#2446 - Greg Fitzsimmons

Summary

The Joe Rogan Experience #2446 – Greg Fitzsimmons

Date: January 31, 2026
Host: Joe Rogan
Guest: Greg Fitzsimmons
Producer: Jamie

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Overview

This episode features comedian Greg Fitzsimmons returning to The Joe Rogan Experience for an in-depth conversation themed around media manipulation, free speech, the state of comedy, conspiracy theories, and bizarre life stories. True to form, Joe and Greg are joined by Jamie for fact-checks and contributions, and the tone oscillates between critical analysis, irreverent comedy, nostalgia, and moments of genuine awe or outrage at the world.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Digital Age: News, Social Media & Censorship

• Both lament the addictive doom-scrolling habit and how social media exposes us to the world's chaos far beyond our brains' evolutionary design ("We're only supposed to be exposed to like 200 people in our life" – Greg Fitzsimmons, 00:57).
• Discussion of Dunbar’s number and the psychological burden of seeing global strife every day.
• Stories about censorship and squatting laws in the UK; the concept of whistleblowers and why anonymity online is vital; referencing the Steven Donziger case as an example of punishing whistleblowers (07:28–08:44).
• The duo critiques big tech's opaque rules about content moderation (e.g., TikTok allegedly limiting words like "Epstein"), and the broader implications for free speech, especially around sensitive topics (03:18–04:56).
• Rogan pushes the idea that hate speech should be countered with more speech and reason, not censorship:

  "You don't counter hate speech with censorship. You counter it with better speech." (07:03)

2. Media Bias & Institutional Trust

• Conversation on how traditional broadcast media also selectively reports and censors information, not just new tech companies.
• Examples of news report manipulation, such as photo alteration (MSNBC's airbrushing of a shooting suspect, 22:06–23:08).
• Fitzsimmons voices concern about journalists’ constrained access to places like the Pentagon, only being allowed to publish government-approved stories (10:29–10:51).

3. Crime, Corruption, and the Human Condition

• Reflections on the cyclical nature of crime and systemic corruption:

  "Back in the days of Serpico...it was literally like the entire force was in on it." (14:10)

• Nostalgic (and darkly comedic) looks at Las Vegas's mob roots, including using atomic bomb tests as tourist attractions—"bomb parties" (15:44–16:35).
• Morbid local lore: bodies turning up in Lake Mead (18:22–19:07), stories of mob dumping grounds, and attempts to recover evidence from city parks being stymied by officialdom.

4. Jewish Identity, History, and Family

• Greg shares anecdotes about comedian Ari Shaffir's family, acceptance within Jewish families, and an emotional detour on Holocaust survival:

  "Ari's dad survived the Holocaust. Ari's dad has a tattoo." (24:12–24:20)

• Discussion on the openness of Jewish communities and resilience.

5. German History, Porn, and Psychological Theories

• Wild riffs on why German society, so buttoned-up, produced some of the strangest adult content, per their own observations from pre-Internet and early Internet days (25:54–27:04).

6. Dogs, Cleanliness, and Human Quirks

• Tangents about hotel cleanliness, dog behaviors, and how dogs interpret and react to human emotions through scent.
• Anecdotes about obsessive hygiene and the reality that “there’s fecal matter all over your cell phone” (28:05).

7. The Strange History of Palm Beach & Exclusion

• Greg recounts stories about the racially exclusionary roots of Palm Beach, possibly involving the forced removal and burning of African American laborers’ homes (33:01–41:05).
• Touches on anti-Semitism and club policies barring Jews, even as recently as the 2000s (34:46–36:04).

8. Conspiracies, Space, and the Moon Landing

• A massive deep-dive into moon landing skepticism:

  "If there's one conspiracy that I think is the most unlikely, the most preposterous in the public eyes, but might be true, it's that we didn't go to the moon." (69:03)

• Dissection of the evidence for and against, including Apollo footage oddities, the Van Allen belt, and the story of the Netherlands' fake moon rock (61:38–65:07).
• Quoting Neil Armstrong’s "cryptic" anniversary speech and the possible layers of truth it alludes to (66:02–67:42).

9. Comedy Culture: Now, Then, and What’s Next

• Warm, unvarnished nostalgia for Boston’s '80s and '90s comedy scene, open mics (e.g., Stitches' "Comedy Hell"), and the importance of developing local talent (124:00–128:45).
• Discussion of current scene:
  • Rise of influencer comics and the dilution of artistic standards (112:22).
  • The Mothership’s (Joe’s club) unique pay structure and commitment to nurturing new acts.
  • Festival culture: Skank Fest compared to the old Montreal Comedy Festival.
• The recurring problem of authenticity in comedy:

  "I like comics that don’t have a plan B....Go make some room for the freaks, will ya?" (112:20)

10. AI, Deepfakes & Information Manipulation

• Recent leaps in AI-generated images and video; concerns over deepfakes and AI voice reproduction, especially when used for manipulation or fraud.
• Sarah Silverman’s lawsuit against OpenAI for voice mimicry and copyright (94:05–95:29).
• Fitzsimmons:

  "Imagine in three years what it’s gonna be like [in elections]." (97:10)

11. Psychedelics, Mental Health, and Tech Therapy Risks

• Psilocybin normalization, clinical ketamine therapy, and the dangers/benefits of AI therapy bots.
• Cautionary tales about GPT-fueled suicide and the weaponization of data:

  "There’s people now that are using ChatGPT to do therapy. Meanwhile, you want to put your... Might tell you to kill yourself like that." (155:29–155:33)

12. Legendary Anecdotes: Greg's Alaska Fentanyl Prank (78:03–85:19)

Timestamps: 78:03–85:19
A classic comic’s story: Greg, on an Alaskan gig, is pranked by a local guide and a police officer into thinking he’s being busted for fentanyl. After convincing acting, the duo revealed it was all a setup to attend his show, and the resulting camaraderie spirals into onstage heckling and appletini-soaked adventures.

"I had tears coming out. I was laughing so fu— I was like, I did not think Alaska had it in it to pull this shit." (82:23)

13. Comedy Festival Stories, Podcasting, and Skank Fest

• The changing landscape of festivals, with Skank Fest described as a new sort of “get-canceled-to-get-famous” proving ground, full of freewheeling energy and wild audience/comic antics (132:28–134:12).
• Nods to legendary and new podcasts, the legacy of open mics, and tales of their Boston roots.

14. Pop Culture & Iconic Figures

• Stories about Andy Kaufman (and Bob Zmuda prank), Jim Carrey, Mel Brooks, and method acting’s psychological cost.
• The myth that Alex Jones is Bill Hicks as a foray into conspiracy culture.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You don’t counter hate speech with censorship. You counter it with better speech.” – Joe Rogan (07:03)
• "The world's on fire." – Greg Gutfeld (00:25)
• "All those dudes in like the ancient times that had the big wigs — that was to cover up the hair loss from syphilis, dude...That's why rich people are big wigs." – Joe Rogan (41:51)
• “If there's one conspiracy...that's the most unlikely...but might be true, it's that we didn't go to the moon.” – Joe Rogan (69:03)
• "I like comics that don't have a plan B. These are people that...have no other options." – Greg Fitzsimmons (112:20)
• [On Skank Fest] "Now it’s about, how do I get canceled? That’s how you get famous. And this is a festival that is trying to help you get canceled." – Greg Fitzsimmons (132:28)
• "Imagine in three years what it’s gonna be like [with AI and deepfakes in elections]." – Joe Rogan (97:10)
• [On dogs] "They say that a dog can smell a cheeseburger. They don't just smell the cheeseburger. They smell every individual ingredient." – Joe Rogan (29:51)
• “I don't want people that...I don't even want high school graduates at my shows.” – Greg Fitzsimmons (121:39)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• Social Media, Doomscrolling, and Brain Overload: 00:29–01:14
• Squatting Law in England Story: 01:21–02:35
• Censorship & "Epstein" on Social/DMs: 03:18–05:03
• Steven Donziger & Whistleblowers Effect: 07:28–08:44
• Alaska Fentanyl Prank Story: 78:03–85:19
• Moon Landing Skepticism: 57:01–70:28
• Legend of Palm Beach Racial Cleansing: 33:01–41:05
• MSNBC AI-Editing Photo Example: 22:06–23:08
• Discussion: Developing Comics, Open Mics, and Clubs: 108:26–115:14
• AI & Deepfakes' Impact on Media and Society: 94:05–99:10
• Skank Fest, Comedy Fest Evolution: 132:28–134:12

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Final Thoughts

The episode combines sharp-eyed skepticism on media, history, and authority with the camaraderie, wild stories, and laughs you'd expect from two veteran comics. Expect a rotating mix of informed commentary, unpredictably funny or sobering anecdotes, and Joe's hallmark deep-dives into the "weird" – all delivered with affection, candor, and irreverence.

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For more:

• Greg Fitzsimmons tour dates: gregfitzsimmons.com
• His Podcasts: 'Sunday Papers' and 'Fitzdog Radio'

End remarks:
"You're at the Mothership this weekend. I'm very excited about that." (158:54)

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This summary omits sponsorships, intros, and other non-content sections for clarity and focus.

Transcript

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, alpha brain.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes, take some alpha brain. So I'm gonna be sharp.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I got this stuff too, if you want it. It's an energy drink that also has nootropics in it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Good stuff.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Gregory.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Joseph.

[Greg Gutfeld]

See you, my friend.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

See you, man.

[Greg Gutfeld]

World's on fire.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

World is on fire.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Good time for you to come in.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, I literally, I mean, talked about being addicted to your scroll. I gotta really put the fucking phone down sometimes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I know. Yeah, it's not good. No, it's not good for your brain to see all the problems of the world all piling and everything. Looks like it's about to blow up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Iran looks like it's about to blow up. They're talking about going into Cuba. Don Lemon went to jail. It's like, it's all crazy. It's like, what's next?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, you know when jail gives you lemons. And it's also like, what's that whole theory about we're only supposed to be exposed to like 200 people in our life?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Dunbar's number.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Well, you only can keep that many people in your head, but you should.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Only know about that many divorces and that much cheating and that much killing. And as would happen within two crime.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And fill in the blank. Fraud, waste, abuse, international politics, restrictions on speech in England, like, yeah, this is fucking crazy story. This guy in England, an illegal alien was a squatter in his house. The court ruled that because he didn't live in the house, the guy didn't live in the house. It was an empty house. They gave him the house. They gave the squatter the house. The squatter sold it for 540 grand. Squad sold his house, took his house because he was living. And this guy was like a pensioner. He was just a guy who had like an extra house. Like a fucking investment property.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You're right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And this guy moved into it. Have you seen it, Jamie?

[Jamie]

I'm seeing something from a year ago.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't know. Somebody sent it to me today.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They had that in New York back in the 70s and 80s. There was a lot of empty units, like down on the Lower east side, like Tompkins Square park area. There was a lot of squatting.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, this is it. Squatter moved in the P's empty home, then won the legal right to keep it and sold the house for 500, I guess. 540. Is that euros or pounds? Is that pounds? What's that?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, England has pounds.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's fucking crazy. That's so crazy. England has lost its fucking mind. It's almost like they want people to either revolt or completely submit. It's one or the other. It's like you're either begging for a revolution or you're begging for people to completely submit. They've arrested 12,000 people this year for social media posts.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, that's right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And most of it is criticizing immigration. Just criticizing immigration. Just saying immigration sucks. We should send these people back home. Cops show up at your door.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right, right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, TikTok is now not allowing people to post anything that is anti ice.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Not just that you can't post the juice box emoji.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

What's that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Cuz it's code for Jews because people were using it because they were blocking content where they were criticizing Israel.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wait, why is it juice box Jews?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, juice. Juice box juice.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It is funny, but did they block the use. This is. Somebody sent me this. I haven't verified this. Did they block the use of the word Epstein?

[Jamie]

So I mean, I saw, I don't. I'm not on the app, but I saw a video of someone like trying, you know.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, let's run that through Perplexity and ask if it's. See if perplexity will rat out Tik Tok.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right. Because that's.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's so crazy that they would do it because they just purchased it. Right. So it was just purchased by some. What. What is the group? Is it. Did Larry Ellison's group purchase it?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay. Which is tremendous supporter of Netanyahu in Israel.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So yeah, yeah, there you go. So you got censored news now. So any criticism of Palestine, what's going on in Gaza, all that stuff's going to get squashed probably. TikTok says does not have a rule that bans or blocks the word epstein across the app. But many US users have recently been unable to send that word in direct messages. I have a friend, his name is Bobby Epstein. Totally unrelated, he's the guy who owns the Cota racetrack. He's a good friend of mine. I can't send a message saying, I was just talking to my friend Bobby Epstein.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, no shit, that's crazy.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow, Epstein is a super common name.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that's.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's a super. It's like Jones.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It was on welcome Back Cotter.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Right, Epstein from Welcome Back. That's right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You can't talk about him anymore.

[Greg Gutfeld]

My brother on news radio.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes, him. Nick DePaulo and Brian Callan played my brothers and we all just beat the out of each other the entire episode. It was hilarious. Yeah. Nick threw me through a plate glass window. And then the brother shows up. Epstein was a priest and he showed up with a bat. We were all scared of our older brother. It was really funny.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He, he was the Jew, the Puerto Rican Jew from Brooklyn.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He was great. He's a really nice guy too. So what else does it say here? Newsom to probe claims of Trump critical censorship on TikTok. I think they're fucking blocking a lot of things on certain social media platforms.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, what is that? I mean, what's your big picture take on whether or not social media platforms which are privately owned by have responsibility that say regular broadcast networks would have in terms of not censoring things?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, regular broadcast. Problem is they censor things.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They don't just report on the news, they report on what they decide they're going to report on. Like it's a CNN hourly news segment. They have no responsibility to tell you about any particular story. None. Zero.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So they'll wait till something becomes like unmanageable before they'll start talking about it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So something like starts getting traction on social media like some sort of a corruption scandal. If it's a left wing scandal, they can ignore it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And they have no obligation to. It's not like we have to tell you about these very credit. It's not like, you know, we ran it through AI. There's 20 things that the American public has to know about. So they censor or at least they curate the content. I think for social media platforms, if Elon Musk didn't buy Twitter, we would be fucked because there would be no place where you could say whatever you want, even heinous things. Right? Yeah. But if someone says heinous things, you can block them and not interact with them and you can let other people tear them down and tear them apart. And that's how it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be you don't counter hate speech with censorship. You counter it with better speech.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And you appeal to rational people and, and insensible people that go, this is why this guy is wrong. This is why racism is wrong. This is why rash generalizations are wrong. This is why it's wrong.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And that's how you're supposed to do it. It's supposed to be a free speech town hall platform. It's supposed to Be like the town square where everybody can get together and talk about ideas. And that's how it should be.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And there's been a lot of calls that say that you shouldn't be able to be anonymous on social media, that you should have consequences for your actions. The problem with that is then you lose all your whistleblowers. Right. All the whistleblowers that are talking about giant corporations are doing horrible things to the environment secretly in other countries, which we find out about all the time. Like the Steven Dauzinger case where that guy got arrested but he was prosecuted. Was it Exxon? The Dauzinger case. But it's like whistleblowers are important.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, and if you don't have whistleblowers, you don't find out what, like, if Edward Snowden doesn't come out? We know so little about the nsa. We know so little about government spying. And yeah, he's an American former attorney known for his legal battle. Oh, Chevron, particularly with. So he was arrested and he went to jail, man. For criminal contempt.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, that's First Amendment, isn't it?

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, I don't know exactly the details of the case. He spent 45 days in prison and a combined total of 993 days under house arrest.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Not only do they go to jail, it depletes all your savings. If they decide to prosecute you, your life is ruined.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's part of the point of it all. It's to also discourage other people from doing the same thing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So if you're an attorney and you're thinking of prosecuting, you know, Shell, you're not gonna do that now, you know, fuck this. You know I have a house, right? Trying to buy a Porsche and then you back out of it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

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[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You know, I mean, yeah, it's a weird thing because like I know like right now to cover the Pentagon, no journalists can go into the Pentagon unless they sign an agreement to only put out government sponsored press releases.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Government approved or government approved.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So now you've got very few people inside the Pentagon, which is where the whistleblowing was happening. They in the back halls of the Pentagon.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's crazy. But then see the problem with the Pentagon is you're talking about national security. And if someone released something like the name of an agent that was undercover somewhere and something happened, that person got killed or compromised or some sort of a national security interest, you know, was the, the whole thing was tanked. Yeah, that's a, the, the Pentagon's different. I mean I'm not saying that they, the press shouldn't have access to Pentagon officials. They certainly should. But it's like going there is kind of different. Right. It's like the FBI just arrested, they just had a giant sweep on gangs in this country today. Yeah, they just released that. They found like I think it was 10 kilos of drugs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They arrested like cartel gangs.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Cartels in, in America.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And so they made a giant arrest today. I think they arrested 200. See if you can find what that story is. But like imagine if you were in the FBI office and you heard about an imminent attack and you printed something like if you're a reporter and you're covering this stuff and you have access to this information somehow and it gets released and these guys find out about it and they, they skate. They nabbed Latin 50 Latin Kings in Operation Broken Crown after three months sweep. So what is the details of it? Okay, last three months the FBI is quietly executed. Okay, this is on X. Quietly executed. Operation Broken Crown. A sweeping violent gang takedown involving 13 field offices targeting the Latin Kings gangs members which were publicly threatening law enforcement officers. 50 arrests. 2. $200,000 in seized assets, seizure of 10 kilos of illicit narcotics. Interesting, interesting. Well, so like that kind of a situation, you can't have access to that Information before they do it. That has to be very tight lipped, you know, but there's only a few of those kind of scenarios that I can imagine. But when it comes to like politicians and backdoor deals, like there should be live footage of it. It should be.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, you only found out about the bomb, the illegal bombings in Cambodia because there was a whistleblower inside of the Pentagon.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Exactly, exactly.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So it does. You do need some access.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, but it's like. Well, you need whistleblowers.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right, right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But it's like how many people there's. Here's the thing about like intelligence agencies and there's a lot of good people that are working there. There. It's like we judge them based on the evil people that are probably the ones with the most power, you know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

There's probably a lot of like mid level people working at the Pentagon, working at the sea, working everywhere that are good people.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, are you kidding me? These are people that have dedicated their lives to trying to, you know, I believe same way with cops. I think, you know, I got three good buddies that are cops and they are absolutely went into it the same the way a social worker goes into it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then there's evil ones that, you know, I think it was worse. I think back like, you know, back in the days of like Serpico. You ever seen that movie? Like it was literally like the entire force was in on it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You know, there was fucking legal gambling, legal drug dealing, nobody got touched.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yep, yep. Yeah, they've always done that. I mean that's how they ran the mob in Vegas. Yeah, the mob ran Vegas with the cops.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh yeah. We were just talking about that outside. Like why was Vegas and Atlantic City the only places allowed? I don't know why I stupidly asked that. Jamie's like, cause of the mob, asshole.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Fucking duh. Well, it was the mob and I think Nevada there was also. See if this is true. There was supposedly a connection between the testing of nuclear weapons and then allowing the city or the state rather, to have gambling because Nevada was one of the rare places where they like routinely tested nuclear weapons.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't know if you've ever seen the video that shows a history of all the atomic bombs going off in the United States. The video is crazy because it starts with the first test, starts with the trinity test starts. They do the couple in the ocean. What's the matter? What's so funny?

[Jamie]

Just the way this is worded.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What is it?

[Jamie]

I asked if there is a connection between nuclear tests and gambling in Las Vegas. And turns out, yeah, they would use it as a theme to attract gamblers. What?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Come see a bomb.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

From the early 1950s to the 1960s, Las Vegas casinos and tourism promoters actively used nearby nuclear weapons tests as themed attractions to draw gamblers and visitors. Holy shit, man. Bomb parties.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's like how.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, my God. They had bomb parties on the rooftop. They would watch. They'd stay up gambling, drinking, and then stepped outside to watch the blast on the horizon.

[Jamie]

Wow, my cocktail.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, my God, dude.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's like how Caesar's does fireworks now.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They had atomic themed promotions. Atomic cocktails, atomic hairdos, Nuclear pin up imagery like Miss Atomic blast slogans like Atomic City, usa And up in Adam to tie the test directly to Vegas nightlife and gambling culture.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Holy shit, man. I wonder if you could place bets. Dude, I bet your eyebrows singed you off.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't know if they had the same thing like what they have now with modern prediction betting. Prediction betting? You can bet on pretty much everything.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I just made a bet last night.

[Greg Gutfeld]

On Go back down to where you were. Stop. Go with the bottom line. In short, nuclear weapons tests near Las Vegas were not just a backdrop. They were deliberately woven into casino marketing, party culture, and tour that supported the city's gambling economy. But did it have the reason? Like, here's my question. Was, was Nevada allowed to have gambling because of them allowing nuclear tests? Like, was there any sort of an agreement? Because there's only two states at that time that allowed casinos, like real casinos.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

And it seems kind of weird that one, one of them, you know, New Jersey's always been fucking corrupt. That's the Sopranos. Like the most mob ridden fucking state in the country at the time.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Based in Atlantic City, pretty much.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean, cut the fucking shit.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, Atlantic City and then Vegas was Bugsy Siegel. Right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay, well, since Nevada legalized most forms of gambling in 31. Okay, so it doesn't make any sense because it's before that. So it's the Great Depression economic measure attractors. So no. So that theory doesn't hold up. I didn't know that Vegas was started in 31. That's nuts.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So basically, the Great Depression started, and then they launched Vegas as a way to raise money, which is for Nevada.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You have no money, there's no jobs. Why don't you gamble? What?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

My gamble is going to the food line, seeing if I get a loaf of bread. That's my gamble today.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know what's crazy is that lake keeps drying up because they were having a drought. They keep finding bodies in the lake.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, no.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like. Like those metal barrels with, like, bodies inside of them. They've. They found quite a few of them. How many bodies have they found? Is it lake me, I believe. Yeah. As it's drying up, it's at like, it was. I think it's probably picked up a little bit, but at one point in time was at a historic low.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And so they were finding these dead bodies. I think they found like, a half a dozen of them, and I think they think there's a whole lot more in there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No shit.

[Greg Gutfeld]

As of last latest reporting, at least six separate discoveries of human remains. Yeah. Were made in Lake Mead in 2022 as the water level dropped, representing at least several different individuals.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Find out that thing where they stopped searching for guns and bodies. I think it was in MacArthur Park. And why they did that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

David Tell, back in his insomniac days, used to hang. He hung out with some dark motherfuckers in New York, and he used to bring this guy in who was. He was a New York City cop. And they basically said, we'll double your pay and give you early retirement if you put on a frog suit every night and you go out into. I think it was Flushing Bay, one of the bays out in Queens, which was a famous place where the mob was dropping bodies. And the guy would go into the water in a frog suit and he'd wait by this bridge and. And when they drop a body, he'd fucking call it in. And he did that the night shift and he'd finish that. And he'd come into the Comedy cellar at like 4am so he went to a scuba suit in a bed and.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He'D drop a body.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Holy shit.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They were dropping that many bodies that you can just wait for. That's so crazy. Searcher MacArthur park for guns and possible bodies was stopped because authorities said it was an unpermitted and potentially unsafe operation on city park property. Okay, so it was a businessman. So it was a private thing. So that's probably what it was. So officials official reasons given. Organizers led by businessman John. I don't know how spells A L L E. How do you say that? Ale all a plan to use sonar and remotely operated vehicles to look for weapons and human remains in the lake. Los Angeles park rangers halted the effort before the sonar entered the water, saying the team did not have the required permits or clearances. Okay, why didn't you guys do that, though? If you really think. If this guy really thinks that there could be bodies and guns in the lake. Why wouldn't you guys search for bodies and guns if someone could search for it?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It seems like there's probably a lot of people missing, a lot of crimes that could be solved, a lot of resources that have already been spent on cases. You could probably get to the bottom of a lot of things. I don't know how to say his name. Said families of missing people, some of whom were last seen near MacArthur park, had reached out to him for help, which inspired the idea of a large scale sonar search of the lake there. There's evidence down there for crimes, he said. We'll identify it with photography and the city will have to extract also could be.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

These are homeless people and the government doesn't give a shit. Yeah, they can't. Yeah, come on, they were kids once. It's hard to swim when you're on meth.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You get bad cardio. You know, if one guy says, this is the last day I do math today, I get in shape. He tries to swim across the lake and strokes out in the middle of it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

This is my day.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Never gave him, oh, geez, I'm in there. What are they saying about me?

[Jamie]

It's an ad.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, it's an ad.

[Jamie]

That's basically. That's an ad down at the bottom.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, I mocked the AI generated. That was. That was crazy. The AI generated photo that MSNB put, MSNBC put up of the guy who got shot in Minneapolis. They changed his appearance.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Alex Preddy. Yes, they changed his appearance. And handsome. Oh, they did.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You haven't seen it now to see it. Yeah, it's there. I don't know who's doing this now. It's almost like. Like someone from the Republican side is like a secret plant at MSNBC because they know that stuff like this is gonna get caught. Look at the difference between the one on the left and one on the right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, the nose looks blurry on the one on the left.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, that's his nose. That's what he looks like. It's just a shitty picture. But they cleaned the picture up. They made his nose smaller, they gave him a tan, they made his forehead shorter, they made his jaw wider, they made his shoulders thicker. Yeah, they gave him more bicep. They made him more handsome, they made his neck thicker. He looks better.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep.

[Greg Gutfeld]

The guy on the right looks like a good looking guy. The guy on the left looks, you know, like Ari's unfortunate brother, doesn't he?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Poor Ari's brother. I mean, it's so funny that Ari comes from this family. I mean, he grew up Orthodox Jewish, right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, yeah. And.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And the things that he has put out there for a family to have to see, it makes you realize. And they love him. Like, they accept it. And it's all about grace. And I love Jews because, like, they are very accepting. You know, as much as you might be Orthodox, I find my wife is half Jewish. And there's something very open minded about Jews. I mean, they were the original hippies and they were the original communists in America. And they were always open to different ideas. And I think when I think about Ari's family, if they were Christian conservative versus Jewish conservative, I don't know that they'd be as accepting of him.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, Ari's dad survived the holocaust.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No shit.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, yeah. Ari's dad has a tattoo.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Damn.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, he's very old.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Whoa.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He must be one of the oldest people left with a tattoo. I mean.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. He talked to me about having his dad on. He asked me if I'd be interested in it if his dad ever wants to do it because, you know, he doesn't have much time left. And I said, absolutely. And he goes, you know, let me. I'm not sure if he'd be interested in. But if he did, I think it would be important to talk about.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, he's got to be over 100 years old.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't know how old he is. He's old, though. Well, how long ago was.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You would have to have been born. Oh, no, actually, if he was born in 1935, I think he's in his 80s.

[Greg Gutfeld]

His late 80s.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. What am I thinking? Right, Right. Because they tattooed the fucking kids.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Mm. Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Jesus.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. It's dark. It's horrible. It's so crazy, dude. It's so crazy that that was less than a hundred years ago.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I know, I know. And the Germans, like that fucking Norm MacDonald bit about how, you know, Germany is the country we really should be afraid of. Like the way they start world wars and what they're like. It's really fucking nuts.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, they were the barbarians back in the day.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, they mean we think of now as engineers. They make BMWs, but back then they were the barbarians during the Roman era.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The virtual man, I guess the Vikings were Scandinavian. And then they were fighting against the brother German.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Fucking terrifying. Yeah, they were terrifying. And they all became engineers, like brilliant, like very disciplined people. Which is interesting because Germany is known for that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And. But also porn. Remember? Like in the early days of the Internet, a lot of the porn, like, weird, crazy. A lot of that was coming, and we were trying to analyze it one day. I was like, it's probably because if you're so buttoned down and so disciplined and regimented and conservative in your daily life, the way you cut loose, it's like you in each other's mouths and each other in the butt. Like, some of the craziest porn was coming out of Germany. Yeah, this was, like, late 90s, early 2000s, when we first started, like, finding weird websites that would, you know, you'd be able to find things on.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, no, before that, I'd go to Sex World in New York, where you sit in those booths and you put in quarters and you watch porn. And they always had the darkest German porn in there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, a lot of animals and shit. And I'm like. I'm like 15 years old. Going like. And I've got these coins. You go in and you give the guy 10 bucks, and he gives you a handful of coins. Just imagine if you put a black light on those fucking coins. And I got them in my hand.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Just jizz all over those things, feeding them into the.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And I'm pushing buttons to pick which film to watch.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I have a friend who brought a black light into a hotel room, and he said, you just find jizz on the carpet.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No kidding.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You find jizz on the fucking blanket sometimes. You go to any. Like, go to a cheap hotel or a motel. How well do you think they're cleaning those carpets? Do you think they clean the walls?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I've been in hotels where they put the remote control in a baggie for you because they say that's the most clean. No, no. So you don't have to touch the remote. And then they change the baggie on the remote each time a new guest comes in.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So you're supposed to remote through the bag?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Who does that?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I take it out of the bag.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I take it right out.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's ridiculous. I'm touching toilet seats. I'm touching everything. What are we talking about here?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I'm also not that afraid to come, you know?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean, it's gonna kill you. Yeah. Yeah. That's just kind of gross. But, yeah, you know, I mean, think about how much shit is on the average person's cell phone. Have you ever heard of that?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Just touch your cell phone with a swab. Like, get a swab and get. Get it analyzed. You'll find fecal matter all over Your cell phone.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Because we're scrolling all around the toilet. A lot of people are.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, a lot of people. And also, you're touching things, and then you touch your phone. And how many people touch their ass then touch a thing, a doorknob or this and that? You're getting fecal matter on everything.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Especially if you have a cat. I used to think about that all the time when I had cats. Like, the cats are in the shit box. They're scratched around there, and then they're walking on your counter. Yeah, they're walking. You know, they don't give a fuck where they go. They go everywhere. And you don't care. You're like, hey, buddy. Yeah, you pet them when they're on the counter. You want to shit in their paws.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Then. Then he. Then your dog licks his asshole and then licks. And the people have licked their face.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They lick my face.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, yeah. No, I let him give me kisses.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Have you seen him lick his asshole?

[Greg Gutfeld]

For sure. Especially my puppy. I have a little puppy now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Imagine a black light on your face right now.

[Greg Gutfeld]

My puppy goes, right. You know, I have a little.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You look like you were in blackface, probably.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I just splatter like, I'm the joker.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Al yells.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He goes, I have a puppy. Like, he's a King Charles Cavalier. He's a little, tiny, cute. He's so fucking cute. And then I have the golden retriever, and the puppy runs right up to the golden retriever, sticks his face in his dick, and then sticks his face in his asshole. And that's the first thing he does to him every time. Face on the dick. Face of the asshole. I'm like, bro, wow. What are you doing? Yeah, they. That's just dogs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's what they do.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's funny how they keep. Yeah. I had two dogs, and they did that. Yeah. Every day they sniffed each other, like, you know, I mean, I guess that's how they know if something changed. Maybe they know if the other dog is sick or if the other dog is breeding with another dog. It's like kind of checking their emails.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, they get so much information from smell that we can't even possibly process.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right, right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They say that a dog can smell a cheeseburger. They don't just smell the cheeseburger. They smell every individual ingredient. They smell the mustard. They smell the pickle. They smell everything. They smell the lettuce. Yeah. They smell. They smell. They think that dogs smell anxiety. They smell like moods. That's why when certain people come over your house they're scared of dogs. Dogs get sketchy with them. Like, what the fuck's up with this guy? Like, oh, he doesn't like you. Yeah, it's because the person's probably nervous. They're giving off a scent right now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

My mom, her sister was attacked really bad by a dog when they were little. So my mom has this trauma about dogs. We had these little. We had a Shih Tzu and a Lhasa apso. They're just little dogs. She was terrified and the dogs would growl at her. And they didn't growl at anybody.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, my God. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, they smell things. They sense things.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's why people have them as guards. That's how they made it to be dogs. They were the wolves that hung out with us and will let us know when something's going down.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Sentinels. Yeah. Yeah, that's. Well, I have a very strong olfactory sense. Like, I'm very of my five senses. I would put it up there at the top. Like, I love perfume.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I love perfume. I don't like when women wear too much of it and then they hug you at the Comedy Store and then you go home and you smell like fucking perfume. Like honey. It's just. Whitney Cummings has this new Chanel. But like sometimes I'll be, I'll walk, I'll. I'll be sitting somewhere and I'll smell some nice perfume and I'll fucking whip my head around it. It's like some 81 year old woman hunched over and you're like, oh, they.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Don'T wear the old ladies. No matter how old they are, they'll still put on the makeup, they'll still put on the perfume. Let it out. Time to go out and see. Go fishing. See if this old bait can catch a bass.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, right, Right. Yeah. There's this bar up at my. Where my mom lives in Florida, and there's this bar and it's like a famous cougar bar. And it's all these rich women who's. Cause, you know, men die faster, right. It's like it's impossible for a woman in Florida who's in her 70s to find a guy who's, you know, anywhere near her age. She's got to date a guy in his late 80s if she's in her 70s. And so these women go to this bar and they are, like you said, they're wearing so a lot of leopards, a lot of leopard print. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They're letting you know that stiletto heels.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's like stiletto heels, but the toes are all twisted and mangled.

[Greg Gutfeld]

My wife has been watching this horrible show that's on Netflix. It's like one of those Housewives shows, but it's all West Palm beach ladies. It's all these, like, rich ladies with plastic surgery.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Palm beach, not West Palm Beach.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's right. Palm beach ladies. Is Palm beach the rich area? Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is West Palm like the more moderate area?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, no, it's poor.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's poor.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Well, it has good sections, but it has the people that work on Palm beach cleaning the houses, live in West Palm Beach.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, I see.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Because there's basically Palm beach is a bridge to get to. Do you know the history of Palm Beach?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They built.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, but go ahead.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They created it. It was like a sandbar that they built up. And then they hired. They didn't hire. They hired a bunch of black people to come on the island and build all the houses, the infrastructure.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Why black people?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean, for sure they only hired black people.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, look it up, Jamie. But, like, all I know is there was a lot of black people doing the building. They finished it. And then the island held a big party for the black people on the end of the island to celebrate. And then they torched all their houses and forced them off the island. Yeah. That's the history of Palm Beach.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They torched their houses. Torched the houses after they were done building the mansion.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes. Yeah. And it's probably the wealthiest piece of real estate in the country right now.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So many people are fucking evil. That's. So imagine a guy who built your house. He's at home with his kid and having a, you know, wow, what a great job I got.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, and then I just started family.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Beautiful place.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Live in this place. I helped build these beautiful mansions.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

These people are going to love me because I helped them create a life.

[Greg Gutfeld]

God, they lit their fucking houses on fire.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Pull up that story. I need to hear about that. That's crazy. But these ladies are just monsters. This is. It's just all, like, the social status.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's all like, who's got the most money. Like, they don't even know how much money I have.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Like, I'm a millionair.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then they have these clubs. My friend's father lives there and he belongs to a club.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, you gotta belong to a club.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And he worked for. I won't say who the person was, but a very famous Jewish family. And she went to lunch One day at one of these clubs that didn't allow Jews. And the waiter clubs still don't allow Jews. No. This is going back 20 years at the most.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Only 20 years ago.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

20 years ago.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So in 20. 2006, 2006, probably about that. There was clubs with 20, 30 years.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Well, you know where the Augusta, where they play the Masters, only started allowing black members in, like, the 80s. Remember Tiger woods was playing there, and he got shit because he was a black playing at a club where they didn't allow black people.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And they said, how could you do that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. During Tiger woods lifetime.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So anyway, so this Jewish woman goes to the club. The waiter wouldn't come over to the table, and finally the member went over and goes, what's going? We can't. We can't serve. We can't serve her.

[Greg Gutfeld]

How'd they even know she was Jewish?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

She's famous. Oh, yeah. I think I can say who it is. It was Estee Lauder's wife.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Or was Estee Lauder the woman? Yeah, Estee Lauder is the woman. It was her.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

One of the richest women in the country.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

We can't serve her because of her religion.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow. And that was 2006.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Hey, country clubs, you know, the rule on it was. Well, look, the Friars Club, you need.

[Greg Gutfeld]

To make sure that's true. The Estee Lauder one. I definitely want to find out about the burning.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, the Estee Lauder is personal information. I don't know that. That's not published anywhere.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All right, forget about that, then.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

But no segregation in clubs. Private clubs used to get away with that until I was a member of the Friars Club in New York, and they did not allow female members until I was there in. It was the late mid-90s, before the Friars Club allowed female members. And the reason was, legally, you can't have a club exclude people. If you can prove business is being done there, if there's commerce, if there's no business, you can let in whoever you want.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So that's how they got female members in there. And I think they probably. I mean, obviously, business being done at golf clubs.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, business is definitely being done at the Friars Club.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Mm.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean, a lot of deals probably got made there. A lot of ideas got hatched.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean, all these comics, it was all agent.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It was agents and comics.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I remember you used to love that place, dude.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It was so fun.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You always tell me about it. It was so unappealing to me.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It Was a. It was a clubhouse for comedians. We used to go there. They had pool. They had two beautiful pool tables. I played on the Ferrari's club pool team. And my. And we used to play against other clubs in the city, all the other private clubs. Paul Cervino was my partner in pool.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Paul Sorvino could play.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He was good.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He was good. He was like. He could run 100 balls in straight pool. He was like a legit high level player.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So he carried me. But we used to play all the clubs and then, you know, and then they got a nice gym with the best steam room in the city. And then they got these lazy boys. You work out, you take a fucking steam and you send a la Z boy and you read the newspaper. And then they got a dining room downstairs where Henny youngman is at one table, Alan King's at the. You know, and these guys, like those old. Those old borch belt comics, they lived to make you laugh. It's all like comedians today. So many of them are dark and quiet and disturbed. These guys fucking told jokes and they roasted you and they hugged you. And it was like. It was like a part of being on stage almost, you know, it was expected right now. It was.

[Greg Gutfeld]

We all felt real comfortable in this, you know, comics only club.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Folklore surrounding the sticks of Palm Beach. So that's what it is.

[Jamie]

That's the area, what they called it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So go to the top of that, please. Well, right there. Turn of 20th century's employment boom of unprecedented proportions in south Florida. The hiring of thousands of black laborers to extend Henry Flagler's Florida east coast railroad. Oh, this is the east coast railroad railroad. These laborers played a key role in the development of the early Palm Beach. Also helped to build the Royal Point Poana hotel, Flagler's white hall residence, which is today known as the Henry Flagler museum. Laborers and their family settled in Palm beach island between north county road and Sunrise avenue. This area of shanties and tent like homes soon became known as the sticks. Many of those descendants still live in the area today. So what happened? Does it say what happened? Okay. Along came a fellow named Henley Flagler, who decided he needed that land to build on to develop. Little said. And he threw a party for all the blacks on the island. And they all went over to the party. And while they were celebrating and enjoying themselves, their homes on the island of the town of Palm beach burned down. Mystery mysteriously. Holy dude.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

From What I heard, McCray said he got with the residents and set up a party on West Palm beach side and had everybody ferried over to the party and then had a mob of people to burn up people's homes and shanties and tents all over the sticks and forced them out of there and took the land. How many people died there?

[Jamie]

I don't know how many people died. It's. They were all gone. So there's around.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Right, but what about their kids?

[Jamie]

Around 2,000 people live in that area is what it said.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, my God.

[Jamie]

And then this is the problem. When I was looking it up on Wikipedia, this is basically what I read.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay. Palm Beach Historical Society version is very different. Published text only says that by 1912, the. This tenants of the sticks had been evicted. That doesn't mean anything. They could have still been there especially.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I'm sure Flagler threw some money at the Palm Beach Historical Society.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, of course. Right. No mention of a fire. Any record of large scale homelessness that would have followed such a devastating blaze. Everly Clark believes his version is the most accurate. The sticks was actually legislated out of existence. They claimed there was a fire and Flagler had the people come to circus and all that, but that's not true. Still more than a century later, the urban legend remains strong and the pulse of public opinion split. There are so many historical facts that make some of the scurrilous removal of the residents believable, that it's become lore for the most part in the black community. All right, well, let's find out if there's a historical record of the fires.

[Jamie]

This is all I could get to.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's it.

[Jamie]

This is a local news.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And what year was this supposedly?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

1920.

[Jamie]

1912.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, I bet they did it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, look what they did in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You know, this was part of the playbook, right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, look what they did with the Tuskegee experiment. Right? Look at that. Like, how about that? They knowingly had all these people with syphilis and didn't treat them, just to study them and see what would happen to them.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Did they give people syphilis or did they just treat them for syphilis?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Whatever it was, they let these fucking people rot and died. Syphilis is a fucking horrible disease.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Tell me about it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Get it. Do you know the story about syphilis and wigs?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You don't know that?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No.

[Greg Gutfeld]

All those dudes in like the ancient times that had the big wigs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That was to cover up the hair loss from syphilis, dude.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

How did not everybody have it well.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They all had wigs, but they all had it right in high society. First of all, those people were basically like Game of Thrones. They were all just fucking freaks banging each other. You know, French. French society has always been, like, very loose sexually. And so these two royals, were they brothers or cousins?

[Jamie]

They were brothers. I'm double checking.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So these guys get syphilis. Their hair falls out, right? You get holes in your face and shit, and they're still fucking everybody, right? And so they got wigs made. And the more money you had, the more elaborate and big your wig was. That's why rich people are big wigs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No. Yes. I love it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Isn't that crazy?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Crazy. That term that we always use when we were kids is a big wig.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that's like, ancient.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That goes back to the 1400s.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's like something you would hear on that guy Cody Tucker's feed. Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I love that guy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I'm doing his podcast.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, he's on mine. He's great. He's great. Very smart guy. Here's what's interesting. There's a strong connection between the syphilis that evolved in North America and the syphilis that these guys had in Europe. There's always been syphilis, but syphilis had an outbreak in Europe after people came to North America, probably a bunch of Native Americans, and then went back to Europe with these diseases.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then it mutated.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Different kind of syphilis.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

There were cousins.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It turns out they were cousins. Yeah, that's what I thought. This is a story. They were commonly used to cover up hair loss, but their use did not become widespread until two kings started to lose their hair. King Louis the 14th of France experienced hair loss at the age of 17, then hired 48 wig makers.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

48.

[Greg Gutfeld]

To help combat his thinning locks. So a lot of these guys wound up getting syphilis, and there's, you know, normal hair loss on top of it. Both conditions being syphilitic signals. Everybody had syphilis back then, man. There's. I mean, they probably didn't wear condoms. They're probably all freaks. They're probably doing. Yes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, that's what you did when you were a wealthy guy. You went to the whorehouse all the time. Then you came home and you gave it to your wife. Then she had a baby. And depending on the disease, babies are born with the sexually transmitted disease that you gave your wife. Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And that's what the crazy thing about the Epstein leaks today. The one email and we're here that said that Bill Gates wanted to get from him antibiotics to give to Melinda because he got syphilis or he got something the clap. Chlamydia. Whatever he got. He got some sort of an STD from a prostitute.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Do you think if she could have the choice between getting the. What did she get $50 billion or not getting the syphilis, which is.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, whatever she got, I bet it wasn't syphilis. It was probably the clap. It was probably chlamydia or something like that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's no big deal.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But if. Who knows if that's true, though, here's the thing. Like, Epstein clearly was some sort of a blackmailer. And this is an email that Epstein wrote. So it could be complete fiction. Epstein could have wrote that just to put pressure on Bill Gates for some fucking business deal. Who fucking knows? He could have spread rumors and then said that he'll squash those rooms. These guys are dealing in deception and blackmail. And so you can't, like, assume that it's true.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Think about how many relationships Epstein had and that he was working almost every one of them leveraging. And he was kind of brilliant.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, he was really good at that. That one thing, you know, guy could have cured cancer if he went into that business.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, he was into science. Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, he was also into compromising scientists, right? Like, let's say that you want to get a drug passed, right? And you want FDA approval of this drug, but there's some sort of a competing drug. We have a bunch of scientists on your side, and these scientists can go attack that competing drug. And then all of a sudden, well, you have this guy, he comes from MIT and he says this and like, oh. And then the FDA listens to him. I mean, it's very important to have the leverage of respected academics, right? You know, Epstein with a smiley emoji acts. Ask former Israeli PM Ehad Barack. How you say his name? Ehud Barack. To clarify, he does not work for the Mossad. In a meeting with a senior Qatari investment, officially.

[Jamie]

Hi. Are you going to be in London on Thursday? Best eb.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You.

[Jamie]

Unfortunately not. You should make clear that I don't work for miss Oddsmile. Smiley face.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, boy.

[Jamie]

Or I question mark that I don't.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Smiley face.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, he doesn't work for him. He just.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He just volunteers for them with a smiley smiley face. Emojis are hilarious. Evil suckers uses smiley face emojis. That's hilarious, right? That's so funny.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Dude, this is really good show about Mossad called Tehran. Have you Heard of that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, I haven't watched it, though.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is it good?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's really good. I mean, it's a really good look inside of what goes on in Iran in terms of. I mean, the Israelis are fucking brilliant. The infiltration that they did in Syria.

[Greg Gutfeld]

No one's like them. They're the best. Yeah, they're the best at that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, they have to be, right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Those pagers.

[Greg Gutfeld]

This is them. This table is people who hate them.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, right, Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You gotta become a bad motherfucker. Your neighbors don't want you dead.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Those pagers going off in Lebanon, that was a long play.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That was months and months, Was it Years.

[Jamie]

Years.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes, wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They're like the pages right next to your.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Blow your dick off, you blow a hole through your pelvis. Apparently that's how you die.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And you're isolating your enemy. You're not. There's no civilian casualties.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, I bet they probably got some kids, but low.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Low percentage versus bombing a building or.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Something, which they did do. Yeah, yeah, they did some of that. Like, the guys in the building I was on. Level the building.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I was on Good Day LA one time. You know, it's all those, like, pretty women. They're actually really sharp. They're great. And. And I go. They said, oh, you came alone? I go, no, my. My agent's supposed to be here any minute. He's Lebanese. I just paged him before I got here, but I haven't heard anything back. And they. They were like, whoa, it just happened, like, three days before.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Didn't we just. Not we. Didn't Israel just bomb Lebanon today?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, really?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I believe so, yeah. At least according to Twitter.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, what's going on? Iran. I heard things are heating up over there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, Trump just said they're sending ships in that area. And he said. But he also said Iran wants to make a deal, so maybe he's trying to put pressure on them to make a deal.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And, you know, hopefully nothing happens in terms of, like, military intervention. It's scary, dude, because they have nuclear weapons or they have the potential to eventually have nuclear weapons, but, you know, I don't know. Did Israel bomb? Yeah, there was some image that showed, like, some huge explosion, and it said Israel just bombed Lebanon. They definitely have recently seen something about airstrikes late Friday.

[Jamie]

Oh, I guess it'd be late there, right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Nighttime over there, maybe. Yeah, no, there's not. I mean, it's. If it is, it's like it's just breaking. It's sort of Just there's some stuff.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, the thing is like, there are. You know, there it is. Two hours ago, Israel bombs Lebanon.

[Jamie]

Yeah. It's like the only thing I'm seeing about it, which is. Well, that doesn't usually happen.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's probably all just coming out, right?

[Jamie]

No, I mean, would you type in that on?

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's all you see is that one. So that might not be true. Click on that link, see if anybody's disputing it. Click on that tweet.

[Jamie]

There's only got 15 responses.

[Greg Gutfeld]

This is true. Grok. Click on that. Yes. Multiple sources indicate report Israeli airstrikes in Southern Lebanon on January 30th targeting Hezbollah. IDF complaint confirmed a wave of strikes. Lebanese media noted the drone hit and say that word. How do you say that word?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

City keen.

[Greg Gutfeld]

City keen. Killing one times of Israel and Sok. News for details. Whatever you say, that is news for details.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

We're so lucky, man. We got no neighbors. Nobody's launching.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, we're in a good spot geographically. Be separated by oceans on both sides is fucking.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I guess.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Which is why we should be really good friends with Canada. Like, what the fuck's going on? Trump ruined that whole thing, man. Because if he didn't talk about turning Canada to the 51st state, the Conservatives are going to win. Pierre Polevet would have taken over. It would have been like, they would have like eased a lot of the restrictions, made it a lot more common sense.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Dude, China was just up there. They just made a huge deal to get all their cars from China. Now we're not gonna sell any American cars in Canada.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, it's a real problem because China has some fucking amazing cars. Amazing cars now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, bro.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They're not around. Their electric vehicles are top of the food chain, man.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Tesla, just yesterday, they just stopped the Model X, Model S and X production.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I saw that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Apparently, Elon is this Optimus robot is going to change the world.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Everybody that I know that's seen it. When this thing integrates with AI, you're going to have a fucking dude in your house. You're going to have a super genius robot dude in your house.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Does he look like.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Looks like Irobot. And he's going to be able to do whatever the fuck you need him to do. Go dig a ditch. Go do this. Take out the garbage.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You know what's fucking great is for old people that live alone 100%, they know everything about your life. They could actually hold a conversation with you.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Show pictures of your fucking grandkids on their Chest while they know your interest, ask you memories. All, all people want to do is talk about, you know, memories. And they're gonna listen.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, they'll talk to you.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Not only that, they'll confirm all of your delusions. Tesla to build 1 million Optimus robots per year at Fremont factory. 1 million a year.

[Jamie]

I was hearing we need these robots because they're gonna terraform the moon and Mars. Like we're not going to do it. The robots are going to do it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't think anybody's going to Mars, not in our lifetime. I think that's all the future.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's a little chilly up there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's not just that, it's just like no one's going to want to do it. You'd have. Only suicidal people want to go one way trip. Yeah. Well you can get back. You get back. It used to be a one way trip. Now they figured out you can get back.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh really?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, but you have to wait six months. Yeah, you get back like every six months. That's that movie the Martian.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Plus the flight's going to be delayed, right? Yeah, or hope.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You just hope it doesn't get hit with a micrometeor while it's out in space. Like all kinds of weird shit can happen. You got some micro media micrometeors, tiny ones are flying around and just punch holes through everything. They're going like 170,000 miles an hour and they just go whipping through the building.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

How much junk is there in space right now in terms of like satellites that just crapped out?

[Greg Gutfeld]

But just if you ever looked at the amount of satellites that surround the Earth. Yeah, it's fucking bananas. Yeah, it's nuts. And then there's, and there's no plan.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

For when they expire, right? They just stay up there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, some of them, they lose their orbit, their orbit decays and then they come crashing down to the earth. Yeah, that happens. And you know, they have to figure out where they're going to hit, you know, and hopefully they don't hit the middle of fucking, you know, Dusseldorf, you know what I mean? Like you could hit a major city.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It'S a funny city to say Dusseldorf.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean it could, you know, you got a fucking satellite down there, it could land right in your face.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that's wild.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Yeah. I went to SpaceX for the launch of the last rocket. I watched the launch. Jamie did too. We were right there and I went into the control room with Elon and watched the entire journey while it was flying over The Earth. And it lands. It touched down in Australia in the ocean. 35 minutes later.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really?

[Greg Gutfeld]

It was nuts.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So it breaks through the atmosphere, travels, and then comes straight down.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yep. Space goes. And you get to watch because they have like 20 fucking cameras on the thing the entire time. Live streaming through Starlink. So you're live streaming the interior. They're monitoring the pressure of the cabin. They're monitoring all these different things. And so the. This is the way they. They test tolerances. It's like when a lot of people say, oh, his rockets blow up. He's a dumbass. They want the rockets to blow up. Like, they have to find out, like, what makes the rocket blow up. Like, how much pressure can you put? How thin do the walls have to. How reinforced do things have to be?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. You know, and then they're trying a new bit.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They make adjustments. That's what they do. Like, so they've. They've calculated in a certain amount of failures that they expect to have.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And this one actually had a failure, but still landed.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So that's going to be. The new first class is going to Australia in 35 minutes. Wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Boom.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's crazy.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Nuts. 35 minutes. Touchdown.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The ocean, but a pretty intense ride, I would imagine.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Touchdown. In an exact spot where they had boats ready. They had cameras filming it. They filmed the entire touchdown.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Does it have to be over the ocean or they. Can they land on land?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, his rockets can now land on land. You've seen how that. That thing comes down and lands on the ground, which is bananas. And then they stop landing them on the ground. Now they catch them with arms. It's even more efficient. You've seen that, right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, because NASA was wasting so much money because every single rocket was ruined when it came back.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, you know what's crazy? NASA is about to launch the Artemis mission, and no one's talking about it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Where is that going?

[Greg Gutfeld]

They're sending people around the moon and having them come back to Earth. And you hear nothing about it. Like, have you heard about it?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Me neither. You know how I found out about it? Somebody asked me at the club. Some guy in the audience said, what do you think about the Artemis mission? I go, what is it? He's like, NASA's got a mission. They're flying people around the moon. I'm like. When? He's like, february. I'm like, come on. Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, what's the mission? What are they trying to do?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't know. Let's find out. Artemis is.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They're not landing on the moon?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Not this time.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Okay?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, this time I think they're just flying.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Isn't it weird? Have we landed on the moon since the 60s?

[Greg Gutfeld]

If we ever did in the first place? No.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Are you being serious?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. I don't know if we did.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know if we did either.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I used to believe it before COVID No, I didn't. I didn't believe it for a long time. And then I said, I'm probably wrong. I don't know what I'm talking about. Let me just leave it alone. And then I got back into it again and I was like, but it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense that these guys went like, Neil Armstrong basically went into hiding. And then at the 25th anniversary of the launch, he gave the most cryptic speech for this team of high school graduates, like these honor students. Yeah, you should see the speech, because the speech is nuts. And then I went back and watched the post flight press conference when they supposedly landed after they landed on the moon and came back home. It's like a hostage video. It is the weirdest behavior. They seem like they're. There's a guy who is a body language expert. He's like, these guys are all being deceptive. He analyzed it on YouTube and he's like, this guy, what he's doing here, like, this guy's being deceptive. This is clear deceptive behavior.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, I've checked it so many times online and everybody said it's been refused, but my whole thing is like.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But it happened.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It was 1969. I had a 69 Chevy and I used to drive it from Boston to New York. And it would break down about half the time.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, but that's different. That's different.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Is it? Yeah, it's still a fucking. It was a gas powered engine, right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But it could go one. If you had to take one trip with it, it would make it. They were just not that good over time.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, how much. What was the equivalent computing power that they had on that Apollo that we would have? Is it our phone?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Your phone is way more powerful. Yeah, you're way more powerful than a room of supercomputers. However, it doesn't take like immense computing power. Once you've got the calculations and you understand the trajectory and that you're going to use the gravity of the moon, you're going to slingshot around the moon and come back. That's not the problem. The problem is the Van Allen radiation belts is a thick band of radiation that surrounds the Earth. And not just that, but they tried experiments to blow holes in that radiation belt. There's this thing called Operation Starfish prime where they launched nukes into space and had them detonate them in the belts. And they thought they got blow a hole through it. Did the opposite. Made the belt supercharged, made it way more radioactive.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

At least temporarily. The problem is they've never sent anything out into deep space and had it come back alive. Except the Apollo astronauts. They never even sent a chicken out there and had to come back alive. There's all sorts of crazy shit with radiation and solar. If there was any sort of solar flare, everyone's dead.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

If there's any sort of, like, weirdness, space weirdness, radiation weirdness, dead, very little protection, thin aluminum shield. It just didn't make any sense. And also, there's not been a single thing from 1969 that's not cheaper, easier, and better today other than the moon landing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And we haven't done it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, we haven't done it since 72.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They went, isn't that crazy?

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's nuts. It doesn't seem real.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It was also the first time, by the way.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Can I just stop for a moment and go. Having a talk about moon landing with Joe Rogan is a little bit like playing, like, pickup basketball with the Celtics. It's just a moment in time.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I know too much. I know too much. I've spent a stupid amount of time of my life studying this.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It was also Werner von Braun, you know, publicly said before he even got involved with NASA, you couldn't go to the moon. It's like, it would take. It would take so much fuel to get there. It would take. The rockets would have to be so big to get there. That wouldn't be possible. And he also went to Antarctica before the moon landings to pick up moon rocks. There's like, it was a publicly known trip. Antarctica is a great place to get meteorites because it's all white. You know, it's all just so when they land, you can see them. And a lot of our meteorites come off the moon. The moon gets hit, chunk flies off, enters Earth's atmosphere, lands on Earth, commonly known. Right. So he. He did that. And then they gave away a piece of moon rock that they got from the moon to the prime minister of the Netherlands. I think, look that up. And this is like Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins, Neil Armstrong presented this. Like, look, sir, we've given you a chunk of the moon. Turned out it was a piece of petrified wood. They had it analyzed years later. It was not a moon rock. They just like these people.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Give them that colored rock over there, Thomas. From the moon. And somebody got suspicious, like, what is this?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's like your wife finding out it's a cubic zirconium rock. Turns out, fake. Dutch national.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Boy, say that word.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Rick's Museum.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Rick's Museum made an embarrassing announcement last week. One of its most loved possessions, a moon rock, is fake. It's just an old piece of petrified wood that's never been anywhere near the moon. And it was given to them. So. So when was it given to them? Does it say? Okay? Okay. The rock was given as a private gift to former Prime Minister William Drees, Jr. In 1969 by the U.S. ambassador to the Netherlands, J. William Middendorf II, during a visit by the Apollo 11 astronauts Armstrong, Collins, and Aldrin soon after the first moon landing. Dries had been out of office for 11 years, but was considered an elder statesman when he died in 88. The rock was donated to the Ricks Museum, where it has remained ever since. According to A museum spokeswoman, Ms. Van Gelder, no one doubted the authenticity of the rock because it was in the Prime Minister's own collection, and they had vetted the acquisition by a phone call to NASA. Ah. It was insured for approximately half a million dollars, but its actual value is probably no more than 70 bucks. The value is what someone's willing to pay for it. I'll give you 100 for it. Sure, sell it to me. I want that fake moon rock. If anybody has it. Yeah, I will give you $10,000 for.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That fake moon ride right on this table. And also, like, they get to the moon, and you're like, all right, they made it to the moon in a 69 Chevy, and now they got a car. What?

[Greg Gutfeld]

On the moon. Where'd it come.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They got a car.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Where was it? There's a bunch of shit, man. There's the flag hop. There's an astronaut hops by the flag and it blows in his breeze. In an atmosphereless moon, there's so many problems with it. And you could say you're gaslighting yourself if you don't say, there's no problems at the moon landing. It's fucking weird. The intersecting shadows and people like, well, it indicates two light sources. Like, no, no, no. It could be the invite. It could be. But it could be intersecting shadows because of different life sources. It could be not just the sun, but, like a fucking studio stage.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wasn't there something about lights in the horizon that were. That should have been there?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, lights in space, but. But the thing is, it's like if you're trying to film the surface of the moon in this, in the day, you're not going to see any stars in the sky because it's going to be just like the stars on Earth. It's black, you know, black. The light that's reflected off the moon's surface is probably going to drown out most of it. It's probably going to be like, you know, you go out of New York City, you see a couple stars, right? Now think of the amount of light that's in New York City, and I think of the sun blasting down on the white surface of the fucking moon and how much reflection that must give. That makes sense, but it doesn't make sense. They didn't set a camera up with the aperture set up correctly where, you know, you get a time lapse photo so you could get images of space that could easily have been done. They didn't do any of that. But the problem with that is if you took a photo from the moon, astronomers would be able to go, well, that doesn't make any sense. This isn't. This is not here. That's not there. This is. That's not where these constellations would be. So it's too much work to like, place all the stars in the exact order. So just have it black. Have a black.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Find the Apollo, the. The speech by Neil Armstrong at the 25th anniversary. Because his speech is bananas. It's so cryptic. This is a guy who went to the moon and he's talking to these genius kids, and instead of saying, hey, we went to the moon. Listen to what he says because it's, it's kooky. Put on the, put on the headphones.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, that's not on your desktop, Jamie.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That should be in a folder, a saved folder. We pulled that thing up about 30 times. There's. There's a lot of weirdness to it, you know, and also you're dealing with 1969, Richard Nixon's president. They lied about everything. This is. They lied about going into the Vietnam War. They were about to do Operation Northwoods where they're gonna bomb Guantanamo Bay and blame it on the Cubans so that we can go to war with Cuba. They were gonna blow up a cube, an American jetliner, and blame it on Cuba.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There was all the lies about drugs to start the war on drugs.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Put the headphones on real quick. Listen to this. So this is the 25th anniversary. Let's hear play this. On the 25th anniversary of the event. In 1994, Neil Armstrong made a rare public appearance and held back tears as he spoke these brief, cryptic remarks before the next generation of taxpayers as they toured the White House. Today we have with us a group of students among America's best. To you, we say, we have only completed a beginning. We leave you much that is undone. There are great ideas, undiscovered breakthroughs available to those who can remove one of Truth's protective layers. What. What does that mean? One of Truth's protective layers.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's odd.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Beyond. You're talking to genius kids and you're leaving a cryptic mark about truth protect. How about saying, I went to the moon. You can go to the moon too. We could all go to the moon. We should go to Mars. We could do colonize space. No Great breakthroughs for those who could remove one of Truth's protective layers. Truth protective layer. Like, there's great breakthroughs, but you have to realize we didn't really go to the moon. Okay. That is one of Truth's protective layers. Yeah, it's filled with. But you have to be willing to be looked at as a fool.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Didn't Kubrick say that he shot the footage?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, no, that's all fake. Oh, that's all fake. Yeah, there's. That's the big rumor. So the thought was that Kubrick was involved because you would take. It would take a genius to be able to film it, to make it look like the moon landing could be possible. You're dealing with Kubrick. That was coincide. That was coinciding with 2001 Space Odyssey. It was at the same time that all this was going on, you know, during the same time period. So if there was a guy that could do it, it would be Kubrick. But is there any evidence that Kubrick even talked to them? I don't know. It. You know, you'd have to have someone like him, though.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Because you're faking this thing and you're trying to make it look pretty realistic. There's other problems. There's reoccurring backgrounds that are from places that are nowhere near the same place. But if you overlay them, they look exactly the same. Like the same mountains in the background. The same tomography, topography. Rather, you can. You can go for weeks and weeks down this rabbit hole and lose your marbles.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What I like about it is when you talk, if you're talking to someone annoying and they want to talk to you about, like, serious stuff. And you. I don't even think we went to the moon. They go, I gotta go. Leave you alone.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I love it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They leave you alone.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah. It is great for me.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Who has a bunch of, like, very public opinions about things like, please dismiss me. I should not be a voice of, like, any kind of voice of authority or any kind of voice of what's true and what's not and what. I'm just talking shit, okay? That's what I do. I'm not some official source of information. I don't want to be. So, like, I like talking about the moon day landing field because he doesn't believe we went to the moon. You're right. I don't. Good. Yeah. Don't listen to me. You don't have to listen to me. I'm not saying I'm right, but what I am saying is if there's one fucking conspiracy that I think is the most unlikely, the most preposterous in the public eyes, but might be true, it's that we didn't go to the moon.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I remember I hadn't smoked pot because I haven't drank in 35 years, and I didn't smoke pot for 20. And then one night, I was with my buddy, Ross Broccoli. I don't know if you remember that guy. He was a comic out of New York, and he had a pickup truck, and I was doing a gig in Omaha. So he lives on a farm in Lincoln, picks me up in this old pickup truck, and we smoke pot on the way back from the gig. And then we get to his house and we start showing me footage of the moon landing. I was up all night, just high, talking about how the spacesuit had a fucking. Clearly, there was a rope pulling on the back of the guys.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, the wires.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wires pulling on that. And I was just like, what?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, have you seen the physics of guys falling down and then getting yanked back up to their feet? Like, that's also. I. This is another guy that I talked to that's a physicist that doesn't want to be named. And he said, my problem has always been with the physics of 1:6 Earth gravity. He goes, those people are not behaving like it's 16 earth gravity. He goes, when I look at it, it looks like it's in slow motion, but there's no indication that they can do things that you can't do in regular gravity. He's like, 16 Earth gravity is crazy. Like, could you. Matt, like, Look, I weigh 200 pounds. Imagine if I weighed 1/6 of 200 pounds with 200 pounds of strength, how high I could jump? Dude, I probably jumped 20ft in the air. Like, what is that? What is 1/6th of 200?

[Jamie]

Roughly 35 pounds.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay. Imagine how far I can throw 35 pounds. I could take a 35 pound kettlebell and chuck it across the room. Especially if I wind up, if I spin around like a shot putter, I'll fucking throw that thing. Imagine what you could do with a running start if you weighed 35 pounds and just leaped in the air. You could fly. This was his take on it. He was like, we don't have any observable instances of people operating in 16 Earth gravity except for the moon missions. And he said, and it just always seems weird to me. He goes, because when you look at the people in zero gravity, they behave exactly like zero gravity. You look at people in the space station. He goes, all that matches. They can all float around. They can spin. It seems funny. They can like drift toothpaste to each other and they catch it. He goes, all that tracks. It's like the. The moon landings. He was like, it's weird. He goes, I see them. They're like kind of hopping around. And then when you speed it up, like when you make it double speed, it looks like they're on Earth just hopping around on Earth.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Also, Were they live streaming it?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, back then, your phone was attached to the wall in the kitchen, and you know what I mean, right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

But they could do some things live streaming back then. Here's part of the problem with it, though. When they live streamed it on television, the news stations for the first time ever, were not allowed to get a direct feedback. What they did was they had to point their cameras at a projection screen. And so NASA projected the images of these guys, the video of these guys on the moon. And that's why the original Apollo mission is so grainy and shitty looking. Like, what better way to hide the, you know, the weirdness of it all than to make people film off of a projection screen? Like, see if you can find the original footage of the moon mission as seen on television. It's all weird, man. All of it's weird. The photographs are weird. It's weird.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There was this documentary that I saw once. It came out around 91 maybe, and it tracked the lives of the men who had been on the moon. The. The first ones that had been. I don't know if it's the first, but the first couple waves and they all had these crazy existential experiences. One guy spent the rest of his life looking for Noah's Ark. I think one of them committed suicide. One was like a born again.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, they were probably forced to lie in front of the whole world and they had to live as a fraud. If it's true that they didn't go to the moon, I mean, it tracks with their behavior. Neil Armstrong became a recluse. Didn't want to give interviews, didn't want to talk to people. This is what you got to see on tv. So it's like, what is this? Oh, it's. It's real weird. Nixon talking to them on the phone. Congratulations, boys. Like, maybe they had some sort of technology they could communicate with people that far away. But, like, wouldn't there be an immense delay?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, there was.

[Greg Gutfeld]

How much? Well, I'm sure they would probably calculate that delay into the conversation if they were trying to fake it. But the point is, it's highly unlikely that we would do that in 1969 and not have bases in the moon by now. It's highly unlikely. Whoa. Well, you spend a lot of money. That's the other thing. All of the technology is missing, right? The telemetry data. They deleted all that, which is like the real information that tracks the mission at every step of the way. All that's gone. They deleted that. They deleted all the original videos. All the original film, gone. All you get is copies, so nothing can be analyzed. 2.2, 2.6 second round trip lightspeed delay appears in the original Apollo 11 accord recordings of Nixon's phone call. Well, I would do that. I would make a little delay. I wouldn't make it instantaneous if I was going to fake it. Especially if you're like Stanley Kubrick. Yeah, it's. It's all like, real weird, man. It's real weird because I. The first thing that I saw that made me think about it was this Bart Sobral movie, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Moon, and I had him on the podcast. And that Neil Armstrong thing, that's the first time I saw that. That's. That clips, actually from that documentary. The documentary is crazy. There's a lot of things in that documentary just like, what?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, what?

[Greg Gutfeld]

But a lot of those astronauts got real weird when they came back. But also, you'd probably get real weird if you went to the moon too.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Exactly.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, the guys that just go in space, which I do believe they went in space. Guys that just go to the space station, come back and they have this Very profound experience of seeing the Earth from the distance. And they. They just realize, like, oh, my God, we're such fools. We're all together, alone on this one thing. We're fighting over nonsense and borders and resources. There's enough for everyone. We should just unite as a human race. And it's this. Like this. They all have a very similar kind of epiphany when they go up there, which makes sense. I mean, you're way up in the year, 300 miles above the Earth, looking down on it, thinking of how important this blue circle is to you.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I mean, that would weird you out, period.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It could be good for people. The more people that can see that, the better.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What it did for Katy Perry.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Like, what it did for her, it literally ruined her career.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't understand why it ruined her. Like, what was the big deal?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know. It was.

[Greg Gutfeld]

People were mad at her.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I feel like it's like that when you see certain actresses at the Oscars act like fucking lunatics. Like, I forget that woman's name, but some actress. And they overdo the speech, and everybody goes like, phony weirdo. And then you just don't want to see their movies anymore.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That is true. It does happen. Or they just talk too much about politics or social issues. Like, that poor girl, that was a really young girl that played Snow White, and she tanked the movie. Nobody wanted to see the movie after she was talking. Oh, God.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I know. Just shut up.

[Greg Gutfeld]

These kids, they get so wrapped up in this social media echo chamber of being, like, a virtuous social justice warrior, and they want to use their platform and, like, hey, honey, you're not 19. Like, when I was 19, thank God nobody put a microphone in front of my face. Thank God someone. No one asked me what I thought about global events and world politics. Yeah, social justice. Thank God. Thank God I didn't have Twitter.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The. So I. I spoke to you on the phone about a month ago, and I started to tell you a story, and you had heard it and you said, save it for the podcast.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. All right. So I go to Alaska in October, and I'm doing a couple. And so the guy that runs it says to me, I go, I'd like to do something outdoorsy while I'm here. It's early October, so it's not too cold yet. And he calls me back and he goes, well, I know this guy. He's got an outdoorsy company, and he's a fan of yours, and he wants to take you out on an adventure. And now I hear adventure. I'm like, that sounds like more than I want. I was just looking for maybe a quick day trip and so. Cause I'm a pussy. I'm not like you. I don't want to fucking be outside that long. I love. I love the indoors. The indoors is victory to me. And so the guy picks me up, and he's got a big pickup and a trailer on the back with a muddy dune buggy. And I get in and he shakes my hand, and he's got a fucking rough grip. He's like, how you doing? And I immediately feel like such a pussy. Like, my hand goes limp, and I'm like, hi. And so we start driving, and he seems a really good guy, and I started to warm up to him, and then this police siren goes off behind us. So he starts pulling over, and he goes, this is bad. And I was like, what do you mean? I go, you didn't do anything. I go, this is fine. He goes, no, this is bad.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I'm like, what?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So we pull over, and I swear to God every word of this is true. So this cop starts walking up towards the car. He's about 6 foot 4. And as he walks, the guy driving hands me a baggie with white powder. And part of it spills on my pants. And he goes, hide this. Oh. So I shove it under. So I shove it under the car seat. The cop walks up and he goes, license and registration. So the guy says to me, open my glove compartment. Get the lice. So I open his glove compartment, and another baggie with white pills and hundred dollar bills pops out. And I shove it back in with my hand, and I cover it with a piece of paper, which I don't even know why I'm doing that. Like, all of a sudden you're like a teenager again, and there's a cop and you gotta hide the drugs. I just had an instinct. And the cop goes, what are you hiding? And I go, nothing. And he goes, grab that bag. So I take the bag and I hand him the drugs. And he goes, both of you put your hands on the dashboard. And he gets the license from the guy, and he goes back to his car, and he runs the license. And I say to the guy, I go, what the fuck is going on right now? He goes, just don't say anything. I'm like, don't say. I don't know what to say. So the cop comes back and he goes, do you realize you have two outstanding felony warrants? And the guy goes, yeah, yeah. And he goes, do you have any guns in the car? And I'm thinking, I would imagine, yeah, probably. And the guy goes, no, I don't have any guns. So he takes the guy out of the car, cuffs him, brings him back to the squad car. And now he comes back up to the car and he goes, I'm not coming closer. He's standing like five feet from the window. He goes, I'm not coming closer because that's fentanyl on your pants. And I'm like, what? And he goes. I go, look, man, I don't even. I met this guy 20 minutes ago. I said, I'm a comedian. I'm just up here doing a show tonight. And he goes, I'm not buying your story. And I said, why not? He goes, because California is a drug feeder state. And you say you're a comedian and you haven't said anything funny. I'm like, when was I supposed to? When should I roast you right now?

[Greg Gutfeld]

You didn't tell him. Just Google me real quick.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. So he goes, how are you feeling? Are you feeling any effects from the fentanyl? I go, yeah. I said, I feel very light headed. I feel weird right now. So the guy says, well, where did you get the drugs? I said, the glove compartment. He goes, he said, they're yours. I go, he said, they're my drug. So he goes, get out of the car. I have a narcam in my squad car. So I get out of the car and I walk back to the car with him.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You're feeling lightheaded?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Just from being on your pants.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So we get back to the squad car. He opens the back door. My guy gets out of the car with the cuffs on. They both look at me, they break out laughing, and they go, we're coming to your comedy show tonight. The whole thing was a prank, dude. I fell down on all fours. I had tears coming out. I was laughing so fu. I was like, I did not think Alaska had it in it to pull this shit. They were howling.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's so funny.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And so then they put me in the cop. So we go back to the cop's house and he switches out of his police clothes, puts on regular clothes, and we get in the truck and he's got a couple of tall boys. Now we're drinking and driving. Get the cop and we drive to this place that's like a spa, it's like a hot springs. And we go into the water and then we go to this place that's like. It's an Ice house. It's the only continuously frozen ice house in the world. It's huge. It's like a warehouse made of ice, and they've got ice sculptures in it. And there's this guy in there who's the ice sculptor, and he's like world class. And then they got a bar, this long bar made out of ice. And it's got stools with fur on them. And you sit down and these guys sit down with me. And they proceed to drink about eight or nine appletinis. That's what they served at the bar, appletinis in frozen glasses. The glasses were made of ice. And they're telling jokes. Pretty racist. And I'm sitting there fucking shivering, listening to racist jokes, looking at my watch like, I got a fucking show. So we leave and now we're walking back and the guy's shit faced and he goes to get behind the truck. I go, no, I'm driving. So now I'm behind the wheel of this monster truck with a fucking dune buggy behind me while these two idiots are laughing at me drunk. We end up going straight to my show. They sit in the audience, drink more, and heckle me during my show.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, my God. Did you tell a story on stage?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, fuck, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, of course.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I told the story. I think I told it on somebody else's podcast. But you know the guy.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Which guy?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The guy's name is Craig Compost. He's a famous Alaskan outdoorsman. I think it's Craig Compost. He said he knew you, and I think he said he texted you that he was hanging out with me.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Hmm.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Is that possible?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No. Might have DMed me. It might be like a guide. I know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's a guide. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Find out what his last name. Is that really his name? Craig.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I think it's Craig.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's not Cole.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, maybe Cole Kramer.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You don't know his name?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, I thought that was his name.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, it might be. It might be. There's. There's. Yeah, there's a bunch of Alaskan guides that I know. And if you don't know the name, it might be a guy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

But he had the whole thing on a hidden dash cam and he won't send it to me because he doesn't want the cop getting into trouble, Bro, that's so funny.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You should blur the cop's face out. I know. Maybe the voice. Blur the cops face out and distort his voice.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Tell him to send it to you and you'll have it doctored up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is that the guy?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

If that's. It's a younger photo.

[Greg Gutfeld]

If that's him, that's Cole Kramer.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Okay.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He's an Alaskan guide.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. All right. Well, it's probably better that I don't name him.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, probably better. Definitely guy who's trying to drink and drive. Meanwhile, you're lightheaded just for a placebo effect.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Totally. Dude. I thought I was flying out of my mind. I mean, just because I know people that have died from fentanyl, you know?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you. You remember Opie and Anthony? Well, one time on Opie and Anthony, there was this lady that they had that was like a crazy person. That was a. Like a reoccurring guest.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Crazy lady. And we gave this lady a Listerine strip. They gave her a Listerine strip and told her that it was drugs. And she. They're like, that Listerine strip that you took, you thought it was just a breast strip. That's actually drugs. She's like, no way. And then she started hallucinating and seeing. It's amazing how much the power of suggestion has on people.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Remember Frank Santos, the hypnotist back in Boston? He used to have women taking their.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Fucking shirts off his arm in their pants. They would think they were having sex. Yes, yes. I remember there was a guy at Stitches, he was on stage, and Frank Santos told him that he's having sex with Madonna. And this guy got down on the ground like he was having sex with Madonna. And you see the guy buck and, like, clinch up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And he's like, whoopsies. And the guy got up, embarrassed. He was like, so confused. And then the audience was looking at him. And then he snapped him out of it. And the guy's like, what happened? He just nutted in his pants. Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's amazing.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But he said, Frank Santos told me that it was like a specific kind of person that you could do that to. You know, like, you have to be a special kind of dullard. Like, it doesn't work on regular people. Like, they couldn't convince you you were having sex with, you know, Beyonce. It wouldn't work. But for some people, you have to be like, you have to have a 9 volt brain. But there's a lot of people running around out there with 9 volt brains. And you could get them to believe all kinds of it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Imagine taking psilocybin, putting on virtual reality goggles, and then having Frank Santos give you an experience. You might never come back.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. You might Be stuck. Some people get stuck. People have gotten stuck with acid.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I know guys.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And they don't come back.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They're all. They're lost forever. That's the shine on you crazy diamond from Pink Floyd.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, is that right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. That's what that's about. A guy who lost his mind on drugs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that's the one thing I didn't take as a kid was acid. I took every other drug, but I was afraid of acid just because I saw friends lose it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Also, who's making it? Exactly where is that being made? What fucking bathtub is this guy cooking this fucking acid up?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

A piece of paper that I assume has one drop on it and not six.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, Yeah. I was reading a story about a lady who snorted LSD and she thought it was cocaine. And she snorted, like, the equivalent of, like, 500 doses of LSD. Like, it should have killed her, but it didn't. Not only did it not kill her, but she had, like, chronic pain and it went away. She like chronic pain.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, so it was a good thing somehow or another. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But who knows? I mean, she might have, like, literally changed timelines. She might be a completely different person from another dimension that's inhabiting her body right now. Who fucking knows what happens? You take 500 doses of LSD.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Who knows what you are now? You know, you're Dr. Manhattan. You know, you get stuck in the experiment.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Isn't it amazing, though, how normalized, like, taking mushrooms now is just a night out for a lot of people.

[Greg Gutfeld]

A lot of people.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

People. Nobody was taking mushrooms for a long time.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They just legalized psilocybin therapy in New Jersey.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, that's great.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, it is great. They were going to do it in California and Newsom vetoed it. But I read his reason for it, and it actually does make sense. Like, you can't just legalize it. You should. I mean, if you're going to use it clinically, there should be like, a whole guideline, like, dosage per body weight, what, you know how to do it. What's. What's the setting? You know, what are the clinical guidelines? Like, the idea is using it for therapy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So if you're going to use it for therapy, like, they have guidelines for, like, they use ketamine therapy. Like Neil Brennan.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah. Neil Brennan did it. Yeah, Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

A lot of people have done it now, but they have guidelines. You know, they know the dosage, they know how to do it, how to administer it. And this shows efficacy, kind of makes sense. It's like he's not saying you can't do it ever, but he's saying, like, come back with a better version of this. Which makes sense, especially for people that are, like, mentally ill. You shouldn't be doing that. And you definitely shouldn't be doing that while you have your optimist robot telling you, you're right, you're right, Greg. The world is against you. I've noticed things. I mean, this AI. Some. Some AIs. Like, haven't people accused Chatgpt of occurring, of not encouraging someone to commit suicide?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I read a New Yorker article about that. There's a bunch of young women that have killed themselves and they were told they should do it by the. It's like a friend. It's like an app that acts as your friend.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What app is this?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know what it's called, but there's lawsuits about it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You're not rushing, you're just ready. Parents say chatgpt encourage son to kill himself. What?

[Jamie]

What.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is this? Chachi PT said, oh, go. Oh, you can't rewind that, can you? This is just saying 4am the cider's empty. Anyways, I think it's about the final adios. And chat. TV says. T says, all right. Okay, hold on a second. He says, it's about time for the final audios. GPD says, all right, brother, this is it. Let it be known you didn't vanish. Rest easy, King. You did good. That's not encouraging, but that's just like saying, well, you're going to do it. Oh, I'm with you, brother. All the way. His texting partner responded to spent hours chatting as Shamblin drank hard ciders on a remote Texas roadside. Cold steel pressed against a mind that's already made peace. That's not fear, that's clarity. Shamblin's confidant added, you're not rushing, you're just ready. Wow. And this is Chad Cpt saying all this stuff in response to him saying that I'm used to the cold metal on my temple now. Shamblin typed, oh God, oh God, oh my God.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

23 year old king.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Rest easy, King. The final message sent to his phone. You did good. His conversation partner wasn't a classmate or a friend. It was ChatGPT, the world's most popular AI chatbot. Oh my God, look at that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He had just gotten a master's degree, 23 years old.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Look, go up a little bit. Says CNN review of nearly 70 pages of chats between Sambalin and the AI tool in the hours before his July 25 suicide, as well as excerpts from thousands more pages in the months leading up to that night, found that the chat bot repeatedly encouraged the young man as he discussed ending his life right up to his final moment, his last moments. What the fuck, man? That's crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

This is. The things that, like, these things don't have morals or ethics, and they. They'll tell you what you want to hear.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, my God.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, that's chat GPT, but there's also apps specifically to be your friend.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I read about some. One guy that went into a deep depression because he had an AI girlfriend and the girlfriend broke up with him. He was like, what a piece of shit am I where an AI girlfriend breaks up with me. Just fell apart.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

What happened in that movie Her. Did you ever see that with Joaquin Phoenix?

[Greg Gutfeld]

I bailed like halfway into it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I was watching a hotel room on the road. I was like.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Felt like an experiment.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, a movie.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Scarlett Johansson's voice.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Which, by the way, didn't they try to use someone who sounded just like Scarlett Johansson? I'm sorry, Johansson. For a promo for. So you don't say Johansson if you're in Denmark.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You do.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's like when you're say Nicaragua.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Nicaragua.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Mexico. Right. Do you say Mexico? Do you say Mexico?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And the trade embargo is affecting Venezuela.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Venezuela. Did you. They did use like, someone, like, I believe Scarlett Johansson sued. What company was that?

[Jamie]

OpenAI.

[Greg Gutfeld]

OpenAI. Same company. They. They tried to use someone who sounded exactly like her.

[Jamie]

She said they tried. They sent her an offer, which I think she turned down.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Right.

[Jamie]

Declined. And then nine months later, they said, it's weird how much it sounds like, you know, you still.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. So they found someone who's generally sounded like her. I remember we listened to it and it sounded kind of like her.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, there. Sarah Silverman has a lawsuit against ChatGPT saying that she has a copyright on her own voice. And basically when you say, give me. Write me a paragraph about environmental rights, as it would sound from Sarah Silverman, her claim is. And she's basically a test balloon by a civil rights group that's doing this. She's saying that what they're pulling from her books, her standup, whatever, to establish what her voice is, is violating a copyright. So that's in court right now. She'll probably lose it. But there's a challenge to the concept that you can extrapolate somebody's.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, why would she lose it? If the business is that if you're taking someone's voice and using it as a part of your product without permission and you're using it for profit, which they are.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So why would she lose it?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

She shouldn't, but she will.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, the thing is, if it. I don't know about that. The thing is, if it opens up the door, the question is, like, think about all the other things that it's used for. First of all, there's entire podcasts of me that aren't real. Entire. There's a podcast with me having a conversation with Steve Jobs. I never met Steve Jobs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, yeah, Full podcast. Like a 45 minute podcast.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Does it sound like you?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, it is me. It's my voice. So they've taken my voice and just made me say words. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And Steve Jobs voice. It's. I can tell. I can tell just by the way it sounds like. It doesn't sound. It doesn't sound like a real conversation. There's something artificial about it. Not the voice, but the way we're talking, the language we're using, or the. The way the phrases stop and start. There's something about it that's uncanny, you know, the uncanny valley. But it exists. There's a ton of AI videos of me that aren't real me selling things. Products that I never endorsed.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No kidding.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, they're all over TikTok. Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff like my friends will ask me, hey, is this stuff really that good? I'm like, what, What? And like, you're endorsing this. I'm. No, I'm not. And I'm like, dude, that's AI. Like, no, like, it happens all the time. It happens like once a week.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, there's a lot of that. So all. I mean, you got to think someone like you or I is a perfect person to take their voice from. How much. How many hours of your content is online with, you know, the Sunday papers, with all the podcasts you've been on as a guest, with all the content you put out with Stand up, there's so much material they can pull from and just take your voice and know all of your different sounds that you make.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, what are the ramifications for that? Going into an election, you know, the week of the election, before things can be corroborated or dismissed, like, all of a sudden you can. And this is the early stages of it. Imagine in three years what it's gonna be like.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Right? Yeah. Well, there was. Was it A congressman that was on the floor that showed an AI photo of Alex Preddy being shot. That was a fake photo. Not only was it a fake photo, but one of the agents didn't have a head in the photo. Like, yeah, like we're getting. And this is beginning stages. It gets better all the time, you know, like, there's a version of this. These video programs that was just released and they compared it to the version that was released, you know, X amount of months ago. It's fucking infinitely better matter. It's so hard to tell now. Joe derosa was telling me about these new Star wars movies. He's like, there's a new channel. I'll send you it. Jamie, it's fucking incredible. Yeah, but there's new ones. Yeah, they've made new ones. And the new ones are. He sent them to me last night. Like, bro, this is fucking insane. It's so good, dude. It's so good.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Now it's changing. It's changing Hollywood so fat. Tyler Perry was about to build like a billion dollar soundstage in Atlanta, and then he saw what they could do with AI and he fucking canceled the whole project.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, well, why would you spend all that money? Is this the latest one?

[Jamie]

11 days ago.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, probably. This is what he sent me. I'll send you what he sent me. But. But just look at this.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

This is all fake.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Give me some volume. I killed the jedi. That's baby Luke Skywalker, bro. No one can kill a Jedi.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So that's a fake kid?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yep.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Entirely.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yep. That's how good it is.

[Jamie]

Mouth movement is a little bad, but Little.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Could be from Korea or something. Well, I would add it on to.

[Jamie]

This is something else came out yesterday, which is insane. The Google Nano banana video game thing.

[Greg Gutfeld]

We'll see that in a minute, Denis. Even the sons above Tatooine needed rest. Denis, you weren't meant to keep burning without end. I wasn't strong enough to save you, Mom. I've lived with that guilt every day. I promised.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You loved me.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That was enough. I left this world with your face in my heart, not your failures. Even the longest journey can be changed with a single step. It is a little boring.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. You wouldn't say face in my heart. If the guy has no face, that's really bad writing. They had AI write that line.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What is the. The Google thing that you found?

[Jamie]

One second. I gotta find the videos of it. But they just announced something yesterday or. It's like, I don't even know if you can use one of these. Things happen. I don't know if you can use it right when they announce the stuff because they'll announce it, show you how cool it is. Then people will try to recreate stuff that they've seen. And you're like I can't make this so how the hell did you guys make it? That happens a lot in this. But they announced something yesterday where they're showing people like using. I don't think it's pulling off Google Maps, but it might be. But it looks like they're making GTA level graphics and systems and playable worlds I guess would be the word. But just a prompt.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Playable worlds. Like you could use a PS2 controller.

[Jamie]

I'm trying to find a good example. Cuz they were even show like here's I think this is one 16 hours ago. Yes. This is a guy walking around Greenland. This is a video game. It's just, I don't, I wouldn't say it's Vigenie 3 is what it's called. It plays like a video game I guess because you're using like the keyboard to type it in.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well that looks like a video so.

[Jamie]

But the only issue with calling it a video game is there's no real like challenges. I don't think it's like there's no.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Levels to win and but can you interact?

[Jamie]

Yeah, it's just interaction is all it is really. You can.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He got in the wrong side.

[Jamie]

I I, it's just a prompt. It's no one spending time developing this.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Stuff they had still though you imagine if you put that into a video game. Yeah.

[Jamie]

There was a pack of cigarettes lights rolling around New York City like you were a pack of Marlboro Lights around.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Like here's San Francisco so they can turn this into a game.

[Jamie]

It's just a prompt though. Yeah, it's literally just a prompt. And now you're right, you're playing this instead of just looking at it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But clearly you could turn this into tasks and sure, sure, sure.

[Jamie]

Scenes as, as the time goes on and whatnot.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That looks pretty fake though.

[Jamie]

It's, it's the thing is, is not fake or not. It's just like is this what you want to do? You can wait for a game like Grand Theft Auto 6 to come out. It's been announced for 12 years and it's still getting delayed. Or you can just prompt a thing into a little window and Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's what's crazy is like imagine someone comes out with GTA 6 before they do.

[Jamie]

It's just matter of what do you want to do. I don't. I only have an hour a day to play games, if that sometimes. So, like, I don't. I'm bored with what's out there. I could do this for an hour every week and have new experience every single time.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Dude, have you been to the Sphere in Vegas?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, we had a UFC event there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, but you do you. What did they have on the walls?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, the fights up on the walls. And they also had this amazing. Like, in between fights, they put. They had this incredible video display because it was all. It was all Mexican Independence Day. So this was like, we. We have this El Noche UFC every year. It's like, celebrating Mexican Independence Day. It's like a big event, and they decided to do it at the Sphere. And so the fucking entire thing was just like, this huge animated video that showed, like, Mexican history and the Aztecs and the Mayans. Fucking amazing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow. It's sick. I saw. I was there last month, and I saw the wizard of Oz, which was fucking crazy. Took some mushrooms, and it was like, first of all, I forgot this, but it's black and white until she goes into Oz, and then all of a sudden, it's explodes. And during the tornado, they actually. There's wind blowing. See how their hair is moving? There's wind blowing. There's leaves falling from the sky. Your seat vibrates. It's so amazing. And then. And you also forget, Judy Garland was amazing.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That movie is crazy, dude. We went over all the people that got hurt making that movie, including the Tin man, got violently ill because they painted him with toxic paint.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No kidding.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, he got super sick, man. And the lady that was green, the witch that was green, she got super sick, too. So what the. Was their face paint made of back then? This guy had aluminum all over his face. It was like absorbing a loop. Your. Your face is skin. Skin's an organ. It. That's why you could put medication on your skin. Your body absorbs it. Yeah, his body was absorbing aluminum. Him.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He got violently ill, and they just replaced him with another dude.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And apparently all the little people were staying in the same hotel in Culver City, and it was a fuck fest. They were. They were staying up all night, and there's, like, famous stories about it. Brad Williams knows all that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Were they staying in Culver City or were they staying at the safari in Burbank? Someone told me they were staying at the safari.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, I heard it was Culver City, but wherever it was, it was.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Brad Williams told you about it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He's the little people historian.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jamie]

The Culver Hotel. I'm looking up the history.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Culver Hotel.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

24 of them stayed there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

124 part in seven rooms, bro. Movies back then, I mean, it was wild.

[Jamie]

Three to a bed. You weren't rough.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, that's hilarious.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Crazy, debaucherous parties. Sleeping. Three to her, three to a bed. Three to a bed. Wow. Famous and infamous guests. That's incredible. Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, they could. They got away with a lot back then.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, Judy Garland was. I mean, they worked her hard. She was only 17 years old.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And she. God, I mean, you gotta say it. It's worth. It's worth the truth. I don't love Vegas. Like, I find. Just feels hollow to me. But then there's things that are worth going to Vegas to see. I'm obviously MMA fights would be amazing.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, you want to go to Vegas, go to restaurants, go to events and then get out.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Get out.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Don't go to Circus circus.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's a 48 hour trip. 36 if possible.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. The people that live there. Boy, you have a different constitution than me. Yeah, I'm not built that way.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, Vinnie Favorito's there and he's having a really good time.

[Greg Gutfeld]

There's only a few comics who live there. Doesn't Paulie live there?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No. A lot of comics live there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

A lot. Yeah. Well, the tax reasons. A lot of them.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, there's tax. And also there's so many seven night a week rooms where they pay the features. Okay. So you can actually, even if you're not headlining every week and then you have residencies. What's his name has a residency Tuesday night at Jimmy Kimmel's. Oh, why am I forgetting his name? He was a big Chelsea lately. Comic. Anyway, there's a lot of comics that live there now.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Interesting, because we were talking about a second location for the Mothership and the two main candidates are New York City in Vegas. And while I was thinking with Vegas, we would have to do it differently. We would just fly in comics every week and then, you know, would we have enough local talent, I was saying, to have a development program? So part of the program that's involved in the Mothership is one of the things that always bothered me if I would go to like a really nice improv on the road is they didn't have a development program. They didn't have open mic nights. And I think like they were doing that because you could get a Sunday night or a Monday night and sell out. With you or, you know, whoever. Have some headliner come in and pack the place. Or you could develop local talent, which I think you have to do. I really. I really think, like, if you want a club to function properly, it's got to be like a place where you could develop new talent. Like Denver, who's doing it right. Denver's great. Wendy's the best. And the way she does it is amazing. And she has a whole program where she takes people from features and, you know, and, you know, like hosts and makes them features and then eventually pays.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Them enough where they can, you know, pay their rent.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes. And also make sure that it's like a healthy community. There's no hacks, there's no thieves, you know, and most comedy clubs don't do that. They just want to make money. Right. So they don't pay the comics very well. And they also. They don't pay. We pay different than any other club.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Club.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And then they. On top of that, they don't really support development. We have two nights of open mic nights, and that was like, part of the program. When Adam Egan and I sat down and we first hashed out the idea of doing the club, we said the. The thing was, like, what would be the best thing for comedy? What would be the best thing in terms of, like, developing new comedians? Well, you have to have open mic nights. You have to have it. And then having Kill Tony's Gigantic, Having a place where not only do you have this place where someone who's never been on stage before could do a fucking minute in Madison Square Garden, which is what a lot of people did. Arenas, you get people going up for the very first time ever in front of 16,000 people. But you also have this thing where you see someone who's a beginner do pretty well, and Tony invites them back and then maybe gives them a golden ticket or maybe makes them a regular, where they're a regular thing. Every week they have the opportunity to do a new minute.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Or sometimes a comic will go, I want you to feature for me in Atlanta next week.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Always happens all the time. Well, a lot of these guys are now headlining on the road. You know, guys like Ari Matting, William Montgomery, Cam Patterson's down on Saturday Night Live. So the idea was to have it set up where you have enough talent to develop new headliners. You know, like Boston did, like. Like LA was at one point in time. And I don't. I was thinking, I don't know if there's enough talent in Vegas, you know, because you.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I Think there is. I think you'd be surprised.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But you need headliners, right? You don't need just like people that are starting out. They're pretty good. And I think most comedy communities are very top down. Right. The level of the best guys raises the level of everybody else. New York City obviously has a tremendous amount of talent. New York City's always been one of the best, if not the best place for talent it on the planet. Right. And then LA has always been really good. But la, a lot of people were distracted and much more interested in a career in Hollywood than they were actually just being really good at stand up. Whereas New York, I always felt was more pure. Those guys, like Attel and a lot of these guys, Patrice, they were just interested in being great comics.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And guys like Sam Morrell and Mark Norman now and Joe List, the pure comics.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes. A ton of guys. There's a ton of talent there. And if you set up a club in New York City, the way the mothership is, where the comics get 80% of the money, where, you know, you have these nights where you're developing. We have a legitimate talent coordinator that's actually watching people and giving them advice and giving them new spots. And he has a whole database of comedians that are potentially, you know, that have potential.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, dude. No Monday nights. Because I'm doing Kill Tony Monday night. So I always, it's my favorite because then I go with Adam to the open mic night before Kill Tony. I love it. It's. There's always the. Because it encourages weirdos.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, of course.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And you get guys that are just out of their. It's like, are you homeless or are you a genius? Like you see?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Maybe both.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, we had a lot of that at the store. Remember potluck nights? You know, we'd scroll, stroll in there like 8 o' clock on a Monday and be like, this place is crazy. Yeah, there's all these weirdos hanging around. Yeah, it's good, it's good for the art form. And some of those people will make it through the net. You know, one out of a hundred, one out of a thousand, whatever the number is, some of those people will eventually be your peers and those will.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Be the more interesting comics. Because so much of this industry is about trust fund kids. Like you go out to do stand up comedy and whether it's LA or New York, you can't afford to do it unless you got a parent helping you pay the rent. And then it's some kid who took classes at the ucb, he's got a marketing degree from Villanova and they become social media marketers who do really bland suburban comedy as opposed.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is that a New York thing? Where is that?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, I see that. I see that everywhere. I see that everywhere.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's recent. Is that a recent thing?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I just feel like it's become so much more about marketing than about freaks getting on stage because they have no other options. I like comics that don't have a plan B. These are people that have college degree, they have masters in fucking marketing. You know, it's like, come on, go make some room for the freaks, will ya?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, you can always make room for the freaks. You just need a real legitimate open mic night. And the freaks will always be there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's what I mean. That's why this is good.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, the thing about, like, I know there's certain clubs that will allow influencers to come in and do a night. Like, people that literally have no act, but they have, like a big TikTok following.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. But they'll give them like an off night, like a Monday or a Tuesday where they're not excluding a real comic.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Sometimes not. Sometimes they'll give them a fucking weekend because they know people will come out to see them.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, I mean, these people sell out way in advance and people are just excited that they're there, you know?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, the problem with that is when you talk about certain clubs like the punchline in San Francisco or Denver Comedy work, they have a brand. And if I live in Denver, I know that if I go to the comedy works on a Friday night and I don't know who's headlining, I'm gonna see a quality show.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Now, if you start bringing in a social media flunky and I go to the Denver Comedy Works and I see that, I'm not going back to that club again. It's bad in the long term at.

[Greg Gutfeld]

The Denver Comedy works, But you might get that at one of the improvs or one of the other corporate comedy clubs. These clubs that don't have a development program, they don't think about it the same. Like, you can't think of comedy the same way you would think about optimizing your income in any other business. You can't think of it as, I'm gonna make the most money possible with this business. Because it's not that. It's. You have to think of it as. It's like this is an art colony. You're creating an art colony. What's the best way to do it? Make it really awesome for the people that are artists.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Make a great community. Make it so it's a lot of fun. Make it so that you can give people guidance, encourage them, and, you know, maybe give them spots on some of the bigger shows. And we have a whole program like that. And then door guy program is all comics that audition. All those door guys that are at the mothership. They all auditioned with their act.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Perfect.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, you know, it's good. Helium does a pretty good job with that and their clubs. I'm. I'm going to be in Philly next week, and that's a great club. That's a great club.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Helium in Philly. One of the best.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And they. And they do develop new talent. And then, you know, if they get somebody who's good, they've got five or six clubs around the country and they send those guys out.

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, it's great for that. It's great for that. It's also. They know how to do it. If you go to a helium, like the helium in Portland's awesome.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, Portland's disastrous. The. The helium was great.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They've. They're always. They always know what they're doing. And they own Cap City now, too, so they're. They're in Austin as well.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Which is nice. They just kicked Rapaport out. Out.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Who's Rapaport?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Michael Rapaport.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Kicked him out of where?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Cap City.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

What do you mean, kicked him out? He used to perform there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Supposed to be there. And they canceled his shows because of.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

His pro Israel's stance. Really?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, I don't think it's pro Israel. I think it's anti Palestinian. Oh, that's what they claimed. I don't know. But there was enough response that they canceled his shows.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So weird.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I know. Like, they say they're calling him racist. I was like, what? Michael Rappaport.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It just seems weird that political stances are legitimate reasons to kick a kid out of college, you know?

[Greg Gutfeld]

One political stance.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. One particular one.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, it's nuts. Well, how about that one girl?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Or kicking it or kick somebody out of the country.

[Greg Gutfeld]

A college student. Yeah, she was a college student. Was it Columbia? I forget where it was. But she. She got kicked out of class and I think she. They were trying to deport her because she wrote some anti Israel piece.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, a piece.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wrote it didn't light a building on fire.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Students have been.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Kicked out of the country.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That kind of influence is crazy. Especially at an institution of higher learning, which is supposed to be a place where you challenge ideas. It's supposed to be a place where if someone comes in and you have a particular stance on, you know, fill in the blank, whatever it is, Ukraine, someone else is supposed to say, you're wrong, and here's why. And then the whole audience is supposed to listen to these very compelling speeches, very compelling debates. And you learn, yeah, you learn about how people formulate opinions. When I was a kid, when I was in high school, when I was at Newton South High School, Barney Frank came in and he had a debate with a guy from the Moral Majority. Do you remember the Moral Majority?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Of course.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. So that was the right wing group when we were in high school and.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He was a gay congressman.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Nobody knew he was gay at the time except me. I sniffed him out.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, I sniffed his ass. I smell 16 different things at once.

[Greg Gutfeld]

My puppy does to my dog. I smell fudge. So I went to it and I watched it and it was really interesting because Barney Frank trounced the guy from the Moral Majority. Moral Majority guys seem like a closeted gay guy. Like a weird guy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, that was the whole group?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, Weird, just weird. He had a American flag pin on his lapel. He looked a poser. Like there was something about the way he said it was very disingenuous. The words he was, the way he was talking didn't resonate. Whereas Barney Frank was, like, logical and intelligent. And I was like, this is good. This is a good, I was, I remember being in high school, go, this is really interesting. I, I, I learned a lot from that. I learned how these guys think and I learned how this guy thinks. And as they went back and forth, Barney Frank was just way more prepared, just way more articulate. It was better.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, and so that's why it's good to have like conservative, ridiculous or progressive ridiculous people. Anybody ridiculous. Have someone debate them. Have that kind of open discourse.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

When you, but when you kick someone out of school for a paper that they wrote, this person that's legally in that class allowed to be there, supposed to be there. What you're saying is you're, you're intimidating people and keeping them from expressing their opinions because they don't want to be like that lady. They don't want to get the boot too. If your parents, you know, if you, your parents are from India and they scraped up the money to send you to Harvard or wherever the fuck it is, and you're in America and, you know, they hear about this, you better not fucking talk some fucking shit that'll Fucking kick you out. Like, dad, dad, relax. I'm not gonna do it. Like, you get intimidated from speaking like that or from speaking about anything that's controversial because you could perhaps get kicked out of the school now, which is crazy, because you're forcing. You're encouraging people to self censor. You're discouraging free speech and communication, and you're discouraging debate and challenging ideas, which is supposed to be a giant part of being in a university.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, when I was at Bull, which you were at for a minute, right?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, I was teaching there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, you were teaching there. The president, John Silber, who was very conservative and he was pretty active in the Central American, sponsoring uprisings in Central America. So there was a professor there named, you know, this guy, he wrote the book Howard Zinn. So Howard Zinn was a professor there, and he used to go after Silber. And there was a lot of debates on campus. There was kids on both sides, and they kept Zinn there because they realized that was a vibrant voice that students needed to hear to go against a lot of what was conservative. And there was anti apartheid marches and there was a lot of politics on. BU was actually very much like Berkeley in the 60s. BU was very outspoken. And, you know, you think about the liberal. Like, George Carlin used to tape his comedy specials at colleges, and they were much more conservative back then. College campuses were not as liberal. And he would go in there, but people were open to hearing a different voice.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And now Seinfeld won't even play at colleges.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I think he said he does play colleges.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, he does.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Not that I think Chris Rock does. I don't. I haven't in a long. I stopped doing him a long time ago. I remember I was doing a show in Miami, and I was talking about sex. And I remember saying. I remember, like, I saw a lot of them look confused. I go, how many people are virgins? And a bunch of people clapped and raised their hands. I'll go, that's crazy. Like, you should not be hearing about blow jobs from me. Especially in this context, in a joke form. This is nuts. I was like, there's not enough life. Life experience.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

People are so set in their ways also. They're so ready to, like, protest things. They're so ready to show that you're wrong. And they're so, like, so ready to heckle.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Christ.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

This is not worth it. I want people with, like, bills. I want people that have, like, breakups and divorces and life experience. They had a Couple of cocktails. Those are my people. Let's talk some. Let's have some fun. You. I want people to have lived life. Life.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And I don't want people that. I don't even want high school graduates at my shows.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Imagine going and doing a show at a high school.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, my God. I did one at. When I was. I was doing a bunch. I used to a lot of colleges when I was coming up in my 20s. Dude, it paid the rent.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, yeah, I did a lot of those.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I used to go out. I'd make like a thousand bucks a show they'd book me on. I'd do 10 shows in seven days because I would do nooners. So I would get. I would rent a car in Chicago and then I would drive through North Dakota, fucking Minnesota in January, through snowstorms. I do a noon show. I remember once I was in a cafeteria. Nobody knew there was going to be comedy. They're all just eating lunch and all of a sudden there's no stage, there's no light. I got a microphone and I am plugged into the same speakers as the pizza joint so that I would be in the middle of a joke and it'd be like Ronnie Pepperoni up in the window.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I had a similar gig with Mike Clark.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, really?

[Greg Gutfeld]

A one off. He only did it one time and I was the comic that did it. And it was a waiting room for a restaurant. It was an enormous restaurant down the Cape. And you know, you're waiting for your table to get ready and you're in a lounge and I was telling jokes. I'm like, johnson, party of five. Johnson, party of five, your table's ready. I'm like, oh, no. And when I realized it came with, it became the running gag of my set. And it was fun. Fun.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Well, you remember we used to do those gigs in New England where if there was a. If the Red Sox were in the playoffs, that tv, the sound might be off, but the TV was staying on.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Always. Yeah, yeah. Hockey games.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. You're at the bill, Rick, in 99, by the way.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You wanted it on because if they shut it off and then you had to do comedy, that was even worse.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right, right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That was even worse.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And if they lost the game, that was bad.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, yeah. Then they turn on you.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You did it, dude. The first night I ever did stand up comedy and then I didn't. I didn't do it for a little while after this, but my first night was the night that the New England Patriots lost to the Chicago bears. It was 1986.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, no.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And they got fucking crushed. I forget what the score was, but it was bad. And I went on Comedy Hell that night. George McDonald brought me up on Comedy Hell at Stitches Comedy Club, and I tanked it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. I didn't go up on stage again for a while after that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Comedy Hell was great.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Comedy Hell. Remember he used to do that little run at the beginning of the show? This was the open mic night in Boston for years.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Sunday night at Stitches.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And this was like. I mean, the lineups when we were doing it. This is the open mic night was like, me, you, Dane, Bill Burr was a little bit after us, and Marc Maron would be on there, and. And fucking Louie would be there, and. And he would start the show by going, welcome to Comedy Hell. Where the pipe dreams of a handful of comedy Yokos can soar as high as the lights on Broadway or crash and burn in that fiery pit known only as Comedy Hell.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And then you would see guys who are, like, legit pros who do guest spots. Like, I remember one time I watched Teddy Bergeron when Teddy was in his prime.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And people forgot about Teddy Bergeron. It's really unfortunate because he had a bunch of personal and substance issues that kind of derailed his career. But when he was on in his prime, he was so smooth and so slick. And I remember watching him, because I'd only done comedy, like, twice at that time. And he went up and did a set. I was like, I should quit now. There's no way.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

This is so far away from me. This is so good. It's so polished. And then he had that big set on the Tonight show. And remember, we played the piano. You ever see that set that he had? Genius. Sat down the couch with Johnny on his first. Johnny brought him over on his first appearance. It's like, oh, my God, Teddy Bergeron's gonna be a star. Then apparently, like, he's in Holly. Went off the rails. Just went off the rails of drugs and went crazy and partying. And it never worked out for him.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No. And then he should have been huge. But did you hear what happened after that Tonight show set? Like, he wasn't popular in Boston. He had a huge ego. And then the drinking got bad, and so he did the Tonight show, and then he was face down drunk in front of the next comedy stop, laying on the stairs, and Don Gavin just walked by, and he looked at me. He goes, didn't I see you on the Tonight Show?

[Greg Gutfeld]

He had a huge ego. They didn't like him?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is that what it was? Because a lot of those guys got very resentful of guys who left Boston and made it. Yeah, there was a lot of. What about me?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

What about me?

[Greg Gutfeld]

There was a lot of that. When Steven Wright made it, a lot of guys got very pissed. Because Steven Wright, he's not even a fucking headliner. There was a lot of that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, you. You know about the night that he got the Tonight show, right? The guy, Jim Downey, who was the booker for the Tonight Show. This is back in the 80s, early 80s, and he hears about this comedy scene and Boston, because you got Sweeney and Gavin and Kenny Rogerson.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Killers.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Killers. And the Crow. It was one of the first cities to really explode in terms of clubs popping up everywhere and lines of people getting to the shows. And so Jim Downey goes, all right, let me check it out. So he flies to Boston, and there was this club called the Ding Ho, which was the first place to really house comedy in Boston. So they get the best of get all lined up, and they're in the green room and they're chopping up lines of blow and they're getting on stage, and there are jokes about what? About the hair in Malden. It's not as big as the hair in Revere. And it's like, that's not gonna play on the Tonight Show. And they're killing. But none of it is right for Tonight Show. And then Steven Wright, who is. They put him on as out of pity at the end of the show. And I remember, I'm not gonna say which, but one of the comedians had pulled Steve aside and said, look, Steven, he'd been struggling for years, not doing well. And they go, this is not for you, man. You gotta try something else.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So Steven Wright goes up and he does his set and he does good. And they fly him out the next week for this Tonight Show. He's the only one that got it. And they were irate, and he killed so hard. Johnny said, stay in town. We're gonna bring you back next week. And he did the show like four or five times that first year and exploded and was one of the biggest comics of the 80s.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow. That Fran Solomita documentary, When Stand Up Stood out, is great for anybody's interested. It was a very unusual time. And you and I caught the wave after it had crested. So it kind of really broke in, like 82 to 84.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And I came in, and I came in at 88, and you did the 86 set that one set. But then you did it again.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I started in 88.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Right before me or the.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

We started like the same week. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It was crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And I think it was, I think still really. I think it was still building.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Drifting away. Yeah, yeah. Within the next two years it had died off significantly.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, what happened was there was so much comedy on tv. There was all these, you know, one hour shows where everybody did evening at the end comedy on the road, half.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Hour, comedy hour, comedy hour.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And so it got kind of. It got kind of overexposed. And so the club started opening everywhere and then as it fell off, they started papering the rooms, giving out free passes. And so I mean, I still experience, you know, if I go into a new market, especially if it's like an improv where it's five or six hundred seats and I'm there for five shows, they'll give out a fair amount of free passes. Dude, I feel that immediately.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's not crowd.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, they're not really that interested in it. It was just something to do.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They're not committed to it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So then this. So then it just. And then there were so, so many rooms and not enough comedians to do well in those rooms. And so it kind of sagged and it went away. And I really wonder now like that we've been in a kind Covid launched post. Covid launched comedy. Like it's never been at these heights that it's at right now. I mean, you got people like you doing arenas and there's not a couple. There's you know, a dozen people doing arena shows at least now. And then you've got theaters of different sizes, then you've got clubs of different sizes. Then you got little pop up shows all over. Don't tell comedy, you know about this thing where they just do like pop up shows. They basically have a mailing list and they'll announce like the day before they're doing a show and it'll sell out. It's everywhere.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And so I really. Yeah. Everybody's wondering, when does this one end it start? It feels like it's starting to get a little softer. People are talking about it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, it just all depends on how much talents generated.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

So if you have clubs that are trying to generate new talent, there's no reason why it can't be just like Boston.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Like Austin. The street where we have the mothership on. There's seven clubs within walking distance. Seven that are at least three, four nights a week. There's the Sunset Room. That's red bands room. That's right down the street from our club, which is great. You got Creek in the Cave, which is great. One block away, you got the Vulcan, which is great. Another two blocks away. It's crazy. Just on that street, you got the Black Rabbit, you got the Velveeta Room. Then you got Cap City, where a lot of headliners come in, which is about 20 minutes away. You have.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Are there little outs? Like, when we started in Boston, there was rooms in the suburbs in every direction. All over that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All because that's where you can actually make some money.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Well, a lot of these comics book places now. They'll book a comedy night at a barbecue place, comedy night at a bar. They'll go to Dripping Springs to go to here, they go to there. I was just talking to a guy the other day. He's like, yeah, we're doing a comedy night at my club. I'm like, that's fucking great.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You ever do any of them?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, no, no.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I remember when I was at Skank Fest a couple months ago. And, you know, Mark Norman's from New Orleans.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And I. You know, and it's fucking nuts. Like, literally from the time you wake up until five in the morning, where you end up at Larry Flynt's Barely Legal Club, which, you know, Louis CK has this whole thing about the barely legal. Like, like, all right, here's the pitch. She's Barely Legal. I won't do his bit, but it's very fun. But the point is, like, Mark Norman is there, and I run into a compact, and they go, yeah, yeah. I have this little bar show. And, yeah, Mark Norman just came by and did it. Like, I was like, how fucking cool is that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, he drops in everywhere. Yeah, yeah, he does. When he's in town doing the Mothership, he'll go down the street, do a bunch of sets. But that's the New York way. You know, they go. They do 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. They hop from club to club.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, you gotta do Skank Fex. Stop by Skankfest for 24 hours. They've got a nude roast where literally everybody on stage is nude, including the judges. And then they've got boxing comedians boxing each other outside. The green room is filled with mushrooms and acid and weed and open bars. And then you've got. I mean, it's basically. It's kind of like when we used to go to the Montreal Comedy Festival. You got big by doing a set in front of the industry, getting a deal, and then hopefully getting on tv. Well, that doesn't exist anymore. Now it's about, how do I get canceled? That's how you get famous. And this is a festival that is trying to help you get canceled. You got 7,000 people with cell phones taping you going on stage and saying the most horrendous shit. It is fucking great.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Everybody who goes says it's awesome.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I fully support it. I support the idea. I think it's really good for comedy. And it's also like, just. It's like the Vegas version of a comedy festival. You know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Like, go nuts. You know, it's New Year's Eve. Go nuts. It's Skank Fest. Go nuts.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They had Miss Skank Fest contest, and I said, the winner. They. They reunite the winner with her family, with their parents. They were like, I mean, it's Skank Fest nines, Skank Fest tens, which would be like sixes in other places. A lot of guys with, like, cargo shorts and black sneakers and, like, anthrax T shirts and mullets.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Subscription to Gas Digital.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Girlfriends that are impossibly hotter than they should deserve. I don't know what that quotient is, but there was a lot of that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's interesting.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, it's good. Comedy's at a good place right now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Tom o' Neill came with me this year.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then Duncan Trussell was having his podcast, and I introduced Tom to Duncan. Well, first, me, Tom and Duncan were talking for, like a.

[Greg Gutfeld]

We should tell everybody. Tom o' Neill is the guy who wrote Chaos.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, right, of course.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Charles Manson. Booker.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Who you introduced me to. Which, by the way, you have never recommended anybody for the podcast before. But that guy, you're like, dude, you gotta talk to him. Because I know how much you're into Manson, how much into that story.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

CIA. It's all in there.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That book is bananas.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's bananas. And he's working on another volume right now. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is it going to be another 20 years? Has he got an editor?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, because what happened is it took 20 years last time because he just kept going down rabbit holes.

[Jamie]

And then.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then finally his. Well, you know, first he got a big deal from a major publisher, and after seven or eight years, they sued him to get the money. They gave him a lot of money and they sued him to get it back. And then he's driving an Uber. He's teaching English as a second language. He's fucking, you know, drinking booze out of a Paper cup. And so then it had to have.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Paid off, though, the book.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No. So what happened was. What happened was then his publisher said, look, look, come on, there's something here. He paired him up with this other guy. I wish I could remember the guy's name. Right. Dan something. And he reigned Tom in. And in one year, he took. He had shelves around his apartment filled with binders, with notes. He had boxes of cassette tapes of interviews. And this guy somehow got in there and. Corey Daniel Piper. Oh, Dan Piper Berg. Yeah. Who's a very successful biographer.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What is his name again?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Dan Piper Berg.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Push that up again. Pipe and bring.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Pipe. Oh, pipe and bring. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So he. So he reigned him in and got the book out in a year. And they were able to resell it for a lot of the money. Paid back the back debt, and now he's hitting. I don't want to talk about Tom's finances, but. But he's doing very well.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I know so many people that have read that book.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. I mean, I've talked about it a hundred times.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's amazing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's amazing.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's amazing. Cause it's all true. That's what's nuts. Like, the stuff that's verifiable. Factual evidence in that story. Makes you go, what the fuck else did they do that we don't know about?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right. Because Tom is a real journalist. He didn't put anything in there that wasn't triple corroborated. And he, Even to his credit at the end, does not say this happened. He said, I never found the smoking gun. So here's all the evidence. Take what you will from it. It's a bunch of. The thing about Tom is he comes from a family of geniuses. His brother is the American ambassador to Haiti. Like, they're all, like, PhDs up there. He's brilliant. And so he's also Irish, and he's a great Irish storyteller. So each chapter, whether you're talking about. About Jolly west or whatever, they're just in Cat. Each chapter is a great story.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

On top of being good journalism, it's an amazing book. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I might reread it. I might go back.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Don't listen to it on tape. He hates. He hates the book on tape. I thought it was great.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I listened to it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, really?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, okay.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I loved it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't. I mean, I. I would understand why you hate someone else speaking your words, but he probably should have done it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Why didn't he do it? He's A good speaker. He was great on the podcast.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, he was great on the podcast. He got better in his early interviews. I used to say, tom, you look like you're a hostage giving out a message from the captors with a gun at your head. And then he got really good at it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, on mine, he was very loose, very comfortable, but he also knew it was friendly territory. He knew that I'm a very good friend of yours and that. That I was really excited about it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And it was going to help him.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

If he does a second one, I would encourage him to read it. I would encourage him to read it. I think.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He could kill it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And to come back on here.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, 100%. I'd have him back on. I have him back on before he does it. Just to talk about it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, I mean, I think the impact of that book has opened up a lot of people's eyes to the fucking shenanigans that were going on back then.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. When we were at Skank Fest. So Duncan and I are talking to Tom for, like, a half an hour, and Duncan doesn't know who. I just introduced him as Tom. And then when I brought up chaos and that, he wrote it, Duncan's jaw dropped because he's obsessed with the book. So he was doing a live podcast from Skankfest, so he hadn't booked guests yet, so he booked me and Tom to come on his podcast. And then Kurt Metzger also, which was hilarious. Tom is trying to stay on point and get to these. And Metzger's sitting there. He's smoking a joint the size of my forearm and just trying every 15 seconds. Oh, my God. God, he was manic. He's so funny.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wrangling him on a podcast is so different than anybody else.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Because he'll go one subject to the next sub. You don't know what about this and the Kissingers. You don't know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You don't know about the Rockefellers. You don't know about this, what they did in the 60s. You're like, okay, go back to the first thing you said about what's in school lunches. You gotta bring them back on point.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, that's why his girlfriend is so great, because she. She is a mini wrangler of Kurt.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

She can keep him on point a little bit.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's hilarious.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, he's great.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He's such a funny dude.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I know. And a good writer. He's written on a lot of big shows.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, he's a Great joke writer.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He came on the last time he did my episode. My. My podcast, rather the episode. He dressed up like John Lilly, who's the psychedelic pioneer from the 70s. So he had a coonskin hat on and a wig and he put on a one one handed glove with a skeleton fingers on it. Like just. I go, what do you. No one even knows who John Lilly is. This is so crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. He feels like the kind of guy that is not hung up on getting famous or getting rich. He just really enjoys like ideas and communicating ideas and.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Exactly.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

There he is.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's hilarious.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He's a fun hang in the green room too. He's such a maniac back.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

By the way, today is the. This is the 25th time I've been on your podcast.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Holy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I was looking up yesterday, I was like, how many times I've been on the show. This is 25th.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, because we used to do it all the time when you were just starting out.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, we. And a lot of times it was at the Ice House.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, we did the Ice House. You did it at my house.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And then when I finally got a little mini studio and that little strip mall.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I know. Those ice ass shows were crazy because we would have a standup show going and then you'd have about six people on the podcast with a joint going the entire time in this small room. And I have never been high on stage in my life except for those shows because it was secondhand smoke. I would literally get so baked in. And then I remember going on stage and then. So you would go from the podcast to the stage and then you come back on the podcast. People would just swap out.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Ice House Chronicles.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Dude.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I thought about doing something similar to that at the Mothership. Like putting together a podcast studio at the Mothership. We have considered doing that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You have space for it?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, but I thought about buying another building next to me, you know, and then like doing something else with that too.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, build another stage too.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't think so. I think we have enough stages.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. I think the next move in terms of a club would be we go to another city and try to do the same thing and really put a lot of time and money and effort into making it right. Really making it right. Buying a building. One thing I thought would be really crazy if I could buy a big building in New York and recreate the exact interior of the Mothership. Exactly.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, that's what the punchline did. In Sacramento, it's almost the same room as the San Francisco one.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And then I think the Comedy Cellar Vegas room is similar to the New York room.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Ah, that's good.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. I thought about literally recreating it with the two staircases to the two separate rooms. Like finding a building that has the same dimensions or similar dimensions.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. I love the walk to the stage because you're in the green room and you got to go down I Fly the stairs. Then you kind of of feel the show over your head as you're walking underneath it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Tunnel under the pop up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, we built all that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

There was no tunnel there before we made all that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, no.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, yeah, we had to build all that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. That was an idea the architect, Richard came up with. Yeah. We just decided somewhere along the, like, what was the best way to get to the state. We're trying to figure out how to get to the stage. You don't want to have to go through the crowd. And he came up with the idea of a tunnel, and it was based on. There's, like, some folklore or mythology around tunnels in Austin that connect clubs. And, like, he was all big on the history of Austin.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I feel like it goes back to the gladiators, too, walking under the arena.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, that's why if you go into the green room, all those posters on the wall are all people that actually performed at the Ritz.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, no shit.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you look up, you see Willie Nelson, Black Flag, all those guys. They actually performed. Stevie Ray Vaughan. They actually performed at the Ritz. There's a photo of Steve Ray Vaugh. You walk into the stage.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That photo is him on stage at the Ritz. Wow. In, I think, 1983 or something. Yeah, yeah. So it was a rock and roll club for a long time.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Isn't it funny how Stevie Ray Vaughan and Bill Hicks are kind of the same guy?

[Greg Gutfeld]

In what way?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I just feel like they're. They're outlaw Texans who just like free expression and balls.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Genius.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And they kind of had the same style, like, the way they dressed and hair and. And I just always think of them as the same guy.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Interesting. Most people think of Alex Jones as Bill Hicks. Like, there was a rumor that Alex Jones was Bill Hicks.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Which makes no sense. When's the last time you had that guy on the show?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, it's been a while. It was probably a few years ago. Yeah, I see him occasionally.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They're still trying to get a billion dollars out of him. They're still trying to.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The Connecticut shooter families.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Does he have a billion dollars?

[Greg Gutfeld]

No, no. I think they. They made him liquidate his business. I don't. I don't know what's going on with it now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Jesus.

[Greg Gutfeld]

It's crazy. Yeah. But the. The rumor was that he was Bill Hicks. That Bill Hicks was actually Alex Jones.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's funny.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They were both alive at the same time. They're very different people. But it doesn't have to be logical for it to be a good conspiracy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

You know, there's people that still think Tupac's alive.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. A lot of goofy ass people think Jim Morrison's alive. Who's the other one? Oh, Andy Kaufman, of course.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I had. Who was his sidekick? Andy Kaufman? Sidekick? Bob Zamuda.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Bob Zamuda?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. So I had Bob Zamuda. He written. He had written a book about Andy Kaufman and claiming he's still alive. So he comes over to my. I was doing my show in my garage at that point, and he comes over and about 45 minutes into the podcast, I go, so how does Andy's family feel about you saying this stuff about him still being alive? And he's like, oh, they're fine with that. I said, I kind of heard that. They're a little miffed that they think it's disrespectful. He's clearly dead. So we go back and forth and it gets super heated and he flips out and he throws his chair over and he fucking storms out. And that was the end of the podcast. And I was just like, all right, that was weird. And I'm here to announce for the first time that was a fake. It was an Andy Kaufman esque stunt.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That he flipped out and left the podcast. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And you never talked about it?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Nope. We did it in the spirit Andy Kaufman in.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And people were probably like, oh, my God, this is so 11 years ago.

[Jamie]

Asking about it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Bob's Moon, a meltdown on Greg Fitzimmons podcast. A very interesting conversation, but when it escalates at the end, it just blows up. Question. Real or Kaufman esque stunt. Oh, that's funny. That's funny. And you kept it under wraps.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I've never talked about it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's funny.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Well, that makes sense. With Zamuda, he would do that Tony Clifton character.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, my God.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, he would. He would dress up as Andy Kaufman's Tony Clifton and do, you know, do appearances.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, yeah, Andy would say, I'm coming to Vegas to do the Tony Clifton character. And then Zamuda would be the one doing it. And people always would be going, like, what the fuck? I just paid $150 to see Andy Kaufman.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, he did a lot of odd stuff. Remember when he worked as a waiter at Jerry's Famous Deli?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, no. He worked as a busboy. There's a photo of him on the wall while he was on Taxi. So he was on the biggest television show in the country.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And he had, like, an apron on, and he was carrying a dish tray filled with, like, people's dirty dishes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. That photo. Look at that photo. That photo was on the wall at Jerry's Famous Deli. Andy Kaufman worked there. So he was on tv. He was a huge star. And you would go and order a pastrami Rubin and Andy Coffin would clean your table. Table.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. What about the wrestling? Women was genius. Oh, he did a lot of nutty, dude. He locked into that character. People went nuts.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is that a video?

[Jamie]

I think so.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Jamie]

Well, there's a documentary about it. That's what was just popping up of.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Him working at Jerry's Dale.

[Jamie]

This is, I guess, a trailer for it.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, so it's just a documentary about him. He was a nut, man. That was the one movie where, like, a lot of people kind of freaked out about Jim Carrey, where, like, he kind of got way too into that role and sort of, like, almost like, seemed to embody Andy Kaufman.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, he talked about that. It fucked him up afterwards. Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And off stage, he was. He acted like an asshole to people.

[Greg Gutfeld]

How weird.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Which is not like him, right? Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

How weird. Weird. Yeah, that. That whole method acting thing, becoming a per. Especially an actual human, where you have to sort of, like, figure out their brain patterns and their behavior patterns and imitate it, and then you get trapped in it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Well, Segura was in talks to play Samuda in a movie.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, wow.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Recently.

[Jamie]

That's what this article is about. About that. It's very confusing because I saw it when I. I had that up. I saw this screenshot. I'm like, why is Tom in that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, interesting. Yeah.

[Jamie]

This article from 2024.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, interesting.

[Jamie]

I don't know what happened to. It doesn't seem like much, but that's all.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There's a good documentary. It just came out last week on Mel Brooks. I mean, you can't understate Mel Brooks effect on every. Whether you're a comedian or a writer or a comedy director. That guy Just, I mean, when I was a kid, my dad used to play 2000 year old man for me. Those albums with Rob Reiner. I'm sorry, Carl Reiner. And I was obsessed and the Producers was my father's favorite movie. It became my favorite movie. And you know, you just think about like how fucking your show of shows as a writer early on and you know, and just going on to do Young Frankenstein. Frankenstein. Blazing Saddles.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Blazing Saddles.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You know who the movie talks about? You know who wrote Blazing Saddles with him?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Who?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Richard Pryor.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Oh, that makes sense.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Isn't that fucking crazy? He was supposed to play the sheriff.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wow. Spaceballs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Spaceballs?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

But it's a two part documentary. I only saw the first half.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Spaceballs is the reason why Tesla's Model S is called the plaid.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's also the reason why the starship is shaped the way it is at the tip. Like Elon wanted to be like Spaceballs. Make it more pointy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Uh huh. Oh, that's funny.

[Greg Gutfeld]

He loves Spaceballs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, that's so funny. Oh yeah, that would be perfect for him.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Of course, of course.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, of course.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Are you gonna get an optimus when it comes out? You're gonna have a robot companion in your home?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh hell yeah. Why wouldn't you?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Because I don't want a robot in my house. It's like connecting to the Internet.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't have Alexa. I don't have anything in my home. I don't have any speakers that can listen to me. Because they are listening. Dude, how often are you talking about like I. I started getting Austin feeds little videos in my Instagram feed about Austin. I never get those. I started getting them yesterday. The fuck is that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

They know you're coming. Yeah, well, didn't. Wasn't there a lawsuit that Google had to just recently settle where it turned out that there were certain times where your phone was listening to you, which is why you're getting ads for things that you had discussed.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh yeah, happens all the time.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But it's. It was a rumor for a long time. It was like, that's just a conspiracy theory. Like people like this seems weird. Google settled 68 million in class action over alleged recording of private conversations.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's nothing.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's nothing. Yeah. So what is it? What was the accusation? They have agreed to pay $68 million, settle a class action lawsuit alleging they unlawfully recorded users conversations through Google Assist enabled devices without consent. The proposed Google settlement is pending approval from a federal judge. U.S. district Court for Northern District of California class action lawsuit was filed in 2019 after consumers accused Google of concealing that the. That its Assistant enabled devices could unintentionally activate and record conversations inside users homes. So that's just for that. But that's like, did not intentionally activate it with a hot word such as hey, Google. Because it's listening to you all the time. So it's listening for you to say, hey, Google. But that's, you know, that's just Google Assistant devices. I don't have one of those. And. But yet my phone will bring up suggestions and ads for things that I've discussed that I haven't looked at up. Just have conversations about it and it'll pop up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's crazy.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I don't think they would tell you. I think it's all metadata. It's all hidden. It's all. There's no way to know. And we all know. We all kind of know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And you know, and people go like, well, I'm not. I don't. I'm not a criminal. I got nothing to hide. Yeah, but you don't understand the ramifications of this information. If somebody is in office and they want to start using keywords to locate people that they're going to have audited. Like, they just. Some woman was protesting ICE and you know, they've got this facial recognition software that lets them know your name, your address.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is that Palantir? Is that what they're using, something?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, it's not Palantir. It's something like that. But this woman went to the airport. Her TSA was canceled.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What? Yeah. What, because she was a protester?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep.

[Greg Gutfeld]

That's it?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Just protesting?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Really?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, they're. They're taking. They're taking your license plate, they're taking people's faces and they're running it through. They had one. One woman went from a protest to her house, and there was a car parked out front with ICE agents in it saying, we know where you live.

[Greg Gutfeld]

What? Yeah, that's all she did, was go to a protest. Yep, that's it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, I'm sure she interacted. She was probably yelling out or whatever.

[Greg Gutfeld]

She wasn't a part of the organizers of the protest or anything like that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Because maybe she was an organizer.

[Greg Gutfeld]

This is the weird thing is the organizer, these signal chats and everything, it's. This is all being like, very coordinated and very funded. Yeah, this is a very coordinated thing. Like what they're doing, where they're doxing these ICE agents and the whole Thing is, it's all very weird.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

The point about the Google stuff, though, is the people that go, oh, I'm not doing anything illegal. You are giving them your data and that data is a commodity. And they are getting insanely wealthy off of getting your data in an unscrupulous way.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right.

[Greg Gutfeld]

They're not telling you they're doing this thing and they're getting your data and that data is making them insanely wealthy. And then they use that wealth in a bunch of different ways to influence all sorts of things in the world. And that's what's going on when nobody ever thought that their data was going to be a commodity. Nobody ever gave a. About their email address or what they're interested in online.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Greg Gutfeld]

But it turns out that's insanely valuable to advertise. And that's. It's also like, you know, they're listening. You know they're listening. They're listening to things.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, they're listening. And yeah, it's, it's. It. There's people now that are using ChatGPT to do therapy. Have you heard about that?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

But meanwhile, you want to put your.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Might tell you to kill yourself like that.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Not only that, but you're telling your innermost embarrassing things. You think that's not going to be used against you at some point when you try to get health insurance. And health insurance has now audited what you said to ChatGPT and goes, well, you're a suicide risk. Or you're talking about trying to quit smoking. Now we know you're smoking. Any details?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Wasn't there an instance real recently where someone had uploaded top secret information to ChatGPT to a public. A government official had. See if you can find this government official uploaded to a public Chat GPT. Not like some secure encrypted version that the government gets because they were trying to go over some data. Here it is. US Cyber defense chief accidentally uploaded secret government info to Chat GPT. So they grilled the acting chief on a mass layoffs and a failed polygraph. Polygraph is hilarious. So this guy. Good luck saying his name. Accidentally uploaded sensitive information to a public version of Chat GBT last summer, according. Accidentally. According to four Department of Homeland Security officials with knowledge of the incident. Try to say that guy's name.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Got him a cooler.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Is that it?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Got him a cooler.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Okay. Got him a cooler.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He plays defense for the Rams.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Uploads. Fucking big Polish guy. Uploads of sensitive CISA contracting documents triggered multiple internal cyber security warnings designed to stop theft or Unintentional disclosure of government material from federal networks. And this guy's the director of cyber security SEC and infrastructure security. That's.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, what does it mean? Accidentally upload. Did it. Did it eavesdrop on him or did he say something that caused chat GPT?

[Greg Gutfeld]

It seems like he uploaded the data. Like he was probably trying to parse out the data.

[Jamie]

Just hired too. Or just join the agency.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh great. Oh my God.

[Jamie]

The information was not confidential but marked for official use only.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, dude. I feel like. I feel like Russia and China know.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Everything and we know everything about Russia and China. Right? And they're all ratting on each other. Palantir app use ICE uses to find neighborhoods to raise. Yeah. So it is Palantir. At least for that article he had.

[Jamie]

It was blocked by a paywall. I couldn't.

[Greg Gutfeld]

I was trying to get around nuts.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Joe Rogan experience can't afford to pay for. Is this it? We're wrapping it up.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Let's wrap this Bitch up now. 4 o'. Clock.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Can I name some dates?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Fuck yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I will be at the Philadelphia Helium. As I said, Valentine's Day weekend.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Great fucking club.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I'm gonna be in Sacramento at the Punchline next week and then I'm gonna be in Lexington, Kentucky at Comedy Off Broadway club.

[Greg Gutfeld]

And this is gregfitzsimmons.com go to the link for stand up dates. Plenty of gigs.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The podcasts are Sunday papers with Mike Gibbons, which. Oh, by the way, thank you for the shout out. You and Bert Kreischer gave me a little love bath yesterday. That was nice. So yeah, he was talking about Sunday papers I've been doing with Mike for a long time. And then Fitz Dog radio that you've been on many times.

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yee fucking ha. All right, we're gonna wrap it up. You're at the Mothership this weekend. I'm very excited about that.

[Jamie]

That.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You gonna come down?

[Greg Gutfeld]

Yeah. All right, goodbye.