The Jefferson Fisher Podcast: How Your Inner Circle Shapes Your Communication

Episode Overview

In the episode titled "How Your Inner Circle Shapes Your Communication," released on May 6, 2025, Jefferson Fisher delves into the profound impact that the people surrounding us have on our communication styles. Hosted by Civility Media, this episode emphasizes the importance of self-auditing one's social circle to enhance communication skills, break generational communication patterns, and foster positive interactions for personal and communal growth.

Introduction: The Power of Your Inner Circle

Jefferson opens the episode by highlighting the fundamental truth that "who you're around is how you'll sound" (00:00). He sets the stage for a comprehensive self-audit, encouraging listeners to examine the influences shaping their communication. The mission is clear: to empower listeners to make their next conversation transformative by consciously shaping their inner circles.

1. Understanding Familial Influences on Communication

Jefferson begins by exploring how our parents and family members fundamentally shape the way we communicate. He shares a personal anecdote about inheriting his father's mannerisms and communication style, stating, "how I communicate, how I sound a lot like my dad" (09:15). This genetic and environmental influence often persists into adulthood, regardless of one’s desire to change.

• Genetic and Behavioral Inheritance: Jefferson notes that children often emulate their parents' speech patterns and attitudes, which become deeply ingrained over time.

• Mindset Transmission: He recalls his father's consistent use of phrases like "we'll see," which conveyed a hopeful and non-reactive attitude towards challenges (10:45). This mindset subtly discouraged confrontation and fostered a sense of resilience.

2. The Role of Environment and Workplace in Shaping Communication

Transitioning from familial influences, Jefferson emphasizes the significant role that our professional environments play in molding how we communicate. He provides examples of how different careers necessitate distinct vocabularies and communication styles.

• Professional Vernacular: For instance, attorneys develop a more formal and precise language, while individuals in sales or HR adopt jargon specific to their fields (12:30).

• Environmental Adaptation: Jefferson shares a story about his grandfather, a district attorney, who adopted a habit of cursing due to the courthouse environment. Interestingly, he reverted to his original speech once he left that setting, illustrating the temporary nature of some environmental influences (14:20).

3. Conducting a Communication Audit

Jefferson introduces a practical approach for listeners to assess and improve their communication by conducting a self-audit. He outlines a three-step process:

Step 1: Identify Influences

Jefferson urges listeners to reflect on who they spend the majority of their time with. He suggests creating a mental or physical pie chart to visualize the distribution of their social interactions, whether it's with family, coworkers, or solitary activities (16:00).

• Question to Ponder: "Who am I around most of the day?"

Step 2: Focus on Positive Influencers

The next step is to identify individuals who positively impact one’s communication. Jefferson advises thinking about people who "put a smile on your face" and who communicate with kindness and positivity (18:45).

• Positive Reinforcement: Surrounding oneself with optimistic and growth-oriented individuals can elevate one's own communication standards.

• Avoiding Negative Influences: He highlights the detrimental effects of "Negative Nancy's"—individuals who always see the glass as half empty and bring down the mood of their surroundings (20:10).

Step 3: Choose Words That Serve Growth

The final step emphasizes the importance of adopting a positive and empowering vocabulary. Jefferson encourages listeners to replace phrases that undermine confidence with those that build it.

• Empowering Language: Instead of saying "I guess," opt for "I am confident that" to instill a sense of authority and assurance in conversations (22:30).

• Positive Phrasing: Utilize words like "fulfilling," "confidence," and "experience" to foster a more optimistic and forward-thinking communication style.

4. Practical Strategies for Enhancing Communication

Jefferson provides actionable strategies to implement the insights from the communication audit:

• Pruning Negative Influences: Actively seek to distance oneself from individuals who contribute negativity. This process involves evaluating relationships and making conscious choices to reduce interactions that do not support personal growth (25:00).

• Fertilizing with Positive Influences: Replace the negative influences with those who inspire and uplift. Surrounding oneself with growth-minded individuals can significantly enhance one’s communication and overall mindset (26:15).

• Elevating Vocabulary and Thought: While it's not about learning "fancy words," it's about choosing the right words that resonate with positivity and growth. This shift in language can lead to a more empowered and enlightened way of interacting with the world (28:00).

Notable Quotes

• “Who you're around is how you'll sound.” – Jefferson Fisher (00:00)

• “I get high on intellectual conversations or intelligent conversations.” – Jefferson Fisher, referencing a friend’s approach to communication (21:05)

• “Words that give authority to you, whether it's like words like direction.” – Jefferson Fisher (23:45)

Conclusion: Building a Positive Communication Ecosystem

Jefferson wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of being deliberate about the influences one allows into their life. By conducting a communication audit, embracing positive relationships, and adopting empowering language, listeners can transform their interactions and, consequently, their lives.

He encourages ongoing self-improvement and invites listeners to engage further through his book, "The Next Conversation," membership programs, and social media channels. Jefferson’s mission remains steadfast: to make every conversation a step towards positive transformation.

Key Takeaways

• Self-Audit is Crucial: Regularly assess who influences your communication to ensure it aligns with your personal growth objectives.

• Surround Yourself with Positivity: Choose to spend time with individuals who uplift and inspire you, fostering an environment conducive to effective and positive communication.

• Mind Your Language: Adopt empowering words and phrases that reflect confidence and promote a growth mindset.

• Continuous Improvement: Utilize resources like Jefferson’s book and membership programs to further develop communication skills and maintain a positive communication ecosystem.

By implementing these strategies, listeners can break free from negative communication patterns, enhance their interpersonal interactions, and cultivate a more positive and impactful presence in both personal and professional spheres.