Creators’ Circle 4 was built for people who refuse to shrink their voices, and this past Wednesday, VaynerMedia invited me to speak about identity, reinvention, and what happens when you stop hiding.

In my talk, I walked through the real chapters of my life. I shared how my first experience of shame at ten made me build a mask, like learning early that the world can be cruel and that I had no emotional language at home to handle it.

I explained how that mask hardened in secondary school, where I chased toughness, picked fights, got arrested twice, and tried to play a version of masculinity that never belonged to me. The turning point came in lockup, where I saw the life waiting for me if I didn’t change.

I talked about leaving that path, going to ITE, and starting again with people who didn’t need me to perform. I shared how storytelling became my anchor, how I fought my way into journalism without a degree, got laid off, and learned that rebuilding teaches clarity, success never does.

I opened up about becoming a parent to a neurodiverse daughter who is still non-verbal, and how that pushed me to stop hiding my identity because I can’t ask her to live as her whole self if I refuse to do the same. That is why I came out publicly on LinkedIn. The response showed me how hungry people are for honesty.

I explained how my friend Kelly, who works at VaynerMedia, gave me Gary Vaynerchuk’s Day Trading Attention when I was unemployed, and how that book helped me treat my own life as a story worth telling. That led to my newsletter, my podcast, and the work I do with founders and creators today.

I closed by sharing a full-circle moment: a friend from my most destructive teenage years stood up during one of my talks to confirm everything I had shared. I grounded the room in the daily reality of being gender-fluid in Singapore, like dealing with stares and awkward bathrooms and still choosing this life because the alternative would have kept me silent or sent me to prison.

See you next Sunday.

Human Algorithm is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit humanalgorithm.substack.com/subscribe

These 30 minutes will change your relationship with shame