The Jefferson Fisher Podcast — Episode Summary

Podcast: The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Episode: 3 Communication Habits to Change This Year
Date: January 6, 2026
Host: Jefferson Fisher (Civility Media)
Theme: Actionable strategies to improve communication for more meaningful conversations.

Episode Overview

In this special “Ask Me Anything” episode, Jefferson Fisher kicks off 2026 sharing his top three communication habits to focus on this year, based on listener questions. Broadcasting from his truck as a nod to his podcast’s origins, Jefferson responds directly to real-world communication challenges, ranging from healing estrangement to establishing confidence at work, and ending with a powerful habit for deeper personal connections. Each segment is rooted in actionable steps designed to make your next conversation transformative.

1. Healing Estranged Relationships

[09:40 - 28:00]

Listener Question: Mark from Virginia

Mark asks: How do you reopen a completely closed door with an estranged loved one—specifically, his daughter—with whom he hasn't spoken in two years, and do so without pushing them further away or reopening wounds?

Jefferson’s Response:

• Recognizes Pain and Validates Emotions:

  • “Mark, that is really hard. So I just want to give you a big hug. If you can relate… put ‘thinking of you Mark’ in the comments.” (12:30)

• Step 1: Choose a Medium with Emotion

  • Best: Voice message (audio text) – lets them hear your emotion but gives them space.
  • Avoid: Text only, email, or mediums lacking emotional nuance.

• Step 2: Outline Your Message (“The 3-Part System”):

  1. Begin with “I know...”
     • Acknowledge shared reality in neutral, non-blaming terms.
     • Example: “I know there’s a lot of distance between us right now. I know I’ve said things I regret.” (17:40)
  2. Follow with “I’m not...”
     • Disarm potential defensiveness by clarifying intent:
     • Example: “I’m not asking for an apology. I’m not trying to change your mind.” (21:24)
  3. End with “I’m willing...”
     • Shift focus to listening, not talking.
     • Example: “I’m willing to listen whenever you’re ready.” (22:16)

  Memorable Quote:
  “Nobody wants to hear you talk. It's ‘I'm willing to listen when you’re ready.’” (22:16)

• Why Keep it Short?

  • Less to misinterpret.
  • Reduces risk of triggering further pain or misunderstanding.

• If Conversation Isn’t Possible:

  • “If you can't have the conversation, you need to live out the conversation. Some conversations you’re not going to be able to have… you can only live them out, meaning they have to see the change in you, in your actions, not just in your words.” (25:18)

2. Building Confidence in New Roles

[33:40 - 46:00]

Listener Question: Sarah from Chicago

Sarah is three months into a new role, hears rumors she’s not really qualified, and feels her confidence slipping. She asks whether to address it, ignore it, or tackle it differently.

Jefferson’s Advice:

• Acknowledge the Reality

  • “You are inexperienced in it right now. Qualifications are different… When it comes down to it, resume matters very little compared to how you present yourself…” (36:00)

• Options:

  • Get defensive, try to find culprits—leads to isolation and negativity
  • OR
  • Embrace it, own the inexperience, and turn it into enthusiasm

• How to Respond with Confidence:

  • “If somebody says you’re not experienced? Say: ‘You're right, I am inexperienced in it—right now. But I’m excited to prove why I’m the right person for this job.’”
  • Flip the narrative from insecurity to excitement for learning and growth.

• Team Mentality:

  • “Don’t have that island mentality—have the team mentality. Because otherwise, you’re going to isolate yourself…” (41:46)

• Memorable Quote:

  • “Confident people accept criticism. They take it, and then they use it to look more confident.” (43:58)

3. The Communication Habit: Presence Over Devices

[56:45 - 01:07:45]

Listener Question: Alex from Portland

What is the single most impactful communication habit for the new year, and how can someone start practicing it right away?

Jefferson’s Recommendation:

• Habit: Limit where and when you use your phone at home

  “When we come into the house, we say that we put our phones on home mode… our phones go in this place… and when we walk into the living room with the family and the kids, they are not with us… That right there is the communication habit that you need to pull out.” (57:40)

• Why?

  • Reduces distraction; increases present and meaningful conversation.
  • Prevents “blue screen” barrier between partners, family, and friends.

• Practical Steps:

  • Designate phone-free zones (e.g., living room, dining table, bedroom)
  • “Bought a real alarm clock… I’ve never slept better. Our conversations at the house are better…” (59:41)

• Advice for Those Living Alone:

  • Monitor and curb phone time, engage in reading or real (not digital) conversations.

• Memorable Quote:

  • “If it’s in the room with you, you’re going to want to pick it up. Find a place that you cannot see it. The benefits are huge. I’ve never slept better.” (01:01:30)

Highlighted Quotes & Moments

• On Ownership in Conflict:

  “You start with what you both agree on. Don’t go in for subjectivity, jabs, or slights—just acknowledge the reality you both feel.” (17:40)

• On Workplace Confidence:

  “You can’t disagree they think you’re inexperienced—but you can make it clear you’re excited to prove them wrong.” (38:38)

• On Digital Presence:

  “Conversation is the connection. The phone is the disconnection.” (58:35)

Notable Timestamps

• [09:40] — Introduction to Mark’s estrangement question
• [17:40] — The “I know/I’m not/I’m willing” framework for reconnection
• [25:18] — Living out conversations through action
• [33:40] — Sarah’s workplace situation
• [38:38] — Owning inexperience with confidence
• [56:45] — Alex’s question about the #1 communication habit
• [57:40] — Implementing “home mode” for your phone
• [59:41] — Non-phone strategies for connection

Summary Table: 3 Communication Habits

| Situation | Habit/Strategy | Key Phrase | |------------------------|--------------------------------------------|----------------------------| | Estrangement | “I know / I’m not / I’m willing” framework | “I’m willing to listen…” | | Confidence at work | Own your inexperience; turn it to excitement| “I agree, I’m inexperienced—right now!” | | Building real connection | Limit device presence in key spaces | “Phones on home mode” |

Final Takeaway

Jefferson reiterates that focusing on how we show up—repairing relationships, building confidence through ownership, and being truly present—can have a transformative impact on our communication and relationships in the new year. The actionable frameworks and habits outlined in this episode are offered with encouragement, warmth, and a reminder that even small changes can make your next conversation “the one that changes everything.”