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The Interview
Lady Gaga's Latest Experiment? Happiness.
00:48:56
The pop superstar reflects on her struggles with mental health, the pressures of the music industry and why she’s returned to the sound that made her famous.
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- [00:00]
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- [00:32]
David Marchese
From the new York Times. This is the interview. I'm David Marchese. Lady Gaga is undoubtedly one of pop culture's great shape shifters. She's tried on, with great success, a whole range of different musical styles, from the dance pop of her earliest albums, like the fame to the country rock of Joanne.
- [00:59]
Lady Gaga
Hear my sinner's prayer I am what I am and I don't wanna break the heart of any other man but you.
- [01:08]
David Marchese
But you wrote to her albums of jazzy duets with the great crooner Tony.
- [01:13]
Lady Gaga
Bennett, who's prepared to pay the price for a trip to paradise. Love for sale.
- [01:23]
David Marchese
So when I heard that Gaga's new album Mayhem, was a return to the pop sounds of work, I wondered why a master of reinvention would be making that move. Was it a back to the basics turn? A nostalgia play? Was Lady Gaga revisiting her own earlier style? Meant to be some sort of meta comment on what it means to be Lady Gaga? But as she explained it, the answer, in a way, is all of the above. She and I talked about that new album, as well as how her relationship with her fiance helped shape its music. We talked, too, about the loneliness of fame and how it's taken her 20 years to learn how to be a boss. Here's my conversation with Lady Gaga.
- [02:11]
Lady Gaga
Hi.
- [02:12]
David Marchese
Hi. How are you?
- [02:13]
Lady Gaga
I'm good.
- [02:14]
Michael Polanski
How are you?
- [02:15]
David Marchese
Good. It's nice to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to do this.
- [02:18]
Lady Gaga
Yes, it's nice to meet you too. I'm very happy to be doing this. I'm just making sure all my devices are off. Okay. Everything's off.
- [02:25]
David Marchese
So in an announcement that I saw for Mayhem must have been on social media somewhere, you referred to your fear of going back to the pop music that your earliest fans love. Why is that something you were scared of?
- [02:42]
Lady Gaga
You know, I lived in New York and grew up here my whole life, and I made my artistic way living on the Lower east side of starting around 17 years old and really kind of worked the New York music scene as much as I Could. Ultimately, that landed me into making the Fame, which was my first studio album. And, you know, that music came out of the culture of people that I was sort of living with at the time. Downtown, I was surrounded by musicians, photographers, artists, club promoters, people that lived and breathed art for it was a community of support. And I think one of the reasons I was afraid is I was so far away now from that community. And not having my community was, you know, was difficult. And I also think I was afraid to return to something that my fans fell in love with early because it felt very far away and because it also felt like maybe I would be just, like, recycling something that I'd done before. But ultimately I decided I really wanted to do it, and that this sonic style and sonic aesthetic really did belong to me, and it was something that I created, and that was part of the joy of making the album.
- [04:06]
David Marchese
How do you characterize that sound for people?
- [04:10]
Lady Gaga
I think that my sound is like an amalgamation of all the music that helped me fall in love with music. It's got classic rock in it. It has disco in it. It has electronic music in it. 80s synth. It's sort of like all of these memories of music. Something that we did on the album is, like, we would take the bass, play it live, and then we would actually run it through the analog synths to see how it would sound. After guitar parts that would be, like, indicative of the way Prince would play it or the way David Bowie would play it. I would say it's sort of like picking and choosing my favorite fragments of songs that I loved throughout my childhood. And so many different kinds of artists with so many different genres. And to me, that is my music. It's everything I love about music, but it's all in one place. And I didn't always do that. I sometimes, in my records, like, decided, okay, I'm gonna make my version of a country record.
- [05:15]
David Marchese
Like Joanne.
- [05:17]
Lady Gaga
Like Joanne. Right. And, you know, Neil Young was making a record right across the way from me in the same studio. And then I would, like, you know, listen to Harvest Moon and, like, Daydream, and then I would write a song like Joanne. But those records, I think the way that I was sort of, like, bridled to think about women in music, you know, they talk to you a lot about, like, your look and what the aesthetic is for the album and, like, the brand of the music, and that at some point, started to affect the way I made music, and I didn't.
- [05:53]
David Marchese
Oh, yeah? How so?
- [05:55]
Lady Gaga
Well, you know, like, with Joanne, I was like, okay, well, since I'm going to do this, like, country folk thing now, I'm going to make sure that each song fits into that theme. Whereas with mayhem, I didn't do that with mayhem, I let each song speak its own language. And that, like, chaos that I have maybe always felt criticized for, I celebrated instead.
- [06:18]
David Marchese
And when you said there were ways in which you sort of felt bridled in the way that people thought about women in pop music, what did you mean by that?
- [06:29]
Lady Gaga
And it's just the way they talk to you about, you know, who you are when, you know, I had my own kind of image when I moved to Hollywood and was playing my music for Interscope for the first time. And, you know, they have conversations with you about, like, what's your look gonna be? And, you know, you're sort of thinking, like, it's gonna be me, you know, well, how are you gonna dress? Well, I'm gonna. Gonna wear what I usually wear when I'm on stage performing. And it's just the way they sort of introduce you to start thinking about it as a business as opposed to a performance. So I think a lot of my career, in a way, was like a retaliation against that. I mean, it's no secret that I loved to make waves with my stage performances and my fashion. But, yeah, I think what I was trying to say was that, like, that way of thinking kind of made its way at some point into the way I approached, and I had to kind of fight it.
- [07:28]
David Marchese
Were there ways in which you. You felt like you were in an exploitative relationship?
- [07:36]
Lady Gaga
You know, were there ever times that I felt like I was being exploited or in an.
- [07:43]
David Marchese
Or just treated as a commodity?
- [07:45]
Lady Gaga
Yes, 100%. I mean, I think the. What's interesting is I always feel nervous to talk about this because I'm like. I always feel like. I want to say that I'm extremely grateful for the career that I've had and all the blessings that have come into my life. And I also can say with a lot of honesty and truth that being in the music industry since I was a teenager, like, some of it is what you can. Like how much you can stand. It's like how much you are willing to give away of yourself. You know, there were, like, years and years at a time when the normal routine of daily life just float. Goes away. Things like eating at the dinner table with your family is just. Just never happens anymore. And being in a room by yourself never happens anymore. Being sort of carted around, told where to go. I'm sure, that must sound, like, peculiar to people, because they see you on top of the world and they think you're the boss. But as a woman in music, I would say it took me 20 years to become the boss, and I am now. And that's thanks to having wonderful people around me, including my partner Michael. He really helped me become the boss. But, no, I was not always the boss, but I was the boss of my music. I was the boss of my art. And that was kind of the only thing, you know, because if you strike at the art, then no one gets what they want from you. But, yeah, it's interesting. I, like, wrestle with this, how to talk about it, because, yeah, I just. I want to. Want to acknowledge all the blessings in my life while also, you know, speaking up for women in this industry that, you know. You know, women, when we're working in the music business, when we're young, you know that there's, like, no laws around, like, who can be a producer. And, like, if they, like, they're not vetted by anyone. So, like, when you're 17 years old and you are invited into a studio, like, you have, like, no protection at all. Like, you don't know where you're going. You may not even have an adult in the room with you other than the person that you're working with. It's just. It's not the safest industry.
- [10:27]
David Marchese
I'm curious what you made of Chapelroone's speech at the Grammys where she about sort of the ways in which the record labels are not supporting the artists with, you know, healthcare, living wage.
- [10:41]
Lady Gaga
I think she's a wonderful artist. I think Chapelron is, like, speaking the truth, and she is courageous to do so. And I think we should. For me, I just want to be supportive of her. And I look at what she's been doing and saying and think, like, man, I should have, like, stood up for myself more when I was younger, because I hope that will bring more space for her and more boundaries for her in her career to have the career that she wants. I think a woman speaking their mind is a powerful thing, and I was really happy that she did that.
- [11:20]
David Marchese
And your partner, Michael Polanski.
- [11:24]
Lady Gaga
Yes.
- [11:24]
David Marchese
He's an executive producer on the album.
- [11:27]
Michael Polanski
Yes, he is.
- [11:28]
David Marchese
Can you just sort of talk to me about how that role played out for him? Like, what impact does he have on the music?
- [11:37]
Lady Gaga
I mean, Michael was in the studio, like, every single day with me while I was working. He oversaw the whole process of making the record, completing it, you know, helping me to shape the sound of the record creatively, to trust myself. It was incredibly, like, kind and beautiful. It's, like, an amazing thing to do with your partner, you know? Cause when I start to doubt myself, like, there is nobody that's gonna call me on it better than he is.
- [12:10]
David Marchese
Do you have an example?
- [12:12]
Lady Gaga
Yeah, Actually, there was, like, one point where I almost turned the whole album into, like, a grunge record.
- [12:20]
David Marchese
And he talked you out of that. I would've listened to that album.
- [12:23]
Lady Gaga
Okay, well, there's enough. There's, like, plenty on the album. But it was right after I did Perfect Celebrity, that song, and I was like, oh, now everything should be this. And he was like. He said, but there's so much other amazing music that you've made, and it's all you. You don't have to try to be something. I thought that was really astute, and I was happy it happened because very often I will run with my crazy idea and then look back on it and sometimes regret that change. So, yeah, it was really cool.
- [13:01]
David Marchese
I could imagine that relationships are tricky for someone in your position because, you know, you might have questions about someone else's, you know, whether or not their feelings are genuine or if they have ulterior motives or, you know, just sort of if they really want to be with you or their idea of who you are. How did you realized that, like, Michael was genuine?
- [13:24]
Lady Gaga
How did I know Michael was genuine? I mean, from the moment that I met Michael, he had the most warm and kind disposition of, like, mostly anyone that I had maybe met in my whole life. And, yes, he was impressive. All he had, like, all these businesses that he was running, and. But the thing I cared about the most was, like, he. He, like, wanted to know about my family. I'm really sorry to cry.
- [14:03]
David Marchese
No, it's okay. Well, I'm sorry.
- [14:04]
Lady Gaga
It's okay to cry on a podcast, because no one can see you.
- [14:07]
David Marchese
It is you.
- [14:10]
Lady Gaga
He was. He just. He wanted to be my friend. He wanted to be my friend, and it was just. It was something really special. I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say is I knew Michael was genuine because he wanted to be my friend. He wasn't asking to go to things with me or, like. I don't know how to explain it. How do you explain. How do you explain the thing that people do? That's hard. He didn't want to do any of the things that the other people wanted to do. He. He wanted to take walks with me. He took me rock climbing. Well, because I also had, like, a pain condition that I still have. But, you know, he. He had this belief that I could get better, and he really inspired me to have more hope about it, so. And, you know, the truth is, Michael really is, like, not a fan of the spotlight.
- [15:18]
David Marchese
It's.
- [15:19]
Lady Gaga
He had a really hard time with the cameras when we first started dating, and he kind of got comfortable with it for me so that we could do it together. So, yeah, I guess I know Michael's genuine because he's my friend.
- [15:36]
David Marchese
I'm very. I'm. You know, I hope this doesn't sound trite. I don't mean it tritely. I'm very glad that you found that.
- [15:42]
Lady Gaga
Yeah. Thank you. I'm glad I found it too. It was really hard not having it. You know, it's like, not a good feeling to have so much trouble making friends. That was really hard for me over the course of my career. You know, being actually friends with somebody is like. It's like a very specific thing. Right? It's like when you can sit in a room together and not talk and read and you can take long walks and talk about, you know, your family. You can obsess over a new recipe and go to the grocery store and go make it. Like there's. There's. It's. Friendship is not about, like. I don't think it should be transactional, but I think I just was around a lot of that all the time. I was kind of, like, starved for it. So it was a. It's a big blessing that I, you know, I met someone that was, you know, not like that. And. And it's good for the music, too.
- [16:45]
David Marchese
You know, I could imagine that the sort of feeling of contentment might be a feeling that artists can mistrust because of the idea that, you know, great art is created under sort of tense circumstances or. I'm sure you. You are aware of albums that people love. And part of the legend of them is that they were recorded when the artist was struggling. Like, you're a David Bowie fan, right? You know, and it's like everyone knows he made Station to Station or whatever when he was, like, thought he was being chased by witches. Cause he was out of his mind on cocaine and only eating hot peppers and drinking milk. And like, his life was insane. He was probably pretty unhappy. But he did make a great album. But we don't have as many cultural legends about when happy artists make great art.
- [17:33]
Lady Gaga
Yeah. I mean, that's the lore, right? And on some of its truth, right. That artists make people say Artists make their best work when we're tortured. But I would really like to do away with that, actually. I think it's super unhealthy for, like, the world. And I think I've made some of my best work and I'm happy and healthy. And because I have all my faculties as a musician, I also think that, like, romanticizing sick artists, it, like, perpetuates this thing that's super negative. And especially for women. I want women to feel like they can be healthy and be happy that we will celebrate them in their health. But you're right. That is definitely a thing. I feel really grateful that I'm still here. I definitely think that my life could have been very different, maybe over five years ago. I think I was in a really dark place, and I wouldn't say I made my best music during that time at all. So, for what it's worth, coming from me, I'm not the only artist that ever lived. But in my experience, the hardest times in my life were not the best music I ever made.
- [18:50]
David Marchese
Were there times where you felt like you didn't make something that was authentic to yourself?
- [18:57]
Lady Gaga
I don't know. Yeah, sometimes. Maybe, like a song here or there. Maybe I was feeling deeply insecure or. You know, I think Chromatica was really hard for me. That was a very authentic dance record that I'm very proud of, and I loved working on that. But it was just a hard time in my life. I think it's hard to feel deeply authentic when you don't feel well because, like, you can't, like, feel the wind at your back. And I just wasn't feeling well. So it was authentic to the time. For sure. I wrote all those songs, sang all those songs. But I think that in terms of, like, being connected to my pure artistic source, I think that there were times when I was feeling healthier that I would probably say those felt more authentic to me.
- [19:52]
David Marchese
There are a lot of ways in which I think of your music as, in a way, sort of a comment on authenticity. Have your ideas about what it means to be authentic changed over time?
- [20:05]
Lady Gaga
I think I definitely was, like, fascinated with artifice when I first started my musical career. And I thought the use of artifice can be incredibly authentic, just the way that you do it. I think my understanding of authenticity is that what's changed for me is it has to be on my own terms. It has to be something that I decide, because I think for myself over the years, especially because I started out a career in commenting on artifice and Then I sort of traveled into what some of my fans would even call, like, normcore with Joanne, and A star is born. I think there were some people that thought that that wasn't authentic. So I think what I realized is I have to understand, for me, I have to know my authenticity for myself. And, yeah, authenticity to me is a committee of one.
- [21:06]
David Marchese
You know, if you look at the history of pop music, like, there's not a ton of people who don't end up becoming, like, as they get older, don't end up becoming, you know, legacy acts or chasing trends or something like that. Are there people you look to and say, like, oh, they forged a trail that looks comfortable for me to go down.
- [21:26]
Lady Gaga
I mean, I think Tony Bennett forged the trail that means the most to me. I mean, you know, Tony always used to tell me, he used to say, just stick with quality, kid. And that made me feel so happy and safe, that if I leaned into my artistry, I didn't have to be afraid. And so that's like. I mean, that's a lot of what this album is for me is I just leaned into my musicianship hard. Like, really hard. And I told myself, you know, whatever happens over the next 20 years, 30 years of your career, you're always gonna be a musician, and you're always gonna be an artist, and you can always work at it, and you can always do more of it. But I think I've definitely, like, arrived at a place where, you know, achieving world domination into my 90s is, like, not exactly what makes me tick, you know? And this idea of winning is. I don't know if that's synonymous necessarily always with great music.
- [22:36]
David Marchese
Do you feel like you. You might have a different attitude about the idea of winning if you hadn't already won?
- [22:43]
Lady Gaga
In a sense, maybe. Yeah. I mean, I ask myself that question pretty often, actually. Like, how would I look at this differently? Am I thinking about this the right way? And, you know, there's just noise sometimes and pressure, but the person that puts the most pressure on me is me. Sometimes I have to warn myself to do something at 70%. Like, don't go 100, because 100 is gonna bang you up. Like, I'm getting ready for Coachella, and I'm so, so excited. But I've definitely lost sleep, like, a whole bunch of nights, and it's just. Cause I want to do a great job, and I'm really hard on myself and, you know, but it's. I love making people smile. Like, if there's a time and a date Where I've been slotted, like, you could make the public smile from, you know, 11pm until 1 in the morning. I really want to make it happen.
- [23:41]
David Marchese
You know, I think of your music as celebrating difference, but I wouldn't say in the larger culture right now, it feels like difference is something that's being celebrated. Do you think about how your music fits into the larger culture that you're putting it out into?
- [24:00]
Lady Gaga
You know, I think that people that are different are part of what reminds us all how to love and how to be strong. And it makes me really sad that we live in this world where it's acceptable to hurt other people, to be powerful, But I think during times like these, we have to get louder. And what I wish for people to know is that, like, we can work together to be loud, and we can work together to love each other. And that, like, just because dark people are winning, it doesn't mean that we are invisible or that we are unimportant.
- [24:50]
David Marchese
I'm thinking of the Grammys, and when you accepted an award, I think you were the only artist who said something was explicitly in support of trans rights. Do you see your mission as an artist in 2025 is to. Is there a political aspect to it?
- [25:14]
Lady Gaga
I think there's just always been a political aspect to being in the public eye. For me, like, I'm not interested in being famous to stand for nothing at all. It's a privilege to stand with people that are so amazing. I'm in awe of the trans community, and I'm in awe of the LGBTQ community, and I have been since I was really young. And if you win an award, like, you have 45 seconds to speak while the world is listening. I just wanted to say something that matters to people that I care about. You know, I'm not a trans person, but I. You know, I try to imagine what it would feel like to wake up living in America and living in the world right now. And I just think being. Being supportive, being kind, and we can't just whisper about these things. We have to say them out loud. I think.
- [26:17]
David Marchese
You know, I think kindness is a hugely underrated value. Do you have thoughts about how we might sort of promote or embody? Yeah. So that people see it as the valuable thing that it is.
- [26:35]
Lady Gaga
Look, I'm, like, not an authority on kindness, but my thoughts. My thoughts are. It's not just about what you put on your Instagram. It's about how you live your life. It's about, like, how you have conversations with people who you make an effort to be friends with, to understand the stories of others. It's about, in your business, whatever your business is, how do you make sure that all these systems that are around you are operating in kind ways and inclusive ways, ways that celebrate people? To me, that's where kindness has to live. It can't just be something that's like, when people are watching, I'll be kind. You gotta be kind all the time.
- [27:22]
David Marchese
I want to go back to more music, specific subjects for a second. Is it harder with the amount of options you have in the studio to know when to stop experimenting? There's one thing. If you're sitting with a little tape recorder on top of your piano and you can only do so much. But when you're actually in a professional studio and the possibilities are kind of endless, how do you figure out when something is ready, which takes to use?
- [27:52]
Lady Gaga
Yeah, it just, like. I don't know, like, when it sounds right. I know that's, like, maybe not a great answer, but when it sounds right, I really do see music in my head when I'm working. It, like, looks like a wall of colors. And so sometimes when you. When I hear the right, like, take of something, it just, like, feels like the wall's complete. And I'm like, that's the one. Sometimes it's visually like a dream, but mostly in the studio, it's a wall. It's a wall of color.
- [28:24]
David Marchese
Do you have that experience when you're listening to other people's music?
- [28:31]
Lady Gaga
When I listen to. I think I do. I think it's much stronger when I'm making my own. But, yeah, when I listen to other people's music, yeah, I do see colors. Yeah, I do. Like, that made me instantly think of Beck. I'm like a huge Beck fan. I'm trying to think of all the colors I've seen. Listening to Beck. One of the greatest records ever made was, I think, was Morning Phase.
- [28:54]
David Marchese
Oh, yeah, The Beck album from. I think it was, like, 2014.
- [28:57]
Lady Gaga
Yeah, it was, like, really a special piece of music. That album, to me, was like medicine, like, audio medicine.
- [29:06]
David Marchese
In what way? Why did it affect you at that time?
- [29:09]
Lady Gaga
I think just the way that he used those sounds. I was going through a lot with my fibromyalgia and pain, and I would listen to that album every day to kind of soothe myself. And I turned it on every single morning. And I remember Rick Rubin was the first person that ever played it for me. He played it for me before it came out. And it was so interesting because I Had made art pop and art pop was so noisy. Rick was like, he loved rpap and he was like. He was like, let's listen to this back record. I want you to hear this. And he played it for me and it was so, like, easy to listen to and it was so beautiful and just like the guitar sounded like bells and the strings, like, it's just. It's just a very beautiful piece of music. I like beautiful music. It's funny, I don't know that I always make, like, very easy listening music, but I like to listen to it.
- [30:11]
David Marchese
What other beautiful music do you like?
- [30:14]
Lady Gaga
I like Julian Lodge, the guitar player.
- [30:16]
David Marchese
Oh, the guitar player, yeah. Oh.
- [30:18]
Lady Gaga
Huh. Yeah. And I loved Billie Eilish's album this year. I thought Hit me hard and soft was like a beautiful piece of music.
- [30:28]
David Marchese
You made reference a couple times to your fibromyalgia.
- [30:32]
Michael Polanski
Yes.
- [30:33]
David Marchese
Is that something that's under control for you right now? Like, what is your relationship with the illness?
- [30:39]
Lady Gaga
Yeah, I mean, I would say that, like, for the most part, I'm a lot better, but I still have pain flares. I have one today, so I'm sorry. It's okay. You know, I'm like, fine. I just, you know, it just still happens once in a while and it's like, I'm really grateful that it's not all the time. So, yeah, I'm okay.
- [31:01]
David Marchese
You know, the music video for Abracadabra looks to me like a very physically intense music video. Is that something you would have been able to do when the fibromyalgia was less under control?
- [31:17]
Lady Gaga
Well, that was a very physically challenging video to do. I loved every moment of learning the choreography. Paris Goble is an amazing choreographer. I'm definitely in a place where, like, I'm in the place where, like, even today, if I went to the dance studio, I'd be fine. But yeah, there were years ago where that would have been really, really hard.
- [31:42]
Michael Polanski
So, yeah, I've just.
- [31:43]
Lady Gaga
I've just gotten a lot healthier and. But I mean, so, I mean, not to be like, too graphic, but like, years ago, I used to get a lot more like pinched nerves all over my body. So it would have been a lot harder to do a video like that. I stopped dancing a lot for a while, I think, to make things more manageable for myself. But I'm, you know, kind of back. Feeling good. Feeling good.
- [32:12]
David Marchese
Now there's a great story. Maybe it's apocryphal that when you were very young, you were playing at some bar in Manhattan and There were some, like, loud frat boys there, and they weren't paying attention. Do you know where the story's going?
- [32:29]
Lady Gaga
It feels yes.
- [32:30]
David Marchese
And then the way you got them to pay attention was you basically stripped down to your underwear and performed. And that showed you new possibilities for the kind of artist that you could be. There could be a performance art aspect to what you were going to do. And I am just very curious to know if more recently you've had any other sort of similar artistic epiphanies or where your own perspective on what you're capable of opened up.
- [33:01]
Lady Gaga
Yeah, I mean, I was, like, definitely somewhat of an exhibitionist as a young artist, and I loved it so much. And I was also a big fan of shock art and studied it a lot when I was younger. Like, I thought Spencer Tunick's art was really interesting. I thought Sandy Skogland's art was really interesting, Marina Abramovich's art. But I think where I've arrived now in my career is I feel a lot more comfortable and at ease with my artistry. And also I feel comfortable creating some boundaries around how to prioritize things. Like, I would. I would definitely say for a while in my career, you know, prioritizing.
- [33:51]
Michael Polanski
You.
- [33:52]
Lady Gaga
Know, fashion and red carpets, like, it feels like it's like a part of. It's a part of your art, but it's also a part of the job. That's usually a part of the job that a lot of the people around you really like. And I would say now I've prioritized that less and that I'll spend much more of my day playing piano and singing, writing songs, producing. And I don't mean that in a disrespect to the art of glam, because I know that my fans know this, that red carpets, for me, were a place to be artistic during my career.
- [34:29]
David Marchese
Yeah, they were a canvas.
- [34:31]
Lady Gaga
They really were a canvas. And even though I sometimes sort of resented the beauty pageantry of it all. Cause that's not really my thing, the competition of it, I think it's not really my thing. But there is some freedom in going like, okay, I have a red carpet later. But instead of spending my entire day planning for this or weeks planning for this, I'm gonna make another album or I'm gonna work on a new project. Because the reason I'm bringing this up is because I think I felt pulled in so many different directions over the last 20 years. But the place that I feel where I feel the most happy is working on my own Art. And like, I think the, yeah, the, the image piece of it, I prefer that a lot more when it's about artistry and it's not about, like, just, just about beauty. There's like, lots of corsets and dieting and makeup and pressure and it's like this, you know, and then there's, you know, there's the best dress lists and, you know, it's like it's its own thing. And I don't mean that to be, like, disrespectful of it. Like, I partake in it, but that definitely is more challenging. That's like, more challenging for me than making, like, my record. It just feels a little bit further away from who I am. I guess what I'm saying is these races that women are a part of, it's like, that's not really for me.
- [36:23]
David Marchese
After the break, Lady Gaga and I sit down in person and talk about the kind of mom she'd like to be.
- [36:30]
Michael Polanski
I think the thing that's the most important to me is to not force my children to live a life that they are not choosing. Because when they're kids, you know, there's no way for them to understand what fame is and how it will change their lives.
- [36:59]
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- [38:09]
David Marchese
Hi.
- [38:10]
Lady Gaga
Hi.
- [38:11]
David Marchese
How are you?
- [38:12]
Michael Polanski
How are you?
- [38:14]
David Marchese
You know the drill here, but you can get pretty close up on these microphones, but you just want to. Do you have much experience with microphones?
- [38:19]
Michael Polanski
No, actually this is new for me.
- [38:22]
David Marchese
But thank you for doing this in person. It's so fun.
- [38:26]
Michael Polanski
Absolutely, of course.
- [38:27]
David Marchese
But we talked earlier about the idea of how there was a point in your career when you were particularly interested in sort of playing with artifice and sort of trying on different Personas. And I was wondering if there was any way in which that was ever psychologically destabilizing or hard to manage. You're nodding. Yeah.
- [38:56]
Michael Polanski
Sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but absolutely. At a certain point, I just completely lost touch with reality. I mean, I was falling so deeply into the fantasy of my artwork and my stage Persona that I lost. Yeah, I lost touch. I wouldn't say that falling deeper into a life of being a tortured character actually was good for anything.
- [39:23]
David Marchese
It worked, though.
- [39:25]
Michael Polanski
You know, I suppose in a way. I suppose in a way. But I do think there's some. There's, like, some people that really liked that side of me, but I didn't.
- [39:37]
Lady Gaga
Like that side of me.
- [39:38]
Michael Polanski
And I was really unhappy. And I do feel like I have myself in order now. I went back downtown to a bar that I used to go to all the time. Last week, I'd go in the middle of the day, and I would order a whiskey and a beer. That's where my friends were. That's where my artist community was. But I used to visit and feel really sad, like I was really far away from the person that I was when I was living down there. But this last time that I went, it was. I don't know how to explain it any other way than I just felt like the old me.
- [40:20]
David Marchese
Yeah.
- [40:20]
Michael Polanski
And losing yourself in your art is.
- [40:26]
Lady Gaga
I think, something that's romanticized for sure.
- [40:29]
Michael Polanski
But I don't know that it was actually good.
- [40:31]
David Marchese
Let me ask you this, though. Do you have any skepticism internally about whether the person you are now is just another Persona that you're trying on?
- [40:45]
Lady Gaga
No. No, not anymore. No.
- [40:48]
Michael Polanski
But I know. I know. I know why you're asking me that.
- [40:54]
David Marchese
Because, like, the I am authentic now is a thing that people do.
- [41:00]
Michael Polanski
I'm sure that that does happen. I think it has less to do with. Well, okay, let's put it this way. I was authentic before. That was authentically me. I just was authentically splitting off into different personalities all the time. I would say that now, like, who I would be at dinner with you is who I would be in this interview. So I guess authenticity is subjective. Like, to say that performance isn't authentic is not really true. I just feel like I more easily can hold it all and feel. I feel confident in the idea that my artistry as a musician is, like, the most valuable thing about me. After, of course, what I have to offer my family and my loved ones, meaning I would not put artifice and fame as high on the list. To go back to your question.
- [42:14]
David Marchese
And you brought up a period 5 or so years ago when it seems like your mental health was not in a great place. Are you able to tell me more about what was going on with you then?
- [42:29]
Michael Polanski
Yeah, I mean, well, I had psychosis, so I was not deeply in touch with reality for a while, and it, like, took me out of life in a big way. And after, like, a lot of years of hard work, I, like, got myself back. And it was. It was a really hard time. And it was actually really, really special when I met my partner, because when I met Michael, I was, like, in a much better place when I met him. But I remember him saying to me.
- [43:12]
Lady Gaga
Like, pretty early.
- [43:15]
Michael Polanski
I know you could.
- [43:16]
Lady Gaga
Be a lot happier than you are.
- [43:19]
Michael Polanski
And it was really hard for me to hear him say that because I didn't want him to think that of me. I wanted him to think I was this happy, just totally together person. And I wasn't really yet. So I guess, I mean to share that as a way of saying that, like, I do think it can get better if you are going through a hard mental health time, but it's also something that I have found increasingly harder to talk about. I think I hate feeling defined by it. It's like a ghost of yourself. That's what it felt like to me, like something I felt ashamed of. But I don't think that we should feel ashamed if we go through times like that. And I mostly just wish to say, like, if you have been through something like that, or you are, it can get better. And it did for me, and I'm really grateful for that.
- [44:19]
David Marchese
How did it. Were there turning points, like, how did you turn it around?
- [44:22]
Michael Polanski
I mean, it sort of goes back to what you were saying about, like, playing characters. Earlier in my career. I had to figure out a way to integrate myself fully with my stage Persona and, like, kind of, like, inhabit Lady Gaga's boss energy in my everyday life, but, you know, in an empowered way and make sense of, like, maybe two things that don't make a ton of sense. You know, I'd like to think that I'm a kind person, but there's, like, a ferociousness and a hardness and an intensity that I have on stage as a performer. So I think I had to learn how to hold those two things and have them not be at war with each other. And that's actually one of the reasons I named my album Mayhem because to me, that tension is chaotic.
- [45:14]
David Marchese
I was thinking about the title Mayhem, and I thought, Mayhem is. It can be an exciting feeling to visit, but not one you want to live in 100%.
- [45:30]
Michael Polanski
That is a great way of saying it, and yet I live in it. So, I mean, that's still. Well, it's part of my truth. Yeah, it is always a part of me. It's just I've learned to hold it and not pour gasoline on it. I used to just. The more chaos, the better all the time. Just living life on the edge constantly. And I'm now proud to be much more boring.
- [46:00]
David Marchese
Before the interview officially started on Tuesday, when we were just making small talk, I mentioned my kids and you, in a very wistful way, said, like, you know, I would love to have kids one day. Do you have any apprehension about having kids and still being able to be the Lady Gaga you need to be?
- [46:21]
Michael Polanski
No, I don't. I'm really excited to be a mom. I used to have a lot of apprehension about it. I mean, I think the thing that's the most important to me is to not force my children to live a life that they are not choosing. Because when they're kids, you know, there's no way for me, there's no way for them to understand what fame is and how it will change their lives. So I think the more that we can kind of give them space to discover who they are on their own, I think that's the thing that I believe in the most. I sort of feel as though if our children only understand mommy's job, that's like a very narrow view of life. But then, you know, I also kind of am at war with myself sometimes as I get ready to hopefully become a mom soon. That, like, you know, today's wonderful, but, like, the whole day has revolved around me, you know, Like, I've been in interviews, like, talking about myself all day, and, like, there's an incredible amount of narcissism in this. And I think as I grow up, I'm kind of like, more and more self aware of that and figuring out how to, like, how do you live a life where. How do I live a life where I'm passionate about my art while also removing that from the center of gravity at all times and making more space for other things? That's something that's on my mind a lot about my place in the world.
- [48:03]
David Marchese
I suspect the only answer is through living it.
- [48:07]
Michael Polanski
Yeah, through living it. And I think also, like, allowing there to be you know, holidays like Mayhem coming out. It's kind of like my birthday. It's like a special day, you know, because I get to deliver all the music. But then maybe there's a time for it to be someone else's holiday.
- [48:32]
David Marchese
Any last words? Did I miss anything?
- [48:34]
Lady Gaga
I don't think so.
- [48:35]
Michael Polanski
This is. This was great. I've never done anything quite like this before. I just mean that sometimes it can, like, lean in a direction or like I can be led into shaping, shaping the whole thing. Like almost like someone has an idea of me before they talk to me and then they. They want that to happen and.
- [48:55]
David Marchese
Right.
- [48:55]
Michael Polanski
I don't feel like that happened to you.
- [48:57]
Lady Gaga
So.
- [48:58]
David Marchese
Good.
- [48:58]
Lady Gaga
That was really cool. Thanks for being so cool.
- [49:02]
David Marchese
Thank you for being cool. Lady Gaga. Thank you very much. I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
- [49:07]
Michael Polanski
Thank you.
- [49:12]
David Marchese
That's Lady Gaga. Her new album Mayhem is out now. This conversation was produced by Wyatt Orme. It was edited by Annabelle Bacon, mixing by Afim Shapiro. Original music by Dan Powell, Rowan Niemisto and Marion Lozano. Photography by Philip Montgomery. Our senior booker is Priya Matthew and Seth Kelly is our senior producer. Our executive producer is Alison Benedikt. Special thanks to Rory Walsh, Renan Borelli, Jeffrey Miranda, Nick Pittman, Mattie Masiello, Jake Silverstein, Paula Schumann and Sam Dolnick. If you like what you're hearing, follow or subscribe to the interview. Wherever you get your podcasts to read or listen to any of our conversations, you can always go to NY Times and you can email us anytime@theinterviewytimes.com Next week, Lulu talks with Senator Chuck Schumer. I'm David Marchese and this is the interview from the New York Times.
- [50:30]
Polestar Representative
This episode is supported by Choiceology, an original podcast from Charles Schwab hosted by Katie Milkman, an award winning behavioral scientist and author of the best selling book how to Change. Choiceology is a show about the psychology and economics behind our decisions. Hear true stories from Nobel laureates, historians, authors, athletes and everyday people about why we do the things we do. Listen to Choiceology at schwab. Com podcast or wherever you listen.