How My Parents Raised an Expert Communicator

Summary

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast: How My Parents Raised an Expert Communicator

In the episode titled "How My Parents Raised an Expert Communicator," hosted by Jefferson Fisher of Civility Media, Jefferson invites his most influential guests yet—his parents, Sherilyn and David Fisher. Released on February 25, 2025, this heartfelt and insightful episode delves into the foundational principles and practical strategies that Jefferson's parents employed to cultivate his exceptional communication skills. Through candid conversations, the episode offers valuable lessons for parents and individuals aspiring to enhance their interpersonal interactions.

1. Foundational Principles Before Parenting

Jefferson begins the episode by posing a crucial question to his parents about their main themes, thoughts, hopes, and prayers before having children. Sherilyn Fisher passionately shares, “I've always wanted my children to love the Lord and to be respectful and kind” (02:44). She further reveals a personal prayer for Jefferson's charisma, which she believes has been abundantly blessed:

“That God would give you charisma. And I feel like he answered that in spades for you.” – Sherilyn Fisher (02:43)

David Fisher echoes the importance of intentional blessings:

“I pray so, dear God, give Jefferson wisdom and always be his friend.” – David Fisher (07:11)

2. Early Communication Skills and Charisma

From a young age, Jefferson exhibited remarkable communication abilities. Sherilyn recalls his early verbal milestones:

“He was born talking... By 15 months, you were saying sentences.” – Sherilyn Fisher (04:25)

Jefferson reflects on his natural charisma and warmth, attributes he attributes to both his parents:

“You are always very caring, like, to listen to them.” – Jefferson Fisher (03:48)

3. Transition to Big Brother and Mediation Skills

As the oldest of four, Jefferson seamlessly transitioned into the role of a protector and mediator for his younger siblings. Sherilyn highlights his inherent kindness and responsibility:

“You were always very kind, very protective of them.” – Sherilyn Fisher (09:58)

Jefferson adds how this role nurtured his ability to mediate conflicts, a skill integral to his communication prowess:

“I found myself a lot of times in the role as the mediator very early on.” – Jefferson Fisher (36:00)

4. Teaching Kindness and Respect

A cornerstone of their parenting was fostering an environment of kindness and mutual respect. Sherilyn emphasizes a zero-tolerance policy for unkindness:

“I wouldn't let you name call or any of that. I would say, no, you are going to be sweet to each other.” – Sherilyn Fisher (12:03)

David underscores the importance of respectful communication:

“I think that plays a big role in how long the argument lasts because if you just... you apologize.” – David Fisher (16:23)

5. Conflict Resolution and Apology Culture

Jefferson and his parents discuss the family's approach to handling conflicts privately to avoid placing emotional burdens on the children. David reflects on modeling healthy conflict resolution:

“You both agreed we're not going to have that kind of argument in front of the children... They need to see mom and daddy holding hands... to know that you can argue and still love each other.” – David Fisher (16:36)

Sherilyn adds that swift apologies were crucial:

“You just need to tell... 'I'm sorry I was wrong.'” – Sherilyn Fisher (21:09)

Jefferson agrees, highlighting the importance of admitting mistakes:

“It's admitting when you're wrong... That's where the insecure people can't say, I'm sorry and I was wrong.” – Jefferson Fisher (22:04)

6. Discipline and Consistency

The Fisher parents maintained consistent discipline strategies to teach boundaries without breaking their children's spirits. Sherilyn recounts Jefferson's strong will as a child and the consistent yet compassionate discipline employed:

“You had a zero tolerance for unkindness... and to defend each other and to be kind to one another.” – David Fisher (32:02)

Jefferson shares his childhood experiences of being disciplined consistently, which fostered his respect and adherence to family values:

“You were a very strong-willed child... You wanted to please us.” – Jefferson Fisher (33:38)

7. Emotional Intelligence and Empathy

Emotional intelligence was another pillar of Jefferson's upbringing. Sherilyn notes his ability to read and respond to others' emotions effectively:

“You were always confident... very kind and caring.” – Sherilyn Fisher (37:36)

Jefferson connects this to his professional life, emphasizing how emotional intelligence enhances communication:

“Some of the most excellent communicators are those that can have high emotional intelligence and can read emotions and others' faces.” – Jefferson Fisher (38:55)

8. Modern Communication and Social Media Presence

Transitioning to the impact of modern communication platforms, Jefferson discusses his rise on social media. His parents express pride and understanding of his natural communication skills aligning with today's digital landscape:

“Your followers have just increased exponentially. But you being a good communicator does not surprise me.” – Sherilyn Fisher (23:02)

David adds enthusiasm for the positive influence Jefferson has achieved:

“Good see, and it took off much farther than you ever anticipated.” – David Fisher (25:15)

9. Balancing Assertiveness with Kindness

The conversation shifts to balancing assertiveness with kindness—a trait Jefferson exhibits both as a child and as a parent. His parents recount how they encouraged him to express himself respectfully while maintaining kindness:

“He was always very assertive... with a cheerful disposition.” – David Fisher (31:07)

Sherilyn emphasizes teaching children to value others and communicate respectfully:

“Don't allow your children to name call each other... It teaches them not to use verbal abuse as a weapon.” – Sherilyn Fisher (42:10)

10. Expressing Love and Building Confidence

Central to the Fisher family's communication philosophy is the consistent expression of love and pride. Both parents share how regular affirmations fortified Jefferson's confidence:

“You're proud of me.” – David Fisher (45:38)

Jefferson reflects on the lasting impact of these affirmations on his ability to connect with his own children:

“I try to talk to my kids and to get their attention to look me in the eye and just say something that you feel is significant.” – Jefferson Fisher (45:35)

11. Creating a Safe Communication Space

The episode concludes with a focus on creating a safe and nurturing environment for open communication. Sherilyn and David stress the importance of making children feel loved and secure to foster honest dialogue:

“If the child feels love, then to me, it's a safe space for them to be able to communicate anything to you.” – Sherilyn Fisher (46:39)

“They should feel safe to speak their mind. As long as it's respectful, then they should be able to say anything to you.” – Sherilyn Fisher (47:51)

Jefferson echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the role of parents as accessible and loving confidants:

“I want to be that. I don't want to be where they're trying to hide it from dad, her mom, and not do that.” – Jefferson Fisher (48:15)

Final Reflections

Jefferson closes the episode with heartfelt gratitude towards his parents, acknowledging their profound influence on his communication skills and personal growth:

“I couldn't imagine ever having any other parents. So I want to let you both know I love you very, very much.” – Jefferson Fisher (49:30)

Sherilyn reciprocates the love and pride, reinforcing the core message of familial support and effective communication.

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This episode of The Jefferson Fisher Podcast serves as an inspiring blueprint for effective parenting and personal development. By sharing intimate family dynamics and timeless communication strategies, Jefferson and his parents provide listeners with actionable insights to enhance their own communication skills and foster meaningful relationships.

Transcript

[Jefferson Fisher]

Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher Podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything. If you enjoy learning tools to improve your communication, I'm going to ask you to please follow this podcast and if you would leave a review. My new book, the Next Conversation, is out to order. You can find the links there in the show notes as well as my school of communication and membership. Today I am. I cannot be any more excited to be speaking and bringing to you some people that mean the absolute world to me, where it all started. And that would be my parents. Hey, Mom.

[David Fisher]

Hello.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Hey, Mama. Hey, dad. How are you all? Awesome. I want to. Are you all comfortable? You're all good. So for anybody listening, this is the very first time I've ever had a guest. And so I want to make sure that my first guest that I ever had was going to be y'all and make sure that this was important to me and that y'all knew how much I loved y'all and how thankful I am for everything you've done for me. This is the very first time I've had guests, so we're just. Just going to make it work. That anybody listening, they know how my style is and they know that this is just a. A casual conversation. There's none of this that is pre done or set up. Y'all really don't have any idea what I was going to ask you. And mom, you look beautiful. I know you're worried about what y'all are going to wear. Y'all did. You did great.

[David Fisher]

I wore whatever she tells me.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah. Um, so I want to make sure we're. We're all good and comfortable. And so I have some. Have some questions. There's some that I. I pulled from people that follow my content that I put out on social media. And I. I also had some of my own. So I want to. Here's my. My plan for this is for anybody listening, we're going to talk a few things about Jefferson because I know there's some curiosity of how did this guy gets so weird about communication. And on this other end of making sure that we're giving very practical solutions and techniques of how y'all raised me and my siblings. I'm the oldest of four. For anybody that doesn't know how y'all kind of laid the strategy for how you wanted to be parents. So I'm going to ask at the outset is what was the main themes and thoughts and hopes and prayers before you had children? Before you had made anybody out there that is hoping to have children. They have very new kids. What were some of the things that was very important to. To y'all?

[David Fisher]

Sherlyn, you go with that one?

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. Does my mama. Sherrilyn.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Sherilyn.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, Sherilyn. I've always called her mama, so she.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah, he always calls me mama.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Well, of course, you always want your children to love the Lord and to be respectful and kind and. But I do remember praying for you that. That God would give you charisma. And I feel like he answered that in spades for you.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. And what do you think it is about with charisma? How do you. How do you define that?

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Charisma to me is where somebody just. You're very likable and they like you. They don't even realize why they like you, but they just know they like you.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

That God would just give you favor wherever you went, and you always had lots of friends and.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

And your teachers loved you.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

So, you know, I feel like he answered that.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. I feel like it's a. The people that are charismatic or tend to be very warm.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yes.

[Jefferson Fisher]

It's just something about them that you.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

You're always very caring, like, to listen to them. Well, I feel like. I mean, you had. When. Until Sarah, my sister, was born, it was just me and you.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Really?

[Jefferson Fisher]

For. For four years.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Absolutely.

[Jefferson Fisher]

So how. I mean, that. That's a very pivotal time now that.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I spent a lot of time with you one on one.

[Jefferson Fisher]

How. How was that?

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You wore me out. You talk.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You talked 24, 7. From the time your eyes open to the time they closed. You talked to me all day long.

[David Fisher]

Yes. He was born talking.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yes. Yes. In fact, I remember when I put you and Mother's Day out, I had to fill out on their form. When did your child first start talking? And I put as long as I can remember. And because I was serious, I was like, when did he. It's meant as long as I can remember. Yes. Yeah, I'm sure about eight months you were saying one words. You know, and then, Bob, a year I had a whole list of 20 plus words you were saying. And by 15 months, you were saying sentences.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. And I remember a. A mirror in the. In the way the living room was set up. There was a mirror behind the couch.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

He drove me crazy. Yes.

[Jefferson Fisher]

And why. Why?

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Well, behind our couch was an entire mirror on the wall just to, you know, make your living room look larger. But it was your complete mirror. You would get on the Back of the couch, on your knees, make faces, talk to yourself.

[Jefferson Fisher]

And I never do that. I never talk to myself because I'm so glad I grew out of that.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Well, I mean, you would make faces. And so if I were fussing at you on the couch, instead of looking at me, you're looking at yourself in the mirror to see how pitiful you look while you're crying or answering me. It was hilarious. And finally I would say, david, you've got to take this mirror down.

[David Fisher]

Come home from work. I'd come home for work and she says, david, you got to get this mirror off this wall. It's driving me crazy. When he's crying, he looks in the mirror to see how much he can look pitiful. You got to get this. Got to get rid of it.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You were very drama.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Very drama.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You were.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Well, it was. I. I mean, for four years, it was just me, so I was.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah, no, it was cute. It was cute. But after a while I got irritated because when I wanted you looking at me, you were looking at yourself in the mirror behind me.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right. I'm with you, Dad. I want to make sure and ask. This is my dad. David, what did for you? I'm going to kind of post that same question. What were some of your goals before having kids and me coming into the world as a. Just for any. Not just because it was me, but because any child. You're now a father. What were some of the main themes?

[David Fisher]

I can't think of any goals that I had before, but I do remember specifically praying over you as. As a child, as an infant, before we go, you go to bed and would always, you know, would tell stories, and usually I'd put you in the story where you were the hero, you know, the prince Jefferson was kind of come save Queen Sherilyn from the dragon, you know, so you loved. Oh, you just giggle and laugh. You love those kind of stories. But the thing that I really remember and I believe has been a moving force in your life is I pray so, dear God, give Jefferson wisdom and always be his friend.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And that's how we ended prayers.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And he's done that.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And I believe that. I think it's so important for parents to bless their children, say good things over them, speak good things over them. Don't. I've seen other parents, you know, where they say, oh, you're a little monster, or you're a little meanie, or. No, no, just speak kindness over them. Speak encouraging words, things that build them up of what you want them to be. And. And I believe it happens. I really saw that in your life.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. And when. When I was. As long as I can remember, you've prayed that prayer. I mean, as long as I can remember. I truly credit it yalls prayers for how. How I've turned out. I've had a little bit to do with it, but for the most part, I mean, a lot of what y'all put me in positioned me. And so this is really for the parents that are. Are listening or people that are wanting to have kids or maybe you have nieces and nephews. It's matters when you have goals and themes and a focus of where your heart is and how it develops their character.

[David Fisher]

Yeah, I can remember my mother doing the same thing to me. Oh, David, you're so smart to know how to do that. And it really builds a child up when you do that. And we did the same thing with you, you know. Oh, you're so smart and you were so thoughtful. You speak kindness and you speak edifying words of your children and I believe they become that now if you tell the kid he's a horrible person or you're such a bad kid or. Yeah, you're always doing something wrong. Well, that's what they a lot of times become.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, they kind of absorb what they see.

[David Fisher]

If you're always absolutely.

[Jefferson Fisher]

If you're not.

[David Fisher]

Absolutely.

[Jefferson Fisher]

If you're not living up to what they have. Yeah. Now, I am also curious when I asked this mom, Mama, what do you. How did you see the dynamic between once. So I'm the oldest of four. There's Sarah, Jonathan Jacob. Once Sarah was born, Jonathan Jacob, you know, how did you see me being from, you know, a one child by myself to now kind of taking on this role as brother? And how did you feel like you saw that developed me and little things maybe you saw in communication. And the reason why is I'm asking is so that anybody listening can spot some things of like how they saw the oldest child versus the youngest child and how you saw some of those dynamics change in. In our house.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Well, when I was pregnant with Sarah, I just didn't want you to feel left out. And I remember telling you when I was pregnant, this is going to be your baby sister. She's going to be your baby sister. And you were so excited when she was born and very protective of her and very proud. I don't feel like you were ever jealous of her. And I feel like with each one you just kind of just enlarge your brother big brother role. You Were always very kind, very protective of them. And even with Sarah, she was kind of a late talker. Because you talked for her.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

She would point and you'd go, mama, she wants this.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. And then when Jonathan.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah, same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Jonathan, my younger brother Jonathan couldn't say his vowels very well, and so we.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Called him the vowel man.

[David Fisher]

The first consonant of every word. He dropped off.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

And that's. That was what he did. So I just kind of became that I loved. I still love being big brother. There's a theme that I. I pick up on, and I'm sure anybody who's listening senses this from you, Mama. And is just the kindness. I don't know a single person or human that does not like mama. And so you've always radiated kindness. Thank you. And yeah, of course. And I got to see a lot of that growing up because I can remember coming and saying that somebody had done something that made me upset. And I bring it to you to complain. And you'd say, well, were you kind? And I'd say, but, but, mom, you don't understand. They got it and you didn't. You wouldn't have any of it. You just say, well, I think you should be kind. I mean, that was. That was the whole outlook from that. So what. How do you see kindness and what does it mean to you? How do you. How do you like to put it out into the world? What's your secret?

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Oh, goodness, I don't know if there is a secret, but kindness matters. And I just. You always had such a sweetheart. You had a very sweetheart. I think you were naturally kind, but I wouldn't let y'all be rude and ugly to each other when y'all were fighting. I. I wouldn't let you name call or any of that. I would say, no, you are going to be sweet to each other.

[David Fisher]

Had a zero tolerance for unkindness.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Among the siblings. Yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. Well, I mean, you had a. I can remember there was. There was. It was very early on for people listening in the south, it's yes, ma'am, no, ma'am. That is a sign of respect and manners. And if you said it, he expected that to be it.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yes. Like, I didn't really like a lot of arguing. I just say all I need to hear is just ma'am.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, that's.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

That's all I want to hear is just me.

[Jefferson Fisher]

That's very true. I think I just got. I think I just had PTSD for a second hearing all that. Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Well, as if there's no sense in arguing about it.

[David Fisher]

You're talking about kindness in the role that you stepped into is. You took ownership.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yes.

[David Fisher]

You felt that they were. They really were your brothers and your sisters. You know, they'd call you and you. When you would create a Persona. Chef Baba.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And you loved. You loved. You asked, really, can we quit having babysitters? Can I babysit?

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You know, you took that ownership, and it was probably a lot of. Of pressure. A lot of kids aren't asked to do things like that. You seem to enjoy it and thrive with it, and it really made you mature. Yeah. Way, way early. You were kind of an old soul, even though you were a kid.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And you were, in a way, almost like a second father, because there was a little distance in time. But you. You did it because you enjoyed them.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And you poured yourself into them. You were talking a second ago about how your mother was kind, and so you were very defensive about that. And I remember the story where that boy came up to you in day school and said, you're mean. And you came up and you pushed him down.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You were only four.

[David Fisher]

You pushed him down and said, my mama is not mean.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

And I was like, Jefferson, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[David Fisher]

And so you just.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You were defensive for your parents, too.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, yeah. Very, very defensive. I mean, it's one thing for you to say something about your mama, but somebody else says something about your mama. Those are fighting. Those are fighting words.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. Every single time. I want to turn gears a little bit to specifically conflict and arguments. I remember in Yalls and growing up in our house, y'all really did not argue in front of us. I mean, there were just normal spats, but when it came to serious arguing, y'all did it in Yalls room. Because I can remember, like, keeping the kids away. Like, no, mom and dad are talking. Y'all go down the hall. Let's, you know, go entertain them for whatever. And then. Or if it was late at night, you know, after the kids go to bed. And I was older, so it wasn't like. It wasn't that big of a house. I mean, if y'all were talking seriously, you could hear voices. I didn't know what y'all were saying outside of when we were in the car. I mean, of course, if you're late. Late for church. Yeah. Everybody's just. Yeah, yeah.

[David Fisher]

Taking off on vacation.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, yeah. On vacation for sure.

[David Fisher]

Then.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Then you have to. Your argument. But I'm. I'm curious on Yalls take about for People who are just rethinking how they saw arguments happen in their life. I'm curious how you saw it with your parents and how that shaped, you know, how y'all did it with us specifically conflict.

[David Fisher]

Well, I know with my parents, they didn't argue in front of us very often. They did the same thing back in the, in the bedroom rule.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And I think that's a really good policy. And the truth is, because if you get into a heated argument in front of the kids, they almost always blame themselves. What did I do wrong? Yeah, what did I do wrong? Oh, I should have done something. And they internalize it. And so we really, we were friends for long before we got married, and we just, we both agreed we're not going to have that kind of argument in front of the children right now. It's important for them to know that you disagree sometimes.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

And we would disagree that a marriage.

[David Fisher]

Never has arguments because they need, they need to see, then after the argument, they need to see mom and daddy holding hands, mom and daddy hugging, mom and daddy kissing. To know that you can argue.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Mm.

[David Fisher]

And still love each other.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

That's right.

[David Fisher]

And that's just, that's just crucial. There's some people who keep the conflict so far away from the kids, the kids don't have any way to process it. And then there's some kids who they are in the middle of just horrible conflict.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And, and that's neither of those extremes are really healthy for kids.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, I, I, I totally agree. Because there's the flip side of you don't want to have zero conflict where you only have conflict in the bedroom.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Something's wrong.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Exactly. And so one thing y'all were so good at that I know I've applied to my marriage, is y'all were very quick to forgive. Y'all were very quick to say I'm sorry. And I, I think that plays a big role in how long the argument lasts because if you just, for people who withhold that apology, like, they, they use it almost as a punishment in a way when they're withholding that. But I, I absolutely agree that on the flip side, having knocked down drag out arguments is not healthy. At the same time, you want to see, you want the kids to see you come to resolution.

[David Fisher]

Right, Right.

[Jefferson Fisher]

But I've had that too, where it is my son thinks that he did something wrong when we're arguing. Or he'll say I'm. Or he'll mistake just banter and playful banter as argument, as conflict. And we kind of have to say, no, no, no, we're not. We're not arguing. Yeah. And so. And I think some kids are very perceptive of that, more sensitive to that. Like, my daughter could really care less what we're. But son is especially in tune with what we're talking about. I mean, and you remember. I won't. I'm not gonna say his name, but I was. I grew up with a friend who lived not too far down the street. And his parents argued in front of us, like, really did. And I remember looking like, is everything okay? And he just acted like nothing happened. I mean, just kept eating his cereal. I mean, never. Never looked up. Never yet. And I think so many people are now realizing in their own life how they handle conflict. You know, having. Having that struggle to apologize, having those hard times. They don't. They're now seeing that reflected of how they. They grew up. I'm so, I'm curious, mom, how. What did you. How did you grow up with conflict?

[Sherilyn Fisher]

No, my parents argued in front of us, and I didn't feel like that was a good thing.

[Jefferson Fisher]

So you. You saw the. The negative.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

It would escalate. And, you know, I saw the yelling. Knock down, drag outs.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

And it was not good. So I determined in my heart that I was never going to do that to my children.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

And so I wasn't a yeller. I really wasn't.

[Jefferson Fisher]

That's true. I can attest to that.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I really wasn't a yeller.

[David Fisher]

Very rarely.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Very rarely. But. But my level, because I maintained a really calm voice most of the time. Like, if I raised my voice because I was aggravated, let's say on a scale of 1 to 10, I raised it to a 4. Y'all would say, mama, you don't need to yell. And I would be very offended because in my mind, that was only a four.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Because I was like, no, no, no, you don't. You don't understand. I used to hear 15 at my house.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

So a little bit different.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah. I would be highly offended because I was like, this is not yelling. This is just raising my voice.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Because I'm aggravated. Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You said one other thing a little bit earlier. I think it's really important is the willingness and the. Not the only the willingness, but to do it to say I'm sorry.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

I was wrong. In front of your kids. Yes. Now, whether it's because I'll say that to my wife, I was wrong. I'm sorry. And. But to say it to your kids.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Because sometimes we can misjudge what they did or why they did it or, you know, maybe one. They're picking on each other, and one started it, and you jump to a conclusion too quickly, and it's important to be able to say, I'm sorry. I was. I was wrong.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right.

[David Fisher]

I was wrong. Will you forgive me?

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

I think it's really important for dads, especially, because I know people who say, my dad never said he was sorry.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And I just can't imagine that. I mean, I'm.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You know, we mess up regularly and just. You need to tell. Yeah, I'm sorry I was. I'm sorry I was wrong.

[Jefferson Fisher]

I think that's. That's a crucial point. It's not just to apologize. Not just to your kid. Here's. You apologize to your spouse.

[David Fisher]

But.

[Jefferson Fisher]

But also that they hear I am sorry.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Because you're not perfect either.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Exactly.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And that's not a sign of weakness.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

That's a sign of strength. In my. In my mind, that's. Yeah, I agree to say I'm. I'm secure enough about myself to admit that I was wrong.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

I can. What can we do to fix it?

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. Confidence is. Is not all about only saying it when you're right. It's. It's admitting when you're wrong. That's.

[David Fisher]

That's where the insecure people can't say, I'm sorry and I was wrong.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, that's. And that's very true. When you see now kind of where this whole thing is taken in my life, just the whole social media thing, I'm. I'm curious. This is. This is. Aside from communication advice for a second, because I get this question of, you know, what do your parents think? Usually what Sierra thinks was the family thing. What do you all think about all of this stuff? When I first told y'all, like, hey, I'm having some people follow me on social. On social media. And then you continue to see it grow. So, Mom, I'm. I'm curious how you've seen it from your end.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I think it's crazy how it's. It's.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Your followers have just increased exponentially.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

But you being a good communicator does not surprise me.

[David Fisher]

Right.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I guess just the social media aspect. I think your generation is more in tune with that and the Instagram and.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

All the other social formats. But no, it. As far as you communicating well, that did not surprise me. You have communicated well ever since you were 2 and 3 and 4. You've been an excellent Communicator.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

In fact, I remember and I guess because I talked to you all day long and like you said, it was the two of us.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You know, at home. I remember at church one day a friend of mine coming and saying, hey, Sherrilyn. I just asked Jefferson if, if he'd seen his mama and he said, she's in the auditorium. She goes, what? Three year old says auditorium?

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I said, I don't know. I guess that's the way we talk to him at home. But you were an excellent communicator.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. He always would say, yeah, that I talked a lot. And that was the thing. And I was quick witted. I think that was, that was the very pool from there. And I don't know who I got that from. Probably a combination of you both because I, I grew up seeing dad very diplomatic. That's the peacemaker. Everywhere he goes, he's definitely the. The peacemaker. Where we have other cousins and other family, they're not that way. They're much more bull in a china closet. I mean, they, they'll rip you one side and down the other. The dad's always been the diplomatic. And then you, I feel like, have always had a sense of just warmth. You're very loving personality. Like you're not rough at all. So you're very easy to talk to. And I think the combination of that led to a lot of my philosophies and how I began to communicate early on. Dad, what do you think about this social media stuff?

[David Fisher]

I think it's amazing. I think it's just wonderful. It's just a different generation of communicating. So I think God just put you in that niche just the right time. And it took off much farther than you ever anticipated.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Right?

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Good. See, and I know that created a lot of anxiety. I've seen a lot of that. Calm down. I think it's been a wonderful platform for you. And I can't tell you how many friends that I've had from high school, college and law school said, hey, man, was that Jefferson's? You know, that's your son. I said, that's got to be your son. I saw that video, you know, and it's. It looked like you're sounded like you're the kind of thing I know you would have said.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And it's been really neat. What's really neat is to see friends of mine on Facebook who will tag you and share one of your posts to one of their kids.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Oh, yeah.

[David Fisher]

And when it first started happening, I kind of Sent them a private message. I said, you know, that's my son.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Well, I wondered if it was or not.

[Jefferson Fisher]

That's funny.

[David Fisher]

It's been neat to have friends who have come across it. You know, people of my. Our generation. Our older generation.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

That's kind of the Facebook crowd. The Facebook crowds.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

The 50s through 80s.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right.

[David Fisher]

And. But in age. But it's been. It's been a neat experience. Yeah, it's been a neat experience. And what's. What's rewarding to me is that we've. We've done some things right.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You know, and. And to see the post and the comments from people, because it's given you an opportunity, really, to minister to a lot of people.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I've had friends tell me, oh, I use Jefferson's thing the other day, and, you know, they listen to your. One of your posts and they said, oh, telling that. It really helped me. It worked.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. Well, that's good.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I said, good. I'm glad it's helping.

[Jefferson Fisher]

That's good. There is a. There's so much of it, of people asking, how'd you get this way? Where you get all this stuff? And my. I always tell them, like, what I share is not something you read anywhere else. It's. It's a. Just part of my experience.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Exactly.

[Jefferson Fisher]

And y'all have seen. And. Well, I just wanted to make sure that we. We shared some things about communication advice, some things about me personally that people have just been curious about. And I'm just. I find that when I say it has to do a lot with my experience. Major part of that is, y'all.

[David Fisher]

Just.

[Jefferson Fisher]

My. My parents. If I'd been born to two different people, it would have been a totally different person.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You know, when you were speaking earlier, it brought to my mind that I. One other thing I did pray for. I pray, lord, just help this child have the best of both of us. I did. I pray for you to have the best of both of us.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

And so I feel like he gave you that.

[Jefferson Fisher]

I. I agree. I agree. And it's been such a cool experience. Like, I never thought we'd be doing a podcast and getting to interview my parents. That's cool. And the. The whole thing has just been.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Wild. Anybody who's followed me and listening knows how left field this has come for me. But that's kind of part of the authenticity of. There's never been a motive. There's never been a. I want to do this with this. So it's just been fun to enjoy it.

[David Fisher]

It's come a long way from the little I'm a lawyer ad.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Little discussion. Was that almost three years ago?

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. Right about.

[David Fisher]

And, boy, it's completely changed to something really, really productive.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. It really. It really is been fun to be part of. I mean, I can't believe it's happening.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Well, I'm very proud of you, and I just want to say that when people see your 32nd little post that you do.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

That is. That's really who you are. That is not an act. That is genuinely who you are.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

And we're so proud of you.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Thank you very much. I appreciate that. I want to take a second right now and tell you about a sponsor of this podcast, and they're called Cozy Earth. The reason why I said yes to Cozy Earth is because their sheets are on my bed right now. I've used them for months, if not years, and they're the best. My wife loves their pajamas. I love their hoodies and their sweatshirts. So if you want to be home and you're like me, you just want to be cozy and comfortable, you can go to cozyearth.com jefferson and use the code jefferson for 40% off. That's cozyearth.com Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off. So one major question that I see a lot of people asking is, how did you teach? I say me, but really all of us, all of my siblings, the balance between being assertive, meaning not being a wallflower, and getting stepped over, how do you also balance kindness? You want to not be rude to somebody, but at the same time, you want to be very direct. I'm curious if y'all had any mindset or tools for how you thought or how you gave me advice about that. Like, for example, dad, you would tell me if I came to complain about something, you'd say, don't make that your Alamo. That's what you'd say. You say, don't make that your Alamo. In other words, don't. Don't be that. Let that be the hill to die on. And there was this kind of sense of. So you know, that. I mean, the kind of the. When Jonathan was upset that mom was all in his business and he's in mom just. And you say so. I mean, there are just things about that. I'm just curious what the balance was like for y'all, what y'all saw.

[David Fisher]

You know, go first.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You go ahead.

[David Fisher]

I don't remember you having a problem with assertiveness. You were always very assertive. You were never timid and you did it with a cheerful disposition. So you had a very cheerful, assertive disposition as a child and you were rarely disrespectful. And because we had a zero tolerance for that, you quickly, quickly stopped. And so I don't remember us having to encourage you to be assertive. What I can remember doing is, is sitting down and explaining maybe how do you deal with disappointments or something. Didn't go well. Just don't worry about it.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right.

[David Fisher]

And be thankful. That was one thing y'all hated. You know, say, well, give me 10 things that you're thankful for.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And that's a good way with a child. And you know, start, well, I'm thankful for Daddy and mama.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You know, Sarah and Jonathan. No, no, not family members. What are some things you're thankful for? The downside was, is when I'd get upset, y'all would turn it on me. Said, Daddy, there's 10 things you're thankful for.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Turnabout was fair play. But y'all, y'all really were, y'all were sweet children. And.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And I give that to your mama because she, she demanded respect not only for herself and for the parents, but for y'all to respect each other.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And to defend each other and to be kind to one another. I don't remember y'all ever coming to blows.

[Jefferson Fisher]

You know, that was never in the question.

[David Fisher]

And you know, every now and then y'all wouldn't. Yanya. And. But she really did a good, good job of saying, that's enough.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. How did you see that, Mom? Maybe not with just assertiveness, but on top of how you. When, when we say zero tolerance policy, like what was your mindset of what you, how you would handle me or any of us when we said something that was disrespectful, which I'm sure was very few times. Mama.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I can just, I just remember saying, you're not going to talk to me like that. That's not acceptable to me.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You say, yes, ma'am, no, ma'am. And sometimes it's not only what you say, but the tone.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You know, and I'd say, you better watch your tone.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yes.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Would you like to say that again?

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yes.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

A little bit more respectfully.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, yeah. Mama would always say, let me tell you something.

[David Fisher]

Let me tell you something.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I say that a lot.

[David Fisher]

I can remember you being just in your little infant stroller.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You were a very strong willed child.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right.

[David Fisher]

Not in a mean way, but you were Very strong willed. And you'd go over and start, you know, knocking off the magazines and, and you know, even from a young child would, you know, just not hurting you, but spat your hand or say, no, don't do that.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And then you'd go back and you do it again and would have to discipline you then again and discipline you again and maybe do it four or five times in a row. And finally that fourth or fifth time you go up to it and look at it and look at us to see whether we're watching and we just look at you. And you'd pull the hand back and you'd scoot off and do something different.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah, Walker.

[David Fisher]

In your walker. I mean that's when you were those little bitty walkers. And so I think that we were, we were consistent.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yes, that's part of it right there.

[David Fisher]

And that's what's so hard for parents is, is they'll do it a couple times or say, well, I'm going to count to three. No, no, we don't do that. If I tell you to stop, stop. And if you don't, then there's a little bit of not being abusive in any way. But there's a repercussion. But you were a people pleaser in the sense that you wanted your parents to be happy to you. In fact, that's what you would say when you were a child if we would discipline you. You'd say, please be happy to me. Yeah, happy to me. And you want to be held. And so you wanted to please us. And so it hurt your heart to know any displeasure.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right.

[David Fisher]

And so it's. But it's important for children to know the boundaries and it's important to be consistent and it's so hard for a parent to stay consistent. Yeah, I do it a couple times. It's just warn you out you got. They're looking. Kids are looking for boundaries and they're always going to push them.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And you want them to do that. It means there's something. They've got a strong personality, which is good. Which is good. You just got to mold it.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right.

[David Fisher]

In a way that's helpful without breaking their spirit. And you can do it.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You're not gonna break their spirit by spat in their hand.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

You just know. Yeah. And it was big. Barely just like. No, no.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Oh, yeah. No, it was not like a. Yeah. It was not like a banking heart.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

It's amazing how smart children are. Yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Well, you, I mean you would always as I, I got to see, like we talked about being kind of a second dad with Sarah, Jonathan, Jacob, and, and seeing that I, I found myself a lot of times in the role as the mediator very early on with that to where a lot of the problems didn't. I kind of took it as like a thing of. I didn't want the problems to hit Yalls plate and not, and not. But not in a bad way. It became like a thing that I enjoyed. I also, I also know, I mean just being reflective and open with my personality and I can see that in my son. Like I'm very, I was very perceptive of emotions like how you were feeling. And so even now, like if I watch a movie and there's an awkward moment, like I can't take it if there's a conflict even in the movie, because I can feel it.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

And Jed has the same exact thing. And so I'm, I'm curious how you saw that transition with how I handled my emotions. And maybe there could be some nuggets in there of how we can teach some other people to recognize that in their kids and what like emotional intelligence means to you.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Well, I feel like you were always confident. You were confident and you were very kind and caring. And so if the siblings were fighting, you did want to mediate, you did want them to. Hey, hey, hey. What are y'all doing? You know, even without me telling you to do that, it's like I didn't expect you to be your mom. And I remember one time saying, jefferson, I'm the mama. Yeah, that did happen, you know, because I was like, no, no, no, I'm here, I'm the mama. So a lot of it you took on yourself.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yes.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

To do that. But they adored you. Yeah, they all just, they still do.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. We have a very close relationship with.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

They all do.

[Jefferson Fisher]

My siblings still. But yeah, that was definitely. I mean you were always there.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I was there.

[Jefferson Fisher]

You're always there.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

And if something you helped more than I wanted you to.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, that's no doubt. I'm sure. But yeah, I, I find that people who are really good at reading others emotions. I mean, and we could even talk about this in like the legal space too, as we're both attorneys as the. Some of the most excellent communicators are those that can have high emotional intelligence and can read emotions and others faces.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Just have that intuition and they, and.

[Jefferson Fisher]

They can know how to say things a certain way to produce a certain outcome based on what they know about those people's emotions. And so I've seen that even with Our son. And when he wants to, let's say, play a video game, which we do not allow until maybe a Saturday afternoon for like an hour. And the way he asks the. It's so funny. Like, every time he asked the question changes every week because he's, like, trying a different way to get in there. Now he's using his sister of. Using her is what she would want. And like, seeing if I would give more preference to her versus he's testing. Exactly.

[David Fisher]

I remember taking a Dairy Queen and he wanted to throw away a paper napkin.

[Jefferson Fisher]

That's my son. Yes. Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And he wanted to throw it away. I said, no, not now. We're still eating ice cream. Because it would make me very happy if I could go throw the piece of paper first. He said, first, my mama lets me.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Or my. My daddy lets me throw it away. I said, well, your mom and daddy aren't here. You're not going to do that. He says, well, next. He then went to. He'll make me very happy. Very happy Papa to do that. I said, well, I'm sorry, but we're not going to do that. He stopped and ate some more ice cream. And then he said, it makes me very sad. Yeah. So he was. He was. Yeah, he was trying to find.

[Jefferson Fisher]

He'll come at a different angle.

[David Fisher]

Trying to find that hole in the fence.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah. You did that too.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Just trying to find a way to. I think that that really developed a lot of my. How I come up with little phrases or metaphors or twists for things of how to say, like, I like wordsmithing. And so I think that helped. Developed that at a very early age of. Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You had a knack for memorizing scripts like in Disney movies and dialogues. Very, very gifted with that. And then knew how to use it.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And was. Was neat.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. That's kind of developed what we're. What we're doing now. Well, I want to make sure and leave people with. If there is any thoughts that you have as a parent. Not of a parent of Jefferson, just a parent of any child and what you find to be one of the biggest things that they can do to help give them confidence in how they communicate, maybe open them up. And we already talked about how it's great to apologize to them and let them see that. I think it's great that you encourage me to, like, not see problems as big as they needed to be. You know, you'd say, is that going to be your Alamo? Is that really going to be that important? And when you asked me that question, it was like, you know what? It's really not that important. But that became, I mean, I still remember it. So it became so ingrained in me of seeing what was important. So what, what are some lasting thoughts that you might have for parents that are wanting to make sure that they, they put their kids on the, the right path?

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Don't allow your children to name call each other. I think that's, that's detrimental to them in a way. I mean that's, I think it hurts them. I think that hurt if they just verbally let them abuse each other. Don't let your children do that to each other.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. Start. Even if they're brother and sister and.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Sister say, no, we're not going to be name calling. No, we're not doing that.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. I think it teaches them at an early age to use that as a, as a weapon.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yes.

[Jefferson Fisher]

And without understanding the very hurtful, you know. Sure.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

So. And if they remember it, you know, from years down the road, you just know to me, just don't let them do that to each other.

[David Fisher]

And to see value in other people.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yes.

[David Fisher]

Even if they, if they do something wrong, see value in them, there's something good about that person. And, and if you have, if they're having trouble with other kids at school instead of, even if it's a bully or somebody, tell me something good about them. And you try to speak to and encourage that positive aspect of that other person instead of just focusing on their negative qualities.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

But as far as building and influence in a child, I think the most important thing is just to hold them, just to touch them by the face and say, I want you to know I love you. And there's not a thing you could do in this world that would keep me from loving you. And that's important. They, you've got. The world is ugly and nasty and mean. And I think we saw our role as parents is to give you the biggest shield, the biggest suit of armor that you could possibly have so that you could walk out there knowing I'm, I'm loved, I'm protected and I always have a place and I always have people I can go to, to who will love me and build me up. No matter who's shooting at me, no matter what people are saying, I am loved. And when a child has that foundation, it, it just builds them up because they're going to get attacked out in the world. Sure. Even as a child or as they grow into maturity and if they don't have that foundation of knowing that they are loved by a parent like that, it's so much more difficult for them.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And so a lot of times, those are the ones who go looking for things, just trying to find love.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Right.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And that's where you see so much dysfunction.

[Jefferson Fisher]

I. I can second that because I can remember both of you, especially you, dad. You would always. Probably every day. I'm proud of you. I mean, you would made it a mission critical to say you were proud of me. Now I know being. Being a kid, you know, I'm looking all over the room. I'm being goofy. I mean, it's. I try to talk to my kids and to get their attention to look me in the eye and just say something that you feel is significant. Very difficult. Because they're just. They're everywhere. And I might say something sweet and they go, you know, why does a pelican have a big beak? You know, it's just. Did. Yeah. I even say it. And so. But I'm here to tell you that I did hear it and I remember it and that, you know, and I'll still do that. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[David Fisher]

You'll send text messages to all of my children.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

On occasion. Not every day, but, you know, every now and then. I love you, or I'm proud of you. Yeah, Son, I'm proud of you. You know, to the daughter, you know, sweetie.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And I think that's so important. But my father did that to me. That's one thing that my father did. He. He regularly said, I love you. I'm proud of you. And that is so validating for children.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah. And I think even for parents who. It did not have that role modeled, you know, growing up. I think there's a message here, too, of that they can change that.

[David Fisher]

Oh, yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

I mean, that's. Just because they had a. A rough upbringing does not mean that's the same upbringing that their kid is going to have.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Exactly.

[Jefferson Fisher]

And even if they didn't have that model for them and they didn't feel that it's. They. They can. They can set it right. I think it really just changes on the next generation.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Right.

[David Fisher]

And I'm sure we made mistakes. I know. I know we've made mistakes. And so. And so you do your best to try to do better than we did.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

You always want your children to do better than you did.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Learn and to grow.

[Jefferson Fisher]

For sure. And I think. I mean, now there's so many podcasts on parenting and accounts, wonderful accounts and experts on parenting and things you should say, not say what you do. I mean, and y'all just didn't have that. I mean, you just didn't have cell phones. That's what I mean. I mean, you just didn't, you didn't have nearly the. I mean, you can go to AI now and have like a whole plan, but I mean, you just didn't have that. So every generation is kind of trying to see what's going to be the.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Best y'all to know that you were loved. And yeah, I was very fictionate with y'all. I hugged.

[David Fisher]

Yes.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Oh, yeah.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

I hugged on y'all all the time. But to me, if the child feels love, then to me, it's a safe space for them to be able to communicate anything to you.

[David Fisher]

Right.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

They should feel safe to. To speak their mind. As long as it's respectful. Then they should be able to say anything to you.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yes. No, I, that was one thing that I always felt very vulnerable or I could be very vulnerable with you. I could say just about anything. And I talk about being a safe space in communication for your kids and that. That is saying thank you for coming to me with this.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Instead of just getting so upset to where they don't want to come back and say things.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yeah.

[Jefferson Fisher]

I can't imagine ever in a world where I am not my child's go to for when things go wrong. You don't. You want to be that. You don't want to be where they're trying to hide it from dad, her mom, and not do that. So it makes a big difference.

[David Fisher]

And have fun.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

Enjoy it. And one of my. I'll just keep getting this middle image of your mom and I were in our bedroom. You were very small. And all sudden we looked over and saw these little fingers underneath the door. So it was you outside. And so I said, who's there?

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah.

[David Fisher]

And you go, he's Jefferson. I said, jefferson who? Jefferson Fisher. I said, what do you do? Jefferson Fisher? You go.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

There was a pause. Pause, like 10 seconds, pause.

[David Fisher]

I play.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Probably like two and a.

[David Fisher]

Half and started laughing and started laughing and thought, you know, what a, what a special time that was is, you know, you just wanted to play.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Right.

[David Fisher]

And. And you wanted your parents to know where you were and checking on us with your fingers and. Yeah, it was a joy. You were a joyful child and you're joyful.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Yes.

[David Fisher]

30 something year old guy.

[Jefferson Fisher]

Yeah, I still do for sure. I. I could not be any more grateful that I wanted on the record that I could not be any more grateful that y'all are my parents and that y'all have influenced my life. Life forever and beyond. And I couldn't imagine ever having any other parents. So I want to let you both know I love you very, very much. And thank you for praying over me. Thank you for praying over me and. And just being who you are and a joy to anybody who gets to know you. So I love y'all.

[Sherilyn Fisher]

Thank you. Love you, too. Love you, too.