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Toast the holidays in a new way and raise a glass of Rumchata, a delicious creamy blend of horchata with rum. Enjoy it over ice or in your coffee. Rumchata. Your holiday cocktails just got sweeter. Tap or click the banner for more. Drink responsibly. Caribbean rum with real dairy cream. Natural and artificial flavors. Alcohol 13.75% by volume 27.5 proof. Copyright 2025, Agave Loco Brands, Pojoaquee, Wisconsin. All rights reserved. So I'm a bad mom. I guess I'm a really bad mom because it turns out I have done the cardinal sin of new age parenting and I have never asked my daughter for her consent to change her diaper at six and a half months old. This is real Parenting experts are now telling parents that they need to get consent from their infant children to take their pee and poop filled diapers off of their bodies. And while we're at it, they probably shouldn't even do it right away way anyway because we need to teach consent to our infants. It's gotten me thinking about the last several decades of horrible expert parenting advice and I think we should probably ask ourselves, are the experts really worth listening to at this point? A few days ago I was sitting on an airplane coming home from a very quick day trip to Nashville and I start scrolling through social media to see that the New York Post had shared perhaps the most insane parenting advice, if you could even begin to call it that, that I've ever seen in my entire life. Here's the headline for you from the New York Post. Parents Should Ask for Baby's Consent. Our Baby's Consent before changing their diapers According to the parenting experts out there in the world now, instantly I just was taken aback. I was aghast to be honest with you. You guys know I have an almost seven month old right now. I change a lot of diapers every single day. And if I've learned anything about the changing of diapers, usually it's just about last thing that your baby actually wants to do in their day in, day out schedule of the entire experience. Literally like babies immediately when you bring them home and they have no idea what's going on and they're out of the womb for the first time. Freak out when you are taking clothes on and off of them, you're trying to wipe things, you're trying to throw things away. Like it's just too much going on. And now that my daughter has mastered the rolling process and we are very rapidly approaching the crawling era, which I'M totally not prepared for when it comes to baby proofing my house. For the record, I cannot imagine a more stressful experience than changing my baby's diaper. Like, truly, it is the craziest thing that we do every day. Legs are everywhere, kicking, just hands everywhere. It's insane. It is true chaos at any given time of the day. She needs it though, right? Because I, as a good mom, I'm not going to let my baby sit there in her own filth for hours and hours and hours and hours and get a rash and skin irritation and and UTIs and God knows what else because she just didn't want her diaper changed at that particular moment in time. So I start reading through this article, trying to give the benefit of the doubt to whatever these experts might have ended up saying about why we need to ask for our babies consent in changing their diapers. And it turns out this is from a larger study that was conducted by childhood development researchers in Australia. Here's what this article starts with with It's a move that might stink to some parents, no pun intended, but there is a new age way to change newborns. Undies. Yeah, when I see new age parenting, immediately alarm bells start going off in my head. But they say drenched diapers, wet, dirty diapers are no longer messes that need to be ripped off of your baby's bottom post haste, according to new advice by these parenting experts, these researchers in Australia. Instead, instead of immediately changing your baby's dirty diaper because you don't want them to, I don't know, get a urinary tract infection that can turn into a blood infection that could kill them. These experts I'm going to keep doing the gigantic quotes around that are encouraging moms and dads to request their infants consent. You read that correctly before changing their diaper. This study literally has this quote in it at the start of a nappy change, ensure your child knows what is happening. Get down to their level and say you need a nappy change. And then pause so they can take it all in. But their offbeat directives for cleaning a cutie's patootie, a task that parents often rush to just get done, the researchers said. Don't end there. Then you are supposed to ask your child, once they've given you permission to take the pee and poop off of their body, do you want to walk or crawl with me to the changing table or would you like me to carry you? Is what you're supposed to ask your baby how you possibly know what your kid wants in that exact moment in time. Good luck with that. But they say that you should observe their facial expressions and body language to check if they understand what is happening. Look, I'm a first time mom if I've learned anything as a parent and I'm sure I'm gonna say this six or seven times in this episode to really hammer it home and make this loud and clear. The only thing I've learned about parenting expert advice is that there really is no such thing as a parenting exper at all. You feel like you're on the job every single day of your life. I feel like I'm still trying to learn new things about how to help be there for my child and nurture her and help her develop appropriately every single day. Long story short, I have no idea what I'm doing. I am learning every day and parents of kids much older than mine are saying that that is basically how it feels for your child's entire life, including when they are adults. You are always learning on the job. So I am never going to self proclaim myself or this show the expert parenting show or myself as a parenting expert, but are we seriously comfortable listening to the actual self proclaimed parenting experts to say that our children's body language and facial expressions as a newborn or infant should be able to tell us if they're okay, if they're consenting, if they're happy with the idea of changing their diaper? Not right away. God forbid you change it right away, but when you know they're like emotionally ready for it. Really honestly, like what? What are we even doing? So this article obviously took me back. I was aghast, truly off my rocker. I recorded like a six second video of myself reacting to it while I'm sitting on this airplane and using crappy weight plain wi fi. I ended up posting this on Instagram, which has now racked up a whole bunch of views and a lot of input. Input from people, especially current parents, who had the funniest things to say about all of this. Amy Maine said my kid would have a constant rash if I was asking to change her diaper all the time. She turns into Nacho Libre every single time I try to change her life with Laura says let me go ask my 6 month old, I'll be right back. And so many people in the comments are saying yeah, experts my ass. You clearly are not parents or you're like literally delusional if this is the type of stuff that you are genuinely suggesting to actual parents doing this in the three dimensional world not the abstract inner workings of our minds, the inner machinations of our minds. So this got me thinking about some other expert parenting advice I've come across over the years that at the time before I had kids, seemed totally wild and out of the blue to me. But now as a mom, I'm rereading these stories and I consider all of them to be certifiably insane. Key takeaway, I guess, is that there is no such thing as a true parenting expert. And if someone is self proclaiming themselves to you as such, you should probably sprint in the other direction. Back to the insane parenting advice of the experts in a moment. But first, a message from our friends at Instagram. One of the most common questions that I am getting from parents of kids of all ages right now is what we are going to do to keep teenagers safe on social media as they navigate all of the important content that is out there. The truth is, protection of teenagers online as they navigate social media is something that we all as parents can stay ahead of together. And and as a new mom myself, I feel that responsibility so much more deeply now. As my daughter Isla grows up, I want to feel empowered to make sure that she is being safe and responsible when she is online. Last year, Instagram became one of the first platforms ever to truly take this very seriously by launching what they call teen accounts. These accounts automatically limit who can contact our kids and what type of content they are ever exposed to in the first place. They designed this reimagined experience with parents hearts in mind to support you and to bring more peace of mind. Nearly 95% of parents say that these new default protections have helped keep their teens so much safer online. And that means everything. Setting thoughtful digital boundaries is not about fear or fear mongering. It's about showing your teens that their safety and their innocence matter so deeply to you. When parents like you and I safeguard the spaces that they explore, we are building a foundation of trust and that they deserve to know that they're growing up feeling secure, loved and protected. That's why I am so grateful that Instagram is taking these important, proactive steps in online safety. You can learn more about this incredibly important work ahead@instagram.com teen accounts. So let's read through some of this other advice because it's genuinely some of the most insane garbage I've ever seen. There is, of course, the classic rule of so called gentle parenting. I consider gentle parenting to be a scam in and of itself and maybe we'll do a whole extra episode of that, but here's one for you from the National Association. I want to make sure I'm reading this correctly. The national association for Child Development, literally, the self proclaimed so called experts, Bob Dohmen says this. You should never say no to your child, ever. One of the most common words he says that children hear is the word no. I have heard parents spew it out like bullets being fired from machine guns. What an odd thing to say at the same frequency and with what often sounds like similar intent. So the national association for Child Development is telling you every time you say no to your child, as a parent, you are basically using a machine gun to shoot bullets at your children. That's how severe the word no has become. How do you think that most children by the time they be 6 months or 16 years old define no as spoken by a parent? It could mean mom or dad saying, stop it for now, I don't like it. Or perhaps later. Or is that just the noise that they make when they're in a bad mood? The word no is defined for a child by the consequences that follow its use. They say never say no, never as a parent, unless you are going to physically stop the offending behavior or deliver a consequence. So I'm a new parent. My baby literally only says one word and that's mama. Sorry dad, but like I am really proud of that, that that happened this week. Pat on the back to myself, mama is the first word. Thank you, Lord. Have we been singing Mamma Mia. For months to get us ready for that? Of course we have. There's nothing wrong with a little parent indoctrination. Okay, I'm putting that out there. Uh, but if my daughter were to open her mouth and ask me tomorrow, hey mom, can I go sleep over at my boyfriend's house? I'm not supposed to say no. She's not doing an offending behavior. I'm not necessarily going to ground her for something like that. But I, I'm never supposed to say no if I don't know. My 14 year old daughter is asking, should I go spend the night at my boyfriend's house? What if my daughter asks, hey, Jack in my class has decided to become a drug dealer. Is it okay if I buy drugs from him? She's not actively engaging in offending behavior. It's a question. It's an interesting question, one I'm sure many parents have gotten in the past. And just to be clear, national association for Child Development. I'm never supposed to say no. What if your son, teenage boy, is like, hey, mom, can I log on to OnlyFans today and use your credit card to pay $50 a month subscriptions to watch legitimate pornography? I'm never supposed to say no unless I'm physically stopping my child's offending behavior or delivering a consequence. Interesting. Other therapists are taking this forward several steps. There's a therapist on TikTok who actually says you should never say no. Never, never, never, never say no, actually. Instead, the way to tell your child not to do something ironically is to tell them to do it more. Listen to this. And Doug. Here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds of with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you need@libertymutual.com Liberty Liberty, Liberty. Liberty Savings Fairy underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates excludes Massachusetts. People always say, don't say no to kids because that triggers them. So instead of saying no or stop, I'm gonna say, hey, do that four more times. Okay, now do it two more times. Do it three more times. One, two, three. Okay, now turn them off and leave them off. Okay. When I need it back on, I'll tell you. Okay. High five. So you're never supposed to say no. You're supposed to, like, wean them off of it. This is literally like the nicotine pat concept for your kids. Instead of just quitting cold turkey your bad behavior that you shouldn't be doing, don't ever say no. Say, okay, do it four more times. So do it more. Do it four more times. Do it two more times. Do it one more time, and then we can probably stop again. I return to my examples. Yeah, I'm not going to tell you no for wanting to spend the night at your boyfriend's house as a teenager. Just do it like four more times and then two more times and then maybe we can stop after that. Yeah, I don't love that you want to use my credit card to pay for an only fan subscription as my teenage son. But it's okay. We can do it for like four more months and then two more months and then maybe we'll, like, wean ourselves off of it. I really don't want you buying drugs from your classmate Jack, even though you asked so politely. But maybe you can just buy four more joints and then two more joints and then maybe you'll just, like, get it out of your system and you'll decide not to want to be a drug addict anymore. I mean, these people are certifiably insane and probably bad parents. Not that I'm a parent Shamer. Please don't hear me say that or not raising kids. I don't know who this Bob guy is who wrote this from the national association for Child Development, but the headline never say no to your child screams, I spend no time with children. And I have such an unhealthy relationship with children that I have no idea how to help them set appropriate boundaries to live a healthy, regulated, normal life. People are actually even taking this steps further. Not just that no is the worst word in human history and that we should never say no to our children, but there are other words and phrases we should never say no say to our kids beyond just the word no. 1 parenting coach, self described parenting coach on TikTok, says we shouldn't say good job to our toddlers when they do a good job. That's demeaning, apparently. Listen to this.
