said fuck it. And I get in his car and he takes me, you'll know this. He takes me down off Boston street right where the Bay Cafe used to be on the water, where that parking lot. You can park. We sit right there and I'm just watching the clock. And now they will like though a lot of those guys, they'll pay you to blow you, right? So I didn't. So I'm getting blown. I'm not.

[B]

Have you ever seen Pecker the movie Pecker.

[A]

Who the hasn't in my mind.

[B]

There's a scene in that movie.

[A]

John Waters. Yeah.

[B]

Hell yeah. Where the male stripper goes, I'm not gay. He blew me. I didn't blow him. I. And he's got a bottle where.

[A]

Accident.

[B]

That's what. What he said.

[A]

I. I was on tour. So.

[B]

Wait, you're not he. Wow.

[A]

Paying you. They pay.

[B]

Okay, let's pause this first. Cuz also, like, that's wild. No offense to you, sure, but you're paying a junkie to suck his.

[A]

Yeah, and it's kind of.

[B]

I would never think it would be that way. Did you think that was going to happen or.

[A]

I knew I was hip to it because I. You know, I'm kind of in that world with. You know, most of those kids on that corner get high high, you know, that are selling their deal. You're getting so. And there's. And there's just. That's just their thing, you know, we all have our king.

[B]

He's like, give me 100 bucks to blow you.

[A]

Yeah. So he has 100 bucks. So we go down to the. The Boston where the water is where you park publicly. And. And he starts blowing me. And I. I want no part of this. Right. And. And I totally disassociate and I teleport myself to. In my mind, I'm already over a copping. Right. I'm already. I'm like, I. I got what I'm doing. I just counted it out.

[B]

You're spending your lottery. Yeah, I got two.

[A]

Yeah. I like the animal making street. I already got the 1.7.

[B]

We're going to rose down.

[A]

We're going to greener pastures. Mommy has a yard now.

[B]

Okay, I see.

[A]

So I'm there. And that's the only thing that's like saving my humanity at this point. And. And of course, I'm up against the clock. So the longer this act goes until.

[B]

I finish, you're not going to get anything anyway.

[A]

Which really proves that mind over matter.

[B]

Like, you had to finish.

[A]

That was the thing. That's the thing. You know, like they. They don't just want to do it for like. That's what they get off on, you know, I don't want to stick just ahead in if that's what I'm going in for. Like, I want to.

[B]

That's wild that these guys are doing that to. Just random.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, that's a thing. Thing. It's a thing.

[B]

That's why when I ever. I. We always laugh when women say you know, sometime we're just as horny as you guys. I'm like, are you. Are you.

[A]

Are you willing to go to the extent that.

[B]

Let me ask you this. How many women pulled up on that corner and asked y', all, how many?

[A]

Any.

[B]

Did you ever get one?

[A]

God, anytime.

[B]

Ever get one? Yeah. No. Men are animals.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Animals.

[A]

I don't get it. I don't get it.

[B]

Animal moles.

[A]

So here the story gets better, believe it or not. So watching the clock, totally disassociating, but also kind of remaining in reality because I'm on a timeline and I gotta finish, and I finish, right? And. And he's now driving me up to where I need to be. And. And we're just barely getting there. And we get up there, I have a hundred dollars in my mind, I'm going to buy eight pills of hair, eight pills of dope.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And two. Two vials of coke.

[B]

Are you needles at all at this point?

[A]

Doing the deal. And. And my favorite, when I'm in that place now, for context, I've been sober for over 10 years now. So these are good stories.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I'm a total sober guy. I don't do anything, but at the time, I love shooting speedballs. You know, heroin and cocaine mix, and that's like. That's. That's hitting the lottery. So I'm about to, like, really blast off to forget this ungodly thing I just did that I swore would never be done. And. And, And. And it's now it's like five after 10. It's five after 10. And I get up there, and the block is. The long block is pretty quiet. And that's a terrible sign. You're not seeing people rushing in the alley to get served. There's no guys on the bus stop saying what you just explained. None of that. And I. I refuse to accept reality. I'm like, I gotta just be not seeing them. And I'm running around, and as I'm running and scurrying literally like a rat, it's getting later. And finally the reality sets in. The dope shops have closed, and I'm getting sicker. And the later it gets, the harder it is for a deal to go down.

[B]

And is that the only place to get it?

[A]

Well, that I'm aware of. So I could then take my chances and go over to West Baltimore, South Baltimore. But the odds of me getting burned are much more likely because I have no idea.

[B]

Got it. This is your.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. This is. This is where I fucking reside. And as time goes on, I'm getting sicker. Reality setting in, and I got to get something. And I impulsively make this decision, and I see this guy who just served another white person. So I'm like, it's got to be. And I buy the eight dopes from him. And I said, who's got coke? And he said, she does, right next to it. And then I buy two things. I buy one thing of coke, right? One thing of coke broke. Because I'm gonna save the other $10. I'm gonna go to the bodega, and I'm gonna buy a pack of Marlboro Reds, right? We're gonna have a good time.

[B]

We're spending all.

[A]

Honey, we're gonna go all in. I get that. And I rush to the bodega, and. And I'm in line to get the cigarettes, and I said, I'm looking at it. It looks real. And I'm like, dude, let me just taste it. And I pull one of the gel caps apart, and I put a little bit right here, and I don't get that bitter taste. And I'm like, no, it can't be. And I dump more, and I get this very dry kind of sand. And I know exactly what the it is. I just bought 80 worth of drywall. Drywall also.

[B]

How the do you know?

[A]

Because that's just. Because I've sold drywall in the past. I've been known to deal in drywall.

[B]

Drywall, man, in my life, I ain't ever heard that one.

[A]

It's prevalent. I mean, you get it from any abandoned house, and most of the walls are broken. They're just crushing it up in a gel cap. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

So one's.

[B]

That was supposed to be the coke.

[A]

That was the dough, that was the dope. So one's down, but I'm like, it. There's. I got seven more, maybe just May, and I'm still in line. I'm about to spend my last 10 the next one same. He was eating trial back to back to back. I look like a special needs kid at this point. I have a bodega at like, 10:30 at night.

[B]

Oh, my God. All right, so that's the dope. What about the coke? What's the coke?

[A]

Give the people what they want. I get to the coke, and I'm like, all right, the coke, it's got to be. I refuse to accept defeat. I've came way too far. I let a man blow me. I've came in a stranger's mouth. A lot of Unsanitary things happen. In the last 20 minutes, I've swallowed a quarter of drywall. It's me. So. So the coke. The coke. The coke's gotta be it. I put the coke on my same spot, spot to my tongue. And I do not get that numbing feeling. And I get a taste that I'm familiar with. It's sugar. I just bought sugar. I just bought sugar. So right when I'm up to get the pack of cigarettes, I just gave her the 10. She's getting me my marble reds. I said, no, no. And I get the 10 back.

[B]

And what are you getting for 10? If you can, even if that market's open, what does a 10 get you?

[A]

So now enough to not make you sick, though one would hope. I'm walking back to. I'm sleeping. Sleeping. A block up from the 711 on Broadway, there's an alley. And if you go down the alley to your right, you lift this garage door up and it's above a house that someone lives in. But we're sneaking into their abandoned garage and I'm sleeping in there at night. It's cold, it's wet.

[B]

Who's we?

[A]

How many people are me and two other people that I'm running the streets with and I don't know where they're at. I've part.

[B]

Everybody does their thing and we just.

[A]

Kind of meet back and. And on my way home. The thing that is always. It's like. It's out like McDonald's, but it's garbage and no one ever wants it. They sell these three dollar pills and. And I buy three. Three dollar pills and I inject it and. And I was as good, as sick as I was when I woke up. Nothing worked. Nothing worked. And. Yeah.

[B]

So when do you start to say I. I'm not. I gotta get away from this. Wait, you said something to. You went to a penitentiary. You didn't just say jail, you said penitentiary. That's a big difference. What happened?

[A]

So I, So this is funny. So throughout all this, this stuff that I'm telling you about, it's like peaks and valleys, right? Like, Bam's letting me come back and he's kind of made me. He's allowed me to be a. A guest on Viva Laban.

[B]

I was gonna say. So when we're seeing you on these shows, you're battling addiction at the time, and it's. Are you. Are you up and high during that? Are you having bouts of sobriety, like a month, two weeks, or you just.

[A]

And this book explains the Psychology of everything you just asked. Going through Jackass. Viva Bam. This really goes into that. Okay, so although this amazing opportunity, one would say the keys to the castle. I'm becoming a household name. I'm on a Viacom show, I'm getting paid. Life couldn't be better. My alternative is like being homeless in Baltimore, shooting heroin. I've never been more depressed and sad because I know that it's only a matter of time before I'm going to burn this bridge to the ground and go right back. I'm not capable of making logical decisions. And I. Although. So I'm living with Bam and them and. And we're film. We wrapped for the day. The set, the cast, the crew, we all go out and. And I'm telling these stories of all these crazy things that I've done. And. And he said now, he said to this point, I could live at his house, I could be on the show, I could drive a car, I could get paid, but I was not allowed to do opiates. I could do like alcohol and blow because no one really understood addiction at that point and it was socially acceptable. And if I'm doing blow, I'm not like stealing your wallet or totaling your car or falling asleep in mid conversation.

[B]

But it's dangerous for you also because this is skateboarding. You break your arm, whatever. They're going to give you opiates.

[A]

So that's. That's kind of what I'm guessing.

[B]

They're around everywhere.

[A]

And now Bam has made it very clear to everyone that I am not to have opiates. So everyone knows even if I try, it's not happening. But. And I then become the guy that will do any stunt asked of why? Because it gets me screen time, right? It gets me the ratings go higher. The more in demand, the more money, the more dope. But worst case scenario, I get hurt, they take me to the hospital, they give me a script of pills which then they all allow. So it's like a justified. So I'm down to fucking break my bones. I'm actually looking forward to it, hopefully.

[B]

So if it's doctor prescribed, we'll allow it. But nobody give Brandon anything.

[A]

Yeah, because that's what I want. I don't want the coke, I don't want the wine. I want the dope.

[B]

But even though you're shooting at this point and stuff, the pills still are enough. Are they power? You know what I mean? Like, explain to me that obviously I know the in, but boom, boom, what is on a level of 1 to 10. If we're putting it right in our veins. What are pills doing for us?

[A]

I mean, it's just kind of killing time.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, it's, it's, it's not this. No, it doesn't compare.

[B]

We're going back.

[A]

It gives me that warm feeling. Get you enough and some hope to like just stick just the head in. Right. And. And now all I want is to get back there and do that.

[B]

And so I'm trying to get up on this show.

[A]

That's all I want. And, and that's kind of the character that I play. And you know, I'm like, Bam would introduce me as like the hair heroin addict Novak, you know, and so the bar was never set high for me to be this guy who kept it together. I was the guy that did whatever, whenever, with whoever, and it really didn't me. Well, for a long time until it didn't and it turned on me. I had some of the best times of my life getting high that I wouldn't take back and I would go do again. But unfortunately, my party that I couldn't wait to get to at the end turned into like a full blown hostage negotiation where I wasn't allowed to leave and I didn't want to be at anymore. Like, it got obviously the stories, it ends there and it ends with me burning all those bridges to the ground and everyone in my life, including my mother, who I love more than anything, saying that it's best to love me from a distance. And like my mother served me the restraining order. Yeah. You know, like, like people had to remove themselves.

[B]

Why prison?

[A]

Oh. So I'm sorry. I got diverted. So one of the, the days I'm waking up, we're filming Jackass at Bam's and I'm ill and I don't have anything. And I must have had something before, enough to get this habit to get ill. And I didn't have anything. And I have a leather jacket with all these zippers and I go into one of the pockets and one of my buddies from Bal Baltimore stole a dentist script from a dentist office. And he wrote on there, he wrote not even the dentist. He wrote like eight oxycodone, 30s and. And just signed it. And now I find that in my jacket. So I go to a CVS and I go in with the hopes to catch this script. We're filming Jackass, right. But then. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. So back, rewind. I go to catch the script.

[B]

Script.

[A]

Jackass hasn't started filming yet. This is the Ending to it though. And when I go in to cash the script, I have a black leather jacket on, I'm wearing a black fedora, and I'm driving Bam's black Mercedes. And I go in, I cash script the, the pharmacist takes it and I'm thinking that she's cashing it. And I hear on the phone saying, he's driving a black Mercedes, he's wearing a black leather jacket and a black fedora. I know that she's talking to the authorities. I run out of there, never to go back. One year later, we're filming Jackass at Bam's house. I do a stunt called Doo Doo Falls where I drop in on like a 13 foot over inverted ramp on a toilet with my pants down while reading the paper. And I smash. I break the majority of my ribs. Yeah, a concussion. And they put me in an ambulance and they're taking me to the emergency, emergency, emergency room. And there's a state trooper following. And they said, novak, there's a state trooper. And I'm like, yeah, it's just an escort, I'm sure to get us there quicker. And we get there and I'm up in the bed and they, they're working on me and, and the state trooper walks and he said, Are you Mr. Novak? I said, yeah. He said, we've been looking for you for an over about a year now.

[B]

How you're only like 30 miles away.

[A]

You have a felony warrant out for.

[B]

Your arrest in Pennsylvania.

[A]

Trying to pass that script a year ago. So from there now they directly to jail. Not, I mean, they're holding you. Right. Like I have to go through the.

[B]

Process and you're not getting out, you're going from hospital to jail.

[A]

Yeah, from hospital to jail. Which really fucked me because they were still filming Jackass, so I missed out on a few scenes that I had. Right. So. Really fucked me. So I'm in jail, I post the bail, I get out. And then ultimately they said, they sentenced me to 11 and a half weekends and 33, whatever it was, house arrest. 11 and a half, 30 weekends. And so whatever house arrest. So I'm doing the weekends, right. And, and at this time we have a radio show on Sirius satellite piss.

[B]

Testing you and everything too.

[A]

They don't be clean test us, but they search us as we're going in.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We have a radio show that we do at Bam's house, Sirius satellite radio. And, and it goes live and it's just like this. And we're in there, we're partying and someone's working the boards, and we forget that. It's like a live thing that goes out to the nation. And I do my. The radio show we do on Monday nights. I turn myself in Friday, and I'm always released Sunday. Right? And on this Monday night, I talk about how the COs couldn't be any more incompetent, how I'm sneaking my drugs in for my weekend in my ass. And my dead grandmother could do a better shot job. I do the raiders for that Monday. That Friday, I go to turn myself in, and they separate me from the rest and they put me in the intake. I'm in there. I'm a day and a half in the intake. I. All the drugs I've now pulled out of my ass and I've done. So I'm high as they get, and I hear a bang at the door. And it's a white shirt. It's a sergeant.

[B]

Now, real quick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You pull these drugs out, how are you getting to do them? I'm getting away with it.

[A]

I'm taking a cigarette, cellophane, and I'm just loading it with Xanax and volumes. And I just wrap it up and just shove your ass.

[B]

Oh, so it's just a pill you're pulling out?

[A]

Yeah, multiples.

[B]

Oh, you do? Okay, all right.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

And I do hear the knock at the door.

[A]

I've woken up and. And it's a sergeant, a white shirt. And he said, no back come with. And I'm like, yes, they've got my figured out. I'm going back to the weekend block. They take me into a room maybe a half a size bigger than this. And there's this. This one ginger sergeant on the computer in the corner who will not stop looking at the computer. And there's a whole group of sergeants in a circle. They put me in the middle of the circle. And the guy who won't break eyes with his laptop, he said, so you think it's funny making fun of us on live air?

[B]

No.

[A]

And he starts repeating the radio show verbatim. And as he does, he's reading it verbatim.

[B]

Oh, dude.

[A]

As he does that, they start to have their way with me. So I'm like a pinata in the middle of. They're me up. So at the time, this is. This is a privately ran facility, right? It's. Which are like the worst because it's just its own world, right? It's like you could. They could do anything they want to you in there. And. And. And so. So so right there. There, they take away my 11 and a half to 20 or my 30 weekends and six months. How. That's what it was. 30 weekends, six months house arrest. And they hit me with the 11 and a half to 23 right there. I never go back home. And they would make my stay hell. They put me in SMU special management unit for the first 90 days. So I'm in. Where? Why?

[B]

Because you're going to detox in there?

[A]

Well, it's. It's just. They're just with me because I made them look real bad. So in this, it's 23 in one. You're. You come out. You're. You're handcuffed and shackled. You can shower. You can have a Bible if you have one. You can't have books. There's no tv.

[B]

You're by yourself.

[A]

You. I have a celly with me, a celly. So me and it's this young black kid named Streets from Chester County. And now I'm withdrawing off of Xanax, off of heroin and.

[B]

And.

[A]

And off of methadone, all at the same time, locked in this cell 23. So I do that for 90 days. I'm. I'm thinking that the co. That the. The. The warden is my girlfriend. I'm starting to hallucinate, right? I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm having these, like, just these hallucinations because I'm withdrawing from benzos, which is one of the only withdrawals you could die from that now. Cause the two most dangerous withdrawals, I think that I'm on the Price Is Right, and I'm like, playing these games. You did my. He's like, one time he catches me. Jerk. He's like, I'm. I'm on the top bunk. He's like, you jerking off up there playing Plinko? He's like, you jerking off up there? I'm like, yeah, I am. He's like, yo, I feel some kind of way about that. Not like a bad way or a good way. He just felt away. And I became really good friends. And. And then from there I. They just kept moving me from all these different cell blocks. And in every cell block I would go to, as soon as I would get on the block, they would come through and they would raid the whole block. So the blacks would get really angry when they see me coming on the unit, right? They were just fucking my life up. They'd come in and search my cell, and I'd have to research it because I thought they were going to plant something in there because one time my ex fiance came to visit me and they're like, when does he get home? When does he get released? And she said it and they're like, you think he's coming home? Like they had it out for me, man. And then I found out the, the lawyer that I had to represent me was best friend, friends with the warden that I didn't know at the time. So like it was a lot of, a lot of issues and that's so in there.

[B]

Is when is that the beginning of you getting clean? Like just having to go through it? No, no. This is the first time you haven't done drugs in a while? The longest, yes.

[A]

Because usually I go to rehab for 30, 60 days and, and I'd get out and I'd start drinking again and then coke and Xana. You know, this is the first time, time that, and, and then, and I stay in there a whole year and they release me. But while I'm in there they offer these GED classes and I don't give a. About being the scholarly guy and I want a high school diploma. What it was is if you, if you received your GED and you passed the test, you got a pizza party supplied by Domino's. And I love pizza. So I'm like. And it's the same thing with recovery, right? As soon as it became my idea, I killed it. But like we were talking before we started this, you tell me what I need to do, I tell you I need to fuck off, right? It's all deliverance. And so I aced that sats like a Yale valedictorian. And that's how I got my GED in the joint, which ironically. And none of this was like, I'm not clever enough to create this outcome. It's all God. I'm a big, I'm not religious, but I'm really spiritual. And I, I. God is everything to me. And what I didn't know then, that I know now is looking back and recognizing the synchronicity at every one of those life's events that were going to lead me to the here and now had to prove to me that God had been doing for me so much bigger and broader than my feeble dumb mind could ever conceive of. And, and, and, and, and those stories like that, those, those, those, those, those defects were going to become my biggest assets to where like ultimately I then become a published author. This book does insanely well. It's recently Revised in its 12th edition. New epilogue New ending, new chapters. Most books don't make it past their first edition. 98% don't. And today I get paid to speak in universities, you know, so you can't tell me that you can't achieve. Mentality will create our reality. Reality. And I had to go to a place where I had to change my perception, to change my world, because I looked at things as I was a product of or. Or like, if you had my father, you'd be a dope fiend, too. And until I then was willing to accept responsibility and accountability for my actions. I didn't send a chance because I was like, the victim in every scenario.

[B]

And not. Not to laugh, but I. I've. You know, there's a lot of funny through my life, and I can tell you, I've dated a few too. A few years later, I'll get to. Hey, I'm sorry. Text. I'm like, somebody's in.

[A]

The old ninth step.

[B]

I've had so many of these. I'm like, good for you, girl.

[A]

That's amazing.

[B]

Years later, good for you, girl. You know, it's always. I'm like, oh, you're hitting all the people that you did, you know? So that's what I want to ask you, because I know we got to get you out of here. I could talk to you forever.

[A]

Same man, this is so good.

[B]

So what I want to know two things. What point do you decide? I got to get myself cleaned up, cuz also. And. And you're running with the jacket, I guess. Guys, Ryan's gone. Yeah, really got it. Like, you're. You're in a circle of, like, how do you get away from that and. And keep yourself clean? And at what point do you make amends with mom?

[A]

So the way I ended up getting away from that is. And it's a common theme in my life is that my addiction becomes so overly bearing that, you know, anything that tries to get between me and a bag of heroin or whatever drug I'm inserting, search of must and will go. And it's never personal. It's just business, right? So in doing that, I ruin a lot of relationships, and people then have to create a distance. So it wasn't easy for. It wasn't hard for people to be like, dude, just. Just don't come back. Don't. So, you know, bam. Everyone felt that it was best to just stay the away. And I burned those bridges. And what happened that played a big part in my life is. Is. Is one day at all those attempts, right? Thirteen treatment centers later, 13. I lost count of outpatients and detoxes. My mother bought me a plot. People took life insurance.

[B]

She really did.

[A]

Yeah, I have. Where she went right over right off Eastern Avenue. Right, right. Let's see what's the. It's, it's out on Eastern Avenue going by like East Point Mall. But before you get to East Point Mall on that right hand side, it's that big, that big one.

[B]

The cemetery there.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So we have two plots there, which I've decided I'm gonna be cremated. So if anyone out there wants to buy a plot, I will sell you. I'm not even, that's not even a joke. I swear to God. You can buy my plot if you like and I'll donate the money to, to a charity. Mark my words.

[B]

You've had some people, you've had to.

[A]

People plug some. But how about a plug?

[B]

Nobody ever plugged a God goddamn cemetery plot before.

[A]

I will sell you mine.

[B]

Hit him up if y' all need a forever rest in place for 50.

[A]

Cent on the dollar. Cuz I'm not, I'm not even going to use it. I'm not even going to use it. Give it to someone, man. Save a life. I'll donate that money to, to a scholarship fund for someone to get recovery. But anyways, you know, at the end of my addiction, I'm like this 38 year old homeless heroin addiction who wants to kill himself on a daily basis, but I'm fucking terrified to hurt myself in the process. I'm in this weird purgatory state where I'm terrible at suicide because I just keep waking up. Right. And I, I just don't know what direction I'm going in. I continue to try to get sober and, and I think that it's not working. But life for me today is live forward and learn backwards. And it's all in retrospect. And, and, and what happened was on May 20, 25th, 2015, I was divinely inconvenienced in a way that like my higher power showed up and created a big enough gap between me and the last speedball that I stuck into my arm.

[B]

Please share this because this is what I always want to know. Because when you hear about addiction, I mean you're prostituting now. Yeah, you're, you've gotten to the lowest of the lows. And you would think that this only leads to death. And there's no way this guy Brandon Novak's going to turn it around.

[A]

And it generally does lead to death.

[B]

Death.

[A]

Right. Oh, yeah, like if.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

If you look at the statistics, the studies given, the analytics collected of doing this data all over the world, like the cold hard numbers statistics state that any addict or a person in recovery should be high or dead. Right. The fact that I'm not is. Is miraculous.

[B]

Also, living off the Baltimore city streets like that's insane. So what? So is the divine inconvenience.

[A]

So what happens is, is you'll appreciate this. So at the end of my run, my mother serves me with a restraining order. And I'm leaving her house in Little Italy and I'm walking up towards Perkins projects and in my hand I have everything that I own. Every 38 year old man had already written this book. Insanely successful Viva la Bam jackass skateboarding career. Now I'm a 38 year old man and all I own is eight scarfs, two jacks, jackets, three socks, a stick of deodorant, three socks, three socks, a needle, a spoon and a restraining order and a passport. And it all fits into this bag, doubles as my pillow. And I'm walking up the street and I have nowhere to go. No one to call, no one looking for me, no one waiting for me.

[B]

You gonna buy Sabatinos or Vacaros over there?

[A]

Well, I'm going up towards Perkins to the opposite way. The project.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like towards Easter Avenue. And. And this, my phone goes off and it's this woman and she said, I read your book and it saved my life.

[B]

Nah.

[A]

And I.

[B]

Right at this time, yeah, it was.

[A]

A dm, but it gets better. And she says, what do you say about all exclusive pay trip to Fort Lauderdale? And I'm like, that's great. I need some heroin, some cocaine, some Xanax and wine. She says, no problem. Red flag number one. My book saved her life, but she's going to give me substances that kill mine. But I don't give a. Because I don't even want my life. And I do a little research and I find out she lives in a hotel. Not a good luck. A little bit more research prevails. She's like a. A lady of the night or a dancer. Two things I have no problem with. I've seen me become both since you.

[B]

Hung out when you were kids. You hung out when you were kids?

[A]

Yeah. That is a full circle. Dad's finally proud, so. But she has two requirements that I must fulfill. She's flying me to Fort Lauderdale. Lauderdale. She's buying my drugs, she's paying for everything. And when I get there, she wants to she wants to party and she wants to. And now when I do heroin, I do neither. Right. I just sleep and I, I know I'm gonna wear my welcome out really quick, but nonetheless she has what I need. I don't want to go to Fort Lauderdale, but my disease, it's like you, when you want to, I'll ask you when I want to know something. Till then you go actually act accordingly. So before I go to hop on this flight, I go cop from the boys. Now I at this time I have a pair of like dress slacks on that were nice if you overlook the cigarette hole burns. But I'm homeless. I don't have underwear on, right. And, and I have this button up shirt and I have this pair of shoes on with one shoestring because I lost the other shoestring along the way while shooting up. Right.

[B]

So just.

[A]

Yeah. So to give you a visual of, of what I, what I'm looking looking like. So I go to cop before I get on this flight to Fort Lauderdale because I don't want to get sick. And when I go to cop from the boys, they rob me instead of serve me. And when they rob me, they rip my front and my back pockets completely out. Now my dick and my ass are completely exposed. They rip my shirt open. And the only button that stays button is this very top button. And I got these shoes on with one shoestring. And I'm now roaming the streets of East Baltimore looking like a gay, like a gay East LA cholo gang bang her. And all I own is eight scarves, two jackets, three socks, deodorant, needle spooners, I can't change. And I'm on again, a timeline. These timelines.

[B]

No.

[A]

And I gotta get to the airport.

[B]

You're going to bwi. Like bwi.

[A]

No to fly to Fort Lauderdale to get the dope from the stripper that lives in the hotel. Right. And, and I'm glad you find my device so funny here.

[B]

Dude, you're taking your ass around. You're still considering. I'm getting. Let's wrap a jacket around.

[A]

I have eight scar. I do have the two jackets. I do have the two jackets, but that I wasn't there. I have two jackets, but that's. Yeah. So. So I rushed to BWI airport. You still go, right? I go. I, I don't have that. See, at this point in my addiction I've lost the luxury to have a say so in my life. And I anymore, right. Like I can't weigh out. Like this is not a safe decision that Might be good for me to make. I might want to sit this one out. That's not what the like. And, and that's why I keep my story very honest. Because the moment I forget the pain that brought me in to that last treatment center, begging for one more chance. It's not a matter of if, but when. History repeats itself. And I've seen it happen throughout my 22 year addiction. So this is just like, I understand me really well now. So I get to the airport and two things I've learned in my career prior to this point, I will never win an argument with a judge or a TSA airport security agent. I get up to the counter and the woman takes one look at me and she said, Mr. Novak, are you under the influence of anything? And I said, absolutely not. She said, I believe you are. And you will not fly for three days. Not like the next flight or tomorrow morning. Three days. I did not want to get on that flight. My heart was beating 50 miles an hour like I shot 20 kilos of coke. Like I knew that if I got on that flight, I'd probably end up in that plot that my mother bought. I knew it like I could predict my future. I had become a psychic. I did not want to get on it, but I couldn't. Not because I can't control my behaviors at that point. And, and, and I get out of that line because they refuse me access to the flight. And I go to the corner and I call, call one of the sponsors I acquired at one of my many what I thought were failed attempts at treatment. And I said, lex, I'm stranded at BWI airport and I want to kill myself. And he said, no, what you're going to do is you're going to get on a train. I'm going to buy you a ticket. You're going to get on the next train and you're going to come to Philadelphia and some people are going to come pick you up. And now what I didn't know then that I know now is that God showed up in the form of a TSA airport security agent and did for me what I was incapable of doing for myself, which was deny me access to my demise. And, and, and, and, and I got on that train. I went to Philly. And in the beginning, in the beginning, when I would go to those rehabs, they were like a house full of. A building full of my fathers. So I'm like you, all of you. I went, you. And now at the end, those people are going to leave their cookout Doubts they're going to leave their loved ones, their families, Memorial Day 2015, and come pick up this hopeless, helpless alcoholic who's been deemed unhelpable and unfixable. And you let me stay with you. You take me. I had to see another story. I just have time to get into. I had to see my parole officer. The final morning, the following morning, which is in my mind, I thought I was going to be able to make this flight to Fort Lauderdale, get the shit, come back and produce a clean urine for my parole officer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I believe that that was the reality, which is why I was dressed like. That's why I had the button up shirt on, the slacks and, and like a nice pair of dress shoes and, and, and, and they, my sponsor refused to allow any of those people to give me a change of clothes because he's cut from that cloth. You never get between an alcoholic in their bottom. You allow them to feel the repercussions from their actions. Because I don't change when shit's unmanageable. Unmanageability to me is a Monday morning cup of tea. You will only get my attention when the pain becomes unbelievable, unbearable. And I had been placed in this position where the pain had finally become unbearable. And, and I go to the same treatment center I've been to four previous times out of my 13 attempts. And previously I'd sit in the same chair with the same intake coordinator and she'd say, okay, Mr. Novak, your insurance will cover you for 90 days. And every time without fail. My counter offer to her offer was, in theory, 90 days sounds great, but in reality, I'm more of like a 45 day ish kind of guy. I have women to do, places to go, people to see. Memorial Day 2015. I had finally been beaten into a state of reasonableness. I had been demoralized in just such a fashion as a direct result of my addiction. That, that, that, that space that had been created for me to see what my life really looked like was. At 38 years old, I look back at every one of my attempts and rec. Recognize that I am the common denominator in every one of my problems. And maybe if I just get the fuck out of my way, I might stand a chance. And, and it all hit me like a ton of bricks. And I'm not even like in the detox yet. And she's trying and she says, same offer. No, Mr. Novak, 90 days. For the first time in my life, I couldn't come back with a counter offer. I had literally Been beaten speechless by my disease and thank God all I could do was shake my head yes. Because if I said no, it entailed an explanation and couldn't talk, I was so just beaten. And she said, sweetheart, you're in no condition. Let's get you up to detox. We'll finish this in about a week or so. And I take my eight scarves, two jackets, three socks, gay east la cholo gang banger outfit and I'm walking up to the detox and there's this 22 year old tech who's always there and he said, Mr. Novak, you're back. And I said, aren't you a fucking genius, boy? You don't, you don't miss a beep, do you? And now this is a treatment center that cost me $2 to get, get into, right? Like I'm, I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I'm at the place in life where people are like no one can get sober there, right? Like I am burnt every resource known to man. And I walk in and he said, Mr. Novak, I regret to inform you, but your clothes are not rehab oriented. You need some sweatpants, you need some underwear, you need some slides and, and I had heard those caught like sober people say, like a grateful alcoholic will never do drink again, Grateful addict won't use again. And it didn't make sense until it made sense. And the day that it made sense is when I had this 22 year old boy take me to the basement of this Catholic Charities rehab that I just spent $2 to get into. And there's no electricity in this basement and I'm, I'm detoxing and, and he makes me hold his phone and the lights on and, and he's digging through this cardboard box that's like splitting at the seams from like the air and just wet kind of dampness and, and he's looking for used under underwear. And in my mind I'm praying to God that he finds that for me. Underwear, right? Despite all this successful, he's looking for use and I'm praying to God that he finds them that grateful all of a sudden.

[B]

Grateful alcohol used underwear. We're going to be stuck donated you.

[A]

I'm praying to God and he doesn't find them, but what he does find is a pair of size 40 women's sweatpants with no drawers, string, a woman's tank top and a pair of size 13 Jesus sandals. I don't know for anyone out there paying attention, but I am not a woman and I do not wear a size 13. And at that moment in my life where I never believed that my life could have ever gotten any worse, two things were taking place that were forever going to change my life, as I said, knew it. Prior to this date, the one thing I consistently kept throughout my life was one job. And this job consisted of knowing everything, right? It always placed me in positions I didn't like to be in, and it allowed me to feel feelings I didn't like to feel. You know, you tell me what I need to do. I tell you I need to off. Because I know you suggest to me what I need to do to save my life. I suggest, why you off? And I'm standing in the basement, this Catholic charities rehab. There's no electricity. This kid, kid, this boy is handing me used women's clothing and shoes that were not meant for my feet. And right there at that moment, I came to the realization that, you know, what I do know is that I don't have a clue. Despite all the. That I've done in my life. My very best thinking has me in a weird basement with some weird boy as he's giving me clothes. And I'm grateful. And the second thing that happened, and I didn't know this, that it happened at the time. Time, but again, life is live forward and learn backwards. At that time, when he handed me the clothes that were not meant for me, I was overcome with a sense of willingness unlike anything a human has ever or will ever produce. And what I know to be true today is that at that exact moment, I met the God of my understanding face to face as a direct result of that gift of desperation. And my pain became my purpose. Purpose. And I was. Took the women's clothes.

[B]

I was gonna say, did you ever think, you meet that guy dressed like a lady, dressed like a woman?

[A]

And I paid $2 for it. Who's the real boar here.

[B]

Dude?

[A]

I go upstairs, and I'd never been so excited to get that Baltimore City smell off me. I get a shower, and I put these women's clothing on with pride.

[B]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

And I stayed in there, and I stayed in there for 90 days. And I started to acquire some information, understand the reality of the disease that I suffer with in the severity of my situation. I stopped deflecting it. I stopped minimizing it. I stopped justifying it. I became completely aware of the part that I played in it. A lot of those people got those calls that you received from those exes and said, look, this is what I did wrong. How can I Write that I paid off a lot of debts. I had a lot of financial amends. I had people in Baltimore looking to kill me. I've paid that off and become very close friends with these people. And. And.

[B]

And I'm like, that was day one.

[A]

Yeah. No, no, that. That. That is a whole, like, first.

[B]

That's the beginning. All right.

[A]

Yeah. All right. And. And I. I stay in that sober living house for nine. I mean, I stay in that treatment for 90 days, and from there I go live in a sober living house. And. And nine months into my process of sobriety, my mother, the woman who. Who I love more than anything in this world, who. Who served me with a restraining order, who would go to church in literally across street from her house and pray to God for him to cure me or kill me because she couldn't take anymore. The one who bought me a plot. The woman who sold three homes to pay for me to go to two different treatment centers when all it cost.

[B]

Was $2 and some women's clothes.

[A]

And she called me and she said, brad, Brandon, I hate when you come back to visit me. And I said, why? And she said, because I get so sad when you leave.

[B]

That's nice.

[A]

You know, Got a good mom. She. She's the MVP of my story.

[B]

Come on. She's put up with your dad, you, all of it. I mean, that's.

[A]

I. I live for my mother now. Every Saturday, the highlight of my week.

[B]

Is she go to the church right there by the bocce courts.

[A]

Right there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I go every Saturday. Saturday, I go in the. I just. I just bought. I just bought a house in Greenville, Delaware.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I'm closer to Baltimore, so I. I go down. I skate in the morning.

[B]

I still skate.

[A]

Yeah. For my mental health, to quiet this down, I skate. I take her to the five o' clock service. We carry the communion down the aisle. The same place she used to pray for my death. We now, like, take the communion down and then I take her to dinner. Last week, I took her to the Captain James. The boat right there. Yeah, the boat where you get cheese steaks. And it's the highlight of my week.

[B]

You know, from there, by the sipping bite. I love Baltimore, dude. I'm such a homer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we could talk for 10 hours.

[A]

We could.

[B]

Man, I know we got to get you out of here. Was an hour and a half already. You got to go.

[A]

I love this. Yeah. But my life has gotten exponentially better, way better than I could have ever imagined. And today I devote my life Literally to helping people who are where I was. I own seven sober living houses that I provide scholarships for and raise a lot of money to to pay for people because I refuse to let price be a deterior as to why someone can't receive adequate care. Those are Novak's Houses in Wilmington, Delaware. And then two treatment centers, Redemption Addiction Treatment Centers, Wilmington, Delaware, Pennsville, New Jersey. So if anyone out there is struggling, call me directly. 610-314674.

[B]

Dude, what a great story. I know. It's still going. You're still writing it. Yeah. Before we wrap up, advice you'd give to 16 year old Brandon Nova.

[A]

You know, the truth of the matter is I don't believe I'd give him any because I believe I went through what I went through to become the man that I am today, which is the child of God. I've always been in service, search of. Therefore, my objective from when I wake up to when I go to bed is how can I make my brothers or sisters, who are all God's children and humanity as a whole, a better place to be in. And I wouldn't have got to this place if I didn't go to the depths of hell. So for me, I wouldn't have changed my narrative or my script to this point in the least bit because I believe that I'm blessed. And I just want to make today a little better. Yesterday for me, for someone else. Because that's recovery thinking a little less about me and a little more about you.

[B]

Hell yeah, dude. Great episode, man. Thank you.

[A]

I love you, brother. I've been so looking forward to coming here.

[B]

It's been great. Before we wrap up, one more time, promote whatever you want right there. All of it.

[A]

Streets of Baltimore. More importantly, Redemption Addiction Treatment Center. I'm there every day. I run the 9am group in Delaware. I run the 1pm group in New Jersey. If you want to come be a part of my experience, reach out to us directly. 610-314-6747. Redemption Addiction Treatment Center.

[B]

Boom. There it is. Thank you so much.

[A]

God bless, man.

[B]

Great to have you on as always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to y' all next week. Sam.