Transcript

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Summary

The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler

Episode 363: Phil Hanley Doesn’t Like Having Things Thrown at Him
Release Date: December 8, 2025
Guest: Phil Hanley
Main Theme: Laughing at life’s lowlights—Phil Hanley’s journey with dyslexia, OCD, and self-worth

Episode Overview

Ryan Sickler welcomes comedian Phil Hanley for a candid conversation about growing up and living with dyslexia, finding humor through adversity, and how his experiences with learning disabilities, OCD, and social struggles became fuel for resilience and creativity. The episode explores how setbacks and stigma in youth led Hanley toward unexpected growth, culminating in a career in comedy and the publication of his memoir, Spellbound.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Origins: Their First Connection and Stand-Up Beginnings

Phil reminisces about cold-calling Ryan (06:15–07:59) years back for advice before his first U.S. TV appearance on Craig Ferguson, recounting:

“You gave me great advice and it helped my set… you just told me the lay of the land.” (Phil, 07:13)
Ryan recalls strict network rules: (08:03–09:32)

“They told me I couldn’t say ‘Jesus’ even though I was using it as an exclamation. Couldn’t talk about death or dying. A lot of my sets were about that…” (Ryan, 08:05)

2. Growing Up with Dyslexia

Early Struggles in School:
- First indications in Grade 1; teacher quickly labeled him “slow” (12:52–13:42).
- Constantly compared to peers and placed in special ed.
- Mother advocated fiercely, saving his self-esteem.
What Dyslexia Feels Like (10:51–12:44):

“Any word I read is a word that I have memorized. If I’ve never seen it, it might as well be a Japanese symbol.” (Phil, 11:05)
“They’d have me read text and I’d get zero. They’d read it to me and I’d get 100%. And I’d be like, ‘there, don’t make me read!’ They were still baffled!” (Phil, 15:26)
Lasting Impact and Late Diagnosis:
- Didn’t get proper support until final year of high school.
- “It was hell all the way through…” (Phil, 17:25)
The Special Ed Teacher Difference:

“Mr. Armstrong…he was so cool. We’d sit and he’d help me. I got great grades after that. You motherfuckers tortured me all this time, and it was just because you didn’t try.” (Phil, 17:42)

3. Life Beyond School: Modeling, Comedy, and Coping

Skipped college, tried modeling in Europe:

“I was fine about my appearance until I started modeling and realized—oh shit, I’m really skinny…but there was a heroin chic thing. They wanted guys with long hair and skinny.” (Phil, 20:00)
Never felt like he fit in; modeling made him self-conscious, comedy finally felt natural.

4. Dyslexia’s Everyday Challenges and Hacks

Adult workarounds:
- Extreme planning and double-checking logistics (e.g., writing addresses by hand and triple-checking before inputting into Uber) (21:20–22:28).
- “It’s like a Navy SEAL operation. I have everything ready by the door…” (Phil, 21:46)
Driving and Navigation:
- Avoids driving due to difficulty reading street signs and depth perception issues.
“I can [drive], but it’s pretty death-defying…” (Phil, 22:44)
- GPS is a life changer: “It is an absolute game changer for people with dyslexia.” (Phil, 23:39)

5. Family, Genetics, and Social Support

Mother & Father’s roles:
- Mother: calm advocate, did homework with him, always by his side.
- Father: aggressive defender, inspired his sense of self-worth (35:22–36:51).
Genetic aspects:
- Dyslexia runs in families, although Phil’s sister was unaffected; suspects his father had mild symptoms (23:53–24:44).

6. Social Skills and the Value of Humor

Found social praise through wit rather than grades or athletic performance:

“The two people that were celebrated [in my town] were smart-asses and people that were good at fighting. I was a smart-ass.” (Phil, 25:28)
- Recess was his comedy stage.
- Being funny at family dinners more valued than grades.

7. On Comedy Craft & Technology

Messy, personalized writing process:
- Writes out ideas, types them (misspelled), rewrites, brings lists on stage—very inefficient but necessary.
Technology helps:
- Ryan suggests using AI/chatbots for spelling help.
- “I’m just using Google Maps, man. I’ve just got into Google Maps. I’m so many years from chat GPT.” (Phil, 26:41)

8. Writing the Memoir: Spellbound

A Dyslexic Writing a Book:

“Very slowly. It took me eight years.” (Phil, 27:34)
“The whole book was so daunting…by the end, I realized if it wasn’t for dyslexia, all the things I cherish in my life are attached to that.” (Phil, 31:18)

9. Mental Health: OCD, ADHD, and Medication

Co-morbidities:
- ADHD frequently occurs with dyslexia. OCD too—Phil shares both.
OCD Symptoms and Fears:
- Checking locks, stoves, taps—sometimes to the point of daily life impairment (39:02–40:47).
- “Why is everyone else not spending the afternoon checking the burners…” (Phil, 39:17)
- Talks about rituals and how they faded over time, sometimes with the help of cognitive behavioral therapy and meditation (48:14–50:45).
Medication Struggles:
- SSRIs and other meds made him feel worse, led to periods of depression and moving back home as an adult (41:08–45:10).
- Stand-up comedy and meditation helped stabilize him after discontinuing meds.

10. Adulthood, Acceptance, and Gratitude

Now off all medication, managing conditions via routine and mindfulness.
Sees dyslexia and earlier pain as key to who he is.

“All the life experience that you think at the time…there’s no upside to this—miraculously, there is.” (Phil, 66:21)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On struggling in school:

“First grade teacher just thought I was done…investigated it for about seven seconds and treated me terribly.” (Phil, 12:52)
On schoolwork as a dyslexic:

“They would have me read a page of text and then try to answer questions—zero. They’d read it to me—100%. There, we got it: don’t make me read!” (Phil, 15:26)
On OCD rituals:

“Why is everyone else not spending the afternoon checking the burners on the stove?” (Phil, 39:17)
“It seems like the most important thing in the world…give it a minute, it’ll be fine." (Phil, 40:47)
On comedy saving him:

“Stand-up totally saved me…It was really dark to be depressed and to be misdiagnosed…But I was just dedicated to doing five shows a week in Vancouver.” (Phil, 45:04–45:37)
On gratitude:

“All the things that I cherish in my life are attached to the fact that I’m dyslexic.” (Phil, 31:18)
On parental advice:

“All you have to do is maintain their self-esteem—which is no easy task.” (Phil, 35:22)
“If you maintain their self-esteem when they get out of school, they’ll excel because they’re not [broken].” (Phil, 36:05)

Important Timestamps

First meaningful interaction between Phil & Ryan: 06:15–07:59
What dyslexia is like for Phil: 10:51–12:44
Late diagnosis and educational impact: 17:22–18:48
Modeling days and “not fitting in”: 19:25–21:02
Coping with dyslexia as an adult: 21:20–22:44
OCD and rituals: 39:00–40:47
Medication/mental health nadir: 41:08–45:10
Stand-up as salvation: 45:04
Dyslexia’s life-long impact: 31:29 & 62:14
Advice to parents of dyslexic children: 63:55–65:27
Advice to 16-year-old self: 66:16–67:35

Advice for Listeners

For Parents/Those Supporting Dyslexic Kids

Maintain your kid’s self-esteem above all else. Academic struggles are not a reflection of intelligence or ability.
Advocate fiercely: Be their champion through a system designed for others.
Know it gets better: Once out of the school environment, those same kids “will excel at something.”

For Young Phil Hanley (and Others in Similar Shoes)

“Hold tight—all this shit will pay off. All the life experience you think has no upside…there is.” Your hardships become your humor, your resilience, and the foundation for your future success.

Tone and Style Highlights

The conversation is honest, self-deprecating, and laced with comedic relief—as is fitting for a storytelling podcast about life’s hardships. Both Ryan and Phil openly share their own neuroses and struggles, creating a sense of camaraderie and understanding for listeners with similar backgrounds.

In Summary

This heartfelt episode is a laugh-so-you-don’t-cry meditation on learning differences, resilience, and the unpredictable ways pain seeds growth. Phil Hanley embodies the HoneyDew ethos: “these are the stories behind the storytellers.” Whether recounting dark days in special ed, panic at the stove, or the struggle of writing a memoir when reading itself is an obstacle, Phil’s wit and gratitude come through—and remind us it’s okay, and even necessary, to celebrate stumbling through the hard parts.

Socials:

Phil Hanley: @philhanley
Ryan Sickler: @ryansickler

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363: Phil Hanley Doesn’t Like Having Things Thrown at Him | HoneyDew Podcast #363