The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Host: Civility Media
Episode: The Best Communication Advice of 2025
Date: December 30, 2025

Episode Overview

This special year-end episode gathers the top three communication strategies of 2025, distilled from listener feedback, messages, and reviews. Host Jefferson Fisher presents “the greatest hits” that made a real difference in people's relationships, workplace dynamics, and daily conversations. Aimed at equipping listeners with actionable, confidence-building tools, the episode champions concise, effective communication that can transform any conversation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Questions of Intent

(Starts at 05:00)

• Definition & Power:
  “Questions of intent” involve directly asking about the purpose or meaning behind a potentially hurtful, ambiguous, or passive-aggressive comment. Instead of assuming ill intent, you clarify by asking questions like, Did you mean to upset me? or What was your purpose in saying that?
• Why It Works:
  • Shifts the conversation from reactive to reflective.
  • Prevents you from personalizing ambiguous comments.
  • Offers the other person a chance to clarify or recognize their own behavior.
• Practical Examples:
  • In response to a belittling comment:
    “Did you mean for that to hurt my feelings?” (07:30)
  • For snarky emails or texts:
    “Did you mean for that to sound upset?” (11:00)
• Grace Through Questions:
  • Allows space for moments of grace and reduces the likelihood of escalation.
  • Especially effective in low-emotion mediums like texts and emails.
• Notable Quote:

  “When you say things like ‘Did you?’ it is taking the spotlight that was on you and reflecting it right back onto them… Did you intend for that to hurt me? Did you want that to upset me?” (07:10)

• Double-Down Response:
  If the person admits ill intent:

  “Thank you for showing me who you are.” (12:40)

2. The Power of the Pause (Remembering Your Breath)

(Starts at 20:50)

• Technique:
  Slowing down your responses, using a “physiological sigh” (two inhales through the nose, slow exhale through the nose) to regulate your nervous system and avoid rapid, emotionally driven replies.
• Benefits:
  • Maintains composure and control in heated conversations.
  • Signals confidence and thoughtfulness.
  • Shifts your role from being “in” the conversation to “observing” the conversation, increasing objectivity.
• Notable Quotes:

  “Let your breath be the first word that you say.” (21:35)
  “If somebody is trying to offend us… it resets the chessboard.” (23:28)

• Practical Application:
  • Before responding, take about 5–7 seconds and a breath, even say: “I need to think about my response.” (23:40)
• Analogy:
  • “As a piano note is ending its sustain, that's how long that breath needs to be.” (24:10)
• Boundary Metaphor:

  “Their words just fall to the ground… You are not in the habit of picking up garbage.” (25:00)

3. Saying Less

(Starts at 29:20)

• Problem:
  Many listeners struggle with over-explaining, often rooted in a past insecurity or desire to be believed.
• Core Advice:
  • “Instead of being a waterfall, be a well.” (31:25)
    • A waterfall overwhelms; a well gives exactly what is needed when asked.
  • Trust that if someone needs more information, they’ll ask.
• Guideline for Communication:
  • If you can't say it in three sentences, rethink it before you send that text or email. (34:05)
• Benefits:
  • Reduces misunderstandings and defensiveness.
  • Enhances credibility.
  • Boosts confidence and assertiveness.
• Notable Quotes:

  “Silence can never be misquoted.” (35:40)
  “The more words it takes to tell the truth, the more it sounds like a lie.” (37:20)

• Practical Test:
  • Challenge yourself to express your point in three sentences or less.

Memorable Moments & Listener Takeaways

Concise Recap Challenge

(38:05)

• Jefferson Fisher demonstrates the three principles in three concise sentences, modeling the advice in real time.

Personalization and Empathy

• The episode is infused with Jefferson speaking directly to the listener:

  “I really want to not only help you, I also want you to know I'm really proud of you... you're putting actual intention into the relationships and life that you want to build for yourself.” (03:05)

Closing Encouragement

• Encourages listeners to reflect on their own most challenging conversations and email him their experiences.
• Emphasizes the importance of tailoring communication techniques to fit your own life and stage.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:05] – Listener appreciation, intention in communication.
• [05:00] – Introduction of the “Greatest Hits” communication tools.
• [06:00] – Explanation and examples of questions of intent.
• [12:40] – “Thank you for showing me who you are.”
• [20:50] – The importance of breath and pausing.
• [23:28] – Using breath to control conversations; the “power move.”
• [24:10] – The “piano sustain” analogy for pause length.
• [25:00] – Setting boundaries: “don’t pick up garbage.”
• [29:20] – The challenge of over-explaining and why it happens.
• [31:25] – “Be a well, not a waterfall.”
• [34:05] – Three-sentence rule for emails/texts.
• [35:40] – The power of silence.
• [38:05] – Summing up the episode in three sentences.

Final Thoughts

Jefferson Fisher’s year-end wrap-up is an energizing, compassionate guide to confident, effective communication. He centers the advice on intentionality, self-regulation, and clarity. By practicing questions of intent, mastering the pause, and embracing the power of saying less, listeners are equipped to elevate their conversations—both big and small—in the year ahead.

Notable Quotes

• “Did you mean for that to hurt my feelings?” (07:30)
• “Let your breath be the first word that you say.” (21:35)
• “Silence can never be misquoted.” (35:40)
• “Instead of being a waterfall, be a well.” (31:25)
• “Thank you for showing me who you are.” (12:40)
• “The more words it takes to tell the truth, the more it kind of sounds like a lie.” (37:20)

For more practical communication advice, subscribe to the podcast, newsletter, or check out Jefferson Fisher’s book and communication school.