Frankie Quiñones - HoneyQuiñones

Summary

Podcast Summary: The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler
Episode: Frankie Quiñones - HoneyQuiñones
Release Date: December 2, 2024

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Introduction

The HoneyDew, hosted by comedian Ryan Sickler, delves into the personal stories and lowlights of life, transforming adversity into humor and insight. In this poignant episode, Ryan welcomes returning guest Frankie Quiñones, exploring heavy themes of trauma, recovery, and familial relationships.

Acknowledgments and Promotions

Ryan kicks off the episode by expressing deep gratitude to his listeners for their unwavering support. He highlights the launch of the show's Patreon, offering exclusive content such as early access to episodes, ad-free listening, and bonus material for a modest contribution.

Frankie Quiñones' Personal Trauma

Frankie opens up about his harrowing childhood experience, revealing sensitive details about being sexually abused by an older cousin during his early years. At [05:44], Frankie shares:

"To suppress, you know, obviously use as a child and by a family member. Yeah, yeah. By one of my older cousins and you know, not even my parents or anybody talked about it."

He discusses the profound impact this trauma had on his self-worth and coping mechanisms, including turning to alcohol and drugs as a means to numb the pain.

Therapy and Healing Journey

Frankie's journey towards healing is a central theme of the episode. He recounts his experience at a trauma processing center in Utah, emphasizing the transformative role of his counselor, whom he affectionately nicknames "Blind Yoda."

"He changed my life. Like, first of all, just working up the courage to open up about it. That changed my life."

Frankie describes a pivotal therapy session where he confronts his younger self, allowing him to release pent-up emotions and begin the healing process. He also touches upon EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, highlighting its effectiveness in addressing deep-seated trauma.

Impact of Sharing His Story

Frankie's decision to share his story publicly has had a profound effect on both himself and his audience. He reveals receiving overwhelming messages from listeners who have experienced similar traumas, underscoring the importance of speaking out.

"There's gonna be at least one person that's gonna speak up about what happened to them just from hearing this, you know, and that's a win for us, homie."

He emphasizes the ripple effect of his openness, fostering a community where victims feel seen and encouraged to seek help.

Familial Relationships and Confrontations

A significant portion of the conversation centers around Frankie's strained relationships with his abusive cousin and the broader family dynamics. Despite multiple attempts to confront his cousin and seek an apology, Frankie expresses frustration over the cousin's continued denial and lack of accountability.

"I wanted him to be, fuck, I'm sorry, man. And da, da, da. But he never apologized to me, you know, he event. He apologized to my dad, never me, you know."

Frankie also shares a heartfelt reconciliation with his parents through a therapeutic process called the "Ring of Fire," where family members confront and apologize for past abuses collectively.

"They apologized to me for the first time last year. And it all, it all started because, you know, when I spoke up on this honeydew thing and it created all these waves and now that line of communication is just open with my mom and dad."

Path to Recovery and Continued Efforts

Frankie's path to recovery is marked by continuous self-improvement and helping others. He discusses his involvement in community service, charity work, and his commitment to using his platform to advocate for mental health and support for abuse survivors.

"When I'm able to help people, that's the number one thing. It's like, whether it's feeding homeless at Skid Row or just, like, helping younger people are working with charities or whatever I could do to help is like the number one thing that kind of keeps me, you know. You know, cool, you know, away from the banners."

He also reveals upcoming projects, including a special comedy special produced and directed by Ali Wong, where he plans to further explore and share his experiences through humor and storytelling.

Closing Reflections

As the episode draws to a close, Frankie reflects on his journey, the importance of confronting trauma, and the role of faith and community in his healing process. He underscores the necessity of breaking the silence surrounding abuse, particularly within Black and Brown communities, to prevent future generations from enduring similar pain.

"It's like, you know, if they can get to a spot and get to get enough courage to go talk about it or go get even therapy or just, you know, tell their family or whatever the k, whatever the step is to get it out, they could have such a better life, you know, and they don't have to die. That way."

Notable Quotes

• Ryan Sickler [00:53]: "Welcome back to the Honey Dew y'all."
• Frankie Quiñones [05:44]: "To suppress, you know, obviously use as a child and by a family member."
• Frankie Quiñones [07:16]: "I'm trying to get this money and take this career as far as possible."
• Frankie Quiñones [13:53]: "This fool looked like a fuck, like, you know, like a bouncer."
• Frankie Quiñones [33:59]: "I was supposed to be dead, you know."
• Frankie Quiñones [54:15]: "I'm so grateful to be alive. And I got so much talent, I got so many ideas in my head that I want to share with the world."

Conclusion

This episode of The HoneyDew offers a raw and honest exploration of Frankie Quiñones' journey through trauma, therapy, and healing. By courageously sharing his story, Frankie not only facilitates his own recovery but also creates a space for others to confront and address their own pasts. Ryan Sickler effectively balances humor with profound emotional depth, making this episode both engaging and enlightening for listeners.

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Note: The timestamps included correspond to the moments within the podcast where the quotes were made, providing context and authenticity to the discussion.

Transcript

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Frankie Quinones]

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[Frankie Quinones]

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[Frankie Quinones]

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[Frankie Quinones]

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[Frankie Quinones]

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[Ryan Sickler]

I've been getting a lot of questions about when is the way back going to be on Patreon, and I'm excited to announce it is finally here. Plus bonus content. Right now for just $5, you get the Honeydew a day early. You get it ad free and you get a full bonus episode of the Honey do with youh all where listeners highlight their lowlights. And it's going to stay that way. Five bucks. And for just $3 more, you're also going to get the way back a day early and ad free. But that's not all. You'll get exclusive bonus content with the guests, some fun segments, maybe some games, and we'd love to get you guys involved. And that's all for only $3 more. And there's no censorship on any of the Patreon episodes. Subscribe now. Tampa, Florida I can't wait to come back to Side Splitters. I'LL be there Saturday, December 7th, one night only, Tempe, Arizona. I'll see y'all December 20th and 21st at the Tempe Improv. Get your tickets now on my [e-mail].

[Frankie Quinones]

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler.

[Ryan Sickler]

Welcome back to the Honey do y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Ryansickler.com Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I'm starting this episode like I start them all by saying thank you. Thank you for not only supporting this show, thank you for supporting anything that I do. I genuinely appreciate it. I love my life because of you. I love doing this job. So thank you for that. And if you gotta have more, you gotta check out the Patreon. I'm telling you, it is this show. It's the Honey do with y'all. And it's five bucks. It's been five bucks since day one, and I will not raise it. It's your show, and y'all got the craziest stories. I'm prob. I promise you, at this point, you got hundreds of episodes to go listen to for five bucks. All right? And you're getting the Honeydew a day early. You're getting it ad free. No censorship, nothing. All right? So go check that out and come see me on tour if I am in your town when you're around. Tickets are on my [e-mail] all right. That's the biz. You guys know what we do here? We highlight the lowlights and always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest back on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Frankie Quinones. Welcome back to the Honeydew, dude. Thank you for being here.

[Frankie Quinones]

Good to be. Good to be back, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

Before we get into your story, please promote everything you'd like.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, wow.

[Frankie Quinones]

You know, find me Frankie Quinones or cholofit creeper on TikTok or Instagram. You can watch this full on Hulu. There's 20 episodes, two seasons of that on there. Me and my best friend, one of my best friends, Chris Estrada and Michael Imperioli, who, you know from the Pranos, are the main characters in that. We've got a lot of awards, a lot of good writers, so please watch that show. I'm in the first episode of the Walking Dead. Spin off the Ones who Live. And I'll be. I'm in the Last three seasons of what we do in the Shadows on fx. The very last season is about to premiere this fall and I got to be in a harness with a bat and fight some vampires. So. Yeah, fly around a little bit. Check that out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But for tour dates. Yeah. Frankie quinones.com and yeah, come check me out.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, dude, I want to first of all, thank you not only for being back, but your last episode. It was, I'm telling you, you've got to go watch Frankie's first episode. And also there's going to be a few people to go, how come you didn't ask him about advice you give to a 16 year old self? And it's because I only do it the first time you're here, so that's why you don't get it again the second time.

[Frankie Quinones]

Right, right.

[Ryan Sickler]

So there's the answer to that question. But your episode was a really heavy episode and it was also, I mean, you're obviously completely vulnerable. I didn't know that till today. You said you'd never talked about any of that stuff publicly or openly on any sort of platform.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, man. I mean, you know, it was something that especially.

[Ryan Sickler]

You mind just recapping in my community.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, yeah. To suppress, you know, obviously use as a child and by a family member. Yeah, yeah. By one of my older cousins and you know, not even my parents or anybody talked about it. It's like something you, you're just taught to just sweep it under the rug, hold it in, basically pretend it didn't happen, you know, but you feel like a crazy person because you're like, you know, they stopped it from happening when I was like around six or seven. But you know, you still going to the family barbecues with that person there. Your family is bringing you there. So you're just like, oh, okay. I guess you just, you know, pretend that it's all good and well, well, in the meantime, in your head you're like, am I crazy? Like, or I guess it's just as normal. You know, you just do that. As I got older, you know, it, it did work to, you know, I lean, you know, I was a little angry for a while. You know, sometimes I'll get like in fights. I have that like Napoleon complex. But I would get my ass beat every time anyway. So just like. But then, you know, I found like alcohol and drugs and shit and I was like, oh, you know, it's positive vibes. I mean, it's all good, you know, and that was my way of dealing with it. And so I think that's why I got funny, is because I needed some validation from people, because the way I felt about myself was like, fuck, I'm just like this piece of meat. Or I'm basically. I'm worthless. You know? Like, that's how you feel when nobody speaks up for you at that young. Such a young age.

[Ryan Sickler]

And this was a male figure, too.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. And I say that a while back.

[Ryan Sickler]

We have Moranzio Vance on, and he was also molested. And he's talked about how it's also swept under the rug in the black community.

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

For men, especially. And. Yeah, but this was by a female cousin.

[Frankie Quinones]

Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

So I say that because it's, you know, you. It's. They always say it's. Most of the time it's someone you know or someone you're close with that does this.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So then you texted me and said a lot of things sort of popped off after that.

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, listen, I. Again, only talk about what you're comfortable talking about.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, please. No, no. Obviously, it's a really deep thing, but, you know, you got me to open up, and it felt good, to be honest, you know? And, you know, three days after I recorded that with you, I flew to Utah to a trauma processing center.

[Ryan Sickler]

You did?

[Frankie Quinones]

And I went in, homie. And there was this dude I met, man, I'm gonna send this to him. His name is Darren, and he is blind. Can't see anything. He has implants on the side of his head so he could hear. So he could barely hear. He's blind. And he goes in the room. He brings me in a room. It's because the first five days over there. This place is expensive, homie. I mean, it's like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Now, is he a counselor or is he another patient?

[Frankie Quinones]

He's a counselor.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. So this place is like. It's in Utah. You know, it's this, you know, rich, white Mormon. Mormon. Mormon money, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, real quick. Why'd you pick this place? What made you choose one of the.

[Frankie Quinones]

Top in the country?

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay?

[Frankie Quinones]

And I said, I'm. I'm trying. I'm trying to do this.

[Ryan Sickler]

What are we top in the country for what?

[Frankie Quinones]

For just trauma in general is a sexual addiction. Any kind of addiction also, but mostly trauma processing. You know what I'm saying? So. And it's one of the top in the country. So I say, you know what? I'm gonna drop this bread. I'm gonna do this and basically invest in myself, because if I can get through this Then I'll be able to get this money and take this career as far as.

[Ryan Sickler]

Good for you, dude.

[Frankie Quinones]

And so. But honestly, man, the first four or five days I was there, I was kind of like, man, what a waste of money. I could have just got an Airbnb and Joshua Tree and locked myself in a room for a week, ate some shrooms. I meditated like, hey, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, wait, tell me about the blind.

[Frankie Quinones]

Almost with this dude. It was my first session. I was already there in about four or five days. And he's blind as hell. And you kind of have to help guide him to his office. You go in there and he goes, all right, the couch is right there. And he sits down. He's like, are you ready to do some trauma work? And I'm like, all right, yeah. And he dims the lights and we start doing breathing. And he goes, okay, let's go back to incident, like, when your cousin's doing this to you. And you know what? Tell me what's happening. Tell me how you feel. Like I'm fucking. I don't know. I'm scared on me. I'm frozen. I'm confused. You know, all this stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

And also, real quick, at the time, you're what, four or five?

[Frankie Quinones]

You're looking a little hard. About five, five and six years old. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You can't even defend yourself.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. You just. You don't know. I mean, what's happening, you know, you're just like. So you just do it, you know? I don't know. You know, but you still feel. Even now, being in my 40s, I still feel the guilt and shame and of doing that. So that's why I do this therapy to try to get that to disconnect. Like, yo, man, you weren't responsible. You know, it wasn't your fault.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's right.

[Frankie Quinones]

And so anyways, this Blind Yoda homie dog. He. Dog. So his name is Aaron. I nicknamed him Blind Yoda. And he embraced it, you know what I'm saying? And then one of the props guys from our show is making. Making me a little Yoda with a walking. Look at the white stick with a red tip and some shades he's going to put in his office. But yeah, we did the breathing, right? We go back in time and, man, you know, and then you start crying, you're sobbing. There's snot and tears coming out of me. And. And he goes, all right, is it okay that you introduce me to him? You know, to say younger Frankie? And I'm like, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, okay. Hey, Frankie, this is Darren. He's like, you want to hold his hand? You want to grab his hand? Like, yeah, yeah. And I grab his hand, like, you're there, homie. It's a trip. It's like, all right, tell your cousin he has to leave. I'm like, you got to fucking bounce, homie. So he leaves, you know, and he's like, all right, you want to. You want to hug him and tell him it's okay, you know, you tell him, hey, it's not your fault. Come on. He's like, what's your favorite place to play? I'm like, there used to be this little dirt pile on the side of our house, and I would. You know, I would do my little Hot Wheels and dig little tunnels there. But I remember being, like, at peace because I was by myself, and I just see the trees and just dirt. And then my mom and dad weren't there. Nobody was there, because I would have resentment towards my. Even though I love my mom and dad are my heroes, homie. Straight up. But there was that level of resentment because I'm like, damn, you guys didn't do nothing about it. You know what I mean? It's the only way they knew how to handle it. So when I would be by myself, I'd be at peace. And I'd be like, there. And he goes, okay, let's take them there. And I walked with little Frankie to that pile of dirt. I'm there playing with him, and he's like, all right. And I tell him goodbye and tell him he's going to be okay now. And, you know, I'm. You know, I hug him, homie, and I'm like, I got you now, homie. You know, you don't got to worry about nothing anymore. It wasn't your fault. That fool, you know, did that fucked up shit. But I got you now, you know what I'm saying? And other people got you. And then. So now I still do these sessions where, you know, I bring other people in now and, you know, my sister will come in and take off.

[Ryan Sickler]

How long were you there?

[Frankie Quinones]

30 days.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, wow. Okay. You're there for a full 30 days?

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah. Well, you know, I was. I was partying too, you know, but. But it was. It was. It was. It was.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then when you come back to la, what happens?

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, when I come back to lm, it was. I had a lot of work to catch up on, man. It was right to work. But then.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you confront anyone? Do you reach out to anyone.

[Frankie Quinones]

Well, this. Doing this podcast is what a lot of my family, that. That's how they found out, homie. You know what I'm saying? They watched the podcast. I told you. My. My mom's sister called her crying. She was like, oh, my God. Like, Frankie's so courageous. He said that. And. And, you know, I can't believe it. And, you know, I can't believe, you know, you know, people didn't help us. And you know, because what my grandfather.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did to her, and it was support there, like.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you've just unearthed so much of the trauma you're dealing with for someone else. You unlock.

[Frankie Quinones]

But it ain't even now. It's so common, homie, that it's. And the unbelievable. Yeah, it's mind blowing. But these motherfucking weirdos, they keep getting away with it because of that. Because we're taught to just sweep it under the rug. Black and brown communities have always been like, you know, come on, that didn't happen. Or their own mothers or their own grandmothers would be like, nah, come on, you're lying. Like, you know, and you just forced to deal with it internally yourself. And it's eventually going to come and get you, homie. And my success is what forced me to deal with it.

[Ryan Sickler]

How about that?

[Frankie Quinones]

Because I thought if I checked these boxes, it would. It would take away these demons, these things that were eating at me every day, you know what I'm saying? Because there hasn't a day that hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about what happened to me, you know what I'm saying? Eats at you, homie. You look in the mirror every day like you're a fucking, you know, cocksucker piece of shit. You know, that's how you talk. That's how I would talk to myself. But I would go make people laugh, go through my day, walk by a stranger, what's up, homie? You know? And that would get me through. You know what I mean? Cause I just got feel good. Yeah, yeah. Making other people feel good is what got me through.

[Ryan Sickler]

I have a word. Because I make people feel good even if I feel like shit.

[Frankie Quinones]

Exactly, homie. And so that's how I, you know, comedy was my lane, but. Cause I just had so much pain in me every day that I needed to make people laugh, homie. But then the messages, the amount. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you up. No, no, but, homie, the amount of messages I got after I did this first honeydew was overwhelming. Dog, I couldn't even get to all of them. I'm telling you, Ryan.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Frankie Quinones]

I was like. I was even like, damn, this one this month much makes me feel awful. But, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Think of that, though. Like, that's very flattering for you to say, but also, how many of those people have. Have gone through what you've gone through, too?

[Frankie Quinones]

That's all. That's what all the messages were. One stood out to me, and that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Upsets me because you're saying, man, this motherfucker's got a lot of listeners. But all those listeners have been gone through the same, homie.

[Frankie Quinones]

There's one that stands out to me, big, homie. He's got, like, no neck. He's tatted on the neck. He looked like a truck driver or something. And, you know, I looked at his profile, but he DM me. And he goes, hey, homie, it was fuck is all fucking, you know, much respect for talking about that. He's like, you know, I never told anybody, but the same shit happened to me, you know? And I'm the only person he ever told in my DM in his whole life, homie. You know what I'm saying? And I responded to him. I say, hey, homie, you know, God bless. You know that I love you. I got your back. And I'm, you know, I'm grateful that God gave me the courage to speak up about this shit, because, you know, you're fucking. Why would you talk about it? People are gonna think you're gay or fucking da, da, da. And it's like, you know, that's how it is in our community. But I'm like, nah, fuck that, homie. Something needs to be said. And he was like. He gave me props. And this fool looked like a fuck, like, you know, like a bouncer. And I said, homie, go talk to somebody, please. You know, I say, if you need my help, I'll pay for your therapy session. You know what I'm saying?

[Ryan Sickler]

That's awesome.

[Frankie Quinones]

And then. And he's like, all right, yeah, like, you know, I'm gonna do it. And he was, like, surprised that I responded, though. He's like, whoa, you responded? He was, hey, thank you. But I got so many messages. I mean, some of them are very long and just, you know, they're telling me their whole story, and it's like, you know, we got to.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I bet you it's the first time, like you said, a lot of them are ever even putting this down in writing or telling anyone outside their inner thoughts, for sure.

[Frankie Quinones]

I'm telling you, it created waves, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Frankie Quinones]

And then it made people think about what happened to them. And then it's like, hey, because, you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Know, there's resources, great fans. This is like, when your kids goes. I say it all the time. When your kids go to sleepover.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

They come back and the parents are like, they were so well behaved and so nice, y'all. The thank you for supporting Frankie. I mean, and he's right. Go talk to somebody.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, yeah, go talk there. There's a lot of free resources out there, too, to get some. Some therapy.

[Ryan Sickler]

So coming out of the rehab and stuff, what mindset did you have when you came back home outside of the work? I know, because that can also keep us occupied. And we don't even have to think.

[Frankie Quinones]

About the same way.

[Ryan Sickler]

Work through, walk it off.

[Frankie Quinones]

That was a dangerous thing for me, which my sister pointed out to me. You know, she goes. Because I would. You know, like I said, I thought, you know, chasing this dream. And I was 35. I was 10 years in. I started when I was 25. I was already 10 years in the game, and I'm 35 already, and I'm sleeping on my homie's couch. He's charging me 200 bucks a month. I'm chasing this dream, though. But I didn't get nobody pregnant. I just had to worry about myself. But, you know, my family's worried about me. I'm like. I'm like, hey, I'm a comedian. They're like, hey, get a job. You know, But I'm like, but eventually, when I was 36, it popped out for me. And then, you know, Cholo Fit went viral. Then me and the Dress Up Gang sold the show to tbs. It all happened within the same year. And then, you know, I told you this story. I was delivering a sandwich on Doordash or whatever, and that was my last delivery. Because I got the call while I was delivering that we had sold the show.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Frankie Quinones]

And so, you know, I delivered that sandwich and go in the car and I'm crying. I called my mom and said, we fucking did it, homie. You know what I mean? Because my mom's like, my homie. She had me at a young age. And she's like, she's real hood, you know, even though she knows how to put on her face. Like, I always make fun of her because you should work at a chiropractor office as a secretary, like, in the hood, though, you know? And then she'd be like, she would always stash me under the Desk, I guess, you know, to just so how she got off work. So in between school or whatever. And she'd be like telling me, you know, like yelling at me, and I tell me, why don't you shut up? He's like a prison. And then the doctor would walk and she'd be like, hi, doctor. You know, da, da, da. Like doing that whole thing. So she could, she could, she was, she did a good job of that. But, you know, she, me and my sister carry a lot of her pain. Like, you know, she went through a lot and I learned that through getting educated on this stuff when I went to get treatment at these places, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you had a sit down with your mom about all this since?

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, yeah, since.

[Ryan Sickler]

How did that go?

[Frankie Quinones]

It, it, it was heavy. You know, they came out, they came out, you know, to this place in Utah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, they came to see you.

[Frankie Quinones]

We did this thing called the Ring of Fire. You know, you sit knee to knee facing each other and you, you know, you just go through it and there's a room full of other families going through same stuff, homie. It's, it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. I would never have expected my mom and dad to be doing some shit like that, but they stepped up for me, homie, and they apologized to me for the first time last year. And it all, it all started because, you know, when I spoke up on this honeydew thing and it created all these waves and now that line of communication is just open with my mom and dad, which I would never have expected on me, you know what I'm saying? Like my dad's fucking, you know, just, you know, he just holds everything in. I mean.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, we were, Kirsten and I were talking about, I think you said he used to get you up like 5am because you were like, you want to fucking be that? You better. You're going, you're going to get up and do it, right?

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh yeah. When I wanted to be a cholo. Yeah, yeah. You want to wear dickies on me? You're going to crease those at 5am before I leave to work. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. So you got a hardcore dad breaking down and some sons.

[Frankie Quinones]

He's. As he got older, he softened up. He's so cool, man. That's why creepers based off him, you know, he's so positive.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what should happen.

[Frankie Quinones]

You know, my dad's, you know, positive as. Hey, you know, he was a little, little rough around, rougher around the edges when I was younger. But, you know, as he got older.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you talked to your mom's sister who came forward about.

[Frankie Quinones]

I did. You know what? I do, I do want to have a deeper talk with my tia Linda. She's definitely going to watch this, probably.

[Ryan Sickler]

What'S up to you, Linda.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. But yeah, I do want to have a deeper talk with her about it. But I'm also proud of my mom because she, she started going to therapy too, you know. Damn. Yeah, also honeydew. From the honeydew, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

Proud of this dance. I'm proud of what I'm doing.

[Frankie Quinones]

So. Yeah, yeah, so I told you, I said, mom, you know, I'm grateful that you did that because you learn, you get educated in these things where if you hold this heavy trauma in and you're. And you're having kids, it goes through the DNA and it carries in and it could create trauma, could create knots in areas of your body that could eventually manufacture into a disease, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

Cancer.

[Frankie Quinones]

So, you know, it's like, or whatever, you gotta get it out, bro, or else.

[Ryan Sickler]

So, and I'm asking a personal question you do not need to answer, but has your mom discovered that things like this has gone on in her family as well? Is this something that's been going on, I mean, always been swept under the.

[Frankie Quinones]

Rug, or was this, you know, it happened in her own home growing up, you know, and she was the oldest of all her siblings, you know, and she had a lot of siblings. And you know, she started off, they started off in the projects, you know, and she's in our military dad, he's from an Indian reservation, so he grew up, you know, be getting his ass beat by his stepdad on an Indian reservation. So he couldn't wait to get out of there. He lied on his military application and said he was 18 when he was really still 16 or 17. But, you know, he spread that trauma to his own daughters and did what he did. And you know, and people are like, oh, you know, you shouldn't say that about it. I don't give a fuck on me. I'm saying this because otherwise that's why it's going to keep happening. I hope that these fucking weirdos or whatever get the message. Like, hey, homie. Yeah, like people are going to start speaking up now.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's right. You know, your secret is not a secret.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, it ain't no secret. Like, oh, that my dog. Just keep your distance from him. I'm like that weird uncle. Get him the out of there.

[Ryan Sickler]

We're gonna call him out at Christmas in front of everybody.

[Frankie Quinones]

Exactly, homie. Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Uncle Larry, stop trying to touch my kids.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. Quick. Trying to get my daughter center lap, you little weirdo.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah, that. Yeah, I agree, man. Put them on blast.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, yeah, but it's. Yeah, I mean, it's. It's. It's heavy, man, but it's.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you talked to the. The cousin. Your cousin who did this?

[Frankie Quinones]

You know what? None of this would have ever happened if he would have responded to me when I. I gave him his chances, homie. Just because he's my. My family. He's my first cousin, homie. We grew up like brothers. Who.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dad's brother? Mom.

[Frankie Quinones]

My. It's my dad's sister's sons.

[Ryan Sickler]

Right.

[Frankie Quinones]

There's three of them, though.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, okay.

[Frankie Quinones]

And we grew up, you know, we would go fishing, we'll go to fun. You know, my dad would, you know, take Help, take. Take care of him. And he was so. You know, so he was older, so.

[Ryan Sickler]

You gave him an opportunity to.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. So this is like, what, maybe 10 years ago? I texted him, right? I go, hey, primo, you know, we need to talk about. They came back, ghosted me, right? And then I see him at my grandpa's house, another barbecue. This is like. I go, hey, I'll take you to lunch, my treat. You know what we need to talk about? Like, let's take care of this, homie. You know? And then he look at me, like, sideways. I'm like, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then ghosted me again. So I gave him his chances, homie, Twice. To just squash this shit, to talk it out, just because we're family. Like, I wanted an apology, homie. You know, I wanted him to be, fuck, I'm sorry, man. And da, da, da. But he never apologized to me, you know, he event. He apologized to my dad, never me, you know, and then he tried to deny it at first, and he admitted it, and he not tried to say we're lying.

[Ryan Sickler]

So wait, you know, he admitted it after the podcast came out. Like he had to fess up to the family.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, well. Yeah, well, he was denied it at first, and then he. And then he admitted it. He admitted it to you? He admitted it to his parents, to his wife.

[Ryan Sickler]

He did, yeah.

[Frankie Quinones]

Not. No, not to me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Not to you, though.

[Frankie Quinones]

Ah, I'll see your dad.

[Ryan Sickler]

Or he just apologize.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, because my dad went to his work and was like, hey, homie, like, you stay away from. You know, you're not. You can't come to the patent no more. Or none of that. And I guess he broke down and cried and apologized to my dad, but never apologized to me. And it's crazy because I found out in the treatment that they said like 95 of the time, predators will not apologize to their victims for whatever reason. It's crazy, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you said he admitted it to some family members and you said he, he now denied it.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, but then. Yeah, so, okay, so he admitted.

[Ryan Sickler]

Deny all along.

[Frankie Quinones]

And then he tried it and then I guess him and another, whatever one of his family members are trying to tell people where. Because another victim came out. My other cousin. I was going to this came out. Yeah, I'm sure, you know, and it's another. I'm sure there are more that another first cousin, homie. Who it is. And I, and I can't believe that, you know, I, I was pissed that it happened to him too. But I'm also grateful that he spoke up because he's a real machine. He works for LA Water and Power. I don't want to say his name because, you know, it's a job, but you know what I'm saying? He's a tough ass fool, you know what I'm saying? He knocks fools out. You know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

This other family member that's supporting him, did this guy also do the same to people? Is that why he's got this guy's back? You know what I'm asking?

[Frankie Quinones]

Wait, wait, wait, say that again.

[Ryan Sickler]

There was something another one of their family members started saying it was a lie as well, like supporting him. Is that guy guilty of the same thing?

[Frankie Quinones]

Not that I know of. But all I know is, you know, the, the experts that I met when I was able to, you know, because I, I was grateful. Now I have insurance, obviously through, you know, SAG and Writers Guild and all that. But you know, I got so much education on it and they were like, you know, the average, you know, like predator has about 12 to 24 victims. Oh, that's like the average homie. And me and my, my other first cousin are definitely not his only victims. You know, I'm saying. So that's when I was like, all right, I'm, I'm going to say something now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you talked to other first cousin?

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You did?

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, it was triggering. He called me, you know, he's.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who's older?

[Frankie Quinones]

Him.

[Ryan Sickler]

He is, yeah.

[Frankie Quinones]

And then, and then the other one's older. The older than both of us.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did it happen to both of them?

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, it did.

[Ryan Sickler]

And so this happened to them before you then?

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, so he Called me. He called my mom shaking. He goes, yeah, I'm shaking right now. I never told anybody, but that should happen to me too. And I wish I would have said something, cuz I could have saved Frankie, you know? Oh. And so.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, he's carrying that.

[Frankie Quinones]

But, you know, now even he goes to therapy, homie. It's like, you know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't mean to lay the whole.

[Frankie Quinones]

I know. Like, hey, it's time to go to therapy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did an episode of the whole goddamn.

[Frankie Quinones]

Frankie's on this podcast putting us on blast. So we need to go to therapy now, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

So, yeah. Oh, so this. Go ahead. Sorry.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, yeah. No, no, but yeah, yeah. So that. That. That cousin. Yeah, he had my back, man. And I didn't know how. Even his whole family, because I got no problem with Theo and Tia, you know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

They're the parents of this cousin.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. Obviously they. They felt bad. They. They apologized to my dad and da, da, da. And I still got love for them. They were always cool to me, you know what I'm saying? You know? And obviously something happened to him for me to do this, for him to do it to me. But his younger youngest brother is one of my closest cousins. Right. And I didn't know how he was going to take it, but he took my side. You know, he hasn't talked to his brother since October. Last October.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Frankie Quinones]

And, you know, he's checking on me all the time because, you know, he. He. The things he had to go through to find out that that's the person his brother was.

[Ryan Sickler]

But did it happen to him as well?

[Frankie Quinones]

No, No, I said. Well, you know, he says he didn't, but, you know. Yeah, I don't know, man. You know, people are gonna.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you're right. It happened to him, too. The abuser. So who's doing that? And is it someone else in the family that's holding that, too?

[Frankie Quinones]

It could. It could be on me. I mean, he would. That same cousin. I'm listening to a. Up to me. Like, he would get a weed whacker and have me in the corner of the garage, like, to my face, and I'd be like, oh, crying. And he'd be like, all right. And I'm gonna go, you. That's wild.

[Ryan Sickler]

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help. The holidays are coming up. Look, I'm going to tell you straight up. My favorite thing at the holidays is to put all the Christmas lights on at night, turn all the regular lights off, and then sit there and chill and watch Movies. I don't know how you stay cozy during the winter months, but that's what I like to do. And for some, wrap it up in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate or watching a movie with family is the best way to spend the month of December. Therapy is also a great way to bring yourself some comfort that never goes away, even when the season changes. You know, we're big believers in therapy here we talk about all the time. Frankie and his family are now doing it. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you switch therapist anytime for no additional charge. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.comhoneydew today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L P.comhoneydew this show is sponsored by Liquid IV. Whether you forget to take a sip of water during the office holiday party or you start feeling parched after a long day of traveling, keep Liquid IV on hand to stay hydrated through the holidays. With convenient packets of their hydration multiplier, you get eight vitamins and nutrients, three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink and no artificial sweeteners. We love Liquid IV over here. You know, we take it with us everywhere. And now that we're getting into flu season, I love breaking out that tangerine with the immune support. Y'all find all your favorite hydration multiplier flavors on their website. From acai berry and lemon lime to pina colada. They even have great tasting sugar free options. Tear poor Libmore one stick plus 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. Always non GMO, vegan, gluten free, dairy free and soy free. Stay hydrated through the holidays with Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to Liquid IV.com and use code Honeydew at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop Better Hydration today using promo code honeydew@liquid IV.com now let's get back to the do.

[Frankie Quinones]

But you know what? But, but like, honestly, like I've had so much to be grateful for because you know, my mom and dad are still married, man, and you know, seem.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like you have a good family.

[Frankie Quinones]

They came from supportive, they came from nothing, homie. The bottoms, you know, and they worked their Asses off. And we started out a one bedroom apartment in the Valley, and then they, then they worked their way up, you know what I'm saying? And then I witnessed that. I was, I was honored to witness that, you know, and their religion was like old school funk and like, you know, they pay rancheras and all that too. But like Die Hard Funk fans, like, my sister's name is Tina Marie. Oh, yeah, they went to Rick James's funeral. They're like, yeah, yeah. And that's how they dealt with this, you know, just as fans.

[Ryan Sickler]

Not because they knew him just as bad as.

[Frankie Quinones]

So, like, you know, I mean, that, that whole, like, wait, who are you named after? That how they got it?

[Ryan Sickler]

Who's the Frankie after?

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, well, you know, they say Frankie Beverly, but it was, you know, you know, Mays. Yeah, yeah, but, you know, but really I'm named after my grandpa. His name's Francisco, but he changed his name to Frank so he could get a job in America because he lived around that time. But. But my sister really is. Yeah, named after Tina Maria. My mom was so mad because Tina Marie died shortly after Rick James and they didn't make like a big thing of it. So my mom was like writing letters to like, the news, to like Channel 5 news, you know, like, hey, like, Tina Marie died. You guys are going to say nothing about it, you know, but you know what I'm saying? So that, that part of it too is like, as I got older too, and I realized how much pain my mom was living with, I could see like, oh, that this is a remedy, you know, like music and comedy, you know, even. Even when they were struggling, homie, we would get our water turned off, our light. We would get our lights turned off. But she had a boombox, homie, with double D batteries and she would light a bunch of candles and she put on some. Some old school jams, you know. And I remember she put on, you know, some maze or some, you know, cameo confunction, you know, some old Smokey Robinson or something. And we, Me and. Me and my sister would be. Just be dancing with her, you know, in the living room and we're thinking like, oh, we're having a little, like, candle party. But looking back on it, like, damn, like, for a parent to like, what was going through her head and to.

[Ryan Sickler]

Make it fun and enjoyable to me.

[Frankie Quinones]

I mean, that takes some. That takes a special heart right there.

[Ryan Sickler]

It sure does. It sure does.

[Frankie Quinones]

It's like, you know, and I'm. And you know, I've had. I've had a good life. So that's why I kept. It was another reason for me to suppress what happened to me, because I'm like, nah, man, come on, you got to have to be grateful for, you know, like, you know, because we worked our way up, you know, my mom and dad, we moved from a one bedroom apartment to a town home to a cul de sac. Then I had Rollerblades. I was like, hey, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

My.

[Frankie Quinones]

Mama get jealous soon.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is what I love about where I come from too. That is, that's it. That's making it right there, Rollerblade. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's amazing. These other people worried about Lamborghini and I'm like, man, let's just live with the bag of a cul de sac.

[Frankie Quinones]

And my mom was jealous of my rollerblades, homie, you know, because. Oh, you're having fun, huh? Your little rollerblades? Yeah, you know, I had like this one white friend that lived down the street. Oh, you got a white friend, huh? Yeah. Cool. Enjoy that. You know, I'd be like, yeah, thank you. Like, you know, like, you gave this to me. Yeah. She'd be like, yeah, but yeah, I think the most important thing, man, is like, you know, I, you know, Ali Wong is producing and directing my first one hour special that's, you know, will be, you know, that will be. Be out. We're going to record it next year and it'll be out. And you know, I talk about, I've been working on material. I open up about a lot of this stuff. And I asked her, you know, I go, man, is this, is this like going to be too heavy for like the mainstream or da da, da. And she goes, not only do I think that you should talk, say those jokes and talk about that stuff, I think it's important that you do.

[Ryan Sickler]

I agree. And so I think you're opening up something that needs to be opened and talked about, especially on the male side of things. But yeah, so many people can relate to this, obviously, male and female, but especially male and men just suppressing all this and like I say, walking it.

[Frankie Quinones]

Off and just, most of them will, will die just holding it in.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, they'll never want it.

[Frankie Quinones]

But, but if they can get to a spot and get to get enough courage to go talk about it or go get even therapy or just, you know, tell their family or whatever the k, whatever the step is to get it out, they could have such a better life, you know, and they don't have to die. That Way. You know what I'm saying? Which is crazy. Home is my heavy shit.

[Ryan Sickler]

Tell me that, like, I would have.

[Frankie Quinones]

Been that way if I didn't have success, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

So it's like, how do you. Do you really believe that? You don't think you ever would have talked about this if success didn't come your way?

[Frankie Quinones]

I don't think so. I mean, eventually, you know, I. You don't have to be successful to deal with it. Obviously, that's not the reason, but in my head, if I check these boxes, if I become a headliner, if I. If I imagine if I was able to buy a house, imagine if I was on a TV show and I checked all those home. I checked all those boxes, you know, and I was in the home that I bought doing comedy, the thing that I love, you know, I would finish a project and I would be home, you know, having to be with myself, you know, especially during the pandemic. And I was the most miserable I had ever been, homie. And I had. I had checked all your boxes, everything I wanted.

[Ryan Sickler]

It didn't solve one thing.

[Frankie Quinones]

Hell no.

[Ryan Sickler]

Actually made it worse.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, it's. It was a illusion in my head, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

So coming out of the therapy, then how things changed for. With your mindset about all of it.

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, man, it changed my life. Like, first of all, just working up the courage to open up about it. That changed my life. And then going to get that treatment with the blind Yoda, man, that fool changed my life. He rocked my world, dog. And then we might be all, like, crying. Then he dimmed the lights up when we were done, and then he would feel for the. He had a little Eminem homie with the hand, and he would. He's. He's blind, though, so he would feel for it, and he would feel that little hand and he would click it, and two little M&M's would come out, and then he'll give it to me, and I'd be like, oh, okay, like. And I'm all, like, crying. But. But, yeah, that. That. That changed my life. And I've been doing work ever since. Now I'm doing, like, EMDR and Pasadena. Yeah, I mean, I'm doing all that. I'm doing all the things, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

I preach EMDR on this podcast. Dr. Drew.

[Frankie Quinones]

Really? Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

I didn't know about it either. I had. Long story short, my daughter had almost got hit by a car, and, man, it. It unearthed like, I'd had no idea. All the anxiety and issues I had, they were just they had been laying in a hammock just chilling for 35 motherfucking years. They were like, oh, it's our time now. And they. I became scared to fly heights. I couldn't go up escalators. I came unhinged. And I had to go to emdr. And he had told me about it. He's like, it's not talk therapy. It's very different.

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

I said, no, I've never done it. I went to this lady, dude, and he said, there is a beginning and there's an end to this, and some people get there quicker. She would tell me, man, I sleep on flights now. I fucking.

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

I live on the top floor of my building. You know what I mean? Like, the shit worked. But you gotta understand what is driving that. And it's all trauma. And it would be. Go back to that time where this is happening, and then they will talk to you about it. And you're either clicking the things in your hands or whatever, moving your eyes, and at the end, she would say, okay, these are the things you said. And here's what I heard a bunch. And you start to see this common thread that you don't even realize, and you're like, so think about this and this. And you're like, oh, yeah. And then what happens next? And you're like, this and this and this and this. It's because that's our trauma response.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is to just keep moving forward.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Keep going.

[Frankie Quinones]

Just keep it moving on me, man. I gotta be honest. Like, when I first went to the MDR and he pulled out the little lights, I kind of rolled my eyes. I was like, who's gonna give me a little light show? Or like, we have to rave right now? Like, you know? But then, like, five minutes later, I'm like, yeah, but. But the little handbook, the little hand buzzers work for me, you know? And he was like. He was like, is it good to let the left and the right brain to talk to each other? He's like, your. Your right side's holding your trauma. He's like. And your left side is the language. And you feel like you still feel the guilt and shame because you feel like it just happened yesterday, which is how I feel, that I was on my knees doing all that or whatever he was doing to me. And. But if you get the left side to talk to, it explains to the trauma. Like, yo, it wasn't your fault, and it was a long time ago. Like, you're good now. You're protected now, you know? And it's all that stuff. And so it's interesting that they figured that. That out, homie, But. But, like, yeah, I was. I was numbing it all out with. With drugs, you know, and, you know, I was. Cocaine was never really my thing. I would dabble in it here and there. You know, we're comedians. I mean, it'd be at the comedy club. Hey, you want a voucher? It would never, like, get me during the pandemic when I was forced to, like, be with myself. I wanted it. I needed to numb it out. And so, yeah, I was going crazy, homie. I was fucking walking around paddock, a little gremlin, all sweaty. Should I do another line? That's about a half an hour, so another half an hour, I can do it, you know. Hey, homie, I fucking. I turn it. I turn into a lab rat. You know what I'm saying? It was terrible, homie. And, yeah, and that was never even my word of choice.

[Ryan Sickler]

You were detoxing as well at this facility is you're doing a double duty.

[Frankie Quinones]

On the CH trauma Detox. I was already kind of cleaning up because I was with you like, three days before I left over there, but I was already kind of cleaning it up.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did you know you were going when you. When we did the podcast? You did?

[Frankie Quinones]

Okay, yeah, I knew. I already knew I was going. Yeah, yeah. And so. And my cousin. I had a show. I remember I had a show at the Comedy Store, and then I was opening for Ali Wong and that. The Long beach, whatever that theater is down there. My cousin Ruben was with me. He had me, like, in a headlock, you know, to make sure I didn't go nowhere on me. And they took me to the airport in the morning. Boom. Then they had a representative there pick me up in Utah, you know, and that was it, homie. And so, yeah, and ever since then, I've been doing work on myself every day. You know, I've always prayed, but now I, like, pray a different way because now I've processed this stuff, you know, and I'm just like. I get on my knees every morning, you know, I thank God, you know, I'm grateful to be alive because, you know, I got close to death, man, and, you know, I was. I was. I wanted to die, you know, and it sounds weak and all that bullshit. And, you know, and I felt. I felt like, fuck, you know, this was a little bitch. He wants to talk about I was molested or fucking or. Oh, he wants to die and da, da, da. But, you know, nobody under you never know what somebody's going through or how to deal with that. Like, I would fucking want to fight somebody, you know? I'm saying, like, that's not the answer either, you know? And it's like, okay, you think I'm fucking weak? What's up then, homie? Let's go. You know? And then fucking, I'll probably get my ass kicked, but whatever, you know. And so I don't want to have that anger in me anymore. You know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

Anger is what kills you.

[Frankie Quinones]

But those demons that come for you every day that you have to deal with every day, they got so strong, man. Especially after I thought I did all the things that were going to make me happy and they didn't. Obviously I loved what I do and I would never fuck around. I would never party while I was working. Like when we were doing this full. I was in that shit and it was saving me. It would keep me occupied and I was able to stay in character because the days are so long, 12, 15 hour days. You go home, study your next lines for the next day for like an hour. Then you go to bed, hopefully you sleep four or five hours and you're back on the set the next day. It just takes over your life, but you're able to dial in the character and that was it. And then, but then you finish, you know, and then you have money and you have idle time and so yeah, man, I just started doing a bunch of drugs and then I just, you know, and I kept thinking about these, the pain and, you know, and the worthlessness. You feel like, fuck, man, nobody gives a fuck. And nobody spoke up for me, Nobody. Like, why would this happen? And it happened in my home or our home. That's where I'm supposed to be safe, homie. That's where everybody's supposed to be safe in their home. And instead I'm fucking. My life got fucked up, my head got fucked up. But there's a silver lining, because I don't think I would be a successful comedian if I didn't have that pain in me. Because that's how I dealt with the pain, was being funny. Hey, what's up? Positive vibes. Because I was hurting so much inside, you know, and it's like, now I know that it'll always be a part of me, but I'm able to like kind of harness the pain and work with it and, you know, just find that balance, you know, where it's not, it's not eating me. I'm able to bring in protection I talk to the younger Frankie every day. Like, hey, homie. Because he did a lot of. He did a lot of shit to me in the shower. So every day I get in the shower, I'll think about it. But now when I get the shower, I'm like, hey, homie, he's not here no more. I got you. Like, we're just bathing, you know, we're gonna start this day. We're gonna kill this. And I look in the mirror and I say, you about to get it today, boy. Let's go. You know what I'm saying? And so that's been like, a. A tremendous, tremendous help, homie. And it's just like. And now, you know, prayer, meditation, all those things. My relationship with God has just been my lifesaver. You know what I mean? And so when. When I'm able to help people, that's the number one thing. It's like, whether it's feeding homeless at Skid Row or just, like, helping younger people are working with charities or whatever I could do to help is like the number one thing that kind of keeps me, you know. You know, cool, you know, away from the banners. But. But, you know, the darkest moment was, you know, when I had a show at the Laugh Factory and at the Comedy Store on the same night, right? And after I get out of the commissar, I get a suite at the Andaz. You know, it's next door to the Commissar, and I get a suite with the Balcony Torpedo. I'm like, yeah, we're partying. I'm like, it's time to celebrate. I had just finished doing season two of this full the Walking Dead and what we do in the Shadows and some shows in Austin. So I was like. I had been working for five months, and I'm like, I'm gonna celebrate. But then I. Then it came for me, you know, I was partying for. I kept extending the stay. Stay for, like, three days. Then I'm getting all fucking twisted and paranoid at the end. I think are gonna come, like, they're gonna rob me that these fools are texting people. So I kick them all out, you know? I was like, nice about it, though. I'm like, hey, you guys gotta jam in a little bit, okay? Because. Hey. And then they end up leaving. And then I party for like, a whole nother day. Then I take by yourself? Yeah. And then I take, like, a few Xanax bars. Watch down with a bottle of Crown Royal. My head's up against the headboard like this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Jesus Christ.

[Frankie Quinones]

Like this and I'm like, like I can't move homie because and I'm saying start saying my goodbyes and I'm sorry apologizing to my sister. I thank God for my time on earth.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is what you're doing. Out loud.

[Frankie Quinones]

Out loud I'm saying it. I'm sorry you know thank you God for my time. You know I'm sorry mom, sorry dad, you know saying listen all my homies, my cousins, sorry Esteban, you know stevanorials.

[Ryan Sickler]

So many people if you'd have had a mob down the dog you be dead homie.

[Frankie Quinones]

But yeah, yeah.

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[Frankie Quinones]

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[Frankie Quinones]

Autotrader.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Frankie Quinones]

But, like, if the hotel security didn't wake me up, I don't think I'd be alive.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, they did wake you up.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, they woke me up. And they're like, hey, we call the paramedics.

[Ryan Sickler]

Were they trying.

[Frankie Quinones]

No, it was time. It was the checkout time. And I guess the maids went in there. And I'm fucking there, fucking. You know, there's. There's pedal all over. Pedal is like, you know, things like drugs and, like, around all over. And so they called the. And I'm like, you know, and I. I, like, got up and I thought I was still like, okay, I'm somewhere else. And I'm like, oh, I'm alive still. And then. And that's when I finally got my sister. I got my sister on the phone. She goes, you promised me right now you're gonna go get help, you know? And I said, okay, man. I promise you, you know? And I. And I was just in that cloud, homie, of like, this is the path that God laid out for me. And now it's time for me to go, you know, I was convinced, and then now I got through it. My. You know, my sister is like. You know, she saved my life, man. And she's, like, the heart of our family, you know, and she's an artist, and she's. She's got such a big heart. And my mom and dad went through so much, especially my mom, you know, so we carry a lot of her pain. And for me, to. My sister wrote me a letter to say how things would play out if I died, you know, like, for my godchildren, for her, for my mom, for my dad. And after I read that letter, I said, this ain't about you no more, homie. You know? This ain't about you, right? This is about all the people that you can help, and most importantly, about your family, about your godchildren. My goddaughter's name is Frankie, you know, after me. And to think that I was in a place where I thought it'd be better for her if I left, you know, it's crazy, homie, but that's where those demons and the will take over. That's why it's important to process this trauma, you know what I'm saying? And now I'm so grateful to be alive. And I got so much talent, I got so much ideas in my head that I want to share with the world, you know? And when I go into a room full of strangers, homie, there's fuck, you know, performing for 5,000 to a thousand people. I'm floating, I'm like, I got you. Like, I want your heart, homie. I'm giving you my all right now. And I love you, you know, and when you walk out of there, I want you to feel like I'm your friend, you know, because that's one thing that God gave me is, is love for people, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, you really. How long ago was your episode?

[Frankie Quinones]

Who? It was early, early, early last year. So let me see. I went in 2023. It was probably like April or May of 2023.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, you really, you really dove into this and went all in. You really did.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. So that was the beginning of it for you when I did it, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

But I mean, we're a little over a year right now and you've done all this. I want to ask you a couple questions before we wrap this up. Like, I guess it's a two part question. Do you think you will ever have a conversation with this cousin? And if so, how do you think you'll take it now knowing the way he's behaved and blown it off? Would it be different than it would have been if it was, you know, he just was honest? Or are you going to be more defensive about it now?

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, I don't know, man. What's happened lately is, and I don't know, I mean, are there any functions? I offered him the face to face, you know, and he, he bitched out basically. You know, he goes to me, didn't respond, and I would even try to make efforts. I'll go to his, his family's like, whatever, barbecues, and I'm, I'm showing my face to him, you know, I'm, hey, homie, I'm here, you know, like. And you're not gonna say nothing, you know, I'm your first cousin, homie. I apologize at least. But he's too weak to even do that. So, you know what, that's it, you know, like, it's one thing, it's like, oh, well, those people need help. Yeah, he needs help. He's, you know, he said he was gonna get help. I hope he does get help. But to not get apologize when I gave you the opportunity to. Fucking weak, homie. You know, and, and you know, and he's not a small guy and he has a big old money. He's like, he's fucking a bitch, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

But the thing too is like I, and I don't know this, I'm asking Because I'm ignorant to this. But, like, I feel like that's a behavior that doesn't just stop.

[Frankie Quinones]

That's what. That's my main concern.

[Ryan Sickler]

Right. So then you're talking about nieces, nephews, grandkids, whatever it is, you know, he.

[Frankie Quinones]

Knows he's a sick person.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what I'm saying.

[Frankie Quinones]

Like, so go do something about it.

[Ryan Sickler]

If you don't fix it, it doesn't seem like you age out of being a predator.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. You don't.

[Ryan Sickler]

You don't just retire from it. Like, I'll do that anymore. I'll do that anymore, man. I'll touch kids. I'm done now, man. I stopped touching kids.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. And the therapist told me that they go, once they stop, once they start, they can't stop.

[Ryan Sickler]

There's no way. There's no way. If you're gonna. If you're gonna risk life in prison and like this, then you can't stop. You don't just one day wake up and go, I'm not gonna do that.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, no, I'm not into that anymore. Yeah, no. You know, I hope he gets helped, though, man. He. He is my family. He is my first cousin. But like I said, you know, for me to even. People are like, man, that was nice of you to give him those chances. And. And he knows it is. And he knows. And I'll say it on camera. He knows that I texted him, and he know. And if he tries to tell people that. That. That I didn't, or try to say no, he never hit me up, that's bullshit.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, here's the other thing, too, Frankie. Like, there's nobody that would think I'm going to do this to this kid. And then one day this kid's going to grow up and have a voice louder than.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Anybody ever, and then can call me out. You get to live with a lie for, what, 30 years. Imagine that. And it comes back to get you in your. How old's he?

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, well, he's probably.

[Ryan Sickler]

How much older is he than you?

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah, he's in his 50s. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you think about that. 40 years, 45 years. You're. You get to live with this lie. And then all of a sudden, well.

[Frankie Quinones]

He'S been getting away with it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. This fucking guy gets a show.

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh, shit. Become successful. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kaboom.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. And, you know, and it was also me that. Having to hold that in for 30, 30 plus years on me how, like, that's like, you know, to hear my mom say, you know, because my mom accomplished A lot. She used that. She used the pain and everything she's been through to. As her motivation to be like. Everybody told her, you ain't gonna be shit, you know, fucking da, da, da. And. And she, she hustled. She was a hustler. I mean, she works and worked and worked and, you know, and she's still, she's still young, you know, like, we're homies. We go to concerts together. We go, you know, like funk concerts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the homie, man. And my dad just there in the background like, hey, you know, like, you know, but my mom's the firecracker. My mom's the firecracker, you know, so. Yeah, so to. To my mom's like, you know, she said, mijo, you know, we both did the same thing. To be able to accomplish as much as you did with the amount of pain that you have to deal with every day is incredible, you know, and it's something that, you know, makes me want to cry right now, but it's like, but that. It also was like a part of the motivation. It's like, damn, man, this shit is so dark. It's so heavy. The demons that I deal with every day. But that's what made me like not miss a day of work. Fucking be ready to work all day. Be ready for another 10 hour day. Because I'm like, well, you know, I'm gonna. I wanna, like, I'm trying to fight this, you know. And so it was something that we had, but now we're taking it to a whole different level with, with doing, you know, the emdr, the therapy, the. I'm doing everything, homie. You know, I go to groups, I go to. Because, you know, like, you almost died, homie. I was supposed to be dead, you know, and so. And I almost died in a car accident on Highway 1 when I was 17. So I thought about that. I'm just like, man, I got so. I have so many brushes with death and I'm still here. So I know God wants me here, homie.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Frankie Quinones]

And so.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you're making it count.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're not just coasting along. You're making it count. You're making a difference for a lot of people.

[Frankie Quinones]

And I'm. Yeah, I know. I know that people, especially people in my community that black me that hear this, they're gonna. There's gonna be at least one person that's gonna speak up about what happened to them just from hearing this, you know, and that's a win for us, homie. You know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

Dude, thank you. Thank you for doing this episode. I know. I'm very pleasantly surprised and happy that all of the work you've done since the last episode. I'm glad that this did that. I know we laughed about everybody popping off into therapy now, but it's good because the next generation and the one after that and your family are going to be safer.

[Frankie Quinones]

That's the whole thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's who we got to look at. And that already happened to us. Gotta look out for it easily.

[Frankie Quinones]

Yeah. Because it goes in your DNA, homie. Trauma goes in the DNA.

[Ryan Sickler]

So thank you, dude. Promote whatever you'd like one more time.

[Frankie Quinones]

Oh yeah. Oh man. Just. Yeah, yeah. All the things man. Go to. Go to check out Frankie Quinones YouTube represent. Check out Cholo Fit, homie. You know what I'm saying? This one Hulu. And then look out for my special producing directed by Ali Wong dropping on Hulu next year. That's what's up.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you, brother.

[Frankie Quinones]

Nah. Thank you, Ryan. I appreciate you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Of course, as always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Come see me on tour. Tickets for all dates are on my website@ryan sickler.com. we'll talk to you all next week.

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[Ryan Sickler]

Too smart comes up a lot.

[Frankie Quinones]

So why are you trying to prove them wrong? Why aren't you pushing the limits of.

[Ryan Sickler]

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