364: Mike Lawrence | The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler #364 | Full Episode

Summary

The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler

Episode 364: Mike Lawrence | Released December 15, 2025

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Overview

This episode of The HoneyDew features comedian and writer Mike Lawrence, known for his sharp wit, deep nerd culture knowledge, and recently, for being open about his late-in-life autism diagnosis and journey into fatherhood through adoption. True to the show’s mission of "highlighting the lowlights," Mike and Ryan dig into Mike’s turbulent family life, the quirks and challenges of neurodivergence, the perils (and peculiar comforts) of retail jobs, and the complexities of building a life and identity from unconventional pieces.
The conversation balances humor and honesty, especially as Mike shares the candid, often absurd moments of growing up with an alcoholic father, the grind of minimum-wage work, nerd obsessions, and his path to parenthood.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Mike’s Background: Divorce, Absurdity & Origin Stories

• Mike’s parents divorced when he was about three and a half; his memories start after the split. His father was an alcoholic, even in the hospital when Mike was born.
  • “I'm such a comic book nerd that even my birth is an origin story.” (11:03, Mike)
• Family logistics: Older brother (from same parents) and younger half-sister (from mom’s second marriage).
• A particularly surreal memory: after mom’s wedding to Mike’s stepdad, he and his brother were picked up by their father at a Denny’s parking lot for visitation.
  • “Yeah, moons over my daddy. But they're going on their honeymoon. Yeah, honeymoon's over. Miami.” (14:00, Mike)

2. Childhood with an Alcoholic Dad: Early Exposure to AA & Its Effects

• Recalls being five years old at AA meetings with his brother, taking the Serenity Prayer hand-in-hand with adults.
  • “If you don’t want someone to drink, take them to AA meetings when they’re five.” (16:05, Mike)
  • Developed lifelong aversion to alcohol—Mike has had only two beers in his life.

3. Comedy in the Family Tree

• Mike’s mother was a comedian in the 1980s, though never famous; ran a short-lived NPR show with cameos from Mike and his brother.
• Talks about inheriting a love for comedy from his mom and a sweet tooth from his dad:
  • “If I'm going to be a comic like my mom, I can't be an alcoholic like my dad, and I have no identity of my own.” (18:46, Mike)

4. Working-Class Realities: The McDonald’s Era

• Mike worked at McDonald’s in Florida from age 16 up until almost 24.
  • “Get that, get that. The younger you are, to know that you don't matter and nothing is beneath you.” (19:44, Mike)
• Pay barely increased: $5.25/hour in 1999 to $6.45/hour eight years later, mostly due to government mandates.
• Vivid depiction of customers and coworkers, including the account of a customer refusing a Black Barbie Happy Meal toy in overtly racist fashion.
• Commented sharply on generational shifts and lack of early work experience among current societal leadership.
  • “The country is now being run by people who didn’t work in high school. And it shows.” (20:00, Mike)

5. Action Figure Addiction & Nerd Culture

• Mike’s podcast Nerd of Mouth explores such topics as Looney Tunes’ disappearance, Stan Lee’s reputation, and how “nerd” is far more universal than the stereotype.
  • “Just about everyone we called a nerd growing up was an undiagnosed autistic person for the most part.” (07:08, Mike)
• "Crippling" action figure collecting traced to discovering credit cards/Ebay in early 2000s; Mike racked up massive debt on nostalgia:
  • “We are the first generation that can buy our past.” (24:14, Mike)
• His collecting is about the dopamine of unboxing and play, not resale value or sealed collectibles.
  • “Everything's out of the box. It's the dopamine rush of opening.” (29:39, Mike)

6. Autism Diagnosis in Adulthood

• Mike was diagnosed at age 38, prompted by the desire to be the best parent possible and recognizing challenges with socialization—especially in light of the adoption process.
  • “I need to be the best version of myself for him. I don't know how to socialize. I want to be able to do that for his teachers.” (40:17, Mike)
• The process involved a psychological evaluation, detailed family and childhood questionnaire, and getting parents’ input.
• Mike’s mother felt defensive, as if the diagnosis critiqued her parenting; his late father more readily admitted his own eccentricity and probable neurodivergence.
• Diagnosis framed much of Mike’s life in a productive new light:
  • “If you do get the diagnosis, it's your responsibility now to be a better person. And if you know who you are, you have to. That's the hard part.” (57:07, Mike)
• He uses a system (e.g. “I’m at a 2 out of 5”) to communicate sensory overload and avoid shutdown in stressful situations.

7. Relationships, Love, and Parenthood through Adoption

• After a difficult road with fertility (low sperm count, Crohn’s disease for Mike, fibroids for his wife), adoption brought further trials, including two disrupted matches before finally adopting their son from Florida.
• Mike candidly talks about imposter syndrome in parenting, especially with a Black/white (biracial) adopted child, and the social challenges that can arise.
  • “It was really rough, like, the first year and a half. But now he can say daddy, and he treats me like a father.” (67:13, Mike)
• He emphasizes “all that matters is time”—the presence and engagement, not extravagant gestures.
  • “My main job is to keep my son safe. And one of those things is to keep him from being cynical for as long as possible... Every day that he wakes up happy, you know, he'll wake me up at 6 in the morning... and it's a beautiful feeling.” (36:11, Mike)
• On sports and interests:
  • “You better like what they like and love what they love. It's not about you. It's about them.” (30:58, Jesse Ventura, quoted by Mike)

8. Reflections on Generational Change, Parenting, and Acceptance

• Comparing his childhood with his son’s, Mike expresses pride that his son’s growing up so differently—for one, “He’s already out of Florida.”
• Ryan and Mike mutually reflect on their roles as parents, the changes from their own upbringings, and letting their children follow their own passions.
• Mike’s advice to his younger self:
  • “You’re going to have good days and you’re going to have bad days and you don’t know who you are. But the people that love you know who you are and they accept you for who you are—and that’s what matters.” (70:32, Mike)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On the power of nostalgia and collecting:
“We are the first generation that can buy our past.”
— Mike Lawrence (24:14)

On being a 'nerd':
“Just about everyone we called a nerd growing up was an undiagnosed autistic person for the most part.”
— Mike Lawrence (07:08)

Parenthood and presence:
“My main job is to keep my son safe. And one of those things is to keep him from being cynical for as long as possible, because that’s its own state…Every day that he wakes up happy…it’s a beautiful feeling.”
— Mike Lawrence (36:11)

Parenting adopted children:
“He’s just like, the most amazing little dude... At two weeks into my son being alive, he’s already out of Florida.”
— Mike Lawrence (65:25/65:28)

Advice to his younger self:
“You don’t know who you are. But the people who love you know who you are and they accept you for who you are and that’s what matters.”
— Mike Lawrence (70:32)

On social expectations at work:
“Why are we spending 10 minutes on talking about lunch? Let's just put our orders in and work. I would rather, like, get stuff done, go home earlier than be in the culture of an office if I can help it.”
— Mike Lawrence (58:44)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [05:43] Mike introduces Nerd of Mouth podcast
• [10:11] Mike’s early family life, parents’ divorce
• [16:05] Attending AA with his father as a child
• [19:25] Working at McDonald's as a teenager and young adult
• [24:00] Credit cards, buying his past on eBay
• [28:09] McFarlane toys and action figure collecting
• [38:12] Being diagnosed with autism as an adult
• [47:05] Getting family input on his neurodivergence
• [61:57] Meeting his wife, dating, and marriage
• [62:26] Adoption process and challenges
• [66:04] Navigating identity as a parent to a biracial adopted child
• [70:16] Advice to his younger self

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Tone and Style

The episode flows as a warm, confessional conversation, often irreverent, but deeply empathetic. Both Mike and Ryan use self-deprecating humor to discuss pain, growth, and parental purpose. The tone is bluntly honest, funny, and often poignant—true to The HoneyDew’s “highlighting the lowlights” mission.

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Episode Takeaways

• Childhood hardship and adult adversity can foster empathy, reflection, and unique perspectives.
• Parenthood is about presence, investment, and acceptance—not perfection or shared genetics.
• Late-in-life self-understanding (autism, in this case) can reframe a life’s story with new compassion.
• Nerd passions can provide lifelong comfort, connection, and sometimes debt—but the joy is real.

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Further Listening

• Learn more about Mike Lawrence via his podcast [Nerd of Mouth].
• Ryan Sickler’s Patreon-exclusive episodes spotlight wild listener stories in a similar “lowlights” fashion.

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End of summary.

Transcript

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Mike Lawrence]

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[Mike Lawrence]

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[Mike Lawrence]

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[Ryan Sickler]

Hmm, it's got to be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

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[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at AM pm.

[Mike Lawrence]

I'm seeing a pattern here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well yeah, we're talking about what I.

[Mike Lawrence]

Crave, which is anything from AM pm.

[Ryan Sickler]

What more could you want? Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience AM PM Too much. Good stuff Guys. I want to say thank you very much. We hit over a million views on Live and Alive. Thank you we for supporting it. Thank you for watching it. If you haven't yet, go watch it. Share it with your friends. Comment like all that stuff. Live and Alive streaming now on my YouTube. Thank you guys so much for your support.

[Mike Lawrence]

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler.

[Ryan Sickler]

Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'.

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All.

[Ryan Sickler]

We're over here doing it in the night Pan Studios. I am Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler.com Ryan Sickler on all Your social media. And listen, guys, thank you. Thank you for supporting this show. If you watch this far and you haven't subscribed, hit subscribe, help the channel out. And if you got to have more than you got to have the Patreon, it's called the Honeydew with you all. We've been doing it now for years. There are hundreds of episodes. It's still five bucks a month. All right? And it is this show with y'. All. All right? It's the wildest show on Patreon. And. And if you or someone you know has a story that has to be heard, please submit it to [e-mail] hopefully we get to do an episode together. If you sent it before, bump it again to the top. We get a lot. We go through them. We want to do your story. All right. That's the biz. You guys know what we do here? We highlight the lowlights. And I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. I am very excited to have this guest on with us here. First time on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Lawrence. Welcome to the Honeydew. Mike Lawrence.

[Mike Lawrence]

Thanks, man. How are you?

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm great. It's good to see. It's good to see you.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Before we get into what we're gonna talk about today, please promote everything you'd like.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, I mean, just. I have a podcast called Nerd of Mouth that I co host with two other guys, and we go deep into nerd culture. We did an episode about how the Looney Tunes basically got killed. You know, I mean, I think that that Acme, you know, Wiley Coyote movie is now going to finally get released. But, you know, Warner Brothers, which owns hbo, you know, Warner Brothers is Looney Tunes to a generation of us. They got rid of all the cartoons, so we talked about that.

[Ryan Sickler]

I know. I try to look them all up. I have to watch a lot of stuff on YouTube with my daughter.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. We did an episode about the trial of Stan Lee. People hate him and why and does he deserve it. And we did a. An episode that. That is near and dear to my heart. And I think it's something we'll talk about. But, you know, I was diagnosed with autism, and I go into all of the specifics of being autistic, the symptoms, my diagnosis, all that stuff, which I'm happy to do some of that today, but. But that was.

[Ryan Sickler]

So we're using nerd as a verb, and we're just going die hard on these subjects. Basically. Well, nerd is not just Dungeons and Dragons or typical things you think of.

[Mike Lawrence]

Know, nerds, so to speak, but basically just about everyone.

[Ryan Sickler]

Sports nerd. Everyone's a nerd of something.

[Mike Lawrence]

But just about everyone we called a nerd growing up was an undiagnosed autistic person for the most part. You know, like you watch Family Matters now and it's like, it's just a cop being mean to a nerd who doesn't know how to communicate to his daughter.

[Ryan Sickler]

My math teacher that wore the pocket protector and all that.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, because he was afraid he couldn't protect himself from his own feelings. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

I wish I could go back and say that to him leaving a class one day.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, well, he's probably dead now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, no, he's alive.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, nice. I was gonna say nicely folded news.

[Ryan Sickler]

Alive. Let me ask you this before we get to your story about your podcast. Great, Great title.

[Mike Lawrence]

Thanks, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

What's something that you guys nerded out on that you had no idea and you're like, yeah. And now you're, you know, really interested or maybe just surprised to find out about.

[Mike Lawrence]

We did an epis about how to get into anime because I've never watched anime. I didn't get it. The other two guys are massive experts on anime. And I was like, I just don't understand it. And it has taken over a lot of, you know, popular culture. And I have, you know, a young, very young kid who's probably going to get into anime. And I want to be able to, you know, love the stuff that he does. And so it was cool. Like they recommended me stuff, and then our audience recommended me stuff. And some people told me that I was racist towards Japanese people. And just cause I am doesn't mean.

[Ryan Sickler]

Ignorance and racism are two different things in my body.

[Mike Lawrence]

It was funny at the beginning of the episode. Like one of the guys was like, well, how come you never got in the anime? And I was like, my great. You know, my grandpa fought in World War II and he came back with shrapnel in his kidney. And that's why it's not like I was gonna be able to put it on in front of him.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, what are you growing up with? Looney Tunes and things like that?

[Mike Lawrence]

I don't know, but Looney Tunes, I'm 1983. So he man is slowly fading.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know, I have a Voltron in there.

[Mike Lawrence]

No, not for me. That is anime. He man is fading. You know, my brother is three years older than me. Ninja Turtles was like the first thing that felt like it was mine because that. The cartoon and everything came out in 87. I'm four years old. And, you know, Ninja Turtles is brilliant because they got all these kids to buy the same action figure four times.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're not wrong about.

[Mike Lawrence]

The bandanas are just different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. It's the laziest. But it worked. It worked on me.

[Ryan Sickler]

It worked on a lot of people.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's funny, in the original comic book that came out in 84, they all have red bandanas. And it was. It was also because it was only the covers, they would have colors. Everything. The comics themselves were black and white. But when they did the cartoon, they're like, we need purple. We need orange. And they gave the turtles, like, their own personalities and stuff, which they did not have as much in the comic books.

[Ryan Sickler]

So let's just dive into your background and your upgrade.

[Mike Lawrence]

Let's do it, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where are you from originally?

[Mike Lawrence]

I am from South Florida. I was born in Miami, mostly raised in the Fort Lauderdale area. My parents divorced when I was very young and.

[Ryan Sickler]

But I'm sorry, I'm gonna pause you there. Cause you said you have an older brother. Yeah, from same parents.

[Mike Lawrence]

Same parents.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. So you're the young. Is there any other siblings?

[Mike Lawrence]

I have a younger sister that is from my mom and my stepdad.

[Ryan Sickler]

Gotcha. Yeah. So when you say very young. Okay. How old are you when your parents actually do split?

[Mike Lawrence]

Like, three and a half. Like, I don't have any memories of them together. When I was born, my dad was such an alcoholic that he was on a different floor of the. Because he got pneumonia.

[Ryan Sickler]

No.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

He's not there to support. He's there.

[Mike Lawrence]

I'm such a comic book nerd that even my birth is an origin story.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, he's upstairs. Oh, is he getting something from my mom while she's having to be.

[Mike Lawrence]

Did it pop out of her yet? Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's crazy, dude.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. So, you know, they're like, would you like to see yours?

[Ryan Sickler]

Is he calm down on the phone? Is he there yet?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. Would you like to see your son? Does he have a beer? Oh, man. Yeah. So. And then my. I found this out. The last time I saw my dad, My dad passed away in February 2023. My dad passed away three months after my son was born. And it's like, just tell me you don't want to be a grandfather. Don't be such a diva about it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Jesus.

[Mike Lawrence]

But it was. It was. It was crazy because.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you have a close or good relationship?

[Mike Lawrence]

We did growing up.

[Ryan Sickler]

Tell me about growing up. Are they 50? 50? Are you going over to moms and dads?

[Mike Lawrence]

Is dad in the picture who we living with? I was gonna get there, so, you know. Yeah. My dad was an abusive alcoholic to my mom. And then he. He told me this before. Yeah, this is the perfect thing if you're. If you're a dad and you gotta tell your son one more thing before you die, make sure it's something like this. My dad's holding my son, who is two weeks old at the time. And I don't know if you felt this when you had a kid, but the things that people will say when they're holding a baby because of the dopamine, they're just so honest about everything. And my dad goes, you know, cheater was supposed to have. He was proud of that. No, he goes, you know, your mom was supposed to have full custody of you, but she didn't because he goes. He goes. Because she was doing a show at Coconuts Comedy Club. My mom was a comedian in the 80s. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, damn right it is.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hell yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Coconuts. It's like so perfect. 80s and he's like, coconuts Comedy Club.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is what he's saying to you, holding his grandson?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. He never told me that before.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is your mom still alive?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you go ask her about that then? No.

[Mike Lawrence]

And she'll probably find out about it. It here, so not be happy. I've never talked to her about it. I find it hilarious, you know, and she was. She's in my life.

[Ryan Sickler]

So.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, it was 50. 50 until high school, and then I was like, I want to be with my dad. I mean, the thing was, you know, my mom remarried. If anything, my mom probably cheated on him and rightfully so. He was a jerk to her.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, sure.

[Mike Lawrence]

So, you know, I have a very vivid memory of their. My mom marrying my stepdad and then walking across the street to a Denny's parking lot where our dad picked me and my brother up.

[Ryan Sickler]

What?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. You swept from that to that, huh?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah. Moon's over my daddy. But they're going on their honeymoon. Yeah, honeymoon's over. Miami.

[Ryan Sickler]

Honeymoon's over.

[Mike Lawrence]

Miami, bro.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

This is literally what every writer's writing room is. People doing puns and talking about their parents divorcing.

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[Mike Lawrence]

Visit spinquest.com for more details. Yeah, so now does your brother go.

[Ryan Sickler]

As well with dad?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, my brother goes well and, and my dad, you know, I've never really drank. I've had like two beers in my life. When I was five, I would go to AA meetings with him because he had to go every week. And sometimes he's got custody of us. And if you don't want someone to drink, take them to AA meetings when they're five. Kid, I'm holding the hands. I accept the things I cannot change.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you the only kid in there?

[Mike Lawrence]

My brother's there too. Just the two of you? That's it.

[Ryan Sickler]

I was gonna say I've never heard of children.

[Mike Lawrence]

And just it was amazing because, you know, these people are so sad. They're like, it's like, you know, they felt like they were, they. And they were, they were being punished for having too much fun. Like I remember one time someone's like, we brought cake tonight and it was carrot cake. It's like, oh, punishment cake. And you know, and Kool Aid and. Yeah, and these are often at churches or, you know, basements and stuff. And I remember my dad One time taking me over to his sponsor's house, and he had a KISS pinball machine. He's like, that was the last fun night I got to have. And I took it home with me. Yeah. It was always. Yeah. I was just. I just grew up listening to adults tell me how great their lives used to be, which my dad would often do, too. My dad was.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, that's really an interesting. Interesting sort of Scared Straight program.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, it works.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, the. That I've heard people come in who was like, hey, I'm an adult. I had to go to aa.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Those stories I heard there are crazy. The stuff that. It must be mind blowing at five.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, do you remember any of the craziness? Do you remember when I said. I remember. Stood out, though.

[Mike Lawrence]

We would sit in the back and then when it came to the amends and, you know, saying the. The thing at the end of the night. Yeah, we. We would be a part of it and hold hands and stuff. And then.

[Ryan Sickler]

Would your dad ever get up and speak?

[Mike Lawrence]

Once or twice. He quit it pretty early. He didn't like the God stuff. And. But I remember we would go. And then he'd be like, I'm sorry about that, guys. And then we'd go to Krispy Kreme. So he'd be like, here's my old addiction. I'm going to take you to my new one.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Because he just got fatter and fatter and. And I'm addicted. That's my addiction. I have a sweet tooth. I eat too much candy and donuts and stuff. So it was like, it was amazing that he passed that on to me, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

But like, mom gave you comedy. Dad gave you the sweet tooth. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

That's the thing, too. It's like, if I'm going to be a comic like my mom, I can't be an alcoholic like my dad, and I have no identity of my own.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you. I want to come back to this in a second. Your mom ever have any TV credits or anything?

[Mike Lawrence]

Not really. She had a show on NPR for a few months, a local NPR affiliate. And me and my brother would just call in to say hi every once in a while. She's like, mom's working. And then.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where are the Doritos, Mom?

[Mike Lawrence]

We just loved hearing our voices on the radio.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So let's go here. What jobs are you getting in high school? Are you working? Are you, like, getting out of the house and stuff? Or what are you doing?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. So I'm 16, and, you know, my Dad's like, you gotta, you gotta work. And I think, you know, rich kids should work. I think every child should work. It is important the younger you are to know that you don't matter and nothing is beneath you. Get that. Get that.

[Ryan Sickler]

When my stepson first got his job, he was like 17, he's working at Little Caesars. And he came home one day, he's like, ryan, this guy came in today screaming. And I was like, yeah, Over a five dollar pizza. I go, welcome to the real world, buddy. Welcome to the real world, bro.

[Mike Lawrence]

The one political thing I'll say on this show, that's what's happening now, is the country is now being run by people who didn't work in high school. And it shows. Why are the food stamps disappearing? Because they don't know what they are. You know, it's like. But I worked at a McDonald's and in high school. Yeah. And when I was, well, I was in seventh grade, my dad moved from the more proper like Fort Lauderdale and we moved to a place called Davie, Davie, Florida. And we were in a trailer park called Paradise Village. And I still don't drive. I didn't drive then and I don't drive now. And There was a McDonald's 10 minute walk and I worked there. I worked there from 16 until I graduated high school. I went to college for one year in Virginia. Just got massive debt and depression and moved back. And I stayed working there until Almost I was 24 years old.

[Ryan Sickler]

At the McDonald's?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, I worked there for a long time.

[Ryan Sickler]

Were you manager?

[Mike Lawrence]

Never. Oh, no. Because then that meant you were gonna stay. The important thing was to tell yourself you could leave at any time.

[Ryan Sickler]

I got you.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah, I got. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you remember what you. And ended making an hour when you finally.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, I'll tell you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, you remember.

[Mike Lawrence]

So, yeah. So May 16, 1999, I start. And 5:25, which was 10 cents above the minimum wage.

[Ryan Sickler]

What year again? What time? 1999. And it's five and a quarter.

[Mike Lawrence]

We got the Tarzan Happy Meals coming out.

[Ryan Sickler]

I was gonna ask.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's how we lived through high school. They had the 299 meal and a 3.99 meal. Like we could afford that in high school, dude.

[Mike Lawrence]

Well, we, I mean, this was a trailer park, so this, this, some of these people ate because a hamburger can go easy in a blender if you've lost most of your teeth. I never thought, oh, yeah, everything's a shake for meth head. But at the end December 28, 2006. I don't remember the Happy Meal toy. I'm sorry. I was leaving, of course. Why would I remember? I was happy I was leaving. And I moved to New York the next week. You know, with comedy and stuff, but. $6.45.

[Ryan Sickler]

What year? Eight years later.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Five. What? Five and a quarter.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. To 645.

[Ryan Sickler]

A buck 20.

[Mike Lawrence]

No promotions, nothing.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's.

[Mike Lawrence]

And three of those were like, government mandate. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

They finally came in and said, you have to pay these.

[Mike Lawrence]

I. I just saw this. This new thing about this article about they're raising. It's $20 now. $20 an hour in California. Yeah. I was reading. This is the funniest thing. I was reading this article, and a guy who's like a franchisee, he owns like seven or eight McDonald's. He's like, you know, we used to be able to do fun things like pizza parties for everybody, but now we can't because we have to give them $20 an hour. It's like, oh, so now they get to have them with. You're the only person upset about this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

No one's complaining about getting 20 an hour.

[Ryan Sickler]

So that was your money. That was your bread and butter until you bounced.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. Yeah, it was. I paid for college. I bought books with that money. And then I started getting credit cards because. And I didn't know how they worked, which is the whole point. That's why they're always on College campuses.

[Ryan Sickler]

100%. Right.

[Mike Lawrence]

And I got. I racked up like, like 15,000 in debt in comic books and action figures, all the stuff that I always wanted to buy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Let's talk about that. So you discover credit cards when in New York or in Florida.

[Mike Lawrence]

McDonald's days. Okay. And with credit cards, you know, this is the early 2000s, I discover eBay, and you could type in anything you want. I tell my therapist is sometimes. Because, you know, they'll say, like, you're supposed to move forward. Don't be stuck in the past. But we are the first generation that can be buy our past.

[Ryan Sickler]

Here's the other interesting thing I've learned through therapy, too, is men. We will buy our past.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Women won't. They're not buying Strawberry Shortcake.

[Mike Lawrence]

Well, they have things to look forward to.

[Ryan Sickler]

We go back to our time when we were the happiest and the. Hopefully the safest. Yeah, maybe.

[Mike Lawrence]

And you buy that president that looks like them coming up. We've had 40, and it doesn't made us any happier. So I look like Rougher B. Hayes. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you're buying your childhood?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, we, we love living in our past. It's amazing. I used to love Mighty Mouse cartoon Spider Man.

[Ryan Sickler]

You saw all the action figures out.

[Mike Lawrence]

There and I know each one of them. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So, yeah, let's get into that. So you develop. So you find credit cards and now you're like, oh my God, here's ebay. Also, I can get unlimited shit.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you dive into what? Action figures. And what.

[Mike Lawrence]

I mean, I've always collected action figures. But then, then I moved to New York and by the time I'm moving to New York, I've got $2,000 in my pocket and nothing but a dream. And I'd been doing comedy a year and two months in Florida. And I knew I had to leave because I was doing too well. It's like I knew the joke sucked and I should be bombing harder. And then I moved to New York and I was. This feels right. And I didn't get an action figure or anything for years.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm going to pause you there for a second. Jump back to the beginning. What's your first ever action figure? What's the heroine that got you started? The early one, if you can't remember, it was Heman.

[Mike Lawrence]

I'll tell you an important one was. You know, my grandma was. Was rather racist as grandmas are. Want to be. But she knew I wanted Clamp Champ. And he was the black he man figure.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't know him. I don't know. He's.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, he has like a. Just a big clamp that he uses to like grab stuff. And she had to push down her prejudices for her grandson.

[Ryan Sickler]

And she did.

[Mike Lawrence]

And she did.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's great.

[Mike Lawrence]

There's one time at McDonald's a white woman wouldn't leave the drive through because we gave her a black Barbie.

[Ryan Sickler]

Nah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

She's like, take this shit back and give me a white.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, man. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's fucking bold.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You ain't doing that well. You would do that today. People still don't give a shit.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, she was. She would do that today and get 500,000 on your phone.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're right. You're right.

[Mike Lawrence]

Mattel would reach out to her and be like, we're sorry to make you a doll. We're sorry about these DEI policies. They're like, we're even going to have a white person make the doll for you. And then it falls apart because it's poorly manufactured.

[Ryan Sickler]

So then what do you. What do you dive into hard then once you get in. What are you going after?

[Mike Lawrence]

I mean, everything or.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Mike Lawrence]

No, it was always. You had to have a line. You know, Star Wars. I'm a big comic book guy. I'm not a Star wars guy. Marvel was, like, my big thing. And there was a Marvel superheroes group of toys that came out in 1990. So I'm with it at a company called Toy Biz. They start making X Men action figures, and they start making all of the different. The Silver Surfer has his own line of toys, and I'm getting all of these. And as you get older, the toys get better. I'm not one of those people now who. I don't buy retro stuff. I like the new stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

The McFarlane.

[Mike Lawrence]

You.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, the McFarlane figures.

[Mike Lawrence]

I have a ton of McFarlane figures.

[Ryan Sickler]

He's phenomenal.

[Mike Lawrence]

And I remember the shirt I'm wearing is McFarlane art.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right?

[Mike Lawrence]

You can't see. Just look at me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Knowing some.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, yeah. Amazing Spider Man 318. Yeah. McFarlane.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, you want to know why I know McFarlane? You can probably guess the sports figures he does.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Nominal.

[Mike Lawrence]

Well, that was. That was. The thing was, you know, he was a comic artist, and then Spawn. Was that Spawn. Right. He still does it sometimes, but he created this toy empire, and now he has half a billion dollars.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whoa. The toy empire is bigger than Spawn and all his.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, yeah. Oh, he's got. Yeah, he's got the D.C. license. He makes Batman and Superman.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Mike Lawrence]

Okay. He makes, you know, this mlb. Huge licenses. Yeah, yeah. So. And they look better than all the other stuff on their show.

[Ryan Sickler]

Incredible.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they, you know, like, the football ones move about as well as the football players in real life.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, they do.

[Mike Lawrence]

The only difference is the toys always know where they are and don't murder their wives. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So how. What's. When you say. Because you sent us a list. Crippling action figure addiction. How much money are we talking? At your most. Are you dropping on these things? Things?

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, thousands.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, it's in, like, one shopping spree, you'll drop a thousand.

[Mike Lawrence]

No, just after years. Like, I'll. I'll get one now, and sometimes I won't feel anything, and it's very depressing, and. But now I've transferred to my son, and, you know, he's like. He likes Paw Patrol, so we got all the Paw Patrol toys. And watching him, you know, share an addiction. Don't keep it to yourself.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Why keep it to yourself?

[Mike Lawrence]

I wish my dad did drink with me. He did give me the donuts. So that was nice, but do you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Still have all your toys and are you passing them?

[Mike Lawrence]

I have all my current ones, like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Or these collectibles that you're not gonna open or. Are you gonna let your son live?

[Mike Lawrence]

Everything's out of the box. It's the dopamine rush of opening.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Okay, good, good.

[Mike Lawrence]

There have been times, because you can order a lot of stuff online and they'll send it to you loose for cheaper or, you know, the shipping is cheaper. I'm like, I want. I'll. I'll spend the $3 for that box smell.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. That's what you're into. Not. It's not about the. The keeping and saving. The collectible money and ebay.

[Mike Lawrence]

Why would I leave my son a feasible inheritance?

[Ryan Sickler]

So what's. Does he like. Does he. Does he not like any of the stuff you like?

[Mike Lawrence]

I mean, well, you know, you're like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, that hurts my soul.

[Mike Lawrence]

He's two and a half. So, like, he loves Spider Man. He loves. He's. He hasn't really gotten to Batman yet, like, but when he. But the stuff he's into, he's really into. And so am I. I'm really into my stuff. But he also has his own things. And. And if he's not, like, I think. I think that he's going to be amazing at athletics, and I'm going to have to learn to like that stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. Are you going to.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, of course. Because that's what a good father does.

[Ryan Sickler]

Football player likes to play football or baseball. We can maybe. Football's not safe these days.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, we're not gonna do.

[Ryan Sickler]

Let's just say baseball.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. You're gonna dive into the stats and all that for. Go hard on that stuff, huh? Oh, for you, dad?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. Yeah, that's. You know, someone got me, you know, Cameo. Someone got me. A buddy of mine got me a Jesse Ventura cameo, and he gave the best advice. He's like, you better like what they like and love what they love. It's not about you. It's about them. It's, like, good on you, Jesse.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Mike Lawrence]

You know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, what kind of person? And I said, stella, this is when I said to her, like, look, look, I don't care what you do.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

All I do care about is that you take it seriously.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you're your best. Not the best. Your best. Yeah. You're a good teammate. You're a good loser. I want you to learn how to lose.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And win with, you know, humility.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And be a good person and a good teammate. I don't care where that comes from. But you are going to do something And I'll support it 100%.

[Mike Lawrence]

Did she want to switch to cheer herself? Okay. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then I watched her slowly start to learn how to flip.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

When you see the confidence builder, and I'm like, this is no different than if I had a son who would want to skate and do the trick over again, again and again. How any different than us in comedy telling the same joke over. Get that word right. And the difference between. And things like that, you know? So good for you.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, that's. I think that's what.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you weren't. You never grew up sports or anything. You were more comics and.

[Mike Lawrence]

No, I mean, you know, my brother and my dad loved sports. My dad was a big Raiders fan, mainly when they were. He was from, like, the Bay Area, so, you know, he loved them when they were in Oakland and then tolerated them when they were in la. But that was something they bonded, him and my brother bonded on. I mean, if someone told me, hey, man, your dad's going to die before 70, I would have watched more football with him.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right? You would have, huh?

[Mike Lawrence]

I think so. I mean, but it was also, I was being. You know, I was finding who I was. I was playing with my action figures in the corner and making up stories, and I was reading comic books in the other room, so. And my dad, you know, he would take me to comic shops. Like, he would embrace the stuff that I loved. And I mean, the truth is, I really do love my mom, but I have a special affinity for my dad. I mean, he was a single dad, and he spent the time with us, and when he passed, it's like the thing I thought about with parenting. My son was only three months old when he went. And the big thing I thought of is all that matters is time, that they're there. I mean, they know that you were there for them and that you were able to push aside all this stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

And so for me, you said, listen, man, half of parenting is being there and genuinely being invested in what they're interested in.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, that's it.

[Ryan Sickler]

These backpack trips to Europe, I would hear about all this. I'm like, you're probably the most miserable family.

[Mike Lawrence]

I didn't get a passport that was 28. Yeah. You know, but if we went to Chuck E. Cheese and went together, that's all that matters.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's it. Memories.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. And. And I think it's this thing, too, of. It's important to show, like. Like, to me, I think about it every day. Like, my main job is to keep my son safe. And one of those things is to keep him from being cynical for as long as possible, because that's its own state. Once you're cynical, you are damaged and you're broken and you are no longer. They can't sell you as a new car. Once you're cynical, you're used. Yeah. And every day that he wakes up happy, you know, he'll wake me up at 6 in the morning, he'll put my glasses on me and be like, come on, Daddy. You know, and he's happy. And it's like it makes you happy and that's a beautiful feeling. Like that. If I look, there are people who don't want kids and I get that and I respect that. But not until I had a kid was I ever happy before 10am and that's the thing is like, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

I never got up early or anyone. I'm a comedian outlet late and I'm getting up early now and. But you know, another thing I pay attention to, Mike, is like the ability of a child to get angry at something and how quickly. Yeah. They just forget it and don't hold a grudge and don't bring it up later. And, and I, Yeah. I'm like, when, when, as adults do we lose that? Like what happens to that little poor us?

[Mike Lawrence]

That's when we have nothing else.

[Ryan Sickler]

That when you finally, you get so mad you can't let it go and you don't.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Go away for five minutes and come back like, can we play Uno? And I look at that and I go, I wish I still had that.

[Mike Lawrence]

Well, it's like gambling. Like you're so in the hole. Right. And so hatred is like that. You're so. Either you, you despise someone so much that you now are invested in their failure.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

And you're hoping it happens. And all that's happening is you're failing.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what they say. It's like drinking poison.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That person's not affected in one bit. You're just guzzling poison.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Tell me about being diagnosed with autism and like, why did you look into that? You said a 38.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is just a few years ago.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. Because everyone knew but me. That's why. Because I would always say, tell me.

[Ryan Sickler]

You went and really did this and you didn't get some Tick Tock. All these people, I can't tell you how many people I see going, oh my God. Turns out I'm autistic because I saw something on Tick Tock.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's, it's, yeah, that, that's its own, you know, Sorry, rfk. That's the real epidemic.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. You're muddy in the waters, everybody, with your. I took a quiz online. So did I. I have AIDS cancer. I have diabetes.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. Here's the thing. Listen to this episode, the Honeydew. And if you've related to me more than two times you got it.

[Ryan Sickler]

I might have it then. God.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. Yeah. But for me, it was, you know, we. We got into the adoption process in 2020. That was one of the good things about the. The pandemic. Besides the thinning of the herd. All those weak people with frail lungs. No, in. No in 20. And a cough. Yeah. My dad survived the entire pandemic and then died in 2023. I'm going to let you have suspense. Oh, I'm gone. No. So for me, it was like, I always felt it, and I was watching that show Love on the Spectrum and. Yeah. Really connecting to some of the people on there. And I always figured. But for me, it was like I never cared in the point in the sense of, like, I figured enough things out in life. I don't know everything, but I'm doing all right. You know, I've overachieved for a brain damage lummox. But it was when we were talking about having kids, and I was like, I need to be the best version of myself for him. I don't know how to socialize well. I don't know how to make eye contact well. And I want to be able to do that for his teachers.

[Ryan Sickler]

Good for you. Yeah. The parent fucking teach.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, yeah. Listen, I struggled.

[Ryan Sickler]

I hate it.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And also, you know, you've got a little bit of notoriety, and now people may know you and they're gonna want to come over and talk to you. It's like, oh, my God, it's Mike Lawrence over there.

[Mike Lawrence]

You're like, oh, it's all small talk's the worst. Oh, it's the worst.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you gotta get good at it because.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're. Nods like, I never thought of that too. Like, oh, man, I gotta go meet this dad now. And I'm like, oh, you're gonna have.

[Mike Lawrence]

To talk to an admissions officer.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

And they're gonna judge you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Check in at the. The front desk with your id. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

And I was thinking with the adoption process, you know, there were interviews, there's home studies and all of that, and you have to be a person and everything. And so it was when we were in the middle of that, you know, I tell people I took an autism test And I passed. But I did. I did like the thorough, you know, diagnosis I was. It was during the pandemic.

[Ryan Sickler]

You go to a doctor or.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, psychological group. And this is one of my favorite stories is that. So I have, you know, it was over zoom, because this was. Yeah, this was like 2021. And I have a big Spider man poster behind me of an issue, issue 137. And this woman, she's like, you know what my last name is? I'm like, yeah, the Dr. Conway. She's like, do you know who my ex husband is? And I was like, is it Gary Conway who was a renowned Spider man writer, if there was such a thing?

[Ryan Sickler]

Glad you're gonna say Tim Conway. I'm like, door, fall, golf.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Carol Burnett.

[Mike Lawrence]

Dorf on divorce. We. We did Dorf. She left it for Harvey Korman.

[Ryan Sickler]

So this guy's a prominent Spider Man.

[Mike Lawrence]

Every time I was wiggling my ears, it's because he was smacking me there. Yeah, the over 50 crowd. Love that one. Yeah. So it was prominent Spiderman and he had written the issue that that poster was of. And I'm like, gary Conway? Your. Your ex husband was Gary Conway?

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, it's official now.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, so. Yes, exactly. So I get. But I get the diagnosis back. It's like, like, you know, let me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Ask you real quick before you say this, because I'm an ignorant man about a lot of things. What. When it comes to an autism, what do they. Because I hear a lot of people say eye contact, but just not having eye contact doesn't mean you have autism. So what are they really testing for? What is the actual test?

[Mike Lawrence]

I think they're testing for, you know, how you think?

[Ryan Sickler]

Is it brain waves or is it just a proven test or.

[Rocket Money Advertiser]

Well, it's a.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's a lot of things. Right. So I'll talk you through it if you want.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, I want to know.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, okay. Yeah. So that two hours. I won't do the same jokes I did on my other. No, but yeah. So the two. Two hours with her, she's asking me all these questions about my past and things like that. And. And then I get, you know, when I get the diagnosis. Like one of the things was, subject found out who ex was, would not stop focusing.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, that's in the write up.

[Mike Lawrence]

She knew I was. She baited you? Dude, this.

[Ryan Sickler]

She didn't have to say who her was.

[Mike Lawrence]

I know this lady knew I was fidgeting with my action figures and I never had them on the camera. She could just tell by the way my elbows were moving, my shoulders were shrugging. I mean, it's like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Looked like he had a McFarlane figure in his lap.

[Mike Lawrence]

No, he said, more articulation. But these posed.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right? It said that.

[Mike Lawrence]

It said, yeah. Fidgeting. Yeah. What? I think I held one up once or something. Like, I would say by accident. I just couldn't let it go, and I'd, like, scratch my head or something. And I think she said, but, but, but then, then. So that's the first part is you talk to a psychologist. Normally that would happen in person. Right. Then they tell you. This was the roughest part. You got to talk to your parents. You got to talk to or anyone who raised you or anyone who was in the early development stages of your life.

[Ryan Sickler]

And ask them what.

[Mike Lawrence]

And ask them if they noticed anything. What were you like growing up? You know, you're supposed to write it down, and then you get, like, a survey, and the survey has a ton of questions. And some of these questions are the ones that you'll often see on these autism tests and everything. Like, you know, do you pretend a lot? Are you in your own world? You know, how often do you feel lonely and isolated? You know? Yeah. Do you hate small talk? Things like that. And. But yeah, I had to talk to my parents, and that was a lot, man. Because it's weird. I mean, that word was so loaded back then. And I think that we are trying to make up for the mistakes of our past. Our parents had parents who dealt with a lot of trauma that they didn't deal with, and they put it on our folks, and our folks put it on us, and we're trying to stop all of it if we can. We. We won't.

[Ryan Sickler]

But we say this a lot on this show. You know, I'm 52. I'm good. 10 years on. You. My grandfather fought in World War II.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

My dad's Vietnam. And I'm like, I want to be a clown. And these are men. They're like, what the are you talking about? You know what I mean? Like, we. We're not also the first generation who buys our past. I also feel like we're the first real I love you to our kids generation. Like, I. I got that from my dad for sure. But back then in the 70s and 80s, it was more of a walk it off mentality. Men don't cry tough, and you don't.

[Mike Lawrence]

Divorce and you stay because you committed.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. All that. Yeah, Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

I mean, they were all unhappy on the inside.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah. That's why? We're a way. We are. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. And we probably. The pendulum swung the other way too far maybe, but. But it swung into a toy store, so that's okay. And so, yeah, so I'm talking to my mom and my mom, it's like she felt like, I think, you know, she's gotten better about it, but like that I was accusing her of something.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, she's not even thinking. You're just. I'm just trying to get some research here. She just.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, well, she was like, I mean, you, you. You turned out fine, you know, it was like, yeah, it's okay. It's okay. You know, And I remember talking to my dad and my dad was like, yeah, I was probably, you know, I was weird too. We just didn't say it back then because they throw rocks at you.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's the other thing. The weird kid.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, yeah. And now I look back, you know, like, I think that he definitely was because, you know, growing up, he didn't have any friends. No one ever came over the place. And he, you know, was very nervous and neurotic in a way that I have some of those tendencies.

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Mike Lawrence]

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What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[Ryan Sickler]

It's got to be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[Rocket Money Advertiser (Alternate)]

Could you be more specific when it's cravingient?

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. Like a freshly baked cookie made with real, available right now in the street at am, pm. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at am, pm.

[Mike Lawrence]

I'm seeing a pattern here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[Mike Lawrence]

Crave, which is anything from am, pm.

[Ryan Sickler]

What more could you want? Stop by AMPM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience ampm. Too much good stuff.

[Mike Lawrence]

And then so you do the survey, you talk to your parents and then the last thing is you. Yeah, I did go in person.

[Ryan Sickler]

Sorry, can I ask you, is also talking to your parents not just for information, is it, is it hereditary? Is it a genetic thing?

[Mike Lawrence]

I don't think it's. You're not doing it for that.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're doing it to get their observations.

[Mike Lawrence]

To know how early things were being shown. And so then you go take a test in person and it's amazing because it's a waiting room of just kids and me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah. Because it's mostly that's, you know, that's when it's detected.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, they're all on top.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. It's funny, I remember asking my mom, I was like, I want you to watch Love on the Spectrum so you could see, like, understand like what autistic people are like and everything. And she watches and she goes, I gotta say those parents are so amazing. Like the bravery of those moms and dads to deal with those. But yeah, she was like, those parents are amazing.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh man. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So did it affect you when you found out or was it more just. Okay, I know what this is.

[Mike Lawrence]

Well, the last test, the amount that I, I go on tangents and stuff is. No, I'm saying it is an autistic artistic trait. I see. It's hard to follow a linear conversation, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

So now I'm doing it to you here because now I want to know, was school a problem for you? Was the systematic 88 to 3? These classes had to be a. Yeah, but were you still a good student? Did you still get good grades?

[Mike Lawrence]

I did okay. I was always mediocre, you know, but it was like I was hyper focused on the things I loved. So I. I didn't understand math at all. I know. I wish. I wish I was the profitable autistic.

[Ryan Sickler]

Business savvy.

[Mike Lawrence]

I wish I was the Zuckerberg, not the guy who quotes Zoidberg from Futurama. That's. That's the kind I am. And. But yeah. Oh, yeah. So the third. I just want to.

[Ryan Sickler]

First.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah, please. So it's. It's like pattern recognition stuff. They repeat numbers to you and you repeat them back. I got to the end of that. I think I did like 16 digits.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, so they'll keep going like 21 and 2, 1, 4, 5. And you got up to 16.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Jesus.

[Mike Lawrence]

21. 21.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm sitting here. Get that.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah. So they're doing that. But my memory has always been insane.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you like that with names too? Can you remember people's names? See, that's my problem in comedy. I. I often don't remember your name, but I will remember your joke or something. I'm like, you got the such and such bit. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

And.

[Ryan Sickler]

Which is also offense.

[Mike Lawrence]

Here's what's worse is that they know I know all this useless.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Like, this guy could tell me who made these action figures.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Can't remember. My name's John.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah. He remembers how many seasons Shirley Hemple was on what's Happening and what's Happening Now.

[Ryan Sickler]

How many was it, by the way?

[Mike Lawrence]

I could be wrong, actually, but I'm gonna say five. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong and I picked a bad thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

Rob's Place. Man. She worked down at Rob's Place.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. How did they not have what was Happening then as a prequel?

[Ryan Sickler]

That's good. That should be now out.

[Mike Lawrence]

She was a stand up, though. She was. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Was Fred Barry Rerun. Was.

[Mike Lawrence]

He was a. No, he. Yeah, but he was also a break dancer.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, but he would do like. I would see him back in the day at the bowling alleys out here in Canoga and he would have pictures on the wall.

[Mike Lawrence]

No, that was just one of the balls. That wasn't. Someone put a beret on a bowling ball.

[Ryan Sickler]

We just talked about it on the way back about watching what's happening growing up.

[Mike Lawrence]

Oh, man. But if you see him dance, it's like mesmerizing watching a guy that big do the moves that he did.

[Ryan Sickler]

Pop and lock all over the place. He was.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, I love those old shows. Yeah. So it was a pattern recognition, all this stuff. And then I got the result, like a few weeks later, and it Is there's definitely an over diagnosis problem. Part of the problem, though, is there's.

[Ryan Sickler]

A self diagnosis problem as well going.

[Mike Lawrence]

I was going to say part of the. Yeah, but part of the reason that happened is that test cost money, you know, and my insurance didn't cover it. It's funny, I have Writers Guild insurance.

[Ryan Sickler]

Can I ask you how much?

[Mike Lawrence]

3,000? Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

3,000.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That is. I just took a cancer one, a pre screening to find, you know, just a heads up, and it was 900 because insurance wasn't covered. I'm like, why wouldn't insurance cover this for everybody?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it's 3,000.

[Mike Lawrence]

But yeah, the Writers Guild won't cover it. I'm like, if we had to cover it, we had to spend it, baby. Brooke, bro. Well, I would. I would say on stage sometimes, like, I'm not saying I'm the only one. I'm the only one diagnosed, but yeah, I mean, it's. And it sucks because so much of poverty is connected to mental health and people not being able to understand their own problems, and there's no way that we're even helping people fix it. It's a bummer. So it is. Like, when I'm talking about my autism test, it's my version of a sports car, but yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Now what does that do for you after when you find out? Is it a peace of mind? Are you a bit bummed out? Are you. How are you feeling?

[Mike Lawrence]

It's good and it's bad. I mean, it's good in that, like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Tell me the positive.

[Mike Lawrence]

You know, I was able to, like, you know, communicate with my wife more. And she always knew. She was like, yeah, duh. She's like, let's go use that $3,000.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, let's take a vacation. Trust what I'm telling you.

[Mike Lawrence]

I mean, I need one just from living with you. Thanks, honey. Oh, man. Yeah, she's amazing. But I was able to communicate more because I get overwhelmed and I do have panic attacks. And so now if I have like sensory. If I'm feeling overloaded with noises, I'm one of those people. Even if the music's really low at a bar, I can hear it during a conversation. And all I'm. And I'll start talking about the song, but nobody else could hear the song and stuff like that. But now, yeah, when I have panic attacks or I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'll say I've created a communication system. I'm like, I'm at a two out of five. So I'm okay. But If I'm like, look, I can't handle this thing. It's making me too uncomfortable. I'm at, like, a five. I'm at a four. I have to leave. Because that's the thing. If you do get the diagnosis, it's your responsibility now to be a better person. And if you know who you are, you have to. That's. That's the hard part of it.

[Ryan Sickler]

But would you not leave before? Prior to that? Would you just stay and.

[Mike Lawrence]

I would stay or not even go, you know, so now I make more of an effort and stuff. And I've been able to, like, create a system in my head that makes sense, which is that unnecessary things bother me, necessary things do not bother me. Things that have to be happening are okay because they have to be happening. And this makes parenting so easy. Babies will cry, they will shit themselves. They will do baby things. So none of the things that a lot of people complain about with babies, I'm like, no, but that's who they are and what they do. It doesn't bother me. It's people who know better and do things they don't need to be doing or shouldn't be doing that drive me crazy. People that blast loud music at a beach or something, that bothers me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Because that doesn't mean you have autism either, by the way. That assholes just bother everybody, you know?

[Mike Lawrence]

But enough people play that it seems socially acceptable.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

You know, and, you know, like. But. But certain things, you know. Yeah. Things that will bother somebody else, like, drive me insane. You know, the click of a pen.

[Ryan Sickler]

How about somebody chewing.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. Loudly complaining about the temperature in a room.

[Ryan Sickler]

Drives you nuts.

[Mike Lawrence]

Drives me insane.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who's doing that?

[Mike Lawrence]

Every writer's room.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh. Someone will always be bitching about the temperature, huh?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. And if someone does it this way, just. Yeah. Like you said, small, like the smallest talk, like. Like, why are we spending 10 minutes on talking about lunch? Let's just put our orders in and work. I would rather, like, get stuff done, go home earlier than be in the culture of an office if. If I can help it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you always been that way?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, but I didn't know why.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. Did you ever homeschool, or did you always just go to regular schools?

[Mike Lawrence]

Always went to regular school. I mean, my parents couldn't do or afford otherwise, and I don't blame them for that. But my high school was massive. I had a graduating class of 860.

[Ryan Sickler]

Damn. Yeah, you have. Florida high schools are big.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. And we don't learn anything. And the only way they lower the class sizes is by pushing the guns. My school could have used a few of those. But I always remember this moment when I was in drama class. I wrote a monologue. We all had to do a monologue for the class. And I got in trouble for writing my own.

[Ryan Sickler]

What do you mean you wrote your story?

[Mike Lawrence]

I wrote my own speech to give. You know, people are doing Shakespeare.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, oh, oh, I see. You just did your own.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why would you get in trouble for that?

[Mike Lawrence]

Because you're not supposed to. You're supposed to follow the curriculum and do this thing and that thing and it's just what I'll always remember that like, and getting scolded for it. And now I get paid to be a writer. How about that? But that's the problem with those large school. They don't have the time or resources to focus on what a kid is good at, what makes them happy, you know? So everything has to be uniform. It sucks.

[Ryan Sickler]

So tell me because I'm leading up to meeting your wife and stuff. Was dating. Did you date? Did you go?

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was it like for you? Especially someone who's uncomfortable with this. How are you meeting girls? This is before Internet, I'm assuming, right? Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. I mean I met. I was in a four year relationship and I didn't realize how insufferable I was in it until it ended. But I was just, you know, I was. That is a thing that, that people will say about autism and. And I know it's not just true to autism, but the one track mind getting h focused on something and this girl became my focus and I would write letters to her and mail them even though we lived 50 minutes apart.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're sending snail mail letters and you live 15 minutes apart. You loved her, huh?

[Mike Lawrence]

I did. But you know, and then I looked back and I was like, what it really was was I love the concept of being in love and. And I wasn't ready to love another person and that took years. And yeah, when I moved to New York, I treated dating like I treated comedy, which was just do it as much as possible. Open mic. Open mic. Date, date, Open mic. Bring the date to the open mic. And my first date with my wife was.

[Ryan Sickler]

How'd you meet?

[Mike Lawrence]

OkCupid.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, is that right? Okay. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

And last week from. Yes, a week ago. That's it. A week ago was our 15 year first date anniversary.

[Ryan Sickler]

Congrats, guys. I met your wife. She's super sweet. Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. So I mean, you know, how long.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you been married?

[Mike Lawrence]

We've been married for 10 years.

[Ryan Sickler]

10 years.

[Mike Lawrence]

We'll be 11 this September.

[Ryan Sickler]

And so when do you guys start to think about kids?

[Mike Lawrence]

We always had. And then, you know, there were, like, fertility issues. And, you know, it's very generous because she. She was having, like, fibroids. But then I had low sperm count, and it's so much sweeter when you're. They're both broken, you know? And it's funny. I have Crohn's too, and my wife would always be like, you've got a bum tum and bum come beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. And I. So we were always thinking about it, and then, yeah, the pandemic happens. We just called an adoption agency. We didn't want to go through IVF and all of that. For us, it was just like, it may work, it may not. Let's just go through a process that. That we feel is comfortable for us. And look, man, the adoption process is brutal. I'm sure we went through two matches where they decided to keep the kid.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's when they. When you think you're gonna get the child, then, yeah, they.

[Mike Lawrence]

They give birth. And.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, the. I see. The person was like, no, now I want.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, it was amazing.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm sure that happens a lot where they see their child and they're like, I can't do that.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. Yeah. There's so many different, you know, And a lot of. You know, most of the people that put their kids up for adoption are in a crisis situation. And. And there was one woman who had four, and she was like, eh, let's round up. If I could do four, I could do five. And you're like, yeah. And I don't. At the time, it was rough. I remember being at the Comedy Store and telling some. I just felt so alone and angry in that moment just because I was like, I shouldn't be here now. I should be at home with my hypothetical child. And I remember a comedian who just telling me, maybe you weren't meant to have kids. Just give up, Jesus. And I was like, you remember who that was?

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm not gonna say, but I'm saying you remember, though?

[Mike Lawrence]

All I'll say is they had to live with being them, and that's punishment enough.

[Ryan Sickler]

Fair enough.

[Mike Lawrence]

And, you know, it was brutal at the time to hear just anyone say. Cause I just felt like the universe was already telling me that. But we stuck it through, and it was a. It was a beautiful story. It was a baby that was born in Florida. And I was thinking to myself, you know, the main goal of a parent is, you know, one of the most important things is to make sure they have a better life than you. And at two weeks into my son being alive, he's already out of Florida.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what I say to my daughter all the time. I already won, girl.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, I did it.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm here.

[Mike Lawrence]

You know, you're not having my childhood, so. So I did. I did it. And. And it was. Yeah, he's just like. He's just like, the most amazing little dude. He's funny. Like, he'll do this thing where I. I have shirts with a bunch of superheroes on them. And I. And the. The Thing from the Fantastic Four is my favorite superhero. And anytime I'll point to the shirt and go, look, it's the Thing. He goes, it's Hulk. It's Hulk. I'm like, no, it's the Thing. He's like, hulk. And he's trolling me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, for sure.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's beautiful. But, yeah, I mean, when we. We got him and we took him home, it was like, the most amazing thing. And it's so interesting because I had this imposter syndrome for a while of, like, am I a good dad? Am I not? And I also don't look like him. He's half white, half black. And it's amazing because my wife is white. And whenever we go out in public together, people often think that, I don't.

[Ryan Sickler]

Know, like, somebody's gotta tell. Somebody's gotta tell this poor master or that you're babysitting or some shit.

[Mike Lawrence]

It's so funny. Like. And when I'm with him alone, I mean, I don't drive, so I'll have to Uber with him and put the car seat in the back. And one. You know, sometimes people be like, so whose kid is it, really? And stuff like that. Like, that was. That was really rough. Like, the first year and a half. But now he can say daddy, and he treats me like a father. And so it's a lot more like, the other day I got. Is that your first grandson? I'm like, yeah. Call me old. Yeah, Just. And because, yeah. I mean, you know, people could be mean about stuff like that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Everything.

[Mike Lawrence]

And I don't. I. I remember there was a woman at the playground that screamed, like, that's not your kid. And, you know, blah, blah, blah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really? Oh, like you were, like, trying to steal him or something.

[Rocket Money Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So what do you do in that situation? There is no way to prove that kid your kid. If it's.

[Mike Lawrence]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

If they're small enough where they're not saying no.

[Mike Lawrence]

He was like, like, he was like, you know, 14 months. Yeah, no, I mean, you know how, you know how I proved he was my. That my kid to myself? I left because that's what a good parent would do.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, exactly. Right? And he comes with me.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I pulled our pants down. I'm like, look, we have the same dick size. That's how, you know, twins. Nice. Why would I pull down the pants of a child that is not mine? How absurd. Ma' am or madame. No. And you know, people bring their own, you know, baggage into things and. But now I feel like self assured of like, no, I'm Logan's dad. That's my kid and I love him. And you know, and he's not gonna be in Florida. They told us and it might change, but they're like, like, he has not tested for autism. I don't know if it's like tested positive. But yeah, they're like, we don't think he's autistic. And I mean, so yeah, it's like that's why, you know, he doesn't have my genes, he doesn't have my quirks. He is going to be an amazing athlete. I got like one more year. I can catch him.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah. He fastest.

[Mike Lawrence]

He's so fast. And he loves sports. Yeah. And you know, but he loves, you know, nerd stuff too. But yeah, as you like you said, anyone can take sports and make it nerd stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, listen, the, the quote unquote nerds. They're the people that came up with all the. Now you can stat everything.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You get on Google stats and all this stuff and now and it's hits, how many base hits against lefties? Right. I mean it's every stat broken down to the, you know, minute detail. It's pretty amazing.

[Mike Lawrence]

They found a way to make it unfun for everyone but them. And then. And that's what a real fan does.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, real fan.

[Mike Lawrence]

A real fan finds a way to suck all the joy and put it just for them right here.

[Ryan Sickler]

You best.

[Mike Lawrence]

This is what adult did with Halloween. You're right. And Christmas. Oh, kids are having fun. Mine, dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you for coming on and doing this episode.

[Mike Lawrence]

Absolutely.

[Ryan Sickler]

Before we wrap up, I want to know advice you would give to 16 year old Mike Lawrence.

[Mike Lawrence]

Work at Burger king. They pay 10 cents more. No, I think, I think I would, I would, I think I would say, you know, you're going to have good days and you're going to have Bad days and you don't know who you are. But the people that love you know who you are and they accept you for who you are. And that's what matters. And also make sure that in the early 2000s, just bet on the Kansas City Chiefs. I know you don't know anything about football, but, but just, you know, just put aside some money and bet on. Because your action figures are worthless, but sports can save your life.

[Ryan Sickler]

Great episode, dude.

[Mike Lawrence]

Thanks, buddy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Promote right there. One more time, please.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah. Nerd of mouth on the last podcast network is my podcast. Yeah, we did a whole episode on autism. I talked about stuff that we didn't talk about here. Portrayals of autism in the media, all that kind of stuff. And it was amazing. People reached out to me about their kids, about themselves. A guy was like, I understand my daughter more because of your episode.

[Ryan Sickler]

Good.

[Mike Lawrence]

Yeah, yeah. Now you know she hates you. And I did that. But yeah, it's a really fun podcast. We get really deep into stuff and I'm really proud of it. I don't, I don't do as much stand up as I used to, but this is a really fun creative outlet for me. And yeah, I'm always writing on different stuff. And you know, I love. My favorite thing is when people tell me they're not funny, but their favorite comedian is someone I write for and it's the best, like own in a way.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you, buddy. Thanks a lot as always. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. RyanCickler.com we'll talk to y' all next week. Next week.

[Rocket Money Advertiser (Alternate)]

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Mike Lawrence]

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Mike Lawrence]

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Mike Lawrence]

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[Mike Lawrence]

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