Alex Hormozi (82:12)
It's just like this is. I have to define these terms in order to talk about them because they're also amorphous. And if I never define them, then I would just be making face noise and other people would be perceiving my face noise in whatever way they think it means, which they haven't defined anyways. And so then there'd be a lack of communication. I think fundamentally good communicators are able to transfer ideas efficiently because they use language that everyone understands and ideally things that everyone can observe with their own. Your eyes. And so that's. I try and stick to everything being observable. And so as a result, it's made persuasion way easier. It's being the most important one is that like, if I want to train, which is. Happens a lot in the business setting, it's like, how do you train someone? And you're like, be more confident. What does that mean? Tell a six year old, be confident. It means nothing. It means nothing. They might just say like that means talk louder. I don't know what that means. Right. And so it's a bundled term. So we have to break the term down. It's like, okay, well this is actually a series of many behaviors underneath of confidence that when taken in aggregate, we then describe that person. Person is confident. So maybe they look at you in the eyes when they talk. Maybe they nod their head when they're listening. Maybe they repeat back the last thing that you said. Maybe when, when there's, when there's something that has potential risk or downside, they're willing to do it. Like these are all things that we can observe. And they say, okay, well if you have these, these, you exhibit these traits, these skills in this setting. People describe you as confident. Does that make sense? And so being able to break things down like that has allowed me to help my team when I'm like, hey, you know, I've told this story before, but basically, I had a guy who, you know, a lot of people were saying, hey, this guy's acting like a dick. But he was a star performer. So we're like, okay, well, let's see if we can save him, you know? And so he talked to three or four of the leaders in the company, and he was still a dick. And so I was like, what'd you tell him? We're like, oh, we told him to stop being a dick. I was like, okay, well, so I ended up meeting with him, and I was like, I want to be clear. I don't really care if you're a dick or not. I do care if people describe you as a dick. And I want to like. The purpose of this meeting is to decrease likelihood that anyone talks about me. About you again in a negative context. Cool. Great. So that was the agenda. It's like, all right, so in order for that to occur, let's talk about the things that when you do them, people don't like them, and they call you a dick. So it's like when you interrupt people during a meeting, they think you're a dick, and they call you a dick. Later, when you tell someone how to do their job, they call you a dick, and you try and force your agenda, whatever. It was two or three examples. And he was like, so that's all I have to do. I was like, yep, that's all you have to do. He's like, but what if I present this thing and then they don't execute on it? I was like, then that's not on you. That's on the manager. And I'll talk to the manager and make sure that they're executing, but that's not on you. That's not your role. And so once that got clear, all of a sudden, he just stopped doing the three things that everyone. The three behaviors that people then laddered up to saying he's a dick. And then they stopped calling him a dick. And then everyone's like, oh, he's like, night and day, totally different. But it was just like, no one's specific with their language, and so no one knows what anyone's talking about. And I think the vast majority of people don't communicate well with one another because both people are saying words that neither person understands, and no one's defined anything. And that's why most people can't communicate at all. And that's why most people are dissatisfied with their life. And that's why they can't manage their relationships because they're like both people get upset. No one knows how to communicate. And then that's it. They're just like, they want the other person to guess what behavior they don't like. And so it's like, even if I said, oh, you know, John's lazy, you have to think. And this is why most people don't do this, because it takes work. You have to think, okay, I think John's lazy. Why do I think John's lazy? What occurred, what did I observe that then made me think that now you might find out? It's like, you know what, he's actually just slow to respond. Okay, is there anything else? There was one meeting, he came ill prepared. Is there anything else? No, I think that was actually it. Okay, so when I go to John, instead of being like, hey, you're lazy, I'm going to say, hey, I need you to speed up your responses to under five minutes. And when you come to a meeting, have your notes ahead of time, just send them to me. All of a sudden, John's not lazy anymore. But it's because it was this very micro thing that we then ladder up to this amorphous term that no one can understand. And, and so this has been a huge area of interest for me in defining reality. And I think that honestly, it's helped me navigate reality really well and make higher quality decisions.
