LeeAnn Kreischer - HoneyLeeAnn

Summary

Episode Summary: LeeAnn Kreischer - HoneyLeeAnn

Podcast Information:

• Title: The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler
• Host: Ryan Sickler
• Episode: LeeAnn Kreischer - HoneyLeeAnn
• Release Date: November 11, 2024

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler, host Ryan Sickler welcomes back LeeAnn Kreischer to delve into her experiences as a single mother, co-parenting with comedian Bert Kreischer, and navigating the complexities of family life. Drawing from their unique journey, LeeAnn shares heartfelt stories, challenges, and insights that resonate with anyone juggling family and personal aspirations.

---

Early Parenting and Co-Parenting Dynamics ([09:31] - [19:02])

Managing Dual Roles

• Ryan: Opens the conversation by acknowledging LeeAnn's role in managing two young daughters while co-parenting with Bert ([09:31]).

• LeeAnn: Explains how Bert began touring when their daughter Georgia was just three days old, leading to a shared parenting arrangement that resembled single parenting periods ([09:37]).

  “When Bert was home, he was fully present from when I got out of the house until I came back. It was like being divorced in terms of parenting.” ([10:49])

Balancing Work and Family

• LeeAnn: Discusses managing an apartment building to maintain a flexible schedule for writing and parenting ([10:49]).

• Ryan: Highlights the challenges of balancing work and family, commending LeeAnn's ability to juggle both roles effectively.

  “What you need is a job that allows you to take care of your kids while still finding time for yourself.”

---

Building a Community and Managing Single Parenting ([21:54] - [28:41])

Creating a Support Network

• LeeAnn: Emphasizes the importance of building a community to support single parenting. She started a Girl Scout troop early on, providing both personal fulfillment and a structured environment for her daughters ([24:56]).

  “Starting the Girl Scout troop gave me a purpose bigger than myself. It allowed me to connect with other families and create a support system.” ([24:56])

Collaborative Parenting

• LeeAnn: Shares how coordinating with other single parents provided mutual support, making parenting less isolating and more manageable.

  “If any other single parent can find another single parent to support each other, it makes life so much fuller.”

---

Empty Nest and Relationship Adjustments ([32:19] - [55:52])

Transitioning to Empty Nest

• LeeAnn: Discusses the emotional and practical adjustments of becoming empty nesters as their daughters went to college ([32:19]).

  “Bert and I handle life changes differently. I face things head-on, while he tends to avoid them, which creates a unique dynamic.” ([32:19])

Coping Mechanisms

• LeeAnn: Describes Bert's struggles with the transition, illustrating his difficulty in managing emotions when their daughters left for college ([34:29]).

  “He’s been walking around in a daze, unable to process the change, while I try to keep things moving forward.” ([34:29])

Maintaining the Relationship

• LeeAnn: Talks about rekindling their relationship through planned date nights, emphasizing the importance of nurturing their bond ([40:00]).

  “Even though it’s with Bert, these date nights are really for me too. It’s about taking care of myself and our relationship.” ([40:00])

---

Supporting the Kids’ Independence ([55:52] - [65:17])

Encouraging Autonomy

• LeeAnn: Shares strategies for supporting their daughters' independence while ensuring their well-being during college transitions ([55:52]).

  “We allow our kids to establish their independence, giving them space while being there to support them when needed.”

Tailored Educational Paths

• LeeAnn: Discusses creating customized educational paths for each child based on their unique strengths and interests, such as supporting Isla’s interest in interior design without pushing for a traditional degree ([60:32]).

  “Isla wanted to intern with a friend’s interior design business, and we supported that without forcing her into a conventional path.” ([60:32])

Emphasizing Life Skills

• LeeAnn: Highlights the importance of life skills over formal education for some children, ensuring they are well-rounded and prepared for real-world challenges.

  “Teaching life skills and fostering independence is just as important as academic achievements.”

---

Self-Care and Personal Growth ([39:31] - [65:17])

Prioritizing Self-Care

• LeeAnn: Discusses her commitment to self-care through regular workouts and maintaining friendships, ensuring she remains balanced amidst family responsibilities ([39:31]).

  “I work out with a trainer three days a week, and it’s non-negotiable. Taking care of myself helps me take better care of my family.” ([39:31])

Rekindling the Marital Relationship

• LeeAnn: Explains how planned date nights with Bert have strengthened their relationship, providing mutual support and personal fulfillment ([40:00]).

  “These date nights are essential for maintaining our connection and ensuring we both feel valued and supported.”

Balancing Personal and Family Life

• LeeAnn: Shares the challenge of balancing personal passions with family obligations, emphasizing the need for time management and prioritization.

  “Finding time for personal growth while managing family life is exhausting but necessary for overall well-being.”

---

Notable Quotes

• LeeAnn ([06:34]): “Find whatever you can do in life that you genuinely love doing where you would do it if you didn't have a fucking dime.”
• LeeAnn ([24:56]): “Starting the Girl Scout troop gave me a purpose bigger than myself. It allowed me to connect with other families and create a support system.”
• LeeAnn ([34:29]): “He’s been walking around in a daze, unable to process the change, while I try to keep things moving forward.”
• LeeAnn ([39:31]): “I work out with a trainer three days a week, and it’s non-negotiable. Taking care of myself helps me take better care of my family.”
• LeeAnn ([40:00]): “These date nights are essential for maintaining our connection and ensuring we both feel valued and supported.”

---

Key Insights

1. Effective Co-Parenting: Sharing parenting responsibilities can mimic single parenting periods but requires strong communication and mutual understanding.
2. Community Support: Building a supportive community through activities like Girl Scouts can alleviate the pressures of single parenting.
3. Emotional Resilience: Navigating the empty nest phase demands emotional resilience and adaptive coping mechanisms for both partners.
4. Personal Fulfillment: Prioritizing self-care and personal growth is crucial for maintaining overall well-being amidst family obligations.
5. Encouraging Independence: Supporting children’s independence while providing a safety net fosters their growth and confidence in navigating the world.

---

Conclusion

In this episode, LeeAnn Kreischer offers a candid and inspiring look into the life of a single mother balancing family, personal passions, and a striving relationship. Through her stories, listeners gain valuable insights into co-parenting, community building, emotional resilience, and the importance of self-care. LeeAnn’s journey underscores the importance of finding joy and fulfillment in life's challenges, making this episode a profound and relatable listen for anyone navigating similar life paths.

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Listen to the full episode on RyanSickler.com and follow Ryan on all social media platforms for more inspiring stories and laughter.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

She's back. She's back.

[A]

Thank you for coming back, by the way.

[B]

I'm so happy to spend time with you, Ryan, talk to you.

[A]

You're a breath of fresh air. You really are.

[B]

Well, you are a lovely human. I just adore you.

[A]

That's very nice of you. And people have said to me, oh, Leanne Kreischer mentioned you on the podcast the other day. And I was like, that's so nice. You're genuine. You really are a good person.

[B]

Well, thank you.

[A]

And I went to your little Two Bears bar takeover. Yeah, bar takeover. At that little spot in la. And I right away was like, I Just got. I'm. I said, is Leanne Chrysler here and there? Yeah. I'm like, okay, that's what I'm gonna go find. So I figure these two are over here bartending and. What did the guy say? Some. Some old guy. What do you say? Some guy with white hair is asking for you or something? The security guy said to you. You're like, who the hell would that be?

[B]

Right? I was like, what? Who?

[A]

That could be anybody.

[B]

Oh, Ryan. Okay, gotcha.

[A]

Well, it's great to sit here with you again, but please promote everything and anything you'd like.

[B]

Just my podcast, Wife of the Party. You can find it wherever you find any podcast. I love my podcast.

[A]

Best name of any podcast out there. There's so many podcasts. Wife of the party is 100 money. Did you come up with that?

[B]

I did.

[A]

You did?

[B]

I did.

[A]

It's. It's great. How quick. Did you go through a bunch or did it just hit you?

[B]

I did go through a bunch. I don't even remember what they were. It's been like, three and a half, four years now. But this one came because Bert wrote one book, and it was called Life of the Party. And one day I went, oh, well, I'm the wife of the party.

[A]

Boom.

[B]

So it just was like, that's it. I don't remember what else. The other ones I came up with other ones, and they were like. Bert was, of course, was like, check and see if there's a website with that name. And everything I came up with already had something.

[A]

Me, too. Yeah, everybody's out there.

[B]

Yeah. Even Wife of the Party. But I did. But I was like, whatever. I'll just do it anyway. I love it.

[A]

Yeah. It's a great podcast.

[B]

Thank you. I have fun. I know. I was saying the other day, what if Bert wants to shut down his podcast? Would I shut mine down? And the answer is, no, I wouldn't, because I love it.

[A]

Well, that's the thing, you know, it doesn't matter. I say all the time, too. Like, people talk about money. Look, money doesn't give a shit about your addictions. Money doesn't give a shit about your problems. Money doesn't give a shit about your mental health. It doesn't give a fuck about anything. You got to find whatever you can do in life that you genuinely love doing where you would do it if you didn't have a fucking dime.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

That's what it is, you know, my passion for something. I wake up every day. I'd rather be happy making Less or nothing, then. And I've been at those jobs where it's affecting your health. You go home, you're annoyed, taking shit out on people because you're miserable at work or whatever.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And you're making money, but then you fucking find something you love and you're like, yeah, this is. This is it.

[B]

You're making money. But what's it cost you?

[A]

That's right. Everything.

[B]

What's it cost? Yeah. That's the truth. Unless you can frame what you're doing for a living to allow you to do what you love. Like you. Maybe you can't make money rock climbing, but you work all week so you can rock climb all weekend. Well, then you can frame that job in the right place.

[A]

Yeah. But you also might be a great instructor.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? There are ways to figure out what your passions are and combine them in a way. You know, not everyone's going to be a professional baseball player, but you might be the best coach. Very true.

[B]

You might make good jerseys.

[A]

Third base coach. Like a. Just sending them around. I could be a great third base coach in this shape.

[B]

Right, right. I was an excellent high school manager for. Baseball manager.

[A]

You did.

[B]

You did. I loved.

[A]

You managed. Yes. So you kept score.

[B]

I did.

[A]

You know, backward KS and all that stuff.

[B]

All right, I did. I kept score for, let's see, my junior senior year.

[A]

Could. If we put you into, like, we just took you to Dodger Stadium, Ton. Could you keep score? Could you? Kind of.

[B]

I could probably. Kind of. It might take me a minute.

[A]

But then you start getting singles, doubles, triples.

[B]

Oh, that. I can definitely. Yeah, I could do all that for sure. Um, I loved it. I thought. I loved baseball. I thought it was so fun, and I thought it was fun to travel with the team. Like we talked about before. I'm not a girl's girl. I'm a guy's girl. So being part of the baseball team, I didn't sign up to keep score for the softball team.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Was the baseball team. I loved it. I lined the field.

[A]

You did. You would take the. You were walking out there.

[B]

Yeah. You get out of class to do that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. All right.

[B]

So. Yeah.

[A]

Well, look, here's what. I definitely want to talk to you about a couple of things, because wife of the party, you're. We talked about it a little outside. You're basically a single mom. All these years raising these girls by yourself. No disrespect to Burp, but we're just talking factually here. You're alone doing this thing while he's out there doing, working. And then you finally get this moment where everyone's sort of together. Excuse me. And you can work together, do things together. And now the kids are in college and you're empty nesters, so you got this wild. So can we start first with just what was it like to be. Because this is all before anything. So what is it like to be juggling these two young girls with a schedule like that? And what are you also doing like for your, your love and passion then? Because podcasting isn't even a thing then.

[B]

So Bert started touring when Georgia was three days old.

[A]

So damn days, huh?

[B]

Yeah, before that he wasn't really a touring comic. He was still just trying to get a weekend here, a weekend there and really hustling. So when she was three days old. So I don't really know co parenting too much. In the beginning, we were really broke. I managed an apartment building so that we could. Because, you know, I was a writer, I wrote screenplays. And then when I. That's why I managed an apartment building so I could work and write all day when I had kids. It's perfect job. So free rent, health insurance and I could kind of make my own schedule a little bit. So it was perfect for having two small kids. That job kind of grew where my building bought a couple more buildings and I had to actually go to an office a little bit. So during that time my kids were like maybe two and four the three days a week Bert was home. He was full blown parent from the time I got out of the house until I came back. So I think that moment in time, it lasted for about two years. He was, we were really co parenting but not parenting at the same time. Right. We were trading off. Almost like divorced.

[A]

Like I'm in a 50. 50.

[B]

Exactly. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, he was dad, mom came home at 6 or 7 and then mom had a nanny for Thursday, Friday and then I did the weekend. And then when he got really, you know, things started moving and I could quit that job. It was all me, all the time. He was all the time. So then after that, I think what happened was we moved to the Valley and we moved.

[A]

Where were you during this time?

[B]

We were like Wilshire, La Brea area. So Hollywood, I guess. Where?

[A]

Mid Wilshire.

[B]

Yeah, mid Wilshire. Yeah. So we were there. Georgia went to first kindergarten, first grade over there. And then we bought the house when they were going into kindergarten in second grade and we bought a house in a really sweet public school. And I showed up in that neighborhood and I said to Bert, we will make friends here, and I will get involved in this school because that's going to be my social life.

[A]

Right? It has to be.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're alone.

[B]

Yeah, I was by myself. So that's what we did. I don't think he was really into that, but I volunteered in class. I became this committee, that committee. And that, to answer your question, is how I kept myself busy. We were lucky enough that I didn't have to work anymore after I'd managed apartment building. I did, like, keep his books and work with his accountant and answer his emails and do, like personal assistant type stuff for him even then. But for me, what I did for me was really jump into this community of families and create a family for my family.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

And we're still really good friends with a lot of those families from those years, so. But I did that consciously.

[A]

Can I ask you one question? It's making me think now, were there any once that you guys. They saw who you were eventually or became or did you. Have you lost any? Have any. Been like, we're going to distance ourselves from the crisis.

[B]

You mean because of who we are? Oh, mister, that happened right away.

[A]

I don't care if there's 100 that love you, there's gotta be two to know. Yeah.

[B]

Let me tell you right now, almost immediately, the first parent, like.

[A]

Yeah. What did you realize?

[B]

Oh, he wrote a joke about it. Okay. In his special, he wrote this joke about this raffle. That is a completely true story.

[A]

I know. That is. That is true.

[B]

It is 100 true. And what was happening. The cool thing about me and Bert, I don't know how I got so lucky to find the right, right, right person for me. And I actually don't know how I am that person. That's the right person for Burt.

[A]

For him.

[B]

Yeah. I don't really understand the magic entirely.

[A]

Once again, at that little event that I don't say anything to, but you came here and you went to the bathroom, and my dog, Princess came to the door and cried and you let her in and she went to the bathroom with you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And we laughed and whatever. And then Bert had come. Actually, Bert was here first, and she did the same thing and Bert let her in. And Kirsten and I laugh all the time. Like, of the hundreds of people we've had in this building, the Chrysler are the only people without even knowing you guys did that. That let her come into bathroom with her. You're definitely each other's People.

[B]

We are each other's people. And as much everybody knows that I'm his person, but I don't think people really know that he's mine. Right. He always says you could imag married anybody and you'd have been okay. But I don't actually think that's true.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because I get bored really fast. And so I think if I had. And I'm not good with, like, being cared for in a certain way. Like, I like. Of course Bert makes me cup coffee in the morning. He loves to make me breakfast. That's being cared for. I love that. But I don't need all that kind of, like, honey, I was thinking about you all day. I don't need any of that kind of schmoopy stuff. And he's definitely not that. So I don't know. I just. I. I found my person about the bathroom with the dog. We used. We had. When we moved into that little house for that school. We had one bathroom, four people, one bathroom. So I am not shy in the bathroom. You come in and out my bathroom. If this the bathroom, if the toilet was in the corner, I'd just go pee with you here. I just don't have any kind of modesty in the bathroom. And Bert was definitely not used to that because I'd just walk in, he'd be, you know, on the toilet, and he's like, whoa, whoa. And I'm like, hey, we're married. I've seen every part of your body. There's one bathroom. There's four people. I got shit to do. I'm going in the bathroom. So he started calling our bathroom the town hall. It's like a town hall meeting. So the dog in and out of the bathroom is just regular. That's just how it works in our house. But I don't remember what we were talking about before that. Ryan, what were we talking about before that?

[A]

We were talking about. Hold on. I do know what it was. It was talking about, oh, I had asked if you lost any of the community that. Because. Okay, yeah. People found out who you were and what you were about.

[B]

So this is how Burt and I work, right? We're at that wine raffle, and he's doing his shenanigans. A shirt off and screaming.

[A]

He's got the shirt off.

[B]

Shirt off. Screaming, Shirt around like this for the school. He's, like, hoarding all the prizes. There were 12 prizes. He won 11, and I won the 12th. I really. I bought one.

[A]

You legit won.

[B]

And he bought, like, I don't know their budget. It was a completely true story. So I won the last prize. And he's, of course, like, spiking the ball and like, fuck all, you betcha. And all this crazy stuff. What I'm doing is watching the room to see who's pissed and who's not. And the people we are still friends with, the Fromkins, the Grusins, the Hayslips, were laughing. The Turbos were laughing their asses off. And I went, that's where I'm going right there. We had one guy who I just coincidentally saw walking in the neighborhood the other day, and I thought, oh, there's that guy who demanded that we relinquish all our prizes and that each family only be allowed to win one prize. And I said to him, oh, buddy, that's not how a raffle works.

[A]

That's not how a raffle works.

[B]

That's not how it works. You can fuck off. And he went to the principal and got the principal involved, who came to me and said, you're gonna need to reel your husband in. And I went, you're talking to the wrong person. He is doing exactly what you're supposed to do at a raffle. He bought a bunch of tickets, and he won all the prizes.

[A]

And where's the money going?

[B]

It was going to the school. Yes.

[A]

Shut the fuck up.

[B]

It's a fundraiser. You dumbass.

[A]

Outbid them.

[B]

It's not a sale for you to get a TV for the cost of one raffle ticket to raise money.

[A]

But also, if you don't reel your husband in and jackass wants to outbid, then outbid and do it better for the school.

[B]

Bring it on. Yeah, but not everybody's from where we're from, right? Where they're like, no, no, no. This is a healthy, happy competition, and it should be about those raffle tickets, but whatever. So, yeah, that. That was the first event we went to as a couple, and I just started sussing them out. Yeah. Yeah, it was first grade. It was. No, it was kindergarten and second grade, and I was sussing them out already. I was like, who?

[A]

Who? Who, who?

[B]

Okay, those four couples. I'm cool. And we'll see who those four couples come up with.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

But, yeah, we definitely.

[A]

That's great. So back to being now basically a single mom involved in the school. And Bert's gone because. No longer the 5050 thing. Because he's gone a lot.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And what's that like for you?

[B]

Some of it was really good, and some of it was really hard. So the really Good stuff is Bert and I are always on the same page with, like, the base value. Not always on the same page with the method of parenting.

[A]

Fair enough.

[B]

To that base value. Right. He was always, like, a lot more lax with, like, bedtime or eat your vegetables where you have ice cream or. And to me, those kind of things dictate other things in your life. Right. If you. If you can do the things you don't want to do, then you can do the things you don't want to do. When you have a job where Bert doesn't have a job where he has to do things he doesn't want to do, so he doesn't see the usefulness in, like, a bedtime. So he was really disruptive to what I was trying to do, but agreed with the reason behind it. So what was good is that he would leave and so I could get them on track.

[A]

Well, this is what I'm sitting here thinking too. Like, look, if you're home and you're creating this schedule, my job is not to come in and fuck with that schedule, right? I'm gone. And you've created this pattern, these timings, these routines. And my job is to come in and uphold those fucking routines. Because Mom's holding it down at home, not coming, and be like, dad's home. Fuck bedtime tonight. We're not reading or whatever. So, yeah, I completely get that.

[B]

That would have been so nice, Ryan. For me, that would have been lovely.

[A]

That's what I would have done.

[B]

That would have been beautiful.

[A]

I love what structure you've set up here. What time they going to bed?

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

Now. All right, get your ass in bed today.

[B]

No, that was not what happened for me. He would come in and I had to adjust my thinking about my rigidity with it. Right. Some of my rigidity was legit, and some of it, because of our circumstances, needed to be a little more fluid. So if bedtime was like seven every night, sometimes they just would never see their dad. So if he had meetings in town, then they're going like a full week without dad, and that's not cool. And I'd have to. I had to wrap my head around his weekend is Monday, Tuesday or Tuesday, Wednesday.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

So when he wants to go to a friend's house and have a barbecue and stay out till 10 o'clock, that's his weekend. And he also deserves a weekend. Just like my kids deserve parameters to be put to bed so they're not exhausted. So I'd have to really kind of like, weigh what was going on on a week to week basis, if we're having a lot going on at school, emotional, educational, whatever, we just can't go party on a Monday night if school and everybody's set. CPK. Have a couple drinks, put them to bed at 9:30, you know, I just, it. But it was all managed by me, right. He wasn't going to come in and go, so tell me how's it going? Should we go or not? He'd just be like, come on mom, come on, let's go party. And I'd have to like constantly. I was, what was I called? I was called the governor.

[A]

You got the governor in town hall?

[B]

No, not that kind of governor. The governor on a motor.

[A]

Yeah, like a little go kart governor. So you can't go 100 miles an hour. Yeah, that's even better.

[B]

Yeah. I said, I feel like a governor. And Bert was like, what do you mean you're not in charge? And I went, no. A governor on a motor where you can only go so fast. And he's like, you're totally the governor. So that part of it kind of stunk. But I also, one of my blessings and curses is that I have a really good ability to look at the greater good. Right. And what is important to my kids. And they needed to have a good relationship with their dad. They needed to not feel like I was a bad guy every time he came home.

[A]

Yeah, Mom's the party pooper.

[B]

Yeah. And they needed a little bit of that flexibility. So I liked it. If he had been home all the time, it would have been anarchy, like total chaos. And I think, I really believe the reason our kids are so well balanced is because he left and then came back and he got the opportunity to do kind of what my dad did, which was my dad was a single dad. When I came in town, it was all about me and it was all fun. And then, you know, when I was not in town, he worked. So he did the same thing. Bert did the same thing. He would go work and then when he came in town, he was drop off pickup, softball practice, dance practice. He was really plugged in. But to be a single mom, it was exhausting. It was a lot of brain work. Like there was just a lot of not just figuring out the day to day semantics of your schedule, but like, what does everybody need? You know, what do you need in this moment? And I was the only one to give it most of the time to all three people I lived with to Bert too. So that was a lot of Work. So. So, yeah, when I look back on raising kids as predominantly as a single parent, I really look to the community of families that we raise our kids with. The fact that I started a Girl Scout troop really early, that gave me a purpose bigger than myself that I could handle, that I could manage, that I could take a week off from and not worry about, because I had two other or three sometimes other good troop leaders. And that gave me a lot of personal fulfillment when my kids were little because it was something we could do together, but it was also something I did for myself. So much like coaching a soccer team. It was kind of the same for me. No, I didn't. But I mean, like a parent who coaches a soccer team not just because they're kids on the team, but because they really enjoy doing that. That's the way I felt about Girl Scouts, and I felt like I had a bunch of skills that I could share. And one of my co leaders was also from Maine and a big outdoors person. So between the two of us, I.

[A]

See you out there showing these girls how to change tires and oil. We did.

[B]

I did. I did. I did do that.

[A]

A Girl Scout troop show.

[B]

No, I did do that. I taught him how to use a hatchet. I taught him how to sharpen a pocket knife. I taught him how to whittle.

[A]

Did you really?

[B]

I did.

[A]

I love it. This is how you make them all. Tall cocktail.

[B]

Exactly. No, but I should have thought of that one. That was a good one. No, I did. I taught him all that stuff that I grew up knowing. How you hook up. Here's how you hook up a car to a record. No, I didn't have a record available. I could have shown them that, too, though.

[A]

Girls got true. Hooking up a rollback.

[B]

That would have been great, but. Yeah, so, you know, your kids don't want to learn that shit from you. Yeah, but they'll learn it in the context of that group.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So. And for Isla, too, I identified really early, when she was, like, 4, that she didn't learn like everybody else. And by kindergarten, she was, like, last on the list of who had their letters. And I knew she was really bright. She's dyslexic. So is Bert. So is Bert's dad. So is my dad. So is Bert's sister. Wow. It's all.

[A]

And you. Not you, huh?

[B]

No, not me. So I was like, I think this is dyslexia. So in kindergarten, I thought to myself, what she needs is this peer group in the classroom, outside of the classroom where she can excel. And that's another reason I started the Girl Scout troop, because I was like, she will be. She was such a wild woman. She was like a climb and jump off stuff, climbing trees, not like the academic kids she was with. So I created this Girl Scout troop with like all her friends, but all her friends were like, super bright in school, bright kids. So that it would normalize life for her, you know, so that she could excel somewhere. Because there's no PE in school anymore. That's where you excel, Is that right? No, there's no P.E. she got P.E. one day a week. And then there's no art classes.

[A]

What?

[B]

There's no music classes. This is where her brain excels.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's athleticism and art and creativity. Creativity. So, yeah, you draw pictures in kindergarten, but it's all with the purpose of writing a sentence or whatever. And then at a certain age, in third grade, you're not doing any art anymore. Not really. And so I just needed to normalize life for her so that she felt just like everybody else somewhere. So Girl Scouts was that for me. So I put a lot of effort into it because I thought, I'm going to teach things she's going to be good at. But the collateral damage of that, so to speak, is that all these kids who would never get the opportunity to learn how to use a hatchet will get to learn how to use a hatchet. Like, that's something I will do. Just no brainer. Because we go back to Georgia every summer. And so that was a really important piece of being a single parent, was that I was able to give in that way to something that I really.

[A]

Believed in and still keep yourself.

[B]

Yes, that was mine. And also our school put on this huge fair for a fundraiser every year. And because of my kind of construction, building background, it's something that has to be built and torn down in, like, two days. Not joking. It's built in one day, then the fair, and then torn down. And so I weaseled myself in there and became the head of the build committee. So I was just in charge of building and tearing down, and I loved it. So that gave me that focus. And it was only, like in May, so it wasn't my whole year. I could still balance everything else. I think it's really important for single moms to find something like that they can throw themselves into.

[A]

Yeah. Real purpose.

[B]

A real purpose. And you know, as much as you, it's counterintuitive to do something with kids because you're the only person in charge of your kids. For me, it was the right thing because when you throw your kids in with a bunch of kids with a couple other adults, it's actually sort of less work than if it's just you and your two kids all the time and you're constantly coming up with what to do. You got two or three other adults going, hey, let's do this this week. And you just show up, you know. So for me, that was what really worked for me. Well, I also had another really good friend whose husband was a big movie producer and he was gone all the time. So she and I used to call each other wife. So would you know, I'm dropping, I'm dropping off this morning. You're picking up in the afternoon. I'm going to cook dinner on Thursday, you cook dinner on Wednesday. And we just kind of co parented for years.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

If there was a party, we were each other's date. It wasn't even discussed. It was just known like if we're. If she had a party, I was her date and the reverse was true. So I think that was a gift to me. If any other single parent can find another single parent that they feel comfortable doing something like that with. It made my life feel very full when Bert was gone. So I still talked to Bert all day and he was still very involved. It wasn't like he left and didn't call or didn't FaceTime or didn't whatever. He was very in it, but. But yeah, it's really hard to be by yourself and making all those decisions and it's exhausting.

[A]

And you've got two kids, two different children. So what works for this one doesn't necessarily work for this one. So now you're balancing two different things all still while trying to keep something that you love doing and a passion for yourself. And then you successfully do that all these years. Cuddly is a fundraising platform that supports animal welfare organizations all over the world. Over 4,000 shelters and rescues trust Cuddly to raise funds and receive donations of supplies for the animals in their care. Cuddly thoroughly vets and verifies every rescue organization they work with. So unlike with other fundraising platforms, you can be certain that your donation is actually going to an animal in need. In order to join the Cuddly platform, an organization must be a 501c3 nonprofit in good standing. All donations made through Cuddly are tax deductible, and it is incredibly easy to access your donation receipt to file with your taxes. Your donation history is clearly visible in your donor account. And Cuddly even puts them all into a single document for you. Now your dollar goes even further. For every $20 donated through a one time donation, cuddly will gift a soft and snuggly blanket to a rescue animal in need. Head to cuddly.com honeydew today to make a donation and help make a difference. That's cuddly.com Honeydew now let's get back to the do. And now your girls are grown up and they're both out of the house.

[B]

Officially now they're both in college.

[A]

I've been seeing the post of Burt crying, dropping. I laughed. I saw you outside because you were like. He's like, yeah. You're like, I'm fine. He's just like.

[B]

He was a mess. He is still such a mess that I actually.

[A]

Well, tell me about it. Because when he was here, you guys weren't there yet. You were just about to be. And he talked about the anxiety and we talked about that your kids are now going. And they're going different places. It's not, you know, it's not the same place where you can go, oh, let's go here. And they're both there, you know. So what, what is it like?

[B]

Well, I'll tell you one of the big differences between me and Bert. I face things both eyes forward, walking straight at it. He puts both hands over his eyes, turns backwards, and I drag him. That's how he goes to any kind of life change, like this. And I'm just like dragging him from behind toward whatever. So I've been kind of processing this for a while, since probably the spring of George's first year in college. So maybe 18 months or so, I started going, okay, this is coming. I see this coming. And he's been just like shuffling it off, shuffling it off. So I cried when we dropped Tyla off after, after we left her. I told him, I said, listen, with both kids, it's not their responsibility to take care of our emotional life. We don't need them thinking we're devastated and we can't move forward and we don't know what's happening because they went to college. They're doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing. This should be a celebration of the next phase of life. Doesn't mean that we don't get our feelings. It means that we don't put our feelings on them. So we'll have our feelings after we've pulled away for the last time. Cool with that. And he's like, I got it, I got it. So he did that for both girls. Last time for Georgia, I was driving. So the minute we got out of the driveway, he was like, just. It was so bad. Snot running. It was terrible in front of Isla. And I kept going. This is exactly what I was talking about. Now she's going to be terrified to go to college because her dad is going to need, like electroshock therapy to get you back to normal. What is happening? So he. Poor Isla is like, you know, shell shocked from this whole her sister moving. So this time he did a really good job. He kept it together. But he was driving to the airport. So I cried just a little bit. Maybe for like two or three minutes, I cried and I was cool. And I see him, he's gripping the steering wheel is just getting tighter and he's crunching lower. And I go, what's going on? He goes, I'm just so angry. And I said, why are you angry? He said, because I'm driving and I can't cry. I have to wait to stop driving to cry. And I was like, well, pull over and I'll drive and then you can cry.

[A]

No.

[B]

So we got. And we get in the plane and I just looked at him and he just felt totally apart. He was just totally apart. He in Georgia her last year of high school. That's not true. From probably 15 to 17, really struggled. So I think he and Ila have never had a bad moment in their whole life. They just have. They just get along great. Georgia and Bert are so similar that they just butted heads those two years. So I think Isla leaving was a little different. Like he knew what it was like from Georgia. And then he's. As much as he loves Georgia and he and Georgia are great now. They're super close now. In a lot of ways they're closer than he and Isla are. But he was like he lost his sidekick, right? It was a little different with Isla. So he's just morose. Like, we've been home, he's been walking around in a daze, like a full blown daze. And I'm over here going, hey, look at me, look at me. Rodeo clown, rodeo clown. And I can't snap him out of it. You know, usually I can rodeo clown him out of it and I can't do it. I mean, last night we were at work and I said, hey, let's not go home. Let's go to Target and start buying like care packs for the girls and their friends. Because I did that George's first year of college.

[A]

That's nice.

[B]

You know, her closest, the kids that, like, were at our house four or five days a week. I sent them all care packages until December, on and off, and I said, let's go do that. He filled up two shopping carts full of stuff for these kids. And I was like, hey, dude, they're in a dorm.

[A]

Like, they can't.

[B]

They can't have that. I mean, I. I don't remember what he was going to get him something like a lantern or something. I was like, where are they going to put that in a dorm? Some of them are in one room. You can't do that. But so. And then even that, he was, like, joylessly walking through. I've never seen him like this. I know he'll be fine, but he's having a really hard time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It breaks my heart because he's such a jolly guy, you know? And I think, too, for him, for me, I have no regrets. The only regret I have is that I didn't take someone's advice who said to me, do yourself a favor. Before you go to bed every night, write down, like, three sentences of what happened that day because you think you're going to remember it, because in the moment is so spectacular, but you won't, so just do that. And I didn't. That's my only regret. I wish I really, in my soul, regret not doing that because I know there's so many moments I don't remember.

[A]

So many things they said, yeah, I've got the first, like, five years. And I stopped. Yeah, I've got it in my phone on a notepad. Like, my daughter was like three one time. And she goes. She said something, and I said, mkay. And she goes, dad, why do you say mkay? It's okay. And then she goes, mkay is trash. I still read that one, too.

[B]

Okay. Is trash.

[A]

Trash.

[B]

I have one like that, too.

[A]

I was like, God damn.

[B]

K is trash. I call her.

[A]

She also was naked one time. I mean, little. She's like two. And she goes, dad, can I sit on the couch like this? I go, no, go put some underarm. She goes, I'll hold my pee in my vagina.

[B]

They're so funny, aren't they?

[A]

Go put some underwear on. You're not sitting naked out here on the couch. Like lady.

[B]

Kindergarten. Isa's kindergarten teacher gave them all Native American names for Thanksgiving. So Isla was White bear. So we were walking to grocery store, and I said, isla, what name would you give Georgia? What would her Native American name be. And she did not miss a beat. She goes, vagina mouth, vagina. She was fine. Vagina mouth. Why would you call her vagina mouth? She's like, I don't know, it just kind of sounds good. I was like, so I know for that one or two I remember there's like a hundreds, thousands I don't remember. So that's my only regret. But I think Bert looks back and feels like he just missed everything. Well, he didn't miss everything, but he missed a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know, as much as we would try to say, hey, if your dad's a banker, he gets home 7:00.

[A]

Every day, we're all going to miss a lot. If you're a parent, a good parent, a working parent, whether you're a single parent or you're married, you're going to miss shit. You just are. It's part of being a parent. You're just going to miss stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Here's my question for you, though. You take care of the girls. You're worried about Bert now. You know he's going to be fine. All this is going on, but how are you taking. Taking care of you? What are you doing for you right now and where are you getting the time if you're so worried about care packages and Bert and everything, where's Leanne?

[B]

Well, I started some of that before in that I work out with a trainer three days a week and it's non negotiable. I just don't.

[A]

This ain't gonna be a Tom Brady situation here, is it, Leah?

[B]

No. Although my trainer is gorgeous, but. No, he's like my brother. He's so crazy. He is. He is in la. Know him in la. He is from the neighboring hometown of my hometown.

[A]

No way.

[B]

Swear.

[A]

And that's such a small hometown.

[B]

Swear. It's crazy when I.

[A]

You guys. Absolutely. And do you have any seven, what is it? Seven degrees of separation or whatever?

[B]

We don't. He's African American and his.

[A]

Oh yeah. Down there.

[B]

So there's no. No, I'm just obviously kidding. His family, he actually lived in New Orleans and his aunt and uncle lived in my neighboring hometown. He spent the whole summer there. Every summer.

[A]

No way.

[B]

So he was not exactly from there, but all his.

[A]

But when you said it, he was like, holy shit. I know.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Not only do I know where that.

[B]

Is, I know who you are.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I know who he is. And there's definitely no Tom Brady situation. He's a lovely guy, but I swear to God, he's like my brother. He'd be like my cousin. Because we just know. Like today we were working out today, and he comes out with a red apple and starts slicing it with a knife. And, you know, slice and eat with a knife. That's how you eat apple in the South. And my workout partner, Sandy's from Boston, and she's Chinese. And she's like, what are you doing that night? He's like, I'm just eating an apple. And I go, let me show you.

[A]

How to sharpen that.

[B]

I'll show you how to sharpen it. Right? That's right. But I said, no, that's just how we eat an apple where we're from, you know? And she's like, oh, okay. I've never seen a person eat an apple like that.

[A]

You know what else you guys do from where you're from that I've seen with a knife plenty of times is I've watched men, just men clean out their fingernails. Not just clean them, but cut them, too. Take a buck knife and just.

[B]

You shave them lightly on the end. Yeah, my grandpa did that. My dad does that. Yeah. Very common. Nobody goes anywhere without a pocket knife. I usually have a pocket knife in my purse. And then I kept losing them at the airport. I kept forgetting I had them. And then they throw them out, so I stopped carrying them there. But anyway. But so, yeah, I think Bert not negotiable.

[A]

Sorry. You're trainer three times.

[B]

Because I just don't. I just wasn't taking care of myself physically. And once you get our age or I'm older than you, I think you gotta start doing that.

[A]

You have to. You want my whole goal. I tell my trainer, too, like, I had abs when I was supposed to have abs. I ain't trying to get abs.

[B]

No.

[A]

But I do want Father time to have a harder time breaking this body down.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, let me see what I can get out of this thing.

[B]

Yeah, I want to get up if I fall off the toilet or something. Yeah. That's what I want, is to be able to get up. So I do that. And I have a great group of girlfriends. We travel. I was just talking to her today. We were talking about doing, like, a bike tour around Switzerland sometime in October. So I do a little bit of that, which is pretty extravagant. Other than that, I need to figure it out a little bit. I mean, Bert and I started kind of dating each other again.

[A]

That's cute.

[B]

About a year and a half ago, a good one of my girlfriends just Just casually said to me one day, she was like, you know, I don't know how we even got on the subject, but she said, as soon as we had our first daughter, my husband and I decided we'd never stop dating each other. Which is different than a date night, you know, it's very different. So when I heard that, I went, huh. I definitely don't date Bert anymore, and he definitely doesn't date me. We're just like. We go out on date nights, but it's like, hey, you want to go to the taco place? Yeah. Okay. And I'm wearing a hoodie, and he's wearing a hoodie, and that's a date night night. So I started going, no, we need to, like, plan something. Go to a concert, have, you know, check into a hotel room. Just because, you know, that kind of stuff just right off the cuff. And so we started doing that a little over a year ago. And that's been awesome. So that's something I do for myself. Even though it's with Bert, it's really for me too. But I would like to focus a little more on some of my creative stuff. I want to do that I couldn't do, you know? Still carpooling. Isla still didn't have a driver's license. License. And her high school was 30 minutes from our house, so I was still driving her to and from school, spending two hours a day in the car just to get her to and from high school until June. So I think I'm still trying to figure that out.

[A]

Did your. You said I was Illustra. So did Georgia get a license at 16, like, immediately? See, that was me, too.

[B]

Like, same.

[A]

I. I just feel like this generation is a little different because my steps. No, he was 16, but my babysitter, she didn't get one until she was probably, like, 19. Like, they didn't that generation. At least the kids I've dealt with don't feel like they're in a hurry to get that 16 year old and get the hell out of there.

[B]

Do you know what I just saw that I found crazy and alarming and like, whoa. There are now nightclubs that close at 10. They open at 5 and close at 10. And it's not for our age. It's for the young kids who need to get their sleep.

[A]

Need to get their sleep. What the are you talking.

[B]

That's what I said. I was like, what?

[A]

You're not supposed to get your sleep now.

[B]

This is when you can run hard and put up wet. Come on. You gotta go go go.

[A]

That's be a 5am to 10am Club is what the after hours. Yeah right.

[B]

I'm thinking what I mean when I lived in New York City, I didn't come home until like 3:00am yeah, easy. That's what you did.

[A]

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[B]

Are you working out and listening to.

[A]

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[B]

So yeah, I think there's something about this generation that's really into self care and really into not pushing past their comfort zone. And I think that's a real bummer.

[A]

I also imagine these days you're not getting like my first car, I spent 500, you know, had a hole in the oil filter and it spit right into the damn vents and make it dizzy as till we got it fixed. But it was 500 bucks. These days cars are so expensive. Insurance is wildly expensive for a 16 year old to get into it. And texting out there, like I, I say this all the time, I know I sound like an old fart, but because of the texting and the way that people aren't paying attention out there, I think they should bump the driver's license up to 18. It would, it would a lot of kids though, because I know. Well, I also knew back in my day too. I mean, I'm 51, so we had driver's ed in high school. It was a class. Yeah, they didn't have that, not that many years after. And they said the statistics were that drop, the dropout rate would, would increase right after the kid would get their license. And then out of high school and they saw a drop off as soon as they got that license. But we had the simulators in class and that's where we did it. We also drove for our hours, but we drove with the driver's ed teacher from school. Not a paid extra thing or anything like that, right?

[B]

No, we didn't have driver's ed.

[A]

You didn't?

[B]

No. My hometown, everybody had been driving forever. I mean it was all farm. So I'd been driving since I was probably like not joking, like 11 or so.

[A]

So sort of teach yourself pass.

[B]

Parents would teach me, my dad t me how to drive. But once I was 15, he taught me how to drive like on the road, you know, with road rules and stuff like that. I just, just driving in a pasture or driving from one pasture to the other, crossing the street, that was people. Everybody I knew had done something like that. But kids, kids in la, they don't have an opportunity to do anything like that. There's no like four wheeler even or anything like that they could make a mistake on that wouldn't hurt somebody else or damage some property. And I think they're just, I don't know. Not to get too political, but this everybody gets a trophy thing has not been the greatest thing for kids to be resilient, right to lose and know that losing is part of life. Well, a car accident is a lose. And failing your driver's ed test a couple times is a lose. And instead of going, no, no, no, I'm going to get up, I'll dust myself off and do it again, they just give Up. Or at least a lot of kids I know do. I can't speak for every kid.

[A]

Everyone gets a trophy thing too. Is it. It. What it doesn't do is it doesn't allow us or anyone to learn how to be a good loser.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

You learn so much more from losing than you'll ever do from winning.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You learn way more from all the mistakes and the losing than the winning. And if you don't learn, that's what I tell my daughter. So with my daughter, like she's now in gymnastics and she's now in cheer and we were doing soccer and she said to me in the car the other day, she goes, did mom tell you that we're not doing soccer? That's how it started. I go, no. I go, we're not doing soccer. Cuz soccer was my thing, you know, I love soccer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she loved it. She was really good at it. And she's like, yeah, we're. It's like. Cuz the things, they're. They like it's on the same night, so we can't do it. There's no cross. It's all crossover. And I go, okay. And she's like, you're not mad? And I go, no. And she goes, mom. Mom thought we were going to have to have a family meeting. And I started laughing. I was like, we've never had a family meeting. I go, listen to me, here's the deal. I love soccer, but you don't need to love soccer. She goes, but I really do like it. I go, well, it's too much right now and I get it. So if right now all I care about is this, I want, I do want you to play team sports because I want you to understand what it's like to be a good teammate. I want you to understand what it's like to be a good loser. But I do also want you to know that some coaches suck. Some of them do. I want you to know that there are people that are bad at their jobs. And then when you get on a team, you're like, that coach was good compared to this person. This lady knew what she was doing. This guy didn't know shit. You know, I want you to know good teammates, bad teammates, that you aren't going to be able to depend on some people and stuff. But the other thing is, I want you to love what you're doing and I want you to take it seriously. And the minute those things don't happen, then we're out. And I go, honestly, soccer. We go gymnastics Once a week, cheer twice a week. If we had soccer, that's another practice night and then a game night. I was like, you're running five days a week. You're in fourth grade. Excuse me. You don't need to be doing all that. And I want you to find what you love doing. And whatever that is, I'm going to support the hell out of it 100%. So do not ever worry about me and my feelings for what you do. I got you. And she was like, oh, thank you, thank you.

[B]

And I was like, yeah, good job, Ryan. That was a good job.

[A]

That's what. You know what I mean? Like, this is my life. It's your life. And it's what your goes to. What you're saying too. Like I want you to not have to worry about taking care of my. Don't parent my fucking feelings exactly. Like soccer. Fuck that shit. Go over there and cheer and I'm going to fucking cheer too. You know, I don't care.

[B]

Yeah, that's. I agree. It should be your life and what you choose. Bert and I talk about this a lot too. Is that sometimes when he gets frustrated, when our kids have their own feelings, so to speak, have their own agenda that's not in line with his. Is he says things that does make me wonder alike. All I did was wonder about my dad's feelings. And that's half of reason. I am the person I am today. And I go, huh, that's an interesting perspective.

[A]

He says that?

[B]

Yeah, Bert does.

[A]

I never wondered about my parents feelings. I don't. Well, I didn't have them that long.

[B]

But still, feelings is a strong word. What he would think, what he would say. Was he proud of me?

[A]

I got you?

[B]

Or like, my dad would never let me quit soccer. I'll just keep going. You know, that kind of like it's dad, you know, because I say so. Parenting. Not.

[A]

But it's also a bigger. It's a microcosm for this too. Like we can have. Have conversations that you think are going to be uncomfortable and I'm going to surprise you by letting you know like it ain't a big deal at all.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, so it's not just about soccer now. Like later, if you want to come talk to me about a boy or whatever it is. I'm not gonna. I want you to know that I'm not gonna overreact or blow up every time you want to bring something to me that you think is serious. And this time it was just soccer, right? Who gives a. I Think that's the.

[B]

Way to do it. It was awesome.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah. That was really great. So, something else I was thinking about with Empty nesting with Bert while you were talking is that I am a bit concerned because he's called my name maybe 5,000 times a day, every day since we got home.

[A]

Is that right? And that's definitely not before new. Really? So, like, to do what? Everything.

[B]

Just, like, he needs to know where I am all the time. Where are not.

[A]

Where's the bread?

[B]

Where's.

[A]

He just wants it physically.

[B]

Where are you, Leanne? Where are you? Hey, Leanne.

[A]

Oh, no, you ain't getting us.

[B]

This morning, I went to the front yard to measure part of the yard, and he comes outside so angry, and I'm like, what's. What's up? I thought he'd, like, broken something or something. He was like, I've been looking for you, and I. I couldn't find you anywhere. And I was like, I've been gone for maybe two minutes to just measure something in my front yard. So I am a little concerned about that going forward because I can't. I can't. I will die of suffocation. I got to figure out how to manage that with Bird.

[A]

Yeah. You know, but that's a new thing, too, so.

[B]

Well, sort of new.

[A]

Sort of new.

[B]

I mean, he's kind of always been that way.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

But I had kids that I had an excuse to go, oh, no, no, I'm helping with homework. I'll be right there. You know what I mean? So it's not all. It's not the Bert show all the time. And I think that's something I probably should start paying real close attention to, is how much time I give him. Because all of a sudden, one day I'm going to be like, ra. I've had enough.

[A]

Now, let me ask you this. If it's all right to talk about the kids for a second, how are they doing? Are they loving it? And if they weren't, what if they were missing things right now? Would it be harder? Would Bert be like, yeah, get your ass back here where you're like, listen, you need to go establish some independence and do your thing?

[B]

No, we would not let them come home. No, no. I mean, Georgia, maybe she's a junior, so if she were like, I'm done, then that would be a conversation. But Isla's been gone for a week, so, no, there's no. He and I talked about it because she's not an academically driven Kid, she's at an art school, which is great. But I was like, what if in two weeks she calls and says, I want to come home? She's the one that would do that. What do we do? Let's be aligned before that happens. And we were like, well, you have to at least make it through winter quarter, and then we can discuss what happened. I like that you got at least make it through that quarter. So, yeah, I don't think we would let either one of them come home. And, you know, Georgia has talked about she's studying journalism, but when she was home for the summer, she said, I really actually am curious about, like, being a chef. Okay, totally fine. Does that mean you want to pivot out of college? She said, no, no, no. I want to get my degree. But after I get my degree, I might want to work in restaurants for a little bit and see if that's something I want to do. And she said, I'm going to get a restaurant job while I'm in college, but obviously my focus should be college. So that might be. Just want you to know I'm thinking that way. And we were like, we would totally pay for you to go to culinary school if you go through college. And you're like, this is not for me. But this is, of course.

[A]

Well, so many people go to college and get a degree and then don't work in anything close to the degree they got.

[B]

No.

[A]

And also, you go through school. I don't know when I first. So I have a bachelor of science. What? In mass communications.

[B]

Well, this is mass communication.

[A]

It is. Mine worked out, but I started when I first went to school. I did community college. And my focus at the time, I thought I wanted to do physical therapy because I had gotten injured and I was treated and I was like, wow, I really like the science of the body. I like to see. It's like I literally feel the improvement. This is kind of cool. Went through human anatomy and physiology, and I was like, man, this. But I had so much of the science already in my AA that when I transferred to my other schools, it carried over. And then I ended up. I thought I would do psychology for a second. It was psychology pt. And then I went, no, that we're doing TV and radio and communications. So I ended up, yes, it worked out for me. Me. But I didn't find that until, like, my last year of school, really, my last, like, where she is just maybe a little beyond that. I'm like, Jesus. So also, I think about college, too. Like, my daughter's mother said, you know, we should start a college fund. And I was like, you know, can I get a little bit of money before I started college? Like, I'd like to be able to do something when I'm older.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And plus, I don't know as a person who went to college and graduated with a degree, unless her job requires college, a doctor, a lawyer, whatever it is, you know, I'm all for it. If it doesn't, then I would prefer, even if I could go back, I think I would take classes and try to make myself a little more. Let me take a business course. Let me take a this course, a that course and just collect some knowledge instead of this fucking piece of paper. That may mean nothing in the end anyway way. So I don't know how it's going to go. Plus I got another 10 years and who knows what college is going to be like then.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

I mean, a lot of it's online now anyway, but it's interesting. I'm not sure what. So I'm saying I'm with you on supporting that because you're also so young at that point. Like, I think community college is a great thing. Just to find out if you even like that sort of institution and education. Because I was never the kid that. And even still creatively when I would work these jobs, they would like go in that room over there and from these hours, sit there and be as creative as you can with this shit we're giving you and give us a plus stuff. And I'm like, I need to take walks.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

I need to get outside and breathe a little bit, talk to the person about things. But I can't just sit in a room and be like, do this, do this, do this. It just doesn't work that it's not how they get the best out of me.

[B]

Yeah, I feel the same way. I don't care if my kids. We never cared if our kids went to college. College don't care at all. Isla wants to be an interior designer. You don't need a degree for that.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

And I have a good friend.

[A]

You. Hi. For that.

[B]

Yeah. And she has it. And I have a great friend who's an interior. She's a kitchen and bath designer. Really high end. And she was like, just let her intern for me. And I offered that to Isla. And Ila wanted the college experience, not the academic piece.

[A]

That's fine too then. That's a different thing.

[B]

She wanted to live on her own.

[A]

See what other people are like, oh my God, this lady's a slobber. Oh, my God. My best friend for life. Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You learn about yourself.

[B]

So then she. That's what she wanted. And that is as important as what you learn in college is those life skills that you. And how to live with somebody else. You don't know how to assert yourself in ways you didn't have to in high school, how to function outside of your family of origin. Those things to me are just as important as your degree for some kids. Kids. And some kids don't need it. But I think Isla really needed that. I think she. That kid is a path of least resistance. Mfer. And if I would do it for her, that'd be just fine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I would end up not doing things for her, and then things just wouldn't get done. And so she needed to be. I think she knew instinctively she needed to be in a place where the buck stopped entirely with her. Her. And so far it's only week one, but so far she's been doing a great job. So, yeah, college for her, I don't think really is about interior design, even though she's going to learn and she's going to enjoy. If she called me and said, you know, I want to just change my major to drawing, if even if that is a major, I would say, whatever, do it. Because for her, it's just about living life that way. Georgia really wanted to go to school to learn. She really did. She wanted to go to school as an English major, as a journalism major. She's kind of been round and round with it. Now she's really gotten hardcore into Spanish and wants to, like, minor in Spanish and wants to study abroad, and she really has that kind of academic draw. But, yeah, I think college is great. If. But if it's not, it's not a big deal. I didn't graduate from college.

[A]

You went a little. Did you take classes?

[B]

I went for four years. I took.

[A]

Why didn't you graduate? You went all the four years?

[B]

I changed my major in the middle drastically. I was a psych major and then I changed schools. And when I changed schools, the psychology department was super clinical and I didn't like it. So I changed a finance, which is so similar to psychology. I stood to finance because I was like, well, that's easy for me. I'm just going to bang it out of school, not realizing I needed an additional year because they were so different.

[A]

Can you go back and online now and just get that degree?

[B]

I could.

[A]

You should do it.

[B]

I'm not Interested? I don't need it. Well, to do exactly what you said. Hang a piece of paper on my wall.

[A]

It is. It's the piece of paper.

[B]

I know. Bert was like, we should get you an honorary degree because you've accomplished so much as a business person.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

You should have a business degree.

[A]

Yeah. You far surpassed getting a finance degree.

[B]

So I don't know. If a college wants to give me one, fine. But I'm not going to go knocking on a door, hey, can I have a degree?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not gonna do that.

[A]

You're the best. Thank you for doing this. And you're gonna come back, I hope, and give us updates later on what it's like, just so I can have a. A vision of my future.

[B]

Yes, I will. I will give you one piece of advice now.

[A]

Yeah, please.

[B]

This is what they told me at University of. This is what they told me at Georgia's college. They had a big parent orientation. It was absolutely true. The first year, they leave, they don't call you, they don't text you, they don't want to come home. And that's healthy. So let them do it. The second year, they come back. That was 100% true.

[A]

Is that right?

[B]

100%. And I'm glad they said that out loud at college. I say that for you, but also, anybody listening, that's a first year college student. I could not get Georgia on the phone. I couldn't get her to text me. I couldn't get her at all. Second year she was back and she's been back. So that first year, I think they just really want their autonomy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that. That's a normal process. So that's great. Keep that in your noodle for when she goes. Yeah.

[A]

Promote your podcast again, please.

[B]

Wife the party. Wife OTP.com is my website. You can find Wife the Party anywhere you find podcasts or on YouTube.

[A]

Thank you again a million times. Thank you as always. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Ryan sickler.com come catch a live show. See me on tour. All tickets are on my website@ryan sickler.com we'll talk to you all next week. Now at T Mobile, get four 5G phones on us and four lines for $25 a line per month. Month. When you switch with eligible trade ins, all on America's largest 5G network. Minimum of 4 lines for $25 per line per month with autopay discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without autopay plus taxes and fees and $10 device connection charge phones via 24 monthly bill credits for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on a required finance agreement. Due bill credits end if you pay off devices early. CT mobile.com you are no dummy, but you're kind of acting like one. You used to crush it and switch outsmarting opponents on the field, and now, well, you're still smart, but not exactly challenging yourself. You could be advancing nuclear engineering in the world's most powerful Navy. You were born for it. So make the smart choice. You can be smart, or you can be nuke smart. Become a nuclear [e-mail] nukesmart America's Navy forged by the sea.