Fiona Cauley Refuses to Serve Soup Ever Again

Summary

Podcast Summary: Fiona Cauley Refuses to Serve Soup Ever Again | The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler

Introduction

In this compelling episode of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler, host Ryan Sickler welcomes Fiona Cauley, a courageous individual navigating life with a rare genetic disorder. The episode delves deep into Fiona's personal journey, highlighting her struggles, resilience, and triumphs, all delivered with Ryan's signature humor and empathy.

Guest Introduction and Initial Conversation

Ryan Sickler opens the episode by introducing Fiona Cauley, apologizing for the studio's lack of ADA compliance, which Fiona humorously acknowledges by mentioning her ability to climb two flights of stairs despite the challenges. This lighthearted exchange sets the tone for an honest and engaging conversation.

Fiona's Early Life and Athletic Background

Fiona shares her background from Franklin, a wealthy town in Nashville, emphasizing that "money can't buy everything." She recounts her athletic prowess, having played soccer, volleyball, and cross country, and discusses her mother's influence as a Division I athlete. Fiona's early promise in sports makes the onset of her symptoms even more poignant.

Onset of Symptoms and Misunderstandings

At around age 15, Fiona begins experiencing coordination loss during volleyball, which her coach mistakenly attributes to a lack of effort or possible substance use. Fiona expresses frustration, saying, “I fucking wish, dude. You know?” This misunderstanding leads her to quit sports and adopt a more rebellious persona, further complicating her high school years.

The Diagnosis Journey

Despite exhibiting clear symptoms, Fiona’s diagnosis journey is fraught with disbelief and dismissal from her family and educators. She reflects, “Everyone thinks I'm drunk. Everyone's talking about my speech being kind of slurred,” highlighting the lack of awareness and support. It wasn’t until she decisively sought medical help at 18 that she was diagnosed with Friedrich ataxia, a rare genetic disease affecting only about 5,000 people in the U.S. Fiona reveals at [17:57] “And I was right. And that's all I heard was I was.”

Family Dynamics and Emotional Impact

The diagnosis uncovers deeper family issues, particularly involving Fiona's mother, who initially dismissed Fiona's symptoms as attention-seeking. Fiona shares her strained relationship, stating, “I was very angsty and mad at her in high school for obvious reasons.” Over time, they engage in honest conversations, leading to mutual understanding and apologies, though Fiona remains guarded: “She feels. I mean, I get it now.”

Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms

Fiona candidly discusses her battle with depression following her diagnosis. She recounts engaging in reckless behavior, including excessive drinking and promiscuity, as a coping mechanism. “I got grounded for walking weird,” Fiona admits, illustrating the psychological toll of her condition and the societal misunderstandings she faced.

Experiences with Employment and Disability Discrimination

Fiona's struggle extends into her professional life, where her disabilities lead to repeated job terminations. She mentions, “I refused to carry soup ever again,” referencing her role at Frothy Monkey, where frequent spills due to her condition resulted in her being deemed a liability and ultimately fired. Fiona’s experiences shed light on the pervasive discrimination faced by individuals with disabilities in the workplace.

Transition into Comedy and Inspiration

Despite the challenges, Fiona finds solace and empowerment in comedy. Encouraged by her uncle, she participates in Kill Tony, a comedy show, overcoming her fears and showcasing her humor despite her physical limitations. Fiona shares the transformative moment when she took the stage, leading to a significant boost in her confidence and public presence: “That changed my life, you know?”

Current Life and Future Outlook

Now actively touring as a comedian, Fiona balances her career with managing her condition. She emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy, especially while traveling for performances. Fiona remains hopeful about future medical advancements, including gene therapy, which she believes could offer a cure: “That's the hope, you know.”

Conclusion

In conclusion, Fiona Cauley's story is one of resilience and determination. From facing debilitating symptoms and familial disbelief to finding her voice in comedy, Fiona exemplifies the strength of the human spirit. Her candid discussions on mental health, disability discrimination, and personal growth provide invaluable insights and inspiration for listeners navigating their own challenges.

Notable Quotes

• Fiona Cauley on her initial symptoms: “I was like, what the fuck is happening?” [07:13]
• Discussing her diagnosis: “I have a very rare genetic disease called Friedrich ataxia. And there are only 5,000 people in the US with it.” [17:57]
• On coping with depression: “I started ramping up my drinking real bad, and I was sleeping with everyone.” [35:20]
• Reflecting on family relationships: “I didn't forgive her for gaslighting me, essentially, for years.” [38:16]
• On self-advocacy: “You just have to learn the laws for airlines, how to protect yourself.” [56:31]
• Offering advice to her younger self: “Stop doubting yourself so much. You know, you know your body, you know what's going on.” [59:00]

Final Thoughts

Fiona Cauley's episode on The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler is a profound exploration of living with a rare genetic disorder, the importance of self-advocacy, and the healing power of humor. Her story not only educates but also inspires, offering hope and understanding to those facing similar struggles.

Transcript

[Ryan Sickler]

Guys, we have a new tier on our Patreon, and it includes exclusive bonus content. Listen up. Right now, for just $5, you get the Honeydew a day early. You get it ad free, and you get a full bonus episode of the Honeydew with y'all, where listeners highlight their low lights. And it's gonna stay that way. Five bucks. And for just $3 more, you're also gonna get the way back a day early. And. And ad free. But that's not all. You'll get exclusive bonus content with the guests, some fun segments, maybe some games, and we'd love to get you guys involved. And that's all for only $3 more. And there's no censorship on any of the Patreon episodes. Subscribe now. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it. The Night Pants Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Thank you for your support. Thank you for supporting this show. I love what I do, and I love to sit here and highlight the low lights with everybody. If you got to have more, you got to check out the Patreon, the Honeydew with y'all. I'll say it forever. It's every time I sit down, there's some new stuff going on. There's a brand new story we've never heard. It's five bucks a month. And if you want extra bonus content, the way back early, more stuff on that tier. Eight bucks. That's it. Three more dollars. All right, that's it. You guys know what we do here? We highlight the low lights. I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers, and I'm very excited to have this guest here, first time on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Fiona Cauley. Welcome to the Honeydew. Fiona. Fiona, first of all, it's been very nice to meet you. We sat outside for a while and talked, and I want to seriously apologize for not being ADA compliant over at this studio.

[Fiona Cauley]

It feels good to stand up.

[Ryan Sickler]

You walked up two flights of stairs.

[Fiona Cauley]

I did.

[Ryan Sickler]

You crushed it.

[Fiona Cauley]

I swear every. I'm faking it.

[Ryan Sickler]

No. And you don't. We don't have a straw, which is. We got everything but a dance.

[Fiona Cauley]

You're here to challenge me, and I appreciate that. I can't afford pt, so this is something.

[Ryan Sickler]

We'Re helping. Before we get into your story today, please promote everything that you would like.

[Fiona Cauley]

I will be at the loony bin in Tulsa, Oklahoma, February 28 through March 1 and that's what I got coming up.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right. Tulsa, go see her. I'm interested to get talking to you more because we were talking outside about everything. And so just let's start with your story, because I found out just through the information you sent that you didn't start experiencing. Well, you were born with your disease, but you didn't really start feeling the effects of it until about 18. Is that right?

[Fiona Cauley]

Well, so it's complicated. Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

And so I'll tell you what. Take us back to the beginning, where you're from and. And everything, and let's lead up into it.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, I'm. I'm from Nashville, specifically, a town called Franklin. Have you heard of it? It's a nightmare. And it's like one of the wealthiest towns in America. Like, it's like scary, you know? And I always say I'm proof that money can't buy everything, but. But yeah, so I'm from there. I'm a middle child. Okay. And that is very important to my diagnosis story. And when I was. I was an athlete, I played soccer for six years, volleyball for like two, cross country, all bed, like high school athletes, not high school, but before that. And I was so good at certain sports. People are like, oh, like she's going to college on oh, wow. Scholarship, you know. And my mom's a D1 athlete. She played basketball for who? St. Vincent.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, she's 5 10.

[Ryan Sickler]

Damn.

[Fiona Cauley]

Very tan. I don't know what's going on, but. So all that is like how it is. My older sister, she was always like a book worm. Never really into sports. Had like health issues like scoliosis and stuff growing up. So when I was about 15, I was playing volleyball at that time, and I started just like losing coordination. And I noticed that my coach did, and he thought I wasn't taking any it seriously anymore. They thought I was like high or something.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, really?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. And I was like, I don't think so.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't think so. I would know.

[Fiona Cauley]

I fucking wish, dude. You know? And so I quit sports and I was like, I guess I do drugs now. You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to party and be like an art person. So I kind of leaned into that. But in high school, I started noticing that, like, my principal would smell my breath in the morning because she thought I was drunk because how I walked. Everyone called me like Captain Jack Sparrow's long lost daughter. It was like a running joke, you know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, that one adult was like, hey.

[Fiona Cauley]

Maybe we should not one Never smell.

[Ryan Sickler]

Alcohol on this girl. Doesn't smell like weed coming in here either. Maybe something's really going on. Not one. I raised school full of teachers.

[Fiona Cauley]

Not a dog teachers. I literally, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Got a health. Health teacher down.

[Fiona Cauley]

I know, but they were the football coach, you know, And I was like, they don't know dick about Buck.

[Ryan Sickler]

But yeah, that's a good point.

[Fiona Cauley]

They like, I was a really good student, like, academically. I almost failed gym class. And no one was like, that's weird, you know, because I couldn't run the mile or whatever. So I went to my mom and I was like, I don't know what, but I think something is wrong. Everyone thinks I'm drunk. Everyone's talking about my speech being kind of slurred, you know, and do you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hear it in your head or do you feel the same?

[Fiona Cauley]

I feel the same. But when I.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you notice your body movements and things.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. Yeah. And I'm aware of my speech watching other people react to me.

[Ryan Sickler]

I see.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So how long do you wait till you finally say something to your mom? Like a few.

[Fiona Cauley]

Quickly. I was like, what the fuck is happening? But I'm a middle child and my older sister walked weird. But we said it was because of her scoliosis and I didn't have that. And so my mom was like, just walk it off. Well, she was like, okay. Little child, like, yeah. She said, they told me I was doing it for attention and so I thought I was.

[Ryan Sickler]

How guilty does your mom to feel now?

[Fiona Cauley]

I. You. No idea. No idea. So I'm like. I'm like, maybe I am making it up. I used to practice walking in my room.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, so for a while it got in your head that your mom.

[Fiona Cauley]

Three years. I thought it was insane. She wouldn't take me to the dog.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did it progressively get worse over the three? What do they think is happening?

[Fiona Cauley]

She thought I was doing a middle child because my.

[Ryan Sickler]

She thought you were. This was a performance. No.

[Fiona Cauley]

I would literally practice talking and walking in my room at night, like trying to record to see how straight I could walk. And I was like. I thought I was having a mental break.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old are you?

[Fiona Cauley]

I was 15.

[Ryan Sickler]

No. How do you know?

[Fiona Cauley]

Right now, 28.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh. So cell phones with video cameras are readily available, so you could easily record it.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. Go get an old ass video camera and do all this. Okay.

[Fiona Cauley]

So I, you know, all this shit's happening. Everyone's telling me I'm out of my mind. And I just like. To the point where I kind of owned walking Weird. And was like, yeah, just how I do it. There were younger groups of girls in my high school that would walk like me because they thought it was cool. I'm not even fucking lying. Could you imagine? And now I'm like, crime or something like that. Crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

They would walk like you because they thought it was cool not making fun of you.

[Fiona Cauley]

They legit thought this was funny. There were groups that made fun of me, for sure, but, like, I'd have friends carry my lunch trays because I'd spilled them. And I.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're in high school. Like, honest to God, I wasn't an idiot. I would definitely look at one of my friends after this and be like, you should go to a doctor.

[Fiona Cauley]

No, Nobody.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's crazy.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, Well, I was always making jokes about it, so.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, but they're watching you physically change. You say your. Your speech is changing the way you w. You don't even play sports anymore.

[Fiona Cauley]

I got fired from every serving job for spilling everything. I I. What is.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, did you ever dump something on somebody?

[Fiona Cauley]

So many times I'm like, I've refused to carry soup ever again. That was the worst.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where were you working?

[Fiona Cauley]

I worked up. Frothy monkey. Do y'all have those here? Oh, my God.

[Ryan Sickler]

What is that, a coffee place?

[Fiona Cauley]

Kind of, but it, like, they served wine and food, too, and, like, cocktails, I think. But, like, I spilled everything. At some point, they wanted to get rid of me, but the customers liked me, so they hired, like, a food runner for my shifts.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow. Okay.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. And I did eventually get fired for. I was clearing off tables upstairs. I'm trying to walk downstairs, stairs, and I ate and, like, the whole thing. Yeah. And I got fired because I was a liability.

[Ryan Sickler]

Would you say a disability lawsuit?

[Fiona Cauley]

Lawsuit. I swear to God. They're lucky. That's. I got fired.

[Ryan Sickler]

I know. If you have been diagnosed legally, you be a gazelle.

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh, my God. I'm. I should have held on, you know, in a lot of ways. No, with that job that I remember one time they got, like, a bad Yelp review about me because I was working the cash register, and someone goes, love this place, but y'all gotta get rid of Emma. Stoned.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, pretty good. That's pretty good.

[Fiona Cauley]

I'm like, so you think I'm pretty. That was my takeaway.

[Ryan Sickler]

But everyone thinks stoned or drunk or something other than real. Okay, what about dad?

[Fiona Cauley]

Is he around?

[Ryan Sickler]

He's not around at all. Okay.

[Fiona Cauley]

I mean, he was, like, legally obligated to be around.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. I already know what kind of terror.

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh, my God, my dad. I mean, I will say the shitty part about my dad is like, as a daddy sucks. But, like, any boyfriend I had that met him in high school was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Your dad's cool shit. He gives us beer or whatever, you know what I mean? So, yeah, he was an attorney.

[Ryan Sickler]

So all this is really also intelligent people. What did your mom do?

[Fiona Cauley]

She owns her own company. She's very smart. She's a marketing.

[Ryan Sickler]

She just passed it off as Fiona's acting up.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Fiona Cauley]

And again, when you start believing that, it's like psychological warfare with your body. Like, it's so confusing. And so I'm old. I went to kindergarten twice, So I was 18 the summer before starting senior year.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

And I was like, I gotta get this fixed before I go to college. I don't want anyone to, like, make fun of me for there.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't mean people are gonna yell at me for interrupting, but at that time. You're eight. So are you driving? Are you able to drive?

[Fiona Cauley]

Driving.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Fiona Cauley]

At that point, I was on my third car.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why? Because of accidents?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So I wanted to ask.

[Fiona Cauley]

And that's not a clue to the family. I swear to God, I'm like, I'm 18. I've had three cars.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

One of them I totaled in my driveway.

[Ryan Sickler]

How.

[Fiona Cauley]

Okay. That. I still maintain. That was not my fault. All right. I was 16, and I was inching out of the driveway was fall. My car sat pretty, and there was a big pile of leaves. And this lady in this big SUV was going through all the leaves, like, trying to, like, make them, whatever. T bounced the fuck out of my car and pulled me into the street. She hit me so hard. I was a little too far out of her being honest. But I had to, like, my door never opened again. My car was held together with zip ties, and I had to enter and exit through his. Pass through the door for like a year.

[Ryan Sickler]

A year.

[Fiona Cauley]

Ah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. So when do things shift to the point where you're like, listen, everybody, something's wrong.

[Fiona Cauley]

Or do you take the. They weren't gonna listen. It had been three years veteran. Like, I got grounded for walking. Weird.

[Ryan Sickler]

Fiona. Also, look, I played. Well, I went to high school and played sports. And even in high school, yearly, you're going to the doctor. Were you not getting checkups yearly with any kind of like, pediatric. Least 16, 17, nothing?

[Fiona Cauley]

No, no.

[Ryan Sickler]

By the time nobody that could have.

[Fiona Cauley]

Said, hey, and I want to remind you, I'm from a very wealthy town where the Was any like. No. I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Probably all Xanaxed and pilled out, going about their days.

[Fiona Cauley]

Does no one give a. There was no school nurse that was.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. You're a daily. You're in there. Not one. I'm like, you know what? Just come here first.

[Fiona Cauley]

It didn't help that I did party a lot in high school and I looked like it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, but you could take a test and prove you're not fucked up easily.

[Fiona Cauley]

No, I'm like, give me your breath. Do getting pulled over and having no idea why I walked or talked like this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, I didn't even think.

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh, my.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you ever been falsely accused?

[Fiona Cauley]

Many times. Many.

[Ryan Sickler]

They tell you to get out and walk?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

No. Have you been arrested for dui?

[Fiona Cauley]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Fiona Cauley]

How the fuck did you pass that, dude? So they're like, we're gonna do a feel sobriety test. And I was like, I can't walk in the straight line. And they were like, why? And I was like, I don't know. And I was like, please paralyze me. And I called my mom and they were like, she's claiming she's incapable of walking a straight line. That's, like, reason enough, you know? My mom was like, no, just bread, Lizer.

[Ryan Sickler]

She just acted up.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So how do you help yourself?

[Fiona Cauley]

So I'm 18 now, and I'm like, all right, I can take myself to doctors, right? So I take my mom's insurance card, like her health insurance card, and I'm thinking, equilibrium, like, something easy, you know? So go do an entire. By myself. And nothing there. But they're like, something is not right, but we don't know what. Somebody do a balance test. Nothing there, but they know something is wrong and they recommend a neurologist. At this point, her insurance doesn't cover that, so I had to involve her to be like, hey, I'm trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. They're sending me. I've done X, Y, and Z. Don't be mad. They want me to go to a neurologist. I think it's either a genetic disease or a tumor on my cerebellum. And I'm fucking rooting for the tumor. Because you remove it, we're all good to go and get a weird haircut. You know what I mean? Pretty cool. And my mom, I was like, will you please pay for one of them? She was like, if I pay for this, will you shut the fuck up about this? And I was like, Absolute. They. And so we decide to go with the genetic testing because I wasn't having, like, headaches or anything. And it takes about three months for those that come back. And when they came back, I have a very rare genetic disease called Friedrich ataxia. And there are only 5,000 people in the US with it.

[Ryan Sickler]

No way.

[Fiona Cauley]

And I was right. And that's all I heard was I was.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's like, two people, dude. That might as well be two people if you're talking about our whole country.

[Fiona Cauley]

I told you, I'm a middle child.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

I have two siblings. They both have it.

[Ryan Sickler]

They do. So that's why scoliosis and everything that was going on with your older sister, they were blaming.

[Fiona Cauley]

I had nothing to blame it on.

[Ryan Sickler]

Numb. Your youngest sister or brother?

[Fiona Cauley]

Older sister. Younger brother.

[Ryan Sickler]

He has it as well.

[Fiona Cauley]

He got diagnosed two months ago.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, no. How old is he?

[Fiona Cauley]

23.

[Ryan Sickler]

So is he already starting to feel the effect?

[Fiona Cauley]

If you met him, you'd be like, oh, he's been. Drink a little bit. But beyond. That's how I explain this disease. It's like the stages are like, my body is now blackout drunk. My brother's body is, like, tipsy. You know what I mean? My sister is doing really well.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, genetic. So who gave it to you? Mom and dad. Don't.

[Fiona Cauley]

They're both carriers, which. Can we talk about how rare that is? And my dad's a piece of shit, so.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hold on. I'm sorry. They're both carriers. You could have got this from one parent, and you happen to have it from both, and it's rare enough for. What do you. These are like. This is like the devil's lottery tickets, dude.

[Fiona Cauley]

I know.

[Ryan Sickler]

So do. Are any of their parents alive?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, they're. My dad's. Mom just died, but no one's disabled.

[Ryan Sickler]

And did she ever get tested to see if she was also a carrier?

[Fiona Cauley]

No, she was a devil, but.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, there you go. We just figured out who gave it to you right there. Wow. And. And your mom's parents weren't disabled either? No. None of the grandparents, man.

[Fiona Cauley]

No one in our entire.

[Ryan Sickler]

So this rare disease gets passed on from two carriers at the same time to all three of you? And is your older sister. Is she in a chair or anything now?

[Fiona Cauley]

She is in a chair, yeah. She and I are pretty similar as far as progression goes. She's doing really well, though, because she's four years older than me. And.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you. Do you have a little bit of hindsight? Is she, you know.

[Fiona Cauley]

Do you know, kind of what I look at for like, okay, this is where I'll be at. But she's definitely. She's been clean and sober for 12 years. She. Her story is insane. When I was. When she was 20, so I was 16, my sister overdosed and had a seizure off a mountain.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whoa.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. What is the diagnosis?

[Ryan Sickler]

What is that?

[Fiona Cauley]

What?

[Ryan Sickler]

She had an overdose from what?

[Fiona Cauley]

She overdosed on drugs and had a seizure because of that and was looking off a mountain when it happened and.

[Ryan Sickler]

Then fell off the mountain and then.

[Fiona Cauley]

Got life flighted and was in a coma for a while.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's enough just to fall off a mountain. Imagine you're having a seizure while you can't put your hand down to help yourself. Jesus.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. But because of the scoliosis, she has metal rods in her back. Her back is not breakable, so that's probably why she's alive.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, she already had the rods.

[Fiona Cauley]

Is that insane? Is that insane?

[Ryan Sickler]

It is. That does. To have scoliosis, to get the rods, to have this disease ultimately saved your life.

[Fiona Cauley]

And we're still not diagnosed. So that happens to my sister. She survives it, she wakes up now she's clean and sober. From that point forward, she's still not diagnosed with this. We are blaming the walking now. Like, it getting worse or blame it on that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Sure.

[Fiona Cauley]

And I'm still progressing. And we have no. And I'm just look more like a. Making fun of my sister.

[Ryan Sickler]

So when they finally do tell you what you have, what is your mom's reaction?

[Fiona Cauley]

She's. She's sopping. She feels. I mean, I get it now. Like, hindsight, I'm like, okay. She just like, does really didn't want anything to be wrong with their kids, which I understand from like a base level. But I was like, fuck you. I told you. Like, I was like celebrating.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

And then I think at like some point, I was like, okay, now that we know, what do we do about it? And they were like, the diagnosis was so fucking grim. Neurologists don't have good bedside manner.

[Ryan Sickler]

I can't believe you just said that. It's true. I don't. Again, I told you outside a little bit about what I have, and I'm not trying to compare it in any way or make this about me, but I know what you mean. So I have. It's called Charcote Marie Tooth Disease. Cmt. We talked about missing, like a layer of muscle in my legs. And then I also have nerve damage in my, like, from my knees, down my feet, super high arches, sprained ankles all the time. My ankles sit back farther than they should. Just a fucked up thing. And it is genetic. My dad had it, both my brothers have it. And we went to get tested because we were trying to figure out what the fuck this is. You know, my dad's got to wear the big. In like the orthopedics and all that shit. So we go to Johns Hopkins University is. We're from Baltimore, so we just go there because it's a world renowned hospital. He takes us in for testing. And this is where I was telling you they're. They're doing shit like they make us do a treadmill test and things like that. They watch your gait, the way your feet strike, you know, and then they start taking needles and they're just jamming them in the webs of our toes, like between. And you never even had one in there before. So you don't have the, the, you know, like, yeah, stick it in my arm. And they're not just putting them in there, they're doing them as pain test. It's. Tell me when you feel this. And then you're like, ah. And then. Okay, well, you know, you felt that like, you know, after you should have.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So it's a whole. And then they take like that little cattle prod and they put it on your ankle bone, right under it, and then they electrocute that until you yell and they go, okay, there it is. Yep. And then it's all these medieval. So this doctor looks at us, we're. I'm probably. I have a twin brother. So we're probably 14. We're like freshman in high school. My younger brother's probably seventh grade, something like that. And this guy goes, yeah, you guys have Charcot Marie tooth disease. He explains what it is and he's like, you're basically a step away from being Jerry's kids. There's a doctor said this, I said this little two bears with Tom Segura. And my dad goes, you guys will step outside for a second. And I'm telling you, I heard my dad, he cussed, but I heard him only say twice. This was definitely one of the times he lit. And we're outside laughing like, oh, he's getting in trouble. Like, dad yells at us, you know what I mean? My dad's like, what kind of bedside you telling kids are going to be, Woody? And just lit him up. And that's when we learned what we had. And then later again, when I was about 40, I went and got tested again to see like the progression and all that. And I Don't know. It seems to be stable enough. Like, if I. Again, I'm so sorry to even say this, but when I walk, after a while, my foot will drop. I'll stumble a little bit because it just doesn't keep picking back up after a while. And my nerves are not the same down there as well. And you're right, Doctors have the worst bedside.

[Fiona Cauley]

Man. It was because, like, at some point I think maybe it's like survival mechanism for them. Like, they can't care about you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, you're just a number.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, you're just number 87.

[Fiona Cauley]

Dude, try being in a fucking clinical trial. You're literally a number. No one gives a fuck like it is.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you sign up for something, forget about it after the trial period ends, then you're charged month after month after month. The subscriptions are there, but you're not using them. In fact, I just learned that 85% of people have at least one paid subscription going unused each month. Thanks to Rocket Money, I can see all my subscriptions in one place and cancel the ones I'm not using anymore. And now I'm saving more money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. See all of your subscriptions in one place and the ones you don't want anymore. Rocket Money can help you cancel. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you, sometimes by up to 20%. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities, opportunities to save. Then you can ask them negotiate for you. They will deal with customer service so you don't have to. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When using all the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Honeydew today, that is Rocket Money.com Honeydew RocketMoney.com/Honeydew. Now let's get back to the dip. So because your disease is so rare, they're also looking at you saying, like, we don't really know what we can.

[Fiona Cauley]

Do for this, or is this literally when I'm. I'm 18 years old. Okay. And my mom did the same thing because the first guy that diagnosed me went to two people because she wanted a second opinion.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

She was like, no, I gotta be right about that.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know, not. Let's get a Second opinion, I swear to health reasons. Like, damn it.

[Fiona Cauley]

No, no. She was like, I'm never wrong. What the fuck? And the first guy that diagnosed me was a younger neurologist, and he wore a little stupid fucking bow tie. Okay. Like, little guy. And he is like. It was like his Dr. House moment, like, figuring out what was wrong with me. So he's, like, giddy to talk about it and how bad it is and stuff. My mom lost her on him. She was like, this guy, he's under 5ft tall. We can't take him seriously. He's a jockey. She's like, yeah, my mom's 5, 10, tearing over his little man. But she was like, we're gonna go to this other guy. So he's not giddy, but he's just very like, you know. And he goes, so you had. You do have this. And I was like, okay, what do we do? And it was like, well, there's really nothing you can do as progressive. And I was still walking at that point. And he was like, you probably have about two years left of walking. And then your speech is gonna go, like, I won't be able to, like, form a word at some point. Your sight, your hearing, it's all a muscle. They're all muscles. My muscles, like, whatever. Nerves are all dying. And he was like. So, yeah. My mom was like, well, what the. Like, there has to be something in the works or whatever. And he said, this was 10 years. He said, we're hoping in about 10 years that there will be some kind of, like, gene therapy that is a real cure if, like. But you have to hold on to all your. Like I had. The fact that I could stand up and walk up those stairs with help is me holding on to what I can do. I'm not supposed to even be able to be understood, but I'm speaking, and I'm a comedian, so.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're defying everything these people told you.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Good for you, Fiona.

[Fiona Cauley]

Thank you. I think it's mental. I think a lot of it is in your head. If you're like. If you.

[Ryan Sickler]

For you, it is.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, your physical's turning on you, and you're keeping your mind. That's really strong. That's powerful.

[Fiona Cauley]

Thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you proud of yourself? Do you not take the time, like most people, to just breathe and think?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. I don't know. I feel like I gotta keep on moving it.

[C]

Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn Ads, go to Libsyn ads.com that's L I B S Y N ads.com today.

[Ryan Sickler]

So, all right, when do you finally have to sit in a chair, like for good? And did you start little by little at first?

[Fiona Cauley]

Did you try to like keep your drinking chair?

[Ryan Sickler]

Was it always electric right away?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, yeah, I'm lazy. I want people to know I got the money for it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, that's good. Forget about that. Outside you're like, oh, I didn't bring my snow tires. I'm like, do you really have snow tires?

[Fiona Cauley]

Right?

[Ryan Sickler]

You're like, no. You should though. You should get some, some four wheel motors on that thing.

[Fiona Cauley]

So it's weird because it went from walking and then I could still walk, but it was kind of like, like it was really like swerving around and shit. And on my 21st birthday, I remember I went to the bar sober because I was so excited to like buy my first legal drink and they wouldn't serve me because of my speech, my walking, which I get.

[Ryan Sickler]

They thought you were already up.

[Fiona Cauley]

And I was like, yeah, you're late to the party. And I explained what I had and they were like, we've heard that one before. I'm like, no, you haven't. First off. And so I couldn't get served, cried. And I was like, okay, now we gotta figure out what we do. So I decided at that point I entered my cane era. Okay, so I got a cane to signify to everyone else that something is happening. I'm not fucked up.

[Ryan Sickler]

That interesting. Something as simple as a cane with the same walk and talk will make people have a heart.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. All of a sudden I had empathy from people and I was like, okay, so you feel better because now you visibly. I. There's a lot of virtue signaling when you have a visible disease. Like, people love to be seen helping you, but if no one's around to watch, no one's going to you. Like, everyone wants an audience.

[Ryan Sickler]

I, well, so we were talking about genetics outside and you were like, I know it sounds woo. And I'm saying, no, it doesn't. Because I didn't know that the next disease I found out I had, which is factor 5 light in my blood disease, I didn't know that till 42. So I'm telling you, that's 14 more years to find out. Like, holy, this has been here. I was born with this. And like you said a lot of times these things. So people who have not the CMT, but the factor 5, the blood stuff, if they never have an incident, they could live to be 110. And it's fine, they don't even know they have it. But use what you said, outside stress, anxiety, all those things manifest. This, that's just laying dormant in you and boom, next thing I know, it comes out. So for me, if I had something like this, I'm already on blood thinners, but. But this could be something that checks me out early because sitting all the time, my machine not moving is. It can be deadly for me.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So that's what I'm saying. You don't, you know, imagine you find out something else later in life and you can. That's what, that's why I tell people on this show. They come on, they're like, I don't talk to this person anymore. I'm like, look, even if you don't talk to those people in your family, see if you can get a medical history on those motherfuckers. Because genetics is a son of a. They may leave you at birth, but they left you with whatever the. They stuck in you.

[Fiona Cauley]

That's, you know. Yeah. With me forever.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, so what sort of like, I mean, do you go into depression? Like, how, you know, difficult is it to mentally accept. I can't walk anymore and I have to. I was an athlete and I have to sit in this chair now. Like, how do you cope with that?

[Fiona Cauley]

Well, I think, because, I mean, we're 10 years deep, deep now. Right. And I think I was deeply depressed in the beginning and all throughout college, really. I've talked about this before, but like, I was a version virgin until I was 18. And then I got diagnosed and I was like, very convinced and no one would ever want me when I couldn't walk. And I'm gonna lose my, my speech. So I like, I'm done.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. They're telling you that.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, I'm Helen Keller, but worse, like, that's.

[Ryan Sickler]

But also with this other.

[Fiona Cauley]

Literally, I'm like, oh my God, are you. So I, I freaked out. I Was super depressed. I started ramping up my drinking real bad, and I was sleeping with everyone. Like, I was like, better do it while I can. I guess I'm gonna live in my mom's basement at some point. You know what I mean? And, yeah, that was pretty dark. And then, like, I don't really know. I think I just realized, like, oh, I was disabled all through high school, but I didn't know. So I kept doing all these things. And, like, you're. I'm grateful now that my mom kind of neglected me in that way, because if I would have been diagnosed at 15, like, the amount of, like, barriers I would have put in front of myself, but, like, we're the only ones that can stop ourselves from doing anything. There are a million fucking ways to do this same thing. And so I'm grateful I didn't know because I didn't know I couldn't. Or that the world would have told me I couldn't have done things. So I tried really hard to sort of convince myself to go back there mentally. Like, no, you can do it. You just gotta do it differently.

[Ryan Sickler]

How many I'm sorrys have you gotten, people?

[Fiona Cauley]

Not enough.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, not enough's a good answer.

[Fiona Cauley]

But mom, really, she's very sorry. Me and my mom had a really difficult relationship. Like, I was very angsty and mad at her in high school for obvious reasons. Now and then college, I think I didn't really forgive her for gaslighting me, essentially, for years. And then, like, I don't know. I think I was like, you know what? I'm gonna lay out very directly to her why I'm fucking mad and, like, where she hurt me and what I wish she would have done. And we just, like, throughout the years, have had a ton of very honest conversations. And, like, she's not perfect, nor am I. I might be, but. No, she's not perfect. But, like, I appreciate and respect that she's willing to, like, apologize and listen and try to change. There are so many people in my life that. Not my life anymore.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

You know, that refused, and it was. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right. So I want to ask you a question about dating and stuff, because I have had maybe might only be one. One or two ladies. On our Patreon Honeydew with y'all, it's the fans write in with their story, and we do this version with them on Patreon, and there was a girl who was in a wheelchair, and she said that she's basically a unicorn. And I. She's like, guys hit on Me non stop. Like I'm a fetish for them. And I said, what? You know, I get it for the, you know, the freaks out there and everything. And I don't mean that in a weird way. You know what I mean? The users I'm talking about, not the goods. Good people. But she said, well, there's not many of us in wheelchairs. And I said, what do you mean? She's like, because we're not as dumb as guys. And I was like, oh, yeah. So excluding, you know, health and things like this, more men she sees in her world in wheelchairs.

[Fiona Cauley]

Because also dumb men are more reckless idiots.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Yeah. So do you. You have you experienced that? Like guys who have no interest in you and just all interest in fetish.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, I've. I've talked about this before, but, like, I believe there are three different types of men.

[Ryan Sickler]

Let's hear this.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. And I've dated all of them. There's the guy who hates that I'm disabled, but not in like an empathetic way. In a way that if I bring it up, he's gonna get angry. And that's. I dated that guy during my cane phase.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. Like, he just talking about it like he thought it was disgusting and didn't want to talk about it.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I was like, but you're okay to date still.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, we're all the same. Laying down. No. And then there's another guy. I've dated him too, where I don't know if it was necessarily like a fetish thing, but, like, he loved how it made him look to have a girlfriend in a wheelchair. Like, he was way more into being photographed with me or whatever. And like, I wasn't like a comedian. It's just what it get sad about him to onlookers. He got off on what a good.

[Ryan Sickler]

Guy he must be.

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And that's always the darkest person.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's interesting. Yeah. At least you know where the other. Straight up with. Even though they're a piece of. They're straight up.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. I appreciate that. Don't make.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm with you. Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. And then there's guys like Matt. Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes. You're engaged. Is it okay to say.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're engaged now.

[Fiona Cauley]

Congratulations.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

Thank you. Yeah. There's guys like him who are just. He sees me before he sees the wheelchair. You know what I mean? And that's like how I knew he was different. And that is incredibly rare. Like someone that understands this is something happening to me, but it is not me. You know what I mean? Because also I've never understood why people act like disability in any capacity is like this fucking like sad, weird thing. It sucks. But like it's the only minority any of us can be a part of. You know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, that's interesting.

[Fiona Cauley]

The most inclusive minority, the handicap. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, it's a good point. Deaf, blind, everybody wants to help or do something and it's the only one you can be a part of.

[Fiona Cauley]

Like we're all gonna be disabled at some point. Just get old.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like it's coming that chairs just wait.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, we sa lucky enough to get that.

[Ryan Sickler]

So can I ask you questions about that? Like. Yeah, they were wrong obviously about your speech or sight and everything. But is this disease something that will. Your body will turn on itself later in life seventies or. Or you know, what do you know about it?

[Fiona Cauley]

I mean they. The guy, the neurologist was correct about the 10 year thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

He was spot on about that.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, that's. That's. I'm really glad that me and my siblings have like really held on to like our muscle mass are like trying to whatever. Because there is a lot of stuff in the pipeline right now. I am not concerned anymore that I will forever.

[Ryan Sickler]

Sorry. In the pipeline meaning in. In the medical world right now there's some advancement. Okay, good, good. Would you be down to try. Would you be down. Down to do clinical trials?

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh, I do that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, you do do them?

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh, I've always done okay. Yeah. I'm a professional lab. Rad.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is any of it. You find any of it working yet?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not allowed to like talk about.

[Ryan Sickler]

Say it or anything. Okay. But can you say this if that thing is finally approved? I guess it's.

[Fiona Cauley]

Is it FDA Food and drug has to be. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then will it. Can it make you walk? Walk?

[Fiona Cauley]

That's the hope, you know, and I haven't visually.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you walked on this medication? You have. You got up and walked how far?

[Fiona Cauley]

25Ft.

[Ryan Sickler]

Get the out. That's a long way.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, that was a couple years ago to be fair, but I was wheelchair bound at that point.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you got up and walked 25ft? How. I mean, how were you holding? No, you really did. By yourself.

[Fiona Cauley]

I mean it was like a baby.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who cares. But you didn't have rails where you're. Wow.

[Fiona Cauley]

Isn't that crazy?

[Ryan Sickler]

That is crazy.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Taking them so long. It's been two years, dude.

[Fiona Cauley]

It. Everything is about money and it's about who's president and I don't Actually understand any of it. I just know when they say no. I think some monkeys died at some point and it paused it. I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dude, how do you keep in. In the loop on that? That. Are you, like. Do you regularly see a doctor? Yearly check.

[Fiona Cauley]

You know how my mom feels so bad?

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, she's.

[Fiona Cauley]

She is a psycho.

[Ryan Sickler]

They all sending you every link.

[Fiona Cauley]

They hate her because she calls them almost every day. Like, she's relentless. That is going to.

[Ryan Sickler]

What's the new news? What's the new news?

[Fiona Cauley]

Like, Amanda.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, Amanda. Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

But the only, like, real cure that's like, one and done is gene therapy, which the crazy thing is I wanted.

[Ryan Sickler]

To ask you if stem cell was anything that was possible.

[Fiona Cauley]

It's sort of. I. I don't. I. I'm sure it's helpful in some ways, but I don't think that's gonna cure me. But gene therapy, God, I went dark school. So this can be a rough explanation, but it's, like, basically recodes your DNA and, like, you're constantly making new DNA in your body. So it goes in like it's the little computer. It's like whatever makes it and it tells it, nope, we gotta fix this. And eventually it's like all the new DNAs throughout your body. Do you know what I mean? So that trial. And I can talk about it because it's, like, online, but I'm not in that one.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, I. I saw this episode years ago of Bill Maher, real Time, and this dude came on. He was a scientist. He's an older man now, but he was a child genius. And in, like, seventh grade, he built a computer himself. And he said, here's a picture of us wheeling it on stage. You know, it's funny, they had a ramp for that, probably not for wheelchair people, people. And they wheeled that up and it stood, like, seven foot tall. And he goes now and he pulls out his iPhone and goes, look what we're at. He's like, in my. It's my belief that hopefully in the next 10, 20 years, we'll be able to insert a chip into someone and say, hey, get. Don't do the diabetes. You know, get rid of the cancer. Turn this off, turn that on, or whatever, and program your system into a healthier mode.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, I mean, they're there.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's. It's there now, huh?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So now you just got to figure out how to do it properly and get it approved.

[Fiona Cauley]

And I'm hoping my siblings can be in that trial. I can't, because I'M another is and you can't.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, is that the way it works?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. And I'm okay with that. You know, who cares?

[Ryan Sickler]

As long as it works on somebody. Like, let's go.

[Fiona Cauley]

Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. Can I ask you this? What's the. Let's be positive about this. What's the first thing you're gonna do when you can walk? Walk. So first thing you want to do?

[Fiona Cauley]

First thing I want to do. I hadn't even thought about that. I'm going to go to a trampoline park.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Little sky zone action. Yeah, we got those out here.

[Fiona Cauley]

God, I would love you for.

[Ryan Sickler]

You end up breaking snap in your neck.

[Fiona Cauley]

I'm like, damn it.

[Ryan Sickler]

You get the chair right back.

[Fiona Cauley]

Dude, that. That would be really.

[Ryan Sickler]

What about dance? Slow dance with your husband?

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you done that? You stand on his feet?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to give him standing up hugs. He's a little guy, too. I don't like tall guys.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't blame you.

[Fiona Cauley]

It hurts my neck. Till I got better.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, tell me about. I want to hear some embarrassing stories in the wheelchair, like getting used to your battery. Ever die in a place or you.

[Fiona Cauley]

My battery died while I was crossing the street by myself. And you can't put it in manual. I'm just there.

[Ryan Sickler]

There's no neutral or anything on it. What do you do? Who got out?

[Fiona Cauley]

Stranger.

[Ryan Sickler]

You could be run over. For real.

[Fiona Cauley]

I mean, so quick. So quick. Dude, I was actually. I was in the airport by myself and I like my bag on me. And I'm wheeling a different one and trying to drive. And I'm waiting at the elevator for it to open and there's a new mom with this little baby. My duffel bag hits this thing and I run over it, hit the. She got so mad and I was like.

[Ryan Sickler]

I think about, like that fireworks guy, Terry. Ever see Terry?

[Fiona Cauley]

I'm begging him. Terry, what you doing?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, you gotta get used to it. I guess you gotta get used to learning how to use.

[Fiona Cauley]

I mean, I get new chairs a lot because I break them a lot.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, you do?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. And I'm always like, why do these break? The battery stops working the motor, anything? And I was like, why are these breaking so much? And they're really. I think you're using it too much.

[Ryan Sickler]

What is that? You're supposed to just sit home.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

What. How fast does this thing go?

[Fiona Cauley]

This one doesn't go that fast. But it's the first one I haven't gotten online. Like, there's A straw by my house, so if it breaks, they have to fix it, which is a game changer. Yeah, I'd say it's like a. Like a brisk walk is the fastest.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, is there a governor on there we could fuck with and get you up to, like, 20 miles an hour?

[Fiona Cauley]

We should. Look, I do have a headlight on this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, Let me hear it.

[Fiona Cauley]

Dude, it's a lame bug horn.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do it when you're running over that lady with her baby.

[Fiona Cauley]

Oh, my God. A man to me, number one. Yeah, I want to. I want to work on that horn.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, you get that? You should get a train horn on that thing too.

[Fiona Cauley]

Make it play songs, move things.

[Ryan Sickler]

What do you think? Well, how. Tell me about Kill Tony, obviously. So let's talk about you going, like, what made you say, I'm ready to go Give this a shot?

[Fiona Cauley]

Drunk confidence.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. But you had been doing stand up for a little bit, right?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, yeah. I. I was doing, well, like, online in Nashville, and I was doing a little bit of traveling on a headline or anything, but my uncle, kind of. Whatever. He was like, hey, you would be really good on this Kill Tony.

[Ryan Sickler]

Your uncle suggested it. Okay.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. And I was like, what's that? And he shows it to me. And I. I was like, this is so uncomfortable to watch. I love it, you know? Like the. Like, I don't know. But he was like, they love you if you can figure out how to get on. I was like, okay. So the seed was planted in my head already, but I can't fucking fly out to Austin, find a place without, like, knowing I'm gonna be on.

[Ryan Sickler]

Sure.

[Fiona Cauley]

And I had seen. That was the question I was gonna ask you, because he didn't.

[Ryan Sickler]

What a gamble to go all the way and not even get called.

[Fiona Cauley]

And the Internet, like, they must have, like, gone past it. But when Tony brought me out my first time, I was not buggable. He brought me out as a special guest, like, he did Ari. Maddie. I had seen. So I was like, okay. He does that sometimes. You know what I mean? And I'm in Nashville, and we're about to have the Nashville Comedy Festival, which is in April. So this was April last. Last year. And he. I'm friends with Brian Dorfman, who owns Zany in Nashville. And he. I was like, hey, do you know if Tony Hench Club is going to be here during the festival? And he was like, oh, yeah. And so I told Brian I really wanted to see if I could get on to Kill Tony. And he was like, I'll Nerd. Util. Of course. Course. You know, whatever. So I end up at an after party, and Tony's walking in to the after party, and I grabbed Brian. I was like, I need you to introduce us now. And so he does immediately. And Tony was like, you're really good looking for a girl in a wheelchair.

[Ryan Sickler]

I, like, the wheelchairs have any bearing on what you look like.

[Fiona Cauley]

What am I supposed to look like?

[Ryan Sickler]

Right.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, that sentence I hear constantly. And I'm like, you refer a woman in a seated position. Like, that's a great point. And. But thank you. I'm flattered. Whatever. And Tony, I told him I'm coming to Austin. Would love to, like, be on Kill Tony, if that was possible. And he was just like. Like, he had never seen me. He didn't know, but I was funny. And he was like, okay, you're on, like, DM me when you're down. I was like. So I went on blind faith that he meant it. And the day of, I DM'd him. And I was so fucking scared he wasn't gonna reply. He replied, like, so kind. So concerned about, like, me being able to get on stage and, like, the ADA stuff. Very comfortable with this. And I was like, oh. Oh. He's like, very sweet. Like, this is a good dude.

[Ryan Sickler]

He's a good dude.

[Fiona Cauley]

So, yeah, it all happened. I. I was so nervous. I blacked out my first time, and I didn't remember what I had said until it released.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really?

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You couldn't remember. You had to watch it to remember what you said.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, My. My fiance Matt was in the front row watching. And it was funny because they make you, like, put your phones in those bags. So I go on, and they have to bring me around the building through the front to, like, get back to the green room. And Matt is out front where they unlock your bags with this phone, like, crying. And I was like, what the. What are you doing? And Matt's, like, freaking out. He was like that. I think I just watched her live life change. Like, wow. He saw that. It was very sweet. And I was like, I don't remember anything.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

But he was right. That changed my life, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

So tell me now that you're an actively touring comedian in a chair, how. Because that wasn't something before. You said you did a little traveling. Now you're traveling all over. You're here, going to San Diego. You just mentioned Tulsa, Austin, all these places. Like, how difficult is that? It's a new thing for you.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, it's. It is Hard, but it's not impossible. And I have realized that, like, going on the road, flying whatever it is, in a wheelchair, the only, like, you can do it. It'll be fine. You just have to, like, learn how to advocate for yourself because the airlines are gonna put your ass around. They're gonna make your life hard to break your wheelchair. You just need to know the laws for airlines, how to protect yourself. Yeah, that's a good point.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Fiona Cauley]

Because I'll just look it up and quote at them if they're refusing to let me have it on the plane. Like mine. Because you don't let them put it under the plane.

[Ryan Sickler]

I was gonna say they're just throwing that. Yeah, yeah. So you're. You sit in that chair on a plane or.

[Fiona Cauley]

No, there's a wheelchair compartment.

[Ryan Sickler]

I see them. I see all the. They don't put you in that black one. They let you wheel this to the plane.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. I see.

[Fiona Cauley]

And they're always like, it's not going to fit. I'm like, I fly for a living, so yes, I will. But it's like f. You know, finding the balance of, like, standing up for yourself but not being on the no fly like this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. That's your career. You got to be careful.

[Fiona Cauley]

So just being direct, knowing the ADA rights for flying and going from there, you just got to be your own advocate, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

So are you loving life right now? Yeah. What do you. Okay, let's talk about this for a second. No offense, I haven't seen your hour, but how much of your hours talking about this?

[Fiona Cauley]

A lot of it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, now when you start walking and you get out of this chair, what are you gonna talk about?

[Fiona Cauley]

I'll be like, do you remember when I was in a wheelchair?

[Ryan Sickler]

I used to be in a wheelchair.

[Fiona Cauley]

I'm in a wheelchair, and you start walking.

[Ryan Sickler]

Fiona, this is great. Thank you for coming on here and talking to me and sharing this stuff with me. I know it's probably not easy. And it's all new, too. I love that this is new for you. This the stand up, crushing it like that. Yeah. Good for you.

[Fiona Cauley]

Thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

So before we recorded, I told you this is your first time here, and I was going to ask you at the end advice you'd give to your 16 year old self. And I'm curious what you would say, because I know what's going on in your Life now at 16 to Fiona Cauley.

[Fiona Cauley]

What would I say? Stop doubting yourself so much. You know, you know your body, you know what's going on. Everyone else can suck a dick.

[Ryan Sickler]

Love it. I mean, I want to just tell you, you were right. You were right the whole time, you were right.

[Fiona Cauley]

I still can't believe that I'm bad.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, that's gotta. You started realizing it, would you say, around 15ish? Yeah. So you're 28. What's that, 13 years of still being like, I can't believe nobody. All right, can I ask you one more question here? I know they said there's really nothing that they can do yet or anything like that, but even if you had diagnosed this earlier, except for being correct and know, was there anything that you could have done to help ease it a little bit or. No, no, it's just. It is what it is.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah. Or just when do you want your sentence in?

[Ryan Sickler]

I get that. Well, thank you again. Thank you so much for coming on. I love talking to you one more time. Promote whatever you'd like, please.

[Fiona Cauley]

Yeah, same thing. I'll be at the Loonyman in Tulsa, Oklahoma, February 28th through March 1st.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, go see her, Tulsa. Thank you again, and as always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media, ryancickler.com we'll talk to you all next. Next week.