#2227 - Adrienne Iapalucci

Summary

The Joe Rogan Experience #2227 - Adrienne Iapalucci: A Detailed Summary

In Episode #2227 of The Joe Rogan Experience, Joe Rogan engages in a wide-ranging conversation with comedian Adrienne Iapalucci. The discussion delves into various societal, political, and personal topics, offering listeners a blend of humor, critique, and insightful observations. Below is a comprehensive summary of the key points, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps.

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1. Conspiracies and Celebrity Scandals

The conversation opens with Adrienne and Joe discussing high-profile scandals involving celebrities and political figures.

• Epstein and P. Diddy: Adrienne expresses skepticism about the connections between Jeffrey Epstein and other celebrities like P. Diddy, stating, “I feel like these pedophile rings have to cross points at, you know, at some point.”

  Notable Quote:

  Adrienne Iapalucci [02:19]: "I think you have to be a little gay because then he would just..."

• Clinton Involvement: They touch upon the alleged involvement of the Clintons with Epstein, with Joe questioning, “Do you think P. Diddy is in prison waiting for the Clintons to just kill him?”

2. Political Critiques and Kamala Harris

Adrienne offers critical viewpoints on current political figures, particularly Vice President Kamala Harris.

• Kamala Harris on Marijuana Legalization: Adrienne finds it contradictory that Kamala, given her prosecutorial record, is hesitant to discuss marijuana legalization. “She didn't want to talk about marijuana legalization, I thought was hilarious.”

  Notable Quote:

  Adrienne Iapalucci [06:19]: "You just have to have a purpose and have an identity... Universal Basic Income is a thing."

• Prison Labor and Universal Basic Income: They debate the ethics of prison labor, with Adrienne emphasizing the need for Universal Basic Income in an AI-driven future.

3. Homelessness and Mental Health

The duo delves into the issues surrounding homelessness and the mental health challenges faced by veterans.

• Veterans' Struggles: Adrienne highlights the lack of adequate support for veterans, stating, “A lot of them wind up killing themselves.”

  Notable Quote:

  Adrienne Iapalucci [75:05]: "If you don't send it on education, then you could just have these people have to turn to crime and put them in prisons, and that's how you'll get money."

• Mental Health Solutions: Joe mentions psychedelic therapies like ibogaine and psilocybin as potential aids for mental health, while Adrienne remains skeptical about their effectiveness without addressing underlying issues.

4. Private Prisons and Incarceration Rates

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the private prison industry and the United States' high incarceration rates.

• Private Prisons Expansion: Joe criticizes the proliferation of private prisons in the U.S., noting, “They're using people like batteries to generate money.”

  Notable Quote:

  Joe Rogan [40:59]: "When you allow people to profit off of people being locked up, what monster didn't see, you're gonna just have people lock more people up."

• Comparison with Other Countries: They compare U.S. incarceration rates with countries like Russia and England, highlighting the severity and profitability of the private prison system.

5. Diet, Nutrition, and Health

Adrienne and Joe explore various dietary choices, including veganism, the carnivore diet, and the impact of sugar on health.

• Vegan vs. Carnivore: Adrienne criticizes plant-based diets, advocating for traditional vegetarian options like Indian cuisine over processed fake meats. “If you can do it, like, if you can. If you want to eat healthy and have delicious food, Indian food's the way to go.”

  Notable Quote:

  Adrienne Iapalucci [50:07]: "If you want to eat healthy and have delicious food, Indian food's the way to go. 100."

• Sugar Addiction: They discuss the detrimental effects of excessive sugar consumption on health and mental well-being. Joe points out how sugar can lead to conditions like Candida and affect gut bacteria.

6. Automation, AI, and Economic Shifts

The conversation touches upon the looming impact of automation and AI on employment, suggesting a future need for Universal Basic Income.

• AI's Psychological Impact: Joe speculates on the psychological challenges people will face with Universal Basic Income, emphasizing the potential for societal unrest. “If Universal Basic Income is a thing, which I think it's going to have to be, it's going to be real weird psychologically for people to adjust to that.”

7. Environmental Topics and Bats

A lighter segment discusses the role of bats in controlling mosquito populations and environmental conservation efforts.

• Bat Emergence in Austin: Joe shares his fascination with the bat emergence phenomenon in Austin, explaining how bats help reduce mosquito populations.

  Notable Quote:

  Joe Rogan [124:18]: "They've been on this bridge forever. So to get them to go to a new spot, he's probably going to have to bring bats."

8. Historical Events and Brain Injuries

The duo delves into historical events like Pompeii and Mount St. Helens, alongside discussions on how traumatic brain injuries (e.g., Phineas Gage) and conditions like CTE affect individuals' personalities and behaviors.

• Phineas Gage Case Study: They recount the famous case of Phineas Gage, highlighting how severe brain injuries can drastically alter one's personality.

  Notable Quote:

  Joe Rogan [144:35]: "Phineas Gage... His personality changed dramatically."

• CTE in Athletes: Adrienne underscores the prevalence of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) among athletes, citing statistics that reveal alarmingly high rates in NFL players.

  Notable Quote:

  Adrienne Iapalucci [150:14]: "345 NFL players with CTE out of 376 studied. That's 91.7%."

9. Comedy, Personal Struggles, and Performances

Adrienne shares her experiences in the comedy scene, discussing challenges like audience reception and the pressures of performing.

• Comedy Specials and Audience Engagement: Adrienne recounts the difficulties of performing without prior audience familiarity, leading to discouraging experiences that nearly made her quit comedy.

  Notable Quote:

  Adrienne Iapalucci [155:08]: "The first two shows we did, I was like, the first one was okay, and the second one was so brutal because none of them knew who I were."

• Influence of Personal Background: She reflects on how her upbringing in the Bronx and encounters with family members involved in gambling and gangs have shaped her dark sense of humor.

10. Technology, Manufacturing, and Ethical Concerns

The discussion briefly touches on the manufacturing industry's reliance on countries like China and the ethical implications of production practices.

• Electronics Manufacturing: Joe criticizes the heavy dependence on China for electronics manufacturing, questioning the ethical aspects of the labor involved.

  Notable Quote:

  Joe Rogan [43:35]: "Apple, but it works just as good. It does not work as good. It's not great though."

11. Natural Disasters and Historical Practices

Adrienne and Joe explore natural disasters' impacts and historical human practices, such as communal hygiene methods in ancient civilizations.

• Pompeii and Mount St. Helens: They discuss the devastating effects of volcanic eruptions on ancient cities and modern landscapes, emphasizing humanity's vulnerability to such events.

• Communal Hygiene in Ancient Times: The conversation shifts to historical hygiene practices, like the communal sponge in Roman latrines, highlighting the stark differences from modern standards.

  Notable Quote:

  Joe Rogan [111:33]: "They had this weird offshoot Indian community... it was all Indian food. It was really good though."

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Conclusion

Episode #2227 of The Joe Rogan Experience with Adrienne Iapalucci offers a deep dive into various pressing issues, from political conspiracies and mental health to historical events and the ethics of modern industries. Adrienne's candid humor juxtaposed with Joe's probing questions creates a dynamic dialogue that challenges listeners to reflect on societal norms and personal beliefs.

Listeners new to the episode will find it a thought-provoking journey through complex topics, delivered with the trademark candidness and humor that defines The Joe Rogan Experience.

Transcript

[A]

Joe Rogan podcast.

[B]

Check it out.

[A]

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train my day. Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

It's pretty tight.

[B]

Is it tight, you mean?

[A]

No, no, it's like tight.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

I feel like they're gonna sue me for the shirt. I don't know.

[A]

Do you sell it?

[B]

I'm trying to.

[A]

I don't think they want to sue anybody. I think they want to keep it on the DL, especially you, because you could just go on podcast and talk about it.

[B]

Not if I'm dead. I could talk about till I'm dead.

[A]

Let's see if there. If they haven't killed. There's so many. If they haven't killed. Malice. If they haven't. There's so many people that they haven't killed.

[B]

I'd be a fun kill, though. They just come to the Bronx. It's like so easy to just kill me.

[A]

Right? Anybody gets killed in the Bronx. Happens all the time.

[B]

Nobody cares.

[A]

Yeah, probably.

[B]

They don't care.

[A]

Few people would be upset and then would go away.

[B]

Mom.

[A]

Like Epstein, that kind of went away.

[B]

It did go away.

[A]

The guy who tried to kill Trump kind of went away.

[B]

It did. Well, didn't that guy get shot, though?

[A]

Yeah, he's dead. Yeah, but now he's gone. Poof. Gone. No one talks about it.

[B]

Do you think P. Diddy is in prison waiting for the Clintons to just kill him? Do you think every day I'd be looking for them?

[A]

I don't think the Clintons were involved with P. Diddy, do you?

[B]

No, but Epstein were.

[A]

The Clinton. Was Epstein involved with P. Diddy?

[B]

No. I just feel like these pedophile rings have to cross points at, you know, at some point.

[A]

The P. Diddy thing sounds like just complete unchecked depravity. Like, I don't even think he was gay. He was just guys. But it might. Maybe he's gay, but it seems like.

[B]

I think you have to be a little gay because then he would just.

[A]

Oh, yeah, for sure. At least for like 10 minutes. I mean, it might just be whatever drugs are taken. Like, I don't understand it when that whole, like, I. I think I had peripherally heard that P. Diddy had big parties, but I never heard of freak offs or any. I never heard of that stuff until pretty recently. Like, post pandemic, I think. Jamie, when did you hear. First hear about, like, P. Diddy parties? My mic's off.

[B]

I mean, I would think that he. I've heard about him having big.

[A]

Your bike has to Be off because the. Carl's breathing pretty heavy still right now.

[C]

Keep it down.

[B]

Oh, my God, he's so cute.

[A]

He's adorable. Carl and Marshall, they. They go at it every time.

[C]

I don't know. I've heard of. I don't even know what rumors I would have heard. I just heard like, you know, but.

[A]

It was not crazy parties.

[C]

I didn't get nothing.

[A]

Yeah. It was never like in the zeitgeist. It was never.

[B]

It's just weird too, because he always had the white parties where you have to wear all white. And I just feel like that's the worst color for body fluid.

[A]

Ew. Yeah, right.

[B]

Just maybe that's how he kept track of who he. Who he. That person's already gotten it. That person. That person's already covered in disgusting stuff. That's where he get.

[A]

There's so many horrific accusations so involving young singers. Young, like children.

[B]

Yeah. It's disgusting.

[A]

He insane.

[B]

He makes R. Kelly look like a decent guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's so crazy.

[A]

It is crazy. And meanwhile, the guy was like, hanging out with Oprah, hanging out with Obama, Jay Z, everyone, everybody.

[B]

I'm sure the Clintons were there at some point.

[A]

Maybe Bill.

[B]

Bill is so nice.

[A]

I went one time. Was he.

[B]

He's so like when I met charming. He is. And he's actually still kind of good looking, like, even for an older D. Yeah, why not? He's still so good looking. And she's just so miserable.

[A]

Well, she's publicly humiliated and she thought that her big retribution would become president, you know? Become president, sure. And then that would be it. All water under the bridge. I'm a strong woman. I'm running this country. And America was like, nah.

[B]

I mean, it doesn't matter what color you are. America does not want a woman in charge.

[A]

Well, that's not exactly true because she won the popular vote.

[B]

She. I mean, not Kamala, though.

[A]

No, but Kamala was a terrible candidate. The difference between her and Hillary, night and day.

[B]

Well, Hillary had a lot of experience too. She's been doing this for a long time.

[A]

Sure. She was a secretary of state. And on top of that, she could answer questions.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Like, you could have a question with her about, like, what would we do differently if you were president about the Israel Gaza conflict.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

She would have something off the top of her head. What would you do differently than Joe Biden? She wouldn't say. I can't think of a thing. She would never say that.

[B]

No.

[A]

Kamala Harris is just not good.

[B]

She's definitely not good. At interviewing either.

[A]

No. I mean, I don't know if she's good at running things, because you'd have to be behind the scenes to see how that works. When it comes to, like, talking off the top of her head, what she's good at is a pretty rehearsed speech that she reads off a teleprompter.

[B]

Sure. But if someone asks you a rogue question, then you have to be ready to answer it.

[A]

Yeah. When rogue questions, like, you have to be able to say, what differentiates you from Biden? You have to. That's like a. That's pretty simple.

[B]

You're just like, well, I'm still alive.

[A]

Yeah, that too.

[B]

That would be funny if she said that. Right. That's what she should do if she could be funny people.

[A]

I can answer questions. I can look you in the eye.

[B]

Yeah, I remember what I'm talking about.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I was surprised she didn't come on the podcast a little bit, it seems like.

[A]

And this is all reports. These are all anecdotal reports. Right. But it seems like her campaign was kind of chaotic, like no one could make a decision. They had I don't know how many conversations with my folks.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But multiple conversations, giving different dates, different times, different this, different that. And we knew that she was going to be in Texas, so I said, open invitation.

[B]

Right. You said, you can come whenever you want, Anytime.

[A]

You pick a time, I will be here.

[B]

And you would have been the best person for her to talk to, because you're not going to attack her. You would just ask her questions. But that's the problem. I don't know if she'd be able to answer those questions.

[A]

I'll ask her a question, but I think they had requirements on things that she didn't want to talk about. She didn't want to talk about marijuana legalization, I thought was hilarious. Why, like, that's so. Because of her prosecuting record.

[B]

Oh, well, I mean, that is, like. That was her old job, though.

[A]

Yeah. And, you know, she put a lot of people in jail for weed. 1500, apparently.

[B]

It's not really that many, though. 1500.

[A]

Tell those guys those 1500 still in prison. No.

[B]

Oh, okay. And they're fine now. Well, prison really builds character. You go in there, you really figure out what kind of person you are.

[A]

I bet it does. Yeah. But when you are held past your release date to fight wildfires for the state, because Kamala Harris wants you to do that. Sure, With a swipe of my pen.

[B]

Right. You guys are. I mean, it's not like the worst idea.

[A]

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[B]

So just clean up the wildfires.

[A]

Well, you should probably pay people for all work.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You know, even prison, that's just free. I got a problem with all that. I mean, I have a problem with slave labor in prison because it's essentially mandated.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You have to. You have to have a job in some prisons.

[B]

But I mean, what else are you gonna do in prison?

[A]

Like if you're not read books, do push ups.

[B]

Okay, but at some point to do. If I'm going to want to do hair, I'm going to want to cook at some point. Like, you just do need a routine. Otherwise the time. How many books can you read every single day?

[A]

That's true. That's true. Yeah. How many yoga classes can you take?

[B]

You just need a schedule kind of just to like, I don't know. That just helps your day go by. Like, even if you hated it, you still need. Like when I was on unemployment for a period, I'm like, I'm actually very bored. You know what I mean? Like, you like it for a couple of days, but you need that routine to kind of like, I don't know, if I was in prison, I'd want a job.

[A]

This is my fear when it comes to automation. AI and then ultimately, I think everyone's going to have to have universal basic income. I think all countries are going to have to have it. I think United States is going to have to have it too. And people need a purpose. They need a thing, for sure. They need an identity. And a lot of people identify with whatever their job is. You know, they find they take pride in it. It means something to them to show up at work and have people say they do a great job and you're very valuable to the company and the customers. Like you and all that stuff is really good for people. It's good for self esteem, it's good for giving you a purpose. If Universal Basic Income is a thing, which I think it's going to have to be a thing, it's going to be real weird psychologically for people to adjust to that.

[B]

I think there'd probably be a lot of riots. Like, I don't know. What else would you do?

[A]

Just riot with government money?

[B]

Yeah. I was thinking Trump might not win and there was going to be a bunch of riots and I would be able to just get, like a free computer. Like, I was kind of hoping for that.

[A]

Well, you could buy a computer. Adrian, you're.

[B]

No, I want a successful comedian. Listen, a free computer is better than a computer you have to pay for.

[A]

Is it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you feel guilty at all.

[B]

No, if they're rioting, everything's for free. That's the rule.

[A]

That was the rule during George Floyd.

[B]

But that's what I'm saying. During Black Lives Matter, I lived by a CVS that was like, getting broken into all the time. I have, like, shampoo and conditioner for years.

[A]

Did you go in there?

[B]

Yeah, why not? I was in there when it was happening. I was like, get arrested how?

[A]

Don't say that. No, these are all jokes. Right?

[B]

Wink. They're all jokes. Listen, I was just supporting Black Lives Matter. And that's how you do it.

[A]

That's how you do it. You get shampoo for free.

[B]

Shampoo and conditioner, yeah.

[A]

The most racist thing I ever saw was a CVS that had everything locked up except sunscreen.

[B]

I mean, that's pretty much how it is in every cvs. And why people don't buy sunscreen. Because we want to be dark. So no one's. No one's stealing it or buying it.

[A]

Yeah. Good, good. Call the. Well, they do if they're worried about cancer. If you're one of those people, it puts it everywhere, all over your face. Meanwhile, you're putting toxic chemicals all over your face.

[B]

People do that and they're like, smoking cigarettes. It's like, what are you doing? Just get cancer.

[A]

Well, how was reading this thing where they were talking about that? See if you can find this. So what this person was saying was that people who spend less time in the sun are more likely to get deadly skin cancer.

[B]

Is it because your body's not used to it?

[A]

Yeah, you get cooked. You know, your body doesn't have any melanin, so you go out there and you get, like, fucking burnt to death. And Your body develops cancers, but also you're not. You don't have vitamin D. So vitamin D is like a critical hormone and it protects you from a lot of things. It's. It's crucial for your immune system. It's crucial for a lot of different functions.

[B]

It's also interesting because one time we were at the Cellar and Louis kept telling me that I needed vitamin D because I'm so white. And I was just like, vitamin? Is that a real thing? It just sounds like dick.

[A]

I was like, yeah, you need vitamin.

[B]

D. I was like, is that like a real thing?

[A]

You're so white, you need some vitamin.

[B]

D. So you need to get fucked by somebody that's gonna help you.

[A]

That's the only thing that's gonna help you.

[B]

It's the only thing that's gonna keep me alive.

[A]

Imagine if that was true. Imagine if, like, the only maintain health is to get.

[B]

I mean, it makes sense. People that are homeless are just like fingering themselves all the time. There must be something to it.

[A]

Mentally ill, sure.

[B]

But they also are like, I want to stay alive. I want to. I want to prolong this homelessness. Keep me alive as long as we can.

[A]

There's a book I read, Fingering Yourself for Health.

[B]

I mean, all of the homeless people on 6th street are just like fingering themselves constantly.

[A]

Yeah, there's a lot of that kind of activity.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With the homeless, I think they just give up on shame on everything. And they just.

[B]

I think you're out of your mind. You have to be out of your mind where you're like, who cares?

[A]

There's this poor lady on 6th Street. There's a gas station that I only go to if everything's gone totally wrong. And I need gas. For sure.

[B]

You just run out of it.

[A]

But you, like, you there, you get out of your car, you're ready to fight people. It's a sketchy gas station.

[B]

Oh, I guess.

[A]

And there's this poor lady who. Her head, instead of being like here, her head is like, it's like it's broken. Her neck is broken. And so her head is like down here. And she has to look at you like this. She can't lift her chin off of her sternum, literally down like this. And she's just a bag of bones, just barely alive.

[B]

Like, okay, obviously we're not going to help homeless people. Like, there's no money in helping poor people. Like, let's give them all fat and I'll clean up the streets. Do the kindest thing we can for them.

[A]

Odm yeah.

[B]

If I'm on the street for longer than a week, please kill me. It's not going well.

[A]

People have recovered. People have gotten their shit.

[B]

How many. I don't know how many CEOs were like, I was on the street for years and then I got some vitamin D, I turned.

[A]

Well, how many CEOs enjoy life? That's the real question. I. Just because something's difficult to do doesn't mean it's good to do. Right?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Like, some people think that becoming extremely wealthy and running a major corporation because it's difficult to do, that's something you should aspire to. But those guys all die young. They all have heart attacks, strokes.

[B]

Yeah, It's a very high stress position.

[A]

Insane. High stress. And the hours are insane. And you're probably fucking miserable. Other than time you're doing coke and banging strippers.

[B]

Right. I think I would like the rich part. And then I would just do something with, like, animals. Oh, yeah, I love animals.

[A]

Yeah, I know you do.

[B]

People forget, but, like.

[A]

Well, I brought Marshall just for you.

[B]

I mean, Marshall is so beautiful. Like, if I ever go bald, I told you, I want like a wig. I don't know how white women are now just wearing golden retrievers wigs. Because it's beautiful. His hair.

[A]

But it would stink when it gets wet.

[B]

I mean, everyone thinks white people smell anyway. You remember the first time you heard that black people thought white people smell like dogs. We love dogs.

[A]

I have never heard that.

[B]

Oh, yeah, really? They always think we smell like dogs. It's like, that's. Try hurting my feelings.

[A]

Well, I guess if you're around dogs, I think human beings smell if they don't wash. That's all it is. Like, I don't think there's a difference in the smell of black people and white people. And this is coming.

[B]

Maybe not.

[A]

Does jujitsu.

[B]

Sure. Maybe not.

[A]

I smell people like that close when their chest pressed up against my face. I've never noticed a difference in human odor.

[B]

All I know is black people think white people smell like dogs. Wet dogs. When we get wet.

[A]

Maybe that's just like a fun thing to say.

[B]

I think it's more than one black person saying it.

[A]

For real.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've never heard. Jamie, you ever heard that? No, Jamie. Never heard it.

[B]

Well, I hang out with saying it to you. Yeah.

[A]

Weird.

[B]

I'm like, that doesn't hurt my feelings. I love dogs.

[A]

Yeah, dogs are great.

[B]

They're amazing.

[A]

If you're gonna smell like an animal, I mean, that's not the worst One to smell like. Cats are kind of crazy because they never smell and they don't even take showers. They just clean themselves.

[B]

No, but if you get, like, one of those hairless ones, you have to, like, clean their nails and their skin and stuff.

[A]

The hairless ones are weird.

[B]

They are, but I like them.

[A]

Do white people really smell like wet dogs? Black people smell comes from hair follicles when they get wet. Hair follicles secrete an oil that spreads some. Spreads somewhat when wet, and a small amount of water gets. Okay. Interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's from Cora. It's hilarious. Sounds like a white, but that's hilarious. Go back up to that. Cora is one of those answer websites, right?

[B]

Oh, I thought Cora like a black lady.

[C]

Look at all the Reddit posts that are.

[A]

I understand the Reddit post, but here's my point. Cora is like one of those, like, you can ask it, like, how do you make a nuclear bomb?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Like that kind of stuff. And imagine if it said, do black people really smell like dogs?

[B]

What do black people smell like when they're wet?

[A]

I don't think they smell any different than anybody. But the point is, you could never have that question on a question web.

[B]

Web page.

[A]

You get no fucking chance. But you could have it about white people.

[B]

Could you ask it what Indian people smell like?

[A]

I don't think you should.

[B]

They would have a. But nobody cares about Indian people at all.

[A]

Indian people do.

[B]

Yeah, but you ever see what they're doing in India?

[A]

President, you're gonna have a real issue with this.

[B]

I don't even know who that is.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't know who Vivek is?

[B]

I try not to pay attention to what's going on.

[A]

Good for you.

[B]

I really don't know anything.

[A]

Good for you. That's so healthy.

[B]

I know, like, very little.

[A]

If you can exist like that, it's a good way to be. You know, there's plenty of people in this world that are paying attention.

[B]

I know I'm not one of them, though.

[A]

I don't have a problem with that. That's Ari Shavir, too. He doesn't know what.

[B]

Yeah. That's why we're good buddies.

[A]

Yeah. He has no idea what's happening.

[B]

He's.

[A]

I mean, you talked to him about laws being passed. Like, what? That's not real.

[B]

Yeah, Ari's the best. He's like, Ari's. But he's also so autistic, which is why, like, him even producing my special was so good because he's so, like, focused and he knows exactly what to do.

[A]

Very focused. Love stand up as an art form.

[B]

Love stand up. He's the best at, like, not killing seats for the show. He is the best person for that.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. He knows how important that is. Yeah. His special that he did was the. The juice special was so ridiculous because they had to keep those candles lit and so constantly light them.

[B]

I was there for it. I opened for it. It was so hot. And he taped it in June. It was so hot. I was on stage, I did like 15 minutes. I'm like, oh, it's really hot in here.

[A]

Well, it's a fire behind you.

[B]

I know.

[A]

You think about all those candles. How much fire is that? That's a lot of fire.

[B]

It's crazy. It was.

[A]

Did they have, like, fire extinguishers standing by in case some shit went sideways?

[B]

Probably. I'm sure there was some. Like, there might have been a fire marshal they had to hire just to make sure.

[A]

Probably.

[B]

But even if the whole place goes on fire, what's he going to do? He'd be like, well, there's a fire. Like, what is he going to do?

[A]

He's going to run away, Right?

[B]

So what is he going to do? I mean, you would need so many fire extinguishers.

[A]

No, they're little tiny fires. They're a bunch of little itty bitty fires. There's not like one major all consuming fire.

[B]

What if it gets a hold of like, the curtain?

[A]

Yeah. If you have fire extinguishers. How far back was the curtain from that? Was there a curtain at all?

[B]

I'm pretty sure it was a curtain. Yeah, it look. I mean, it looks beautiful though.

[A]

Yeah. It's not as easy to light things on fire as you'd think. And if fire marshals are standing by with a fire extinguisher, they put that out real quick. And that would actually be kind of funny. Yeah, they'd probably keep that on the show.

[B]

That'd be fun.

[A]

Candles on stage.

[B]

That'd be amazing.

[A]

Well, he was running that special forever for a long time. And then, you know, the whole Kobe thing happened and he stopped and then he came back.

[B]

What's crazy? I was with him in, I guess it was Charlotte when the whole Kobe thing happened and he was sick. I was like, oh, we were on the road. I was like, just go to sleep. And then I wake up and I'm like, what did you do? I was like, you're sick. You're supposed to go to sleep. And then I was like, oh, Ari. And then the funniest part is people are like, we're going to kick your ass if you're ever in North Carolina. And he's like, I'm there. They're like, all right, well, if you come to where I'm at, we're going to kick your ass.

[A]

Well, he was really into making fun of people when they died because everybody was, like, really kind to people when they die. And he was always like, fuck them. Some of them were really funny. The Kobe one was not. But some of them were really funny.

[B]

Sure. I also don't think he knew. Like, he didn't know, like, the daughter was there. Like, he was just.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He was just doing it about Kobe.

[A]

Jimmy, your microphone is rubbing.

[C]

I got. It was him.

[A]

Oh, yeah. But just. He doesn't do that anymore. Thank God.

[B]

What's funny is the Uber came to pick us up the next day, and it's like, just like a black dude picking us up. He. And he's like, I gotta go to the bathroom. He takes us to, like, a transient bus station.

[A]

The Uber guy?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

And I'm like, does this guy know about. Yeah. I'm like, are we gonna get murdered? The guy leaves for, like, 20, 30 minutes to take a.

[A]

No way.

[B]

Yeah. Before we're going to, like, the airport.

[A]

No way.

[B]

He did. And I was like, this is crazy.

[A]

I would order a second Uber to pick me up where the first Uber was.

[B]

No, we were ready to get murdered.

[A]

You're ready.

[B]

We were just sitting there.

[A]

The time is now. This is my fate.

[B]

This is my fate. We're dying right now.

[A]

If you die because Ari Shafir decides. First of all, for the longest time, Ari realized that he could not have a phone because he would be addicted to social media. And it was terrible for his mental health.

[B]

And that's what happened.

[A]

And so he had a flip phone forever.

[B]

Oh, I know.

[A]

And I was like, good for you. Like, David Tell still has a flip phone.

[B]

He does.

[A]

It's brilliant. Like, the people that do it. Sebastian Younger, he came in here. He still has a flip phone. There's people that rock a flip phone.

[B]

If he would have not had that flip phone, he wouldn't have done the Kobe stuff, 100%.

[A]

But I think things like that ultimately are good.

[B]

Yeah. He's not. He doesn't regret it. Have you talked to him?

[A]

He shouldn't have done it. Right. But he. Now he knows he shouldn't have done it. And that's just another layer of experience in life and just overcoming this horrific cancellation.

[B]

Should he not have Done it, though, in hindsight.

[A]

Yeah. I think he's probably. It's probably not a good thing to do to mock his daughter who died.

[B]

But he didn't mock the daughter, he just mocked him.

[A]

True. Yeah.

[B]

So I asked my, like, do you regret doing it? He's like, no, of course he's. And nobody. Nobody really. Like, people were upset. That's the whole thing with cancellations. People are upset for, like, two, three days, and then they forget.

[A]

Well, especially in this news cycle. This news cycle is so crazy. It's just no matter what happens, there's always something right around the corner that just covers it up.

[B]

Just a new thing to get upset about.

[A]

Yes. Another wave comes in and you no longer. It fades, whatever it is.

[B]

Bridget sent me that thing about the FEMA person who got fired. Because if you had a truck. Yeah. If you had, like, a Trump thing on your.

[A]

Can you imagine that?

[B]

I know, but it's like, if you have any signs, that means your house didn't get hit hard by a hurricane.

[A]

No.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

No. Because you could have a Biden sign. Look, it doesn't matter.

[B]

Any sign. But that's what I'm saying. If you have any sign.

[A]

Was secured. Depends entirely on how the sign was.

[B]

If your roof came off, you think that sign's going to be there.

[A]

Bottom line is, that's not what she was saying. What she was saying is avoid all houses that have a Trump sign. You cannot do that.

[B]

Oh, I know. But I'm just saying what's funny to me is, like, if you have a sign and it didn't lift off the ground, like, how hard was your.

[A]

Could be flooding. Your house could have been completely flooded. You have no power, no electricity, no running water. Yeah. I guess your house needs to be drained. Like, it's Federal emergency management. It's not supposed to be Federal emergency management for whoever this one person who's in charge with ideological resources.

[B]

Absolutely. I don't. I'm. I was making a joke. Like, if you have any sign there and it survived a hurricane, like, your house is probably fine.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Also, I want FEMA funds to go to the Fyre Festival. Like, that's all our money should be going through, is white guys trying to run a festival who fail.

[A]

Do you know that guy's doing another one?

[B]

I know. Is it a. It's not a fire festival.

[A]

I think he's calling it fire festival, too. Is he? Yeah. And he's charging, like, a million dollars a ticket. His move is to just charge an insane amount of money and See how fucking stupid some people are?

[B]

I mean, I love that.

[A]

The whole thing was nuts. It's like, one dude. It's always, like, some guy who you think could be selling bitcoin or a pyramid scheme. And now he's decided to put on.

[B]

A music festival because he wants to be cool. You know what I mean?

[A]

Like, doing a party with people.

[B]

He wants to party with people.

[A]

But you got. Didn't he get, like, famous people to go?

[B]

I think a lot of people pulled.

[A]

Out at the last minute.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Probably when they heard.

[B]

No, but who was the guy that was like. Was like. Not Jadakiss, who was doing. Ja Rule was doing it with him. I mean, if you have J on anything, it's not gonna be well.

[A]

Was Ja Rule one of the organizers?

[B]

He. I think he was just, like, one of the faces of it. I don't know if he put money in it or not.

[A]

Right. Like, he gave him a piece of it or something like that.

[B]

I don't know. He was there. They brought all these influencers out, and they. I mean, listen, if it. If he pulled it off, it would have been pretty good. I mean, he did have everyone post at the same time. Like, what was it, that orange box or something? So, like, everyone saw it, and they were like, oh, what's this? And then all these, like, rich kids are there, and they're, like, crying. I mean, honestly, the Fyre Festival was for all of us. That's what it was, right? For all of us to see all these kids crying and these FEMA tents and there's just. It was amazing. It was amazing.

[A]

See if you can find his videos. Or. He's trying to promote Fyre Festival, too. So he's walking down the street of New York City saying that all. So many tickets are already sold. And if you want.

[B]

I think they sold a lot of tickets.

[C]

I'm looking to buy one, and I can't find the website to buy them. Not that I want to go.

[A]

I just want to see what might not even be real. He might be completely insane.

[C]

There's a lot of press about it.

[A]

About Fire Festival, to post it on multiple websites.

[C]

This was all happening. It could have just been a press release, right?

[B]

Where. Where is Fyre Festival 2 gonna be?

[C]

In Mexico on April 25 through 20.

[B]

Oh, my God. I hope the cartel.

[A]

This year. No.

[C]

Coming up. Yeah.

[A]

This year coming up. Yeah. Wow. Who the fuck is gonna.

[B]

Who's going to Mexico for a fucking Fire Festival? That's crazy. Just go to Cancun. It's so much Closer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Festival.

[A]

Go to Puerto Vallarta. You don't have to go to Fyre festival. What's the place that all the kids go to? Tulum. They'll have to party in Tulum.

[B]

Yeah, have it. Have it there.

[A]

I don't know why Tulum. This is not one that's like one of the major places where they have those Aztec ruins, I think, or Mayan ruins. I don't know why Tulum is like the big. It's like we're like beautiful hippies and psychedelic people. Go. They go to Tulum. They do a lot of Instagram posts.

[B]

I mean, that's all. Everything's about an Instagram post.

[A]

I was watching this lady and her boyfriend the other day. We're walking on the street and they had basically taken up the entire street because the girl was sitting on this like, marble bench and she was posing and you couldn't walk in between the two of them. And he was like 12ft away from her. So there was like, like, what is this?

[B]

You're just stopping.

[A]

And it was a long photo shoot. Like, it went on for a couple minutes. It was fucking stupid as shit. She kept changing her pose and her face and the angle that he photographed her at. I wanted to take his phone away. Like, hey, fuck head, get out of the way.

[B]

Yeah, they do that. I was in CVS and they were doing a sketch and everyone's like, you gotta get out of here.

[A]

A sketch in cvs?

[B]

Yeah. There's a bunch of people with cameras and they were trying to do a sketch and they were screaming. And this girl was like, this girl behind the counter is a nice girl and she's also like a little bit slow. So she's trying to get these people out of there. It's just like chaos.

[A]

Everybody.

[B]

I get why people steal in cvs because nobody helps you and you're like, I will just steal. It's just. You're better off stealing than waiting there for somebody to come help you. It's just a nightmare.

[A]

The amount of people that I've seen working at those kind of stores that have like some sort of odd wound, an eye wound. Odd. Some odd. Like something like their head looks oddly shapen. Like they hit with a brick, like something.

[B]

Well, that's where veterans go to work. They send you back to cvs? Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

No, you just make that up.

[B]

I make a lot of stuff up.

[A]

There's so many of these sketches and pranks that people are doing now on YouTube. It's like everybody if you look at kids today, like they did some sort of a survey where they asked kids, like, what do you want to be when you grow up? And most of them said famous.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you could get famous opening, like, unboxing videos. Like. Like, I mean, if you could do that, why wouldn't you want to do that? I mean, I'd have a kid just to see if they could do that.

[A]

Well, you know that kid on Tick Tock, Keith Lee? Do you know who he is? He just reviews food. No, with sort of a monotone voice. He's actually brothers with a. He was a MMA fighter himself, and he's brothers with Kevin Lee, who was a. A top UFC contender at one point in time. And he just does these, like, sort of monotone videos where he reviews food.

[B]

Is he like, super, super popular? Wow.

[A]

Yeah. Like, how many?

[B]

It's like, why even go to school if you just unbox a video?

[A]

One of a kind study shows that 27 million paid creators operating in the US 11.6 million of them working full time as creators. Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, it's like, is that a number one job?

[B]

If you're from another country and you're like, why don't we just bomb America?

[A]

That might be. Isn't the number one job driving vehicles in the United States, which is one of the things they're really worried about when it comes to automation, because that's one of the first jobs it's going to go.

[B]

I've seen those cars where they're operating. There's no one operating them and they're just driving.

[A]

They're weird. Okay. Number one occupation, retail salesperson, is 3 million. Home and health personal care is 3 million as well. 3. Both of them are 3,700,000 general and operations managers. 3 million 5 fast food counter workers. 3, 4. Show them all what's interesting.

[B]

The retail and the home health aides, they're the same people doing both jobs because they can't afford to live. Just one job.

[A]

So drivers isn't even in the top 10. That's interesting. I thought it was like, number one of the top ones. So cooks is 2 million 7. And that's number 10. Stalkers order fillers. 2, 8. And so influencers was what, 1 million? That's what it was. 1. 11. 1.11. Wait a minute. So that's more than that. Yeah. So what the fuck? So go back to that chart again. 11.6.

[C]

The top four combined, almost.

[A]

That's crazy. So it's the most common job. So why is it Saying retail salesperson, it's like literally three times more common than that.

[C]

I have to then dig into where they're getting their data from, I guess, but wow. She says retail has been the most common job in the US since 1997.

[A]

Not anymore, bitches. Yeah, that's crazy. So that means that influencer, or content creator, whatever the fuck you want to call people, that's me too, I guess, with that's the number one job number podcasting. I used to have a joke back when it was just reality shows, that there's going to be a reality show about a cameraman on a reality show.

[B]

Somebody's filming him.

[A]

Someone's filming the cameraman on reality. What a crazy job you are. A cameraman on reality show. And then someone's going to say, but who's the cameraman behind the cameraman?

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then it's going to be like two mirrors facing each other. With the United States is going to be filled with just camera people filming other camera people.

[B]

I'm into it.

[A]

It was a joke, but it's kind of true now. Like, once, because I. Back when I said this, this is like, you know, 2000 something. When I was on Fear Factor, there was no social media stars. It didn't exist. And social media itself didn't exist. But now that it does, now that you see the impact that it has and how many people are making a living as air quotes, content creators, it's kind of fucking crazy.

[B]

It's incredible.

[A]

Yeah. It's a totally new market that emerged out of nowhere. And according to that thing, at least it's the number one job in the country.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. People are making a ton of money off of it. That's why people are, like, filming every single thing that they do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just putting it on Instagram or TikTok.

[A]

Well, they learn from the Kardashians that it doesn't even have to be interesting.

[B]

No, it doesn't.

[A]

You just have to have a new scene every five seconds. It's just.

[B]

And also, if it's like something crazy, if somebody's fighting, like, a fight, that helps.

[A]

Yeah, but it doesn't even. That doesn't even matter. All you have to do is just constantly switch angles. Do you ever watch a reality show?

[B]

Mm.

[A]

The scenes constantly change, just switching. My wife watches that stupid fucking Kardashian show.

[B]

I watch it too, but it's so monotone. Like, it's just one monotone person to another monotone person.

[A]

She just likes the clothes and pretty High.

[B]

I mean, listen, I've watched the Kardashians. I get it.

[A]

But the point is every like five seconds, the camera changes angles. You never have, like, what, like, like a podcast?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just you, me, the only thing that changes is your cameras on. When you're talking. My cameras on. We're talking. Sometimes it's both of us talking on camera.

[B]

I mean, I wish Kris Jenner was my mother. I mean, the way she's made these kids so famous. Like, could you imagine telling your kid to fucking have a sex scene and then release it?

[A]

Do you think that she did that?

[B]

Yes, she absolutely did that.

[A]

For sure?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I'm pretty sure.

[A]

Hmm. I reserve judgment.

[B]

I think she. I think she did. And I think it was the smartest thing she could have done for all their careers.

[A]

Definitely worked.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And then everybody has sex.

[B]

Right?

[A]

You want to watch? Go watch.

[B]

Go watch it. But the fact, like, you would never think a mom would put that out there, but it was like, pretty brilliant. My mom would never do something like that for me.

[A]

Well, you know that she's a little unconventional.

[B]

Sure. Yeah. It takes an unconventional woman to like, release your kids sex tape.

[A]

It's kind of turned her husband into a woman and basically made the entire clan super rich.

[B]

All. Even Rob.

[A]

Super rich.

[B]

They're all rich.

[A]

Crazy rich. Yeah. For no reason.

[B]

Like, because of that sex date.

[A]

Right. But like, that is kind of the seed.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ray J was more famous than Kim when they did that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And now Ray J's, like, nowhere. Like, if his mother also was on top of it with Chris, he could have been a bigger star too. Nobody gives a about Ray J anymore.

[A]

That's crazy that he didn't capitalize on.

[B]

That because his mom wasn't Kris Jenner.

[A]

Right. But why didn't he figure out a way? Because. Like what? I don't know what's unique about her way of thinking?

[B]

I think it's just Kim is very pretty.

[A]

That helps. He's a good looking guy, though.

[B]

He is a good looking guy.

[A]

Got a big dick. Right.

[B]

He, I assume. I, you know, I never saw the video.

[A]

How dare you lie to me like that, right to my face.

[B]

That he has a big dick?

[A]

No, that you never saw the video.

[B]

I didn't. I saw the video, but I didn't see his dick in it.

[A]

What did you see?

[B]

I think I saw it Too late. I seen it years later. I see it years later. I checked it out too late. When the dick wasn't in it.

[A]

What the Dick was removed eventually.

[B]

I think the dick was. I don't know. I've been searching for it pretty hard.

[A]

I bet Jamie can find it right now.

[B]

Let's see, can you find it?

[C]

Pornhub is blocked in Texas, Joe.

[A]

Oh, no. Well, you know what, you gotta have certain laws if you want to have free guns.

[B]

Why can't. Why is it blocked in Texas? It's not blocked.

[A]

It's not blocked. You just have to have proof that you're 18.

[B]

How do you prove that?

[A]

Your license upload? Yeah.

[B]

You have Kris Jenner say that you're over 18.

[A]

You have to have proof.

[B]

Okay, I guess. Well, I'm going to go home and search it.

[A]

Well, porn addiction for kids is a real thing.

[B]

I date a guy that had porn addiction.

[A]

Yeah? What happened?

[B]

I mean, we broke up eventually. He was also a little autistic. And then he went to see a sex therapist and I think they were fucking. So I guess she fixed it. What?

[A]

He fucked his sex therapist?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jesus Christ. For real?

[B]

I mean, that's what he told me. I don't think he's like, lying about it. What a. Yeah, but you have to like, it's like any other addiction. You have to like, stop doing it. I didn't even know he had it.

[A]

I'm just focusing on the sex therapist.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, how crazy is it? She's fucking her clients? Maybe her boyfriend wasn't fucking her at all. And she was like, at least someone's obsessed with it.

[B]

Well, maybe.

[A]

Give it to me.

[B]

Maybe that's how she cures you.

[A]

Because if you're horny, if you're like a healthy person who's just horny normally and the person you're with is not horny at all. And you're exhausted by that. But you're a sex therapist and then you're. You're talking to some guy, he's good looking guy, and he's like, I want to fuck all the time.

[B]

That's the thing with.

[A]

And she's like, you know what? I want to fuck all the time too.

[B]

Sure. But like with porn addiction, you're so used. Like, he would have like 300 screens open at once. So one person to him is boring. So that's what like porn addiction is. You need. So I'm exaggerating, but you need like a lot of different things open. And it probably has to get more and more progressive for you to, like, get off.

[A]

Wow. Well, that's where it gets real weird. Right? Like you start getting into like the darker side of porn. Like Violent porn and choking and gagging, spitting and slapping and tying people up. That kind of shit. Like, because if you're. If you're just getting your jollies, if you're not just trying to masturbate and have a little fantasy, you want to, like, it's got to get darker and crazier and crazy. It's got to, like, really freak you out.

[B]

That's why I think you have all those screens open. You're watching all of it at once.

[A]

You're getting tiny dopamine hits from 100.

[B]

Right. So then, like, your therapist calling you up.

[A]

Get over here.

[B]

I got 300 other therapists here.

[A]

You're a naughty boy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, I mean, how did she say. How did he say that? It started with the sex therapist.

[B]

I don't know. He didn't tell me, like, the specifics of it. We had been broken up already, and we, like, remain friends, and he just told me that they started sleeping together.

[A]

Jesus, that seems crazy. That's like prison guards. The prisoners.

[B]

I mean, if I was in prison, I would try and all the guards. What else are you gonna do? Yeah, I would do everything. I become Muslim. I would, like, become trans. I would do everything I could do in prison.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Just mix it up to pass the time.

[A]

Yeah. Especially if you have a long sentence.

[B]

If you're there for life. I'm down to do everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll do license plates. I'm gonna do hair. I'm gonna cook. I'm gonna do everything there.

[A]

Of course. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's weird how many people are in prison. I mean, we went over this the other day. How many people are in prison in the United States compared to, like, the rest of the world? It's like, we have the highest percentage of people that are in prison, I think, of any country in the Western world, for sure. I mean, you got. China's hard to count because you have, essentially, slaves.

[B]

Well, also in China, they all live in, like, tiny boxes anyway, which are prisons of their own doing.

[A]

Well, like, you. You wouldn't say necessarily that the people that make your iPhone are slaves, but they're literally sleeping in dorms, and they put nets around the building to keep them from jumping off.

[B]

I'd rather be in prison. How do you get in prison?

[A]

Prison, they probably, like, give you less hours than the Foxconn workers.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Probably get better food. How many people? End of 2023, the US had 1.8 million people in prison, which is more than any other country. China had the second highest number of prisoners with about 100,000 fewer than the U.S. but the thing about China, again, like, it's not just the amount of people in an actual prison. You have to think about the actual people that are slaves. US is the highest incarceration rate in the world. 724 people per 100,000. England and Wales has an incarceration rate of 145 per 140,000. And Russia has 581 people per 100,000. So Russia's nipping at our heels. Russian people are fucking crazy, though. US has longer sentences than many other countries, which contributes to the high incarceration rates. I wonder how many other countries have private prisons, too? That's the dark part.

[B]

Well, that's how you make the money.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, Profit. Profit off of people. I remember when I found out that prison guard unions were lobbying to keep marijuana laws because they wanted people to be in jail. I was like, what?

[B]

Yeah, because they want to make money.

[A]

They need. They need that job. They need those contracts. So many countries have private prisons, including United States has the most private prisons in the world. 158 facilities in 30 states. Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia, Australia. High percentage privatized prisons. New Zealand, United Kingdom, Scotland, Wales, South Africa, Japan, Brazil. When did they start with the private prison thing? Like, who? What fucking monster? Okay, Google this. What was the first private prison? What monster didn't see, didn't see the road ahead? When you allow people to profit off of people being locked up, what monster didn't see, you're gonna just have people lock more people up. 1984, these motherfuckers. It's George Orwell. Literally, is Orwell.

[B]

I would have thought it was before that.

[A]

No, it's a fairly recent thing. Prison used to be something that we used to have because we had to lock certain people up to protect them from society. And instead it became, hey, I think I could make money. I think I can make money off people in jail. They're using people like batteries to generate money.

[C]

This thing says Louisiana privatized its penitentiary. I don't know if there's a big differentiation between that.

[A]

1944, privatized, which was run as a factory. Yeah. Inmates were used to produce cheap clothing for enslaved people. Wow. That's crazy. You're producing clothes for slaves.

[B]

I mean, that is basically just Xi'an. That's what they're doing in China, right? All those clothes that are like $2.

[A]

Yeah. That's weird, right? You can buy a total knockoff of a designer dress for like four bucks.

[B]

I know, it's great. I love it.

[A]

They're being. They think you love it. I think there's a documentary on that that I was watching, my kid was watching, and I walked in on.

[B]

Was it like the Sheen documentary?

[A]

Yeah. They were talking about these people like they lost the contract because they weren't able to produce things as fast as this company needed them. And if it's just all about the knockoff industry over there. So if you're a designer, you make like that top that you're wearing and people like it, they'll just take that top and copy it. Exactly. And sell for five bucks, you know, and you're like, what? It's $59 on my website. Nope.

[B]

Why are there not knockoff iPhones?

[A]

There are not always there. Not only is there a knockoff iPhone, there's a knockoff Apple store in China where every single item is not really.

[B]

Apple, but it works just as good. It does not work as good.

[A]

I doubt it.

[B]

How long does it work?

[A]

Why wouldn't they cut corners? They're already lying to you.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Like if they're. Why wouldn't they put a cheaper chip in the laptops when they put cheaper screens? If you want to use like gorilla glass and AMOLED displays, that's just expensive. Use some cheap ass, you know, five year ago bullshit and just sell.

[B]

If it lasts for a couple years, that's great.

[A]

Five year old bullshit still works.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not great though.

[B]

I mean, I dropped my phone all the time.

[A]

Try to register with the Apple store and like, nah, player that's hated iPhone.

[B]

That's why you need riot so you can steal the stuff. It all comes back to that. Stealing all this stuff.

[A]

But someone's gonna make the stuff slaves.

[B]

Yeah. In China.

[A]

Prison in China. Yeah. I mean, what percentage of. Let's hear, let's ask this. What percentage of our electronics is made in China?

[B]

Probably 95%.

[A]

Well, lockets made in Japan and South Korea, like Sony huge, Samsung huge. They're probably one of the biggest electronic make. They make everything. They make refrigerators. They make like smart refrigerators where you can like check your refrigerator with your phone, see what the fuck's in there.

[B]

Make sure your refrigerator is like not doing something.

[A]

Yeah. Checking on you. Keep an eye on that.

[B]

What's going on in there?

[A]

What are you doing?

[B]

How many ice cubes have you made, you lazy bitch?

[A]

Where's my fucking ice? Ice cubes from your refrigerator, from your freezer. Are they the dirtiest ice cubes of all time. Like I said, I don't ever want those in my glass, remember?

[C]

Although I think Apple stuff is all coming from China.

[A]

You nailed it. Oh yeah. All the stuff that gets made actually gets made from Apple. That's all China. Laptops and computer monitor. China supplies 92% of US imports phones. China supplies 74% of US phone imports. So Samsung does not use China for phones. And I don't know if it's an ethical thing or what, but I think they make their phones in India and somewhere else, maybe Vietnam.

[B]

Is there a correlation between them, like stopping killing baby girls in China with making all of this stuff where they like, let's keep them alive so we could have them?

[A]

No, I think they just woke up and said, we have like 85% men.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And all these poor women are fucked.

[B]

Like they have to keep fucking all these guys. Yeah, there's not enough women have to.

[A]

Live with like three or four guys just to balance it out, take turns.

[C]

Competition. They're not as highly competitive in China.

[A]

It sounds like they reclo. Relocated some of the manufacturing from China, Southeast Asia to avoid high labor costs. What? Those slaves are expensive, Adrian. Samsung also hasn't been able to compete with Chinese brands like Xiaomi, Oppo and Vivo in the Chinese market. Interesting.

[B]

I've never even heard of those brands.

[A]

Yeah, they make. Xiaomi makes high end Android phones in the rest of the world. Android phones are huge. I know because everybody uses WhatsApp. They don't really give a about.

[B]

WhatsApp is like big in the Hispanic community too.

[A]

Yeah, WhatsApp is huge. Well, I have friends that only talk to me on WhatsApp.

[B]

I do too.

[A]

Yeah, like, well, Zuckerberg owns it. You know he owns it, but I don't talk to him other than WhatsApp. He's a WhatsApp, but he owns.

[B]

You talk to him on WhatsApp?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What does he say?

[A]

We talk about things.

[B]

Yeah, he's like, what's up?

[A]

He's a nice guy. He really is. He's. No, he's a billionaire. Yeah, he's a nice guy. It's when someone's like really rich. Like, oh, that guy's not a person.

[B]

Yeah, but he didn't start out rich though, did he?

[A]

No, so. Of course not. He invented Facebook.

[B]

Yeah, but some people start. Some people are rich and they like had their families had money the whole time. Yeah.

[A]

That's weird, right? Because then you're insulated from birth and then you go right into a deeper layer of insulation where you're Completely. Yeah, Completely disconnected from people. That's when you get into, like, Bill Gates category, which. Let's figure out a way to block out the sun.

[B]

You're so rich. Where you're like, I really want to fuck shit up for everyone.

[A]

Imagine, like, I was reading this thing about Bill Gates. His idea to block out the sun and oopsies. Oopsies, Jamie.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

No worries. It happens.

[B]

I'll clean it. I'm a woman. I'll clean it. Yeah, I know my place.

[A]

Like, he would. They were talking about, Bill Gates has some plan to stop global warming and, like, shoot particles into the air to block out the sun. And people are like, hey, do you know how many fucking people are on Earth? You can't just come up with that idea and try it. Like, what about the rest of us? This is.

[B]

You all need vitamin D. But imagine.

[A]

Being so ridiculous, you're so wealthy that you think, oh, I could just block the sun.

[B]

I kind of love it. I kind of love that. This guy's so nuts.

[A]

He is nuts.

[B]

And then you're like, I'm just going to stop water from happening. You're just going to. I love somebody that thinks they can do that much damage to the world.

[A]

I think people should just stop eating meat. And then he just, like, tries to get every stupid fucking.

[B]

That's fine. But imagine, like, blocking out the sun.

[A]

That's crazy. Yeah. He's also buying farmland to do what? Fucking knows. Probably grow his fake meat food.

[B]

Like GMO shit.

[A]

Yeah. Well, fake meat is made out of plant protein, and so you have to grow plants.

[B]

I've never had it.

[A]

It's nasty.

[B]

I bet it's disgusting.

[A]

The thing about it is, like, if you want to have healthy vegetarian food, go eat Indian food. It tastes delicious, it's good for you. And it's vegetarian. Like, it just doesn't have to pretend to be a cheeseburger.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The fake cheeseburger stuff is all seed oil.

[B]

Just eat legumes and whatever you're gonna eat.

[A]

Yeah, if you can do it. Like, if you can. If you want to eat healthy and have delicious food, Indian food's the way to go. 100. There's an Indian food restaurant in Woodland Hills I used to go to all the time. It was this cool place. It was like everybody spoke Hindi and you went in there and, like, you had to, like, just guess what you're eating and point. Everything was vegetarian.

[B]

Scary to me.

[A]

Oh, it was super, super authentic. It was like, there's this weird offshoot Indian community. And so they had like this Indian grocery store. And then in the back of the Indian grocery store they had this cafe. And it was all Indian food. It was really good though.

[B]

They use a lot of spices too.

[A]

Oh yeah, they know how to spice the shit out of those vegetables. But it was good. It was like delicious vegetables.

[B]

It's pretty healthy Indian food. It's very healthy. It's like vegetables and like all that stuff's pretty good.

[A]

Also they use a lot of turmeric, you know, like in curcumin and all those spices and like that's all anti inflammatory turmeric, right?

[B]

I mean, you have to be close to a bathroom, but like it is pretty good.

[A]

Let's go. You gotta be ready to go.

[B]

I'm gonna eat this on the run.

[A]

But that's my point is like, if you want to fucking eat vegetarian, if you want to eat vegetables only, there's a way to do it that tastes good and you don't have to preten. You're eating a burger.

[B]

Those barbers, I guess you just feel left out. Like, what is the point of pretending to eat that?

[A]

Well, it's because the people quit eating meat.

[B]

Right, I understand that.

[A]

No, they quit and then they want the meat back. They wish they could have the meat. Oh, you could pretend you're eating the meat. It even bleeds just like a burger.

[B]

Gross. It's all burger or eat beans.

[A]

It's also super duper unhealthy for you.

[B]

It can't be healthy to manufacture it like that.

[A]

It's so processed. If you want to eat vegetables, this is how you eat them. Come on, clean them up.

[B]

Put some spices.

[A]

That's vegetable. You don't run it through fucking machines and glop it up with oils and extract things and compress it and shut the fuck up.

[B]

You're see like what Tempe looks like.

[A]

Oh, it's nasty.

[B]

I know. My friend was eating one time, I was like, that looks disgusting.

[A]

I was watching the production of tofu, like from scratch with all these machines. Like, why would you ever think that's natural?

[B]

And tofu doesn't taste good. I mean, I know it picks up the flavor, what it. Whatever it is, but it's like it's on its own. It has no taste.

[A]

No, on its own has no taste. It's a crude source of protein that doesn't have a lot of amino acids in it. And it's not as bioavailable. But you can live on it. Like you can live. You can live on vegetables. You can do it. It's just. It's not advisable.

[B]

You just don't have energy, though.

[A]

No. You're missing so many things. You're missing creatine. You're missing a bunch of amino acids. You're missing vitamin B12. There's a bunch of things you're gonna have to supplement with. You know, there's ways people supplement that can mitigate some of that. Algae's a good one, because algae is kind of a life form that's different. And you can get certain vitamins from algae that you can't get from. Just like plants that grow above ground.

[B]

This sounds disgusting.

[A]

It does sound disgusting. You know what vegans should really consider adopting into their diet? Mollusks. Because mollusks are actually more primitive than plants. You got to go over the fact they move because Venus flytraps move, too.

[B]

They do.

[A]

Would you feel bad about eating a Venus flytrap salad? If you do, you're a cuckoo person. You're not just a vegetarian, you're a cuckoo person. Now, you think the Venus flytrap is smarter than, like, cabbage? That's stupid. That doesn't make any sense.

[B]

Do vegetarians not eat any vegetables either? Aren't there some people that believe, like, all fruitarians.

[A]

That's a fruitarian. Yeah.

[B]

So then what do they eat?

[A]

Well, those people eat cancer. They die.

[B]

I mean, that's crazy.

[A]

That's. It's so bad for you to just. You only eat fruit. You're overwhelmed with sugar. You're eating sugar all day long. Sugar should be something you have every now and then. I think. I mean, I think sugar is generally. It causes all sorts of inflammation, and it's not really good for you. It tastes great, but it's not good for you.

[B]

You mean like fruit sugar or, like, even fruit sugar?

[A]

I think you should get fruit sugar in the form of fruit only. You definitely shouldn't get it in orange juice. Orange juice is no different than drinking a Coca Cola.

[B]

But what if it's like 100% just orange juice?

[A]

Doesn't matter. Your body's not used to processing all that liquid sugar. Yeah, exactly the same way. Maybe even worse, because some, like my daughter once got one of them little apple juices from Disneyland. And she looks at. She goes, jesus christ. This has 18 grams of sugar in it. This little tiny thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, what is a Coca Cola, Jamie? Is it 30? Let's. Let's guess. How many grams of sugar do you think Coca Cola has in it?

[B]

Probably about 40.

[A]

40, 38. I say about 30. What do you think, Jamie? I think it's like 30ish. 39. 39. Okay, that's it.

[C]

Sorry. That's what it is.

[A]

Okay, so what is 12 ounces of orange juice? 12 ounces of, let's say fresh squeezed. So it's. You think you're eating healthy? Fresh squeezed orange juice.

[B]

There's. You still have to be better off having a fruit juice over a Diet Coke.

[A]

Not. Well, not.

[B]

Or not Diet Coke, a regular Coke.

[A]

Not much. Well, there is. They're both fructose, right?

[C]

About 30.

[A]

30. Yeah. Real similar. Real similar to Coca Cola. You do get vitamin C. You get that. But if you want orange juice, you should get it from eating oranges. Because when that's what your body knows what to do with that. Your body gets a slice of orange, it goes, I didn't do this.

[B]

This is good fiber in there. Okay, so let me answer this. If you're drinking orange juice, how come your body doesn't recognize that as an orange?

[A]

Because it's going straight to your liver. Okay. There's no breaking down of fiber. There's no. And you're getting a dose of equivalent to like eating eight oranges immediately.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Your body's like, what's going on? Is this. That's why soda so bad for you?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Your body's like, what the fuck is this?

[B]

Well, I stopped eating sugar.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

I only have like fruit, but like, other than that, I don't have any, like cookies or cake or any of that stuff.

[A]

How do you feel?

[B]

I feel better. I mean, I lost a ton of weight.

[A]

You did? You look great.

[B]

Thanks. I. How much you lose from the last time I was here, probably like 45, 50 pounds. But I also was working out too.

[A]

How do your joints feel? They must feel so much lighter.

[B]

They do, but like, I have a friend who's like, losing weight. It doesn't matter how much you weigh. It doesn't weigh on your joints. And I'm like, you know, that's like, not true.

[A]

That doesn't make any sense.

[B]

I know, but you just kind of have to let people think that because what am I gonna do, fight with you about it? Just. Okay.

[A]

She said it doesn't make a difference.

[B]

It doesn't make a difference how much you weigh. Like on your knees.

[A]

Guy or a girl?

[B]

A girl. And I was like, okay. I'm just like. I was staying at her house too. And I was like, I'm not gonna fight with you about that.

[A]

I used to notice the difference when I was fighting, when I would lose weight, when I would compete. So I used to weigh like 155 pounds and I had to compete at 140.

[B]

And just that 15 pound weight you felt.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I felt so light. I felt so light on my feet. Well, I work out with a vest. I put a weight vest on, so it's a 25 pound weight vest. And I do like all these body weight exercises. When I get that £25, doesn't seem like much. I get that thing off me, I'm like, yeah.

[B]

I mean, my back, everything feels better.

[A]

Of course your joints, everything. You're over stressed, but your legs are probably strong as fuck. I used to say that about Ralphie May. I'm like, bro, if you could lose weight, you could kick through a fucking building.

[B]

But I think your knees are just like, we need a break, right?

[A]

But they will get a break. They're gonna get a break because you're.

[B]

Gonna lose £400 if you lose £400. Sure.

[A]

I mean, if I was looking at his legs, I'm like, the muscle you must have in your legs, you. You go upstairs, you know, like, Ralphie.

[B]

Was forming in the belly room.

[A]

Ralphie went into the belly room, so he had to go upstairs. You remember the belly room of the store? That's a fucking old school staircase.

[B]

But I mean, how often are you doing that?

[A]

Well, he's walking a lot because he was always walking, just walking. Imagine if, okay, I weigh 205 pounds. If I had to put on a. What did Ralphie weigh in his prime? If you had a guess, I have no idea.

[B]

£500.

[A]

If I had to put on £300. Imagine if I. And I'm in shape. Imagine if I had to walk around the comedy store with a dumbbell on my weight on my back. Or a barbell on my back with £300 on it.

[B]

Okay, but I mean, I can make.

[A]

It like 30 steps and I have to put it down and take a break for like five minutes and then try to pick it up again, and I'd be exhausted. This dude's just walking around all day like that.

[B]

But if you're walking around that much, you're gonna lose a lot of weight, too.

[C]

Lost that much weight.

[A]

That's what you lost? Yeah.

[C]

He weighed almost 800 pounds.

[A]

Yo.

[B]

And just walking up the stairs at the belly room. He lost £300 just once.

[A]

One time.

[B]

One time. That's crazy. Why are we not having all the fat people walking? Wow.

[A]

He used to weigh over 800 pounds. He underwent gastric bypass surgery and lost 350 pounds. But his struggle with his weight. He. He blew out his gastric bypass twice.

[B]

Well, the thing is with. I mean, a lot of people that get those surgeries, you're not. If you're not figuring out the reason why you're overeating like that, it doesn't matter. You can still gain the weight back if you eat small meals all day long. I have friends that have gotten. And you just eat small meals all day long.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And you're just still gaining the weight back. Yeah.

[A]

Keep you at least maintain your weight. You can't keep as much in there at a time as like a giant plate of food. But.

[B]

No, but if you eat little meals all day and graze, you'll gain the weight back. I know people that have had that surgery and you're like, oh, you just gained a lot of your weight back.

[A]

Right. So they're not eating because they're hungry. They're eating because they're crazy. They're.

[B]

Well, they're eating. Right. It's like the same way people abuse anything. Right. Like, if it's alcohol or sex or drugs, you know, it's the same thing. Right. You're trying to, like, numb out and feel a void. So if you don't have actually address that, you're not going to just stop eating.

[A]

So someone told me this. Find out this is true. Does Bruno Mars owe the MGM a ton of money from gambling? Is that true?

[C]

I've seen the story where someone claims they were there.

[A]

Yeah. I've talked to someone who claims it's someone who would know who claims it's true. But isn't that crazy if true, that even a guy like Bruno Mars, who's this super wealthy, super famous, super talented singer.

[B]

Doesn't mean you don't have issues though, right?

[A]

But the gambling one is a nutty one.

[B]

It is. Well, my dad was a gambler for an mgm.

[A]

He has no debt because MGM probably made some sort of a deal.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because this. Doesn't he have, like, some sort of. He has no debt with mgm. Wink, wink. So they have a deal. So what is. Would they have some sort of a. He has a residency there, right? I think so. The word is right. I don't know if he's got a gambling problem.

[B]

My dad was a gambler and, like, he made no money. It's the craziest thing to be a gambler when you have no real money.

[A]

Oh, it's a crazy one. It's a crazy addiction. It's an addiction that I first saw when I started hanging out in Pool halls. When I was 23, I started. I became addicted to playing pool.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

I was playing it all the time. I blew my knee out. I needed to get knee surgery. And when I blew my knee out, it couldn't work out, so I had to wait for surgery. And so like my ACL was all fucked up. And so I just started playing pool with one of my friends. And I became addicted to playing pool. And I would go there all the time because as a comedian, I didn't have a job. I just would go on stage at night and during the daytime.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'd hang out in pool halls and at nighttime and hang out in pool halls. And I just got around these people that. I'd never known anybody like that before. Just fully addicted to gambling all day long. They would go to the racetrack, they would go to off track betting.

[B]

My dad used to take me to OTB as a kid. That's brutal. And that's when they used to let you smoke. You just come home smelling like smoke.

[A]

And you're hanging out in there.

[B]

As me and my sister, we would hang out with my dad in the OT for hours.

[A]

I feel like such a good dad.

[B]

Yeah, you're a way better dad. It wouldn't be bad if my dad was gambling and he was like, you know, he was a mailman. You can't. You can't gam. You can't do both of those things at the same time.

[A]

Yeah, it's a crazy one. It's a really crap. Who was it that told us that the dad. The dad was gambling so hard they lost their house. Fuck, I forgot the whole story. But it's just you don't hear a story very rarely about a gambling addict who like kills it and like, they retire in Vegas and they have no.

[B]

Because you keep going until you eventually lose everything.

[A]

Yeah, it's a dark one. Did you see Uncut Gems?

[B]

No.

[A]

You should see it. Well, it might be too close to home.

[B]

It doesn't matter.

[A]

It's. It's Adam Sandler, I think his best movie ever. And it wasn't even a comedy at all. It's a drama. He fucking kills in it too. It's so good.

[B]

I have heard other people say that it's so. I gotta watch it.

[A]

But it's for me, like having known those people and it's so filled with anxiety because it's. It's a sports betting thing. Sports bettors are the craziest ones because there's so many different ways to bet. You can get. Bet the spread you get bet parlays.

[B]

You can do all my dad, for a while, my dad was like taking money from his pension, which, like. Yeah. So when he died, there was like, really not that much money. My mom was forcing him to go to Gamblers Anonymous while he was also still gambling. It's not going to help if you don't really want to stop. Right? If you don't want to stop, you're not going to stop.

[A]

I think food is the hardest one because food addiction, you always have to eat food. Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

All the other ones, you can kind of just not.

[B]

That's why I stopped eating sugar, because once I started eating it, I can't stop.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So then once it's like out of your system, you don't crave it anymore.

[A]

Well, that's because your gut bacteria changes.

[B]

That makes sense.

[A]

Yeah. It's. What is it? Candida? Is that what it is? There's a specific type of gut flora that consumes sugar and it thrives on sugar. And with people that eat a lot of sugar, it's very prominent in their gut bacteria. And it literally changes your brain, it changes your chemistry, it changes your mood.

[B]

Doesn't sugar also just like breed breeding ground for cancer? Like when you have cancer, one of.

[A]

The things they tell you, if you get keto, stop sugar, stop all sugar, get on a ketogenic diet. So get your body to eat like high fat ketosis. Yeah. Eat a lot of macadamia nuts and things with, you know, things you get a lot of fat from and just that's you. Your body starts burning fat, which you feel so much better when you live like that. Your brain works better.

[B]

Yeah, for sure. You're just like in a brain fog.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. For me, I mean, you know, I'm Italian, so I grew up eating pasta and bread and pizza. It was like common. And when I stopped doing it, when I went like on a carnivore diet, the first thing that I thought that was really bizarre was I wasn't hungry during the day. Like, I never got this like famished starvation feeling.

[B]

Well, because isn't it like if you're eating stuff that's like high in carbohydrates, like that doesn't your blood sugar, like drop really quickly and stuff?

[A]

Yeah, it spikes when you eat it. It's insulin. Your body produces a ton of insulin. You want your body to run on ketones. If your body runs on ketones, it's just like it works better or your thought. One of the things that I noticed, like almost Immediately was like, when I came in and do podcasts, I was much better at it. My brain, like, just from a performance enhancing perspective, my brain functions better. I can form sentences better.

[B]

If I was eating, like, a lot of sugar, you almost get that same hungover feeling as if you drink. Like, I've had that where, like, if you binge eat sugar and then the next day you're like, oh, my God, I feel so hungover.

[A]

It's similar. Yeah. Yeah, it's similar. Like, there's something to. It's not as extreme because you're probably not dehydrated too, but, yeah, your body's like, what are you doing to me, man?

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

It's not good.

[B]

Not at all.

[A]

But it's so delicious. Like, it is so good. While you're eating it.

[B]

I know why you're eating it. You're like, God, that's how my dad felt. Gambling on the horses. This feels so good. And then what he. So they would send us to Catholic school, and he would, like, not pay, like, tuition, and then they would call me in to, like, talk to me. Oh, and I'd have to go talk to my dad.

[A]

He was gambling the money away.

[B]

Yeah, my dad was always gambling.

[A]

I think people need some excitement in their life, you know?

[B]

Sure. And it's like, why are you doing that? What are you trying to numb out? Because God knows what he was, you know, I mean, like, everyone's kind of trying to fix their problems from their childhood, or they're not.

[A]

There's that. But I think with gambling, it's also excitement.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And you get addicted to just having a purpose and having excitement. Your purpose is to figure out when the Knicks are going to win by 17 points.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And if they win, you win. And then. Yes, I'm alive.

[B]

It, like, spikes. Like, you're just like that feeling of, like, winning and then that feeling of losing.

[A]

Well, that's the craziest thing about the Adam Sandler movie. There's a moment in it, spoiler alert. Where he does make this big win. And so with this big win, he's gonna be able to pay all these people off. They're trying to kill him. And he immediately doubles down and puts it on another. You're like, what the Right?

[B]

You just. Because that's the thing. You're chasing that high constantly. I had a friend who's a huge gambler, and, like, he lost so much money, and no matter how much he gambles, if he's up $15,000, he's still chasing that $8 million loss. So it doesn't matter. He's. He's constantly chasing that big loss. And like, no matter how much he wins, he's like, yeah, but I still lost all that other money, so I'm going to keep chasing this.

[A]

My good friend Dana White is gambling addict.

[B]

And also, if you're super rich, you just have more to lose.

[A]

Oh yeah, he. He goes hard. We went to visit him at Green Valley. Was it green? No, river. Red Rocks. Red Rocks. We went to visit him at Red Rocks. Jamie and I went and when we got there, he was $600,000 down. When we got there.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Playing blackjack. But at the end of the night, he stayed till like 6 in the morning, he was $600,000 up. So he won that money back and then he got him for 600 grand.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

He's there all the time. He loves it. He love. But he's worth like, you know, I don't know what he's worth. Hundreds of millions of dollars, right? He can get away with that.

[B]

Sure. Not my dad, who's making 40 grand a year.

[A]

But it's nutty that even a wealthy guy, you would think you're that wealthy. Why would you want to gamble?

[B]

You know, it's just the. Why would yellow. There's nothing that replicates that feeling that you get when you're like winning or losing.

[A]

Yeah, it's a real drug for sure. And it's a weird one. It's a really weird. It's like it hijacks like your human reward system that's built to solve problems and overcome adversaries and, you know, conquer and get conquered. Like it's. It's hijacking that little part of your brain.

[B]

I kind of want to gamble right now. Right now. Let's just go.

[A]

If you were a gambler, what do you think you're game would be?

[B]

Whenever I do it, it's just like slots and I really.

[A]

That's the dumbest one I know.

[B]

Cuz I don't really know how to play blackjack or anything. So I'm just like, I'm going to lose all my money.

[A]

Would you want to learn though?

[B]

I would like to learn. Yeah. I did learn blackjack a little bit. My friend was teaching me.

[A]

I think I could learn blackjack craps. I'm like, you might as well be trying to teach me how to read.

[B]

You know, the weird one to me is like someone who puts all the money on the red or black.

[A]

Oh, roulette.

[B]

Yeah, that's A nutty one it is. Because don't you have to get the number? How do you even. Like, how do you even bet on that? It's such a chance.

[A]

There's a bunch of different ways you can bet. I think you can bet red or black. You could bet specific numbers. You know, I think there's a bunch of different ways, but if you wanted to, like, bet at all, red or black, I think you can. I think, like 100 grand on one roll. I think it's going to come out red.

[B]

I don't know. I just like the feeling you get putting. Say you put 100 grand down and then you lose and you're like, no, that's my children's tuition. There goes our house.

[A]

But that thing addicts people. I mean, that's the argument why casinos shouldn't be everywhere. Because people would just. Everywhere, they would be falling into gambling.

[B]

Addiction for the most. I mean, casinos, like, there's one in Yonkers and in New York, it's so depressing. It's just all old people that are there on disability just sitting there and they're doing that thing, the slots, and just having smoking. I know.

[A]

Just waiting.

[B]

It's very sad. You're waiting to die.

[A]

Yeah. It's a dark thing that you just sit these people in front of those things and just. They press buttons and all the lights are going on, so the little brain is getting activity.

[B]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. My mother told me that my grandmother was like, a big gambler, and she also didn't have money. It's crazy when people who are poor gambling and she would lose the money all the time, like the rent money. My grandfather used to hit her.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

I know. And I was like. I guess he didn't hit her hard enough to learn because she kept doing it. She just kept doing it.

[A]

My grandmother used to run the numbers for the mom.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Yeah. She actually went to jail. She went to jail for, like, six months.

[B]

You really are Italian. I didn't even know you're Italian.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. My grandmother, she was addicted to the numbers. And she would always talk about the numbers. Like, I was gonna bet this, that, and that, but this one came through and I changed my mind. She was always like, changed her mind.

[B]

That's gotta be the whole time where you're just like, should I do this number? Should I do that number?

[A]

It was. Most conversations I had with her were about either ghosts, psychics, or the numbers.

[B]

I mean, do psychics work? Because wouldn't you think they could Predict the numbers.

[A]

Yeah. I think psychic phenomenon is an emerging property of human consciousness that's not quite there yet. I think that language didn't develop overnight. I think eyesight didn't develop overnight. And I think psychic connection between human beings is a real thing that nobody. I think some people are better at it. They have more of a gene for it or more of a. It could be like a biochemistry thing. It could be a psychology thing. There's. There's something that you connect to sometimes where you know something.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But you don't know why you know it. There's. When you know someone's going to call and then they call you. Thinking about someone, they call you. I think that's real. I think it's just not. You can't put it on a scale. I think the problem is it's too ethereal. It's like, too ephemeral. Rather, it's too. It's not quite there yet, but I think it's an emerging thing that's happening.

[B]

Would you want to know the day you're going to die if you could find out?

[A]

No.

[B]

Would you want to know how you're gonna die?

[A]

No, no. I'm interested in while I'm alive, just living.

[B]

I would like to know the day.

[A]

I wouldn't want to know.

[B]

I don't wanna know because then I would just take a lot more chances.

[A]

You'd be freaking out the last few days.

[B]

Sure. But, like, I would probably do a lot of stuff now if I knew I was gonna die at like, 70 or 80.

[A]

We probably are gonna die at 70 or 80. Yeah.

[B]

But you don't know for sure.

[A]

Well, technology could come along and extend.

[B]

Because then I would try and see if I could die before. Just, like, run across the highway, really.

[A]

Like, just beat the system.

[B]

See if I could beat the system.

[A]

You can always jump off a bridge. Imagine that.

[B]

George Washington Bridge. If I was gonna do it, that's the best one. That's the bridge to go off of.

[A]

Do people do that?

[B]

I'm sure they do, but you gotta do it when it screws enough people. Like Labor Day weekend or something. Just hold that traffic up.

[A]

I had a friend who jumped off the Golden Gate.

[B]

I guess he died.

[A]

He did.

[B]

Do you ever see that documentary about the people that live?

[A]

I haven't seen it, but I've heard of it. I know about.

[B]

It's interesting because some of the people that lived are like. As soon as you jump, you regret it.

[A]

Yeah, of course. It's like your body's, like, freaking out it's like, oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You have three seconds to think about life before you plummet 75 miles an hour into the ocean.

[B]

They always stop traffic to on the bridge, which is weird, right? Because you're like, they're ready to drop.

[A]

Out of the water and land.

[B]

Just go on the ground and look for them. What are we doing up here? Why can't I go for the bridge?

[A]

Stop and traffic on the bridge. I guess it's to make sure that nobody pushed them. Look for evidence of, like, fingernails clawing at the poles.

[B]

Sure. But, like, you know, the highway is fine, though.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Just, like, look on the edges.

[A]

I think whenever they get a chance to shut things down, they like it.

[B]

One time I got hit by a car. A drunk driver. And they shut the highway down. Everyone. All the cars are there, and you kind of just throw like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's amazing.

[A]

This is all for me. We did this. You.

[B]

It's kind of weird you guys aren't picking your kids up.

[A]

Yeah, sorry.

[B]

Drunk driver decided to hit me.

[A]

Oh, guess you're gonna. Your pants. Sorry. Not gonna make it home in time.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Yeah, it's true.

[B]

I had a drunk driver hit my car and then asked me if I would help them push their car off the highway.

[A]

Oh, that's adorable.

[B]

Yeah. He was so drunk.

[A]

Was he?

[B]

I don't know. He went away in handcuffs, but, like, he had an Audi and he. It wasn't even his car.

[A]

Oh, Jesus.

[B]

He was undocumented. I don't even know if he. Did he have a license? I don't know, but he was unint. It was crazy, the whole situation. He was like, hey, can you push me off the highway? I was like, probably not.

[A]

God damn, dude. That's how people die too, buddy. Mine from high school died that way. He was changing his tire. Side of a highway.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. It's so dangerous. People don't fucking pay attention.

[B]

They don't. Especially if it's late at night.

[A]

Well, especially now. This was many years ago, before cell phones, when this kid died. But this, like, now the odds of, like, when I see people on motorcycles, I'm like, God damn, that's so risky.

[B]

It's very risky.

[A]

So few people are paying attention. I see people texting all.

[B]

Everyone is texting all the time. I would rather drive with drunk drivers. People texting and driving. They're always all over the road.

[A]

All over the road. And not only that, the amount of space you cover while you look down at your phone for like a Couple of seconds and type in a word. The amount of space you cover if you're going 60 miles an hour is.

[B]

Really crazy, of course. And then you're also not paying attention to the other people who are texting and driving.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

It really is just, like, chaos. Maybe I'll get home, maybe I won't.

[A]

Why don't we all have bumper cars? Let me ask you that. I think wouldn't it be better if everybody had a big rubber thing all around the outside of the car so we could just kind of bounce off of each other?

[B]

Probably that would be a good idea. But then you also need people to die because, like, we're just too overpopulated.

[A]

That's where fentanyl comes in.

[B]

Fen, exactly. Give everyone Fentanyl.

[A]

Like, if you were going to fix the homeless problem and you weren't going to use fentanyl, what would you do?

[B]

I'm giving them Fentanyl because it's, like, a nice way to go out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's quick.

[A]

It is.

[B]

And you're so happy. And then you're dead.

[A]

They have Narcan everywhere, though. They just bring people back to life. But the thing is, it's like, I.

[B]

Never see Narcan anywhere.

[A]

If you weren't going to, like, if you, like, for real, if you were trying. If you were just objective, you weren't looking at this in terms of, like, what's the kind thing to do and you wanted to clean up the homeless situation.

[B]

Well, you have to spend a lot of money on mental health.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, you have to, like, care about the veterans. I, like, I've all joked about this on my special, about how, like, we don't really care about veterans. And I've dated a lot of them. A lot of veterans that, like, come back and they're so screwed up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we're not, like, actually helping them.

[A]

No.

[B]

And a lot of them end up on the street, and they're crazy. But they need, like, a lot of, you know, like, mental health. And they have to. You have to, like, kind of figure out how to go back into society.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Like, I've dated several veterans, and, like, they're crazy. Understandably. You know, you can't go to war for, like, eight years and then come back and work at Target. Like, it's just not a way that that happens.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So you would have to be willing to, like, help veterans. You'd have to spend money on mental health, and you have that. But this is the problem is, like, doing those things doesn't really Yield a lot of money. So people don't want to waste their money into it.

[A]

That's what's fucked up, right? They do whatever they can get away with. And if they get away with, like using the veterans and not paying for them to be better, they just do.

[B]

Also, everyone's like, well, they can go to a VA hospital. It's like, I've seen how hard it is to get services from there. And that's a person that's not really crazy and messed up from war.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it's like you're making it so hard for these people that go and serve the country.

[A]

I know. I talked to J.D. vance about this, talked to him about psychedelics.

[B]

What did he say?

[A]

Well, he wasn't aware of it, honestly, and so he was interested in it. And hopefully now that he's actually the vice president, I could connect him with some people that could perhaps show him some things and explain to him all the different ways that they've figured out, especially in other countries, like in Mexico, to help veterans. Ibogaine's a big one. Ibogaine, psilocybin, ayahuasca. All these different psychedelics have shown to have remarkable effects even for depression.

[B]

I think people take it. They microdose.

[A]

Yep. Well, not just microdose, like the ibogaine one is. I've never done that. But what I understand, it's like almost like a 24 hour. You want some more? It's like a 24 hour experience.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

That shows you like a movie of your life.

[B]

I don't want to see that.

[A]

Well, it shows you, apparently, and this is just me hearing what other people have told me. But it explains to you why you have these problems and shows to you what developed, where the issue started. And by seeing that, you could figure it out. You go, oh, okay, well, I won't do that anymore. Now I get it now. I get what this hole I've been trying to fill is. I don't need to fill the hole anymore.

[B]

But that's the thing. Like, I feel like I know what was like probably wrong in my childhood. I know that. But it doesn't like, fix me.

[A]

Right. It's different. It's not just knowing it. It's like seeing it at almost like a subatomic level. Like seeing the process, seeing what's going on inside of you and recognize that this is a very bad path to follow. Not just knowing it and still doing it. Not just like not being able to get out of a habit, not being able to get out of A pattern of behavior. But to see, like, the source of it, the path where it takes you and the right way to go and to see it laid out where you go, oh, I could just do this and just like let that go and move on and be a better person, be a healthier person, be happier.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so many people that I know have done that. They've stopped drinking, stopped opiates. You know, opioids is a big one. So the big one that it helps, ibogaine does. And ibogaine is, like completely non addictive, apparently. It's a terrible experience and nobody wants to do it again.

[B]

Ibogaine?

[A]

Yeah, you do it.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

It's from the iboga tree, which is an African tree, that it's a very bizarre. I don't know what category of psychedelic it's in, but it's not technically. It's not like psilocybin, which is mushrooms. It's not like dimethyltryptamine, which is ayahuasca. It's something completely different, some different pathway, but particularly effective. Again, I've never tried it, but everybody I've talked to that has. Particularly effective in curing addictions.

[B]

Interesting. I've never heard of that.

[A]

Yeah, I know quite a few guys. My friend Ed Clay, he actually opened up a place in Mexico because he heard his back. He's a jiu jitsu guy. A lot of jujitsu guys fuck their backs up like my shit. Yeah, you get an operation or you get a pillow, you know, you need some pain pills because you literally can't tie your shoes because your fucking back is flared up and the next thing you know, you're hooked. And thanks to the Sackler family. Those sweeties.

[B]

They made so much money, though, those fucking monsters.

[A]

We were just talking the other day about. They. They started the Valium thing, too. They were responsible for the Valium thing in the 1970s. Same family. It's a family of demons.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Just fucking monsters. And no one's in jail.

[B]

I watched the documentary. I guess it was about the Sackler family.

[A]

Was it the Netflix one?

[B]

I don't know. There was a couple. There's one on, I think Hulu and there. And then there was one also on Netflix.

[A]

Yeah, there was Dope Sick.

[B]

I watched Dope Sick.

[A]

What was the Netflix one? One called Jamie Painkiller. Is that what it's called? That's the Peter Berg one. Peter Berg came and explained it all to us and talked about the documentary. It's great. It's so good because it's like, they're such demons. And just to know that people like that exist and walk amongst us. That's it.

[B]

Well, listen, speaking of Netflix, Broderick kills.

[A]

It in that too.

[B]

Go watch my Netflix special. Yes, the Dark Queen.

[A]

The Netflix special. Tell her. Where'd you film it?

[B]

We filmed it at the Cellar.

[A]

Oh, nice. Nice. That must be good for you, right? Comfortable.

[B]

Yeah. Just because I'm used to it. But I gotta tell you, like, your club is amazing. I love it.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I would definitely love you too. Yeah, I would definitely film my next one there.

[A]

Everyone's been trying to get you to move here.

[B]

I'm gonna be moving here.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I'm gonna come here probably like a little bit in December, and then I'm going to LA to promote the Dark Queen, and then I'll be here in January. Oh, I know.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

And I'll be seeing Marshall all the time.

[A]

So the last time I talked to you about this was in the bar at Mitzi's. You mean Bridget?

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Do we push over the top?

[B]

Well, Ari. Ari was like, said the meanest thing to me.

[A]

Want to see the text that Ari sent me?

[B]

Sure. Yeah.

[A]

He sent me a text like, adrian's coming to Austin, Convince her to move there.

[B]

He's telling everyone that. He's like. He goes, well, fine, just be a feature the rest of your life. I was like, all right, Ari, I get it.

[A]

I'll find it. There's too many. There's too many. Goddamn.

[B]

But Ari. Ari's excited for the special. He's like, I think everyone's going to be really upset. I was like, I hope so. Listen, I want people to like it, but I also know that, like, it's triggered topics that people are going to be upset by.

[A]

Of course, but that's your specialty.

[B]

I know it's weird you like doing that, but that's the thing. I think people think I'm trying to, like, be dark. It's just kind of who I am.

[A]

Well, you joke around like that off.

[B]

Stage as well, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like. And I think nothing of saying it.

[A]

Well, if you were raised by a guy who took you to a smoke filled off track bedding when you were a little girl. When little girls want to go to the park and hang with their friends, and instead you're around a bunch of fucking gamblers and degenerates.

[B]

I mean, yeah, my uncle. My uncle was a Hell's Angel. Like, it's just my whole. Everyone's crazy in my family.

[A]

Yeah. So it's like the way you make fun.

[B]

Yeah. And I had a friend in grammar school that killed himself, and we all went to the funeral and then went out after. And all of our sense of humor is so dark. And you're like, oh, that's also where I got it.

[A]

Where was this?

[B]

In the Bronx.

[A]

The Bronx. Yeah. Well, the Bronx is. That's a high sense of humor type of place because there's just so much fucked up things going on. Right.

[B]

And everyone's, like, kind of poor.

[A]

Yeah. And they have the darkest senses of humor because they've experienced the most.

[B]

My mom also has a dark sense of humor.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. So, like, it's. It's just. That's kind of passed down, I think.

[A]

Well, I think your mom probably experienced a lot of fucked up things too, obviously. And she was married to your dad, so that helps.

[B]

But like, my dad, cops have the.

[A]

Most fucked up sense of humor. Joke around with cops once they get comfortable with you.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

They see the worst shit all day long.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah. They have the most fucked up senses of humor.

[B]

So do firemen.

[A]

100%. Yep.

[B]

Anyone that has, like a high EMT. Anyone that has a high P. What is it, PTSD?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I date a lot of guys with PTSD.

[A]

That's your thing.

[B]

And I just give them more. It's a cycle of ptsd. All should be hospitalized and institutionalized.

[A]

Do you meet guys after shows? Like, how do you meet them? Like, they kind of have to know what you do before they see you. Otherwise they're gonna go, oh, Jesus Christ.

[B]

I mean, I've had people like that. I think the tour preparing for the special was hard because it was just people coming out that didn't know my sense of humor. And if you don't know that and you're taking a chance on me, I'm not like that person to take a chance on.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or I think sometimes they're like, supporting a woman and I'm like, I'm not the right woman to take a chance on and support. You're just not going to be happy.

[A]

You be so mad at you.

[B]

I've had people walk out. I did that military joke in Texas.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like 20 cowboys just walked out. And I wasn't even saying anything bad about the military. I'm like, we just don't care. We don't care about them.

[A]

Some people are just dumb. And they see it as, this is my chance to make a protest. Let me just get up right now.

[B]

But they. They hung in so long through the show. Whereas, like, that one was it? Yeah. It was probably 50 minutes in.

[A]

Did you crack jokes about Jesus at all?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And they were fine with that. Maybe they were on.

[B]

They didn't walk.

[A]

Maybe Jesus put them to the edge of their sheet.

[B]

It's interesting because both sides have woke things they're upset about. Oh, yeah, you know, I walk people about Ukraine, the Middle East. I was doing jokes about the Middle east and this lady was like, next.

[A]

And you're like, no. I used to have this joke about the Second Coming project. Do you know what the Second Coming project was?

[B]

No.

[A]

It was a thing that they were trying to do. Remember when Dolly the sheep. When they first cloned Dolly the Sheep?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Well, the idea was that they would take genetic material from the Shroud of Turin and they would clone Jesus.

[B]

Great. Do it.

[A]

My joke was, well, cloning is not an exact science. Like, if you want to do it now, like, they had to do like 20 dollies before they got one dolly. Like, real. A lot of them come out all fucked up. Like, what happens if you clone Jesus and he comes back with down syndrome? And so this, the whole joke is kill him anyway, following Jesus around and he's wearing a hockey helmet and turning dog shit into cookies.

[B]

So did they actually do it?

[A]

No, they never did.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's kind of a bullshit thing. But this lady goes, next subject. And I just kept going on with it. I was like, no.

[B]

Religious people are so weird.

[A]

To me, it's not even a religious thing. It's just some people just. They don't want to hear wild. They don't want to hear things you're not supposed to say. They don't hear them all day at work. They come out of a comedy club and they want to sort of apply their sensibility.

[B]

But, like, if you're willing to believe a wild story like that, how about believe this other wild thing could happen, too?

[A]

Well, the thing is, it's not. It wasn't totally a wild story. I think it was people that were ignorant as to the science that were proposing it because they thought this would be the pathway to bring Jesus back.

[B]

What is Jesus going to be doing anyway?

[A]

Well, who knows? I mean, depending upon what that means, right? If that is the pathway, let's just imagine, okay? Everybody is thinking, if you're really religious, you believe that one day we'll have the Rapture and Jesus will return.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

So if God created us in his image, and God instilled in us an insane sense of curiosity that has led people to create things like genetic engineering and Cloning. And then we have an understanding of genetic material not where we are now, but maybe in a future sense where you could literally get a cotton swab from a person and reproduce them. Sure. That's all they need. Cotton swabs, all they need for 23. And mate. Right. They get a little swab in your mouth and they sell your data to China and then.

[B]

But I would never do that.

[A]

I did it. I just want to know what's going on. There's all things.

[B]

What did you find out?

[A]

Mostly Italian, some Irish. 1% Asian, 1.6% African. 8. 1% Asian, 1% Asian, 1.6 percent African. Yeah. I think the Asians probably like Genghis Khan. Shit. I think Genghis Khan just fucks so many people. It's just gotten to so many people, so many different places.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

It's crazy. Yeah. That guy fucked everybody he had there. We've talked about it before, but I always forget the number. There's a certain percentage of people on Earth that have his DNA, and it's astounding. It's an astounding number.

[B]

Pretty cool.

[A]

Well, he also killed 10% of the population while he was alive.

[B]

Yeah. And that's why he was like, repopulating them.

[A]

Well, took a lot of slaves. Sex slaves. They called them wives back in those days, it was different. But when they would conquer people, he just take their wives, take everybody's wife and.

[B]

I mean, it sounds like the thing you should do.

[A]

That was his move.

[B]

It's not bad.

[A]

It's interesting that all these years later and, you know, he thought. He's not thought of as a monster. He thought of as like. Like a historic figure. Yeah, I mean, it was like Hitler times 100. Like.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

He was fucking insane. Like, they used to light bodies on fire and then use them as catapults. They would launch them onto roofs to burn the roofs down. That's how they would scare people. Just take victims.

[B]

What a crazy, crazy way of, like, doing that.

[A]

They did so many insane things. One of the things they did was when they would capture a city, they would take the generals and all the different people and they would create a platform and lay all these people out and then stack the platform on top of them. Then they would all climb on top of the platform and eat. So they would eat lunch while they were crushing these people to death slowly.

[B]

That's crazy. Were the people dead already?

[A]

No, no, no. They killed them that way. Yeah. I think that's how he killed Royals. That was his move for killing Royal People like, instead of just slaughtering them outright and hacking what, they would just kind of crush them. They had a bunch of different ways they would kill people. They would take, when they would capture people, they would use those people at the front of the line and push them towards their own army. So they would sack a City, capture 100,000 people, take those 100,000 people and put them at the front line and press them to go further into the city. And those people would just get slaughtered in front of them and they would eventually kill everybody there.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

It was so crazy that there's a guy named Dan Carlin, he's got an amazing show called Hardcore History. He's got this one episode called the Wrath of the Khan. It's not. It's five episodes, but there's one series and it's all about Genghis Khan. And one of the stories is about the Shah of Khorisma. This shah is making a. He's making a trek to Jin, China to like to see like, what's going on over there. Like, what do you guys got? Talk to the king and see what's happening in your. Whoever the fuck's running your city. And as they're going there, the roads were so fucked up with decayed bodies that they had abandoned the roads because all their wagons were getting stuck in the mud of decaying people. And they looked in the distance, they thought it was a snow covered mountain that they were looking at way in the distance. It turned out it was a pile of bodies. They killed a million people and just stack them on top of each other in the middle of the town. They killed the entire city. They killed everyone.

[B]

That's crazy. And there's no one to clean up the bodies.

[A]

They just left the bodies. They didn't give a. They just kept moving.

[B]

It's wild.

[A]

Imagine living back then.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Your wheelbarrow is getting stuck in someone's head.

[A]

I know. Yeah. If people were taking gender studies in class today back then, back then they were just running for their lives.

[B]

It's crazy. Yeah, I guess that we get to do stuff that's sometimes so dumb and like people are like just fighting to stay alive.

[A]

Well, it's also interesting that like, over time that becomes less and less acceptable. Like the horrors of Gaza when we find out about it today, like, everyone's outraged. Back then wouldn't be the same type of horrors, obviously, because they didn't have missiles, but horrors are just horrors. It's just.

[B]

Yeah, you're just killing people.

[A]

Yeah, so it's way grosser today.

[B]

Well, it's because we also have photos and everything of it. Right. From, like, back then.

[A]

They saw it in real life, which is way worse.

[B]

But you had to be there to see it. Right?

[A]

Right. But if you were alive in 1200. Let's imagine you and I were alive in 1200. How many people do you think we would have seen get slaughtered with swords and arrows and shit in front of us by now?

[B]

Probably a ton. Become desensitized to it.

[A]

It becomes a thing.

[B]

Like when I first started watching the Walking. What is?

[A]

Yeah, Walking Dead.

[B]

Walking Dead. You're like, I can't believe they just did that. And then two episodes in, you're like, oh, this is normal to me. Yeah, it's got to be kind of what have been like, back then, you watch someone's head get blown off, and now you're like, oh, yeah, that's just like a Tuesday.

[A]

Yeah. People get real accustomed to things. And if you're real accustomed to barbaric living and slaughtering people and lighting on fire and launching them and catapults onto the thatched roofs of these houses and watch them burn.

[B]

Right. You can't imagine not doing that. If that's all you say, what you do.

[A]

Yeah, that's what we do.

[B]

That's just what we do.

[A]

Yeah. They didn't wash. They wore their clothes until they rotted off of their skin.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I think if they're, like, catapulting dead bodies, like, who cares what you're wearing?

[A]

Sometimes they just lived off the blood of their horses. They would just drink the horse's blood. That's what they sustain themselves with.

[B]

But then you just need your horse to, like, travel.

[A]

Horse keeps eating. You don't kill them. You just cut a little nick in.

[B]

Their neck and you just suck a horse's blood.

[A]

Yeah, that's what they would do. They would take it and put it in a jar.

[B]

You really could survive. Like, if you were just somewhere by yourself, you could survive. You. I don't think I could, but I think you could survive.

[A]

I would need stuff.

[B]

See, the thing you need a horse.

[A]

You need stuff. You need. You need physical things, like you need shelter and knives and you need something to start a fire with. You need something that you can hunt with.

[B]

Sure, but if I had that same stuff, I would be dead, and you would thrive.

[A]

I wouldn't thrive.

[B]

You would survive for a little while. I didn't know you could drink horse's blood.

[A]

Yeah, but you got to keep that Horse alive. Then you have to. The horse is going to die.

[B]

The horse is eating dead people dead.

[A]

The horses don't eat meat.

[B]

They don't?

[A]

No. They do occasionally eat birds.

[B]

What? If they're starving, they won't eat, like a person.

[A]

No, no. They're not interested in rotting bodies. They're herbivores. But they do occasionally eat birds. There's this really fucked up video of this horse following this bird. Or it's a cow foul. Following this bird around. I've seen horses do it too. Where they found like a ground nesting bird and they just eat it. And the mother birds like flying at them, pecking at them like, shut the fuck up. I'm eating your baby.

[B]

At least she tried.

[A]

Deer do it all the time. Deer do it. It's so bad. Like they had this net that they used to catch birds and the deer found the birds in the net. And so the deer would just go up to the net and feast. Like a grapevine.

[B]

Right. Like a buffet.

[A]

Eat all these birds. And that's when we started understanding that if a deer catches a bird slip and they just eat them.

[B]

Yeah. Why wouldn't you?

[A]

Because they eat plants. It's like.

[B]

Yeah, but a bird is kind of like caviar to them. Probably.

[A]

Probably, yes. A little foie gras.

[B]

Don't mind if I do.

[A]

Yeah. Have you ever seen cows eat birds?

[B]

No.

[A]

Find a video.

[B]

I've only seen cows eat grass.

[A]

They eat birds. It disturbs the out of people who are like peaceful. They're like, you know, I think, you know, the less suffering we have, the better. Like.

[B]

But also a bird can fly away. It's kind of their fault.

[A]

Well, not babies.

[B]

Survival of the fittest. You're dead. You're now dead.

[A]

It's probably nature's way of keeping.

[B]

Why wouldn't you put your birds overwhelming us? Why wouldn't you put your bird nest higher? It's on the mom.

[A]

Look at this. Look at this cow.

[B]

Right into his mouth.

[A]

Yep, yep. Chomp, chomp, chomp. Oh, yum, yum, yum. It's so weird that they decide that they want to eat that. Just weird. It's weird that they just decide.

[B]

Right. Why wouldn't you just eat the kid? Yeah, you're gonna eat that bird.

[A]

Kid comes with people. People have guns. They figure it out after a while.

[B]

You think so they know the guns are coming.

[A]

They know that people can kill them. I definitely think they know that people are in control. I don't think they feel a sense of power.

[B]

Also, you can Eat that kid in one gulp.

[A]

Right? People are going to know.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

You could just eat it in one gulp.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who knows what happened to the kid.

[A]

I don't know what happened to kid. She says, I didn't eat nothing.

[B]

I'll help you look. Yeah, let's all look. You have a shoe in your mouth.

[A]

I'll help you look. Well, that was a legitimate concern for people hundreds of years ago. Your. Your kid would get eaten. Sure, if it's out in the yard. Wolves. I mean, that's like the big bad wolf. That's what all that shit was. Little Red.

[B]

Imagine like, your kid survives cholera and then it just gets eaten.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, I can't believe, right.

[A]

Like, that's not even that long ago that people were dying at cholera.

[B]

How many years you think that was?

[A]

Who knows? I mean, how many different fucking diseases killed people just because of poor sanitation? That's what a lot of that stuff came from.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

A lot of that stuff came from poor sanitation. I mean, just think about how many people were just dying in these cities because of the plague because they'd throw their out the windows. I mean, rats and bugs.

[B]

Yeah. I think I would learn pretty quickly if I threw my shit out the window once that, like, that's not great.

[A]

I think you would think that, but there's people in India that. In the street to this day.

[B]

I mean, I watch a video where there's like a parade and they're just throwing, like. That's part of the parade.

[A]

That doesn't. Is that in India.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Festival or something?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Cow shit's like, different kind of shit. It's gross, but it's not like, human.

[B]

I'm sure you don't think anyone's mixing human in at this dung festival.

[A]

Yeah, I bet they're not.

[B]

I bet they're like, hey, let's. Let's spice it up.

[A]

Yeah, but it's not pure dog.

[C]

As clean as you think.

[A]

Maybe. Oh, Jesus Christ. Just thrown at each other. Imagine like, this is what you sign up for and they're all smiling.

[B]

I don't get the appeal.

[A]

I don't know. Maybe. Maybe how? Like, you know, you. If you eat a lot of sugar, you get that Candida. And maybe if you play with shit enough, you get that shit bacteria.

[B]

I mean, their teeth look so white because they're covered in shit.

[A]

They're just covered in shit, guys. And shower up. This is ridiculous. We had to deal with the infections with the cow.

[B]

What is going on here?

[A]

We won't get any infections from the Cow dung. He says. Wait, what does he say? What was his statement?

[C]

Coronavirus and other viruses.

[A]

But back it up before that. Okay, here heaps of cow dung are brought in one place. We all play in it. We have had to deal with the coronavirus and other viruses, so we believe we won't get any infections from the cow dung. Okay.

[B]

I mean, you see this and then you're like, you know what? It's not that bad that we're doing unboxing videos.

[A]

I mean, these are kind of. These guys are basically content creators.

[B]

They are content creators, but they don't know that. They don't know that we're watching these videos. I mean, can you imagine just being in there and just throwing shit at someone?

[A]

How do they not know now, though.

[B]

It seems like in this day and age. I don't think that's an old video either.

[A]

Do you see when, like, they give Amazon tribes Starlink and they give them.

[B]

Phones, I just thought of Amazon like that. I order stuff from.

[A]

Oh, yeah, not the other one.

[B]

I just want regular Amazon that brings. I order stuff from Amazon. That's like a three dollar thing. And somebody's driving to my house and dropping off, like, whatever it is, floss.

[A]

They figured it out. I never buy toothbrushes from the fucking store. I just. I know, click a link, bam.

[B]

But it's like. So I'm spending such little money for stuff that someone's driving to my house to drop it off.

[A]

Eventually it's just going to be drones.

[B]

I mean, drop it off at your.

[A]

Head, drop it off at your house. And then there's people that. That's the. Those are some of the grossest people. People that steal people's packages, especially during the holidays. Don't even know what's in there.

[B]

But that's the fun. You get in, you're like, this could be a tv. This could be an iPhone. It could all. It could also just be toothbrushes.

[A]

There's so many funny videos of people getting busted, you know, I've seen them.

[B]

Yeah. People are just stealing videos for, like, Christmas.

[A]

If you live in a neighborhood where someone steals your packages, that's such a shitty feeling. There's fucking people in your neighborhood that are clocking what's getting dropped off at your house. Yeah, Chris Rock used to have a bit about putting. If you bought a new tv, you had to be careful putting the box out on the street in the garbage. Because people know you.

[B]

They know you have a new tv. Yeah.

[A]

They want to break in your house, steal your TV.

[B]

I mean, now TVs are like, worth nothing.

[A]

There was nothing. TVs. I remember in 1994, when I first moved here, I got a big TV for the first time. It was fucking big. It was like this big.

[B]

1994 was a great year.

[A]

It was like 24 inches, but it was like you had to pick it up like it was a giant ass tv. Like it had a whole back to it.

[B]

Yeah, it was humongous.

[A]

And then it was one of those years, like 94, 95. They came out with a plasma TV and it was $20,000 and it was like 40 inches and flat. And because it was flat, it looked like shit. It didn't even look good because it was 40 inches and flat. It was like $20,000. I remember thinking, that is the dumbest thing. Like, I'm paying $20,000 for this space behind the TV. I don't care if there's space behind the TV. Yeah, there's like six feet between the TV and the wall. What do I give a fuck? There's an extra 12 inches of TV behind it. What are you stupid? You could pay $20,000 because it's flat.

[B]

I guess people want to hang it on the wall.

[A]

It was a thing to let people know you had it.

[B]

Money.

[A]

Yeah. You had a plasma TV, right? See if you can find a plasma TV from 1995. Ish. They looked like shit. I think it was. Must have been 96, because that was when I first bought a house. They looked like shit. And they were $20,000. I was like, this is crazy.

[B]

They were so heavy, those big TVs.

[A]

Oh, giant. Might not have been 20 grand. I might be exaggerating, but it had to be like 8 or 9. And this was like, again, 95ish. How much did they cost back then?

[B]

I remember that TV right there, the silver one where it like comes with its own stand kind of.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's where you go over to the person's house. That's that person has the super bowl party.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta help. Have friends help you carry that in. So It's Fujitsu. In 95, Fujitsu introduced the first 42 inch. And it was how much money price? No, right there. Sample price for the 42 inch Jeep was 1,000 or 1 million yen. But Fujitsu aimed to sell it for about 500,000 yen per unit. What is that in dollars?

[B]

What's 1 million yen in dollars?

[A]

Like 15,000, 6,000. So 6,500 bucks.

[B]

That's still a lot of money.

[A]

Still a lot of money. So it wasn't 20 grand, Alexandra.

[B]

That's a lot of money.

[A]

But it was just the regular TV was like 100. How much is the regular TV? It wasn't that much money, but if you had that, you were the man. Like, oh, Bobby must be doing really well in Hollywood.

[B]

Look at this, look at that.

[A]

Flat screen television. Oh, ten grand. By the year 2000, prices had dropped at ten grand. Oh, prices had dropped to ten grand.

[B]

So maybe it wasn't, I don't know.

[A]

Interesting. See if it says up there. Oh, 14,000, 15,000. Okay. One of the first flat plasma TVs, I think it was a Phillips that I saw. It was available at four Sears locations in the US for 15 grand.

[B]

Is there Sears anymore?

[A]

I don't know. I haven't seen a Sears forever.

[B]

I remember when I was like a kid, I got like a Sears credit card and I just bought like my ex boyfriend at the time, like rims for his car. That's what you just spend your money on.

[A]

I don't even. I. Sears is almost like the, the Bernstein bears effect. Like the fact he said Sears, I was like, oh, that's a thing I got anymore. But how could that not be a thing? Like, Sears was huge website. Really?

[B]

Do they have any load? There's no locations though.

[C]

I mean, it's giving me a store locator, but it's not showing me a map.

[A]

But that's a weird one. Like Sears, like that had left my memory until this. And then you saying it like, even though I said Sears available, it didn't hit your head. Then you started going Sears. Oh, I remember Sears. And then I was like, I remember Sears. Do.

[B]

Do you remember Nobody beats the Wiz. Do you remember that store?

[A]

Yes. Do you remember Crazy Eddie's?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Crazy Eddie was actually crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Turns out there's nine left. Oh, wow.

[C]

One in Puerto Rico, eight on the mainland.

[A]

Interesting. We should take a road trip just to go to a Sears.

[B]

We should go the one in Puerto Rico.

[A]

We should bring Tony.

[B]

Let's bring Tony. That'd be amazing. First of all, Puerto Ricans were not upset by that. I mean, I'm sure some were, but like my friends were like, I'm still voting for Trump.

[A]

Puerto Ricans can take a joke.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They are some of the best shit talkers on earth.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

It's common in Puerto Rican communities. Just have fun and joke.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

It's not a super sensitive neighborhood. It's a super sensitive ethnic group.

[B]

No, but most people didn't care. They're like, I Don't care.

[A]

It was a stupid thing to do it there, but it turned him into a legend. As long as Trump won. If Trump didn't win, we were gonna have to hide him.

[B]

For real.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna hide him. I was gonna move him to Thailand or something.

[B]

To Thailand?

[A]

Yeah. He's got to get out of the United States.

[B]

For how long now?

[A]

A while. Depending on how bad sideways things go. If Kamala Harris becomes president, the deep state take over and they completely censor all social media. Everybody's guns force vaccinations on all your babies. Everybody gets a sex change. Who knows?

[B]

And he's just in Thailand.

[A]

And he's in Thailand with lady boys, just drinking his life away because he can't believe he fucked it up for one shitty laugh.

[B]

He could go live in Puerto Rico.

[A]

You know, there were stories that were ready to be published if Trump lost. Blaming it on Tony.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Blaming it on that one joke in Madison Square Garden where the facts is. And Tony will tell you, actually, Puerto Ricans voted 26% more for Trump, which is true.

[B]

They probably did.

[A]

Than ever before. Yeah, well, people were fed up. People are fed up.

[B]

I just vote.

[A]

None of this makes any sense.

[B]

I mean, I think, honestly, most people right now, their main concern is, like, they can't even afford groceries.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

So they're like, whoever I think is going to help me with that. Well, listen, I don't know what is true or not true, but, like, people who are like, I can't afford to feed my kids.

[A]

It is so crazy. I was watching this guy, msnbc, and he was dismissing that in terms of, like, when people think a certain way. Like, people have, like, a particular. If they're a leftist or if they're a fundamentalist Christian, they have one thing in common. And that thing that they have in common is they want everyone to think like them.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And this guy was saying that about, like, young people listening to podcasts and they're getting air quotes radicalized, and that we need something that can do this from a feminist perspective and teach young men feminism. The whole thing was so strange. But one of the things he said that was the most strange, he said, instead of, like, these minor grievances like the price of eggs, or someone is teaching you, your kids, something in history that you don't agree with. Instead of those minor things like, what's major then, man? Food for kids. Also, like, food for your family and in history. Well, you know, he said something you don't agree with. Like, what I Don't know what that means. But education is primary. It's one of the most important things for kids. You gotta. For their view of the world, they have to be correctly informed. It really helps if you have a good education. And then if you have food, if you can afford eggs, that really fucking helps. And so this idea that these are minor issues, and the important issue is connecting men to feminists.

[B]

Listen, you can do that if you want. But, like, most people right now are like, I can't afford to pay for groceries for my kids. I don't even have kids. But, like, people are like, I can't afford to buy groceries. Of course, people who are making more money now are like, I can't save any money.

[A]

Yes. Everything's more expensive. People are out of touch. I'm clearly out of touch. Clearly. But I remember when I was poor. I understand it. I really do. And I know what the is going on. And I know people are saying, hey, this isn't a minor deal. This is like one of the biggest deals. You guys fucked up the economy, and you're gaslighting everybody and telling everybody you didn't. You guys have spent billions of dollars on a war that nobody agrees with. Hundreds of billions. And you gaslighting us.

[B]

Yeah. I just also like these teachers that are just, like, spending all their own money for supplies. It's like, what are you doing?

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Why do teachers not have supplies for kids?

[A]

Right?

[B]

And you're right, they are the future generation. So if they don't have food and they don't have. They're not, like, being instructed and, you know, learning stuff. And you have these schools where there's so many kids to one teacher.

[A]

The United States is like someone who owes you money and they say they don't have it and they keep buying cars.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That's what it's like, kind of. It's like, how did you have the money to spend all this money on another country when you don't have any money to spend on the education?

[B]

I mean, homelessness, the veterans.

[A]

Let's just pick education. Like, how much could they fix education with? $175 billion.

[B]

You shouldn't have a teacher that needs to buy supplies.

[A]

Right. Imagine this. Imagine if companies were incentivized. Like, what if they got government grants based on how well the kids performed in the school districts?

[B]

That would be great.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, literally make it like Halliburton for schools. Like, you know, Halliburton. They blew up Iraq. Halliburton comes in and cleans everything up. Have Something that profits off these places getting better. And the better they do in terms of dropping in crime, education rates, graduation rates, college rates, everybody gets more money. Figure that out. Figure that out.

[B]

I mean, they just want more money for prisons.

[A]

They do that, too. That's true.

[B]

If you don't send it on education, then you could just have these people have to turn to crime and put them in prisons, and that's how you'll get money.

[A]

There's a bunch of things they did in the 80s that still fuck with us today, and that's one of them. That's a big one. Then the 80s must have been so wild because there's no computers and it's just like TV in the newspaper and everyone's running wild. And Reagan's the president, so nobody thinks anything's real. Fucking movie star is the president. JFK's dead. Nobody still understands that.

[B]

One was Reagan's wife, the one that was called the Throw Goat.

[A]

Allegedly, yes.

[B]

Give her her flowers. I think she is the Throw Goat.

[A]

I mean, you could bestow that upon someone to besmirk their memory. You could do that.

[B]

It's hard to say, is that necessarily a bad thing?

[A]

But also, the kind of gal that can capture up a president, probably knows how to get things done.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's not necessarily a bad thing. Good for her.

[A]

I think it's a good thing. Yeah, it's. I mean, every guy would agree.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah. It's a good skill for a lady to have. Then there's a problem. How'd you learn that? Unless you're a savant? First dick. You suck. You're just like, wow.

[B]

Somebody had to just figure that out.

[A]

There was classes back in the Roman days.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Oh, yeah, probably. Probably Guys showing each other how to suck each other off. Everybody was blowing everybody back then.

[B]

They're just, you know, throwing bodies on fire. And then also there's throat goat classes.

[A]

What their ball smelled like back then.

[B]

Disgusting. I can't even imagine.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

You'd probably put on their balls so you couldn't smell their actual ball smell like. You're like, I'd rather smell straight. Listen to that. So gross. That has to be the worst mouth.

[A]

Do you ever see how they wipe their asses?

[B]

Where in the Roman times?

[A]

Yeah. They would take a sponge that was on a stick. It was a communal.

[B]

Communal sponge. Why? Did I just see this on, like, Instagram or something? Yeah, it's like, just. I think I'm all. I think I'm all set.

[A]

I went to Pompeii and I took my family there a few years ago. It's really interesting because these people died like instantaneously and then they've sort of uncovered a lot of it. And one of the things that they uncovered was like this communal like shit house. So it's just like these holes around this, like a horseshoe pattern. Yeah, like that. So these holes. So these dudes just sit there and just shat into the ground.

[B]

So it's like kind of a toilet kind of idea.

[A]

But I mean, I don't think there's any water. And there's the sponge. That's the sponge. Look at the word. They had a name for it.

[B]

How often?

[A]

Xylo spongium.

[B]

How often did they change the sponge?

[A]

They couldn't change it enough. Even if you had your own enough. But like a month you're dunking into that fucking. Okay, hold on a second. Academics disagree to its exact use, about which the primary sources are vague. It has traditionally been assumed that a type of shared anal hygiene utensil used to wipe after defecating and the sponge is cleaned in vinegar or water, sometimes salt water. Other recent research suggest it was most likely a toilet brush.

[B]

Yeah, I mean they're probably cleaning a toilet and also your.

[A]

Yeah, maybe it was all those things. Middle of the first century, Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger reported that a Germanic gladiator died by suicide with a sponge on a stick. According to Seneca, the gladiator hid himself in the latrine of an amphitheater and pushed the wooden stick deep into his throat.

[B]

Yo, did he take that sponge off first?

[A]

No, he wanted to die that way. He wanted to suffocate himself. That's how much he didn't want to fight in the gladiator wars.

[C]

He also, shit stick means a thin.

[A]

Steak or stick used instead of toilet paper for anal hygiene and was a historical item of material culture introduced to Chinese Buddhism and Japanese Buddhism. A well known example is. I'm not even going to try to say that word. Where'd it go? Oh, one example, dry shit stick from the Chan Zen. I'm not going to say that word. In which a monk asked, what is Buddha? And Master Yunmen Unman answered, a dry shit stick. Buddha is a dry shit stick because everybody got a shit stick that had everybody else's shit already on it. And you just smear an extra shit on your butt.

[B]

It's like, I'll just have my own shit.

[A]

Yeah, you're dunking it in the water, but how cleans it really get? And then it's just soaked in shit water. And you're taking that and you're wiping your own asshole with it.

[B]

I am glad that I was not. I am glad I was not born during that time.

[A]

What do you think people in the future are going to be saying about this time, though? What are they going to be most shocked that we did? That was so stupid.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Because if we're looking back at Pompeii. What was Pompeii? What year did that go down? 67.67ad yeah, it's pretty wild when you're there. It's. It's weird because you get to see some of the bodies they preserved that are just completely frozen in place. Like the ash overwhelmed them and they're just like. Like a. Almost like a little stone statue. 79 AD you show me some of the photos of the Pompeii victims. So there's like people that are like, just piled on top of each other. Like that's it. Like right there. They just were overwhelmed by ash, just volcanic ash. The volcano, the heat and the gases just killed everybody, like almost instantly. Just completely overran the town. It's pretty insane. That is insane because it's just weird that people don't know that, like, when they're building these cities, they don't know that that can happen. Like, look at that.

[B]

I mean, I wouldn't know that that can happen.

[A]

No, no one knew back then, but I mean, we know now. Look, look at that. That's so crazy. That's what it looks like. I mean, that's a human being that was just literally turned into a statue in place. There was one where these two guys were embracing and someone tried to say that it was perhaps they were lovers. And someone on Twitter was a very funny comment. They're like, jesus Christ. Imagine dying in front of your friend. Then everybody finds it like, oh, I knew he was gay.

[B]

Imagine, like jerking off, right?

[A]

You die in the middle of it. You have your dick, you have your.

[B]

Hand on your balls, and you're just fucking now. Frozen in time like that forever.

[A]

But at least nobody knows who you are.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Yeah, those are the guys.

[B]

I don't know those people. Yeah, that looks. That's on the way down.

[A]

Yeah. Fucked up. Way to go. Instantaneously.

[B]

Like, that's Bob and Tom.

[A]

When I was a kid, Mount St. Helens blew up. What year was that, Jamie? Mount St. Helens was in the Pacific Northwest. It was a big deal because it was an actual real volcano that killed people in the United States. And we were like, whoa, like what? I thought volcanoes were like in other countries. 1980. So I was not even in high school. Yeah, that was, that was a crazy one. How many people died from Mount St. Helens? Yeah, they, they knew was an active volcano, but they didn't. Wow. It's like people live on the side of active volcanoes. Like in Hawaii there's a bunch of people that live on the side of an active.

[B]

When I was in Hawaii, I think there was one of the volcanoes did go off.

[A]

Yeah, it happened when I was there too, at the Big Island. The Big island is very active. There's crazy film. Lava overcoming this Mustang. Have you ever seen it?

[B]

No.

[A]

There's a Mustang parked in front of the street and the lava is coming from this eruption and it just slowly consumes the street and eats this car right in front of this dude's house. Like these people have been living there chilling their whole life. Coming home from school, hi, mom, I'm home.

[B]

Does your insurance cover that?

[A]

Probably not. They try to cover as little as possible if you live on the side of an active volcano, like, it's like.

[B]

Hey, I'm gonna get volcano insurance.

[A]

Yeah, that's, that's up to you, player.

[B]

But I want, I want to have my expensive car.

[A]

Yeah. I had a friend who, he had some crazy situation. I think he had like flood insurance, but he didn't have damage from water from a hurricane insurance. So like your roof can get destroyed from a hurricane and you don't have insurance for that, but you have insurance if like your pipes break. Like he got fucked in some sort of a weird loophole.

[B]

What's weird too with stuff like that, anytime. It's like an adjuster. If you get the right adjuster, they can do whatever you want, but you have to get an adjuster who's gonna do it. Like I used to call and do like appeals for health insurance stuff and if you kind of sweet talk someone, they might just put it through for you. You have to just keep calling back until you get an adjuster that's going to give you what you want.

[A]

Or you have to charm them in person.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's what. Because they're just regular people.

[A]

Right. And they could decide.

[B]

Absolutely. They hold so much power sometimes.

[A]

That's a crazy power to have.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You can get your house fixed.

[B]

Right. Or like your car is totaled and we're going to pay for it or we're not.

[A]

Yeah. Or you're going to have a shaky ass car for the rest of your life as you Take it on the highway. You ever had a car that's fixed that really probably shouldn't have been fixed?

[B]

I mean, my first car I had was, like, a Ford Tempo. And I remember the steering wheel, like, came off in my lap as I was driving it. And I was just like, picked it up and just kept driving.

[A]

You put it back on.

[B]

Oh, I should not have been driving that car.

[A]

Oh, my God. When you're a kid and you buy shit boxes, like, the chances of those things just completely falling apart as you're driving are so high.

[B]

My dad also would just, like, want to paint a car. So he would just, like, start painting a car and prime it, like, half of it, and then he would give up. So we'd have, like, a two colored car as a child. It's like, so embarrassing.

[A]

Yeah. If you have a poor car.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we had poor cars.

[A]

Yeah, Poor cars all the time.

[B]

And then my mom got into a car accident. Then we got a car with that money. Oh, the Ford Tempo was, like, five grand. Had, like, bright red pleather inside.

[A]

Bright red pleather.

[B]

I remember. Yeah. I was driving with that car, me and my friends on the highway, and I'm like, oh, Steering wheel just came down, but it's still connected. So I just pick it up and, like, make the turn.

[A]

Oh. So, like, the thing that adjusts, the steering wheel dropped off.

[B]

I don't know. It just, like, fell in my lap when I was driving, and I just picked it up and, like, still drove it.

[A]

Jesus Christ. There's a lot of those cars out there. That's why we need inspections, Adrian. It's very important.

[B]

My dad, though, knew a guy who would just keep passing that car.

[A]

Yeah, those guys are a problem.

[B]

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. It's like the right. It's a person that's, like, not an adjuster, but, like, if you know them, they'll do it for you.

[A]

Yeah. My friend was telling me about that for muscle cars in Los Angeles, that there's a place you can go in, like, the hood, and this guy will completely pass, like, any car. I was like, that sounds like an FBI sting.

[B]

Yeah. But, I mean, there's so many things like that.

[A]

Yeah. Well, especially in New York.

[B]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah.

[A]

New York is all about knowing a guy.

[B]

All about knowing a guy. It's all about, like, what you can get away with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

New York City is disgusting. And I've lived there my whole life. I hate it. But I can't imagine, like, living anywhere permanently for the rest of my life.

[A]

What do you think is going to be the hardest adjustment about moving here?

[B]

I don't know. I'm not sure. I mean, I can't live here during the summer. I can't do it. Like flying roaches, whatever. Like, whatever those things are, I just can. I'm out.

[A]

Jamie, do you experience a lot of flying roaches?

[B]

I just see them out. Like it was like 105° here when I came last June, Madari. And it was just like we were in his H. He got a really nice Airbnb.

[A]

He probably brought them with him.

[C]

There were a lot of crickets this year, but I don't think that was. That's different.

[B]

I mean, I was in the room, in the bathroom, and there was one like this big.

[A]

A roach.

[B]

Whatever. Maybe they're cicadas, whatever they're called.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Cicadas are very different than roaches.

[B]

They look like roaches.

[A]

People eat them.

[B]

Sure, people eat people. Like, I mean, like, it doesn't make it cool or right, but like, you could eat whatever you want.

[A]

No, but I mean, it's like Adele delicacy. Like, people enjoy it.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

No, like, I know a lot of. I know a guy who does it.

[B]

God bless. That's not for me.

[A]

My friend Ryan Callahan, he had a recipe how to cook cicadas.

[B]

Don't they look like big roaches, though?

[A]

Feel like a bug.

[B]

Anyway, I go to get Ari to kill it and he's like, oh, it just flew. And I'm like, what? That is like a new fear unlocked. It flew.

[A]

It probably was a cicada. It probably wasn't.

[B]

Maybe it might not have been a roach, but, like, that's what a cicada looks like.

[A]

Fucking cool. They're fucking cool. See if you find cicada recipes. See if you can find Ryan Callahan's cicada recipe. My friend Ryan, he would cook them with, like, teriyaki sauce and bake them. Yeah, apparently. Look, I've gone to Mexico before, and at certain resorts in Mexico, they'll serve you like fried crickets.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Have you seen that?

[B]

I've heard about it, yeah.

[A]

Fried crickets or grasshoppers. I forget which one. One. But they're good. They taste good.

[B]

They're probably crunchy.

[A]

Yeah, crunchy. And it was kind of salty. It's pretty good. It's actually not bad for you, like, legitimately.

[B]

It's protein, right?

[A]

Yeah, it's the same kind of animal protein that you get from a lot of different things. But protein from cicadas is apparently Particularly good. It's like they're. Because they're big, I guess. Probably a lot of protein. Those little.

[B]

I mean, I just remember being out, like, outside on, like a bar here, and they were just.

[A]

That's all it is for you is the bugs.

[B]

The heat's not great.

[A]

You can handle the heat.

[B]

I could handle the heat over those bugs.

[A]

Just stay away from the bugs. I don't run.

[B]

They fly.

[A]

Adrian, I'm telling you, you're hanging out in the wrong spots. I'll show you where.

[B]

Maybe I'm in the poor places, but, like, the bugs are just. I can't deal with the flying.

[A]

The bugs are. It's not that big of a deal. The mosquitoes are a pain in the ass sometimes.

[B]

I don't care about that. I mean, yeah, it's not great, but, like, those big things I can.

[A]

Like Lady Bird Lake. If you go around there, you're going to. There's going to be a lot of mosquitoes. They're all over the fucking place. But that's also what the bats keep in check. Have you seen the bat emergence before?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, it's fucking cool. Shit.

[B]

Bats are actually pretty cute.

[A]

Well, there's a. There's the bridge, right? This is South Congress Bridge. And if you go by the South Congress Bridge, there's people every night that are waiting for the bats to leave because millions of bats leave, so. As billions of critters have emerged for seven years. So is this Ryan. Okay, so you're showing. So you peel off the skin of these little fuckers.

[B]

What is this guy doing?

[A]

That's not Ryan Callahan. I don't know who that guy is.

[C]

I couldn't find a video of him doing it then.

[A]

Okay, but. So this guy's just showing how you cook cicadas. So he's basically taking away the outside area. And he made a cicada taco for this kid and this lady, and they're eating it with a. Hmm. She said she's freaking out. Whatever. Yeah, she says, not bad. What was I just talking about before that, though? We're moving on to something else.

[B]

Oh. What I'll miss about being in. Being here as opposed to New York.

[A]

Yeah, we talked about. Oh. Oh, the bats. That's what we're talking about. Show the bats emerging from the South Congress Bridge. It's really crazy. I've seen. I've only done it once, where I went out. It's like a million mats. It's like the sky fills with bats and they kill all the mosquitoes. They're death.

[B]

Why are they not eating this?

[A]

Look at them.

[B]

It's also. That's pretty cool, though. Yeah.

[C]

I've never seen the photos of it.

[A]

It's pretty badass. I've seen it live like that. And. And if you go under that bridge, you hear them. Yeah. Little flying rats clinging to.

[B]

What else do they eat? They can't eat just mosquitoes.

[A]

Mosquitoes. They're mosquito killers. They keep the mosquitoes in check. They probably eat a bunch of bugs. I'm sure they don't only dine on mosquitoes, but they're a significant factor in keeping the mosquito population down. Allegedly. That's what I read. It's fine if that's true. I think it's true, though. I think it's true. I think that's one of the main things they.

[B]

My friend had a. He lives in, I guess, the country, and he's, like, trying to put up those places where bats will come to eat the mosquitoes. Like, I guess you put up those little bat houses or whatever, but pheromones in them, I guess. And he can't get them to come there because he has a lot of mosquitoes. Because he lives by a lake.

[A]

Yeah. I bet bats. It's hard to get them to move into new hair areas, you know, because I bet wherever bats live, if they live by a lake, there's probably plenty of bugs. Like, why would they take a risk to go somewhere where they're not sure if resources exist?

[B]

I mean, they could just fly.

[A]

Right. But they live under this bridge, and they've been on this bridge forever.

[B]

Well, yeah, I don't think he's gonna.

[A]

Get these bats, but you know what I'm saying? Like, when bats find a spot that works, they're not migratory.

[B]

Right. They're just gonna stay there.

[A]

Yeah, they're just gonna stay there. So to get them to go to a new spot, he's probably gonna have to bring bats. We actually had a bat expert on the podcast.

[B]

Do you know what I need? I didn't. I need an expert for pantry moths.

[A]

We'll try to find you one.

[B]

I mean, I have pantry moths for the last three months, and I can't get rid of them.

[C]

They do migrate.

[A]

Where they go, they migrate seasonally, flying south for the winter and then returning north in the spring. Interesting.

[C]

Yeah, that's how I heard about it, because there's a bunch more in Houston.

[A]

Right. So they. Probably because Houston doesn't get as coal, probably, but they probably have, like, an established range is what my point is. It's like bringing them to a new range, like to your friend's place is going to be difficult because there's not a history of them being there. But I wonder if. What was that dude's name? What does it say? It says they eat between 10,000 and 30,000 pounds of insects, including mosquitoes, and every night on their nightly flight. And harmful agricultural pests.

[B]

They gotta be.

[A]

So Austin's bats are. They're fucking huge. They really. They come in handy. But fuck, what was I asking about other than that?

[C]

Merlin Tuttle.

[A]

Yes, that's his name, Merlin Tuttle. So he is a bat expert and he lives in Austin as well. Fascinating dude. He's been studying bats his whole life. He's a scientist.

[B]

Is there still new stuff to find out about bats?

[A]

Sure, yeah. I mean, bats carry a lot of weird diseases. That's one thing, you know, like there's crossover diseases. That's the coronavirus, essentially. It was a bat disease that they took and fucked with and made it vulnerable for humans. So they. They've done a lot of work with like, bats and diseases. One of the craziest stories, though, there's these two doctors or two scientists rather, and they. They were in Africa and they decided to set up photography to film these bats as they were flying out of the cave. Because there's a certain cave in Africa that has like some fucking insane number of bats. It's just filled with them. And when these bats flew out, they shit. So these guys are on the ground in front of the Batcave filming didn't take into account. They're going to be covered in batshit. Just millions and millions of bats shitting in their face. And they died. They died of crazy hemorrhagic virus that just raged through their system. If you imagine you are a human being and you're essentially intravenously taking in bat into your system. It's going in your eyeballs, it's going in your mouth. Turn of events, it's going through the. The blood brain barrier, the bat shits getting into your blood and it's circulating through your whole body and you just develop a horrible hemorrhagic.

[B]

So you can't play in that. Like you can play in cow.

[A]

No, I don't think so. I think. Well, bats eat a lot of, like, living organisms. Not unlike cows, you know, these crocodiles. Orange bat poop has turned these African cave crocodiles.

[B]

I mean, that orange crocodile, that's pretty cool. That's a pretty dope pair of boots.

[A]

No shit, right? Like natural. Nice Natural orange crocodile from bat poop. You know the bat guano is a very potent fertilizer. Right. Because bat guano has like it's. I think it has high levels of nitrogen. I think that comes from them eating all the insects. So that like there used to be wars over batshit. And that's where the term batshit crazy comes from. Yeah, Guano was like a very expensive commodity because people needed it to grow crops. So if you could get crazy. Yeah. Bat guano is apparently very potent fertilizer.

[C]

They have a 4300 year old poop core in a Jamaica and cave that they've been studying. What 5000 different species of bats have been on for.

[A]

Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Deposited in. Wow. Sequential layers by generations of bats for over 4300 years and it's 2 meters tall. That is so crazy. Largely undisturbed and holds information about changes in climate and how the bats food sources shifted over the millennia. Wow.

[B]

Imagine going to Jamaica for spring break and that's where you go.

[A]

That is so crazy. That's so nuts.

[C]

I'm trying to find a picture of it, but I don't see it.

[A]

You know what I'm really fascinated with is things that existed like only in myth, but that every culture has like dragons. Like I had this guy, Forrest Gallant, he's a wildlife biologist and he thinks that there's a real possibility that dragons were an actual thing and that.

[B]

Well, when they have lived, like when dinosaurs were around.

[A]

No, no, they lived alongside humans. That's why there's all these records in all these different cultures. And you know, there's Chinese culture has dragons, Japanese culture has dragons, Ancient Europeans have dragons. Like dragon is a root, not a fire breathing. That seems to be bullshit, but maybe.

[B]

Even what kind of like what would their purpose be?

[A]

Well, they're probably like a crocodile that flies. There was probably like more than one kind of really dangerous reptile that they called dragons. Like Komodo dragons.

[B]

Right. Komodo dragons.

[A]

Giant lizard they called a dragon. Right. Crocodiles dragons. The question is whether or not one of them actually flew because we know that pterodactyls were a real thing and.

[B]

If pterodactyl they probably were real, then.

[A]

Yeah, I think it's probably something like that. You know, some kind of like enormous bird type creature.

[B]

I only want a dragon if it's going to like just have fire come out of its mouth all the time. Yeah, that's the only kind of dragon.

[A]

Stick it on your enemies.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Shut the fuck up.

[B]

You know Send it to your.

[A]

Like when you're Game of Thrones and that lady standing there. And then you see the dragon's head slowly.

[B]

I've never watched Game of Thrones. I know.

[A]

How dare you.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

I keep trying to get into it and I can't.

[A]

The new one is. Nah. No, but I mean the old one is so good. It's so good. It's so good it makes you want a dragon. The lady who. Vanessa was her name. Veneris, who had the dragons, Is that her name?

[B]

I have no idea. You didn't watch it either? Could you not get into it?

[A]

It's too busy playing video games and golf.

[B]

Bring me your. Bring me your.

[A]

Oh, what are you in a reality?

[B]

Bring me your puppy right now. Bring me Carl.

[A]

I don't like fantasy.

[C]

Not that kind.

[B]

Yeah, I don't. What kind of fantasy do you like either?

[C]

I don't know. I sci fi stuff a little more.

[A]

Have you seen Three Body Problem? No, I.

[C]

It was on my list to watch it and started.

[B]

Is it good?

[A]

Really good. Really? By the guys who made Games of Thrones or the gals or non binary folks. Whoever the fuck it is.

[B]

Whoever made it.

[A]

Whoever made Game of Thrones? Some. That's a thing that you repeat without looking any further. I don't know what producers or whatever, but the point is, like, it is a really, really good show. Like really fun and science fiction. And my wife, who's not even into science fiction, she loves it.

[B]

I gotta check it out. I really want.

[A]

It's good.

[B]

I really want Carl.

[A]

Carl. Isn't he adorable?

[B]

He's so cute.

[A]

Yeah. He's got to rest up for Marshall in about 15, 20 minutes. Gonna meet Marshall again.

[B]

Marshall is like. Marshall's just happy right now.

[A]

Oh yeah, he's happy when Carl's nowhere near him.

[B]

He's like, carl, please. I can't.

[A]

Especially if, like he doesn't have a toy where they could play tug of war.

[B]

Right?

[A]

If they could play tug of war, it's cool. But Carl is just awesome.

[B]

Oh yeah. As soon as I came in, he was just like biting my sneaker.

[A]

Yeah, he just wants to fight.

[B]

He just wants to play. He's still so young, though.

[A]

Yeah, he's a little baby, but he's also a crazy dog. Like he's.

[B]

He's not little.

[A]

Little torpedo. He launches himself through the air at Marshall.

[B]

Yeah, he's like, if he was a person, he'd be a dictator. He's like nuts.

[A]

He'd be a gladiator he'd be one of those dudes act. Yeah, he'd be one of them dudes fighting. He'd be like that. He wouldn't be the guy that killed himself with the shit sponge.

[B]

No, he'd be killing people with the shit sponge, just plunging it right in their throat.

[A]

But you imagine if, like, today was the lion fight. You're like, I don't want to do this. I'd rather choked to death on a shit stick. Imagine how bad life is.

[B]

Yeah, I think you're like, I'm just gonna off myself.

[A]

Imagine like that's all you have to kill yourself is a shit stick. I mean, how bad your life has to suck to take this sponge covered in other people's and just bypass your gag instincts and stuff it down your hole until you die?

[B]

Imagine you don't die right away either.

[A]

You definitely don't die right away.

[B]

You're just like. Like ingesting those fumes.

[A]

Yeah, you. You're filling up in the middle of killing yourself by stuffing it.

[C]

I think someone thought that would kill them and they just tried smelling it until they died. And it didn't work.

[A]

Nah, they're probably used to that kind of smell.

[B]

It's like smelling salt. I bet that wakes you right up.

[A]

You want some?

[B]

No. I used to work at a place that. Oh, I'll do it, but I'm not going to do it that close. Oh, that's what people do with the shit stick.

[A]

Oh, my God. That was the biggest one I ever got, ever. Oh, my God. I thought it lost a little bit of potency from the other day. Yo, like a delayed reaction. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That one hit me harder than anyone.

[B]

I've ever been that close to me. It's like chlorine, but the most chlorine. So I worked at a place that ammonia abortions. It was like an OB gyn and they used to have that stuff to, like, wake people up.

[A]

Oh, fun.

[B]

Oh, God, that is so bad.

[A]

You want to try it again?

[B]

No, I don't.

[A]

You don't? You sure?

[B]

I'm not a gamble.

[A]

Give you a couple minutes.

[B]

I'm not a gambler.

[A]

Doesn't matter.

[B]

I'll do it from further away.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's one of those things where everybody does it and like, what the.

[B]

Again.

[A]

Let me try it again. Let me try it again. Everybody wants to try it again.

[B]

That's brutal.

[A]

Yeah, it's rough. It's rough stuff.

[B]

What do they use that for besides weightlifters? If they get knocked out.

[A]

No, no, no. They take it right before they power lift. Why it get it, like, apparently, I don't know the actual science. Maybe Jamie can look it up. The idea, I think that is. It shocks your system, like, just jolts everything alive. And then you're like, fuck it, you can lift more weights. Allegedly.

[B]

That's crazy, because I didn't even have it that close to my face.

[A]

They used to use it with boxers, but they made it illegal. They would put it under a boxer's.

[B]

Nose to wake them up, right?

[A]

To wake them up, yeah. If they got, like, rocked and hurt, they would snap them back. I don't even know if it works.

[C]

Athletes use it.

[B]

What is that? What is it though?

[A]

Is it legal for them?

[C]

Yeah, they're using the smaller versions, but yeah.

[A]

Why can't boxers use it then?

[C]

I don't know that they can't.

[A]

I don't think they can. I think smelling salts are illegal in between rounds. I think it actually was an issue that somebody brought up because I think someone was asking why someone. It was one of the fight men in the ufc. One of the. Excuse me, one of the cut men in the UFC was holding someone's nose open after they got rocked, like, with his finger. But it was just to create the more airway.

[C]

It says because they can call. They can mask more serious injuries and cause further harm.

[A]

Right, right, right.

[C]

That's what just in boxing is why it's.

[A]

Yeah, that makes sense. So, like, if you get rocked and then they give you the smelling sauce, you might think you're okay, but really, you're still fucked up.

[B]

Right.

[C]

The worst injury from them is. Is what this is backing up when I was looking into it is whiplash. It's not like burning your nose.

[A]

That's hilarious.

[B]

I was like, from just going from the.

[C]

Because you can't not react that way.

[A]

That's hilarious.

[C]

People that are more hurt get up more.

[A]

You need to do some neck exercises, homie. Getting whiplash from that. That's ridiculous.

[B]

You get into a car accident and you wanna. You want, like, to get more money, so you just do that for whiplash.

[A]

A couple blasts of that.

[B]

What is that stuff? Like what? It just smells like ammonia.

[A]

I think it is ammonia. Yeah. That's all it is. Yeah, it's just ammonia in, like, crystal form. But this is. This company is. It's this. The product is called. Ah, this is the strongest one we've ever.

[B]

I mean, I've smelled it before too, but, like, that is very strong. It was like, it was like, here. And I smelled it.

[A]

Yeah, it was this. Smelled so bad that it smelled inside the sealed container. So it had a sealed plastic container on the outside. I had to open that. I could smell through the container before it was even open. Then once I unsealed it and opened the bag while this was sealed and with, like, a top to the lid, like, so there's the top that's, like, sealed over the bottle and then the lid on top of the top.

[B]

And you still smelled it?

[A]

Still smelled it through that with, like, the plastic seal. You gotta pull the seal back and everything. Once we opened it up, I could. It's just. It's insane. Whatever the fuck is in, whatever it.

[B]

Does to yourself, how does it, like, get it in crystal form? No. Okay, you do first.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Why would you go that close? That's pretty close.

[A]

Okay, your turn. Get in there, girl. Big breath, big breath, big breath, big breath. Oh, no, that was.

[B]

I smelled enough.

[A]

That was nothing.

[B]

I don't care. I'm not gonna breathe in. I'm gonna lie. I'm gonna pretend I'm doing it.

[A]

You did it.

[B]

That first time is, like, brutal.

[A]

Yeah. Doesn't it wake you up, though?

[B]

It does.

[A]

Yeah. So if somebody had rocked you, if you're in there with some girls boxing you up, right? Piecing you up and they just smell that, get you in the corner, you're like.

[B]

I can see it making you, like, angry too.

[A]

Yeah. I would think it'd probably be good to mask any symptoms of you being hurt.

[B]

They should have had that on the stick.

[A]

Yeah. Imagine just swallowing a ball that to kill yourself.

[B]

Yeah, but that's better.

[A]

Probably take a long time.

[B]

You don't think you would die from that right away. It's ammonia.

[A]

I wonder. Okay. How much ammonia would you have to consume for it to be lethal?

[B]

Jamie, I feel like a cup.

[A]

This is not even a cup.

[C]

Well, that's in Christmas amount of time you're probably doing it.

[A]

But if you just down this whole thing, it should kill you. Yeah, the whole thing. I feel like we shouldn't be giving anybody any idea.

[B]

Probably not. People were, like, eating Tide Pods. Don't.

[A]

They were right. That was.

[B]

That's a crazy time.

[A]

I think China did that to us. I think they tricked us. Yeah. They got some, like, fake people to pretend to eat Tide pods and talk. Dumb kids.

[B]

I remember when they were locking up detergent because kids were eating Tide Pods. Where you're like, I don't know, man. If you're eating those type pods, you deserve It.

[A]

Yeah, we're always going to have kids that do stupid. There's no way around that.

[B]

Tide pods is probably.

[A]

I was lucky tie pods weren't around when I was a kid.

[B]

You would have definitely been eating them.

[A]

I know somebody who would have ate them. There's always that one kid in the neighborhood will do anything, get attention.

[B]

They do feel cool, though. They're like soft.

[A]

And what is in them?

[B]

Detergent.

[C]

Oh, sorry. Tide Pods.

[A]

What are you saying, Jim?

[C]

They were saying this is probably how this got into sports. They thought it counteracted head trauma, right.

[A]

Like 15 years ago wakes you up.

[C]

Not just, but I mean fully. Like if you were knocked out, right? Which you have and you had a. I know it would wake you up. But like, they thought it like fixed you, right?

[A]

They thought it brought you back. Well, they didn't know back then.

[B]

Still smell it.

[A]

I mean, when do you think they figured out brain damage? When they start figuring out if you get punched in the head too many times, you. You lose your ability to communicate.

[B]

I think they probably knew it pretty early and they were like, I'm betting on this game, though. Let them keep hitting each other.

[A]

Well, they definitely knew about it because boxers were washed up even in the 50s and the 60s. But I don't think they understood the extent of it until probably like the 60s and the 70s. People started discussing, like being punch drunk, punch drunk boxers. Like, I think boxers knew about it, but I think like the general public, it wasn't really a big thing.

[B]

What about football? People like, you know, concussions and stuff?

[A]

Yeah, for sure. They get it real bad. All of them, all contact athletes, your head getting jarred like that. But I think for us, the big one was Muhammad Ali, because Muhammad Ali was such a cultural hero. And to see Muhammad Ali in this later stages of his life, like, unable to communicate and shaking is like very disturbing. Because as much as they try to tell you that had nothing to do with boxing, like, come on.

[B]

It definitely did.

[A]

Of course it did.

[B]

You jostling your brain around.

[A]

But there's also a trauma induced Parkinson's is a real thing, right? And so when you see people that are. Freddie Roach, who's a. He was a boxer and now is a famous trainer, he has trauma induced Parkinson's, is a shake that he tells you is from his career as a boxer. It's just something that happens to people. And so when you see it happen to someone like Muhammad Ali, like, fuck.

[B]

Right? Because this guy's like the sign of strength.

[A]

Oh, not just a sign of Strength. But the way he would talk was so different than any other boxer. He was so fast. He was so funny. Like, Howard Cosell called him truculent once. He seemed very truculent. Champ, he goes, whatever trucking is, if it's good, I'm that.

[B]

That's a great answer.

[A]

He had so many funny things that he said. He was the first guy that was, like, talking in a funny way and getting the whole world to pay attention, you know? He said one of his opponents, I forget who was. He goes, have you ever dreams he beat me, you better wake up and apologize.

[B]

That's funny.

[A]

He just said some funny, funny things he would say. But also, like, refused to fight in the Vietnam War. He said, hey, man, fuck you. I'm not going over there.

[B]

Yeah, good for him.

[A]

Yeah. And then lost his title, lost his ability to make a living for three years because of it. Like, the prime three years of his career was taken from him because he refused to fight in the Vietnam War. So he was a lot more than just a fighter. He was like a cultural icon who defined rebelling against a corrupt and evil system. And then, you know, eventually, at the end of his life, he was a victim of the sport that made him famous. And we watched it, right? And that's the first time we ever watched someone go from. You know, just celebrated for the way he talked to being unable to communicate at all.

[C]

This gives two very different versions of when it was discovered.

[A]

Ancient Egypt. Yeah. 1848. Phineas Gage, a railroad worker, survived a traumatic brain injury when an iron rod shot through his skull and destroyed much of his left frontal lobe. Gage's personality changed dramatically and his case considered a landmark in the study of brain damage and personality.

[C]

So we have pictures of that.

[A]

Yo, let's see the pictures. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

[C]

It says it went right through.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Apparently feel much pain.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[C]

Heath was throwing up for every 20 minutes, but he was lucid and remained talking the whole time.

[A]

So he just made, like, his hair part over the hole in his head.

[C]

He had obliterated his left frontal lobe. Oh, he survived the accident of 13 inch railroad rod.

[A]

Is that the rod that he has in his hand?

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

Oh, Christ.

[B]

He kept it.

[C]

That could be a gun or something.

[A]

No, that looks like the rod, dude. Yeah. Yeah, that's the thing that went through his fucking head. And he lived.

[B]

And now he's keeping it.

[A]

Oh, that's what it looked like. Oh, my God.

[B]

Wait, so it didn't go through his.

[A]

Eye, it went through his head. And destroyed his eye. What do you think that. What did it say it did to his personality?

[C]

That's why. So this was, like, the first study in psychologists Change psychology and.

[A]

Right. What did they say? How did they say it affected his personality? Phineas Gage. On second thought, that's interesting. What does that say that on the top, the title of it for profane and hostile Afterwards, a reexamination of the famous case of a man whose personality changed from a grievous brain injury. Huh. Okay, wait a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard to know. This is a funky site. The dude who runs outside is funky.

[B]

I mean, I bet he wasn't a good time to be around.

[A]

Well, it does definitely dramatically change people. Like, I was reading about this guy who developed an ability to see mathematics in, like, geometric form, and it's called acquired savant syndrome. So this guy started creating, like, geometric art. Like, apparently had no interest in mathematics at all. And then I think he got mugged. I think he got beat up and then developed some bizarre mathematical ability.

[B]

I mean, that's better than the people that have, like, traumatic brain injuries and become pedophiles. Like, definitely true. Pray for the mathematic genius.

[A]

Well, I know quite a few comics of Adam, Roseanne, Barr, Kinison, both got hit by cars. Both changed their personalities dramatically afterwards. It's probably like quite a few people just got knocked in the head and then just became a different person.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It was really weird. It's a sketchy thing.

[B]

Oh, no, your joke was about somebody taking medicine.

[A]

Oh, the joke about. Yeah, the Parkinson's drug.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

It's so crazy. Yeah. It's called a dopamine agonist. And apparently with some people, it completely removes their inhibitions.

[B]

Right. He was gambling.

[A]

Gambling. Gay sex just went off the rails.

[B]

And what did you say, he lost, like, 600,000 or something?

[A]

Somewhere in the neighborhood of that. Yeah, lost everything.

[B]

But then when he stopped taking the drug, he was okay, got back to normal.

[A]

He's like, what the fuck was I doing? He won in court, which is the craziest thing. Yeah, he sued the Laxo Smith, but he lost. He lost as much money as he gained back. And he was also raped twice. No raped once. I think he just.

[B]

He was raped or he was raped. He was raped.

[A]

Yeah. He picked a guy up off Craigslist.

[B]

I guess he didn't see that.

[A]

He just became addicted to gay sex and gambling.

[B]

It's crazy to, like, stop doing that. And then you're like, wow, I remember all those dicks I took. Yeah, that was a crazy time.

[A]

Well, he was a different human. Like, his brain, like, we don't think about it this way, but your brain is essentially this functional ecosystem of all these different things. Dopamine and serotonin, all these neurotransmitters, and then the blood that's flowing through your body, it's all operating on this sort of, like, fairly regular schedule of what's available to use and how you interpret consciousness based on the chemicals. And then all of a sudden, you introduce this new shit, and this new shit makes you want to suck cock and play bingo.

[B]

It's just crazy that both of those things are, like, the same in this guy's head.

[A]

Well, it's just wild impulses. I'm sure he had probably other impulses. I don't know if he got more violent, but that. That sometimes happens where people, like, can't control. You know, like, someone cuts you off in traffic and you idiot.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Well, they just fucking can't take it. They just want to just drive someone off the road. They just lose their impulse control. That happens to people with CTE as well. A lot of people with cte, they have a very short fuse. Like, very short fuse.

[B]

Didn't they think that happened when Aaron Hernandez.

[A]

Yeah, they said he had the worst CTE I think, that they had ever diagnosed, and he was alive in 28. You know, so he wasn't always dead, obviously, because they did an autopsy. But, I mean, he was alive at 28 before he killed himself with the worst CTE they had ever seen. So it hadn't even killed him.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But it destroyed his brain. I mean, his brain was destroyed. It was just filled with holes.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Crazy. And they said that when they studied football players, there's some extraordinary number of football players that have CTE. It's in, like, the high 90 percents. And this is not just college. This is high school football.

[B]

But all those people that have those high CTE counts, like, they're not killing people either.

[A]

Some of them are, you know.

[B]

Not a lot.

[A]

No, not a lot. But the thing about it is, first of all, when it's over, you. There's a lot of them that wind up killing themselves. That's a big thing with. That happens with fighters. It happens with soldiers. Also, the ptsd, compounding the fact they have brain injuries, a lot of heavy depression. So 345NFL player, former NFL players with chronic traumatic encephalopathy, out of 376 former players studied. So out of all those people studied, only 31 dudes didn't have it. So it's 91.7%. Among those diagnosed in the last year, two former players who once represented the teams paired in this Sunday Super Bowl. Former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback. Could you do me a favor and just google Aaron Hernandez cte. What results?

[C]

The second highest you could have. I don't know the stages, but stage three. Worst you'd ever seen in someone that young.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cuz he was. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. He wasn't playing as long as some of these other people.

[A]

That's what's crazy. Range of symptoms including emotional and behavioral changes, memory loss and depression. Yeah, yeah, it's nuts. It's not since 91%.

[B]

It's crazy that you just keep playing football because you make so much money from it.

[A]

Well, I think Aaron Hernandez was a violent dude already. You know, there's like a lot of abuse in his childhood and there's a lot of crazy stuff.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I think there's a lot going on with that guy.

[B]

Right. So he might have been a little unhinged to be a bunch of people.

[A]

Right? At least one. I think he murdered at least two. I think he murdered two.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think one is like confirmed. How many people did Aaron Hernandez murder?

[B]

I know, I thought it was three.

[C]

Charge for one. I mean, dude, dudes playing in the NFL, Double homicide.

[A]

Playing in the NFL. Superstar also just gunning people down with one of the worst examples of CTE they've ever discovered.

[C]

Guilty of first degree murder and sentenced to life in prison.

[A]

Did he hang himself? Is that how he died? Did he hang himself?

[C]

I believe so.

[A]

You imagine like an injury like that dude with the rod through the brain and now all of a sudden and you're a totally different person. Like all your life you've been one person and then gone. That person's gone.

[B]

It's kind of fun.

[A]

Maybe not.

[B]

There's only one way to find out.

[A]

You would try. Like, you would want to know. Like, how hard do I have to get hit in the head to be really good at math? Like, you don't want to overdo it.

[B]

No, you don't want to. You're like, keep pushing me. I still can't figure this equation out.

[A]

Just one more kick to the face, please. I think we're right there. I think I'm starting to see geometry.

[B]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[A]

But it doesn't happen to everybody. That's what's weird. No, some people make some great Comics. Some people just makes them brain dead.

[B]

Yeah, there's a fine line. There's a fine line between genius and brain dead.

[A]

And everything is a fine line. All right, should we wrap this up?

[B]

Let's wrap it up.

[A]

It was really fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Always. Thanks for being here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're very funny. I really enjoy your comedy. I love the. There's the risks you take. You know, you just go for it. It's fun to watch. It's great. Really is. It's fun. It's. It's a different thing than anybody else is doing, and people love it. I think there's reason for that. And I think you're, like, one of those people that they have to find out about you to appreciate you. And, you know, that happened with a lot of people. That happened, like Stephen Wright. That happened, like, Mitch Hedberg. Like, people had to, like, know what they're coming for to really appreciate it.

[B]

Do you hear that? Do you remember that story? I don't know if. When Mitch Hedberg did his special for Comedy Central, it took so long because he was, like, bombing the whole way through. You never heard that. I mean, and he's, like, a genius. But, like, his special, he was not doing well, and they kept filming it, and like, finally he's, like, sitting down on those stairs because I think he had been at it for a while. And you watch that special and it's, like, hilarious. He's like, a genius. So funny. But, like, yeah, in the room, it just was not going well.

[A]

Well, it all depended with Mitch on also, who. Is there a complimentary opening act that makes sense?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Like, he would have guys on the road. He would, like, have a middle act on the road that the club would provide. That dude would be doing backflips and singing songs.

[B]

Right. That's not a great person for you to follow.

[A]

It's terrible. And so people didn't know who he was back then. It was just. Who's the headliner? Oh, there's a guy named Mitch Hedberg. Like, why does he have sunglasses on? Why is he staring at the ground like. Yeah, but once they knew who he was, then they would come to see him. And then it was awesome. And I think there's a thing like that with you.

[B]

Well, what's funny, too, is, like, Louis, you know, directed, and he's like, let's do this thing. At first he was like, let's do this thing where nobody knows you're filming a special. He's like, you know, you're just going out there and, like, you know, usually half the crowd loves me and half the crowd doesn't. So I was like, let's do one show like that. And that show, I tap dance the whole way. And it was so brutal. I left that. The first two shows we did, I was like, the first one was okay, and the second one was so brutal because none of them knew who I were. They didn't know I was doing a special. They just thought they were coming for a regular show. And I'm up there for an hour, and people, like. There was, like, seven people that liked me, but, like, we all left so dejected. Like, Louie was like, I can't even watch this. And Ari, I seen Ari being, like, so depressed. And then I went home that night, and I was like, I'm gonna have to quit comedy.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And then the next two shows, the next night were amazing, but, like, yes, I'm not for everyone.

[A]

Yeah, you're not for everybody.

[B]

Not even my biological father.

[A]

Well, you're for me. I appreciate you.

[B]

Well, thank you.

[A]

Thanks for having me. My pleasure. So one more time. Jamie, show it. It's available now. Netflix, the Dark Queen. Tell people your, Instagram, all that jazz.

[B]

Just my name, Adrian Appolucci.

[A]

Spell it, though, because people like, sure. Appaloochi must mean A. I know. Well, also, you have an I First funky eye.

[B]

But everyone always thinks it's an L. So that's why I was like, we need to use a font where it's an I. So it's a D, R, I, E, and N E, and then the last name's I A.

[A]

Have you ever thought about just changing your last name to an A? Just put an A there.

[B]

I mean, everyone thinks it's an L.

[A]

How about just changing one big A? People know how to say it.

[B]

I feel like I like being a little difficult.

[A]

You do. That makes sense. Keep it that way. Don't listen to me. Thank you very much.

[B]

Appreciate you very much.

[A]

Bye, everybody.