#2429 - Tom Segura

Summary

The Joe Rogan Experience #2429 – Tom Segura

Date: December 23, 2025
Guest: Tom Segura

---

Overview

This episode reunites Joe Rogan with comedian Tom Segura for a wide-ranging, high-energy conversation. They cover topics from fitness routines, the challenge of balancing indulgence (like Segura’s love of croissants) with health, the evolution of stand-up comedy, the impact of technology and social media, mysterious ancient civilizations, Saudi Arabia’s entertainment push, and the ethics and absurdities of extreme wealth, corruption, and scam artists. Tom also talks about his new Netflix special, “Teacher,” and his experiences as a business owner and parent.

The tone throughout is candid, humorous, and occasionally irreverent, with both hosts riffing off each other’s stories and observations.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Fitness, Weight Loss, and Lifestyle Adjustments

• Tom’s Transformation & Routine
  • Tom opens up about his dramatic weight loss (from 265 to 187 lbs), new fitness habits, and disciplined diet:
    • Eats 4 high-protein meals daily, tracks macros, carb cycles depending on training intensity ([01:24], [01:38]).
    • Early rising (5:30AM) due to his writers’ room schedule for his show "Bad Thoughts."
    • Sleep is the "biggest challenge" but key to maintaining his lifestyle ([03:32], [04:21]).

“The most I ever weighed was 265 […] and now I’m 187.” – Tom ([00:37]-[00:43])
“The key to the whole thing is… you go to bed early, or this doesn’t work.” – Tom ([03:32])

• Accountability, Motivation, and the Gym
  • Tom keeps a trainer for accountability and harder sessions ([00:59], [01:01]).
  • Joe and Tom debate morning vs. midday strength; both now endorse exercising early for mental clarity and mood ([05:13], [06:07]).
  • Cardio specifically calms the mind and kills “internal chatter” for both ([06:46]).

“Cardio is what really shuts off all the chatter.” – Joe ([06:46])
“You have to realize: 20 years goes by so fast.” – Joe ([08:08])

• Obsession with Metrics, Longevity
  • Discussion of why people need to focus on fitness and health metrics like VO2 max, bone density as they age. ([07:38]-[08:24])

---

Comedy, Writing, and the Business of Being Funny

Comedy Consumption for Comedians

• Segura admits he’s barely watched major comedies like "The Office" or "30 Rock," preferring thrillers and dramas after performing stand-up. Joe agrees ([14:40]-[15:18]).
• Both reflect on the strangeness of working in a writing room when you haven’t consumed the genre ([14:56]-[15:18]).

Family, Parenting, and Nature vs. Nurture

• Tom shares stories about his competitive, athletic older son—nicknamed a "psycho" for obsessive running ([32:03]), and his younger, more comedic and complain-y son (nicknamed “Joe Pesci”).
• The duo riff on the mysterious origins of personality—nature, nurture, genetics, innate drive ([30:19]-[35:16]).

“There are qualities in people’s personalities that are innate—especially when you have more than one kid.” – Tom ([30:19])

Stand-up’s Arena Boom & Changing Business Model ([108:33]-[115:03])

• Joe and Tom discuss the explosion of arena/stadium stand-up thanks to the Internet and the global reach of social media.
• Comedians like Nate Bargatze, Sebastian Maniscalco, and even Tom tour at a scale once reserved for a select few; family-friendly (“clean”) comedy draws huge multi-generational crowds ([108:40]).
• Both reminisce about their early days and the unique intimacy and rush of "in the round" theater stages ([113:32]-[115:03]).

“It’s so bizarre. There’s so many of us now [in arenas]. That wasn’t the case at all.” – Joe ([115:26])
“Standup is very popular right now.” – Joe ([108:33])

---

Ancient Civilizations, Mysteries & Aliens

• Amazon and Ancient Tech
  • Deep dive into the Amazon’s mysterious civilizations, man-made soil (terra preta), lost cities, and recent lidar discoveries ([57:43]-[66:04]).
• North American Ancient Sites
  • New discoveries like 18,000-year-old Oregon stone structures raise questions about humanity’s North American history ([65:04]-[69:22]).
• Nazca Lines, Peruvian Mummies
  • Rogan shares info and CT-scan images of tri-dactyl (three-fingered) mummies found in Peru, which possibly date from an unknown lost civilization and mirror classic “grey alien” traits ([69:22]-[81:19]).

“That’s not a human being. Alien. Or... it might have been a kind of human being.” – Joe ([76:44])
“If these things turn out to be real… that changes our understanding of what has existed here before.” – Joe ([79:09])

• Aliens and the Media
  • Both complain about public apathy toward world-changing news:
    “Nobody cares. Everybody’s tick-tocking.” – Joe ([81:42])

---

Social Media & Modern Attention

• Both express frustration at how many in society are “mentally out of it” due to lack of healthy routines and constant exposure to social media distractions ([152:11]-[153:11]).
• Artificial intelligence and deepfakes are making fake reality indistinguishable from real ([179:03]), raising skepticism about any media or news.

---

Combat Sports, Health, and Limits

• Fighting in the Modern Era
  • Intense discussion on how many more people—kids included—now know martial arts due to internet and MMA influence; Joe warns that fighting/boxing takes a lifelong toll, and anyone sticking around too long will “pay the price” with brain health ([49:44]-[51:06]).
  • Heavy praise and caution for figures like Jake Paul, RFK Jr., Alex Pereira, and other athletes who demonstrate extreme drive and risk ([44:38]-[55:24]).

“Don’t do it forever. The price you pay is eventually not worth it.” – Joe ([49:54])

---

Rogan & Segura’s Food Temptations and Entrepreneurial Forays

• Tom’s chocolate croissant obsession blossoms into a real baking business, now with a pop-up and physical location ("Chicho bomba") opening soon ([126:24]-[131:02]).
• Both swap stories of their hardest food temptations, LA deli nostalgia (Canter’s, Jerry’s Famous Deli), and the challenge of gaining/losing weight as you age—especially as life grows more complex ([132:45]-[134:07]).
• Joe reveals he’s considered opening an Italian deli in Austin.

---

Medical Advances & Biohacking Debates

• Discussion around the promise (and perils) of new peptides and supplements that claim to mimic the effects of exercise, such as "Sloop 332" ([136:20]-[138:00]).
• Joe extols red light therapy for vision and skin health.

“Red light helps… I can see things way better than I used to be.” – Joe ([124:34])
“There’s so much stuff on the horizon… you’re basically going to be able to get the benefits of exercise in a peptide.” – Joe ([136:20])

---

Wealth, Power, and Scams

• Billionaires, Loopholes, and Moral Dilemmas
  • They discuss how the richest avoid taxes, the origins and philanthropy of the Nobel Prize, and extreme, sometimes humble lifestyles of moguls like Sam Walton & the Patagonia founder ([162:54]-[161:17]).
• Epstein Files, Blackmail & Media Distractions
  • Open frustration about the slow release of Epstein evidence, possible ongoing blackmail operations, and the incompetent or corrupt management from elites and justice officials ([82:22]-[93:26]).
  • Recap of the infamous Bill Gates interview dodging connections to Epstein ([91:11]).
• Televangelists & Legal Scams
  • Riff on the captivating power and legal loopholes of scammy megachurch pastors amassing fortunes ([155:08]-[158:34]):

"That scam, we allow. Like, if you’re so dumb you buy into that… that’s not even illegal." – Joe ([155:47])

• AI Scams, Crowd Campaigns, Social Manipulation
  • Both discuss how easy it is to scam people with deepfakes, chatbots, and coordinated investor schemes ([153:56]-[154:19]).

---

Saudi Arabia, Entertainment, & Cultural Change

• Tom describes performing at the prestigious Riyadh festival alongside major comedians such as Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, and Dave Chappelle ([168:38]-[172:27]).
• Only restrictions: jokes about Islam or the royal family (“wasn’t really a hard thing for most people to adhere to” ([169:30])).
• There’s debate about whether Western artists should participate in events funded by governments with questionable records (Jamal Khashoggi’s murder, etc.), but Tom and Joe argue these events represent tangible progress and foster openness in Saudi society ([176:10]).

“If you lived in Saudi Arabia, you never would imagine you’d see a lineup like that.” – Joe ([177:12])

---

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “The most I ever weighed was 265.” – Tom ([00:37])
• “Cardio is what really shuts off all the chatter.” – Joe ([06:46])
• “Before you know it, 20 years goes by so fast.” – Joe ([08:08])
• “It’s so bizarre. There’s so many of us now [in arenas]. That wasn’t the case at all.” – Joe ([115:26])
• “You want to wonder why so many people are out of their minds—that’s a big part of it. They don’t work hard.” – Joe ([07:32])
• “That’s not a human being. Alien. Or... it might have been a kind of human being.” – Joe ([76:44])
• “Nobody cares. Everybody’s tick-tocking.” – Joe ([81:42])
• “Don’t do it forever. The price you pay is eventually not worth it.” – Joe, on boxing/fighting ([49:54])
• “If something comes out and people like it… it just gets shared.” – Joe ([111:06])
• “Comedy’s super important when the world’s going crazy.” – Tom ([82:15])

---

Highlights & Standout Moments

• Tom’s honesty about his relentless food temptations and bakery business juxtaposed with striving for health ([126:59]-[131:45]).
• Deep-dive riff on ancient lost civilizations, uncontacted tribes, and weird artifacts—classic signature Rogan curiosity ([57:43]-[79:09]).
• Explosive segment on the dangers of fighting for too long and the harsh realities for retired combat sport athletes ([49:44]-[51:06]).
• Acknowledgement of the cultural push occurring in Saudi Arabia, with comedy at the forefront—despite international polemics ([168:40]-[177:24]).

---

Episode Timeline

• 00:00–05:00 | Croissant business, Tom’s weight loss, morning routines
• 05:00–20:00 | Gym habits, effects of workout timing, impact on family life
• 20:00–35:00 | Parenting styles, nature vs. nurture, kids’ personalities
• 35:00–55:00 | Sober October, fitness obsession, combat sports, Jake Paul fight analysis
• 55:00–81:00 | Ancient civilizations: Amazon, American stone sites, Peruvian mummies
• 81:00–93:00 | Aliens & media apathy, Epstein file frustration, Gates-Epstein
• 93:00–108:00 | History of scams (Nobel, televangelists), wealth and taxes
• 108:00–132:00 | Stand-up comedy explosion, clean comedy’s arena power, food temptations, bakery talk
• 132:00–155:00 | Past food/addiction stories, fake supplements, Amazon scams, living and coping in digital world
• 155:00–162:00 | Televangelists, scam culture, dodge taxes, the billionaire paradox
• 162:00–174:00 | Monaco murder doc, economic disparities, oil states’ perks
• 174:00–177:00 | Saudi entertainment, controversy, restrictions on comics, progress in the Middle East
• 177:00–End | Tom plugs his Netflix special “Teacher,” wrap-up, holiday wishes

---

Final Thoughts

Funny, insightful, and wide-ranging, the episode finds both Joe and Tom balancing introspective takes on health and family with their love of food and comedy, all while riffing on the strangeness of modern life—from the wonders (and perils) of new technologies to the mysteries of ancient civilizations and the ever-shifting standards of culture in both America and abroad. Tom’s new special “Teacher” is out on Netflix (Christmas Eve), and this discussion captures why both he and Joe are at the top of their comedy game.

---

Listen if you enjoy:

• Ultra-candid longform interviews
• Health, fitness and self-improvement
• Deep dives into lost history, aliens, controversies
• Stand-up and entertainment industry insights
• Irreverent takes on modern excess and weirdness

---

Special Note:
Tom Segura’s special “Teacher” is out on Netflix. “Go watch it—over this holiday break. I’m very proud of it.” – Tom ([180:43])

Transcript

[A]

Joe Rogan podcast.

[B]

Check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Is that hat your croissant company, bro? Those croissants are real.

[A]

They're the. Aren't they?

[B]

I was gonna eat one bite. This is what's left. I was like, I'll have a bite.

[A]

They're so good, man.

[B]

Too buttery. Well, how can. How can a guy lose as much weight as you lost and then open up a bakery?

[A]

Because I started with them when I was so fat. It was perfect. Like, I fel love with that place when I was close to my fattest, and I was like, this is a match made in heaven.

[B]

How big were you when you were your fattest?

[A]

The most I ever weighed was 265.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And what do you now.

[A]

187.

[B]

That's insane.

[A]

Yeah. So that's like, what, 80 pounds?

[B]

What does that feel like on your joints?

[A]

Feels great. I feel so much better. I feel so much better. Of course, I'm lifting four days a week.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, I just. I lifted this morning.

[B]

Do you have a trainer? Do you go on solo?

[A]

No. Meets me there every day or every day that I'm.

[B]

You do that for accountability.

[A]

You know, I just realized that I. I mean, I've trained enough now where I can. I can do a good workout on my own, but I always feel like I. It's never as good as when he's there. It's all, you know, I mean, like, it's always a little bit harder, and I always feel like it's a better workout when he's there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. He pushes me, Sean.

[B]

So you've been with him for a while?

[A]

I've been with him for. Yeah, for years. The other difference, the big difference, is that I've been. I dialed in not with croissants, but I've dialed in my nutrition a lot more. Like, I eat four times a day now, and I'm on top of my macros. You know, I mean, things I've never done before.

[B]

Why do you eat four times a day?

[A]

This nutritionist just gave me this plan, and I've been just doing it.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Yeah. So I eat 50 grams of protein at every. At each of those four, you know, four different meals.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I end up getting 200 grams.

[B]

So you. You do smaller meals that are lower in calories but high in protein.

[A]

Yeah. Yep. And then I. I also. I. I carb cycle. So, like, I know on a. And like, if, like, today was legs, I know that It's a more intense workout. I'll do the full portions of these carbs. Right. Which sometimes the sweet potatoes or white rice. But on a day if I'm like, if it's a rest day or I'm, I'm doing like less intense workout, I'll dial back how much of those carbs I weight.

[B]

Are you, do you take a pre workout?

[A]

I, I have a pre workout meal every time. So like in the morning I get, I've been getting up at 5:30, so I, I get.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What the are you doing, man?

[A]

I mean, because I've been in the writers room on my, on season two of Bad Thoughts. So I've been, I've been getting up at 5:30 and my pre workout meal are these like, I guess it's like muesli kind of like grains, you know, with, with some honey, a little bit of almond butter. And then I have Greek yogurt with a scoop of whey protein. So that's my pre workout and after that I go to the gym. And then during the workout I sometimes have a, like an intra workout shake. Sometimes I just. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. But I mean I feel much better doing it that way. I do. And then, and then I eat again about it after hour after that workout. So that's my second meal. Then a few hours later is three and then my fourth one is like around six.

[B]

So you have your second meal by.

[A]

The time it's like 8am Maybe like 9:30. Yeah.

[B]

That's so crazy. Yeah. What time you going to bed at night?

[A]

Well that's, that's the key to this whole thing. That's the key to the whole thing is that you go to do this, I got to do this and to do that, I got to do that to do and to do that I got to get up early and, and the only way I can get up early is by staying on top of when I go to bed. You know, when we met I was going to bed at 3 o' clock in the morning.

[B]

Normal stuff.

[A]

Yeah. And I would get up at like 11.

[B]

Yeah. Like a normal person.

[A]

Like a normal person. And then I would say in the last decade a lot of my bedtime kind of shifted to like around midnight and then it shifted to like a little bit like closer to 11 in the last few months, like sticking to this plan, I've started to go to bed sometimes at like 10, 10:30, which for me is like very early. You know, it's very hard. It was, it's the biggest challenge for me has been to get to bed.

[B]

That's hard for me. That's hard. That would be hard.

[A]

But I also. I don't think I'm gonna be getting up at 5:30 forever.

[B]

This is just writer's room stuff.

[A]

This is just writer's room stuff.

[B]

Normally you get up when eight, seven.

[A]

Yeah, between seven and eight. Yeah.

[B]

That's. That's reasonable.

[A]

That's reasonable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't have to go to bed at tend to do that.

[B]

Yeah. When my kids are in school, I get up at 7ish. And then. Yeah, usually between 7 and 7:15, depending on when they have to leave and then when they're not in school. Like right now, today I got up at 8, which is pretty normal. 8 feels good for me.

[A]

I got, I got up around 7:30 today.

[B]

If I don't work out first thing in the morning, though, it used to be I used to like working out at night because in jiu jitsu I'd always like doing at night. Morning classes were tough. Tough to get in there early and train. And also you don't feel warmed up and you feel like everything's gonna get hurt.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But nighttime I can't work out anymore. I can't do that.

[A]

I've completely changed in this regard. Too busy, I used to say. Well, I will say that like I feel like my strongest between like 11 and 1. Like the middle of the day is when I. If you were like, draw up an ideal strength time. That's when I feel like I'm like, oh, that's when I'm at my best.

[B]

Why, why do you think that is?

[A]

I think I. You're.

[B]

You woke up.

[A]

Yeah. You woke up, fired up. You warmed up and you're ready to go. And I feel a little food. I feel good. But I've pivoted to now really enjoying these first thing in the morning workouts where I feel like my whole day is set when I have those workouts. And I also realize that if I don't, I feel so much different through that throughout that day.

[B]

Right. That's a good, that's a good factor. One, you get that first big win in the morning. Yeah, you got it done. You're. You got good momentum going, but also you're more calm. Yeah, that's the big one. That's the big one.

[A]

And focused. Right.

[B]

When we did that sober October thing, we were all doing cradio crazy cardio. One thing you said to me that really rang true is like, it totally silences all that internal chatter.

[A]

Yeah. It Does. Yeah, yeah. And I think, I think one thing about the writers room is that, you know, you have to be alert. You have to be focused.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You can't have all this shit, like the noise going on. And so it was a great way to show up to the room is like, you have that win, you've done something hard, and now I'm ready to work.

[B]

Yeah. For me, it's not just a hard workout, but generally has to have some cardio in it.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Cardio is what really shuts off all the chatter.

[A]

It is different than the weightlifting.

[B]

Yeah, weightlifting is great. Weightlifting makes you feel better. Like you feel like energized. You feel like, oh, I feel good. But cardio is like, I don't give a. Yeah. Like when I. When I have a really hard cardio session.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't go, fuck, I don't give a fuck what's going on. Everything's fine.

[A]

I noticed the difference between, because I was doing 45 minute cardio sessions and when I upped it to an hour, the 15 minute difference for me felt like another hour. Like pushing it. 15 more minutes was really, really hard.

[B]

Well, that's when it's hardest. When you're tired already.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, when you're extending your cardio capability. That's. That's hard, man. That's hard.

[A]

It's so important. It's so important to do.

[B]

Oh, yeah, it's everything. You want to wonder why so many people are out of their minds. That's a big part of it. They don't work hard.

[A]

I got so obsessed with some of these. This, like, these data and metrics about this, you know? Yeah. Just like that becomes a problem. Yeah. Well, I don't mean like that like I have to, but like just the data that people are talking about as people age of like, if you're not lifting and your bone density goes down or like your VO2Mac learning about that stuff and going like, if you don't start thinking about that at a certain age, one day it will be like so out of your grasp.

[B]

I was just having this conversation with Shane Gillispie. I was like, you have to realize, like 20 years goes by so fast because I'm 20 years older than him. I'm like 20 years ago, I. You like that happened. It was yesterday.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And all of a sudden I'm 58. And 20 years from now I'm 78. That's dead.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, that's almost dead. Yeah, like in. And you can either be almost dead and look like RFK Jr. Or you could be almost dead and look like Trump. Yeah, it's kind of same thing. Yeah. They're in the same neighborhood, like.

[A]

And you have a Choice.

[B]

Trump's only seven or eight years older than RFK Jr.

[A]

He doesn't look like it.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that guy did heroin for. This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience is presented by the farmer's dog, gently cooked fresh dog food that's clinically shown to support healthy aging. Both of my dogs take it. I personally buy it and I bought it before they were a sponsor. New customer get 50% off your first box at the farmer dog.com rogan plus you get free shipping. This episode is brought to you by Dodge. The 2026 Dodge Durango SRT Hellcat is all about one thing. Unlocking performance. With 710 horsepower, 645 pound feet of torque and a supercharged 6.2 liter Hemi V8 under the hood, the Dodge Durango SRT Hellcat Is the most powerful SUV in the segment. It's also insanely capable, towing up to £700 with seating up to seven. That's best in class muscle in a three row SUV. Plus you can jailbreak it and customize the hell out of it. The SRT Hellcat jailbreak has over 6 million possible configurations. You can customize everything from paint to wheels to badging to seats. Make it your own. This isn't a quiet suv. It's loud, it's fast, it's powerful and unapologetically Dodge. Learn more now@dodge do.com based on the latest competitive information available. IHS standard full size CUV segment and horsepower. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Want to get your holiday website up faster than you could say f la la la? Squarespace makes it easy. Their design intelligence tool uses AI and expert design magic to whip up a site that's not just functional, but full of personality. Yours plus their built in SEO means you won't get lost in the holiday shuffle. Just go to squarespace.com rogan for a free trial. And when you are ready to launch, use the code rogan to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. 14 fucking years. Who did RFK Jr.

[A]

He did heroin.

[B]

Oh yeah. After his dad was assassinated.

[A]

He was a heroin addict.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah. When he was young, people give him a hard time about it. Like hey yo, his dad got shot in front of him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

His dad who was running for president got assassinated.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's when he was a little Kid, come on. You wouldn't do heroin. You have no idea what you would do. And his uncle got shot in the head in front of the whole world.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, not in front of the whole world.

[B]

It wasn't in front of the whole world until several years later.

[A]

But he looks incredible.

[B]

He looks great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He did 20 chin ups in a row. I saw that at 70, whatever the he is.

[A]

That's very impressive.

[B]

That's insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Modern science for the win.

[A]

Yeah. Now you. Yeah. I mean, Yeah, I think about it all the time. I, I. Because I think the same way 20 years goes by real fast. Like that. Yeah.

[B]

It's so fast, dude. Before you know it, it's like, like there's guys that, like, never got going with their life or they got distracted with stupid shit and they never really, like, focused on whatever it is they do. What, their careers. And then you see them 20 years later, they're in their late 40s and they're fudgeing, scrambling and depressed.

[A]

And I'm friends with so many of them, dude.

[B]

Oh, it's a problem.

[A]

I'm friends with so many of them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I'm in that age pocket where a lot of my friends are in.

[B]

That, like, they never did anything.

[A]

Yeah. And they're really, they're really scrambling.

[B]

Yeah. And they're really desperate. And then they want help, which is like, hey, I can't fucking hold your hand.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

You did this to yourself. Like, you should have paid attention to what we were all doing all those years ago.

[A]

It's unnerving, too, when some of them, like, I have friends who are like, you're like, dude, like, we're in our 40s. Yeah. And you're. And the thing is, the worst part about it is you realize how much of it is dictated by fear. Like, they're just scared to do things. It's like someone who's scared to step in the gym or something. Right. And you're like, you're just scared to get your, to take that step, to do something.

[B]

Scared to be uncomfortable is what it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's the thing. It's like most people are scared to be uncomfortable. So they're scared to sit down in front of the computer and write. They don't write because they're scared to be. I don't. The writing thing is the weirdest one.

[A]

Fear of the unknown.

[B]

Because I don't understand why that's even uncomfortable. But it is. I get it. It is. I. I avoid it. Sometimes I come home and I'm Like, I really should write, but I could watch YouTube.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I'll sit in front of the TV. I'm like, I earned this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I'll watch YouTube.

[A]

Anything to not do it. You look for distractions.

[B]

The nights that I come home and I wr. So I always feel way better. I feel better going to bed. And I feel better. Good getting up. I'm like, I did what I was supposed to do.

[A]

Yay.

[B]

Yay. Everything's going good.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

[B]

When I just watch some random YouTube video on ancient history.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, okay, why am I falling asleep at 2 in the morning and forcing myself to finish this hour and 50 minute documentary on Syria?

[A]

I do it all the time. I'm like, here's another murder doc. I'll just watch this.

[B]

I don't watch those.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's all. I watch you. I found out too. I was. I found it in the writer's room. And I didn't realize this until I talked it out. We were talking about, you know, like. Because sometimes you're like, what about this idea? Right, right. And someone will be like, well, you know, on that episode of like 30 Rock or something. And I'll be like, oh, I never saw that. And they go, you never saw 30 Rock? And I'm like, no. And then they go, oh, well, you know, like on the Office. I never watched the Office. Like, you didn't watch the Office? And then I started talking. I was like, oh, I've never watched anything. Any of these shows. And they're like, what? And I go, yeah, I guess I just don't like comedy. And they're like, what are you talking about? I was like, dude, I've never seen the office. 30 Rock, Sonny. All like the huge comedies of the last 20 years. I've never seen them.

[B]

I haven't seen them either.

[A]

Well, so. And I'm like, well, I go, my ration, not My thinking is not that I don't like comedy. It's that it's like, you know, you. I'm on stage all the time. I'm doing comedy. My friends are comedians. We're talking comedy. When I get home and I want to watch something, I don't want to watch that. I want to watch something else.

[B]

I'm exactly. That's exactly how I think of it.

[A]

I want to watch dramas, thrillers, something's interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Stranger Things.

[A]

Yeah. So I just end up never. And they're like, this is pretty crazy though. You're In a room of comedy writers and you've never watched an episode of comedy? Like, yeah, I guess that is kind of weird.

[B]

I watched them when I was on one. You know, I'd watch other sitcoms to see what they were doing differently.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because it was kind of a new thing for me.

[A]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[B]

But after I was off news radio, I swore off sitcoms too, and. But then I did start watching some of them with my family. One of them I watched that I really used to on, and I was wrong, is the Big Bang Theory. Really good show, man.

[A]

I mean, it was a massive hit.

[B]

I was like, how is this stupid show a massive hit? But it was because I had seen clips online that were like retakes that they did without the laugh track. But if, you know, if you ever worked on a sitcom, you know what retakes are? Retakes are brutal. Like, you didn't get it right. Or the writers decided to change something or there's whatever. For whatever reason, you do a bunch of them after the audience leaves, you know, So I saw those without the laugh track, and I was like, what is this? This is not funny. Yeah, this is terrible. I'm like, what is this? Like, mundane, boring. Fucking drone you to sleep. Then I watched the show, the actual show itself. I was like, oh, this is a really well written sitcom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's interesting because the main guy's autistic and he's like, totally socially.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's funny, though. It's. But it's all about nerds. It's. It's a good show.

[A]

Something that has that. Something gets that popular.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, this has to have something.

[B]

But that's like, stuff that I watch with my family. Like, there's certain shows that I only watch with my family.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, that's one of them.

[A]

You know, what just happened with our kids is they. They start, you know, they had like, their movies that they always watched. And kids, little kids have just a capacity to re. Watch the. Oh, yeah. You're like, Jesus Christ.

[B]

I watched Frozen like 80 times.

[A]

Oh, my God, so many times. We watched Let It Go. We watched home alone a 145 times. Right. Which is. I think a lot of people do. But then all of a sudden we were like, oh, here's the Simpsons. And what we did was we started with episode one of the Simpsons.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And what I was so surprised by, I was because I was taken by just how. How good the old one. Like, we're watching like, season one, season two, like, the really old ones where everything. Where it took 18 months to produce an episode. You know, they had to hand draw everything. The. The writing and the jokes in them are so good and so funny. And you're. I'm watching these little dudes like get the jokes and they're. And it's really funny. I mean, it's really good. But we start from the beginning.

[B]

How many episodes is the Simpsons still on the air?

[A]

Right. I think so. It's like season 42 or some.

[B]

That is so wild. And no one gets old.

[A]

No. Right.

[B]

And characters are just cartoons.

[A]

And now they can do them timely because of technology. So now they can like produce it in a week or something.

[B]

Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy.

[A]

Cuz they don't have to hand draw everything.

[B]

Well, didn't they like farm it all out to. I think so South America or some.

[A]

It probably. I'm sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think they did just some Indian.

[B]

I think they taught some Asian people how to.

[A]

How to draw, how to do it. And like, I mean, there's something also that like, you appreciate about the old animation. That's cool.

[B]

That clunky.

[A]

Yeah. It doesn't exist in the. But it's still. It's so funny.

[B]

Like the first South Park. The first south park was super clunky.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What would Bar and Boitano do?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they also embraced that it's supposed to look this certain way. Right. Like they. That whole thing was like. It's. It was. They embrace that. Like, the look is not like slick.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it's also. You can get away with so much more when it's not even remotely realistic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like the time that gay teacher stuffed Paris Hilton up his ass. Like, how could you do that on any other show? Imagine if you said we're gonna do south park but with CGI and real people. What the are you talking about?

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

Kenny's gonna die in every episode, violently. And everyone's gonna laugh.

[A]

Yeah. No. Yeah. What?

[B]

His brain splattered all over the concrete.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. You killed Kenny.

[A]

Kenny. What? Yeah. It has to be.

[B]

No, it has to be fake.

[A]

Fake. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And it has to be fake kids.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Because kids are kind of. They bounce off stuff. They get hurt. It's kind of funny.

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

Yeah. They just. They don't get hurt as easy when they get hurt. It's like not that big a deal. They bang into things. Whereas an old person falls in the bathtub, they break a hip and they're dead in a year.

[A]

My youngest, like, slow falls all the time, and we're like, what the is going on? And he's never hurt.

[B]

He's practicing.

[A]

Yeah. He's just like. And he tumbles.

[B]

Yeah. Well, they're made out of, like, they're. They're flexible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Pliable and.

[A]

Yeah. The way they even. Like, the way a kid can sit. And you're like, how are your legs doing that?

[B]

Yo, after a while, shit gets stiff.

[A]

It gets real stiff.

[B]

Do you ever do any yoga?

[A]

I did. I haven't in a while.

[B]

Remember when we did it? That was our first challenge, right?

[A]

I do, and that was awesome. And then a few, like, a year or two ago, I. I started doing some yoga here, and it was so challenging. I was like, this is really hard.

[B]

Was it the same kind or different?

[A]

Just like. No, it wasn't. It wasn't a hot yoga. It was just like, you know, you're going through all the positions. I don't know how to even describe it.

[B]

Poses.

[A]

Yeah, all the poses. And I was like, man. I was, you know, shaking in certain poses, and I was. It was really challenging, and I have not done it in a while. I probably should do it again.

[B]

Was it the same kind of yoga, though, or the poses different?

[A]

No, the same kind of poses. The same. Yeah, just not hot.

[B]

Hot's the way to go.

[A]

Hot. Rad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Harder.

[A]

It is. I remember I did do a hot yoga here in Austin, like, in July. I was like, this isn't much different than outside right now. And I remember, like, feeling so relieved when I saw somebody tap out of the room before me. I was like, I can't tap out first. Just watching people, and some guy was like, I gotta get. I was like, all right, I'm gonna get out of here in a minute.

[B]

Holiday football has arrived. The regular season's wrapping up. The playoffs are on deck. And every win matters more. With DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL, the unexpected can turn game day into payday. From fierce rivalries to playoff pushes, nothing beats football this time of year. First touchdown anytime. TD Live bets. When your team scores, you score. And don't forget, DraftKings has your back with early exit. If your player goes down in the first half, you still get paid in cash. With DraftKings, you're protected through the entire first half. Why bet anywhere else? New customers bet just $5. And if your bet wins, you'll get 200 in bonus bets instantly. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and use the code Rogan. That's code ROGAN. Bet five bucks and win $200 in bonus bets. If your bet wins in partnership with DraftKings, the Crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York. Call 877-8-HOPE and WHY or text hopeny 467-369 in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas. Pass through of per wager tax may apply in Illinois 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Boyd and Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive BO. Expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required for additional terms and responsible gaming resources. See DKNG CO Audio limited Time offer. I remember the first time I did it. I was like, I can't believe how hard this is. I can't believe all these little old ladies are walking into this thing with this rolled up foam mat. And I'm like, you guys think you're working out?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Meanwhile, they're working out way harder than me. I was, I was literally getting strangled. And it was easier. I was going to jiu jitsu and I was getting fucking arm barred. And that was easier.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Than going and, and stretching my feet out with these little old ladies and.

[A]

Seeing like how these mother. Like, you'll see somebody who's like, physicality is not like that. Note, like, they look fit, let's say, but you're not like, holy, look at this person, right? And the way that they're holding themselves up on their hands and their whole body's sitting on. On, you know, I mean, like their knees are on their elbows.

[B]

And you're like, how the are you.

[A]

Holding yourself like this?

[B]

Yeah. Very impressive. It's a weird. It's an impressive thing that you only know it's impressive when you try to do it.

[A]

This is why I have this theory that everybody should try things like that. Jiu jitsu, a boxing class. Even if you go one time, just once, right? To have. Just so you have an idea of what you don't know, right? You know, I mean, because like, every dude thinks he can fight, right? You know, And I'm like, I know my limits so much in that regard because I've been in classes, I've done classes. So I, I know so much. I'm not an expert, but I know how much I don't know. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I've rolled On. I've done jiu jitsu classes. I've done boxing classes. And I'm like, oh, this. These guys can kill me, you know? But you don't know that before you do it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You don't know how hard that is. Yeah, you don't. I mean, like, boxing is a funny one, because people think they're like, I could throw a punch. You're like, you don't even have the fundamentals of how to throw a punch. You don't even know how to throw a punch. Technically.

[B]

Not only that, how many can you throw before you're totally exhausted?

[A]

The exhaustion is real crazy.

[B]

How many you got in your tank? You got 10.

[A]

A lot of people, like, throw. They throw haymakers and they think they're throwing up. You're like, that's not even a punch, you know?

[B]

Well, it is if it lands, I.

[A]

Guess, but it's not like. It's definitely not a punch that would. Would really have that much of an effect on somebody who knows what they're doing. I mean, you could probably land that on someone who also doesn't fight.

[B]

You can land a lot of things on people if they don't know you're going to punch them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why sucker punches work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whenever I. When I used to teach martial arts, one of the first things I would tell people is, you have to realize that action is so much faster than reaction. So the reason why a sucker punch works is because you have no idea that this person is going to do it. And then by the time they're doing it, it's too late.

[A]

It's too late for you.

[B]

You don't react in time. That's why people get punched like that. You can't. I'm like, you can't ever let anybody get close enough. You can't ever let anybody that's threatening you get into position where they think, like, you think that they could hit you, and you don't know it's coming.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because it can happen too fast.

[A]

So that's why you got to. You have to have your awareness to that somebody approaching you is already a threat or 100%.

[B]

Yeah. Like, remember the time I got in that stupid thing on Fear Factor?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That guy. That was 100. My thought process, like, this guy could punch me in any second.

[A]

Yeah. So you have to act.

[B]

Yeah. I had to grab them. But it was one of those moments where I was like, all right, this is a very angry person. That's already irrational. What's most irrational? Sucker punch in the Host.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And also, this is like. You got to think of reality tv. What is everyone trying to do? Everyone's trying to go viral. They're all trying to have a clip that gets played over and over again. They're all trying to get everybody to watch the show. So they're all acting in the most outrageous way possible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think it's like, between that and social media, it's. It's been like poor poison in our civility, in our culture. The way people communicate, the way people view, like, famous people is totally different now because you used to be famous because you were Amy Winehouse. Like, oh, I love your music.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now it's. You're just famous for whatever the reason.

[A]

You could be famous for just acting a fool. Like, just being a complete.

[B]

Yeah. Being some guy who's famous for stealing people's hats.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just run up and grab people's hats everywhere. That's. That's your tick tock.

[A]

Or. Yeah. You go up to people and, like, you whisper in their ear when they're at. They're at, like, a Home Depot and people.

[B]

Speaking of which, did you see what Andre Arlovsky got into it with these influencers? I bet they didn't know who he is.

[A]

Yes, I did see a clip of that.

[B]

Yeah. I bet they didn't know who he is. They started with former UFC heavyweight champion Andre Arlovski.

[A]

Not a good move.

[B]

He's all. First of all, he's gigantic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's one of the baddest ever like, that guy just recently retired from the UFC or was released, I should say. He's not even done fighting. He started fighting. He was. He won the UFC title, I think, in 2005.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's 20 fucking years ago. And the guy was still beating people that are, like, elite fighters just a few years ago.

[A]

And that's how you go pick on.

[B]

You go pick on that guy. Good luck. I think he beat Travis Brown in, like, 2016 or 17. Travis Brown was super legit, real dangerous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Arlovski was a bad dude.

[A]

I went to a Travis Brown fight once with you.

[B]

Travis Brown was a bad motherfucker. Travis Brown completely changed the way people look at the clinch because he elbowed so many people into oblivion. If you got a hold of a single on that guy and your head was right there or a double, anything where you're trying to take him down against the cage and hit your head is right there, that fucking dude.

[A]

Boom. Yeah.

[B]

We literally called him Travis Brown Elbows dude. Because everybody does it. But Travis Brown did it better than anybody.

[A]

That in those, those forearm shots that.

[B]

People take, you're like, oh, yeah, it's brutal. It's such a brutal sport. It's. It's so crazy.

[A]

That is so crazy. Yeah, I would. Not with somebody, I mean, I don't with anybody, but like, if I saw that guy be the last guy, I'd.

[B]

Be like, oh, so many people out there in the world now know how to fight. When I was a kid, almost no one knew how to fight. There was like, wrestlers never fuck with wrestlers. And there was like, oh, the guy, he's Golden Gloves boxer. I don't fuck with him. Yeah, like, everybody knew who you couldn't. Couldn't fuck with. Now everybody knows something. And kids, they learn just by what. They'll watch a Charles Oliveira fight and they'll practice in their fucking living room. And next thing you know, they. They know how to do a real triangle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you can watch a lot of shit on YouTube videos and learn without even taking classes. And kids are like, learning. Yeah, some athletic kids. Like a kid that maybe is really good at baseball, really good at soccer or something like that, you could teach him some moves pretty quick. And he's. He's going to know how to deliver it.

[A]

My oldest does. Does it twice a week. And he's been, he's. He's an athletic kid. He's got some proficiency and he keeps moving up, you know, and kill you.

[B]

Well, he'll have to start.

[A]

We also start. We fuck around because he's. I have two little boys. This dude will immediately, like, go, just put me in an arm bar. And I'm like, yo. And I'm like. And the only thing that, like saves me is that I'm still so much bigger.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, and, and stronger.

[B]

But I'm like, you might have to start taking classes or he's not gonna listen.

[A]

The clock is ticking.

[B]

When he's like 16 or 17.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, that would be a problem. Real problem.

[B]

Well, that's also a weird problem too, because all of a sudden you can do things to men. Like, I remember thinking that when I was like, 16, 16, 17 when I was competing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I also knocked it beat men up. I was like, this is crazy.

[A]

Crazy. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. This is weird because all my life, men were terrifying. Like, men were. Men get angry. Men will hit you, you run. Run from the men. And now I'm like, I'll this grown ass man up. It was crazy. It was a crazy transition.

[A]

I can see his wheels turning.

[B]

Right. So he's gonna know he can do it now, so he's gonna want to do it. Come on, dad.

[A]

Yeah, come on, dad.

[B]

Yeah, go ahead, dad. What are you gonna do, dad?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you're grounded. You. I'm not grounded. I'll choke you out. What? You're in the hallway. You can't even get away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's 17 now. He probably weighs a buck 80. And they kind of ripped. He's got abs. They get embarrassed.

[A]

Oh, yeah. They call us and they're like, hey, he's really good. They're like. Like, he's. He's. He's really got a skill at this.

[B]

Well, Jiu Jitsu is. Athleticism is massive, but also intelligence. It's hard to be dumb and get really good at Jiu Jitsu.

[A]

He's a smart kid. The other thing that's very different. And I think you see this when you have. When you have more than one kid, you know, you have two kids or more, you start to see that, like, oh, some qualities in people's personalities are innate qualities, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, you just. Especially because, you know, you have your one. You're like, oh, this is what every. This is what a kid's like. Then you're like, oh, the other kid's not like this. They have these other qualities.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And one thing about him that we just pick up on by being his parent is he's like. He's very competitive. Very, very competitive. And so he's intelligent, he's competitive, and he's athletic. And so you go like, oh, yeah, he's. He's just very driven.

[B]

You know, boy should probably compete. Because when you're young, if you learn how to compete when you're young, oh, my God, it has so many benefits for the rest of your life because it's so scary. And then you overcome it. And if you could become successful at it, you kind of feel like you could be successful at anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because you've been successful at something. That's scary.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. He got into.

[B]

Get him in tournaments.

[A]

He got into running.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

So, like, a couple years ago, I was getting ready. We were going to do a 5K. I was way out of shape. I was like, I gotta start running. So the first thing I did is I ran a mile, and he tried to run with. I mean, he was like, you know, let's say like 7 years old or something. And I ran the mile in, like, I don't know, 9:30. It was. I mean, I was dying, right. I was like, oh, my God. He couldn't quite keep up with me in this one mile run. He's the seven year old kid this year. He ran two miles in 12:38. Whoa. So he ran six and six because.

[B]

He didn't like the fact that he wasn't good at running.

[A]

He just. And he would get up and be like, I'm gonna go train. I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ, you got a psycho. He's a psycho.

[B]

He's a psycho.

[A]

He's running up hills and. And I was. He, he's like, come with me. And so like I have an adult with me. He's just running up and down this hill over and over and over. Yeah, he's like very. But it's self. It's not me going, right, you gotta go run. Right?

[B]

You know, it's inside his head.

[A]

It's in his head.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If I was a coach, I'd be like, get that kid young.

[A]

Yeah, grab him.

[B]

That's what we want.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

What you want is an intelligent psycho, you know, Intelligent, driven, hyper competitive psycho.

[A]

Hyper competitive. The other kid, my youngest, will walk up a flight of stairs. He goes, my legs hurt. I'm like, what? He goes, I want to go rest. I'm like, we just walked up a fucking flight of stairs. He's like, I know, but my legs are killing me.

[B]

Like, it's completely so funny that, that, that, that is such the case. Yeah, it's such the case. It's, it's interesting because there is this thought of like, what a personality is. Like, where does it all come from? It's like a combination of so many different things. It's a combination of nature, nurture, genetics.

[A]

It's everything. You're right.

[B]

It's also being exposed to things that bring that out of you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like, imagine if he had never been exposed to the running, never done jiu jitsu, never done anything.

[A]

Then what happens?

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah, the other kid, he's like, you could tell he has, he has, he has like a comedian's mindset. Yeah, he's a complainer. You know, like every, like funny person complains.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like the other day I was in the writer's room, I ate something. I was like in the writer's room, But I was. My stomach was like me up all day. I was on the toilet. I was like, it was like brutal to get through the day. I get home and he's in my room watching tv. And I lay down, I go, hey, can you turn that off? Because I want to rest. Like, my stomach is bothering me. And he goes, oh, you want to snooze?

[B]

How old is he, seven?

[A]

He goes, you want to snooze? Because I almost fucking threw up today. What's the. He goes, yeah, my stomach's been. I go, dude, I've been on the toilet for, like, three hours, please. And he goes, all right, why don't you have your little snooze? I'll go out here. He's, like, very animated, you know? And then he saw me wear a suit. This is insane. He saw me wear a suit, and I'm, like, walking out of the house. And he goes, hey. I go. He goes, where's my suit? And I go, what? And then I'm not kidding you. He goes, I look like a fucking asshole. I go, what are you talking about? He goes, you're in this suit. I look like an. He goes, get me a suit. And I go, oh, my God, you don't need a suit. And he goes, yes, I do. Why do you get to look like that? I look like a. I was like, all right, bro. He's always. Yeah. I mean, he's always, like, complaining.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[A]

And it's just funny because that would.

[B]

Be an amazing sitcom scene.

[A]

I know. If you had a kid like that, it's.

[B]

That would be. I look like a. Yeah, that would be an amazing scene.

[A]

We call him Joe Pesci because he's always talking like that. He's always bothered, you know, he's always hot, and you're like, this is not a big deal, man. Yes, it is. That's always like, yeah, he's just fired up about.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[A]

But that's also in him, right? I mean, it's part of his personality.

[B]

Yeah. It's weird. It's like, kids get something from you, right? They get some genetics, and then they kind of get whatever that gift the universe gives.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Whereas, like, that kid's not like, either one of us. Like, where'd you come from?

[A]

Christina thinks that he. She's. Every time. He's, like, fired up about something, and I'm like, look at this kid. She goes, that is you. Like, no. When. She goes, yes.

[B]

Well, you have a little of that in you. Yeah, you definitely do. I remember one of the things. One of the most impressive things about our sober October thing was you got the flu, and so you were out of it for, like, a couple of days.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so the moment you got back where you felt good, you ran, like, 15 miles in a day.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro.

[B]

We were all going nuts.

[A]

Yeah, I was. Because I was like, I can't be, like, dead, dead last. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, I just can't.

[B]

I was in the gym at the old studio with Ari. And Ari, he said, could I use your gym? Like, of course. He's like, after the podcast, I'm gonna work out. I gotta get my numbers in. And so I was hanging out with him while he was rowing. And he's got a six pack.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, this is crazy. Go, Ari. You have a six pack now. I go, you're ripped. I go, you look great. He's like, oh, thanks. And he was just fucking rowing. He rode for a full hour, man. It was that with a chest strap on, like, racking up his numbers.

[A]

It was the same voice in his head going, don't be dead last. We all knew your crazy ass was going to be going, like, totally psycho. So we were just like, we can't be dead last of the rest of us.

[B]

Ari was trying to beat me. Yeah, 100%. I know he was.

[A]

Yeah, but you were, like, pissing blood. We were like, this guy's a little too crazy.

[B]

Well, I decided one day to just, like, take it to, like, I wanted to see, like, what can I do? It's the most wonderful time of the year, and not just because of the holidays. Football is heating up and DraftKings sportsbook, America's top rated sportsbook for live betting, is bringing cheer to new customers with a gift you can use right away. For a limited time, new customers can bet just $10, and DraftKings will give you $50 instantly in bonus bets. No holiday waiting, no wrapping required, just instant bonus action. To make every kickoff feel like unwrapping a present, download the DraftKings sportsbook app. Use promo code Rogan. That's promo code ROGAN. To get $50 in bonus bets instantly. When you bet $10, use promo code ROGAN in partnership with DraftKings Sportsbook. The crown is yours. Visit opgr.org or call 1-877-MY-LIMED Talk text or chat about your own or someone else's. Gambling resources are free. Must be 21 and over and in Oregon to place wagers. Eligibility restrictions apply. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see sportsbook.draftkings.com promos. This episode is brought to you by Monster Ultra. Everybody knows the white monster. That clean, white can zero sugar crisp. It's everywhere lately. Gyms, your favorite Convenience store studios, you name it. I see people toss it into their bag before training or a long drive. Big flavor, zero sugar. That same monster energy kick. But Ultra didn't stop there. There's a whole lineup now. Vice, Guava, Blue Hawaiian, and the new Wild Passion. My favorite is Strawberry Dreams. It's smooth and sweet with a touch of tart strawberry flavor. Ooh. And if you're loyal to the white can. Cool. Just know that you've got options. Visit monsterenergy.com to learn more. That was the day I did seven hours of cardio, I think, and set off my alarm in my gym for my sweat.

[A]

Jesus. I set off the fire alarm from just being so. Yeah. Video of it.

[B]

It's a video on Instagram of the puddles on the ground are the most preposterous thing. I. I sweat puddles.

[A]

I think your wife, too, right? Because my.

[B]

She was like, do this anymore.

[A]

She was like, what are you doing? Like, you're not spending any time with your family. You're just, like, so obsessed with this thing.

[B]

It's like I. I remet an old friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's what it was like for me. It was like, oh, I forgot that guy's in there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't necessarily like that guy. Yeah, he scares me. It's like, I don't. Like, something scares me. Not. Not being dramatic. This is what it is. That. That could derail your life. So you could. That obsession could take over again with something, with anything, and then I won't be doing anything. But that thing. Like, that's one of the reasons why I like to do a lot of stuff. It's because I don't want one obsession that. Yeah, I don't want that one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That brain to focus on. It's not good for mental health. It's really good for success. Like, if you're really gonna get really good at one thing, that's the thing. But for overall happiness, I don't find that to be appealing. I don't like that feeling. Like, that sober October feeling was kind of crazy.

[A]

This is kind of why, like, I feel like I. I'm trying to embrace a lifestyle that's not. That's accessible but not dramatic. Like, I could go and go, I'm gonna do, you know, two and a half hours at the gym every day.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I'm sure my results would. Would show.

[B]

Right. I want to look like Iron man or whoever.

[A]

But the. My problem is, like, Iron man is like. It's like, not. That doesn't feel like I'M gonna run out at some point. Be like, this is unsustainable.

[B]

So I'd rather it's gonna take from your other things.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. I got. I gotta do it where, like, I'll do an hour and change what, you know, of training and you try to dial in eating and like, that's, that's. You can keep that.

[B]

Yes, that's.

[A]

That's sustainable, right?

[B]

Exactly. Yeah, but it's like, what are you trying? It depends on what you're trying to do. It's like, we both have families, we both have a lot. You know, there's a lot of people in our lives. You can't just be a maniac and focus on one thing. You can't ten out, like Gordon Ryan. That's his Abu Dhabi belt up there. Oh, well, that guy trains 365 days a year.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He doesn't take fuck you for Christmas, fuck you for your birthday. Oh, it's Easter. Fuck you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, that's how he became the best of all time. Like, if you really want to do something, that's the second. But. But he doesn't have kids. He's not married. He's only, you know, now he's 30. But he did all this when he was in his mid-20s.

[A]

That's also the age to be that obsessed with something.

[B]

Exactly. Especially if you want to do this one thing that everybody else is working really hard too. You got to figure out how to separate yourself. And it's like if you're running an ultramarathon and you have 200 miles to run and you take time in your running and you're running at a really good pace, maybe even a faster pace than other people. But then you take naps. You take a nap for an hour or two hours or three hours, and then you say, look, it'll be better this way. And then I'll be revived. I'm still really ahead. That guy who's not going to take any naps is going to beat you because he's just going to keep running, running. He's going to keep running, and before you know it, a lot of these ultras, like the guy who wins, they win by like 10 hours. They win by nutty time. Courtney Del Walter, the lady who was on our podcast once, she ran the Bigfoot 240, I think, and I think she was like eight hours ahead of the second place.

[A]

I kind of don't understand the mentality that the ultra people have.

[B]

Like, oh, it's dark.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, I don't get.

[B]

It's dark.

[A]

How do you, how you actually get there?

[B]

Well, you, you have to be a complete nut. And then you have to want to test yourself to the point of almost death, because that's what these people are doing. They're running like goggins. He ran one of these things, got rhabdo. So rhabdomylosis was when you, you worked out too hard, your body can't recover and you start pissing brown real bad. Your kidneys are breaking down. He had to go to the hospital. Went to the hospital, got out of the hospital, completed the race. And then he did like 100 push ups. He's like, there's, he's like, he's getting to the door of death. Yeah, just the door.

[A]

And that's how he feels normal.

[B]

Yeah, he feels alive by like getting his body to. And he's 50, by the way.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Yeah, he's a maniac.

[A]

Did you watch, by the way, did you watch the Anthony Joshua, Jake Paul?

[B]

I did.

[A]

Of course I did. Yeah, I would, I would have guessed.

[B]

Yeah. I had to watch it, the spectacle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Look, that guy did great. For someone who's been boxing for like less than a decade, he has had no real professional opponents other than Tommy Fury that were legitimate world class boxers.

[A]

I don't even remember what happened in the time.

[B]

He lost a close decision, but it was a good fight. It was a good fight though. He's a good boxer. If he wasn't a YouTuber, people would be way more impressed with him. The problem is he was like a famous kid and then no one took him seriously.

[A]

Yeah. But, oh, and then he started too with like more spectacle, ish fights. People were like, oh, this is you. He fought, you know, Nate Robinson like a basketball player.

[B]

But the thing is, he knocked Nate Robinson.

[A]

He knocked him the fuck out.

[B]

And it's the way he did it that I was trying to tell people. I'm like, no, no, that was skillful. So like there's, there's like boxing matches where you see two guys just slugging it out. One guy lands a punch and yeah, he landed a good punch. What Jake did is he slid back and landed a punch. Yeah, it's like the athleticism along with the intelligence, the technique. I'm like, he's not even doing it that long. And he's also hyper competitive even though he's wealthy. You know, like you would assume that wealth would take away your drive for competition.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's also nuts.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Just the fact that he's willing to Fight. The two time heavyweight champion, former Olympic gold medalist. A guy who's gigantic in his prime, built like a Greek God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're gonna stand and he's one punch killer and you're going to stand in front of that guy. And he avoided shots till the sixth round. He just started getting tired.

[A]

Yeah, his movement in that fight was crazy.

[B]

It was very good.

[A]

Yeah, he was really keeping him moving around the whole ring and then you.

[B]

Can'T afford to get tired. That's the thing is like he gets tired in a lot of his fights in the later rounds. You should really sort that out because if he did, if he had a much bigger gas tank, like if he was training with like some of these elite world class strength and conditioning coaches and just worked on his cardio, he'd be beating way more guys.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

Yeah, 100%. But it's like what he's doing is learning how to box and he's boxing and he's training hard for sure. But to, to get that world class gas tank, you need like a Sam Kalavita. You need like a Nick Curson. You need like these plyometrics experts that are got heart rate monitors on you and they're checking when your recovery is ready. And go Y. You need guys monitoring your recovery, monitoring your heart rate variability, your VO2 max.

[A]

I couldn't believe.

[B]

I don't. And maybe he is, maybe I'm wrong, maybe he is doing that. But whatever it is, it's not, it's not enough. It's not enough because in so many of his fights, like the Nate Diaz fight, he gets tired in the later rounds. In the beginning. Look, if that guy is only fighting three rounds, he's a fucking handful. He's really good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He clocked Anthony Joshua. He did hit him with a big right hand.

[A]

He did.

[B]

Didn't have any effect. Yeah, because he's, you know, really, he weighed 216, but he's, he's doesn't even have abs, right. At 216, he could easily weigh 190. I'm sure he could make 190.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anthony Joshua's gigantic.

[A]

So big.

[B]

He's so big. He's so much bigger. So of course like his punch that he knocks Tyron Woodley out cold with, Joshua just eats it. Yeah, because he's a giant. Yeah, he's a fucking giant, man. He's so big, dude. He's so big.

[A]

He's. I give, I give Jake so much credit for stepping into that ring, bro.

[B]

He got hit With a bomb, a.

[A]

Right hand bomb when he got hit with that too. I don't know if enough has been made of the fact that, I mean, it was absolutely devastating, but the fact that he had awareness immediately to go like. Like he looked at the pal, he's like, oh, shit.

[B]

Like, wow.

[A]

It wasn't like.

[B]

I think he went into that fight knowing that was probably going to happen. And ultimately the big win for him would be that he was even willing to do it and that he could do well for a little bit.

[A]

For a little bit. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And then eventually just deal with the fact that Anthony Joshua is going to kineko a bomb.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And breaks his jaw in two places.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's his jaws wired shut now. He lost teeth, see?

[A]

I mean, he made it to the sixth round.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pretty wild.

[B]

Did they put your teeth back in when they pop out like that, are they gone forever?

[A]

I don't know. I don't know. But this shit's wired shut for like six weeks now.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta eat nothing but protein shakes, bro. It's a. I mean, look, it's a crazy world. The thing is that I would hope that he recognizes is right now he's doing great. And he's only. Whatever he is. 28, I think.

[A]

Is he 28?

[B]

I think he is. How old is Jake Paul? He's young, God damn. And he's probably made 300 million-plus in his boxing career. How old is Jake Paul? I'll be 29. And look at that. So he's 28 years old. 29 next month. Don't do this very long because there, there, there's a price that you pay that is not worth it. It's not worth it. And that price is depression. Deep depression, a severe brain imbalance that's going to lead you to addiction. It leads so many people to impulsive behavior. So many people become gambling addicts, drug addicts, alcoholics, after their fighting career. Yeah, it's, it's. You could only take so much. And at a certain. Like that one that he got from Joshua. Ooh. You know, say if you have like a punch card, you have like so many punch that you can get in your life, which I believe you do.

[A]

I believe.

[B]

I believe there's a certain number. That one was like ten bunches.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was like. Yeah. There's a lot of concussions in that one punch.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

That was real damage. Like if someone's breaking your jaw in two places, the inside of your head is. There's a lot of damage going on in There too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just don't do it for. I know too many guys that, like, they wanted to be cool guys, and they kept sparring. Like, deep into their 30s and 40s, they would go to the gym and do hard spot, not jiu jitsu. Boxing. Boxing, sparring. So they're just standing in front of each other, slugging it out. They get bloody noses. They'd laugh about it and think it was cool. And then they go about their day. And I'm like, man, that's gonna get you. Because at a certain point in time, the depression is unavoidable. It just creeps it. You just every. You just. Oh, you don't feel good. You just don't feel good. Like, you're just like. All the time. Just. Oh, their whole day is like that.

[A]

Oh, no, thanks.

[B]

You know that feeling when you're hungover? That's their life.

[A]

That's. No. There's no way to live.

[B]

And it's. It varies. Some guys don't get that.

[A]

And he definitely doesn't have to do that.

[B]

Not anymore.

[A]

No.

[B]

If he could do anything, that guy can do anything. If he could do what he did in boxing, he could do anything. Just don't do it forever. Yeah, it's just one of them things where it's like, the price you pay is eventually not worth it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Awesome that he did. I mean, awesome that he. He made. He probably made $100 million Saturday night.

[A]

Jesus Christ. That's so much.

[B]

I don't know what he got paid. But also, it's probably worth another 100 million in publicity easily, because people loved watching him get knocked out.

[A]

They did.

[B]

Also, how to say, that guy has balls. And he does. He earned it. He earned it. He. That guy has ever. If he doesn't have your respect after that fight, because a lot of people, like, are you gonna fight Gervonta Davis? He's only 135 pounds. He's like, okay, I'll fight a guy 110 pounds bigger. So you've.

[A]

Now. You couldn't pay. You could not pay me enough.

[B]

Guys got balls. He's got nothing but respect for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nothing but respect. Just don't. Don't do it forever. There's. There comes a time where the cost is not worth it, because some people never return. That's what you have to understand. There's. There's people that get out. Like, if you listen to Randy Couture talk, now talks fine. He's great. He was knocked out a bunch of times. Chuck Liddell knocked him Out.

[A]

They knew when to dip out.

[B]

Knew when to dip out. And, you know, Randy also, like, really didn't even begin his UFC career until his late 30s, if I'm correct. He was either 35. It might have been 34, or 35. When he had his first UFC fight. I was there. That was in, like, the middle of nowhere in the South.

[A]

Pretty old, right?

[B]

Well, he was an elite wrestler. He was an elite Greco Roman wrestler, and then he got into MMA late in life, back in the time, the days when you'd be able to wear shoes. They used to wear wrestling shoes when they fought.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

The early days. Used to be able to wear shoes, but, like, he's fine. There's a bunch of guys that are still fine, but there's a bunch of guys that are really struggling. Really struggling. Don't get there. Don't get there.

[A]

Scary.

[B]

Dip out before that happens. Know when to dip out and have friends that tell you when to dip out. You gotta. You have a coach, a coach that doesn't say, well, let's give it one more shot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, don't. That. That's not. You only want to be doing that if you're trying to be the best in the world. That's my opinion. I mean, there's a lot of guys who are never going to be the best in the world, and they still love competing, but. And that's great, too. And there's a lot of guys that make a living doing it, and they make good money and, you know, and they feed their families. And I'm not. I'm not saying. But if you have an option, I don't think you should do unless you're a fucking complete maniac. Absolutely obsessed. You want to do it more than you want to do anything else in life, because if you don't feel like that, there's a guy out there that does.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that guy's gonna to you up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That guy's going to come and take your soul away from you. I always think of Mike Tyson when he was 20.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, if you're not that dedicated, you shouldn't be fighting, because Mike Tyson's not one person. There's a bunch of those guys out there. There's Alex Pereira. There's all these. All these guys out there in the world that are that obsessed. You know, there's all these Islam Makachevs and Ilia Torias. There's these guys out there in the.

[A]

World that are just driven to do it.

[B]

And if you want to Fight if you really want to fight. If you run into one of those guys and you're not doing what they're doing, you're going to get tuned up.

[A]

Alex. I didn't realize how big he is.

[B]

Giant.

[A]

I did not realize that until the photo of him next to somebody I know, like a friend. And I was like, there's a lot.

[B]

Of chatter about him fighting in the heavyweight division now.

[A]

Really?

[B]

There's a lot of chatter about it. There's a lot of chatter about him perhaps even fighting. Cyril. Gone. I don't know how much of this is true. I haven't talked to Dana about it.

[A]

It.

[B]

But it's not an illogical move. He's 240 pounds right now. 240 plus.

[A]

And he's like, what, six, four, six, six, five.

[B]

Six, six, four, six, five. And don't make. Make no mistake about it. That guy can knock out heavyweights, no doubt about it. He hits harder than anyone they've ever recorded ever on that stupid punch machine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know that thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Francis and Gano got like a 129 on it, which is crazy. He got a 190.

[A]

190.

[B]

190. When you watch him hit it, you're like, what the. You want to see it? You should just see it. Just to feel what it would feel like to get hit in the head by that.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Like, that guy. He's out there in the world.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Like, if you think you're going to be a journeyman and you're going to all of a sudden, you know, be looking across the octagon and that guy's standing there, trauma. Like, he's going to hunt you. He's going to hunt you. And you, you're not. Not in that space that he's in. He's in a killer be killed space and you're in a. This is fun to compete.

[A]

Yeah. It's not the same thing. Not the same thing.

[B]

Watch this video because it's bananas.

[A]

Holy.

[B]

When he. When he hits it, you just go. Everybody around him goes, oh, like, what the. They watch this. Oh, my gosh. See that one more time. One more time. Well, you do it from the beginning. Look at it that if you don't. That sound is so crazy.

[A]

Yeah, that's your face.

[B]

You know what? Mark Goddard. Mark Goddard was the referee in his fight with Khalil Roundtree. And he came up to me right after the fight. Like, I got into the octagon. They Were going to, you know, announce Alex Pereira winner by knockout. Goddard walks up to me goes, the sound that guy makes, he goes, I've been doing this for 20 years. He goes, the sound is ungodly.

[A]

Really?

[B]

It's ungodly.

[A]

It's different.

[B]

And you can see when you're hearing, doing commentary, you see the look on the guys faces when they get hit. They're like, oh, this is real. This is different.

[A]

Yeah, there's some different dudes out there.

[B]

There's some different dudes out there. And that's, that's a different. Not just of dedication and drive and focus, because he definitely has all that, but it's genetics. That dude is a legitimate Amazon warrior.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like he's, he comes from a tribe in the Amazon and he goes back to that tribe and he gets, he puts on the traditional outfits that they wear and the, the face paint and hangs out with them. And it's like, yo, he would have been the tribal warlord.

[A]

Yeah, he would have been. Back in the day.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that's his, that's his ancestry.

[A]

Me.

[B]

Yeah. He speaks their language.

[A]

Oh, he does, like the dialect.

[B]

I. I think I don't want to misspeak. But I'm pretty sure he understands what they're saying because he's talking to them. Not just Portuguese, like Brazil, but they have. That whole Amazon area is so fascinating, man.

[A]

Have you been to the Amazon?

[B]

No.

[A]

I went once.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What'd you do?

[A]

My uncle was working for an oil company in, in Peru. And there's a part of Peru called Iquitos in the north, which is the jungle. And I went with him and we went out on the Amazon and then we pulled up to some place and he's like, we're gonna eat here, right? It's not like Terry Blacks, right. It's just like some, A shack. Shack. And the guy just kept praying. I was like, what am I eating? He was like, I'll tell you later.

[B]

Piranha.

[A]

It was all kinds of weird.

[B]

What were we eating?

[A]

I mean, snakes and rabbits and, and you know, like Amazonian that I've never even heard of. And I would take bites. I'm like, what is this? Later, I'll tell you later. Okay. Eat all this stuff. And I was like, this is crazy. But when you're out there. Yeah. You are kind of wowed. You know, you're just in awe of everything around you and like, just the fact that this is in on the planet with us and you, you know, you can make a trek to a place like this where there's species of, not just animals, flowers and trees and things that don't exist anywhere else. And it's so rich with everything that's there. It's a, it's an awe inspiring kind of thing.

[B]

It hasn't even been documented. I mean there's so many pharmaceutical drugs that come from plants they find in the Amazon.

[A]

It's wild.

[B]

It's crazy. It's such a crazy place. You know the craziest part about it, the density of the Amazon rainforest is essentially man made.

[A]

Man made?

[B]

Man made? Yeah.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. They didn't know that until fairly recently. Those are agriculture plants that grew out of control. Out of control.

[A]

And they constantly. But they'll find, you know, they'll find like a species of a bird and they'll be like this is the only place we've ever seen this bird. It doesn't exist anywhere else on the planet.

[B]

It all used to be populated too. That's what's really crazy.

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

Have you seen that lidar stuff? They do?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And they find all these ancient structures.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The white man came and brought the cooties and happened.

[A]

And there's still like these tribes that live there and literally have blow darts. Oh yeah, that hunt. That's how they kill their meals.

[B]

My friend Paul Rosolie lives there.

[A]

Lives there.

[B]

He lives in the Amazon. He's got the, this organization that's working to try to preserve the rainforest. One of the things they do is they find these loggers. And these loggers generally they're poor guys that just get forced to do these jobs and he pays them more than they get paid as loggers to protect the rainforest. So instead of cutting it down now you have a job where you get paid more. But now your job is to protect the forest.

[A]

So they plant more and everything.

[B]

Yeah, they plant more. They stop people from. I don't know if they plant honestly they stop people from cutting things down. The problem with planting and this is where the Amazon gets really weird. The Amazon soil natively is, is not conducive for growing a lot of stuff. So there's a type of soil that's man made that they do not know how they did it, they do not know when they started doing it. But it's called terra preta. So what it's called and it's a thick dark man made soil. So it's essentially compost and all these, this different process and carbon and a bunch of things that they get into this man made layer that's all over the Amazon.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That whole area, we thought it like. So you know this Lost City of Z story. So the Lost City of Z was that movie. Did you ever see it? Was it Percy Richards? What was his name? Percy Fawcett. Percy Fawcett. Some. So this guy goes down to the Amazon a long time ago, and he comes back with this story, you know, European traveler comes back with this story of golden cities. And it's amazing. And so he comes back, he reports his findings, and then 100 years later, like a news search party goes down there to look for this place and they don't find nothing. Like, oh, that guy was full of shit. But he wasn't full of shit. It was all real. It's just that he brought the cooties. So they brought disease and literally wiped out millions of people. Millions of people. And the jungle just consumed whatever structures were there. And 100 years. Years, which is like, look at Detroit. Detroit is freezing cold. It's nowhere near as tropical as, of course, the Amazon, but Detroit, houses are just. Trees are growing straight through them. And it's only been like 50 years. So in a hundred years in the Amazon, everything was gone. All the people were dead. All the structures which were wood were all just like, consumed by the rainforest.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yeah. And they didn't even know this until they started doing this lidar stuff.

[A]

Stuff.

[B]

And so this lidar stuff, when they're flying over with this, it's. It's a type of laser and essentially it looks into the ground and finds structures right through the trees.

[A]

It can, like, scan things and they're.

[B]

Finding aqueducts and all in roads and. And like complex irrigation systems. Big, giant symmetrical structures like this. This is all covered by jungle. Like, these were all buildings and streets. Like, they. They had millions of people living in the Amazon. Millions.

[A]

This is like the same, you know, the theory that, you know how, like, UAPs have become more like. There's congressional testimonies about it and everybody's always talking about where are these visitors coming from?

[B]

Right.

[A]

But, like, one of the theories is that they're not visitors from somewhere else.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're visitors from our own planet.

[B]

That is an interesting thing I saw.

[A]

It's interesting especially just because we know how much of our planet is actually unexplored. Like, we always think of it as like, oh, we know the planet, right? But, like, most of the ocean is unexplored, like a huge number of. And then obviously things like the jungle where you're just discovering, like, oh, look, there's a whole civilization in there.

[B]

Well, there was a civilization, I think the Amazon rainforest. People that they encounter now, the uncontacted people are probably as survivors. Because the thing is, during the Ice Age, the equator was lush, so these areas probably had huge population. Yeah, huge populations, perfect climate. I mean, think about all the incredible structures that you find in those areas, like the Incan structures and the Mayan structures. Like, there were obviously like. Like a very advanced civilization back then.

[A]

Nothing makes sense when you're there. Like, I've been three times to Machu Picchu, and you're always, oh, you went to Machu Picu? Yeah, I went three times. And. And every time, because you see photos and stuff when you're actually there, you're like, I just. It's just. Your brain just goes. I. I don't. You know, it doesn't. Because it's all theories, right. Everyone, like, they'll. You'll have a guide who's like, this is how. And you're like, yeah, but this is your guess. You don't know that. That you know, because it just doesn't add up in your head how this could be built up in the Andes. Like.

[B]

Well, the predominant theory by the alternative historians is that water was that high back then in that area. Yeah. And that there have been some enormous seismic changes, you know, earthquakes and the like, which is one of the reasons why they made those stones the way they did in the first place. Like, if you see the stones, they're cut like jigsaw puzzle pieces and slipped into place.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The reason why they did that is because that would better redistribute any energy that would come from an earthquake.

[A]

But, like, just.

[B]

So instead of, like, bricks stacked on top of bricks, they're all, like, interlocking with each other with a bunch of different angles, and they're immense.

[A]

These pieces are so immense, immense. And it's laying perfectly flush against the next piece. Like, it's not, like, kind of sloppily thrown together. It looks like an architecture firm designed it and hired, you know, like, that There were cranes putting. You're like, how the fuck would this be put together in 1500?

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's really, really difficult to figure out. Yeah, they don't know. And they don't even know the date. The date is silly because they're. They're not what they're basing the data off of. There's a bunch of different structures. There's the base structure, which is way more complex and way bigger. Like sacs at Waman and a Bunch of these other places that they have layers of civilization that's really clear.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, the layers above it are, like, less sophisticated than the giant megalithic stuff that's below it. And yet they all try to attribute it to the same time. The problem is they get married to a timeline.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And once they get married to that timeline, then they go, oh, well, that's just what it is.

[A]

Just what it is.

[B]

But they don't know what it is. They're always there. They just discovered this new stone structure that is in Oregon, and it's 18,000 years old. They didn't even think up until fairly recently. They didn't think that people were here 18,000 years ago.

[A]

There's a structure in Oregon that's 18.

[B]

Let me see if I can find it. I think, yeah, here it is. I found it.

[A]

I always feel like when the experts give you that.

[B]

Did you find it, Jamie? Yeah. Testing yields new evidence of human occupation 18,000 years ago in Oregon.

[A]

Again.

[B]

So they just keep. And so this is a stone wall. It's pretty cool. So they found camel teeth fragments under a layer of volcanic ash from an eruption of Mount St. Helens that was dated over 15,000 years ago. Team also uncovered two finely crafted orange. I don't know what that word is.

[A]

A gate scrapers.

[B]

A gate scrapers. I guess a type of stone. One in 2012, preserved bison blood residue, and another in 2015 buried deeper in the ash. So they did the radiocarbon dating on this stuff, and they came up with a date of 18,250 years before present time.

[A]

Fuck, that's so goddamn long ago.

[B]

The date in association with stone tools suggests that the rimrock draw rock shelter is one of the oldest human occupation sites in North America. See if you can find what that looks like. So there's a few places in America where people are like, okay, what the fuck is this? And one of them that's really interesting. What does Perplexity have to say about this? The site is a shallow rock shelter about 3 meters deep, 20 meters long, on a basalt rim near the town of Riley in Harnage County, Oregon, at the northern edge of the Great Basin. Interesting. This stuff is so interesting to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because one. There's a weird one in Montana. Have you seen the. The sage wall in Montana? This one's really weird. So this one is actually debatable, apparently. So there are some people that are geologists that look at this and say, this has. It could be a natural formation. And other people look at it and go, yeah, but it has like legit tooling on it. So this is a wall that's on a piece of private property in Montana. Like, just looking at that image. Boy, that looks a lot like people made it. Yeah, that looks a lot like people made it. So the, there's an argument though, that there are similar but not as uniquely man made looking structures that are not. That are definitely not man made.

[A]

Wait, so this is a. The debate is that this might not be man made. Like this might be naturally occurring?

[B]

Exactly. Like, look at that. What are the odds that that is. What is that? Like, what is that? Is that. Well, the funny thing is evidence of an ancient civilization or is that just a geological formation?

[A]

Well, the funny thing is in that image I lean more towards. I could see how you could make a case of a natural formation, perhaps. But on the other ones where things look more stacked, it feels like that, like that second image below.

[B]

No, that's. I think that's AI.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

So I was trying to be careful which ones. Yeah, but when you look at it from the top, that's kind of crazy.

[A]

Yeah, that is kind of crazy.

[B]

There's parts of it though that look like. Well, there's stuff around that that just doesn't look as uniquely man made. But it's, it is without a doubt weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because if it turns out that people did make this thing and apparently it goes deep into the ground, like there's some, like there's some cuts that looks like. And then there's also some evidence that looks like somebody might have been working on the stone, like drill holes or something. I forget what it was. But look, look at these.

[A]

Yeah, that looks like.

[B]

Oh yeah, this is not that. That's comparing it to the stuff that's in Peru, which has some of the craziest stuff. Peru has some of the craziest stuff in the world. Like, look at that. That, like, look at that angle. Go back to that one right there. Like, what the is that? That's crazy. Nubs on any of these rocks? That's a good question. But some of them, like, boy, that looks really suspicious.

[A]

You've, you've looked up. I don't know if we've talked about the lines of Nazca before. Oh, yeah, that's.

[B]

So would you know about the, the mummies, the tridactyl mummies that they found in that area? Oh, boy.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh boy. Okay. So they've always had artwork that depicted these three fingered, three toed beings with big eyes. It's a part of like ancient Peruvian Artwork like they're dated back to like a thousand years. Well, they found these mummified remains of the weirdest looking creatures you've ever seen in your life. They're three feet tall, they have big heads, three fingers and three toes. And they're dead head. And then they do CT scans on them. They have all the ligaments and structure of a living being, but with. They like a different scapula than us. And I think, oh, they don't have a sternum, but they have all. They have the ribs that we have. I think the same amount of ribs, but their structure is different. But it's a real structure. Like when you see the structure with the CT scan, you see flesh and tissue, these things.

[A]

Whoa, bro.

[B]

This is all in Peru. So there's all these little metallic implants on this thing too. But this is the structure of its body. And as it goes further, it shows the tissue and everything because it's mummified. So you could see like ligaments and tissue. And when you. So this are. There's a bunch of different scans that they did. And one of them, the being was pregnant. But look, it has a spinal column. It has. All the joints are in order, but they're different than our joints in that area.

[A]

It was.

[B]

Yes. This is all in Peru. True. And it's all in the same. Like, look at this has a metallic golden implant in its forehead. And look at the size of its head. Like it looks like a gray.

[A]

Right, yeah.

[B]

See if you can get some of those images that show the. The CT scans of the tissue. Because the CT scans of the tissue are the weird. It also. There it is. So it also has fingerprints which are weird. Like, look at that. It has fingerprints, but they're different than ours and three digits unique fingerprints. They don't know what this is, but my friend Jesse Michaels went down there and saw them in person. He said it was unreal. This episode is brought to you by Visible. When your phone plans as good as visible, you've got to tell your people it's the ultimate wireless hack. To save money and still get great coverage and a reliable connection, get one line wireless with unlimited data and hotspot for $25 a month, taxes and fees included. All on Verizon's 5G network. Plus now, for a limited time, new members can get the Visible plan for just 19amonth. For the first 26 months, use promo code switch26 and save beyond the season. It's a deal. So good, you're going to want to tell your people switch [e-mail] Rogan terms apply. Limited time offers subject to change. See visible.com for plan features and network management details. This episode is brought to you by blinds.com Listen. Nothing ruins game day like sun blasting through your windows and glare on the big screen. That is where blinds.com comes in. Clutch. Here's the deal. Forget the old school way of buying window treatments. No pushy sales guy coming into your house. No mystery pricing. With blinds.com you're in control. Upfront pricing, zero pressure. Totally on your terms. Browse on your own and go full DIY if that's your thing or if you're like me and you don't want to deal with that stuff. Boom. White glove service license vetted. Pros show up, install everything. You sit back, turn the game on. Done. Not sure where to start. They've got design experts who will hop on a free consultation with you whenever you want. Want you tell them your vibe. They'll help you nail it. And get this. This is huge. Every order is backed by their 100% satisfaction guarantee. That is how confident they are. And right now, blinds.com is running black Friday deals all month long. So head over to see what they've got going on today. And as always, you can still get 40% off your purchase when you use my code, ROGAN40 at checkout. That's blinds.com promo code, ROGAN40. Limited time offer rules and restrictions apply. Real, he said. It's really bizarre.

[A]

Did I tell you when I went to the lineas the Nazca?

[B]

No.

[A]

So I went there. I was.

[B]

I was in pictures of, like, the whole skeleton.

[A]

And my uncle set me up to go see them with my dad. And so we got into what was a cartel plane that was confiscated by the government. It was now like a Peruvian government plant, like a military plane. But it was really like four. Four seats in the back, two pilots in the front, I think two propellers, right? One of those types of planes. The best way to see the lines is in a chopper so you can hover. But we went on a plane. Plane, and we're like. I mean, it's. You're. You can't believe what you're seeing, right? Like, you're.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're flying over, and they're taking. And then, like, the middle of it, my dad's like, I need to pee. And I'm like, what? He's like, tell the pilot I need to pee. I'm like, we're. You know, we're gonna keep doing this. He's Like, I have to pee now.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

So I go to the pilot. I was like, hey, my dad's got a pee. He's like, what? Yeah, he's like 65. I'm like, he's got a pee. And the guy's like, all right. So we just find some random airstrip, I think, in Pisco or something. And then how long does it take to do that? I forget. I mean, we had to go out of our way, and then, you know, he pees.

[B]

How long did it take?

[A]

I mean, for us to get to the airstrip? Probably like it was out of the way, so maybe like another 20 minutes or something. Oh, boy. Yeah. And I was like, dude. He's like, what am I supposed to do? I was like, I don't know. Didn't you pee before we got in this thing? He's like, yeah, but I gotta pee again.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And then they just like, walk around and they find an oil canteen that was like, discarded on the Runway. And they're like, this is for your dad so that if he has to pee again, we don't have to land the plane. And I was like, here you go, dad. Like, just. If it strikes you again, please piss in the. This.

[B]

Did he do it?

[A]

Yeah, he did it.

[B]

He did. He pissed.

[A]

He pissed again.

[B]

Oh, my God. He pissed in the oil can.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're flying around, your dad's pissed, My dad's.

[A]

And then where he's like, that's pretty neat. Looking at the lines of NASA, like, yeah, pretty neat, man.

[B]

Really bizarre.

[A]

It's kind of funny too, to think about.

[B]

Show me the images of the. The, like the red ones where it shows the tissues and the ligaments, the.

[A]

The fact that some people aren't wowed by things like this. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Jay Anderson had a good one. He had a bunch of good because he. He did a piece on it too. Yeah, well, you have to be out of your mind. You're not be wowed by this.

[A]

Yeah, I know, but don't you feel like half the population is like, oh, that's cool.

[B]

Half the population is asleep. Yeah, they're all on Tick Tock. It's all rotten. Their brain. They're all just so. Social media is like, transformed their attention. They're. They're locked in on nonsense, on things that don't have any. Any bearing on their life whatsoever. And that's what they're focusing on six hours a day? Yeah, that's a lot of people.

[A]

Then you show them something like this.

[B]

And they're like, this is, this is completely bananas. Yeah, that's a, that's not a human being. Alien. Yeah, it's a fucking alien. Or it might have been a kind of human being. Right, so you know about. There's a bunch of different ones, right? Everybody knows about Neanderthals, but there's also the hobbit people in the island of Flores. There's three foot tall human beings, things that looked probably like, you know, like a hobbit, like little chimpanzee. Look at that thing. A like, what is that? And the thing is, it's like if you just saw the outside, you'd go, oh, that's a cool structure or cool sculpture rather. But then when you see the actual ligaments and tendons and all the stuff inside of it, you go, oh no, this is a living being, whatever the hell it is. And they all have three toes and three fingers.

[A]

It just, it's, it's just strikes me too that like this. Look at that. The primary conversation. Look at that we're having though.

[B]

I mean, look at that.

[A]

I know.

[B]

How insane is that?

[A]

It's an alien, man.

[B]

They're very different. They also, they have different shaped heads. Like there's a difference between, you know.

[A]

How many did they find?

[B]

Oh, there's quite a few of them. There's quite a few of them.

[A]

What is the Montserrat is.

[B]

That's the bigger one. That's the biggest one that they.

[A]

That's the name they gave it.

[B]

Yeah, they gave it a name. So this is the largest one and the most impressive. And she has these metallic implants. She's got the one on her forehead and she's got several of them on her body. It's a very weird thing because it seems like it's a living creature, but it's not like a human being. Like even the way it's skull, those lines in the skull, like we all have those, whatever those, those lines are. Yeah, their lines are different than ours. Everything's different.

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

Yeah. When the way they found these things, grave robbers find them. So they don't really tell you where they found them. They lie about them. They find them in Peru.

[A]

But I mean like, how long ago did this happen?

[B]

All this is fairly recent.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All this is within the last decade or so. But they're really. The focus on. It has been over the last year or so where a lot of these scientists have gone down there to take a look at it and guys like Jesse Michaels and some other people. The problem is the, the country doesn't want them removed for testing. Right, right. But you're gonna have to bring equipment down there because testing has to be done. Like, we have to figure out what these things are because it seems like it's a life form that is a bipedal hominid that's different than us that probably lived alongside. By the way, that thing is also 1200 years old.

[A]

That's old.

[B]

Yeah. And that's 1200 years old. It's not a fake.

[A]

I wonder if that's the civilization that did those lines.

[B]

You know very well. Could be. They could be the same civilization that also did all those structures up there. There might have been living amongst us. There might have been multiple different civilizations in the past that just don't exist anymore. If these things turn out to be real, and they do have this enormous head and these weird spindly bodies and three fingers and three toes, and they start finding more and more artifacts that point to that. That changes our understanding of what has existed here before. Because whatever that thing is, it's. At the very least, it's advanced enough to give itself metal implants. Like what. What's going on there? Where it has a gold circle in its forehead implanted. Implanted into its skull. Like, what's the point of that? Like what? I mean, because gold does have a place in electronics. You know, they use gold in certain electronics. It's got great kind of conductivity.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So why does it have. What is that thing if it's a real thing? Everybody should be like, it should be front page.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Look at that. Look at that implant. That's Jay Anderson. He was actually just on.

[A]

What could this mean?

[B]

Yeah, bro, it's bananas.

[A]

Look at those eye. Like the slots for the eyes.

[B]

Yeah, like a gray alien.

[A]

Tri dactyl, but.

[B]

Yeah, like a gray alien. And by the way, like, people have described when they've had encounters, they've described things that look exactly like that. Three fingers, three toes, spindly big head, large eyes.

[A]

And he went down there and he went down.

[B]

My friend Mike Jesse Michaels went down there and actually touched them. He was. That was the first video. He was in the room while they were doing the scans. He said, it's so strange. He said, it feels so surreal because it's so obvious that it was a real living thing.

[A]

I don't understand how that's not like the lead story in the news everywhere.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, they're, you know, arguing over, you know, everything. Yeah, Everything else. Everything. Whatever the fuck it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can you believe what's going on with Turning Point usa? They found aliens know they found alien bodies. Like if you, you ever wanted alien bodies. Well, show me a body that's an alien body.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At the very least it's not us. So maybe it's from here and went extinct. Or maybe it's in the ocean.

[A]

Or the congressional testimony of like high level whistleblowers being like, we have these, whatever, this ship, whatever you want to call it, that we've. And then it's like in a congressional testimony, everyone's like, that's cool.

[B]

Nobody cares.

[A]

Nobody cares.

[B]

Yeah. Everybody's like tick tocking.

[A]

But it was funny.

[B]

Nicki Minaj was on stage at the TP usr.

[A]

It's crazy. It's really crazy to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That that's like, that's not captivating people more.

[B]

Well, I think, you know, people are in a trance. There's a giant percentage of our population that's in a trance. That should be the main news. Other than the wars. That should be the main news today.

[A]

Well, hopefully they're in a trance. To watch my new special teacher on Netflix.

[B]

I like how you did that.

[A]

Go ahead and zone out and watch that with your family.

[B]

Yeah. Wow. Comedy's super important when the world's go going crazy. It sure is when the world is going crazy. Right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We were talking about the Epstein releases like before we got started, like first.

[A]

Of all, like photo dump and the, the email nails. It's nuts.

[B]

But it's also there. They're doing it so slowly. Like you guys have had this stuff for a year. Like don't.

[A]

And we were promised multiple times. It's coming, it's coming.

[B]

Doesn't it seem like you could just throw all that into AI at this stage of the game?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And just redact the names of the victims and let's go.

[A]

Yeah. Of course.

[B]

It seems like that would take five minutes.

[A]

I mean it feels like, I mean can't. You can't help but feel like the administration is just like watching their backs and that's why it's happening.

[B]

Watching someone's back.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean it's all speculative why they haven't released it, but it's not good. It's not good for everybody's confidence. Also it's not good that this thing was going on, that they had this bizarre blackmail operation running. That's very weird.

[A]

Very strange.

[B]

Very weird. But it kind of makes sense because if you're a, you know, a 60 year old billionaire and you're a freak, and you like to get your freak on, but unfortunately, you're a gigantic software developer, and everybody knows who you are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it's hard to get your freak on.

[A]

Well, there's. That's the thing is, like, there's that it makes sense when you go, like, oh, some of these dudes really, like, visiting that place. It's like, that's the only place they can go.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You can't go anywhere else.

[B]

Right. And that's why they set it up for them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Eric Weinstein said that to me once. He, like, I was like, oh, okay, that makes sense.

[A]

If you're the former President of the United States, you can't go to a nightclub.

[B]

Yeah. He said, I think there are people out there that provide experiences for certain people that have a hunger for them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, of course, of course, of course. And that's also how they compromise people, too, right?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's how they get you to vote the way they want you to vote and play ball. Bobby, we got video. You sucking a dick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you want to do?

[B]

What do you want to do? Yeah, because, like, I bet all those people have something on them. That's how they stay in the game.

[A]

They have to.

[B]

Skull and Bones, you got to suck the dick. Well, look at, like, otherwise, we can't trust you.

[A]

For the Epstein, like, look at the level of people that we're visiting. I mean, it's all at the highest level of influence, power, and fame.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so you go, yeah, this dude wants to do some wild. He can't go to. He can't go to Cheetahs and get it done, you know? Yeah. You can't do it. He's got to go somewhere. Yeah. What sounds. A private island.

[B]

Yeah. He can't just, like, order up a call girl.

[A]

He's too. It's. It's too risky.

[B]

Where you going? I'm going to Captain Billionaire's house to suck his dick. I do it every Tuesday. Plus, I'm on meth, and I'm really good at keeping secrets.

[A]

Yeah. These guys. The. It's. It's dark. It's dark.

[B]

So some guy comes along and says, I can take care of your problem.

[A]

And then.

[B]

Yeah. And everybody says, oh, trust me. He's a great guy.

[A]

He's really cool, and he's got a great.

[B]

He also does this thing. Yeah. Yeah. Great sense of humor.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

His staff love him. They also do this thing where, you know, it's like, you're going to hang out with other famous people. So it must be safe. Hey, Bill Clinton's here. This is no problem.

[A]

This is a statement released by the.

[B]

Spokesperson or spokesman for Bill Clinton.

[A]

Oh, let's read that. Yeah.

[B]

Wait a minute. There's a person who signed it. I'm. My name is Angel Urina. Spokesman. Spokesman for the former President Bill Clinton. In that weird. He's the deputy chief of staff for Bill Clinton. Okay. He's. He's still got a chief of staff. What does he do these days? Epstein files Transparency act imposes a clear legal duty on the U.S. department of justice to produce the full and complete record of the public demands and deserves that. The public demands and deserves. However, what the democr. Department of justice has released so far in the manner in which it did so, though, makes one thing clear. Someone or something is being protected. We do not know whom, what or why. This is like the killer pretending to be the detective.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We've got to solve this crime. We do not know whom.

[A]

This is the killer joining the search party.

[B]

We do not know whom, what or why. Photosyou in a fucking hot tub, buddy. But we do know this. We need no such protection. Accordingly, we call on President Trump to direct Attorney General Bondi to immediately release any remaining materials referring to, mentioning or containing a photograph of Bill Clinton. This includes, without limitation, any records that may exist and are subject to disclosure under the act. Public Law 119 38, enacted on November 19, 2025, including grand jury transcripts, interview notes, photographs, and findings by the. This means a deal was made. So if you release. You have a press release like that, that means the call went well.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You got a deal. And. Whoo. We're good.

[A]

We are good.

[B]

All we have to do is let him run for a third term.

[A]

Him. And we're.

[B]

And look, he's.

[A]

Dude, Clinton chilling in that hot tub, too.

[B]

Hey, I would chill in a hot tub, too. It feels nice.

[A]

Yeah, it feels nice, but it just.

[B]

Like, what's the big deal? You're chilling in a hot tub. If I went to your house and you had a hot tub, like, let's all get in the hot tub. I get in there. Come on, take a picture of me. I'm like, dude, Yeah. I don't even know her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why'd you do that?

[A]

I don't know. I didn't know how old she was.

[B]

And you got cameras up all over your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

He knew what he was doing.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Probably watching people do coke in the bathroom. You got cameras of that? They were probably Doing all kinds of.

[A]

He was compromising a lot of people.

[B]

And made a ton of money doing it.

[A]

God damn, he sure did.

[B]

Boy, that's what's really weird. Like, he got gifted a giant mansion in Manhattan by that. The dude from Victoria.

[A]

Victoria's Secret. Yeah. And then that guy was like, yeah, he was just running my finances. But then I didn't realize what kind of guy he was. But I gave him a. Him billions of dollars to manage. And you're like, what?

[B]

Yeah. Know what kind of a guy he was after he got arrested for having sex with underage girls.

[A]

And so then I stopped working with him. Okay.

[B]

My favorite one was when they were questioning Bill Gates about it, and he goes, well, he. You know, he's dead now, so you got to be careful. Do you ever see that?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, it's crazy.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

That's crazy. She asked him, like, why he has, you know, these interactions with. With Jeffrey Epstein, and he's essentially saying it was a mistake. You know, I was hoping that he was gonna do a lot of work with philanthropy. Sure. He's gonna help me out with philanthropy.

[A]

Right. That's why I meet with him so many times.

[B]

But the end result, the final statement, that was chilling. He's like, he's dead now, so you have to be careful. Like, what.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

What does that mean? Mean? What do you mean, be careful to not hang yourself in jail, which is what the official story is, right? Is that what you mean? Be careful or you'll hang yourself in jail? Is that what you're saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, it's not what you're saying. You're saying be careful because someone killed them. Right? Which is what we all think, which is why there's no. The cameras were down, which is why the guards were asleep, which is why his. His gigantic roommate, who was a murderer and a drug dealing cop who assassinated people, who's built like a gorilla. You see his. You ever see his roommate?

[A]

No.

[B]

You never saw Jeffrey Epstein's roommate? Oh, boy.

[A]

He had a cellmate when he was there, bro.

[B]

Not only did he have a cellmate, he had a cellmate that murdered several people in drug deals. Who was a cop. He was a gigantic, roided up psychopath. This is the roommate I remember. You could get that guy to kill him for extra cigarettes is what my point is. He's in jail for life. I remember. Look at him. That guy, that guy. That was his fucking roommate. Just imagine what kind of a plan you would have for the biggest defendant in any sort of high level espionage, possibly involving foreign governments. And you'd put him in a prison cell, a cage, with a guy who's committed four. Four different murders.

[A]

That guy was a cop? Yes.

[B]

Look at the build on this motherfucker. Look at the size of this guy. Yeah, this is the guy. Murderer.

[A]

That's nice.

[B]

Yeah, he's a sweet guy. You put a murderer. Well, he had to have a bunch of things barking in case anyone came near his property to get back at him.

[A]

Do you remember that famous forensic. Michael Badden, Michael Baden.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He. He testified that the hyoid. I think it's called the hyoid bone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That was snapped on. On Epstein. Was far more consistent with, as he says, a homicide.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Than. It bothers me so much that he says it like that.

[B]

Homicide.

[A]

Yeah. He says.

[B]

I think he said it was broken in two places.

[A]

He's like, that's much more consistent with homicide than suicide.

[B]

Yeah, it was. Someone strangled him. Someone strangled him from behind. It was also the. The position. Here it is. Play this.

[A]

I regret doing that.

[B]

He had relationships with people he said, you know, would give to global health, which is a interest I have. You know, not nearly enough philanthropy goes in that direction. You know, those meetings were a mistake. They didn't result in what he purported. And I cut them off. You know, that goes back a long time ago now. There's, you know, so there's nothing new on that. It was reported that you continue to.

[A]

Meet with him over several years and.

[B]

That, in other words, a number of meetings.

[A]

What did you do when you found out about his background?

[B]

Well, you know, I've said I regretted having those dinners, and there's nothing, absolutely nothing new on that.

[A]

Is there a lesson for you, for anyone else looking.

[B]

Looking at this, well, he's dead. So, you know, in general, you always have to be careful. And, you know, the. You know, I'm very proud of what we've done in philanthropy. Very proud of the work of the foundation. You know, I. That's. That's what I get up every day and focus on. Me, too. I'm a good guy. Jesus Christ. Imagine if he was reading for a film. You'd be like, I don't believe a.

[A]

Word you just said. Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I don't believe a word you said.

[A]

Take two. Let's do this again.

[B]

Okay. Who wrote this? Like he's going to just transition from hanging out with this guy. He's dead now. To. I'm really proud of the work we've done with philanthropy. Let's a. Let's shift this conversation a much more positive place.

[A]

That's a PR spin.

[B]

I'm super proud of the work we've done with philanthropy. That's. You know, he got into all that stuff in the first place after the Microsoft stuff, because Microsoft at one point in time had these. All this anti competitive accusations. Yeah, right. And so he was thought as being this guy that like, you know, was drowning out competition, was monopolizing. Yeah. So then he pivoted, became a philanthropist. It's a good move.

[A]

It is a good move.

[B]

You know who else did that? The guy who invented the Nobel Prize.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Peter Berg told me the story. It's a cool story. So he dies, the guy, I forget what his first name is. His last name is Nobel. He died and everybody called him the Merchant of Death because he made dynamite.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So he didn't really die though. It was a fake story. So he saw the stories. He's like, hey, I'm not dead, but oh my God, this is how people think about me. This is how they're going to write about me after I'm dead. I got to do something to clean my image up. So to clean his image up, he invents the Nobel Prize. He starts giving out these prizes for peace and for physics and Nobel Prize literature. Yeah. And so then the Nobel Prize becomes synonymous with excellence. The name Nobel is now connected to that. Instead of connected to killing a bunch of motherfuckers with dynamite.

[A]

That's a great marketing move on his part.

[B]

Nuts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was his real name? Alfred Nobel. Alfred Nobel made dynamite, Right? That was the thing. Yeah, but I'm looking at the. The Nobel Prizes A. Well, it says there's a well known story about the origin of the Nobel Prize. Although historians have been unable to verify it and some dismiss it as a myth. Well, let's find out if the story of him being called the Merchant of Death are true. And the, the. The fake death when people thought he died. Is that true?

[A]

That's.

[B]

I mean, I have to just check that out real quick. This episode is brought to you by Trager. The holidays are right around the corner. And whether you're hosting festive feats or gifting the ultimate backyard upgrade, there's no better time to join the Trager hood than during Trager's holiday savings event. Right now you can save up to $300 on select Traeger grills, including the all new Ridge and the top of the line Timber line. These grills are loaded with innovative features and deliver that signature wood fired flavor with set it and forget it convenience. Perfect for holiday roast, smoked barbecue classics and game day cookouts. Thinking about trying the flat rock griddle. It's on sale too, so you can whip up holiday breakfast for the whole family and anyone else who's coming to town. £ Don't miss Traeger's biggest savings of the year. Head over to Traeger.com and use the code ROGAN25 for free shipping. Your ambition just met its match with Robin Hood. You play for the win. Not just on game day. Every day channel that drive into your money. Trade stocks and ETFs, options and futures all on one platform. You expect more from yourself. Expect more. More from your money. Get started [e-mail]. your money. Your money. Your move. Look that out. I bet it's true.

[A]

That's a good marketing move.

[B]

It's a move. It's a move that people do, you know.

[A]

Well, that was also what, you know, some really evil people have. Have done also, you know, like, if you want to, like serial killers, you know, like John Wayne Gacy was like, I do clown parties for kids.

[B]

Kids.

[A]

Like, it's like, look over here, I'm a fun guy. You know, Cosby was always like, you know, telling people how to live their life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, people don't tell dirty jokes. Yeah. Don't curse.

[B]

Swear. Yeah. He would call people up and tell them not to swear anymore.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Called mad at them.

[A]

Eddie Murphy. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Famous famously.

[A]

Yeah. With the filth.

[B]

Florin.

[A]

Filth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He did. He did do that. He did do that. I remember one time Wanda Sykes interviewed him, him at like some award thing. He was in the crowd and she came up to him and interview him and he was like, so rude to her.

[A]

He had so much disdain. I remember that too.

[B]

Remember? That was weird. Okay. Nobel grew extremely wealthy from inventions like dynamite and blasting gelatin, which are widely used in warfare and earned him the nickname the merchant of death in the press. 1888 French newspaper mistakenly published his obituary after his brother's death, condemning him as a man who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster. Foster this stock. This shock is widely seen as prompting him to rethink how he'd be remembered. So it is true.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This should be no dispute of this. In his will of 1895, he left most of his fortune to fund prizes for those who shall be conferred the greatest benefit on mankind. Of course, you're dead. You don't need your money. Nobel never publicly explained his motives. Duh. So historians Emphasize that any account of his reason. Reason is an informed reconstruction, not a direct statement from him. Okay, I get that because they're historians.

[A]

Did you see how I, I think it was. I don't. These days you don't know what. What's has to be confirmed. Not. But it looked like on the Kennedy center they started putting the name Trump on it.

[B]

Yeah. He added his name to it.

[A]

Yeah. It's crazy. And he took out the Kennedy Rose Garden. You're like, what? Oh, take it away. Now it's like a cement.

[B]

Not even. See, there's nothing nuttier than the plaques underneath the president.

[A]

That's insane. That's insane.

[B]

Shane and I were just reading them the other day.

[A]

It's insane.

[B]

How is this real?

[A]

It doesn't feel real. And you're just like how are you.

[B]

Allowed to do that? That's the thing. How is he around to write that.

[A]

In the White House? You can just probably, as president do what you want in the White House.

[B]

Turns out you obviously can.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because. But nobody ever did it before.

[A]

Those are going to get taken down.

[B]

No. They'll be up forever.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

They're going to leave it like that forever.

[A]

No fucking way.

[B]

Yeah. Like a museum piece.

[A]

It's so crazy.

[B]

They should have like the Trump wing. This is what happened when he was president.

[A]

Look at this fucking lunatic.

[B]

The auto pen photo of Joe Biden and.

[A]

And the actual what's written there is crazy.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

This is. It should widely considered the worst president of all. Like what are you talking about?

[B]

It should be like a museum.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It should be the facts of his presidency, what happened during his term. You know, the Iraq war started and da, da, da. Yeah, it should be that. Of course that's it.

[A]

If that, you know, and under Reagan it's like Reagan liked Trump and Trump liked him too.

[B]

Trump was a fan of Reagan.

[A]

What? Why is that?

[B]

Reagan was a fan of Trump. What?

[A]

It's yeah, guys, nuts. Crazy.

[B]

But you can't just let someone just fully swim in it like that.

[A]

I know.

[B]

So he needs like a right hand man. You go, sir.

[A]

I think they just let me just.

[B]

I understand the motive.

[A]

Well, he's also losing it too. You can tell.

[B]

Well, I think everybody does when you get to a certain age. Yeah, right.

[A]

Yeah, of course. I mean the guy's about to be 80. Right, right.

[B]

So there's no. And also the stress of going through what that guy went through where they were trying to jail him when they were going after him with the Russia thing. The Russia Hoax and all that.

[A]

Like, they were.

[B]

They were trying everything they could to destroy him. Just that alone's got to break your brain.

[A]

It radicalizes you. It makes. Yeah.

[B]

And then they took a shot at him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Somebody shot him. And that guy dies. And then when the guy dies, they find out that his apartment's been professionally scrubbed. They find out he was in a black rock commercial like, two years before that.

[A]

He was. Was. Oh, yeah, the shooter.

[B]

The shooter.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Was an actor. Yeah.

[B]

In the film. Yeah. But obviously he was, like, connected to some people that knew some people. What does that mean? It might mean nothing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it. There's also a lot of weirdness to his, his past. It does have a social media profile. It was like he, He. He seems like, like an MK Ultra plant.

[A]

This presidency, though, does feel like a parody of. Of a real thing. Like, it doesn't even feel real. What most.

[B]

There's a lot of stuff that doesn't feel real. The. For sure. The Rob Reiner thing didn't feel real. Oh, my God, that's. That seemed so insane.

[A]

You know, I didn't realize because I. I obviously knew him. I knew Rob Reiner as the actor from. From all in the Family, which he was. He was great in that role. And then I, I have memories of, like, I always think of, like, When Harry Met Sally, the Princess Bride.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And I was like, oh, yeah. You know, he's spinal.

[B]

Stand By Me.

[A]

Stand By Me. So I'm like, oh, you know, great storyteller comedy. I didn't realize until he died that he did Misery. I had no idea that was him.

[B]

Yeah, he did Misery too. Yeah, he did so many great films.

[A]

He really did. He really understood, like, human emotion and storytelling across the board. Because, like, it's one thing to be proficient in comedy, and you see this sometimes with comedy, really high level. Like, Adam McKay did so much high level comedy with Saturday Night Live and then, you know, Talladega Nights and. And like, those, those big Will Ferrell movies. And then his pivot into drama is, like, exceptional, you know, like, he's really, really good at it. And it's, like, really remarkable when they can make that jump. Yeah, he's really, really good.

[B]

Yeah, well, Jordan Peele, he's fantastic.

[A]

Another one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, he's.

[B]

He's made some giant, Giant horror movies that are just like.

[A]

And he was so funny in the comedy.

[B]

I know. So good. It's weird how good they are. It's weird how, like, different they are too.

[A]

Yeah. How they go like, I'm Comedy. I'm calm and then like this hard pivot into a totally different lane and be. Not just let me try it, but be like, excellent at it. Yeah.

[B]

But I kind of get it. Right. It's like if you can get really good at comedy, like, which is a complicated thing to do, you for sure have. Have other creative thoughts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're not.

[A]

Access to other things.

[B]

You're not really probably using those.

[A]

Yeah. And I think also they get. I think a lot of those guys.

[B]

Get bored, especially running a sketch show. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, after a while, you just beat all the topics to death, you know, I mean, how many topics on especially like a mid sketch show are so derivative?

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Yeah. There's a lot of that.

[A]

And they just go, I did it. There's nothing else to. To jump into.

[B]

Well, you might have like nine episodes you have to bang out. Well, I don't have to tell you. You're actually in the middle of it.

[A]

I'm in the middle of it. Yeah. We just finished writing season two, but you have a.

[B]

Your show is a giant advantage, is you could just. You go so far.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And be so ridiculous.

[A]

They kind of just let us do what we want, which is really crazy. I got the same notes. I got the first season. Don't say the N word. That was basically it. It's like, that's my. That's everything else. They're like, yeah, you can do that.

[B]

It's such a crazy show, dude.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

It's really fun, though.

[A]

It's so much fun. I had so much fun doing, doing it. I can't believe I get to do it again. And it's just. It is such a blast. We get to make these, like, sketches and like, little short films that are like, whatever we can think of. Whatever the craziest thing we can think of. And they're just like, yeah, do that. And they gave us a. They gave me, like, a mandate. They're like, we'd rather tell you. Tell you. That's too far than you should have gone further.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So they're just like, you can make it as crazy as you want. Want.

[B]

That's nuts. Yeah, but that's the beautiful thing about Netflix is the variety of what's on there is just so bananas. It's so wide ranging. There's so much on there.

[A]

I just watched the Beast in Me.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I'm on episode three right now. Don't tell me anything.

[A]

It gets so much better.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure it does.

[A]

And how good is Claire Danes. Claire Dane's amazing. Matthew Reese plays.

[B]

He's a psycho. Yeah, that guy's great.

[A]

He's phenomenal. And he plays that, that part so exceptionally well. I mean, it's just so good.

[B]

You know, people like him.

[A]

You know people like him and you know, you're like, this is a psycho dude.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great at it.

[A]

And it's like in the eyes. It's always in the eyes. You know, you see it in the eyes. It's like.

[B]

Yeah, he's really. He's got a darkness in him.

[A]

He really does.

[B]

Faking it. He ain't faking it.

[A]

You know what else I just saw? I saw it on Peacock and I was like, I was like, I don't, like, I don't have Peacock. I'm like, I don't. What are. This is like, you know Kevin Hart in a bathtub interview. Like, I don't know what's on Peacock. You know, I love Kevin, by the way, but like, it's like, you know, I mean, like these like, fun, silly. That's what I thought Peacock was. Or old NBC.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Reruns of like Their Old Friends. Yeah. I'm like, I don't want to it. And I got recommended to watch the Day of the Jackal. What's that? Fantastic.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. It's a thriller that is super high production and very cinematic, but the writing and the acting, unbelievable.

[B]

Who's in it?

[A]

Eddie Redmayne. I think it's his name. Eddie Redmayne is the lead in it. And I don't know that many of the names of the other actors, but it's incredibly produced.

[B]

Is it a series?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How many episodes?

[A]

So they're in. They're making season two now. I think season one was ten episodes. Wow. 120 million dollar budget for the season. Whoa.

[B]

I'm writing this down.

[A]

Down.

[B]

Day of the Jackal.

[A]

Day of the Jackal was excellent.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, this is. This is it.

[B]

Skim through the trailer. Watch it. Yeah, let's watch this trailer.

[A]

It's. That's, that's Eddie. It's really good, dude. I couldn't believe how captivated I was by it. Really, really well done. It's a, like a, you know, espionage type of thriller.

[B]

Those are my favorite.

[A]

Mine too. But this is what I watch instead of, you know, we were talking about comedy. I watch this.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, me too.

[A]

Yeah. He's really good in it, but so is everybody else. They're really, really good.

[B]

Right, Okay.

[A]

I can't recommend it enough okay, I'm on it. Really good.

[B]

Yeah, there's enough to watch these days, I'll tell you that.

[A]

Did you watch Dave?

[B]

You're sick.

[A]

What do you watch? Dave's Special.

[B]

Dave's Chappelle. No, I didn't see it yet.

[A]

It's great.

[B]

Yeah, I saw some clips.

[A]

That's right. I mean, it's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's vintage. It's Dave.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's. It hits. He does what he does so well. There's silliness, you know, seriousness. Seriousness, yeah. Some philosophy, lots of social commentary, provocative things. Hilarious. It's. It's good. It's really good.

[B]

I'll check it out. I'm sure it's going to be awesome. He's always awesome. He never misses.

[A]

He doesn't. I mean. And I think pissed a lot of people off, which is awesome. Always fun.

[B]

Yeah, I saw he went after Bill Maher.

[A]

Yeah, he said that. Dude, I never said this publicly, but that dude. Yeah, it's very funny. But it's a. It's a good special, man. It's really good.

[B]

It's funny.

[A]

Dave. Dave's in top four. I love that for me, by the way, because. So my special comes out Christmas Eve, right? And. And then six days later, Ricky Gervais comes out. Oh, and it was supposed. That was supposed to be. That was the release. Release timeline, right? They're like, there's. There's one earlier in the month and, like, you'll be Christmas Eve a week later. Ricky Gervais. I was like, cool. And then like three days prior, I get a call before it's announced, and they're like, hey, we gotta tell you, we're dropping a special, unannounced Chappelle special tonight. And I go, great. And they're like. They're like, I know. You know, it's. It's gonna take up a lot of oxygen in the room, obviously, because it's Dave. Right, Right. I go, yeah. I mean, I understand. I go, you. I go. You realize this is like being a musical artist and I've been working on my album. And you guys are like, we're so excited. And then you call me, you're like, just so you know, tomorrow we're releasing Radiohead's new album. And you're like, thanks. I mean, there's like. There's nothing you can do. It's like the big. The biggest guy is coming out with it, you know, but it's hilarious. He's great.

[B]

But people will watch it. It's only an hour and Then they're gonna want to watch more.

[A]

That's. That's the. Well, it's good. It's. One of the thoughts is they go like, it'll. It just makes stand up more. More popular.

[B]

100? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Stand up is very popular right now.

[A]

It's incredibly popular.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, there's more arena. Actually, I just saw Nate bergassi added a 3pm show out here.

[A]

Nate is on because. But Nate's thing makes sense when you think about it. When you start doing stand up, there's this thing that happens when you're early on young, doing stand up, and you start to, like, do spots. A lot of people will be like, hey, if you can't curse less, be clean. And you're like, that's not who I am. And they're like, all right, well. And they always say this thing, like, you'll get more opportunities. Different opportunities will come to you if you're like that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're like, whatever. I just. I don't do that. When you're really funny, like Nate is, and you get really good. What you see on the. On the business side of it is that when he announces a show, like when I announce the show, a couple might go like, let's go see. See him. Right. Like, I'll buy. They'll buy two tickets. But when Nate announces a show, that couple will bring their children, their parents, the. Their in laws, their neighbors.

[B]

So anybody.

[A]

Two tickets you can sell. He could sell 12.

[B]

And everybody's gonna enjoy it.

[A]

And they're all going to enjoy it.

[B]

Yeah. Because even if. Even though it's just clean, it's always clean. It's hilarious.

[A]

It's hilarious. He's really funny, but. He's really funny.

[B]

Gaffigan has that thing too.

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The whole family can go.

[B]

Go. Sebastian has that thing too. Like, you could bring anybody to see Sebastian and they'll.

[A]

They'll all have a good time. Yeah. But, yeah, that he can do three Marina shows in a city. It's crazy.

[B]

Yeah. It is nuts. But there's more people doing that now. Like I mentioned, Sebastian, you, Bert, Tony, I mean, there's Shane. Shane's doing a football arena.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

A stadium. Yeah. He's doing like 90, 000 people.

[A]

Yeah. Lincoln Financial, I think it is just.

[B]

There's people doing that now where there's so many of them. Where when we were coming up, the only people that had done it were Dane and Dice Clay.

[A]

Dice.

[B]

Yeah, it was Dice Clay and Dane Cook.

[A]

And for that you have to just. You go like, that is the Internet, man. The Internet made standup global.

[B]

Well, the Internet made Dane.

[A]

Right, right, right. That.

[B]

That's how it was. Like, he got huge from MySpace. He was the first guy.

[A]

Fact is, so many of us can move those kinds of tickets. Oh, yeah, it's a. It's because it's global.

[B]

I mean, 100%.

[A]

When it was just like, hey, catch my special at Comedy Central at 9 o' clock on Friday. Right. It's not going to have the same reach.

[B]

Right. Right now it's just clips too. Clips get shared. And then there so much word of mouth. It's like that's the one good thing about social media is if something comes out and people like it, whether it's a new special that dropped or a new song or anything, it just gets. It just gets share.

[A]

It's crazy. Yeah.

[B]

And things just. They just take off.

[A]

I know. It's. It's why I never. I did 40 arenas this year. Like, I. I never. I was never thinking that would be.

[B]

A thing, you know, I remember when I met you. Yeah, I met you in 2007. We did that real men of comedy tour together. Yeah, we. I met you in Phoenix. We did that little Hollywood theater, which.

[A]

I love that. The celebrity theater.

[B]

Celebrity theater. That's right.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That place is awesome.

[A]

That's one of my favorites in the round.

[B]

And it spins.

[A]

It's awesome.

[B]

That place rules. And I always love Phoenix, period. They're fun. That's a fun place.

[A]

Yeah, that's a really good place. Yeah, I went back there on this tour too. I went to the. I did the. The big arena there this time. It was amazing. It was one of my favorite shows of this tour.

[B]

Yeah, it's Phoenix rules. Yeah, I've done the arena in Phoenix too. It's fun, man. They're fun.

[A]

It's a fun city. City.

[B]

Yeah. Because they don't have much culture, but they do a lot of blow and they like to party.

[A]

They party hard. Phoenix, Arizona, just parties.

[B]

They party hard. Well, it's like think about the people that had to settle that place first. And you got cowboys and Mexicans. Just wild people.

[A]

It is, dude.

[B]

And then you got Scottsdale, which is all rich people.

[A]

I remember we went to dinner like that, I think the night before. Just like a steakhouse. And we were just like. Like we were like observing that when you go to dinner at a like the steakhouse in Phoenix, it feels like an after party, but it's just dinner. Do you know what I Mean, like, the vibe in there is that people are having a fucking good time.

[B]

They're partying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what Phoenix feels like.

[B]

Yeah. I always liked it because it was not Hollywood, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In every way. It was just not Hollywood.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Those people had no preconceived ideas of their own. Celebrity. They didn't want to become famous. Famous. Like, the problem with LA is the entire culture is wrapped around the possibility that you might become famous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that everybody really secretly wants to become famous. And some people might make it and some people won't, but the reason they.

[A]

Came there in the first place is to be famous.

[B]

They wanted to be famous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Phoenix. They just want coke. Get some coke. I party. I'm playing golf in the day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm doing coke at night.

[A]

Good time.

[B]

They're wild people.

[A]

That theater thing, too, there's. I. I don't know if I'm right about this, but I've been told that there's only two, maybe three theaters left in the round in the country.

[B]

That's the only one that I know of.

[A]

Well, there's the one in Long island that I also did that was. It's so fucking.

[B]

Which one's that?

[A]

Westbury Music Hall, I think it's called.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Is that what it's called?

[B]

I've heard of that place. I didn't know that was in the round.

[A]

That's in the round. It is so fucking fun.

[B]

The round rules.

[A]

I just did it. I did it a couple months ago. It was one of the most fun shows of the entire tour. Work.

[B]

I try to explain to people that never done it, like, oh, Arena. I'm like. I'm telling you. It's oddly intimate because everybody's facing everybody else. We're all in this together. It's not just a mass of people staring at a stage.

[A]

Right.

[B]

We're all wrapped up together.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It's cooler.

[A]

It's cool.

[B]

Yeah. It's a better vibe. It feels better.

[A]

You would love this theater, I'm sure. Yeah, it was. It's a rad.

[B]

I love that Phoenix one. That one rules. But do. Do any show that you could do in the round. Like, the first time I did, I remember. I don't know. Understand. Where do I move?

[A]

I think the first one I did was when we met.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I was also.

[B]

Might have been my first one, too.

[A]

I was kind of, like, intimidated. I was like, what the fuck? And then somebody told me once it might have been Louis, told me that. I think it was him. That told me when I was doing the, like, going into arenas, he's like, your. Your instinct will be to stay in the middle, but you should go further out to the edges. Because when you're further out to the edge, the outside of. Of the stage that's in the round, you're actually open to more people. Does that make sense?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because, like, if you're on this edge of the round stage, more people can see you over here. Right.

[B]

And you're closer to them.

[A]

And you're closer to them, too.

[B]

Yeah. It's more intimate if you're in the middle. It's like you're all standoffish. You have so much. You can come closer to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why are you all the way over there?

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Walking around, too, is fun.

[A]

That, to me is. I told somebody is what I think makes my performance better is that I'm a naturally kind of standstill guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But the round makes me move. Even though it's subtle movement, that keeps you more engaged because there's a constant movement to it, even if it's slow.

[B]

It's fun.

[A]

It is a fun thing.

[B]

Yeah, it's fun. And it is weird that so many of us get to do that now.

[A]

It's so bizarre.

[B]

It wasn't. It wasn't the case at all.

[A]

All. It's so bizarre.

[B]

I did some nutty ones with Dave. We did the Tacoma dome. That was 25, 000 people. So nuts. It was so nuts. It was so many people.

[A]

That's so many. That's so many.

[B]

It's very strange.

[A]

I did a couple with you guys. I did. I did New Orleans with you guys.

[B]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. That was fun.

[A]

And I think we did Nashville or something or Memphis together, too.

[B]

Yeah. I think it was Nashville.

[A]

The most fun one, though, ever. This was. Will. I think this will always be in my memory is when we did the. Like, Vegas is back. Oh, yeah. In the round.

[B]

Oh, yeah. That was fun.

[A]

At the MGM Arena.

[B]

That was fun.

[A]

And we were. I was unannounced.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And a couple other people were, too. I forget who was on that, but I remember the absolute, like, pandemonium of that place where I was, like, shaking because. Because it was like. Like things had been shut down. And they're like, this show is back. The shows are back, and this is the show to open Vegas again.

[B]

I don't think we'll ever feel that again.

[A]

Not like that.

[B]

Hopefully not. Because that means that the world went crazy again.

[A]

That's exactly Right. And it was like, you can't duplicate that. You can't duplicate it. It's almost like when you have an improv on, like, off the cuff line of something that just happened. And, like, you can't manufacture that. Right. You said the thing because this happened.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And, like, the world had shut down.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're like, here's a standup show in. In the round in the arena. Joe, Dave. And the crowd was just like. I mean, it was like a fever pitch.

[B]

It was so fun. There were so many people hanging out backstage. Remember that?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

It was so many people. I was like, I'd never seen this many celebrities at our shows.

[A]

There was a room. They were like, this is the red room. And this was backstage. And there was, like, 200 people in there.

[B]

Oh, so packed.

[A]

And I brought you in there because you didn't know about it either. I was like, have you been in here? And you're like, what the. Is all this whole extra room of, like, just people hanging out? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Whole extra room of, like, comics that I hadn't seen in years. Because everybody was kind of celebrating the fact that we could do shows again.

[A]

It was the best.

[B]

They all came out.

[A]

That was a such a special show.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, there was boxers there, rappers. It was like people were out. It's like, there's something to do again. It was like there was a feeling in the air there. It was so. And people. Some people were still scared. There's people still people wearing masks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was July.

[A]

I remember that. It was July.

[B]

Some people just didn't want to let it go. They were still connected to this idea that we could all die at any moment.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

I still see those people.

[A]

Yeah, they're still in some places.

[B]

There's some people that got broken. They got broken. They got broken. The stress of that whole thing was.

[A]

Also kind of depends on who you're around, too, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, I think you could put me with certain people, and then I would have been even more apprehensive.

[B]

Well, that was the thing that I felt about coming here, like, really quickly, that people here were not nearly as scared as people are in California. The whole attitude of the government here was very different. They were like, things should stay open. I remember I went and met with the governor and had dinner with him, and he was like, you know, we got to let people live their lives. They need free freedom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you should be able to make your own decisions doing this. I was like, yeah. And this is like before the vaccine, really? Yeah. And people had already started doing shows out here. We started doing shows out here early. We tested everybody. Remember we did those stub shows?

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

Yeah. Dave. Dave and I did these shows at Stubs.

[A]

We did a whole series, which is an outdoor venue.

[B]

Yeah. And we tested the whole crowd. So we tested these people for a of lot, like an hour before the show. Everybody queued up, everybody got tested, and we only wound up removing, like, two different people that were positive.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Most people knew that they weren't sick, you know, and we weren't doing pcr.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Which is the one that really gets a lot of false positives. They found out recently there was an estimate that PCR testing the false positives might have been as high as 86%.

[A]

86?

[B]

Yeah. The guy who invented the PCR testing, Kerry Mullis, said it should never be used to detect diseases. It's like, it's not what it's for. And he said if you ramp the cycles up high enough, you could find almost anything in people.

[A]

I did something once. It's shameful. I was. I had to test for, like, a trip somewhere, and then I had to. Had to, like, do it on a zoom with somebody, and it came out positive. So I threw it out the window. And then they were like, where is it? I go, my kid just threw it out the window. And they're like, what was it? I was like, I don't remember. I'll do it again. And then I just waited a week.

[B]

I remember the second time I tested positive. So I tested positive once. That was a whole horse dewormer CNN thing. And then the second time I tested positive, I didn't even know I had it. I couldn't believe it was real. I came in here sniffily. I came in here straight from the gym and I said, I got the sniffles. I said to Mercy, the nurse, I said, I go, must be Covid. Just joking around. And she was, actually, you're positive. I'm like, no fucking way. Like, no way.

[A]

Because you felt fine.

[B]

So I got IV vitamin drip, nad the whole deal. 24 hours later, I was not negative.

[A]

That nad shit's amazing. Amazing, amazing. And I also, I'll say this, and this is, I. I'm telling you, I have, knock on wood, I have not gotten sick in a while.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you're healthy now.

[A]

I'm healthy.

[B]

That's how it works.

[A]

That's how it works. But during the movie, I did over the Summer and during production on series first season one of my show, there were days like, I remember the first day we were shooting bad thoughts, season one, I was getting a cold and I did nad, like 500 milligrams or whatever. Like the high dose, three days in a row, and I was no longer. And I had never experienced anything like that because I was the type of person where, like, I get a cold and I am fucked for, like, weeks. And then the next time that I felt this, like, I'm like, you know, you feel, you know, you're like, oh, I'm getting sick. It would. I did. I was like, I'm doing the NAD thing again. Again, Three days in a row. Just jamming that into me. Like, high dosage completely went away.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Like, it didn't dip into, like, now you're really sick. It just was like, I'm getting sick. I'm not sick anymore.

[B]

Yeah, that was part of my Covid routine when I. The first time I had Covid, I did NAD along with IV vitamins. I don't even think I mentioned NAD when I did that little video that went viral. But that was. I recommend that to anybody whenever they get sick.

[A]

It's unbelievable.

[B]

High dose of vitamin C is amazing. Amazing. Too amazing.

[A]

I can't believe it.

[B]

Yeah. High dose vitamins intravenously when you're not feeling well is phenomenal because it gives your body all the weapons that it needs to fight off whatever the it's dealing with.

[A]

I feel like doing it tomorrow.

[B]

You should do it tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. You should do it all the time. You know what else? You should start doing it like I told you. Red light bed.

[A]

I know. You've been on that for a minute.

[B]

Yeah, it's amazing. It's incredible.

[A]

You said it helps your vision.

[B]

It helped my vision. 100.

[A]

I don't even understand that. Well, skin stuff.

[B]

Red light helps. Gets collagen or something. Put that into our sponsor, Perplexity. What is the benefits that Red Light has on your vision? Why does it work? But it works 100%. I could tell you for a fact there's two things that I've done. One thing, I've taken a lot of supplements for eyesight. I always talk about this company, Pure Encapsulations. I have no affiliation with them. I just buy their stuff. There's. They have a thing called Macular support Port. It's. Yeah, yeah, I take that stuff. So I take that stuff and I've been very consistent with that. It has a bunch of new. I Showed it to Huberman and he went over the list and he was like, oh, this is all great stuff. I take that. And I do red light multiple days a week. And it took a while. In the beginning, I thought it was actually making my eyesight worse because I.

[A]

Was like, because your eyes are covered during it?

[B]

No, I keep them open.

[A]

Keep your eyes open.

[B]

Red light. Yeah, Red light. Therapy using deep red wavelengths around 60, 670 nanometers. I don't know what they mean. Nanometers shows promise in improving declining vision by boosting mitochondrial function in the retinal cells. Studies indicate benefits particularly for age related vision loss. That's me. Macular degeneration and other eye conditions. Morning exposure appears most effective with effects lasting up to a week. So I do it. I try to do it three times a week.

[A]

How long do you do it for?

[B]

I do it 20 minutes. It says short sessions like three minutes weekly can enhance color contrast. Visioned by 17 to 20% adults over 34 with greater gains and older participants. That's me.

[A]

I'm getting it.

[B]

It's. It makes a big difference. Therapy supports retinal health by reducing inflammation, improving visual acuity and slowing proto photoreceptor decline. Emerging evidence also suggests help for dry eyes, myopia progression in children, and diabetic retinopathy. It works.

[A]

It works.

[B]

I'm telling you, it works. 100 with me. I used to struggle reading the screen sometimes. It would be kind of blurry. I'd have to, like, Jamie, make it bigger. Now I can see things way better than I used to be. When I said, jamie, make it bigger, I say, I used to.

[A]

I wear. I wear glasses all the time now.

[B]

I don't need them when I look at text messages anymore. I don't need them when I read emails anymore. And I don't need them on my computer anymore, which is a big one. That's a big one because I always used it when I wrote. And I realized the other day, like, oh, my God, I'm writing and I don't have my glasses on.

[A]

Joey Diaz will be so happy if I lose these.

[B]

What are you doing with those fucking glasses?

[A]

You're wearing your glasses.

[B]

I called them up today. I go, I'm doing podcast with security. Goes out. He met Pepe Le Blue Pew over there in France, and now he's making croissants. Who's this guy with his glasses?

[A]

Glasses? He's always on me for that.

[B]

I mean, that's Joey Diaz.

[A]

Joey.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not Pepe Le Pew. His name is Gian Basta and it's Italian. It's an Italian bakery. Yes.

[B]

Well, it's a problem.

[A]

It is.

[B]

That chocolate croissant you gave me is a real problem.

[A]

Telling you.

[B]

Buttery and flaky and perfect.

[A]

It's perfect, dude. Yeah, it's why I fell in love.

[B]

A little more chocolate in there.

[A]

I can, I can tell. Can tell them. I can tell.

[B]

A little more chocolate. Just a little. I don't be stingy with the chocolate.

[A]

I fell in love with that chocolate croissant when I lived in la and that, you know, that guy was in my neighborhood. Oh, that's how this all started.

[B]

That's a problem.

[A]

And I would walk down there and sometimes I would buy like two dozen, and then I would walk. I would walk back to my house and I would give away croissants to people walking down the street. I'd be like, you got to try these.

[B]

Just regular people.

[A]

Regular people. I didn't even know them. I just got these croissants.

[B]

What if they thought you were psycho?

[A]

I mean, I guess they didn't, but they. They would take them and I would. I mean, I didn't give them all away. I would, I would eat a lot of them too. But I stayed in touch with this guy and I would, every once in a while would go there and I would. I would get some of their pastries and I would do like an Instagram video, like, hey, I'm at this place. And I would just say it. And then I became friends with them and they go, hey, you know when you do that, they're like 100 people came today. I was like, oh, that's cool. It was just like a friend. There was no business related. I was doing it because I liked it. We always stayed in touch and I moved here and I go, when I'm in la, I'm gonna try to stop by and see you guys like that kind of thing. And we stayed in touch and I always be like, it would be awesome if you open one in Austin. That conversation continued. And then eventually we talked like, hey, what if we really did this? And that conversation started like over a year ago, and then our. Our fixed location will open in March, but we have a pop up right now.

[B]

I just don't know how you have the time for all this.

[A]

Well, I'm not. Here's the thing. I'm not. I'm not the one. Like, I don't bake right. You know, I'm. I'm the. I'm a business partner in this, and I. I market it in that. I promote it. But the. The easiest thing is to market something that's a. That's fantastic.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And I actually thought about the fact that I was like, for me, this is like. Like, people trust your opinion on. One of the reasons I think that Onnit was successful with you is that they're like, this guy knows workouts. He knows vitamins. He knows, like, they. You have credibility in that. You know what I mean? Like, having credibility in something is. Is really important for me. It's like, if there's one thing I completely trust myself on is if I'm like, this tastes good. I don't doubt it. I'm like, this is good. I know what. It's good. I've eaten at the best restaurants all over the world, and this is, like, my favorite. One of my favorite things has always been croissants and things like this. So when I had his and I knew they were amazing, it was like, there's no, Like, I'm selling it. I'm not, like, being like, ah, you should, you know, I'm not. I'm making up. This shit's amazing. So all I do is go, like, it's open. It's amazing. And we're selling. We've sold out every day.

[B]

That's incredible.

[A]

We've never not sold out.

[B]

Well, once you eat one of them, I get it.

[A]

Yeah, it's. And. And he's always coming up with, like, I. At first I was like, oh, we're opening a croissant place. But he's doing, like, you know, like, the homemade focaccia bread, Italian sandwiches. He does homemade pizza. It's all every day. And he's whatever. Like, inspires him. He makes that. It's all. He's amazing. So it's like, the easiest thing to be like, yeah, this is. This is my bakery food. Yeah, I love it.

[B]

Such a truck. I've thought about doing that with an Italian deli.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've talked to Giovanni very briefly.

[A]

The guy in New York Deli. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that place. Opening up one of those out here. How incredible would that be?

[A]

Incredible.

[B]

Those sandwiches I sent. Me and Joe Derosa. We send each other sandwiches.

[A]

Yeah, Joe has his sandwich place.

[B]

His sandwich place is great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Joey Roses is great. I sent him this place in. In Toronto. God, what is it called? Something crudo. Hold on a second. I. I'll find it. Oh, what happened to, oh, the iPhone made everything different. Different. Where'd you put it?

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Is that it search in the bottom. That's it crude. It's in Toronto. The sandwiches go to their Instagram. If you can go that where it says crudo pizza up there, that's their Instagram. Go down to their Instagram and find some of their sandwiches. Bro, look at these sandwiches. Oh, yeah, bro, look at these.

[A]

Yeah, bro.

[B]

With their homemade bread.

[A]

Look at.

[B]

These are insane. And the bread's got a nice little char on it. And they. The bread comes out piping hot from the oven and they make the sandwich on those piping hot bre bread. Yeah, show me one of them videos where they're pulling the sandwiches out and making them, because there's a few where you get to see how hot the bread is. Scroll down a little bit. Oh, no, stop, stop, stop, stop. Go up, go. No, no, back there. Oh, look at that, Tommy. Look at. No, no, you missed it. Watch this. When he cuts it open.

[A]

Oh, and this. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, look at that. Look at this. Oh, my God. Look how insane that is. This is my drug. Like, this is. If I have a problem with food, it's this. Yeah, it's Italian cold cut sandwiches and pasta. Yeah, those are the problems. I have a real problem with not eating that.

[A]

You know, he said olive oil on it.

[B]

Look how he seals it up. Look at this. Oh, look how it comes out of the oven, bro. Are you kidding me?

[A]

You know what my guy started making now? Like, he's just on a whim. He's like, I made a lasagna today.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

And then he's doing, like, different versions of it. Did one with, like, brisket in it. Like just crazy things. And they. It just goes.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah. It's called. By the way, it's called Chicho bomba, which is what you call.

[B]

Name of it.

[A]

Yeah, it's the name of the bakery. It's called Chicho bomba, which is what you call a little fat ass kid in Italy because bombas, like, explode. So, like, when it gets a little fat ass.

[B]

That's funny. It's called fat ass.

[A]

Yeah, it's called a little fat ass.

[B]

Little fat ass kid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's hilarious. Yeah, Great idea, dude.

[A]

Yeah, he's. He's. He's awesome. Him and Marlo.

[B]

It's hard staying thin, isn't it? Especially now you're in the 180s.

[A]

It's. It is.

[B]

You could let it go. You could let it go.

[A]

I could let it go.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Look at you. Look at you. He got excited about letting it go. I own a bakery yeah, Just not text your trainer back.

[A]

You, man, you. And when I stop by there too, you know, it's like I have access to all of this.

[B]

Yeah, you could eat free.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And then whatever you want, you can have them.

[B]

Make you things.

[A]

I give. I give, give most. I take a bite of things and I'm like, that's delicious. And then I stop myself. I'll let myself have a full thing. But not every day, dude. Not even. Not even every few days. Like once a week maybe.

[B]

When I used to come home from the store, two things were a problem. One of them was Jerry's Famous Deli. I would go, remember Jerry's Famous Deli? They're gone now. Isn't that amazing?

[A]

Jerry's Deli's gone.

[B]

Jerry's Deli's gone. There was one in Woodland Hills that's gone. That was the one I used to go to all the time. Time, I think. I think they're all gone now. I don't know if any of them still exist. Hopefully one still exists. Jerry Famous Deli was great. They had the best chicken noodle soup, man. It ruled. And they had pastrami Reuben. Oh, Pastrami Reuben with steak fries. They were so good. And if I was hungry coming home from the store, that would be the spot. The other spot that was a real problem was Krispy Kreme Donuts. I would drive by and I'd see that hot sign on.

[A]

Cheeseburgers too are a problem.

[B]

In and out's problem.

[A]

It's a problem.

[B]

That's a problem.

[A]

There was that one in West Hollywood that I used to love. I forget the name of that place. It was right near where I was working in post production. Burgers were unbelievable.

[B]

Another problem was Canters.

[A]

Yeah, Canters Deli.

[B]

I think that's place is still open.

[A]

That was a good.

[B]

Open 24 hours a day.

[A]

That was post show fun.

[B]

Always. Yeah, great post.

[A]

I told you this before because, you know, the power of delusion is. Is strong. Is that when I would tour with you, this is like, I would say like 2009, 10 Delta Terminal. Used to be Terminal 5 at LAX. Sometimes we would get back and we, when we, we would land because we would land the morning, right? We did the show the night before. They had a, like a little deli bakery, coffee place that had really good chocolate croissants.

[B]

Oh, I remember that place.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And sometimes we would. We'd be walking by and you'd get one. I was like, well, Joe got one, I should get one. Like he's in shape. I'm in shape. This isn't bad. Like, I just tell myself, like, you can eat this and because you would. How you love those. I remember those chocolate croissants rule.

[B]

That's why when you brought this one, I was like, oh, that. That's a problem.

[A]

It's a problem.

[B]

But they weren't as good as that.

[A]

No, no, the ones at LAX were pretty good.

[B]

They're okay.

[A]

This is like a. It's not. No, this is like a three day process. That's how long it takes for them to make a batch. Yeah, yeah. Like proofing the bread and it stays in this cabinet and they pull. I mean, it's a whole process. And. And it's. He has a. He makes like, sfolatella, which is like. It's okay.

[B]

He said it that way.

[A]

Oh, and bombalone, you know, like, just like incredible pastries, man, that, like, when you see them, you're just like, don't get fat, bro.

[B]

It's so easy to get fat. Getting fat's a giant problem.

[A]

The older you get, you're just like, this could be real easy.

[B]

Especially if you got obligations, you got things to do and you're.

[A]

You're tired, you're working. You need structure, dude. That's what I've learned.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

I need structure.

[B]

I need peace and quiet. So I like working out by myself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I don't. I mean, I like working out with comics. Sometimes we do those comic workouts here.

[A]

Those are.

[B]

Those are really fun. But for me, like, my time working out, when I'm like, suffering by myself, I need that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I need by myself. I don't want anybody talking to me about what they saw in the news and just asking me.

[A]

Quotes zone out.

[B]

What's J.D. vance like? No, no, no. Yeah. I'm here to get after it.

[A]

Yeah. I just. I. My problem.

[B]

Demons.

[A]

One of my problems is when I get. And I know this from Pat. Like, you just realize you have patterns. Is that when I get to, like, a good place and relax. Yeah. And I do it when people are like, you look good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I go, oh, I'm. I'm done. You know, that's. That's been my pattern.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So this time I've just been like, do not accept that thought.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah. You can't. There's no end.

[A]

There's no end.

[B]

Finish line.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Doesn't exist. Every day is a new, unique little battle with your inner.

[A]

It's really the truth. It is the truth.

[B]

That's what it is. Every day. You wake up, you go to war with your inner bitch. That's why it's good to beat it early. Beat that down early. Get in the cold water, freeze your dick off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get that workout in, get in the sauna afterwards.

[A]

And then you're like, I'm good today. Today. Today. But the food is the bigger challenge for me. Like, I won't say that. Like, workouts aren't hard. They're hard. And, like, I like it. I like the challenge. Staying on top of, like, how to eat is the bigger challenge.

[B]

Well, there's a problem, too, with all these new medical advancements, and one of them is there's a new peptide that they're showing is essentially like exercise in an injection.

[A]

Is that Sloop?

[B]

I don't know what it is. I read some article about it, like, quite a while ago, and I sent it to Brigham. I go, what is this? He's like, dude, there's so much stuff on the horizon, so much groundbreaking stuff. But you're basically going to be able to get the benefits of exercise in a peptide. So it'll trick your body to think you exercise.

[A]

I mean, Sloop does that. That.

[B]

Is that what it is?

[A]

That's one of the ones that does. It's in a pill form, right? I haven't heard about it.

[B]

Sloop.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Do you taking that?

[A]

I have taken it, yeah. I don't have any.

[B]

What did it do for you? You got some on you?

[A]

I'm the. Listen, I'm old. I'm like a crack addict. If you tell me something will be good, I'll be like, cool. I'll inject like, 40 things into myself. Yeah.

[B]

What does this Sloop do?

[A]

Well, they. They. They did. They tested it on mice and found that by giving it to mice, they decrease their. Their body fat and increased muscle lean mass.

[B]

Doing nothing.

[A]

Doing nothing.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so then they have started to. That's it right there. Sloop 332. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. In obese mouse models, sloop 332 reduced fat gain by up to tenfold and compared to controls, promoted 12 body weight loss and enhanced metabolic function without altering appetite or activity levels. Levels.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's exercise.

[A]

It's exercise, dude.

[B]

Exercise in a peptide. And you took it in a pill?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so what did it feel like when you took it?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Felt nothing.

[B]

I'm getting that tomorrow. Yeah, I'm on it. Let's go.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

What happened to your pecker? Did it get excited?

[A]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's what. That's what these goddamn things do. And you can just buy that stuff or is that a prescription thing?

[A]

I don't think it's a prescription. No, you can just buy it, but I think you just have to, like.

[B]

Go to a compound pharmacy or something.

[A]

That kind of place.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're trying to shut those places down, are they? They want to own all that stuff.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

There it is. Bam. Amazon all over Amazon. Good or not. I don't know. Just.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Check your own sources. One of the things that I've read about Amazon is that there's a lot of fake supplements on Amazon.

[A]

Are there?

[B]

Yeah. Because how does that work? How are they even getting up on Amazon?

[A]

I think they're.

[B]

Well, that's a whole different thing. But, like, they're just like copying the.

[A]

Labels and stuff, making it look like it.

[B]

I've heard that's a problem with pure encapsulations. So I started buying their stuff from their website. This episode is brought to you by Tommy John. I really love their underwear. They're very comfortable, and if you prefer classic colors or holiday prints, they have all kinds of different styles. And comfort never gets out of style with Tommy John. They have up to four times more stretch than competing brands. They're very breathable, these fabrics. They use to keep you cool and dry. No more chafing, adjusting or jingling. Just softness and support. Support right where you need it at. Tommy John. I can grab gifts for myself and others all in one place. Because it's not just men's underwear. They have women's products too, including pajama sets, hoodies, joggers, and more. And don't forget, your first purchase is backed by Tommy John's risk free guarantee. So in the rare instance that you don't love it, you get your money back. Look, with 30 million pairs sold, there are thousands of other guys wearing Tommy John right now. Now that are way more comfortable than you are. Don't settle for less. I wear Tommy John. They're great as gifts and you're gonna love it. Give the gift that lasts with Tommy john and get 25 off your first order right [e-mail] rogan with promo code Rogan. This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. Tis the season for identity theft. This time of year, most of us are checking off our holiday gift list. But guess what? Identity thieves have lists too. And your personal information might be on them.

[A]

Them.

[B]

Protect your identity with Lifelock. Lifelock monitors hundreds of millions of data points every second and alerts you to threats you could miss by yourself. Even if you keep an eye on your bank and credit card statements, if your identity is stolen, your own US based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all plans are backed by the million dollar protection package. And you know that person in your life who is impossible to shop for. Maybe it's a grandparent or your mom or a close friend. Well, here's an idea. Give them the gift of peace of mind and get them Lifelock. The last thing you or anyone wants to do this holiday season is face drained accounts, fraudulent loans or other financial losses from identity theft all alone. Make this season about joy, not identity theft. With Lifelock, save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use the promo code JRE or go to lifelock.com jre for 40 off terms apply. Because I read that. Because I read that like a high percentage was fraud.

[A]

I don't know if you've ever researched this, but apparently when I was in Abu Dhabi, they were like, they have what's considered some of like the cleanest vitamins. Like people go there just to get vitamins. Vitamins in the uae.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Like the like really high level vitamins for some reason. And I don't know what the thought is on that, but like a lot of people that travel in that region go to UAE to get their vitamins.

[B]

That's interesting.

[A]

I don't know if their standard is just higher.

[B]

Well, they have so much money.

[A]

They do have a lot.

[B]

And they also, you know, Sheikh Talk Noon is a Brazilian jiu jitsu black belt.

[A]

Like a legit bad.

[B]

Yeah. Enzo Gracie Blackwell. And he's the one that created this Abu Dhabi combat club that the championship.

[A]

He's also like incredibly fit. Like his cardio is. I was talking to someone.

[B]

No, he's a legit black belt. He's. He's a Henzo Gracie black belt was like, you know, there's levels of black belts out there where you, you heard about a guy got a black belt from this guy. I never heard of that guy. I don't know who that guy is, but I'm sure it was good. Yeah. And then you hear about someone got a black belt from Henzo. You're like, oh, like Guy Ritchie is a Henzo Gracie black belt.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Guy Ritchie is super legit, man. Yeah, I know guys have rolled with him. They're like, dude, he's legit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is. Think it's like a Jake Paul thing. Like you don't think all Jake Paul. You can't fight.

[A]

What's his name? Isn't the guy from Married With Children.

[B]

Ed o'? Neal, Legit Gracie black belt. Yeah. He got his black belt from Horan, or I think Horan, or at least that school you got it from. Gracie Torrance.

[A]

That was a surprise one to me. I was like, really?

[B]

Oh, he's legit, too. Yeah.

[A]

I had.

[B]

I sat next to him once on a plane, ran to randomly, and we spent the entire flight just talking about Jiu Jitsu.

[A]

Really?

[B]

He was so excited.

[A]

Oh, that's cool. There he is.

[B]

Yes. 2007. Yeah. Jorge and Gracie. I was right. Two decades of training under Horan. Gracie. That is another 42.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That's another very legit black belt. You get a black belt from Horian. Like, you have a real black belt. But he was. He's a big guy, man. He was a football player back in the day.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's awesome, man.

[B]

Yeah, he's legit. So we were just, like I said, we were just randomly on a plane. Plane, and. And we just started talking about Jiu Jitsu. We were both like little kids.

[A]

Really.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

Then I ran into him another time, randomly in Hawaii, in the ocean. I was in the ocean. I ran into him.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

I was like, hey, what are you doing, man?

[A]

He's great. I think he's a very nice guy.

[B]

Very nice guy, too. Easy guy to talk to, like, regular person. You know, there's certain actors. I feel like we have to get through this little wall of. Are you cool?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Is this okay to talk to you or.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Be mean, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's like a thing. And they think they get weird around comics, too, because they want to wind up in your act.

[A]

I got so lucky doing that movie over the summer in that I had, like, the best actors, like, as far as, like, just fun, awesome people.

[B]

Oh, that's nice.

[A]

You know, I mean, like, did you.

[B]

Know they were fun before you work with them?

[A]

No. And that's. And, you know, it was funny. Is that their regular act? Like, they go from, like, set to set to set.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And they kept telling me they were like, you know, this is, like, really special what's happening here. And I'd be like, what do you mean? They're like, this is awesome. Everyone's having the best time every day. Day. Everyone's hanging out. We're all going to dinner together. We're hanging out on weekends. Everyone likes each other. It Was like, the best experience.

[B]

I think actors sometimes are so competitive with each other.

[A]

Yeah, we didn't. None of that. People were just. And when. When you do have a cool vibe, like we had, everyone's just trying to make every scene better.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, and, like, you want the guy to be like, I want him to be super funny in this because it's going to be funny in the movie.

[B]

Well, it's like stereotypes get created because of the worst people in whatever category you're talking about. And if you're talking about actors, it's not all of them. Some of them are really cool.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Like Chris Pratt. I've hung out with that guy a bunch of times. He's really cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Easy to hang out with giant movie star. But, like, so normal.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I went elk hunting with that guy.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes. Super cool guy to everybody. Like, easy to talk to. We're eating dinner together, all hanging out with guys. Guys. So normal.

[A]

It's rare.

[B]

Just happens to be a famous actor.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So normal. But there's guys like that, that you meet him and you go, oh, okay. Like Woody Harrelson, the nicest guy.

[A]

Man. Woody seems awesome.

[B]

So easy to hang. You can't get a hold of him. He's got no phone. He's got no email.

[A]

You had. And I'm just a huge fan. But I saw a clip of. You had a Billy Bob Thorton.

[B]

Oh, he's the best dude.

[A]

I can watch that guy do anything.

[B]

The best to talk to, too. Like, so easy to talk to.

[A]

And the other one, I think you had him on, too. But I always see this guy in interviews, and it's always like, I end up sharing it with everybody. Is Ethan Hawke.

[B]

Ethan Hawke's great.

[A]

I mean, his wisdom and, like, his philosophy on art and on life. I'm like, this guy's like a messiah. He's just, like, so fascinating to listen to.

[B]

Well, he's a real artist. Really loves. Like, I asked him this question because I've always wanted to know, like, is this the same thing as, like, being in the zone and other things? Like. Like, what happens when you're doing a scene or why is it so believable? I know you're Ethan Hawke. I know that's Denzel Washington. I know that you guys are acting, but yet I'm in. Yeah, I'm in. Like, what is that? Yeah, he talked about that. It. That is. It is like what it is with standup. It's like a hypnosis. It's like they're hypnotizing they're so locked in, and they believe so much what they're saying that you believe it too.

[A]

Right? It's. It's. It's truth. It's that the. The scene reads as true. They're not making. You know, there's. There's. There's times when you're watching something and you're like, I don't buy that. And that's why you step out, right? Step out. Because you're like, that's not.

[B]

It's performative.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You realize that someone is performing rather than being, like, really locked into it, whatever it is.

[A]

Somebody said one time, and I totally agree. It's like, one of the reasons why we revere Denzel so much is like. Like, every time he's on screen, you believe every choice that he makes. Yes. You know, you're just like, I believe this.

[B]

Yeah. There's only a few people like that. You know, Claire Danes is definitely one of them.

[A]

She's fantastic.

[B]

So good, dude. I mean, I don't want to give away any parts of it, but there's this one part where she finds something out and her fucking whole face starts shaking. I was like, how are you even doing that?

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

She. She starts breathing heavy. Nothing freaks me out more than someone that finds out something crazy and doesn't have. Have, like, a physical reaction to it because anybody that's ever had anything crazy happen to him. Your heart starts racing.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You can't breathe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And some people just don't nail that. But she. She nailed it so hard. I felt like she really believed it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, And I believe. I'm like, oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. You start freaking out, too.

[B]

That scene was so good that I. As I was watching, I was like, damn, she's good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why I was thinking during the scene. I was like, damn, she's good.

[A]

Have to call me when you finish this.

[B]

I would.

[A]

Will. It's. It's. It's so good.

[B]

She ruled in Homeland too. She was great in that, too.

[A]

Yeah. She's really a tremendous actress.

[B]

Do you ever see the conversation she had? She had a conversation with what's his name, the vaccine dancer guy, Colbert. And, like, she was talking about the CIA being involved in all sorts of different things and see if you can find it. Because he, like, changes the subject, like, immediately.

[A]

Really? Yeah.

[B]

Because she's, like, saying wild shit about the CIA. Well, the CIA being involved in. I forget exactly the context of what you were saying something. Here it is. Spy camp. For us producers and writers and.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it like. Yeah.

[B]

So we park ourselves in a club in Georgetown and talk to, like, real spooks and, you know, people in the interview intelligence community and the State Department and journalists and people who really.

[A]

What do they tell you that, like.

[B]

What'S the most surprising thing that they've.

[A]

Told you about their jobs or something.

[B]

You would need to know? Well, every year it's different. Right.

[A]

We've been at it for a while.

[B]

And the climate has been. Has changed.

[A]

But this year it was all about.

[B]

You know, the distrust between the administration and the intelligence world. And. And the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually. Did you start shooting this. How long you start doing this show? Like, the intelligence community aligns itself with journalists to try to get rid of the president.

[A]

I had. I had one time. This is not the same thing, but I had a. I know somebody who was very high up, I'll just say in the intelligence community and is older now, and I have a relationship with them. And I. I was talk. Sometimes we would talk through. It was through, you know, my parents that. That knew these people. And I was. I would love to talk to this person because they were so. Not just well informed, intelligent, like fun to have a conversation with. And I was on the phone with them, and as I asked a question, they go, not on the phone. And I. And I. I kind of was like, repeating myself. I think I go, not on the phone. I was like, oh. Like, it just. It was one of those moments where I felt. I was like, oh, okay. I was like, yeah, I'll see you later.

[B]

Later.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

I got so scared.

[A]

Like, I felt like I violated.

[B]

I'm sure every phone call they make is being recorded. Yeah, yeah. Especially if you have inside information about something very important, you're supposed to stay secret about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you start blabbing, that's hanging out in Scottsdale doing blow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Talking about in Syria.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You wind up getting whacked by some crazy person that kills himself.

[A]

Car accident or something.

[B]

Yeah. Something happened. Happens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know about this MIT fusion guy that got assassinated? Supposedly, the same guy who assassinated the MIT fusion guy also went to Brown University and shot people at Brown and then killed himself.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. And a lot of people are like, what? This guy was working on groundbreaking energy. He was working on fusion at mit, and he was also talking about the poles, the earth's poles shifting, and that this is a natural process that happens that we have to do to keep Our magnetosphere that protects us from the rays of space.

[A]

What is our world, dude? What is happening?

[B]

There's a lot of people that get killed because they are inventing things that are going to disrupt industries. That's what I believe.

[A]

And this is why we scroll, take 6 hours on tick Tock. It's just like, I don't want to.

[B]

Yeah, you don't want to know. You don't want to. Certain things you don't want to know. And Kurt Metzger texts me. All of them. Really? Text me, all of them. Everything that I don't want to know, it shows up. I'm like. Or Dylan, Tim Dillon text me a lot. And I text it to them too, if I find something out. Because there's just so much nutty in the world where you're like, what is going on? Like, people getting whacked and. Oh, yeah, it can overwhelm you.

[A]

It can overwhelm you. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I know so many people that are, like, legitimately mentally ill because they dwell on that stuff all day long.

[A]

Which is why we need the escape.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you need something. And you also should limit your amount of time you're exposed to all that psychotic behavior because it starts shaping the way you view people. You know, if you. If you interact with people more on social media than you do in real life, it can really. Your head up.

[A]

So many people do that.

[B]

A lot of people.

[A]

A lot of people do that.

[B]

Yeah. Especially. That was one of the real problems during COVID too. So people were isolated and that was the only way they were interacting with each other.

[A]

The up thing is you realize how much those people end up, like, losing that connection with other, like, real people. They think that this is.

[B]

Yeah, they think this is real life.

[A]

This is the real world.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

They live in the comment section.

[B]

It's crazy. It's just such a. Like, it's like eating food that has no nutrients in it and your body's just freaking out. Like, where the. Are the vitamins? Yeah, there's no vitamins in it. It's just nonsense. And it's also. I was like, what percentage of it is even real people? It's not a hundred. There's a bunch of it. It's just like bad actors from other countries and people with flags in their bios and who knows what is going on on. And it's all just to try to shape narratives. We're involved in it. Russia's involved, China's involved. Corporations are involved. There's like entire companies that are based around Crowd campaigns about organizing attacks on individuals, organizing narrative control or organizing pushing a certain narrative. Entire businesses are built on that, where they try to shape things and make things go viral. Yeah, it's nuts.

[A]

There's. Oh my God, there's so much complete.

[B]

New part of our society that didn't exist before. And it shapes the way we view the world. And it's being purposely manipulated by people and it's legal because safeguards haven't put into place.

[A]

And also the amount of times that like people are talking to bots and like losing themselves. I don't mean like a scam, I mean like interacting. Just like with. You're interacting with a computer right now.

[B]

Yeah, all the time. I started getting these weird WhatsApp group texts of investors, people investing in things and how much money they're making. This is incredible. Sign me up. And like, like all these random fake people will be in the little.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Group chat talking about how, oh, I can't wait to get involved in this. You know, I'm. I'm gonna go all in on this. And then trying to get you to go, oh, I should go all.

[A]

I want to go all in too.

[B]

I should give you my bank account number.

[A]

Can I take her a bigger position?

[B]

Can I wire some money to you?

[A]

Fuck, man.

[B]

And so many dumbasses get sucked into things like that.

[A]

The best though, is when it happens to like, somebody will be like, I sent 80 grand of Brad Pitt. And you're like, what? They're like, Brad Pitt was like messaging me and it's just like some 60 year old lady. And she was like, it was, you know, it just felt so real. And it's like, it's, it's like a deep fake. He's like, hi, Amanda, how is, how are you today, my love? If you could just send me $30,000 to get out of this. And then she's like, and I did it. I feel like an idiot. And you're like, yeah, you thought Brad Pitt needed 30 grand. Well, here's the thing.

[B]

If you've got a scam, like, there's certain scams we allow, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, here's one televangelist. We allow that scam because if you're so dumb that you think Robert Tilden is. Got a, a red line. Direct line to Jesus. Yeah, you know, go ahead, write a check to me.

[A]

Yeah, he's gonna win. He bought like a G4.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, they all do. They all do. This is the one crazy guy that was pointing at the reporter with the.

[A]

Devil that's the one.

[B]

No, that's not Robert Tilde.

[A]

No, but that's the guy who.

[B]

Yeah, he bought that guy because she.

[A]

Was asking him about that.

[B]

Gave me such a deal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, he's just like, I had to take this plane.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

God, that guy looks crazy out. Yeah, he looks scary. But that scam, we allow, you know, we allow certain scams.

[A]

Yeah, we let that one.

[B]

Like, if you're so dumb that you buy into that. Like, that's not even illegal.

[A]

I do feel so, so bad, though, when it happens to the elderly. I feel so terrible for them.

[B]

It's terrible. That guy, this guy. Kenneth Copeland.

[A]

Yeah. This guy's.

[B]

What is. Look at them dirty fingers. Imagine that dirty finger in your.

[A]

Here's my plane, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

Dirty plane.

[B]

Wealthy televangelist defends using private aircraft in viral exchange. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Medea gave me his guy.

[B]

Do all of his work. You gotta do all that work. Preacher who wants 54 million dollar jet will donate old jet. What a good guy. What a sweet guy. Which. That guy, Jesse Duplantis. See, like those guys. We allow that. We allow that kind of.

[A]

Which is crazy. They should be in prison. They're scumbags.

[B]

Yeah. But they're getting people to voluntarily get.

[A]

The money, which is weird. Then there was the guy, the one.

[B]

I asked his congregation for 65 million to buy a jet.

[A]

There's. Do you remember the one that was like, locked the doors and that was a whole scandal. He's like, shut the doors. Lock the doors.

[B]

Oh, for what?

[A]

For donations. He's like, we are not. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's right. We're not leaving until you shut the doors.

[B]

Yeah. Who is that guy? Pastor locks church door demands $40,000.

[A]

Yeah. Ushers, close the door.

[B]

There's a hundred. There's a thousand of you. Close them doors. Ushers, close the doors. That is so crazy. That's so crazy. He said lock the doors.

[A]

People. Do it.

[B]

Well, there was a thing during the. What is it? Katrina or what was it? Down in Houston. So one of the floods with that dude, the. The famous one. Oh, yeah, the guy that has the big arena.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What's his name?

[A]

What is his name?

[B]

His name. Jamie.

[A]

You know, I'm talking about big eating grin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Black hair.

[B]

Joel Osteen Ohsteen. That guy. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He wouldn't let the homeless go.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He can't go. No, no, no.

[A]

Like, we need.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Places to put people. Not in here. Yeah, it's going to be gross.

[B]

People have lost their homes. No, no, no, no, you can't. On my floor.

[A]

No. Get out of here. The power of Christ.

[B]

I think he did eventually let everybody in under pressure.

[A]

Wow. I think eventually they shamed him into it. Yeah.

[B]

He realized like, oh, yeah, I got to. What would Jesus do?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jesus would just hire more people to clean up.

[A]

Jesus would get the all new global 7500.

[B]

Yeah. Jesus would get a new Rolls Royce.

[A]

Unreal.

[B]

Yeah, they all do it, though. That's what's funny. They all have super expensive suits and tax free.

[A]

Right. This is religion. Yeah.

[B]

That's the nuttiest part. That's the weird part about the scam, is that you're allowed to be tax free. Hey, that is weird.

[A]

It is weird. It's also weird when you think about what happens on the corporate level, that there's these corporations that make like hundreds of billions of dollars and they're like, yeah, they didn't pay tax on this because they're this corporation.

[B]

Right. Those are tax loopholes, though. Yeah.

[A]

Well, they'll funnel it to Ireland and. And then not pay tax on.

[B]

And you're like, well, supposedly that's what Jeffrey Epstein did for people.

[A]

Found those tax people with tax loopholes.

[B]

And, you know, they help rich people figure out how to save money.

[A]

I mean, it exists for a reason. Right?

[B]

Well, scumbags.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They've all put it in place.

[A]

You know, Powers the bego. I got you. You.

[B]

They just want to make sure that they keep the most amount of money possible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then there's that thing where, like, no one should be a billionaire. Well, okay, hang on. Do you like having a iPhone? Yeah, somebody had to make that. They're working 16 hours a day. They like. You don't want to be Tim Cook. I'm not saying. Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying? You don't want to be Steve Jobs. Guy died young because of it.

[A]

But I guess the argument that some people make against that is not that that guy shouldn't be wealthy, it's that when they have this overabundance of wealth and that the people that also work there, there don't have, like certain health coverage or something. You're like, really? Like, these Amazon warehouse guys are like, dying in the warehouse, are they? Well, I mean, they talk about these work conditions that are sometimes deplorable. Right. And then you have the people at the top with like, hundreds of billions of dollars. Like, you can't trickle any of that down to, like, some of your workers that. That always Seems like a legit complaint from people to me.

[B]

Oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, listen, if they didn't work, you would have nothing.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

That's what's weird.

[A]

This guy's doing, like, he's making, like, $15 an hour, but if he didn't.

[B]

Start the company, they wouldn't have a job.

[A]

True.

[B]

But, you know, a certain point in time sounds like spread it around a little bit. Yeah, spread around seems like better for everybody. If you spread it around, maybe people wouldn't hate as much. There's always gonna be people that, like, you should donate it all. I mean, that's like the. The beautiful utopia There is that one.

[A]

That did it too. Was it the Patagonia guy?

[B]

Did he.

[A]

I think it's the Patagonia guy that became a legit billionaire and donated almost every penny of it. I think it's him.

[B]

You know that song I love to change the world? I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do.

[A]

Is that right, Jamie? Was it him?

[B]

I might go type in pedigo.

[A]

I just first just typed in billionaire that gave. Donated everything, and another guy popped up.

[B]

There's probably a bunch.

[A]

It's one of those. It's one of the outdoor, you know, apparel people. It's an outdoor apparel billionaire who literally, I think, gave away, like, 98 of his Patagonia guy. Yeah, the dude, like, kept, like, where.

[B]

Did he give it to? Because somebody probably took his money. They're probably living on a yacht somewhere. That's the problem.

[A]

I think he gave it to, like, a lot of. Of land preservation type of things, you know, good stuff.

[B]

Yeah, Things that make sense. Okay.

[A]

I'm pretty sure.

[B]

Smart. If you're an outdoor company, you know, and that's what you love.

[A]

But it is like that almost unbelievable, you know, I mean, level of generosity that a guy won in capitalism and to that degree and was like.

[B]

He probably did mushrooms one day and was like, what am I doing? What am I doing? I'm living in. This is a prison.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm being imprisoned by all this mushroom money. Yeah, maybe.

[A]

Sam Walton was apparently, like, pretty down to earth too, you know, the Walmart guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Got started. Yeah. I mean, he drove his, like, old pickup truck even when was, like, really? I mean, he died a long time ago. His kids don't live like that.

[B]

I would have yelled at him if he had an old pickup truck. If I was Joey Diaz. The are you doing with this old pickup truck? You're balling now, cocksucker.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get a Cadillac at least.

[A]

Yeah. His, his, his. You know, children and grandchildren live a very different life, of course. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They're Nepo babies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's not good. That's a tough way to live. It is. When Forbes named Sam Walton America's richest man October 28, 1985, people were shocked to discover he lived a humble life in Bentonville, Arkansas, with a muddy bird dog running around the yard. He was America's richest man in 1985. They also surprised choice of vehicles. 1979 Ford F150. But as Sam said, why do I drive a pickup truck? What am I supposed to do? Haul my dogs around in a Rolls Royce?

[A]

Just wondered who he was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Also, it's different, I think when you. He made it to that level as like regular guy. A regular. He was already. And he was already like in his 40s or something. 50s. Like, it was just different for him. He wasn't, he wasn't handed anything.

[B]

Don't forget who you are. Are. Don't forget who you are.

[A]

Yeah, he didn't.

[B]

Well, some people do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is weird too, right?

[A]

It's weird.

[B]

Weird when people change, like radically.

[A]

So radically. Yeah, yeah. And. But also that level of wealth is like, not something that most people can even.

[B]

No, you can't comprehend. Billions. He was the richest man in the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he drove a pickup truck with a bunch of dogs. Like, what are you doing with your money?

[A]

I was watching that, that documentary about the murder in Monaco. Did you watch that? No.

[B]

What's that one?

[A]

That one was about a guy who was one of the 200 wealthiest people in the world. Saffron, I think is his last name. He was a banker and he lived an ostentatious life. I mean, like out of control, humongous villas. He had 25 security guards around him at all times and was like a target. And. And he was murdered in his penthouse in Monaco.

[B]

What was he doing that everybody wanted him dead?

[A]

He just had a lot of. In. Well, one of the things is that he, he invested or was like one of the people that got this Russian. I don't know if it was like Russian crypto, some type of currency or stock market in Russia that collapsed when the, When Russia devalued their, their currency by like 75% all of a sudden, one year. So, so billions of dollars disappeared from people. And so he became like a target of the Russians. But he also had connections to a lot of governments. You're. When you're a high level banker with banks everywhere you're, you know, you're deeply connected to some, like, not so great people. And so there was always, like, who did it? And then his wife, who it was, She's. I think she was. He was her fourth husband. Also had two other husbands die. One of them was like the richest guy in Brazil. He died. And then people suspected that this guy, Saffron's nurse may have killed him. And there was this. What the documentary was about. And they interviewed him. And like, the documentary is supposed. Like when the documentary nurse who. And he was convicted. He was convicted and he served like 10 years. And then he's in the documentary during the interview, right. Like, they keep interviewing him and other people. And then it's like the documentary ends. And then the documentary filmmaker is like, this was where the documentary was supposed to end. But this guy who we just did this documentary about this male nurse nurse, as we were in post production on this, got arrested for. He did like, some forged checks, I think maybe in Arizona and got locked up. And his cellmate was like, yeah, he tried to hire me to kill his ex wife. So then he got put on trial for soliciting to murder his ex wife. And then they go and interview him again. He's like, nah, it's all bullshit, man. I'm telling you this. Like, he's like, it's a. It's very strange. And it's. It's like. It's one of those things where you're like, you don't think it's the guy, and then you do think it's the guy.

[B]

What's it called?

[A]

I think it's called Murder in Monaco.

[B]

Monaco is a crazy place. Have you been there?

[A]

I've never been to Monaco.

[B]

I've been.

[A]

It's really wild, though. It's weird. Yeah.

[B]

There's so much money there. Everywhere you look is a Rolls Royce or a Ferrari. What is going on here?

[A]

Highest, like, amount of millionaires and billionaires in the. The geographic, like, square mile or whatever. Because it's so small actually.

[B]

Right. If you have residency there, I believe there's like, crazy tax benefits.

[A]

You don't pay taxes. You don't pay taxes. And guess what? When. When the husband died, the wife got her Monaco citizenship, like, that week, and then inherited the money. Didn't pay any tax.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

How hard is it to get a Monaco citizenship?

[A]

I bet it's somewhat challenging. Really? I think so. I don't know. Gotta meet the right people, I would assume. I mean, I know, like, for instance, you know where it's like impossible. And there's great benefits to it is uae, they don't give that shit to anybody.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah, you gotta be from there.

[B]

And that's the same kind of benefits, right?

[A]

Yes, Massive, massive benefits of being a. There is, there's even a thing if you're a UAE citizen. Like, if. If we have the same job. Job, and you're a non. Citizen and I am a citizen, I get double your salary.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Just from being from uae, Things like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Government will also pay for your housing, give you a car, pay for your education. Yeah. But they have a small. One of the reasons. They have extreme wealth, but they also don't have a high population of native citizens.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So they're able to do things like that also.

[B]

And they have insane oil money.

[A]

Insane. Especially not Abu Dhabi.

[B]

Well, that's when people talk about, like, the richest man in the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, okay, publicly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But those guys don't have to tell you how much money they have.

[A]

There's also a big difference between being extremely wealthy holding stock and extremely wealthy holding cash. Yeah, that's a real big difference.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, that's why it's wild what these guys are doing with like the Saudi Arabians are doing with boxing, because they're just going, what fight do you guys want to see?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, let me call that guy. Yeah, we'll give you a hundred million dollars. Like what?

[A]

Yeah. And then they're like, that ain't. That's fine. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That Saudi entertainment fund is.

[B]

It's bananas.

[A]

It's the government's fund.

[B]

What was it like doing that Riyadh festival?

[A]

Fantastic. Yeah, it was fantastic. I mean, the, the, the people there were amazing. Like, you know, there's always, like, you look at things on the news and you, you have your preconceived notion of, like, what things are.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But when you're on the ground somewhere and you're with people, you know, I was just meeting wonderful people. We went to the. They had the comedy club there. We went to the club. Like, not what we were brought there to do. Like, they had like, comedy pod, I think it's called. And it was just like. I mean, it was just Saudi. Com, like local people, and the crowd was just citizens, just like. And they were all just so warm and welcoming, and they were such huge admirers of art, of like, American comedy and American podcasts, and they were just super sweet. Like, they were so genuine.

[B]

And what is the restrictions in terms of, like, language and subject matter?

[A]

So everybody was highly, highly Highly well versed in not just English, but, like, American pop culture. So everything we talked about, they got everything. You know, they got everything. I mean, I went one the night before I went to see Jimmy Carr and Louis perform, and like, I was. I was like, holy. They get like, even, like the little throwaway lines, you know, like, the things that aren't even like the bit, like the little jokes. The only restriction that we were. That we had was about Islam and the royals. That was it. Which wasn't really a hard thing for most people to adhere to because, like, you know, like, me and those guys, like, we didn't have Islam or royal jokes. We weren't. We weren't cutting anything from our acts, right? So I was like, yeah. By the way, when we did uae, you know, like Dubai and Abu Dhabi, they were like, do not talk about Same. Same thing. Don't talk about our royals. Don't talk about Islam. Don't. Don't be like, super graphic about. But then we did do graphic stuff. And they're like, yeah, that's fine. They're like, just take it easy on the. On the royals and on Islam. But I was like, yeah, it's not. That's not a challenge, right, for me. But the. The country, like, as far as, like, the. The people that we met, they were all fantastic. They were really sweet people.

[B]

It's just people have a weirdness of like, you're going over there to. Because it's. The Saudi royal family has the money, right?

[A]

The. That's the. The Saudi family is the. The family that funds the entertainment fund, right? Then people were like, they would accuse me of whataboutism for saying that that's the same fund that. That paid for Ed Sheeran to come and Beyonce to come to do their shows. And, like, that's what I'm like. But how. That's just facts. Like, it's not what about ism. It's that. That's the money that funds entertainment, right? And then some people will go, well, you should do it. If the money came from, like, let's say a promoter. But you're like, yeah, but that doesn't exist yet. Do you know what I mean? Like, right, you. This is. This is the system that's in place now. Maybe in, like.

[B]

So who accused you of what abouts autism?

[A]

Just people would. Were so vocally upset that we went, yeah. And I was like. I mean, first of all, the way that I went was that I was doing Dubai. I was like, I was booked to do Dubai, which is in uae. It was already announced. And then three months later I got a call and they're like, hey, do you want to do Riyadh? It's like a 90 minute flight. I'm like, I'm in the Middle East. Yeah, I'll add a show, you know, like I'm there. It's like routed.

[B]

Did you know it was a festival?

[A]

I knew it was a festival and then they told me the lineup and the lineup was bananas, right? It was like Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle. I was like, oh. I was like, that sounds like a great lineup. I didn't think really like that I was doing something that would ups. I had no idea. I had no idea. And then we didn't think it would.

[B]

Be something that people would get offended by. I mean the people that are most offended with the comics that weren't invited.

[A]

Yeah, I know there's a lot of them that.

[B]

A lot of them, A lot of.

[A]

Them were super vocal. And I'm like, you can't sell a ticket in Houston. I don't know why you're upset about Riyadh. Like, no one's going to see you anyway, right? It was a bunch of like 50 year old feature acts that were upset. And then we went over there, had a great time. And I actually think that like one of the things that was overlooked is the fact that we were all saying they're like, oh, you, you had to adhere to. I was like, dude, I told you the two restrictions which I. We had didn't affect my act. And I do think it's a sign of their progress that they put on this festival and that we were saying all kinds of wild shit. Like the shit that we say on stage without talk. We didn't talk about Islam.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I mean that wasn't a crazy thing to me. Like, I think that that's showing because what's happening actually there is that right now the entertainment hub of the Middle East. East is Dubai. That is the entertainment hub of the Middle East. That's where people go. That's their Vegas. Big shows, spectacles, all types of shit. Saudi Arabia is like, no, we want to be the hub. And they have super deep pockets and so they're trying to be the. To compete with Dubai in entertainment. That's, that's what like the fuel of this is, right? And putting on this festival to me felt like that's, that's a path towards their goal of like entertainment can be here. And they put on a great festival, treated us fantastic. You know, people get, I Don't mind if people are. You can be mad. Be mad about whatever you want. I. I don't care. But as an experience, it was an amazing experience, and I do think that they'll continue to put on these festivals. It'll be very interesting to watch. Watch as this festival continues, who goes. Who gets invited and goes. Who was against it at the beginning, because, you know, it's going to be a few people, and I. I have some screenshots that I've said, so we'll see who maybe.

[B]

Perhaps. It's interesting. It's. It's interesting. The comics are held to a higher standard than singers or other people that perform over there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it is weird, though, you know, because it's like comedy uniquely challenges the idea of free speech. Speech.

[A]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, that makes sense.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But I mean, because it's not like.

[B]

If someone says, don't sing any songs, but it's Islam, you're like, well, I don't have any songs.

[A]

But I have to say that also, like, some of these comics who are saying this, like, oh, you know, you don't have free speech and you adhere to these restrictions. It's like, have you ever done a private. Have you ever done a university? I have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They had restrictions.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, they were like, don't talk about our mascot. Don't talk about this. Don't talk about that.

[B]

Yeah. Specifically, if you don't have that in your act already, then the question is, should you be working. Working for those people because of what happened with Jamal Khashoggi? That's. That's everyone's big argument. I think Dave had the best line about that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, Israel killed 240 journalists last month.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like, what are you talking about? I mean, in the last three months.

[A]

It's a fair point.

[B]

It is a fair point. Yeah. It's. It's just different. Right. Like, one guy was sought up in an embassy.

[A]

Yeah. In a way.

[B]

In suitcases. Not good.

[A]

It's an awful. It's horrific what happened. Yeah. But also, I mean, if you want to, like, go down that. That line of that.

[B]

That argument, then you shouldn't be working in America either.

[A]

I mean, that's. That's like. Are we saying that only their awful thing is worth fighting against?

[B]

Well, they're funding it. Right. As opposed to, like, if you work in America, it's not. The CIA doesn't fund a comedy show.

[A]

Sure, sure.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, there's a lot of there's a lot of ways to look at it. And if it, if it really upsets you, my, my position is good.

[B]

Well, the other thing.

[A]

Let it upset you.

[B]

Yeah, let it upset you. The other thing that like culturally it is a good thing to bring great comics over to Saudi Arabia.

[A]

I think so.

[B]

Good for people to hear what these, Jimmy Carr and you and Louie and Bill and all these comics have to say. And Dave, it's a good thing for the culture. Like it's a good thing for human. It's a good thing to open up society. And it seems like outside of, of this whole Jamal Khashoggi thing, which again is indefensible. Right? Yeah, outside of that, this is a more progressive organization. Like they are letting women drive now. They're like, slowly this is coming into a more modern facility.

[A]

It is progress. It is a sign of progress. Whether people accept that or not, it is a sign of progress there.

[B]

Yeah. It doesn't, doesn't help the people there if you never interact with them ever again because of something they're to going government did.

[A]

Exactly. And, and I have to tell you, if you saw the faces of these people that we were performing for and the, I mean when you could. Because sometimes they're like this. But they like how genuinely thankful and excited they were to be at these shows. It was awesome.

[B]

If you lived in Saudi Arabia, you never would imagine you'd see a lineup like that.

[A]

Oh my God. I mean some of the guys, they were telling us they were like, dude, like 10 years ago. They're like, nothing like this could have.

[B]

Ever, ever happened here.

[A]

So I don't know how you don't see that as some type of progress.

[B]

What's up, Jamie?

[A]

I just stumbled across something insane. What? This is on the justice websites.

[B]

Justice.comjustice Jamie scrolling through.

[A]

I don't know how you talk.

[B]

No, I just saw a tweet and clicked the link. Okay. What is this corner of the screen says Jay Epstein. Jeffrey Epstein killing himself.

[A]

What?

[B]

It's the date. So what is he doing here?

[A]

Don't know know. It's a 12 second video that someone.

[B]

Found on their website. Let me see that again. Put that up.

[A]

I just.

[B]

Can you pause it and make it larger? Yeah. So is he hanging himself there? Is that what this is?

[A]

Looks like he's leaving.

[B]

I'm not showing it on screen because I don't, you know, I don't even know. Right.

[A]

But I don't even know if that's like what is it? Looks like plain white hair.

[B]

I Don't know if it was, you know. Well, he definitely had white hair, but like. So the date is that. Is that him with a thing wrapped around his neck and he's trying to kill himself? Of. I don't.

[A]

That's.

[B]

I'm. So one thing that's important was he had a previous suicide attempt.

[A]

Supposedly when he was locked up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I mean, that's one of the reasons why he was under like 24 hour supervision. That's the case, right? Didn't he have a previous suicide attempt? I don't even know if someone found this. That's crazy.

[A]

That's on the government website.

[B]

But you imagine that they've had this footage the whole time. Time. Is that real? Yeah, but you know what I'm saying. It's like, who knows what's real? I watched a cruise ship hit a bridge and the bridge fell apart and everybody died. It's fake.

[A]

It's fake.

[B]

Oh, yeah. For like a half of a second though, I was like, oh yeah. Like, oh my God, I thought it happened today. Like, yeah, new tragedy. And then I'm like, wait, how much.

[A]

Better are they going to get at that too?

[B]

Oh, it's going to be impossible to tell. It's so much better than it just was. Just a couple of years ago, someone guessed the URL of the files that were uploaded to DOJ's website that were not announced and found the video.

[A]

Holy. Okay.

[B]

And then they corrected it, said it's 100 fake. Oh, but it's on that website still, which is.

[A]

It's on the justice department.

[B]

So I guess that means there's fake on the website. Oh, boy. This video is 100 fake. With the visual. Indeed released by the DOJ. It seems it's a collection of files collected by investigators and this fake video originated on 4chan. So even they're getting 4chan strikes again. Yeah, man. There's. There's. It's going to be impossible to know in the future. There's no way to tell.

[A]

There's no way. There's no way.

[B]

Real fucking weird.

[A]

Because already with the voice stuff is crazy. Like, oh yeah, I can listen to something like your voice and I'll be like. And then find out that it's fake. I didn't. I mean, I.

[B]

They can alter it to make you excited, make you little sad here.

[A]

And in like your case. In my case, there's just thousands of hours of us speaking, so it's even easier. Weird.

[B]

Oh, yeah. And that won't even matter in the future. It's like with the newer technology, they'll be able to manipulate it and it's going to get way better. Yeah, that's what's. I mean, what does that even mean?

[A]

What does it mean?

[B]

Tom Segura tell everybody once again, guys, please, some comedy special.

[A]

It's called Teacher. It's on Netflix. When does this come out? You're in the hint. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to play sounds.

[B]

This will be out tomorrow, so.

[A]

Oh, great. Yeah. So is this Crystal Tomorrow comes out Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve on Netflix. It's called Teacher. I'm very excited about it. I thank you so much for watching it over this holiday break.

[B]

I'm release.

[A]

I toured for two years to get ready for this one. I'm very happy with it. So I hope you. Hope you enjoy it.

[B]

Well, if it's any of the stuff that I've been watching, it's gonna be awesome.

[A]

Thanks, brother.

[B]

Killing it.

[A]

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.

[B]

Beautiful to see.

[A]

I'm excited.

[B]

I'm happy. All right, that's it. Bye, everybody. Merry Christmas.

[A]

Merry Christmas.