Podcast Summary

The Human Upgrade: Biohacking for Longevity & Performance

Episode: Why Gen Z Can’t Handle the Real World (and How We Can Help Them)
Host: Dave Asprey
Guest: Jennifer Cohen
Date: April 3, 2025
Episode Number: 1266

Overview

This episode tackles the rising fragility among Gen Z—which Jennifer Cohen and Dave Asprey argue stems from overprotective, "snowplow" parenting and the broader cultural shift towards eradicating discomfort and risk from childhood. Together, they unpack how modern parenting, technology, and changing societal norms are leading to a generation less resilient and more prone to anxiety, and they offer actionable ways for parents (and anyone influencing young people) to help develop true mental toughness and competence.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Problem: Modern Parenting & Its Consequences

• Snowplow Parenting:
  Jennifer Cohen highlights that parents now remove every obstacle and challenge, depriving kids of opportunities to develop coping skills.

  "We are basically snowplowing, plowing, and taking away all of the challenges and the struggle from our kids, and we're not even allowing them the ability to learn how to fail." (B, 01:34)

• Consequences:
  • Anxiety, lack of resilience, and inability to handle setbacks are on the rise.
  • The pressure to shield kids from discomfort actually creates fragility.
  • Example cited: 27% of kids have their parents accompany them to job interviews. (B, 00:05, 10:38)

2. Discomfort Is Necessary for Growth

• Experiencing Failure:
  Children need to fail, recover, and learn—it's fundamental for resilience.

  "The more people fail...the only real way to learn how to be resilient is to fail over and over again." (B, 05:06)

• Safe Spaces Debate:
  Dave expresses frustration that coddling creates unrealistic expectations of perpetual comfort.

  "Safe spaces make me angry...If we teach our kids they have to have a safe space to take a risk, it's not a risk anymore." (A, 05:59)

3. The Role of Technology & Culture

• Technology as a Root Cause:
  Smartphone and social media use have drastically reduced kids’ independence and reduced in-person socialization.

  "What we used to do by people who were born after 1993 no longer had the same type of culture that we grew up in." (B, 06:27)

• Parental Overprotection:
  • Physical world: Overprotective.
  • Online world: Underprotected, neglecting real threats (e.g., predatory behavior).

4. Practical Parenting Strategies

• Boundaries & Guidelines:
  Cohen emphasizes that parents must provide boundaries, not constant friendship or sheltering.
• Team Sports & Chores:
  Encourage socialization, learning to lose, and responsibility.
• Screen Restrictions:
  • Give kids flip phones rather than smartphones (B, 14:48–16:07).
  • Enlist collective parental action to delay social media, even if unpopular.
• Chores Build Success:
  Harvard study: Chores teach responsibility and boost future success.

  "The kids who had the chores were abundantly more successful in every walk of life." (B, 24:11, 26:44)

5. The Importance of Adversity and Boredom

• Engineering Adversity:
  Dave discusses intentionally creating appropriate adversity for his kids—including household chores and a gratitude-plus-failure practice.

  "I praise the failure to the end...That's impressive. And they got way more than from that than they did from gratitude." (A, 29:53)

• Boredom Breeds Creativity:
  Over-scheduling and device distraction stifles imagination.

  "I think it's really important because...that's where creativity lies and lives." (B, 31:38)

6. Building Boldness and Comfort with Failure

• Rejection Therapy (and Boldness):
  Daily quest for rejection helps dissolve fear of failure.

  "Rejection is always better than regret. So it's always better to be rejected from something than to regret that you never did it." (B, 42:53)

  • Jennifer’s personal story: missing the chance to ask Mark Wahlberg on her show as an example of regretting inaction. (B, 44:02–46:01)

7. Praise, Self-Esteem, and Life Skills

• Praise Effort, Not Intelligence:

  "Studies show that if you praise kids for being smart, they stop taking risks because then they'll look dumb. But if you praise them for working hard..." (A, 47:14)

• Competence Breeds Confidence:
  Kids need to do things independently to internalize achievement and develop real self-esteem.

8. Modeling Behavior as a Parent

• Leading by Example:
  • Kids emulate parental habits—diet, exercise, device use.
  • Allowing children to experience and interpret consequences fosters autonomy and choice.

  "If you want your kid to be fit and active and take care of themselves, you should be fit, active, take care of themselves." (B, 33:01)

• Avoiding Over-Force:
  Forcing practices (e.g., mouth taping for sleep) is less effective than role modeling. (A, 37:05–37:19)

9. The Social Dimension: Looks, Intelligence, and Gender

• Attractiveness and Self-Worth:
  Jennifer discusses how being praised for looks alone can undermine substance and confidence, causing insecurity.
• Masculinity, Femininity, and Relationships:
  Women’s success and confidence sometimes intimidate men, affecting dating dynamics. (B, 52:57)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "We are RA the weakest generation in history. Kids today have fewer coping skills than ever. They avoid discomfort. They collapse under pressure. And it's not their fault. It's ours."
  — Dave Asprey (A, 00:50)
• "The more people fail...the only real way to learn how to be resilient is to fail over and over again. Pick yourself back up and do it again."
  — Jennifer Cohen (B, 05:06)
• "We are basically snowplowing, plowing, and taking away all of the challenges and the struggle from our kids, and we're not even allowing them the ability to learn how to fail."
  — Jennifer Cohen (B, 01:34)
• "If you praise kids for being smart, they stop taking risks because then they'll look dumb. But if you praise them for working hard..."
  — Dave Asprey (A, 47:14)
• "Competence is what breeds confidence. And if you don’t feel competent in doing something, you’ll never feel confident and therefore have a lower self-esteem."
  — Jennifer Cohen (B, 54:09)
• "If you’re not comfortable with your kids being uncomfortable, you’re the problem."
  — Dave Asprey (A, 55:14)

Important Timestamps

• 00:05 — Kids taking parents to job interviews; alarming statistics of over-parenting.
• 01:34 — "Snowplow" parenting; failure to teach coping skills and resilience.
• 05:06 — Why failure and discomfort are critical for mental strength.
• 06:27–08:44 — Technology’s impact on childhood independence and adventure.
• 14:48–16:07 — Setting boundaries with technology; resisting peer (and parental) pressure.
• 17:30–20:28 — Problems with team sports and participation trophies in removing real competition and failure.
• 24:11–26:44 — The importance of chores; Harvard study on long-term positive outcomes.
• 29:53 — Incorporating daily gratitude and failure recognition for kids.
• 31:38 — Value of boredom and unstructured time.
• 41:10–44:02 — Rejection therapy, boldness, overcoming fear of failure.
• 47:14–48:40 — The effects of praising intelligence versus effort; MIT example.
• 54:09 — Instilling self-esteem through competence.

Actionable Takeaways

• Let kids fail and work through real-life challenges; don’t remove every obstacle.
• Model resilience, healthy habits, and sense of adventure for your children.
• Set boundaries around technology, even if unpopular.
• Encourage chores and team activities with real consequences—winning and losing matter.
• Praise effort and persistence instead of innate characteristics like intelligence or beauty.
• Create opportunities for boredom to spark creativity.
• Teach boldness and refusal to fear rejection; focus on trying rather than regretting.
• If you’re not a parent, these are still your future colleagues or employees—invest in their resilience.

Memorable Moments

• Dave’s kids responding to McDonald's:
  "Daddy, you can take us to McDonald's, but you can't make us eat. We know what our tummies feel like if we eat that way, and we don't want to." (A, 34:28)
• Jennifer’s story about missing the chance to invite Mark Wahlberg on her show—an example of regretting inaction (B, 45:35–46:01).
• The 27% statistic of kids bringing parents to job interviews, evidencing a loss of independence and risk-taking. (B, 00:05, 10:38)

Final Thoughts

Jennifer Cohen and Dave Asprey jointly conclude that fixing the fragility of Gen Z starts with parents learning how to be parents—setting boundaries, embracing discomfort, role-modeling resilience, and above all, training kids through real adversity rather than protecting them from it.

"If you’re not comfortable with your kids being uncomfortable, you’re the problem." — Dave Asprey (A, 55:14)

Watch Jennifer Cohen’s TED talk for further actionable points (55:20).

For references and more details, visit JenniferCohen.com and find this episode’s resources in the show notes.