#595 - Nick DiPaolo

Summary

The Joe Rogan Experience #595 – Nick DiPaolo

Date: January 6, 2015
Host: Joe Rogan | Guest: Nick DiPaolo
Also Present: Brian Redban (producer/co-host)

---

Episode Theme & Overview

This episode is a classic, freewheeling Joe Rogan Experience conversation, featuring comedian Nick DiPaolo. The two old friends reconnect to talk about comedy, aging, clubs, the ever-changing world of stand-up, politics, social justice, drugs, marriage, wild animals, and more. The vibe is nostalgic, irreverent, and deeply inside the world of stand-up comedy, punctuated by personal anecdotes, gripes about society, and riffs about the absurdities of modern life and show business.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Aging, Reading Glasses, and Getting Older

• They start with jokes about needing reading glasses and how age is catching up to them.
• Nick: “I was in the restaurant. I have the waitress holding the menu… she's 11 feet from my table so I can read.” (01:41)
• Short banter on how computer screens don’t help eyesight, and the struggles of reading in dim light.

2. Nick’s Return to New York & Career History

• Nick recounts leaving LA after a mental spiral, right as Chris Rock called him to write for Rock’s HBO show.
• Anecdotes about working together on "NewsRadio", and an almost mishap with casting.
• Joe: “Nick played my brother on NewsRadio... Agent tried to fuck him... we had already booked him for the part...” (04:08)

3. Hollywood and Showbiz Stories

• Dissecting what happens to TV actors after the limelight fades.
• Reminiscing about "Welcome Back, Kotter" cast members and the harshness of Hollywood.
• Joe: “Some of those guys that get a really good gig… and after that it dies, those guys never recover.” (07:29)

4. Gambling and Comedy Circles

• Discussion of comedian gamblers: Artie Lange and Norm Macdonald, high stakes, addictive personalities.
• Norm’s mythic gambling exploits, e.g., winning $60,000 and throwing it in the ocean “because he knew he was going to piss it away anyway.” (11:52)

5. Caffeine: Stand-Up Material and Sensitivity

• Nick does a live bit from his album “Another Senseless Killing” about being hyper-sensitive to caffeine.
• Nick (on caffeine): “For me, it’s like bath salts... I’ll chew your fucking face off and leave you in the street. I go to Dunkin' Donuts, and an hour later I’m naked in my driveway wrestling three cops tasering my balls.” (14:31)

6. Comedy Club Culture vs. Theaters

• Insight into why small, low-ceiling comedy clubs are the best venues for real stand-up energy.
• Large theaters can lose nuance: “He would get a big laugh and then he would have a tagline. Nobody could hear the tagline… Too many people laughing, the sound just didn’t penetrate.” (19:01)

7. Drugs: Pot, DMT, and Onstage Experiences

• Joe’s journey from minimal pot use to becoming an advocate, describing its effects:
  • “Sex feels so much better when you’re high... any kind of weed makes you hypersensitive.” (31:16)
• Nick’s paranoia after weed in New York: “My number comes up, the lady just stared at me and I ran out the door.” (32:31)
• DMT and altered states, Joe’s advocacy for the safe, mind-expanding use of psychedelics.

8. Hunting, Nature, and Wild Animals

• Joe talks about hunting (moose and bear), difference between firearms drunk vs. sober, responsibilities and ethics.
• Extended bit on how powerful and scary bears and coyotes are, and survival tales.

9. Masculinity, Aging, and Testosterone

• Comparing the physiques of modern athletes to past generations.
• Discussion of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), staying in shape, and Stallone at age 68.
• “Aging is fucking terrible… It gets you, no matter what you do.” (56:28)

10. Marriage, Divorce, and Alimony

• Both share war stories (theirs and friends') on the financial and emotional costs of divorce, alimony laws in California, and pitfalls of the marriage system.
• “I have friends that have gone through some absolutely brutal divorces… the marriage system is about selling diamonds and distributing assets.” (66:00)

11. Social Commentary: Gender, Trans Athletes, PC Culture

• The Fallon Fox / trans MMA fighter controversy. Joe vents about receiving backlash for criticizing male-to-female trans athletes in women’s sports (see [45:01]-[50:15]).
• “There’s this guy who got a sex change and then started fighting women in MMA. I was like, get the fuck out of here… All these people were calling me a transphobe.” (45:01)
• Extended debate on gender, sports, and differences in physical ability.

12. Political Correctness & the Changing Comedy Scene

• Both bemoan the hypersensitivity of modern audiences, especially at colleges.
• “Even Chris Rock said… he did a whole article how it’s not even fun anymore, the kids are so PC.” (90:34)
• Nick says he stopped doing colleges in 1991 due to censorship and backlash for edgy jokes.

13. Race, Cops, and Social Justice

• Frank talk about New York politics, policing, De Blasio, and race-baiting.
• Both have skepticism for activist Al Sharpton and discuss the lack of modern respected civil rights leadership.
• Joe: “Al Sharpton is a race pimp… the idea that that guy is respected at all!” (154:08)

14. Drugs, Coke, and the Jon Jones News

• Live reaction to breaking news: UFC champion Jon Jones entering rehab for testing positive for cocaine metabolites (121:17+).
• “How about the fact that he was partying, doing blow, and he still beat the best guy on the planet?” (129:25)

15. Comedy Memories, Stand-Up Legends, and the Boston Scene

• Many personal stories about Boston legends, the Stand Up Stood Out era, Steven Wright, and Mitch Hedberg.
• Nick reveals he unknowingly inspired a Hedberg bit by banging on the wall due to loud singalongs.

16. Nick’s Podcast and Closing

• Nick explains his own podcast is solo: “I'll do stuff in the news and just ramble. It's a good exercise for radio.” (170:22)
• Plugs: Nick’s album "Another Senseless Killing," available at nickdip.com.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Caffeine Sensitivity:
  “It’s like bath salts for me. I’ll chew your fucking face off and leave you in the street.” – Nick DiPaolo (14:31)

• On Norm Macdonald Throwing Away Gambling Winnings:
  “He won 60 grand one night and he...threw all the money in the ocean because he knew he was going to piss it away anyway.” – Joe Rogan, relaying a story from Artie Lange (11:52)

• On Modern Comedy Audiences:
  “Even Chris Rock said... it’s not even fun anymore. The kids are so PC and get bent.” – Nick DiPaolo (90:40)

• On Trans Women in MMA:
  “I fully support you changing your sex... but if you beat the shit out of my sister, I’m probably going to come after you.” – Joe Rogan (49:37)

• On Marriage & Divorce:
  “The marriage system... is about selling diamonds... and then distribution of assets.” – Joe Rogan (66:00)

---

Useful Timestamps

• Caffeine Comedy Bit ("Another Senseless Killing" excerpt): 14:31–17:06
• Discussion on club vs. theater stand-up: 17:15–21:17
• Pot/Drug Stories and Effects: 28:04–34:52
• Trans athletes/MMA controversy and backlash: 45:01–51:13
• Stand-up legends, Boston scene, Nick inspires Hedberg bit: 95:10–96:46
• Jon Jones cocaine test breaking news & live analysis: 121:17–130:43
• Comedy & political correctness at colleges: 90:34–93:08
• Marriage, alimony, and legal pitfalls: 66:00–70:03

---

Episode Tone & Content

The conversation is loose, candid, often provocative, and very much in the idiom of old-school comics—expect strong opinions, dark anecdotes, in-group references, and plenty of blue humor. Rogan and DiPaolo often push against PC norms, riff on controversial social and political issues, and share stories not just for laughs, but as snapshots of the changing landscape of culture and stand-up comedy.

---

Closing Thoughts

This episode is recommended for stand-up fans, those curious about the backstage realities of comedy, or anyone interested in a raw, unfiltered take on media, politics, and modern life from two veteran comics. DiPaolo’s signature biting wit and Rogan’s broad curiosity make for a blend of irreverence, insight, and genuine camaraderie.

---

Find Nick DiPaolo at:

• NickDip.com
• Twitter: @NickDiPaolo

Highlighted Work:

• Album: Another Senseless Killing

---

“Thanks for having me on. Please, my pleasure.” – Nick DiPaolo (171:12–171:35)

Transcript

[Joe Rogan]

Foreign.

[Brian Redban]

Experience Train by day Joe Rogan Podcast

[Joe Rogan]

by night all day this episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. When you want to train your dog, you don't want just any rando off the streets who likes animals. You want someone with the skills to get your pet where you want them to be. Someone who can help you help them. So why wouldn't you do the same when it comes to hiring for your business? Skill based hiring is the thing to do right now and a good way to go about that is ZipRecruiter, especially since you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com ZipRecruiter can help you find the perfect match for your role. Their smart matching technology works fast to find candidates, while screening questions help ensure you find quality talent with the skills you're looking for. It's it even has filters you can use to see who's been recently active on the site. Let ZipRecruiter help you find amazing candidates with the skills you seek. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And now you can try it for [e-mail] Rogan that's ziprecruiter.com Rogan Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. This episode is brought to you by Netflix. I loved Peaky Blinders. It is one of my absolute favorite shows of all time. I binge watched the entire season, all the seasons. So when I found out that Netflix was dropping a Peaky Blinders film, I was very excited. Tommy Shelby, played by the Academy Award winning Killian Murphy, of course, must face his own demons and choose whether to confront his legacy or burn it to the ground. It's gritty, it's grimy, it's got that epic gangster edge we've been hooked on for six seasons. Trust me, you won't want to miss this. Peaky Blinders the Immortal man is in select theaters March 6 and on Netflix March 20. Rated R. Nicholas, me boy, Joey boy. We've known each other for many decades and now we're both wear reading glasses. Look at this, ladies and gentlemen. Old men we can't see up close. So sad.

[Nick DePaulo]

Did you notice when you came in, I ripped mine off like you were abroad.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm like, oh, it's like one of

[Nick DePaulo]

those things I got to see if

[Joe Rogan]

someone calls, you know, and you're sleeping. You always lie about it. Yeah, it's like, what do you need those? No, I don't, don't need those? I only those for numbers.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'm in the restaurant. I have the waitress holding the menu. She's 11. 11ft from my table. So I can read.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, in low light conditions. Unless I have my camera on my. My phone with the flashlight, you know, so I can use. I could read it if I have my. But otherwise, I don't know what the fuck the bill is.

[Brian Redban]

You need to step up to bifocals so you can wear them all day long.

[Joe Rogan]

No, because I don't need them. Past, like, my arm's le. It's.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. My friend Steve Graham explained it to me. He's an ophthalmologist. I guess when you get older, your. Your eyes just lose their ability to focus up close and then. This doesn't help. Computers don't.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, it's the worst. Porn on your cell phone at 3 in the morning.

[Joe Rogan]

That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about work. I don't know what you're.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't know what you're talking.

[Joe Rogan]

Nick Depaulo. How dare you.

[Nick DePaulo]

Apparently you're doing a lot more than I am, Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

You went back to New York, huh?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

How long ago did you go back?

[Nick DePaulo]

I was out here. Oh, Christ. I was out here from 95 to 99.

[Joe Rogan]

And you were like, enough.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, then Chris Rock called. Yeah, I had enough. I swear to God. This is a true story. I was in my own shower at my house, arguing with an imaginary fucking agent I didn't have. I'm not. I swear to God. My wife heard me. I was living on Doheny in this house we rented. And I'm like, I'm fucking losing my mind out here. And then like a bolt from God, Chris Rock called. He starting his HBO show, said, I want you to be one of the writers. And I was like, you got to be shitting me. I was on the fucking next plane out looking. Looking down at all the bridges I burned in la. You could see the fires from the plane.

[Joe Rogan]

Nick played my brother on news radio. Yes, there was. There was a. I want to say was a confusion, but it would be a lie. It was an agent tried to fuck him. A casting agent tried to fuck him over. We had already booked him for the part. And all of a sudden this casting agent goes, oh, I've already booked that. I've got, you know, this guy coming in. And I go, what are you talking about? I go, it's supposed to be Nick Depaulo. He's my friend. He's gonna be my brother. My other friend. Brian Cowell's my other brother. Like, it's already booked. She goes, well, I don't know what to do. You know, I've already got this guy booked, so you're gonna have to tell Nick. Oh, no, no, no. I go, you're gonna have to tell this fucking other guy. Because she had already called you and told you you didn't have.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right. She came out and said, you guys can go. Whatever.

[Joe Rogan]

She tried to weasel the casting. Female casting agents in many circumstances are a lot like male casting agents. You know the casting couch? The notorious casting couch.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes.

[Joe Rogan]

How bad do you want the part? And you know, well, this. This gal had male friends. And these male friends, apparently, she. She enjoyed their company, and so she would get them gigs, even if those gigs weren't really available. And that was what was going on. She was just gonna weasel this guy in.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. And I was walking to my car, and you came running out.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

And go, hey, hey, hey. I go, what? And then I felt bad. I'm like, now did I just. Somebody over? Because I know Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

No, you didn't. Anybody.

[Nick DePaulo]

You were already. Because I was a stellar.

[Joe Rogan]

You were outstanding. But you were approved and done. It was over. But she just tried to weasel it in. It was gross.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, what's that whore's name?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, no need to name names. And who it might not have been. She might have been on medication. Who knows what the fuck. That was a fun episode that we beat the shit out of each other through each other through windows.

[Nick DePaulo]

Three Stooges. And we did a scene. We actually did a scene that said was. It came across too violent. Joe and Brian in it. Remember, with the coffee. We had a glass coffee pot where I hit you over the head.

[Joe Rogan]

Smashed me over the head.

[Nick DePaulo]

And then we kicking Joe while he's down. And they said it looked too much. They actually said it looked too much. Like Goodfellas. Remember Da Narrow is kicking a guy?

[Joe Rogan]

Remember he had that. Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

So it was a glass. I got to break this thing over here, like, five times.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I got to fly through a glass window. You know, they have that candy glass, Someone flying through a window. It was fun, man. That was a fun episode.

[Nick DePaulo]

And you know who? Epstein from. From welcome Back. Carter.

[Joe Rogan]

Epstein from welcome Back. Carter was our oldest brother who's a priest that we were all terrified of.

[Nick DePaulo]

I think he's dead too, isn't he? Did he pass away?

[Joe Rogan]

No kidding.

[Nick DePaulo]

What was his name?

[Joe Rogan]

He's got steam from welcome Back, guys.

[Nick DePaulo]

Are probably born then.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I didn't know he died. Did he really die?

[Nick DePaulo]

Either that or I'm starting. Either that or I'm starting an ugly groomer right now. But I, I, I, I, I. Jesus died now you were hoping. Horseshit. Don't confuse your hopes. Oh, wait a minute. You know what? You're right.

[Joe Rogan]

Is it. Is it horseshack?

[Nick DePaulo]

And the black guy. I think they're all dead, actually, Gabe, Cos you know who else died? The wife died.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, he died in 2000.

[Nick DePaulo]

The wife died.

[Joe Rogan]

You were right. He died in 2012.

[Nick DePaulo]

He did.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Maybe it's from that episode. It was a lot of violence going,

[Joe Rogan]

wow, he looked like before he died. What the man. When we knew.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's him.

[Joe Rogan]

That's him.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's Robert Hedges.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. When we knew him, he actually looked pretty good.

[Nick DePaulo]

Looks like Candy Crowley from cnn.

[Joe Rogan]

Some of those guys that get a really good gig, like a welcome back Connor. And then after that it dies. Those guys never recover. It's like they're living the life. They're eating nice bagels from craft service, Everybody. Good morning, Mr. Hedges. How are you, sir? Can we get your coffee? Would you like something? And then this cruel machine just spits them out.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's a hard. And then you want. Oh, my.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

When did he turn into a Hawaiian woman? Before he died. What the. Who does he look like?

[Brian Redban]

Early from loss.

[Joe Rogan]

You know what happened? He probably went all spiritual. Look at all the necklaces and stuff. Stuff he's wearing. He probably went all spiritual. It's probably. It was all going downhill.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, maybe he had cancer or something.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, maybe. Now I feel bad. He was a dude, man.

[Nick DePaulo]

He was. And he. That. That was like a thrill to meet.

[Joe Rogan]

The guy died. Yeah, it was.

[Nick DePaulo]

We were kids when that show was.

[Joe Rogan]

You died of a heart attack, 60 years old.

[Nick DePaulo]

And I think I know the woman. The wife that played the wife in that show just died of cancer.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Kaplan's wife.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, in the show. She just died recently.

[Joe Rogan]

Meanwhile, John Travolta looking great. Sucking all over the planet.

[Nick DePaulo]

Apparently, that's how you get ripped.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, he definitely doesn't look ripped anymore.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, you're right. He's kind of. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Who looks the best from that? Well, him. He looks the best from that show.

[Nick DePaulo]

How about the black guy that played Washington?

[Joe Rogan]

Is he still around? Freddie Boom Boom Washington?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes. Google him.

[Joe Rogan]

We are dating well, but it's.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's kind of relevant because they're dead and we're getting close to it, but

[Joe Rogan]

nobody knows who they are anymore. That's what's fucked up.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, I know. Let's talk about.

[Joe Rogan]

Let's find the guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

They just did a lost reference and I've never seen the show.

[Joe Rogan]

You never saw lost?

[Nick DePaulo]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

This first. I don't like network table really good.

[Brian Redban]

I rewatched it. Joe, it's way better if you know what happened because now you're only focusing on what you're really supposed to be focusing on. Not the that makes you hate the show. But here's a picture of Freddy Boom. Boom.

[Joe Rogan]

Freddy Boom.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is he still alive?

[Joe Rogan]

Lawrence Hilton Jacobs is his name. Yeah. He looks good. Yeah, he's. He's the best looking guy at all of them now.

[Nick DePaulo]

And horseshack check out. I think you're right.

[Joe Rogan]

He seems Shock is dead.

[Nick DePaulo]

I think you're right.

[Joe Rogan]

I think Horshock's dead.

[Nick DePaulo]

Let's see that show's kind of jinx now that you think about.

[Joe Rogan]

Not really. It's just life.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, they're not that old.

[Joe Rogan]

Palillo.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's just. Let's true. It's his life.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. He died in 2012 too. Same year that Epstein died.

[Nick DePaulo]

And Gabe Cotta, who's a like degenerate gambler.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Is he a degenerate?

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, that's what I heard.

[Joe Rogan]

I know he's a poker player.

[Nick DePaulo]

Okay, maybe I was stretching the

[Joe Rogan]

kind of synonymous.

[Nick DePaulo]

A club owner told me that. Did you ever do the KJ Riddles in Orland Park, Illinois? A guy named Kenny ran.

[Joe Rogan]

No. No, never did.

[Nick DePaulo]

He used to have Gabe Carter in there. And Gabe Carter used to hate going to. Bringing his stuff to the airport, you know, luggage, he hate to check it. He used to mail it. Smell like freak. $300. Mailing is closed. Really? And he went. He. This guy took him out gambling at some casino. He was there the weekend before I was. And he. He won. Like, he won like. He said 750,000 betting on football. And I said, you mean 75? He goes, no, 750,000. This guy Kenny wouldn't lie either. But he. This guy, he was like. He's like heavy into it.

[Joe Rogan]

When you start getting to those big numbers, that's fucking dangerous because it can all go away like that.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, I'm at a pool, I put $5 on the beginning of the year, and I'm trying to beat my niece Jenna.

[Joe Rogan]

That's helping. That's helping. I mean, is it? Gambling is fun, don't get me wrong. But the thing about gambling is that like, you gotta keep pushing the stakes to keep upping that thrill.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right.

[Joe Rogan]

Juicing your veins.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Artie Lang used to.

[Joe Rogan]

He used to go hard.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh my God. He told me some of the number. And Norm.

[Joe Rogan]

Norm is the worst, right?

[Nick DePaulo]

Norm is. Oh my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Norm MacDonald is supposed to be like the worst of all time.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh my God. He's like just so bad. I couldn't get on his podcast this week

[Joe Rogan]

what kind of numbers.

[Nick DePaulo]

He. He, well, already told me story about Norm and he says it's absolutely true that he won. He won like 60 grand one night and he walked out. Where were they gambling? What the hell was. Wasn't Vegas? Because it was. There was an ocean nearby and he threw all the money in the ocean because he knew he was going to piss it away anyways.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that's what Artie told me.

[Joe Rogan]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't doubt that.

[Nick DePaulo]

I wouldn't either. You know Norm. Hey, it's only mine.

[Joe Rogan]

Legit crazy. We were, we were having a great time on a plane once and just randomly sat next to each other. Just total dumb luck. Had a great time, you know, three hour flight, laughing and cracking up and talking all kinds of. He's like, wow, I quit smoking a long time ago. I'm just. I'm so happy I quit smoking. And then as he lands, he goes, I want a cigarette. He walked right into the one of those duty free shops at the airport, bought cigarettes and is just couldn't had him in his hand as he was walking out the door and lighting him. Couldn't wait to get out the door to light him. I go, what happened to quitting cigarettes? He goes, I quit quitting. I just wanted a cigarette. But it was just like, it was so great. I mean, just an hour ago, talking about how much he's happy he quit cigarettes. He quit a long time ago. And then this switch goes off and he impulsively decides time to have a cigarette.

[Nick DePaulo]

I go to his hotel, and he's in New York a few years ago. Had a bunch of sets at night. It's like two in the morning. He tells me to come up to his hotel. He's drinking black coffee by the pot. He drank like two pots in front of me. And I can hear his stomach gurgling because he has some stomach problem, he says. And I can hear it making these sounds. And he's just two full pots. And it's like, what are you gonna do, stay up for three days? Nah, I'm immune to it. Yeah, it doesn't even bother me.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, some guys can just drink coffee. Like Tate. Tate can Drink coffee and go to sleep. My friend who owns Caveman Coffee.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. People become immune to this.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, you do. He drinks coffee and then he can pass out.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't. I'm like a little puss. I have a half a cup and I'm all over the place. Like a fucking meth addict.

[Joe Rogan]

It's one of those things. If you do it a lot, if you drink a lot of coffee, it sort of becomes normal. But if you. If you take a few months off a coffee and then you realize what a drug caffeine really is.

[Nick DePaulo]

I actually have a bit on my album. It was a good segue.

[Joe Rogan]

A new one.

[Nick DePaulo]

Nick dip. Yeah. @nickdip.com you can get it. By the way, what's the name of the album again? Another Senseless Killing.

[Joe Rogan]

Another sense is Killing.

[Nick DePaulo]

But I have a caffeine bit on there because I'm, like, hyper. I get like. I'm also allergic to it.

[Joe Rogan]

You're what?

[Nick DePaulo]

I'm almost, like, allergic to it. Yeah. I have a couple cup. No. I can't even, like, focus.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

So it's an unusual feeling that you get.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, I don't.

[Joe Rogan]

Has this always been the case?

[Nick DePaulo]

No, this is a recent thing. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It's like the eyes.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It's the liver.

[Nick DePaulo]

You know, it is Joe. The immune system. It can't even fight off caffeine.

[Joe Rogan]

Now we're going. We're going like horseshack.

[Nick DePaulo]

Can we play that or no? The caffeine clip.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's play it.

[Brian Redban]

Caffeine.

[Nick DePaulo]

There we go. It's a great setup. Negative guy have a caffeine problem. Just found that out. I like. I mean, I'm almost allergic to caffeine. I was laying in bed the other night thinking, how come I've been in, like, 12 fist fights before noontime over the last 20 years? I'm, like, hyper allergic. You guys have a couple cups of coffee, you get a little jittery. It's like bath salts for me. I'll chew your fucking face off and leave you in the street. I go to Dunkin Donuts, an hour later, I'm naked in my driveway wrestling three cops. Tasering my balls. What's he on, angel dust? No, I had a cappuccino with three sugars. Get back in your car. I'll fucking chew your nose up. But I get really nasty. As opposed to my natural state. I've had some of the worst fights with my wife when I was jacked up on coffee last January. True story. It's a Sunday morning. My wife comes down the stairs, she goes, my nieces and nephews are coming over. We're going to a petting zoo and you're coming with us. And I'm like, I've been following the Patriots for 16 weeks. Today's the first playoff game. But yeah, what better time to look at a goat laying his own shit up in the woods in Ossining. Cut to me like a half hour later, I'm in a barn looking at animals. I have like a pot of coffee in my gut. I'm crawling out of my skin. This guy next to me goes to me in the most condescending tone. He goes, that's a yak. I go, yeah, I know it's a fucking yak. There's a sign. But on the cage I know how to read, asshole. And then I realized he was talking to his four year old son on the other side of him. Is that not a classic caffeine? How do you get out of that one? I just stayed in the asshole role. Went to the next cage and there was a goat in there. I just looked at him. I went, let me guess, duck? What is that, a pigeon? Come on, Dr. Seuss, you know fucking everything. What is that, an alligator? I don't know anything. Right, asshole? Even his little kid was looking up at me like, who pissed in your Cheerios, mister? And I'm like, fuck you, you little pussy. I threw a pumpkin at him and my wife pushed me out of the barn.

[Joe Rogan]

But where'd you record this?

[Nick DePaulo]

Go ahead. There's one more, one more caffeine story. This was about a month and a half later. I'm at White Plains Airport sitting next to this obese guy for like two hours, ignoring his smell. Hadn't said a word to each other. All of a sudden he gets up, he looks at me in his tone of voice, he goes, I'm going to the shitter. Watch my bag. It's true, absolutely true. I'm like, how do I know your bags are not going to explode in 30 seconds? He goes, do I look like a terrorist? I go, that depends. He goes, depends on what? I go, if I was a cheeseburger, that was a fresh garden salad. I feel very comfortable watching you back

[Brian Redban]

for the next 20 minutes.

[Nick DePaulo]

Or a pack of Sweet and Low. But you like butter. Let's be honest, that's it. I did that at Acme.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, in Minneapolis. Yeah, that's a great club.

[Nick DePaulo]

My favorite club.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a great club.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's, you know, low sailing and it's I say, I think it was like 270 people.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, there's a. There's like five of those type of clubs. Like Helium Comedy Works. You know, all those, like low ceiling, tight, tight clubs.

[Nick DePaulo]

Joe, is Denver like that? I haven't been to the Comedy Works in years.

[Joe Rogan]

God, it's the best.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know. I got kicked out of there after two. Some bachelor light party ruined my shelf the second time I was there. And I called him fat cunts. And the girl who ran the place was a fat cunt, so she didn't like that.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, how dare you.

[Nick DePaulo]

I hope she's still not running it.

[Joe Rogan]

Of course she owns it. No, Wendy.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, I don't think it was Wendy. Oh, Christ. This had to be 18 years ago.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, it's probably Wendy.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really? Yeah, she's on the day. I apologize. She could have been owning it then though, right?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, she owned it from the start.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, because she wasn't there. No, the owners are never around when I'm there.

[Joe Rogan]

Large back then, and then she got like one of those tummy things done and.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, she stapled it.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, she went with the, like, you know, they. They do those things.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, it's. No, there's still no reason to let a bachelorette party ruin my show.

[Joe Rogan]

I hear you. Kill him with you.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's where you did yours, right?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Killer.

[Joe Rogan]

I love that place. Yeah, I did my Rocky Mountain High. The last one, my Comedy Central special. I decided I'm doing them all from now on. In clubs.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, I. I did the last one I did Raw Nerve was at Comics, which was a club, but it was like we squeezed like 500 people in there. And you know, people do these big theaters and they start to all sound alike or like kind of cookie cutter. You don't capture that. That energy that I think you can

[Joe Rogan]

get away with the theater. I mean, I did Talking Monkeys in Space. My next set, my second favorite one. That was in a theater in Columbus.

[Brian Redban]

That was a nice little theater, though.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it was like 900 seats, right?

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, that's perfect.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

But I think that once you go to like 2000, 3000, it's you. You lose a bit of the interaction with the crowd. Yeah. There you are in Acme. That's a great club. That's a great club. Those classic low ceiling clubs. That's. That's where comedy is hypnotic. Like everyone gets roped. Energy, mindset.

[Nick DePaulo]

The energy stays right in your face and you ride it and they ride it.

[Joe Rogan]

And it's also like, I feel like when you're. You have.

[Nick DePaulo]

You.

[Joe Rogan]

You don't miss any of the tags. You don't miss any of the. I didn't. Have you ever sat in the crowd at a theater before?

[Nick DePaulo]

Just at a Letterman taping when I first moved to New York.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, but that's different, right? Because that's like not a stand up. Yeah, no, I went to. I was in New Jersey and Joey and I. Joey Diaz and I were doing Friday night and Lewis Black was there on Thursday night. So we had gotten there early. We flew in, we said, let's go say hi to Lewis. We'll sit in the audience. So we went, sat in the audience, and he would get a big laugh and then he would have a tagline. Nobody couldn't hear the tagline. And I was like, oh, you can't hear out here because everyone's laughing. There was too many people, like, around you that were laughing and the sound just didn't penetrate.

[Nick DePaulo]

How big that was that there?

[Joe Rogan]

2200, 2400, something like that.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'll never get near that, unfortunately.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's a little larger.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's my goal, to make a bad specialty in front of 2200 people. Actually, I would love to be able to fill 2,200 seats. I don't give a shit how the special came out, but when you do

[Joe Rogan]

get a big laugh and like 3,000

[Nick DePaulo]

people to wait, it's a wave.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. What's the biggest crowd you ever performed for?

[Nick DePaulo]

Radio City, I think with a. Dennis. Larry was, I want to say, 7,000 or 6,500 or something.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, oh. Then we did some of the Staples Center. That's where it was. Staples center was even bigger. It was like 7,000, I think.

[Joe Rogan]

Out here in LA, I did Kevin and Bean have this April Foolish Day thing that. The April Fool's weekend, and it's 7,000. That was the biggest I've ever done. It's weird because it's at some theater at Universal and they're all in front of you. It's like a wall of people. It's like a real steep incline so that, like the top row is like right in front of you. Like, everyone's right in front of you. It's a very strange theater, but it's.

[Nick DePaulo]

Was it good? That makes it intimate.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's great for. For 7,000 people, it's as good as it gets.

[Nick DePaulo]

I did one of Seneca Casino this past October. I think it was like 550 seats, but same thing, theater seating. And if I have a shot, something else. I'd love to do it there.

[Joe Rogan]

Those casinos can be weird.

[Nick DePaulo]

Like they can suck or they can be great. That was a great one. But they hit or miss. You're right.

[Joe Rogan]

Those Indian ones in Connecticut.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, Christ, you don't know what you're getting.

[Joe Rogan]

Especially the people like Connecticut. Connecticut is a strange state. You got people around the edges that are near Boston or that are near New York, that are cool. They look kind of like, I didn't want to live in the city. Like, I want a yard. So they go to Connecticut.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

And then you got those deep weirdos that live in those. Where you have to drive five miles an hour because deer jumping across the road every five seconds.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, yeah. You get urban, you get Hartford, then you get. Yeah, the woods. And then you get the snooty people in Greenwich and Hartford. Westport.

[Joe Rogan]

Surprisingly shitty. I know you think of Hartford, Connecticut. It sounds regal, like, Hartford, Connecticut.

[Nick DePaulo]

It probably was at one time.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's.

[Nick DePaulo]

I mean, Waterbury, Connecticut.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

We used to be like a textile. It was unbelievable back in the 50s. It was a beautiful city now, you know?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I used to do gigs in

[Nick DePaulo]

Waterbury, get Ebola driving through there.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's a rough area. There's a lot of rough spots there.

[Nick DePaulo]

My wife's from outside of Waterbury.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it ain't the best place to stop.

[Nick DePaulo]

She's a witch dog. Did I mention that? No, she's from a little town from outside of Waterbury.

[Joe Rogan]

But, I mean, don't get me wrong, some nice people there, but they're all dying to get out.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't like casino. I don't like the mix of casino. I don't eat. I don't like. I guess if you're a gambler, I can see loving staying there for a week. But I hate when I have to do a casino. I just don't it. It. To me, it draws the dregs of. You see these people, like, they're in the late 70s. You're wearing dirty running shoes and a Members Only jacket on a Friday night, you know, and you think you're lucky. The. What makes you think you're lucky? You're wearing dirty running shoes and a Maps Only jacket, and you just put two grand into the Wheel of Fortune machine, you loser. And then they get pissed and they come to the show, Right? Yeah. And sit with that puss on their face.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, especially those casinos. You're like, you are only here because you're a gambling junkie. You're not taking a weekend in Vegas. We're gonna go to Vegas, we're gonna see some shows, we're gonna go to the Stratosphere, we're gonna ride the rides. No, none of that. Connecticut.

[Nick DePaulo]

And then you're playing, you know, you, you're at a crap sable. The guy next year is like a 20 year old kid wearing a Knicks shirt. He's a, a basketball shirt. Like, you know.

[Joe Rogan]

And what do you think you should dress up like back in the Rat Pack days?

[Nick DePaulo]

Not dress up, but what the fuck? You don't have to look like crap to a little collar.

[Joe Rogan]

A little collar on your shirt.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'm not saying that, but a little alligator. I have those shirts. I hate them.

[Joe Rogan]

You remember when we're kids, kids would. They would sew fake alligators on, like, generic.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, the kids in Southie would do that. Like the poor kids. Right? Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

And get mad at you if you want to check their tag. Doesn't have Notorious B.I.G. has a song about that.

[Brian Redban]

Right?

[Joe Rogan]

Doesn't it?

[Nick DePaulo]

Checking your tag.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, like someone trying to, like you punch him in the face. Like. Yeah, there's like a song where he's. He punches somebody in the face where they try to check his tag.

[Nick DePaulo]

There's a reason for violence. Hey, look, he's questioning your brand.

[Joe Rogan]

You got to do what you got to do. If you're in certain neighborhoods, you know, you got to keep your rep.

[Brian Redban]

The fake ones always look just like the alligator, but it's just like a tadpole or a lizard or something.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little off.

[Joe Rogan]

You can never. You, you have to have nothing on your shirt or. Isn't it weird how brands become like something that everyone has to have? It's so strange how sheepish people are with that kind of stuff. Sheep. Like I need to wear what everybody else is wearing. Otherwise you're not in, you know, like, brand. I, I know people that they, they want to have everything brand name, you know, like, everything has to be brand name. And if it's not brand name, like, well, it's just as good. Doesn't matter.

[Nick DePaulo]

You know, that's my wife you're talking about. You can't buy generic. I do a bit about. We have mice in our, in our basement. So I put traps down. She can't. I caught her putting imported Parmesan Reggiano cheese in one of the fucking traps at 18 bucks a pound. Really? How about Kraft Singles? What the fuck?

[Joe Rogan]

She was putting imported cheese.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, she just wanted, you know, put cheese stuff. Yeah, that's all we had in the fridge. I'M like, what do you fucking. You know, why don't you leave my biscotti down there? Fucking espresso maker. It's one of my older bits. But it's true.

[Joe Rogan]

Somebody has a good joke about biscotti. Like, no, no, no pastry. Have to dunk it in coffee first. Nobody eats biscotti raw. You know, my grandfather used to cuts the underside of your mouth.

[Brian Redban]

I think it's Sarah Weinscheck has one.

[Joe Rogan]

She has a biscotti bit.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It's not her. It's a guy. I know it's a guy who has the bit. But, yeah, I mean, it's one of those things. It's like, why, like, when you go to a. Like one of those coffee beans and they have. What are those hard, like, triangle looking. It's not a. It's a blueberry scone.

[Brian Redban]

Scones.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, I want a muffin and all you have is scones.

[Nick DePaulo]

Scones.

[Joe Rogan]

Lemon bar's not bad. I disagree with you there, sir. I don't mind a lemon bar.

[Brian Redban]

I love it.

[Joe Rogan]

I just. I just feel like pastry should be mostly soft. I don't mind a little crusty outside.

[Nick DePaulo]

And you look like you did coke right after you ate it. A little bit dessert powder all over your face, grinding your tail. They're delicious.

[Joe Rogan]

I've never done coke, but I'm always paranoid that people think I'm doing coke.

[Brian Redban]

Coke.

[Joe Rogan]

You found some in an old coat

[Brian Redban]

that I've haven't worn in, like, 10 years. I'm just, like, going through it. I'm like, what, the baggie? Yeah. Had like four lines in it. But I'm just thinking, like, who? What night did I go?

[Joe Rogan]

You know what?

[Brian Redban]

I'm done. I'm just gonna save this for later. What the.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that's not. How do you know it's coke? It might be ricin. Somebody's trying to kill you.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, might be like, I know how to kill this dummy.

[Nick DePaulo]

Somebody hated something you posted on YouTube.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, just put some. Something in a coke bag and leaving his jacket. He'll snort it.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's what I wanted.

[Brian Redban]

It's true. Because I don't remember ever even buying coke or having coke.

[Joe Rogan]

If somebody wanted to kill you, all they would have to do is buy you drinks. The Comedy Store, and then hand you a bag of anthrax. And you'd be like, yeah, anthrax.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's what it was.

[Joe Rogan]

It burns well, What, Joe, now this is.

[Nick DePaulo]

You've changed since I've known you. Like, I mean, you're like, this Cosmic fucking you're doing. What's the dsm? Dmt?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. That's way different than coke.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, I know. No, I know. That's why I'm saying I would risk a heart attack. I'd rather do this. That shit. I would never. I'm scared shit of that stuff.

[Joe Rogan]

Why are you scared?

[Nick DePaulo]

Because some people don't come back.

[Joe Rogan]

That's not true. That's. It's not like lsd. It's the thing about.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah. Dmt, first of all, your brain makes it. It's common in the body.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, then I have none of it. I've never had it.

[Joe Rogan]

Why do you. Do you have dreams?

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, do I ever.

[Joe Rogan]

There you go.

[Nick DePaulo]

You know, I have dreams and I drink kava. I have insomnia.

[Joe Rogan]

Kava. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

That gives me dreams.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that'll do that, right? Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

I knew it.

[Joe Rogan]

Melatonin gives some people freaky dreams.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't like that.

[Joe Rogan]

Sometimes just taking vitamins before you go to bed, sometimes people get weird dreams.

[Nick DePaulo]

How about if you kill your wife before you go to bed?

[Joe Rogan]

That'll make you sweat.

[Nick DePaulo]

Horrible dreams.

[Joe Rogan]

You probably won't sleep. Acetylcholine is a big one. Take acetylcholine before you go to sleep. You have the wild.

[Nick DePaulo]

What is that? And where do you get this? Joe, you crazy fuck.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, it's a. It's actually just a plant. It's an extract from plants. It's one of the main ingredients of Alpha Brain.

[Nick DePaulo]

But who turned. Who turned you onto this shit?

[Joe Rogan]

The Internet just started doing research.

[Brian Redban]

Nicotine patch. Just put a nicotine patch before you go to bed and it keeps your nicotine.

[Nick DePaulo]

Where am I?

[Joe Rogan]

Taint. That's a good place for it.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Does it really?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it keeps your nicotine receptors alive.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, there's a bunch of different nutrients that are shown to have a positive effect on your memory and the way your brain functions. So I started researching them about 10 years ago. I started getting into them, taking different ones, a bunch of different vitamins and.

[Nick DePaulo]

But it wasn't. It wasn't any. Like, it wasn't a bunch of friends that said you got to do this shit.

[Joe Rogan]

What? DMT is different. I mean, this is. We're talking about like acetylcholine and nutrients and parasite.

[Nick DePaulo]

I want to hear about the dmt.

[Joe Rogan]

Dmt, third eye shit that I found out about. Well, I heard about it first through this guy named Terrence McKenna, who was. I heard about Terence McKenna through an old Bill Hicks joke. Bill Hicks did a Channel. Yeah. About Terrence with 10 mushrooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With Terrence McKenna would call a heroic dose. So I was like, who's this McKenna guy? And so I bought a Terence McKenna book. And I was like, holy shit, is this guy going deep? I think I bought Food of the Gods. It's crazy book. This guy was just. I mean, at the time when I never heard anything about, like, much about psychedelics. I mean, when I knew people that did mushrooms is like, let's get fucked up. Hey, I got some mushrooms.

[Nick DePaulo]

Whoa.

[Joe Rogan]

We're gonna go see some crazy shit that's not really there.

[Nick DePaulo]

Did you do that shit?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

You did mushrooms when you were young.

[Joe Rogan]

And so, no, I didn't do. I didn't party at all. Like, in. I. I might have smoked pot five times before I was 30. Maybe at the most, six or seven before I was 30. And it was all. It was all. When I was drunk, you know, it's like, party drunk. Someone's got a joint. Yeah, it. I'll smoke some of that. And then I was like, oh, I don't want to do that again.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, Freaked me out. I can't feel my feet. You know, that kind of shit.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that's what surprises me. Then you do this shit.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, then I started getting into pot, and I enjoy it now. I. I love pot. It's one of my favorite things. Yeah. Once I hit about 30, 31, I started hanging out my friend Eddie Bravo. And Eddie Bravo, who is a musician, was telling me that it makes him more creative, that he likes. Likes. I was like, makes me dopey. And he's like, are you sure? Like, have you ever. If you ever, like, smoked it by itself or you smoke it when you're drinking. So we smoke some. And then I was like, this is the best shit ever. And we went and got ice cream sundaes. And I was like, I can't fucking believe ice cream sundaes taste this good.

[Nick DePaulo]

And then you wrote a bit on it.

[Joe Rogan]

No, it's just true.

[Nick DePaulo]

Ice cream Sundays.

[Joe Rogan]

No, I should have. I probably should have. I missed the boat, but really? Oh, dude, sex feels so much better when you're high.

[Nick DePaulo]

What kind of weed is this?

[Joe Rogan]

Any kind of weed. It makes you hypersensitive. That's why people get paranoid. The reason why you get paranoid is because most of us put blinders on because you have to to get through life. I mean, there's. You know, we're on a fucking planet. We're flying through space. We're riding around in Metal boxes.

[Nick DePaulo]

You know what I wanted to hear?

[Joe Rogan]

60 miles an hour on the. Anybody at any moment in time could just fucking turn into the oncoming traffic. And you have to put blinders on to get through life. And we ignore things. And then when you smoke pot it goes, hey, you ever think about this? And you're like, yeah, but I'm trying not to. And then people. I don't like pot because it makes me paranoid. I think it just makes you hypersensitive.

[Nick DePaulo]

Last time I smoked, it was in. When I first moved to New York City, I was in an acting class. This cute girl, we go back to her apartment, like five of us in the class, smoke this shit. And then I had to go. On the way home, I go to the bank, chemical bank. I'm in line. I'm like fourth in line. And they had a digital thing where your number comes up. So finally I get to the front, my number comes up and I fucking lady just stared at me and I ran out the door. That's a true story. Just freaked out. She looked like a mean school teacher and I just fucking bolted. That's the last time. That was like in the early 90s.

[Joe Rogan]

That's funny.

[Brian Redban]

Do you want to smoke some?

[Nick DePaulo]

You know, I bet you would help me with my insomnia, wouldn't it?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, sometimes.

[Nick DePaulo]

But then again, what if it's really. I hear it's like the weed today is obviously way stronger than what was going on until like 50.

[Brian Redban]

I was one hit nowadays and just see if it works.

[Joe Rogan]

Got some right here. Nick Depone.

[Brian Redban]

Just one hit.

[Nick DePaulo]

This is gonna happen when his place. Look at the skulls. And that's all I need. Smoke weed and look at this. This goats head you got over here,

[Joe Rogan]

that's a boost that I shot a couple months ago.

[Nick DePaulo]

Are you kidding? Put on the 101.

[Joe Rogan]

No. This episode is brought to you by Intuit. TurboTax April 15th is coming fast. There's been so many tax law changes this year which means you're going to need an expert who has your back. You're in luck. TurboTax now has in person locations nationwide. Walk into their tech enabled stores and meet face to face with a turbo tax full service expert who will get your best outcome. Your expert works to get you every dollar you deserve. While updating you as you go about your day. Head to turbotax.com to find a store near you. This episode is brought to you by Better Help. In honor of International Women's Day, BetterHelp is celebrating the women in our lives because for a lot of women, there's this constant sense you're supposed to be on, like you're always performing at 100. But those expectations can be detrimental. Having the time and space to decompress is so important. And therapy through Better Help can help give you that. Therapy can alleviate some of the pressure that you face in your day to day life and help you realize it's okay if you're not perfect. Signing up for that first session can be intimidating. Luckily, better help does most of the work. Finding the right therapist for you. They have a wide network of fully licensed therapists who work following a strict code of conduct. So you can have a safe space to just be you. Your emotional well being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail]. yeah, it was an invader from Canada. It didn't have its green card. I took it out for America. No, I shot that one in Canada. If you lived around here, I'd give you some moose steaks. I got £400 of it, my friend.

[Nick DePaulo]

Do you really? Yeah, Guy Joe. Testosterone, man. It's hilarious. My cousin. I got a cousin who hunts with bow and arrow. He's got all kinds of.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I've done some of that.

[Nick DePaulo]

Have you?

[Joe Rogan]

I shot a bear with a bow and arrow.

[Nick DePaulo]

You do that high and.

[Joe Rogan]

No, that would freak you. No, no, no. Yeah, it's not bad. Caveman coffee. I don't. Yeah. Firearms and marijuana is not. I want to be like hyper diligent. Hyper aware. Yeah. On the point. No, around, you know, you. The last thing you ever want to be involved in is a firearm accident that you could have prevented.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's a good point. I didn't even think of that angle.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I got. No. I know guys who do it, though. They smoke weed and then go. They go bow hunting. They get in the tree stand, smoke a joint, sit out there with nature. They like it. Really. At least if you're in a tree stand and you're shooting a bow and arrow, the likelihood of you shooting yourself is very small. The likelihood of you shooting somebody else, very small, you know?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Because the Indians were probably high back in the day when they were hunting.

[Joe Rogan]

They didn't have much marijuana here.

[Nick DePaulo]

Not weed, but peyote.

[Joe Rogan]

They used that. But yeah, there's probably some mushroom use going on too, but I think they would use that stuff to sort of like post. Post, you know, hunt. To kind of like celebrate. Celebrate or something like that.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, they rub.

[Joe Rogan]

But the Vikings, you know, used to use Mushrooms and go Minnesota Zerker. No, not those guys. These steroids.

[Nick DePaulo]

Randy.

[Joe Rogan]

Different Vikings. Who's that giant dude who there's all these photos of? There's some. Some football player. There was like a bunch of memes with this guy, you know, I'm talking

[Nick DePaulo]

about was he steroid freak or something?

[Joe Rogan]

No, I mean probably. Who the knows, you know, I don't know. Is it a college kid Is a college kid. Yeah, he's in college. He's like. No, he's playing 68290 or something like that. I mean the people today are so goddamn freaky huge.

[Nick DePaulo]

2% body fat. They can run like deer.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, this is the guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

What?

[Joe Rogan]

Look at this. This is not the right picture, but look. There's one picture of this guy standing around a bunch of other people and you just like. You go, what the fuck? How is that guy so big? Yeah, that's the photo. That photo. Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at the size of that motherfucker. That guy was created in the lab. That doesn't even look like a real person.

[Nick DePaulo]

Negative body fat.

[Joe Rogan]

What do you got going on?

[Brian Redban]

I'm making the picture bigger.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, the. Yeah, that's not the. There's a full photo of him. There it is. Yeah. See if you can make that big. Yeah, Twitter doesn't. When you do, when you try to enlarge a Twitter photo, it doesn't let you do that for some reason. You go to a certain size and it blanks out on you. Yeah, he looks like, like a lab experiment. You know, when you go back and you look like Jim Brown back when he was playing Sean Oakman. That's the, the gentleman's name. I will call him a gentleman from now on, by the way. He's something some insane size and he's still in college. It just doesn't make any sense. People are just way bigger now. I don't know if it's hormones and the meat.

[Nick DePaulo]

12 year old girls with mustache handle by myself. There he is.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at this. Look at this. Jesus Christ.

[Nick DePaulo]

He's probably a strong safety too.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at the size of that guy. That doesn't even look like a human. Look how he's towering over the guys next to him.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, look at his arms.

[Joe Rogan]

He's. Yeah, they're popping out of his shirt. Why does he have pads on? They're not gonna help. Those pads are useless. What the.

[Nick DePaulo]

He doesn't have pads on.

[Joe Rogan]

What the.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know. He's got a stomach like a cheerleader.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, those.

[Nick DePaulo]

Why?

[Joe Rogan]

I was thinking that the other day, like how come do it never caught on with guys to wear like, midriff exposed shirts. It's like girls wear those exclusively. Like midriff exposure.

[Nick DePaulo]

I guess. You haven't been to West Hollywood lately.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, with the tide and the knot in front. That's the best.

[Nick DePaulo]

Like Ellie May. Clamp it. I'm gonna suck some cops down on Sunset Boulevard.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, the Beverly Hillbillies. Yeah. Nobody. Nobody back then. You watch the Beverly Hillbillies? Nobody ever. Ever.

[Nick DePaulo]

Ellie May. Who wouldn't?

[Joe Rogan]

Did she even go on a date on that show?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, with Jethro, her brother. Then you had the first lesbian in Hollywood. I think was Miss Hathaway.

[Joe Rogan]

I thought it was Alice.

[Nick DePaulo]

I think the Beverly Hillbillies.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah. Alice from the Brady was Alice, but I think.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, Christia. She played Texas. She was a nose tackle college before she got. She landed the role of Alice. See the coffee? I'm stumbling over my own.

[Joe Rogan]

We're getting angry already.

[Nick DePaulo]

Unbelievable. She was good, but. No, but Ms. Hathaway was. I think the Beverly Hillbillies predated.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, you're right. The lady that worked at the bank.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes.

[Joe Rogan]

They were always kissing his ass because. Yeah, because Jed had all the money.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, the one that Dennis Miller said when he's talking about Bruce Jenner. Hey, when did Bruce Jenner turn into Mrs. Hathaway from the.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's not. It's not the best reference, but I see what he's going to.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

Mel is a strange cat, man. He is a strange guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

I like him.

[Joe Rogan]

I like him, too. I mean, I. I like him as a person. I've talked to him. I enjoy talking to him. But he. 911 came along and that guy just went flunking. He took a right turn and hit that gas.

[Nick DePaulo]

I was already there.

[Joe Rogan]

You were? Oh, you were always there.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Yeah. Stuck out like a sore thumb in Boston, didn't I?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, Boston's a little right wing. I mean, there's a lot of left wing in Boston, but there's a lot of right wing, too.

[Nick DePaulo]

You're right. It's so left that It. We used to talk about this at Knicks. It's so left wing that it came full circle. They started to have shit in common, like people from Southie and. And, you know, it was. Remember Barry Crimmins? You remember those, right?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. You know, I was talking to Bobcat this weekend. Bobcat Goldwick came to the UFC and I got him. And his daughter's boyfriend is a big UFC fan.

[Brian Redban]

Fan.

[Joe Rogan]

I got him some tickets and hung out with him. And he just did a documentary on Barry Crimmins and.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right. I heard him talking about it.

[Joe Rogan]

It's pretty intense.

[Nick DePaulo]

He's sick now, Barry, right? Is he? He was. A couple years ago. They had a benefit for him.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, I didn't. I didn't know about that. Yeah, but this was about. Barry was apparently molested as a child. As a young child. And this. This is sort of, like, explaining how he became this, like, sort of angry curmudgeon. Right. And it's apparently a really deep and intense documentary, and it's coming out. It's gonna be on Sundance, and they're gonna come on the show in. Sometime either in late January or February. But it's. It's a Up Bobcat title, too. Like, call Me Lucky or something like that.

[Nick DePaulo]

Like, call me like.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, like, that's what he. You know, he named the. The documentary. Something along those lines. He told me the title. I was howling, laughing. But, yeah, Barry Crimmins was, like, super left.

[Nick DePaulo]

I remember hearing that. Him saying that he came out one night and sort of broke down on stage at Stitches about that.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's what I remember hearing. I think. I can't remember if I had already moved to New York at that point, but I remember somebody telling me secondhand that he. Like, that he let it all out on stage one night or something.

[Joe Rogan]

But, you know, left wing back then was a different thing. Thing.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It was way more tolerant. Yeah, it was way more tolerant and relaxed. And now it's become a lot of, like, shaming and call outs. It's become this aggressive tactic thing, like the. The aggressively left wing in your face about it.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

Which is. It creates conflict more than it resolves anything.

[Nick DePaulo]

Absolutely.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, I mean, Barry was like. He was like a pro union guy because he believed that people should get good wages. He bought American beer. He would always drink a Budweiser.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right. Stage I. I used to carry the. I carry a case of Bud. I was a bar back for, like, six months in Stitches before I started comedy. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

With Susie.

[Nick DePaulo]

Susie.

[Joe Rogan]

Remember Susie, the manager of Stitches? She was in that band. They had a parody band where they walk like an Egyptian. Was walk with an erection.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Harry Conforti was running it.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

And but Barry, you're right, I used to bring a case of Budweiser. And you're right. Now we think back on it, he was hiding. He would drink that case throughout the night. There'd be maybe two left. I mean, wow. In About a. You know, sit around after. And he had a cooler. And he's the only guy that ever tipped me as a bar back.

[Joe Rogan]

He was a kid.

[Nick DePaulo]

There you go, kids. Big walrus mustache. He was kind of intimidating. And. And it's funny. It's like Randy Kredico. He's so, I mean, radical left wing, but he used to make me laugh as hard as anybody. Jimmy Tingle and Tingle. I mean, they're funny guys. No doubt about it.

[Joe Rogan]

I always quote Tingle's joke about Ronald Reagan. This was when I was an open micr. I saw him perform this. Because when I was an open micr was right after the whole Reagan contra thing and went down. It was like 1988. And right after Reagan was out of office, they. They were. They were in. He was on trial and they were asking him, did you sell arms to Iran? He said, I don't remember.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't.

[Joe Rogan]

Mr. President, will you sell. When you sell arms to people who hate us, jot it down.

[Nick DePaulo]

That is a perfect Boston Jimmy tangle.

[Joe Rogan]

It's just such a great line.

[Nick DePaulo]

That is a good tangle, Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he was good. He's another one. He's like real left wing, but reasonable in his left wing.

[Nick DePaulo]

Absolutely.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, it's like left wing now has become this, like, super hyper, the fascist fox. This is like I've experienced. I experienced it. It in a pretty hardcore way when I came out again, and I'm pretty left wing and a lot of issues on gay rights, on gay marriage, on a lot of different issues, on racial issues. But I also own guns. I'm in the nra. I got. I'm a lot of like, I feel like there's a lot of credible issues on both sides, but there's this guy who got a sex change and then started fighting women in mma. I was like, get the out of here. And all these people were calling me transphobe and bigot and all this crazy.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

And that's when I got really. That's when I really experienced the full understanding of what it means to be a social justice warrior.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right, Right.

[Joe Rogan]

Anytime a man is critical of women, anytime a man shits on a woman, that guy, well, that's it.

[Nick DePaulo]

She has one arm.

[Joe Rogan]

You don't on them. On the ones for a thousand, you don't even feel bad about it. It's like, we got. You got paid well. But anytime a man is doing. Doing something horrible against a woman or saying something bad about that guy becomes a misogynist.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Unless you're criticizing a transgender person. See, transgender is more marginalized than women. So a transgender guy who becomes a girl now can fight women. And if you criticize that, you're criticizing a former guy who's now a girl. And that's like.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, I can't even follow that over the.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it gets.

[Nick DePaulo]

I hate them both.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Nick, is that right?

[Nick DePaulo]

So he's fighting guys, girls now.

[Joe Rogan]

Now at least he's out. She is out of the closet. Or, you know, or not. I shouldn't say out of the closet. I said out and open about it because the first two women she fought didn't know that she used to be a guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

I. I saw some of this on.

[Joe Rogan]

It was. It's crazy.

[Nick DePaulo]

What's her. His name? His.

[Joe Rogan]

It's no need to. No need to give this person any more publicity than she's already gotten just because she had a hundred YouTube videos complaining about me. But the bottom line, really. Yeah, there's. There's two. There's two schools about it. There's transgender reassignment doctors who say, no, she's totally a woman. But then there's martial artists and then regular endocrinologists, they go, whoa, whoa, hold on a second. Like, you're not talking about just regular sports. You're not talking about someone who's competing in, say, you know, bike racing.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Renee Richards, there was another one who was.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Bike weight racer. A mountain bike racer who dominated all the women in her first professional event is beating them like 10, 15 seconds faster than everybody and everyone. What the. And these are like. A lot of people, like, encouraged her to get into, you know, competing as a woman. And then, you know, it just. Did the inherent differences of the male and female frame really get highlighted when you watch somebody beat the shit out of somebody.

[Nick DePaulo]

Absolutely.

[Joe Rogan]

Who is a natural born woman versus someone who's becoming a woman. Certain things you can't change.

[Nick DePaulo]

Joe, do you remember. You remember Superfoot Wallace?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I do.

[Nick DePaulo]

Do you remember when the woman went up against him on why World of Sports?

[Joe Rogan]

No.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, why did she. I wonder if it's still around. Well, it wasn't even camp because a kickboxing.

[Joe Rogan]

Yes, Bill Superfoot.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't know, because Billie Jean King and the whole movement was in full swing and this broad comes running out and he fucking drops her like a used rubber in fucking. The first two. I came as a roundhouse or just a punch.

[Joe Rogan]

Probably a hook kick or a punch, because he had. He had the best hook kick.

[Nick DePaulo]

I think it was. I want to say it was a kick to the Head. Then they, they drag her back to record. Then they sit her up again, they send her out again and he does it again.

[Joe Rogan]

No way.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes.

[Brian Redban]

Really?

[Nick DePaulo]

I remember as a kid going, what the fuck?

[Joe Rogan]

Cheering There's a woman named Lucia Riker who's probably one of the best women boxers of all time. And she fought a guy and it was like one of the first men versus female. She just fought a mediocre guy and she's like a world champion that everybody like Christy Martin was ducking her. All these women were duckers daughter. This, this, this, this Lucia Riker chick was arguably one of the best female boxers of all time. Got lit up like a Christmas tree by this dude and knocked dead just whomp. He caught her with a punch and just turned the lights out in Georgia and she face planted. It was ugly because you know, you're, you're watching a guy beat the shit out of a chick, right? It's, it doesn't matter if they're the same weight class. It doesn't matter if they, they have the same amount of body mass. It's a different structure.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, like Chris Rock said, you know, we were talking about that. He goes, yeah, you still have a hundred and you still have 105 pound chin though. Yeah, you know, that's the difference or whatever.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, they can definitely, men can definitely take punches better for the most part. I mean this, guys that are built much more slender and feminine, but right, this, this one woman who used to be a man is not, it's not built feminine. You know, you get man shoulders and man hands. Man hands hit harder, man shoulders are wider. The whole deal. It's just. But the point being, until then I had not experienced the full impact of the progressive movement, the full aggressive response.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

Totally illogically. I'm like, look, we're just, we're not talking about her right to be a woman. I fully support that. You want to. I wouldn't know what it was like to be born a man.

[Nick DePaulo]

Exactly. Miserable problem.

[Joe Rogan]

I fully support you changing your, your sex. No problem at all. Change your gender. No problem at all. I have no problem. I'll call you whatever the you want, but if you beat the out of my sister, I'm probably gonna come after you. I'm just gonna be honest with you. I try to be tolerant. Until I find out that you did not disclose the fact used to be a man. And my sister's in the hospital because you shind her in the head. You know, it's like this is a different world. You're talking about. You're talking about the world of combat sports, right? That's my world. And I'm. I'm telling you right now, there's a big goddamn difference between the way a man hits a bag and the way a woman hits. Hits the bag. You watch the difference between the impact. I don't know how much gets taken away by that sex change. But not enough, right? It's not enough.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right.

[Joe Rogan]

Just. This is just too much.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right.

[Brian Redban]

Scoop more out.

[Joe Rogan]

What you can't. You know what you can't change, dude? That. Yeah. You can't change the size of the fists. You can't change the. The. The. You mean.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, the frame.

[Joe Rogan]

The frame. If you. That woman dies and a thousand years from now, scientists dig up her body, they're gonna go, oh, there's a dude. That's a dude skeleton. They're not gonna know that, you know, it was transgender. It's a woman. They're not gonna know that. They're gonna say, this is a male skeleton. Look at the hips. That's. Those are male hips.

[Nick DePaulo]

That was a boundary that even feminists used to stay away from, but now they seem to be pushing that. Like, I was. I was at Gotham a couple years ago and a fight breaks. It had nothing to do with me on stage. Like, two tables got into it and there was women right in the middle of it swinging over.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't know. Someone was being loud in another table, complained, and there was boyfriends and girlfriends at the table. Then they just started fucking swinging on each other. And there was a girl right in the middle trying to hit the doorman. And the other doorman came over.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa. Knocked out the doorman.

[Nick DePaulo]

She know he popped her.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Or he, the doorman, knocked her out. You don't fuck around at Gotham. Those are all former cops.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's exactly right.

[Joe Rogan]

Those are big fucking Irish square jawed savages that have knocked a lot of fucking heads loose.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. And these chicks right in the middle fucking throw. Trying to throw haymakers. Because they bought into this shit.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

You know, I mean, they're going a little too far with it. Did you see the woman trying to play football?

[Joe Rogan]

No.

[Nick DePaulo]

On the Internet.

[Joe Rogan]

No.

[Nick DePaulo]

Look it up. It was an indoor league or an arena league or whatever. It's like first and goal from the five yard line. She's a female running.

[Joe Rogan]

And I don't mean like a big, small woman.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

She just thinks she's fast.

[Nick DePaulo]

She tries to. Yeah. They try to run her off tackle like four times. And she. Each time she gets. It's hit more, bro. Even I was like cringing. I don't even know. I don't even know her name. It was like an indoor league or arena league, but it said, you know, she was like the first one, first female to play in a pro game. That wasn't a kicker.

[Joe Rogan]

Physical equality is non existent. It's just non existent. And it's definitely. It's not even existent inside the genders, you know, male. Like, there's certain men, there's guys who fight in the ufc. Oh, yeah, like this guy, Hector Lombard, this freak of nature, this Cuban Olympian judo player who's this knockout artist. You watch him fight and you're like, well, it almost is unfair that he fights regular people, even though they're bold. They're all 170 pounds. That's a different 170 pounds. Yeah, but at least there. I mean, there's no fair when it comes to that shit. And that's part of what. What it is to be a champion. Champion. Like, what is this? 5 foot 2, 130 pound Female running back, plays a professional football game.

[Nick DePaulo]

Watch the. She takes it. Oh, she's still alive. All right.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know.

[Nick DePaulo]

There's the two guys that knocked her out.

[Joe Rogan]

Why would she do that?

[Nick DePaulo]

She was taking shots like I have. Yeah, that's it.

[Joe Rogan]

Please.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's it. And they give the ball to her like three times in a row.

[Joe Rogan]

Are we gonna get pulled from YouTube? Let's see.

[Nick DePaulo]

Give it a shot.

[Joe Rogan]

Let's. We'll edit this, ladies and gentlemen. And if we get pulled from YouTube. Jamie. I'll just edit that. You know, they Google it. What's the name of it?

[Brian Redban]

The. The. It's called Five Foot Two. It's on Daily Mail. Five Foot Two, 130 pound female running back plays and professional football game. But I think the video is actually pulled from this website, so.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. By your husband. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Because this is not playing the fucking United Nations. It's a crime against humanity.

[Brian Redban]

Right, here's a picture, though.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, God, look at her getting smashed.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's not it.

[Joe Rogan]

It. Look at it. That's not it, though.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's not her. Well, that might be. That's it. That's the. That's the clip.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, here we go. Jesus Christ.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, that was her about to go in.

[Joe Rogan]

They just smashed her and they.

[Nick DePaulo]

You got up. She gets a round of applause for getting up.

[Joe Rogan]

She's not dead. Congratulations. She's not Dead.

[Nick DePaulo]

Should they give her the ball three times in a row and each hit is more savage. I'm sitting there going, what the. But she's tough as nails because she, she, she didn't go off the field. That's her. You see her fly? You see it go flying through the air?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, that did.

[Nick DePaulo]

Just threw her.

[Joe Rogan]

Don't let's not watch this. I don't want to watch that. Yeah, people can I laugh. Crazy. Why would you laugh? Makes me sad.

[Nick DePaulo]

Be a chick trying to play again.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I have daughters. I don't want them to be that stupid.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, they won't. You wouldn't let them do that, would you?

[Joe Rogan]

I put them. I can do. I can't control them. They become adults. They can do whatever the hell you give them.

[Nick DePaulo]

That mind altering shit you do.

[Brian Redban]

Joe. You got to see this last one though.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay.

[Brian Redban]

This looks like humongous guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

Just. Oh, you go.

[Brian Redban]

This is horrible.

[Joe Rogan]

Here we go. Watch this.

[Brian Redban]

She's got the ball.

[Nick DePaulo]

Boom.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Christ.

[Nick DePaulo]

Look at. She pops right up though. That's a tough chick.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. Oh, she's probably played, I guess before

[Nick DePaulo]

you got a juice. You got a juice.

[Joe Rogan]

If you do, even she's juicing, you know. God. I mean, you'd have to juice for so long that you actually became a man. We had a, a guy in the podcast that used to be a woman and became a man. Buck Angel. She's kind of, I mean, well, when she was a woman, she was built like slender. And now he's a man and he's pretty thick and he. At one point in time he got to like 185. He was yoked, but he said it was like too much pressure on the joints, like, because you're just banging testosterone doing deadlifts. But this, you know, there's only so much that changes. It doesn't change the size of your face and the size of your hands. All that stuff gets smashed. You know, how does.

[Nick DePaulo]

Let me ask you a question. How does Stallone. He's 68. He's still juicing, right? Yeah, I watch these movies and he's ripped.

[Joe Rogan]

He's more than 68 now. He's like, he's almost 70.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah. I'm ready to juice.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, you should do it. Yeah, it's testosterone replacement therapy.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I do it.

[Nick DePaulo]

Give me a name of a doctor. I'm dead serious. I got the physique of Buddy Epson.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, listen, it makes another Beverly Hills. The bottom line. Stallone is 68. Yeah, he's my canary in A coal mine. As long as I fucking lies alive, we're all good.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'm telling you.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, look, it, it's, there's a lot of science involved in it and right. If you go to the right doctor, right, you make sure that you, you get your level, your blood levels checked on a regular basis. It's not any more dangerous than aging. Aging is fucking terrible.

[Nick DePaulo]

Such a great point.

[Joe Rogan]

Aging gets you. No matter what you do. Everybody dies from aging. And the people like, oh, that's eventually going to kill you. Oh, like unlike life.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, I'm gonna get cheated out of a month.

[Brian Redban]

Month.

[Joe Rogan]

Listen, you know, it's a new Rambo, he's doing a new rant.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know. Last Blood, he's calling it Laugh Last Blood, somebody said. And somebody made a menopause joke about it. I forget who it was. Somebody said that already.

[Brian Redban]

Hilarious.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, there's never been a, maybe a 68 year old guy that looks like him.

[Nick DePaulo]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, my wife says I'm in love with him and I kind of am.

[Nick DePaulo]

I like Stallone too. He still sucks me in. And I don't like those.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at that, that the out of here. Look at that picture of them. Look at that picture of them.

[Nick DePaulo]

When was that?

[Joe Rogan]

That's recent. Look at that. That's recent.

[Nick DePaulo]

How is that possible, man?

[Joe Rogan]

Testosterone. What? That's what's missing from old people.

[Nick DePaulo]

So my GNC pills that say testosterone, not cutting it.

[Joe Rogan]

There's, there's a bunch. Those, those help a little.

[Nick DePaulo]

Do they?

[Joe Rogan]

You know, you know what helps a lot is deadlifts and squats.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'm not doing that.

[Joe Rogan]

Hill sprints. And anytime you do something that's like compound exercises that require your body to like put out a lot of energy, like big bursts of energy, those force your endocrine system to fire up because your body's like, this motherfucker is going to be lifting weights. Like he's gonna, he's gonna do this all the time. We got to produce a lot more hormones than we regularly are. But if you just sit around in a office and you don't exercise, your testosterone levels are just. Your body only does what it has to do. That's right. That's why people get muscle atrophy. When they don't work out, your muscles shrink because your body's like, we don't need these. Yeah, that happens to young people. If you don't work out, your body's like, we don't need this. Well, that's the same thing. When you get old, if you get old and you're not lifting weights, your bone density decreases.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right. A lot of happens my, my joints though. I did P90X right? I did. You know, you're supposed to do it for 90 days. I did it for like 11 months. I got obsessed with it.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Nick DePaulo]

And I dropped like 10 pounds, which is all I wanted to drop. I was in like, like this. I, I did this like. It ended about a year and a half ago, but I kept doing it. You're only supposed to. And there's a reason. You're only supposed to do it because it's kind of tough on your joints. So I did it for like 11 months. All sudden I get up, my, my knees are clicking and my hips. And it's not because of, it's not because of P9. It's because I abused it.

[Joe Rogan]

Right.

[Nick DePaulo]

You know, I mean, there's a lot of jump. X is a lot of stuff that people say is kind of out of fashion now.

[Joe Rogan]

Fashion.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, not out of fat, but you know what I mean. I just. Not for a guy in his 50s.

[Joe Rogan]

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. People always ask me what my website is powered by. And the answer is Squarespace. Their design tools are unmatched. You don't have to be a tech wizard to build something that actually looks professional and fits your brand. They've even got an AI powered website builder that lets you put together a fully custom site in just a few steps. Try it for yourself. Head to squarespace.com rogan for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, just use the offer code Rogan to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by Shipstation. When your company's growing fast, order fulfillment can make or break your success. Shipstation's intelligence driven platform brings order management, rate, shopping, inventory and returns, warehouse systems and comprehensive analytics all in one place, saving customers 15 hours per week on fulfillment. ShipStation compares rates across all major global carriers, including USPS, UPS and FedEx. Plus your own discounted rates if you have them define you the best shipping option on every order, with discounts up to 90% off. There's a reason why over 1 million businesses trust Shipstation. Try Shipstation free for 60 days with full access to all features. No credit card needed. Go to shipstation.com and use the code JRE for 60 days. Free 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's shipstation.com code J, R, E. You

[Nick DePaulo]

know what I mean?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Well, there's some people that have some ideas about, like, limitations are a lot of times based on injuries. Like, oh, this guy got. He hurt his back. Back. Well, don't do that anymore and you won't hurt your back. There's a lot of ideas that people have, but it's. It's all about knowing your body, knowing how much stress you put on your body and giving your body plenty of recovery time and then giving your body the right nutrients to recover, like fish oil, vitamin D, protein, a full range of multivitamins. This is super important for your body and food. Like, eating the right foods. That's. That's very important. Like, all the vitamins in the world are not going to help you if you're eating cheeseburger burgers every day.

[Nick DePaulo]

Of course.

[Joe Rogan]

Did you eat healthy when you.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah, yeah. A lot of salmon, a lot of chicken, a lot of protein, vegetables, Just enough carbs to fuel me. And it worked. It worked fucking awesome. Oh, yeah, it did everything. Because your heart rate goes through the roof and. No, there's no. I just abused it. I had never done anything that worked like that since I was in my 20s and I played football in college. I was the best shape I was in, and I was like, holy. And that's what we were doing back then. We were doing, you know, a lot of plyometrics and stuff.

[Joe Rogan]

Right, right.

[Nick DePaulo]

And that's what we did in college to get. And it. I was in great condition, but I couldn't. I was doing it six times a week. And you're supposed to stop after 90 days.

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't know you're supposed to stop. I just thought it was.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, if you're in your 50s, you are, you know. I mean, if you're. If you're 25, you can do it for three years. I'm sure the guy who does it

[Joe Rogan]

is like 50, isn't he?

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, he's older than that now. Tony. Yeah. Tony.

[Joe Rogan]

Great. Shit.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know.

[Joe Rogan]

Do you know there's another one that you can do that's called the Extreme Kettlebell Cardio Workout by this guy, Keith Weber. There's not. No jumping and no. None of that stuff. It's all just one. I do it with a 30 kettlebell.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, I saw that out there. I tried to pick it up and I go, well, I'm done with that.

[Joe Rogan]

That's £70. So that's a heavy one. This. This one was a light one. It's just a full cardio worker. It's. You pick up a 35 pound kettlebell, it feels like nothing, but after like

[Nick DePaulo]

a minute playing with it.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Holy. You'll like. How much time is this gonna. It's a 45 minute workout. Oh my God. 20 minutes in, your legs are on fire, your lungs are on fire, but it's very low stress on your joint because it's not a lot of weight and it's not like no jumping or anything like that. I fucking love that workout. I do it all the time. It's fantastic. But it's like one of those ones. He's doing it, so you do it, you follow along. Those are the best ones. That's what's good about that. P90X.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right? Exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

Do what they're doing and then you know it's over. When you're done on, you show up. Yeah, that's the problem is just actually doing like so many people, like, I want to get in shape, I want to do it. That's all. Just do it. Nobody does it. They just talk about it.

[Nick DePaulo]

They talk about it. He said that one in one of the things, he goes, just show up and hit play. And that actually set off a thing in my head. No matter how shitty I felt, I'd go down there and go, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, I always give myself advice like. Like some, like a lot of times when I land somewhere, I'm like, oh, want to go to the gym? You know, And I go, come on, man up. And then I like tell myself, I go, all right, I pretend like I'm talking to me and I call myself a. And then I just go. But I always feel better when I do. You know, it's like knowing when you feel like because you're getting sick and knowing when you feel like just because you don't want to do it, this gets up. I'll tell you what, that gets up. He pull that picture up, Brian.

[Nick DePaulo]

I read an article, he said he. When he was, you know, when he was doing the, the. The Expendables? No, the First Blood. Rambo. He was so obsessed with working out, he'd go, he'd be out in south beach based and then go right to the gym drunk at three in the morning.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Well, he was drunk. Yes. He said he was obsessed with it.

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't even know he got drunk.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's what he said. Well, he said he was at bars. I'm guessing that's what he was doing. And he'd go right to the friggin gym.

[Joe Rogan]

That's hilarious.

[Nick DePaulo]

Three in the morning.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, that's if you follow the Rock. Follow the Rock's Instagram page. If you ever want to feel like a lazy. Follow the Rock's Instagram page. He'll like fly somewhere at 5:00 clock in the morning and it's like touchdown. 5:00am Gym. 5:30 at the gym. Doing squats.

[Brian Redban]

I saw he has the kettlebells. He on it. Kettlebells.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah, he's on it.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'll fly to a hotel in the gym. I can see it from my room. I won't go to it now. Just stare at it.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a fucking, it's gonna get me hurt. It's a Nautilus. Those event, they're outdated. They're bad for your joints. Pull that picture up. Look at this motherfucker. 70 years old.

[Nick DePaulo]

That is hilarious.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, look how he's looking out the window. You move to shoot somebody or kill somebody.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's got a freaking nine pack.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he's an actor. Look at, he's awesome.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's true. If I knew somebody, you know, if I knew 12 million people gonna see me, I'd actually put in the time. I, yeah, I mean, but when it's my wife, who gives a. Yeah, listen,

[Joe Rogan]

you're gonna suck it whether you like it or not. Either that or we're getting divorced. You decide you want to be lonely. How rude.

[Brian Redban]

That's a great idea. I never thought about that. What use divorce? Like suck it or divorce? You're.

[Joe Rogan]

That's not a good idea. That's why you're not married.

[Brian Redban]

I say something.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I say, yeah. I say something ridiculous. And he's like, yeah, what a great idea. I'm joking around. He's like, hey, this is Dr. Let me write this down.

[Nick DePaulo]

Wait, when did he get married?

[Joe Rogan]

Five years ago.

[Nick DePaulo]

Was it five? Oh, I know you get kids, but I didn't know you. For some reason, I didn't think you were married.

[Joe Rogan]

I held off for a while. I think marriage is ridiculous. But I'm not going anywhere. I have kids. I love having kids. I, I, I even enjoy being married, but I don't. I think the idea of a legal contract with the state and illegal in more, more ridiculous is the idea that, that you bring a bunch of people that you don't even know and if you decide to break up, they decide where all the money goes. You have to split things up. And I've had some friends that have gone through some absolutely fucking brutal divorces where you understand what divorce really is. It's a Business. I mean, the marriage system in this country and the encouragement is involved in getting marriage. Getting married is about selling diamonds. That's a big one. And then distribution of assets, which a big part of. Go to the legal system. That's what people don't think about. Phil Hartman was the first one to.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's true.

[Joe Rogan]

Turn me onto that.

[Nick DePaulo]

But how about the. The flip side, you know, illegitimate kids and all that, and the solution of the family and how that turns out?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, what's legitimate and what's not? I mean, if you're together and you're the father and she's the mother, you fucking jump over a broom like they did in Roots, and you say, we're married. You know, I have friends that have kids that they change their names and they're not married. You know, they decide, we don't need to do this legally. You know, I have friends that got married, like, on a lark. Like, they're not really married. They got married by a friend, you know, like, do. And they went through a whole ceremony. Doug Stanhope did that. He got married and was like, a fake. And then, like, when she went crazy, he was like, well, I guess not be married anymore. Then he doesn't have to go to court.

[Nick DePaulo]

I didn't know if Stanhope got married. Yeah, he got married a while back.

[Joe Rogan]

It wasn't real, though.

[Brian Redban]

It wasn't real. It was just like they. They did everything except sign the actual papers. They wore the rings or whatever.

[Joe Rogan]

But if he went to court, if she took him to court, I bet she could.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

I bet back then, while they were

[Nick DePaulo]

together, she'd get all his suits.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, she'd get all those goofy suits he wears.

[Brian Redban]

Isn't there, like, a law if you live with somebody for over seven years, that's a domestic partner, that could be

[Joe Rogan]

kind of common law.

[Brian Redban]

Common law marriage. That's right.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is that in all states?

[Joe Rogan]

I don't think so. I think it varies state by state. But California, it's definitely. It exists in California. It is also a thing about being married more than a certain amount of time.

[Brian Redban]

Time.

[Joe Rogan]

I have a friend who was married for 12 years, and this, you know, towards the end, it was brutal. He couldn't deal with anymore, no kids, broke up with her, has to pay alimony for the rest of her life. Forever. She apparently. Because he paid for her for 12 years. I mean, she's like 49, 50. She might live.

[Nick DePaulo]

She's paying him.

[Joe Rogan]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Nick DePaulo]

He's paying her for everything.

[Joe Rogan]

Forever. He's paying her forever. Yeah, they were married when she was 30. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is California divorce law.

[Nick DePaulo]

I thought you're talking about America.

[Joe Rogan]

When you go through. It's. It's the People's Republic of California. When you go through a certain amount of years of marriage in California, you are obligated if you're the guy who's. Was it the caretaker? I don't know how they describe it. If you're the guy who's got the

[Nick DePaulo]

money with that friend be Kurt Russell.

[Joe Rogan]

No, it's a different guy. What was he doing? He. Kurt Russell was never married.

[Nick DePaulo]

They never got married again because of that Goldie Hunt.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, they both have money, though.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, I know.

[Joe Rogan]

My friend was married. His wife was just getting her nails done, bringing her little fucking tiny dog. Get it washed. He has to pay her for the rest of her life. He's married now to another woman and he pays her exorbitant amounts of money every month. And she lives in his old house in the Palisades, a sweet house. And she moved her boyfriend in. In. And when you're living with a man, then it's supposed to be, you know, he's not supposed to pay anymore. So he brings an investigator into the situation. The investigator goes and they. They check the house. The guy moves out. When the investigator comes, he's around the corner with a U haul. As soon as they leave, comes back around back in. And they go through this little dance where they do. If she gets married again, he doesn't have to pay her anymore. But then she'd lose out on hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. I mean, I think he pays you something like six or seven hundred grand a year.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, that's why. And I'm not saying this is justified, but that's why a lot of guys snap.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

I mean, same with it with all the, you know, child custody thing, you know.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

It all. It's all favored towards the mom in that case. And guys fucking snap.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, in some cases, I'm not saying

[Nick DePaulo]

it's justified, but they do.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. The systems are fucked up because first of all, these people don't know you. So if you go into court and, you know, it's. Everyone's trying to present their argument like they're the perfect person. I'm the perfect husband. I was the perfect dad. You know, my wife is crazy. You know, I was the perfect mom. My husband.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, they weren't there.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I've also had friends that their, Their wives, when they're Breaking up will file a restraining order and say that he was threatening and being abusive. And if it's just you and her alone, she. They can say all kinds of crazy.

[Nick DePaulo]

And that's where a guy would snap. Well, I mean, if you're going to ruin my life.

[Joe Rogan]

I have a friend who was a woman who was getting divorced, and her lawyer advised her to do that, and she was like, what? Like, she couldn't believe. She's like, no, he's not violent. I'm not gonna do that. But she was like, look, it'll. It'll favor you in court. You know, say that. You know, say that he was abusive. Say that he threatened you and you can, you know, and he, like, phrased it in a way where he wasn't suggesting it. He was saying, one of the best ways to ensure, you know, favor with the court is if your husband was abusive. Has he been abusive? Has he ever said anything violent to you? You know? Yeah, like. And she's like, are you insinuating. He's like, well, I'm just saying that if you did that. And she's like, stop. I'm not gonna do it.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, have you seen that movie Gone Girl?

[Joe Rogan]

Yes. Holy.

[Nick DePaulo]

That was kind of a good example of that.

[Joe Rogan]

Holy. Good movie. Yeah, dude. You haven't seen it?

[Brian Redban]

No, because it seems like a chick flick.

[Joe Rogan]

It seems like it.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, it's. It's weird. It's. It. I can't get past the holiday.

[Joe Rogan]

It's the opposite of a chick.

[Nick DePaulo]

But. Well, it is. It's. To me. I don't know. I. I have my own take. I can't watch too much out of Holly without seeing the. The angry feminist head rearing its face and everything. Yes. It was just an ex. Do you see how much hate if you listen to the. It was unbelievably well written. But. But that's a hateful woman who wrote that she hates men with a patch. But then they can justify it at the end by going, well, the woman's the crazy in the movie. That's what they.

[Joe Rogan]

Spoiler alert. Listen, don't say anymore because people, if you haven't seen that movie, it's a good movie.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, it happens in the end.

[Joe Rogan]

No, I watched it in a hotel.

[Nick DePaulo]

It ended already.

[Joe Rogan]

I watched in a hotel room in Vegas. I was like, by myself. And I was like, I don't want to go to bed, see what's on tv. It was like, one o' clock in the morning. I'm gonna watch this till I fell asleep. 10 minutes in them white knuckle in the pillow at the end of the bed.

[Nick DePaulo]

It was pretty good, but it was so slickly. I don't know, the dialogue is so slick. And I'm like, people really talk like that? But it. But the venom and the hatred towards men, that's what I was getting out of it. This woman. Oh, you got. Were you listening? You half asleep in a hotel room. I had two pots of coffee, me, I was sitting a foot from the tv, yelling at it, going, this broad is vicious. Well, but it was really, really mean and well written. And she's got books out. Her last name's Flynn.

[Joe Rogan]

Apparently the book is really good. Apparently the best is more complex and it's more of, like a murder mystery. Whereas in the movie, you know, they're condensing it down to two hours or whatever the hell it was.

[Nick DePaulo]

But you didn't see, like, the way she was categorizing guys, you know, his idea of a fantasy would be a reality show marathon and with his hand down his pants. You ever said like that about a woman in a movie, please drill you out of Hollywood?

[Joe Rogan]

No, but I. I just felt like they were telling a story and, you know, given the scenario without telling what the movie's about, it totally made sense. I mean, you know, it makes sense,

[Nick DePaulo]

but it's also coming from, you know, it's a woman writing that shit down that's coming out of her filthy hole. And. And if a guy ever did the equivalent, you couldn't get the movie made. It wouldn't get green lit. I'm just saying, I want equality. If you're gonna be a fucking douchebag, I want the right to be a douchebag back.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, it used to be. They used to be able to smack women in movies. Those Cary Grant movies.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, that shit happened in real life.

[Joe Rogan]

Together. Smack.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, how about, you know, who with the. Who sticks the grapefruit in his wife's face?

[Brian Redban]

Archie Bunker.

[Joe Rogan]

Who sticks a grapefruit in a movie?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes. You know, I can't believe I'm going, that's what I'm talking about. The caffeine. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

That would hurt your eyes.

[Nick DePaulo]

Cagney. James Cagney.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. He goes, I wish you were a wishing well and you'd sink or something. He sticks a grapefruit in his wife's face at the kitchen table. It's beautiful. I played on a loop. But I mean, I wish you. You know, it's. It's going too far the other way now.

[Joe Rogan]

It's all, well, you could Smack women in the face and they would kiss you afterwards. That was. Yeah, those days were different. What was it? What was going on back then? Well, you could just smack women. Was there a lot of women beating?

[Nick DePaulo]

They weren't so gunty.

[Joe Rogan]

Is that what was going on?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, they've bought into this feminist horseshit. They're gonna too full of themselves.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, but I mean, why was the guy hitting her in the first place? How about just have a conversation?

[Nick DePaulo]

She burnt his eggs. I mean, come on, let's be. No, I don. Of course.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Nicholas. How dare you.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, my God, this is horrendous.

[Joe Rogan]

They're gonna come after you, Nick DePaulo.

[Nick DePaulo]

Who?

[Joe Rogan]

The feminists. They're not gonna come to your shows anymore.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, exactly. I would hope they started picketing. There you go. You guys are great, man. You go down wishing stuff again. Watch it. I wish you was a wishing well so that I could tie a bucket to you and sink it.

[Joe Rogan]

Whoa.

[Nick DePaulo]

Maybe you found someone you like better. Oh.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, my God. Harder than I. God. That's all she said, is maybe you found someone you like better. That was palms her in the face.

[Nick DePaulo]

That was hard for the actress. I didn't realize. I didn't realize it was that hard either. You know where I saw that? On the support Sopranos. Tony Sopranos. Watching that movie at home. I think it's Public Enemy or something. And that's where I first saw that. I go, holy. How'd they get away with it?

[Joe Rogan]

Jesus Christ.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, look at his face.

[Joe Rogan]

Kind of hit her.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, it's like, you know, when Al Pacino slaps, you know who in the Godfather across the face.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that was like a palm strike.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

That was not just like a mush. The face, he had some, like. Some snap to it.

[Nick DePaulo]

It was the heel of the hand.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that hurts.

[Nick DePaulo]

I must have saw a different take. That really did look rougher than the one I remember. I take that bad. That was horrible.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, not only that, girls.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'm with you on that one. He was a real dick.

[Joe Rogan]

All she said was, maybe I found someone better. Maybe I found someone you like better.

[Nick DePaulo]

She sounded like Jimmy Dingle.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, she's being fairly reasonable. Yeah, she wasn't even screaming.

[Brian Redban]

See, but that's just it. Ten years ago, you probably saw that and was like, yeah, that. She deserved it. But we're all getting pussified in the

[Joe Rogan]

last 60 years ago. Brian, that movie's from 50 years ago.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's a long time ago.

[Joe Rogan]

More than 50 years ago. That movie is from like the 50s, right? Wasn't it?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah. Maybe even.

[Nick DePaulo]

Maybe even 40s.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, James Cagney, Public Enemy. I don't even know if that's Public Enemy.

[Joe Rogan]

Girls always had that. That old school hair. That old school?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that wavy.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, like that Fay Ray had when King Kong picked her up. Right.

[Brian Redban]

That was before flat irons.

[Joe Rogan]

And they also have like. Like fluffy around the end of their sleeves. Like, that was super common.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's like she's fisting a poodle.

[Joe Rogan]

Like, if your wife showed up at the dinner table and she's wearing a shirt like that, you'd be like, what the are you wearing that for, Joe?

[Nick DePaulo]

How about his pajamas?

[Joe Rogan]

His pajamas are excellent.

[Nick DePaulo]

Cap Guy. Well, Mike Brady, Snapping Harold.

[Joe Rogan]

That's like what you wear in jail when you're breaking rocks with a hammer.

[Brian Redban]

1931, public enemy.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, 1931.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, my God.

[Nick DePaulo]

I think that was it. I think that's Public Enemy.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Social media back then was a newspaper.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, right.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, I mean, there was no one. You know, social media between people, it's. There was nothing. Nobody had a voice back then, you

[Nick DePaulo]

know, kind of nice. It was quiet.

[Joe Rogan]

But it's interesting because you could kind of. You could shape society with movies. Like a movie like that where you see James Cagney hit a chick in the face with a grapefruit, Right? That would be imitated by people who want to see that movie. Yes.

[Nick DePaulo]

You don't think that happens now, Godfather?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah, it definitely does. But at least now you have, like, people that counter that. Like, this is horseshit, right? This. This gone girl is feminist tropes, you know? Or this, this gone girl is. It shows you the misogynistic, patriarchal society that we live. There's arguments. People can have their own side and debate it. Back then, you know, you watched it, chick got hit with the grapefruit. Then you went home and you hit your wife with a grapefruit.

[Nick DePaulo]

Now you hit her with a panini.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, how many people have watched movies and thought that's how to be. I saw this in a movie. So this is what you do. I mean, it's got to be pretty fucking common, right?

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah. Well, just look at all the Scarface T shirts.

[Joe Rogan]

Scarface?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. I mean, how many. He has a role model, huh?

[Joe Rogan]

Has there ever been a fucking movie where a guy was like more of an anti hero that became like a never, right? A drug dealer, murderer who's coked out of his fucking mind, became like an iconic cultural figure?

[Nick DePaulo]

No, I Know, it says something about

[Joe Rogan]

Wheel where headed, but everybody loved that movie.

[Nick DePaulo]

I, I like the movie, but I didn't love him. I wouldn't wear a. Give my kid a T shirt with his face on it. But it's.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that's what's crazy. You see a little 5 year old kid with a Scarface shirt, you're like, what?

[Nick DePaulo]

Kid's like, where's the Yale, huh?

[Joe Rogan]

First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the. That's still true to that bad guy. He's leaving the restaurant.

[Nick DePaulo]

Holy.

[Joe Rogan]

I know.

[Nick DePaulo]

Joe's doing a. It's dead on. I'm putting mine away. That was embarrassing.

[Joe Rogan]

That was a good fucking movie. It was a good fucking movie.

[Nick DePaulo]

How about me when I go to see that? I go to see it the day it came out. And so it was really crowded at the theater. This is my hometown in Danvers. I sneak down by the, by the ropes, waiting for the doors to open so I can run in and sit in the front for the next showing. The doors open. What do I see? Him falling in the pool. Oh, I just went into denial. I'm like, that's not him. That was just probably some side character. That's not.

[Joe Rogan]

Didn't know.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's what I said. Saw.

[Joe Rogan]

That's terrible. That ruins everything. Spoiler alert.

[Brian Redban]

Double spoil.

[Joe Rogan]

That's a spoiler. Was one. But he, he became a weird guy. You know, like later in his movies he became like this real overactive, kind

[Nick DePaulo]

of, kind of big.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, too big. Like we're like, you know, it just didn't. Didn't matter. Like he was. It was like always like trying to sell material or something like that. It just wasn't good anymore. Anymore. But you go like to back to Dog Day Afternoon, you know, how good was he? That was a movie about a transgender guy, right. Who's trying to get money for his friend to get a sex change.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right.

[Joe Rogan]

They're robbing a bank. And it wasn't it based on a true story, I believe.

[Nick DePaulo]

I think so. I think so. That was a great based on Larry Amros. Was. It.

[Joe Rogan]

Was good back then. God damn, he was good. It's like him and I watched some trailer for a movie. I almost watched it for a goof. It was De Niro and Stallone.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know. Grudge Match, Travolta.

[Joe Rogan]

No, that was. That was terrible.

[Nick DePaulo]

I kind of liked it. I thought it was kind of cute.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, good lord.

[Nick DePaulo]

I really did.

[Joe Rogan]

I bet you did worse than that. Far worse than that. Was De Niro and Travolta. Travolta plays a Russian hitman and Dairo is like some CIA guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

It was one word.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, my God, it is the worst fucking trailer. Like, you watch the trailer and you're like, who greenlit this horrible piece of shit that I'm watching here?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. And it does. What happens when the. When the two characters in the movie are that famous.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

That you're watching Dinero Chase.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Travolta. You're not watching a Russian guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, Me with a shitty Russian accent.

[Brian Redban]

Terrible killing season.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, it's so bad. But like, De Niro, over the last few years, it seems like they just give him movies. He's like, I'll do. Do that. It. Pay my fee. I'll do it.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Even the poster looks bad for that movie.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, it's so bad, dude. It's so bad.

[Brian Redban]

I would say with the Amish beard.

[Joe Rogan]

I would say play the. The Amish. I would say play the trailer. But we'll definitely get kicked off of YouTube for that trailer.

[Nick DePaulo]

Looks like they're hunting in Central park and they're pissed at each other.

[Joe Rogan]

It's such a bad movie. Remember when De Niro did that movie with, like. He did like a fantasy movie, like one of those wizard sorcerer movie with. What the hell's her name? The chick from Sharon Stone. It was. I think it was her. Sharon Stone and De Niro and some awful unicorn wizard movie. What was that movie that was called?

[Nick DePaulo]

Paycheck.

[Joe Rogan]

It was. I mean, what is he spending his money on? How much money is that guy? Have he.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, it's funny because not as much as you think, because there was a whole article a few years ago about him having money problems.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. And he just bought a bunch of property upstate New York. And now that.

[Joe Rogan]

There it is. Stardust. Look at this fucking piece of shit.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't even remember that.

[Joe Rogan]

He's a wizard or something.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't even remember that.

[Joe Rogan]

It got a 7.7 on IMDb. Fuck you, IMDb. Find out what Showgirls has on IMDb.

[Nick DePaulo]

9.6.

[Joe Rogan]

That's. That's a legitimately good movie because it's so bad.

[Nick DePaulo]

Which one? Oh, Showgirls. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Legitimately.

[Nick DePaulo]

What was our name? I checked.

[Joe Rogan]

Elizabeth Spurk.

[Brian Redban]

4.5.

[Joe Rogan]

That's it. Outrageous.

[Brian Redban]

That's about right.

[Joe Rogan]

But how does that one have a 7.7? That 7.7 is almost 8. You know, 8 is almost 9. Nine's almost perfect, right? That's horseshit.

[Brian Redban]

That stupid train movies. 95% on rotten.

[Joe Rogan]

What? Train movie?

[Brian Redban]

Snowpiercer.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. That doesn't make any sense. Did you see that thing, Snowpiercer?

[Nick DePaulo]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

It's one of those indie movies. People like movies that were made for, like, 50 bucks when they find out movies were made cheap and it was made in house. Oh, these guys made it. You know, they all got together, they chipped in, they started. They got a Kickstarter. Everybody gets real excited.

[Nick DePaulo]

They did it in Marin's garage.

[Joe Rogan]

He does his podcast.

[Nick DePaulo]

While he was doing it, they were shooting behind him.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it was. They. They do it in the background.

[Brian Redban]

No, I didn't even know about this movie.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Brian Redban]

Did you know that there was a sequel to whatever that one. It's called Little Fockers, where it's just a little babies.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right.

[Joe Rogan]

What the. Are you serious? He did the Meet the Fockers move movies?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, he's been cashing in. He really has you right?

[Joe Rogan]

He wasn't bad in the first one, though. The first one Wasn't that.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, that was funny. It was actually pretty funny.

[Joe Rogan]

But he's. What was the movie he played? There was. It was a movie that De Niro did recently. God damn it. I gotta go to De Niro's. IMDb.

[Brian Redban]

Las Vegas. The Family.

[Joe Rogan]

No.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, the Family.

[Brian Redban]

Big Wedding, Silver Linings, Playbook.

[Joe Rogan]

No, no, no, there was a good. It was actually a fairly decent movie,

[Nick DePaulo]

Limitless, where he played practical magic with Sandra.

[Joe Rogan]

He played some mob guy. And that's it.

[Nick DePaulo]

The one he said, the Family.

[Joe Rogan]

Which is it?

[Brian Redban]

Family.

[Nick DePaulo]

I think that's.

[Joe Rogan]

It was that.

[Nick DePaulo]

I think that's it.

[Joe Rogan]

The Good Shepherd.

[Brian Redban]

The Family. The Family.

[Joe Rogan]

The Family.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's kind of a spoof on the mob.

[Joe Rogan]

No, it wasn't a spoof. God damn it.

[Nick DePaulo]

The Godfather.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm not gonna know this. Not Limitless. Not Killer Elite. Not being Freelancers. No Big Wedding. No Killing Seat. No, that was the one we just talked about.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, Copland.

[Nick DePaulo]

Was.

[Joe Rogan]

Was it American?

[Nick DePaulo]

That was good.

[Joe Rogan]

What the. Was American Hustle? Oh, it was American Hustle.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, American Hustle, when Louie was in that. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

He was in American Hustle.

[Nick DePaulo]

Dinero was.

[Joe Rogan]

Yes, yes, he was good in that.

[Nick DePaulo]

What was he doing? I forget.

[Joe Rogan]

He was good in that movie. They were. They were trying to set somebody up, and he. He happened to know Arabic, and the guy was playing, like, a fake Arab. There was an undercover cop who's playing a fake Arab, I think.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

He was actually good.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It's like one of the rare. American Hustle. That was A. Okay. That movie, 7.3, American Hustle, which was a great movie. 7.3. Those twats, they're playing with our emotions.

[Brian Redban]

Never saw it.

[Joe Rogan]

How does that have a 7.3 in the. It's a good movie. American Hustle's like a nine. It's a really good movie. And what's her name? Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, good Lord, she's hot in that movie.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that was a good play.

[Joe Rogan]

What a good kid she is, huh?

[Nick DePaulo]

What a good kid.

[Joe Rogan]

What a good kid. Oh, good's coming out of that leak. I don't. I don't have any problem with that beautiful girl. But. Yeah, I mean, that's. That's one of the rare movies that he's done over the last few years. That was actually good. But that's what happens, man. That's a weird world. You know that world of the aging older actor guy who used to be the iconic movie. There he is.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he played some.

[Nick DePaulo]

God, I forgot about that. Yeah, that's right.

[Joe Rogan]

That's right. He was good in it, too. It was scary. He was legitimately scary. You give him a good role, he could still knock it out of the park.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah, yeah. He's an actor to the bomb.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Just.

[Joe Rogan]

I guess it's like not that many good roles for a guy like that. Or, you know, they go, hey, we got this movie. It's independent. Is it? Stop. Click.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

He's like, listen, Andy, my ass.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's not.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'm Daero, for Christ's sake.

[Joe Rogan]

I got a mortgage.

[Nick DePaulo]

But you mentioned. It's funny. That's an interesting thing about real successful famous actors. And they get older. And there's a movie right now, right, with Michael Keaton. About that. Yeah, about that very thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Did you see that? You see Birdman?

[Nick DePaulo]

Not yet.

[Joe Rogan]

I heard it's really good.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is it good?

[Joe Rogan]

Find out what that has on IMDb review website. Yeah, it's those guys, man. They get to a certain age, it's like, there's not a lot of roles. And women, it's way worse. Worse because women aren't even scary.

[Brian Redban]

8.7.

[Joe Rogan]

8.7. Damn. Birdman. Respect. Yeah. Like a woman like. Like Faye Dunaway, they get to a certain age, good luck.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know. That's true. Definitely double standard.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Especially if it's money. You know, it's like a. Like a big money movie. Like the. You know, she was a major league movie star, probably making ridiculous in her day. And then you get to a certain age, like, hey, we Got nothing for. For you. You know, you want to work. Like, Robin Williams was talking about that before he died. He was talking about why he went back to television. They were saying, you know, just like, there's no money. Like, you know, he was in his 60s, and people were coming to him with these roles that, you know, weren't that interesting, or if they were interesting, was an independent movie. There's no money involved. And then he started doing Stand up again. Remember, he did a special. Yeah, but Stand Up's one of those things. You can't take a decade off and then get back in the saddle.

[Nick DePaulo]

Exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

Is it weird like that?

[Nick DePaulo]

Absolutely. It's. It's. You know, it's. It's a muscle. Stand up. It's. It atrophies very quickly. You're not out there chopping away at it.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I remember I got knee surgery once, and I had to take a few weeks off. Took like three weeks off. I had my ACL reconstructed, and I went back on stage. I was nervous as fuck. I was like, whoa.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know. Isn't that weird? That's how you know it's still a scary thing to do for a living. Because when you've been doing it 26, 27 year, and you're still a little nervous.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's when you know this is still kind of a creepy thing. That takes balls. You know what I mean?

[Joe Rogan]

Especially for me when it gets nervous wracking is like right now, because I just released a special. So after I released.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know you're talking about. Put it away.

[Joe Rogan]

It's all gone.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know. Tell me about it.

[Joe Rogan]

That's where you're at now, too, right?

[Nick DePaulo]

Absolutely terrifying. And I don't live in the city. I live 40 miles north of New York City now.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

I got to drive in, in, and It's a. It's 80 miles a night. It's a real pain in the ball. It's 11 degrees out. I'm laying on my couch eating a slice of pizza, And I get 11:10 at the Cellar.

[Joe Rogan]

And you got to do three sets. No, I don't those days anymore.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, you know what I do? I go to the stand, this other club, and I. I do a full half hour. They let me do a full half hour so I can get something done. And it really came in handy when I. When I did this. Another census [e-mail] except for me. Yeah, that's for you. And I heard the stands. One of the best handing a billionaire. Yeah, it's a. It's an intimate little. It's a small spot. Some nights it's got a really fifi feel to it. It's almost like fifi. Yeah. You do a little anything a little off color and they're like.

[Joe Rogan]

Nick gets so angry, he'll say some hateful, mean, like, go out of you liberals.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, well, that's true.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, there's nights where I'm absolutely right. Wrong. But. But there's. But you gotta admit, even Chris Rock said.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, really?

[Nick DePaulo]

He did a whole article how it's not even fun anymore. The kids are so PC and they get bent. And this is coming from a black guy. You think he's gonna get in trouble saying anything? Give me a break.

[Joe Rogan]

Colleges. He was talking about college colleges too. Stopped doing those a long time ago, Joe.

[Nick DePaulo]

My second year in the business, I stopped doing colleges. Barry Cat sent me to Clark University, which is in Worcester. It's even liberal from Massachusetts school.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. And I did some stuff about Middle Easterners or something. Some kid goes, what are you gonna do abortion next? So that I said, I just winged a bunch of hateful abortion. And it's the only time I got off early in my life. They hated me. That was like. Honestly, God, that was like 1991, three years after I started. I've done a handful since now. When you do them, they request. I'll do them if they request me. And they know what. What's on. Going. Coming. I did one upstate couple. Couple years ago, upstate New York. And it was surprisingly, they were open to anything I was saying.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Because they live in boonies. You need to go to a shitty school. That's what you need to go.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's actually a good point.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. If you go to Harvard, you're.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, I. I did MIT when we first started.

[Joe Rogan]

Did you really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. But I had TV clean and they liked it.

[Joe Rogan]

It was really TV clean.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. And I wasn't saying anything and they liked it.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, Nick and I came up in the time just after Stephen Wright had made. It was this big scramble. Campbell is like that movie Stand up when Stand up stood out.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right.

[Joe Rogan]

France. Alameda movie. Great movie. Right. It's all about the Boston scene. And it sort of really accentuates what happened in those days. Because Steven Wright was such a rare talent that he came along and there was all these guys that had been around before him that were just doing it to be funny. And it was pure, like, there was no going anywhere. Like those guys were national level headliners, like Sweeney Knox. Gavin, you Know, Kenny, Ross, Clark, all those guys. Mike Donovan, national level headliners. But they never went anywhere. They all stayed in town because all they were trying to do is make each other laugh and like, get the respect of each other and kill the crowds. But this guy, Stephen Wright came along and his act was so unique and so weird that he got on television. All of a sudden he's this national huge super star. And so everybody kind of became like squeaky clean, like, TV guy. And that's. We came in right when that was happening. You were like a little bit ahead of me and right, right when we came in, we were like, why is everybody. So how come we can't be. You can't swear. Like, what's.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, I don't remember Sweeney ever doing that. Do you think Sweeney did it? No, he just stayed himself. He didn't budge.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he's like, no, not doing it. He was already a huge star in Boston, you know.

[Nick DePaulo]

But that's a good point, Stephen Wright, because the guy from the Tonight show just happened to be in Boston. This is all part of that movie. When Stand up stood out.

[Joe Rogan]

The.

[Nick DePaulo]

The guy that books the comedians for the Tonight show back in the 70s when Carson was hosting and it was the thing to do, he was in town looking at schools for his daughter and he saw the Ding Ho ad in the paper and he went to the Ding Ho. That was where. The first comedy club, that Chinese restaurant.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Remember? And so he said, I want to go. I'm coming there tomorrow night. So they made up a lineup and almost every comic in Boston went, went. And Stephen Wright was in the, in the mix. And he's the only one that didn't do that well. When the show was over, all the comics went up to meet the guy. They were trying to shake hands with him and, and. And Stephen Wright just left because he did so bad. That's what he says in the. In the movie. And he's the one who got the call.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. Well, he was so unique.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes.

[Joe Rogan]

That act, man. I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. Couldn't park anywhere near the place.

[Nick DePaulo]

Isn't that pot material?

[Joe Rogan]

Material?

[Nick DePaulo]

When I hear his stuff, I'm like, that has to be weed material.

[Joe Rogan]

Hedberg is the best weed material guy of all time.

[Nick DePaulo]

Do you know he lived next to me when I moved when I was in la, I moved a couple times. I moved to Sierra Bonita here in West Hollywood.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

And I move into this shitty building and the guy goes. And this is before anybody who knew Mitch was or he goes, you're a comedian? I go, yeah. He goes, well, there's a stand up comedian that lives right next to you. And I go, what's his name? He goes, I don't know, Mitch something or whatever. And I'm like, I know, I never heard of him. And then, you know, about, I'd say a month and a half later, two months later, I'm watching tv, I was on the road somewhere and he and my neighbors on the unleaderman. And I go, this guy's as funny as anybody I've ever heard in my life. This guy lives next to me. And then he did a joke about me because I used to bang on his wall. He used to play guitar or his wife or his girlfriend did. They used to have these sing alongs and shit. And I'd bang on the wall. I go, shut the up.

[Joe Rogan]

And, and, and Shockroft.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. And. And so Zoe from the improv. Yeah. She was in New York one night. She goes, she was there to help Mitch put his letter. She goes, you know, he has a bit. It says Depaulo on the napkin. It says Depaulo on the napkin. And that's the bit about me banging on the wall. And he goes, there's no doorknob come around or something. Something about the door opening and the wall opening. But I go, and I love that guy.

[Joe Rogan]

He's taking on the wall.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'm trying to watch, I'm trying to watch a football game and they're doing sing alongs.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Nick DePaulo]

And I felt so bad. We. I got him. I remember leaving him a case of Heineken or something like, oh, really?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that's cool. That's funny, man.

[Nick DePaulo]

But that broke my heart.

[Joe Rogan]

He was a guy, he was a guy that got a development deal, like, great. Stand up, right? Killer stand up. But then they wanted to put him on TV and put him in the movies and shit. And it just, it wasn't his thing thing. His thing was doing what he was doing. But that's the weird thing about Hollywood and stand ups is like they take a stand up. They go, man, that you, what you need to do is you need to host a talk show. And they're like, what do you have? Not.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that's right.

[Joe Rogan]

Show host. And they'll give a stand up a talk show or give a stand up a sitcom and give him some canned lines.

[Nick DePaulo]

And you're absolutely right.

[Joe Rogan]

But he, he did it for a little while and then was like this. Took his development deal money, bought a cabin in Big Bear.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is that what he did?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I didn't know that he lived in Big Bear, man. Man, he lived way.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he still lives there. I think she. Well, they still own it, right? She still owns it. And yeah, he had the cool cabin. He would just go to the mountains and hang out, you know, I was like, oh, I like that guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

I live in the woods.

[Joe Rogan]

Love that.

[Nick DePaulo]

That seems like comics. We like to do that.

[Joe Rogan]

I lived in the woods for a while when I lived in Colorado.

[Nick DePaulo]

I didn't. You lived in Colorado?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. My dog got eaten by a mountain lion. My wife got pregnant. The mountain lion, they didn't have anything

[Nick DePaulo]

to do with each other?

[Joe Rogan]

No. I could have killed the mountain lion and we would have been fine. I could have set that little up. But the ate my dog, man. But my wife getting pregnant you. We were at 8, 500ft above. Oh, above Boulder. Like 3, 000ft above Boulder. And it was really thin air. And you. If you're pregnant up there, that's gonna be tough. Morning sickness is brutal. It was like she had the flu every day, so we had to get out of there. And she didn't know how to drive in snow.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, which one was it, Joe?

[Joe Rogan]

It was all the above. It was everything. It was. We were isolated, man. We were in the woods and one of our neighbors got its his car eaten by a bear. And when I say what I mean, they kind of. Black bear. No, is it bears, when they smell leather seats, they don't know that that's not food. So the bear, really? Yeah, yeah, the bear got in. I bet I could find it. I bet I could find pictures.

[Nick DePaulo]

Fascinating.

[Joe Rogan]

Hold on, bear.

[Nick DePaulo]

I get cloth seats car. My car is fine,

[Joe Rogan]

Colorado. Because I saw the pictures online. I was like, you gotta be fucking kidding.

[Nick DePaulo]

Bear scare the shit out of me. I'd rather get eaten by a shark or whatever. The bear thing to me, yeah, I went ever since Legends of the Fall.

[Joe Rogan]

I can't say I like eating bears.

[Brian Redban]

I like they good.

[Joe Rogan]

I get them.

[Brian Redban]

Any more coyote problems, Joe, with your chickens?

[Nick DePaulo]

I got coyotes. You get chickens?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I got 24. I used to have 24 chickens.

[Nick DePaulo]

Have you ever met a guy like this? Fucking does acid and raises chickens and he kung fu expert, crazy.

[Joe Rogan]

I like experiences.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know you do. I'm just saying.

[Joe Rogan]

So anyway, this bear in our neighborhood broke into this car and just ate it. I mean ate the car, ate the seats, ate the dashboard. I'm trying to find the images. I can't find them online. I should have bookmarked it. It's the craziest thing you've ever seen because I would have think that a bear was wood. What's that? What's going on with that bear?

[Brian Redban]

When it was.

[Nick DePaulo]

Holy Jesus.

[Brian Redban]

It fell off of a trampoline and

[Nick DePaulo]

they shot it and fell. They tranquilized it and it fell out of the tree. No.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Landed on a trampoline. So it just started bouncing.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes, that's. I saw that. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Is there a video?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It'll probably get us pulled from YouTube.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah. There's people that own those videos. They. They get. Make money off the ads. So if you play them on a podcast, they put you a copyright. They show.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really? Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a pain in the dick, man. It's a real pain. Anyway, this bear just absolutely, completely mauled this guy's car. And my wife is freaking out about that too, because the fact that these giant animals and they weren't even that big, they were. They were black bears. Yeah, that's. What is that one that did it.

[Nick DePaulo]

Was it a salmon interior?

[Joe Rogan]

Is this another.

[Brian Redban]

It happens all the time because of people in national parks leaving like sandwiches in their cars and stuff.

[Nick DePaulo]

Period blood.

[Brian Redban]

Period blood.

[Joe Rogan]

Bears are so fucking powerful. When we went bear hunting, I was with my friend Cameron Haynes, and we were on the ground maybe 20ft or 20 yards, rather, in front of these fucking two bears that were fighting.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that's. I wouldn't do that.

[Joe Rogan]

It was the craziest shit ever. It was like watching a UFC with bears. It was a male bear trying to get to the female and her cubs. The cubs, when they see a male bear, they run up trees. Male bears eat cubs.

[Nick DePaulo]

Cubs.

[Joe Rogan]

It's one of the first things.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, yeah. And you don't want to be anywhere near a female baron of cubs.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly.

[Nick DePaulo]

They'll eat. They'll kill anything.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

What are you doing there?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, we couldn't move once we were there. The last thing you want to do is run.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

You don't even want to back up.

[Nick DePaulo]

No. Like, lay down and it's a big

[Joe Rogan]

thing about bears is about. It's about. It's about body language. If you back up, you pray.

[Nick DePaulo]

They know you pray they're dominant. So what do you do? Give them the finger.

[Joe Rogan]

You have to stand. Stand up. If bears come near you, you have to stand up.

[Nick DePaulo]

You don't lay down.

[Joe Rogan]

You have to move towards them.

[Nick DePaulo]

You don't play dead.

[Joe Rogan]

You have to get up and go like this.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Are you gonna do that? Really?

[Joe Rogan]

We did. You have to. If you don't do it, you get eaten. And I'm not bullshitting. They. They ate a kid in Rutgers.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know, the Indian kid.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

And then I made a joke about a bear in the woods. Well, he does now. He ate Indian.

[Joe Rogan]

How dare you. Spicy curry.

[Nick DePaulo]

That kid took pictures too. You saw the pictures?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. People like to take selfies with bears.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's my worst nightmare. I'd rather a shark or a crip.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, people have a lot of weird ideas about what bears are. They have these ideas that somehow the bears, like these cute little cuddly forest creatures that are eating berries.

[Brian Redban]

We grew up that way. Teddy bears. We should not give kids.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's a good point. Yeah, the teddy bears.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, especially like, what would you do for a Klondike bar? Yeah, Fucking Coca Cola bears. Coca Cola bears. This is a real fucking Coca Cola bear. That's what they do, do those goddamn polar bears. All they eat is meat. Deer or something like that.

[Nick DePaulo]

Now how does he get the blood off his fur?

[Joe Rogan]

He doesn't go swimming.

[Nick DePaulo]

Does he go to the cleaners?

[Brian Redban]

He dabs it with some soda water.

[Joe Rogan]

He swims or he just walks around Soda with blood all over his face like a G. He doesn't give a. He doesn't care what he looks like. He's a polar bear.

[Nick DePaulo]

I get blood on my coat.

[Joe Rogan]

They are goddamn terrifying animals. Animals. We played the video. Didn't we have the guy that was in that big plastic box, the giant plexiglass. Some guy for the BBC sets up this box, this huge bulletproof, steel reinforced box in polar bear country. And this giant polar bear comes over and he's trying to get him. He's trying to eat the box. And he's huge mouth. And this guy's inside this box, shit his pants, shaking the box. You realize how strong those things are?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, no, that's. Like I said, I'd rather be in a shark cage.

[Joe Rogan]

Have you ever seen the video?

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't think so.

[Joe Rogan]

Play him that video. Just kind of play him on this. Can you play it on that, Jamie?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Jesus. You have to see it because it's fucking. Goddamn terrifying. There's so many animals out there that are just unbelievably powerful and terrifying. And we have these ideas about them based on, like, cartoons.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Boo Boo. You know, like all the, like, really scary ones, like polar bears.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, how about pandas? They're vicious too.

[Joe Rogan]

They're vicious? Yeah. How about beavers? A guy got killed by a beaver this year.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, but that was a venereal disease.

[Joe Rogan]

You can't help yourself. You're a comic. To the bone. To the bone. All right.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is that the bear?

[Joe Rogan]

No, that's a. That's a white guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, hey, Skip. Ad. See that button? Yeah. Click that. There it goes.

[Nick DePaulo]

There we go.

[Joe Rogan]

Look at this. This guy in this thing. And if. Brian. What is the name of this?

[Nick DePaulo]

If folks want to watch dumb.

[Brian Redban]

It's called starving Polar Bear. BBC. We'll bring it up.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, God. So this jackass decides he's gonna sit in this. This big glass and, you know, bulletproof glass and steel box. And this bear just goes right to him. No fear. Enormous animals. Animal probably, you know, 1300, 1400 pounds. The size of this.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that's.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, God damn. This freaks me out.

[Nick DePaulo]

Look at the cute little face. And then he's gonna bite your head.

[Joe Rogan]

No, just.

[Nick DePaulo]

Holy Jesus.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you don't even know. Wait till he gets up there. He's just smelling it right now. He knows there's meat inside there. So he starts getting really close. Close. And then he starts trying to bite it. Look at this. This is where it gets really crazy. He starts pushing it. This guy's tightening down the latches. Make sure.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, good. Time to tighten the.

[Joe Rogan]

Meanwhile, I want to know how they even tested. Look at the size of that.

[Nick DePaulo]

You gotta be me.

[Joe Rogan]

How did they even test this thing? It's trying to get him. I mean, it is trying to open that thing up and get.

[Nick DePaulo]

This guy.

[Joe Rogan]

One of the only animals that actually see us as food. Yeah, I would want a gun. I wonder if he's got a gun in there.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, you have to have some kind of backup, right? Just in case.

[Joe Rogan]

If it does happen, I would hope someone who's filming that from a distance has something like bear spray or something.

[Nick DePaulo]

Look at the size.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, look at him trying to hug them. He's clawing at the. Look at that. Oh, God.

[Nick DePaulo]

See the teeth? Holy Jesus Christ.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, because they're not like even grizzly bears. They'll eat berries and grass and they'll eat all sorts of plants, but not.

[Nick DePaulo]

And then wash it down with human blood.

[Joe Rogan]

Polar bears don't have anything around except meat. All they're doing is just eating seals and the occasional hiker.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, they. They creep me out more than anything.

[Joe Rogan]

They should. But meanwhile, look at this. Swimming with one. The guy who's got his own pet.

[Nick DePaulo]

Look at that. Oh, yeah. This jackass and I went to school in Maine. They had fences up along the campus to keep the bears off the really

[Joe Rogan]

yeah, but those are black bears, right?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

They're still dangerous. Apparently, black bears are more likely to kill people than brown bears. Just brown bears.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, you're just being racist.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, what am I saying? Apparently. Apparently, black bears will eat people. People more often than brown bears will. Brown bears are just bigger and strong.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Brown bears will avoid you, apparently more than black bears will. But New Jersey especially, has a real.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know, I know. And, I mean, I live in Westchester. What's the difference?

[Joe Rogan]

And you. Why'd you move out to Westchester? What made you want to live out there?

[Nick DePaulo]

Honest to God, no tunnels, no bridges on the way into the city.

[Joe Rogan]

That is nice, but the.

[Nick DePaulo]

The property taxes are through the roof, and it's. But I love it. I love it. Oh, yeah. It's the worst in the country. Really? One of the worst. Oh, yeah. We mentioned, like, five different articles on

[Joe Rogan]

the New York Times, but you're in, like, that's. What. What part of Westchester without telling anybody, because people will stalk you up by the.

[Nick DePaulo]

Up by, like, Chappaqua area. Briar Cliff.

[Joe Rogan]

I was listening to you on Ari's podcast. He was talking about how your neighbor hunts in his backyard.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Sometimes we'll look out the window, and he'll be, like, walking through our.

[Joe Rogan]

Dragging a deer.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Covered in blood and. Love this guy. Love this guy.

[Joe Rogan]

Does he bring over meat?

[Nick DePaulo]

He gave me a venison roast for Christmas.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. I love this guy. Not yet. No. A couple days ago, they were late exchanging gifts, but.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that's cool.

[Nick DePaulo]

I love that. Oh, yeah. I mean, and we have the same thing. I got a small dog, and we have coyotes that, you know.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Let the dog out at night. You got to go out and clean, clap, and applaud to keep it.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, to let the coyotes know you're there.

[Joe Rogan]

And apparently, they say there's, like, certain, like, things you could set up that make a sound, a certain sound that coyotes don't like. And you set them up, and they can keep a lot of the coyotes out, but they're smart, those little. They figure out they recruited my dog. That's how.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. That's how he got away with killing one of my chickens. He became my dog's friend. Like, they go around my dog and, you know, they would, like, play, I guess, like, outside the fence. My dog would bark at him and wag his tail when he sees him.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. And when he killed a chicken and ran off with my dog. Killed a chicken, too. My dog had broken into the side of My yard, where the coyote was, somebody left one of the gates open. We have two gates. And one of the gates, he could kind of. He could shake it with his paw, and he could open it up. And he figured it out. And so he ran over there to hang out with his pal and go on a fucking. An orgy of slaughter.

[Brian Redban]

Was it you or whoever, Bert or whatever, that said something about the. The coyote limping that was trying to trick.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, that was actually not even us. That was the Sklar brothers.

[Brian Redban]

Sklar Brothers. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

We were all hanging out in the back of the Comedy Store, and they

[Brian Redban]

were telling us that Pete, pdc. He parked up in the hill behind the Comedy Store, which a lot of comics do. They park way up in this huge hill because there's, like, a street that they can park on and then walk down the street, the hill. And he said he was getting out of his car and there was a coyote limping. That was. He was like, oh, my God. Why is this coyote limping? And he was just kind of nervous. He's like, I'm just gonna let this coyote walk by me. And then suddenly, this pack of coyotes just started walking past him. Like. So they were doing the exact same thing with the limping thing.

[Joe Rogan]

They set it up where they make it look like they're hurt and they, like, they'll limp.

[Nick DePaulo]

So that's what Ted Bundy used to do to get girls. Yes.

[Joe Rogan]

He would pretend he hurt.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes. That's what serial killers do. They pretend they have a cast on their arm and they're on crutches. Remember in the. Ted Bundy.

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't know he did that.

[Nick DePaulo]

Girl. Girl comes over to help him. He's trying to put a couch in the back of a van. Oh, yeah, he's pretending he's got, like, a cast on his hand. The girl comes over lambs. Yes. That's like. That's like a. That's creepy. I didn't know. I thought that was a human thing. I didn't know. I didn't know animals were doing. They fake a limp.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they fake a limp. And they also become friends with your dog. And they. Like, my neighbor, he has, like, a beagle, like a little beagle. And he says every time the coyotes come near his house, the beagle starts wagging its tail. He thinks the coyote's his friend, and if they can get the dog outside, then they just maul it and kill it.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's creepy. Well, I thought it was just they smelled it and attacked it.

[Joe Rogan]

No, they're smart, man. They develop tactics. Well, you know, they're similar in a lot of ways to wolves. And wolves have a lot of like crazy tricks that they do to. To get animals. Wolves set up ambush like wolves will. They'll funnel like elk and deer into like a path. And then they'll wait. They'll have other wolves waiting. I don't know how the they work this out. I don't know how they.

[Nick DePaulo]

Probably the Internet.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, right.

[Nick DePaulo]

Give me an email.

[Joe Rogan]

What do they do that lets them figure out that this is a good strategy? And how do they know like who's going to be the chaser, who's going to be the guy that waits? You know, how do they coordinate this? But I guess when you're starting and the only way you get food is to kill it with your face like you work out. And that one pretty street smart. It is kind of street smart, yeah. Think of a coyote fake limping.

[Nick DePaulo]

I never heard that. That's unbelievable.

[Joe Rogan]

They have a real problem. This one retirement community. There's been some insane amount like more than 30 over the last year. Coyote attacks. Because they figured out in Arizona they figured out that old people are fucking old. You know, the coyotes realize this guy's not gonna stop me from eating his duck dog. And so they just run up and snatch dogs right off the leash. They'll literally wait for someone to be walking their dog. They'll wait and they'll see the guy with the dog and then just run, run right at him.

[Nick DePaulo]

You think after number 10 or 11, you wouldn't walk your dog in that area?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, especially if you live in Arizona where you can carry a gun.

[Nick DePaulo]

Gun, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Do whatever you want.

[Nick DePaulo]

Exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

Arizona is an open carry state. You don't even have to have a concealed carry permit. You can do whatever the you want. You can keep a gun in your underwear. You do whatever you want.

[Brian Redban]

No helmet and gun on your motorcycle.

[Joe Rogan]

No helmet and motorcycle and gun. Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Coyotes love the smell of absorbing Junior.

[Joe Rogan]

Just walk your dog by a motorcycle while you're armed. Yeah, that's it. Just. Just slowly all over the neighborhood, just idle. Just start unloading shotgun shells on these cunty wild dogs.

[Brian Redban]

I really wish we could get a motorcycle. I wish we didn't live in la cuz it's so tempting to get.

[Joe Rogan]

What do you mean we? Are we riding together? What do you got planned?

[Nick DePaulo]

You're gonna get a side car for.

[Joe Rogan]

I get one of those goggles on?

[Brian Redban]

Because there's so many people at the Comedy Store they're getting new Motorcycles lately, and it's just so like. And it's not that expensive. I thought motorcycles were like the price of a car. They're not that bad.

[Joe Rogan]

No, it's not bad at all. Dean. Dean is always a riding his. Yeah, I don't trust Del Rey. Yeah, that's a dope motorcycle he's got too. That fat Harley Davidson. That thing's amazing.

[Brian Redban]

See his police car one? Yeah. He has a police motorcycle.

[Joe Rogan]

Does he really?

[Brian Redban]

Police motorcycle. It's cool.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah, they'll love. It's kind of like sort of police colors. Yeah. With the sidecar side bags on it. That thing's amazing. I asked him about it. I go, dude, that thing is amazing. I go, do you have close calls? He goes all the time. Yeah. I got kids.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, Louie, when I was. I was living with Louie in New York. Right after we moved to different places, he got a bike. And. And sure enough, man, like, after. After, like three weeks, he was doing like 60 down, you know, by, I don't know, Columbus. So that goes. Get. Gets hit going through a. Intersection. Yeah, he's flying off his bike. Yeah, he got t boned. I mean, he could have been killed easily.

[Joe Rogan]

He got hit hard flying, got knocked out. I almost got a bike. I was going through the motorcycle training thing and everything. I was going with a couple friends of mine, and they wound up getting bikes. But two people I know gotten some pretty serious accidents. A buddy of mine fell. He was going through the canyons and he fell, fell and his shoulder up. And then another friend, Frank Meer, was ufc, one of the UFC champions. He got hit by a car and got launched 60ft in the air. Some old man just ran a red light, hit the gas and shattered his femur.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's the thing. It's. It's not you. It's the.

[Joe Rogan]

He almost lost his people.

[Nick DePaulo]

The other people driving that you don't trust.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly, exactly. I mean, crashing your bike, if you're going fast can be fatal for sure. But most accidents occur. Occur because you're involved with another vehicle. You know, unless you're driving like a psycho.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. I mean, but it's even tempting just

[Nick DePaulo]

to be like, you know what?

[Brian Redban]

I'll just drive around my house, my neighborhood, you know, like, I'll just go to the store instead of going nothing on the freeway.

[Nick DePaulo]

Gonna get an ollie to go pick up a sandwich.

[Joe Rogan]

What's so fun? They are fun. I mean, you think about it. You go to. I think about this when I go to like, like, like Disneyland with my kids and I'LL get in these stupid go karts. I'm like, look, you know, I, I gotta go cart. You know, I got, I got a sports car. I can drive fast. Like this is not that fun for me. This is stupid. But like a motorcycle like around your neighborhood is just like going on a ride at Disneyland, you know, if it's fun to go on a ride at Disneyland, it's way more fun to be riding around your neighborhood on a motorcycle. It'd be really fun. Just convince yourself, don't do it.

[Nick DePaulo]

Joke.

[Brian Redban]

But what's, what's worse is those guys that I think feel the same, but they get those like four motorcycle like where it's like a grown man, like a white guy with one of those four wheel motorcycles driving down the street.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, they should be, yeah, you should be off in the woods with that thing. Should be in the woods in Tennessee with that thing. Checking out your moonshine. See if somebody broke into the hut.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Running your trap line.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah,

[Joe Rogan]

those things get people up, you know, those four.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh yeah, A lot of paralyzed people.

[Joe Rogan]

Didn't Ozzy Osbourne his break back doing one of those? Probably they fall over on you. The problem, it's different than a motorcycle. Like if you slide on a motorcycle, if you're falling, you let the bike slide and you know, you get rug rash or road rash rather. But on those things, a lot of times people wind up getting trapped under them. They get crushed.

[Brian Redban]

They're so goofy looking too though. When you see a guy driving down

[Joe Rogan]

the street in that though, they're real dangerous. If you hit a bump, if like you hit a bump with like your left side and you know it flips over on top of you, you might get crushed, you know, you might get your body cavity caved in.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, here's trail Owens on.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

What is he doing? He doesn't have a helmet on. Jesus Christ. Was he cra. That's football injuries. Goddamn head injuries.

[Nick DePaulo]

Exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

He's got two wheels in the front and one in the back. Those are apparently more stable for some reason.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't understand why the hell is that?

[Joe Rogan]

That's like one of those things. They have two wheels in the front and one on the back. I wonder if because it has all those wheels, you don't need a helmet. Is that. Or is that like in a place where you need a helmet, you don't need a helmet. A lot of states still don't have helmet laws, you know.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it's sunglasses in a lot of place. Like you have to have sunglasses on, which Is smart.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's the law.

[Joe Rogan]

A bug or a pebble, I mean, you know, you have a pebble hit your windshield 50 miles an hour.

[Brian Redban]

Dean used to always say the worst is when you're behind somebody and somebody flicks a cigarette out and it'll go right in your coat and you're driving and just like you don't know what to do. He says that happens all the time.

[Nick DePaulo]

It does, yeah. Yeah. What the. Really?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I see.

[Nick DePaulo]

Does he live marble country? How many times can that happen?

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, it happens all the time on the road. I see people throw cigarettes out there, the car out here all the time.

[Nick DePaulo]

Wendy Leibman used to have a joke about that. Remember?

[Joe Rogan]

What was it?

[Nick DePaulo]

She goes, I don't throw my cigarettes out the car window because last time I did, the car behind me blew up.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, I always think that didn't say

[Nick DePaulo]

it was the best joke.

[Joe Rogan]

No, you always think that though, right? Like you get somewhere inside your engine,

[Nick DePaulo]

it's going to go on the tank.

[Joe Rogan]

Get in there and fucking lights. It's all gasoline and. Well, not only that, in la you have to be a real asshole to do that because it only rains once a year here everything's dry, as you know.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's true, man.

[Joe Rogan]

Start fires. They say all those roadside fires, they all get started by people flicking.

[Nick DePaulo]

Flicking a butt.

[Joe Rogan]

That's pretty sweet. That is pretty dope. That looks awesome.

[Brian Redban]

Three wheeler, that thing looks.

[Nick DePaulo]

It looks like. It looks like you could. The front could be the back and the back could be that you could go either way on.

[Brian Redban]

Oh yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

I mean, you could lay down this way.

[Joe Rogan]

It's a bisexual cycle.

[Nick DePaulo]

It goes both ways. Sure it does.

[Joe Rogan]

It's like Corvette sized tires. Look how wide those tires are. That seems like that would be, you know, not that stable. Yeah, I mean, I guess. I mean, isn't the idea that you kind of like lean?

[Nick DePaulo]

Where do you. Where do you drive that?

[Brian Redban]

People drive that all through la. Like I see it all.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is that right?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, not this exact legal.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I mean, how's a motorcycle legal? It's weird. Like motorcycles illegal. But you have to. You get a ticket if you have a. No seat belt on. Like I'm inside a metal box. This guy is. He's like sitting on that thing. Just sitting. Sitting and holding on with his hands, you know. You could ride a motorcycle, by the way, if you have one hand. How about that? How about you have one hand and you're just sitting on it and I have two hands inside a Box. And I can get a ticket if I don't have a strap around me.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's a good point.

[Brian Redban]

Another big thing in Burbank is this money making money. Legal golf carts. People just drive this around in Burbank. I see it all the time. There's like two or three people just driving down the street in golf carts.

[Nick DePaulo]

Boy, they're living life at a breakneck pays, huh?

[Joe Rogan]

What the. Really?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. And there's a lot that's become popular, I think, because just the gas mileage, you know.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, they're all legal. I mean, rather.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

They're all electric.

[Brian Redban]

I don't. I don't know.

[Nick DePaulo]

This is that the future? Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Electric carts. Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, the spot at all. Give me my pickup truck.

[Joe Rogan]

These electric cars they're making now, they're slowly starting to get better gas. Mile or distance.

[Nick DePaulo]

Are they under a hundred thousand dollars?

[Joe Rogan]

No, they're pretty expensive. The. The Teslas, the good ones, I mean, you can get like a Prius, but those are ugly.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's. That's what I want to get behind. Two broads and a golf cart. I'm late for an audition.

[Joe Rogan]

No gears, just a steady buzz. And 35 miles an hour when they're pushing it. Yeah, they got a new Tesla that goes 400 miles. That's like the newest, the latest, greatest one. They have a. An upgrade to their little roadster. It goes 400 miles, but that's still not that long, man. 400 miles on a charge.

[Nick DePaulo]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

Some hits the fan.

[Brian Redban]

Didn't that Tesla guy just get divorced? And now he owes. He's paying the like $20 million or something like that.

[Joe Rogan]

Elon Musk.

[Nick DePaulo]

Don't prenups work or what? Every time I hear about a prenup, it never works.

[Joe Rogan]

You could contest them for sure. And a lot of times when people contest prenups or any kind of lawsuit, people settle because to cost like.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, because at a.

[Joe Rogan]

Like the UFC right now has a. Elon Musk. Divorce makes him most eligible again.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, just got divorced and she will receive 16 million.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. She deserves it though, because she helped with it that company and she was

[Joe Rogan]

sucking that sweet sixteen million dollar dick.

[Nick DePaulo]

Joe, that's sex. That's misogyny. You're gonna get.

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't know. You're gonna be raised in the 60s.

[Nick DePaulo]

Aren't you getting.

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't know any better. I don't know any better. When I. I grew up, my formative years all occurred before the Internet and social justice. I didn't know Social justice. Social justice. I Was raised on James Cagney movies.

[Nick DePaulo]

I didn't.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know any better.

[Nick DePaulo]

I wish I could sink you like a singer.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you know the thing about those electric cars is you got to get those goddamn batteries from somewhere and all that. All that from those batteries. A lot of it comes from like what they call conflict minerals. It comes from Africa. Comes from like they have slaves pulling it out of the ground. Like that's, that's the big dirty secret about cell phones. Yeah. Lithium lithium ion batteries. A lot of that comes from either Africa or a big, a big supply they found recently in Afghanistan. Like they're gonna. They're gonna be mining people to mine.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know there's a lot of chemicals over there. Yeah. A lot of. In the ground. Minerals.

[Joe Rogan]

A lot of minerals.

[Nick DePaulo]

A lot of natural gas, yet no roads, no toilets.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. And you know what they say also in places where electricity is made by coal, it actually is worse for the environment to get your electricity to power a car and then use it with a coal fired electrical plant than it is to just burn gas. Because the gas they have now, like if you have certain. What is that? Jon Jones. What? Has a gas. What?

[Nick DePaulo]

No.

[Joe Rogan]

What?

[Brian Redban]

He tests positive for cocaine, enters rehab.

[Joe Rogan]

No way.

[Nick DePaulo]

Did that just happen?

[Brian Redban]

Just happened.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, no.

[Joe Rogan]

Jon Jones, test positive for cocaine, enters rehab. Oh my goodness. Dude.

[Nick DePaulo]

Now wait a minute.

[Joe Rogan]

Hold on. When you do coke.

[Nick DePaulo]

I was just going to ask you that. Okay, that was the next question.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't think that stays in your system very long.

[Brian Redban]

30 days, 20 days?

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Brian Redban]

Something like that. It's very short.

[Joe Rogan]

Is it that long? I thought it was like 30 hours or something crazy like that.

[Brian Redban]

Maybe. I'm thinking 30 hours, buddy.

[Nick DePaulo]

I. Whoa, that's. Let me.

[Joe Rogan]

Especially after a fight like that. I wonder if he loses his title

[Brian Redban]

quote from Dana. I am proud of Jon Jones for making the decision to enter a drug retreatment facility. He stated, I'm confident that he'll from this program like the champion he truly is.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay. That's a good thing to say. I like to talk to him on the phone, find out what he really thinks. We're gonna have an interesting conversation that I can't talk to you people about.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's exactly right.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, that's great. Maybe he.

[Nick DePaulo]

Maybe he celebrated the big victory. No, no. I'm hoping.

[Joe Rogan]

No, no way. Because they. No, no way. Because they test them after the fight, like right after the fight. They test him before the fight or right after.

[Brian Redban]

Right after December draft test. It says. Oh, and then he put it the Rest in my coat.

[Nick DePaulo]

So that title.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, I wonder what happened.

[Nick DePaulo]

That title is gonna be, you know what, Gonzo.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know about that because he won. I mean, it's probably a non decision, like, it's probably like somehow, I don't know.

[Nick DePaulo]

They gotta vacate the belt, man.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. That cocaine you can't beat.

[Nick DePaulo]

Here's how you fix. Here's how you fix this so you have a rematch a month where they're both coked up.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah,

[Joe Rogan]

it's a pretty amazing that he was doing blow and he still won. How about that?

[Nick DePaulo]

How about Joe?

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, he's the most badass ever. And that's positive for cocaine metabolites.

[Nick DePaulo]

How about his brother with the Patriots? Best pass rusher they have.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's amazing. A couple of tough mothers, family developed some stud athletes.

[Nick DePaulo]

Did they ever.

[Joe Rogan]

This is. This is really strange, man, that just happened, huh? Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

This is cool being with Rogan. When the nose breaks, you're great at that. I'm not kissing your ass. Beat.

[Joe Rogan]

Really? Oh, thanks, man.

[Nick DePaulo]

I was watching like a year ago and there was some guy getting the kicked out of him. And you go, yeah, but the guy's getting a little cocky. I don't know who was winning the fight. He go, he's getting a little too cocky. And you didn't even. 10 seconds after that. He get. The guy get knocked out.

[Joe Rogan]

It happens. Yeah. Wow, this is crazy. This is really crazy. Nevada State Commission follows the World Anti Doping Agency code. And this, he tested positive for benzo xylek gonine, the main metabolite in cocaine.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's the stuff I use.

[Joe Rogan]

So by saying that some. A metabolite in cocaine, it means you're talking about like really trace shape. Really trace. And he's already gotten busted in a dui.

[Nick DePaulo]

What do you mean really trace, Joe? Small. Very, very, very small amount.

[Joe Rogan]

Minimal amounts. Look at this picture. Tyro Bigams with Jon Jones body. Oh, it's begun.

[Brian Redban]

It starts.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Trace amounts of cocaine. I mean, he could have just licked a cd.

[Joe Rogan]

An old CD or something. Yeah, he could have had some money.

[Nick DePaulo]

Licked an old CD money.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. You could add some. They said when they say like an X amount of percentage of like hundred dollar bills have.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes.

[Brian Redban]

When I worked at a record store, we would get. People would come in to sell their CDs and I just remember I would pick out ones and it was just white dust all over. And I'm like, all right, we'll buy this one.

[Joe Rogan]

And you would lick them in the

[Brian Redban]

back room, scrape them Together. And we didn't know what we were doing. We were just like, dude, it has to be okay. What other white would be on us cd, Right?

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. Yeah. Maybe they would get, like, people that are like, blondie fans. They wanted to die, they would just sell them.

[Nick DePaulo]

She's showing tits in her video.

[Joe Rogan]

Wow. I am proud that Mr. Jones is addressing the issue. Okay. Yeah, well, he got tested December 4th. Okay. That's almost a month before. With the support of my family, I've entered into a drug treatment facility. I want to apologize to my fiance, my children as well, my mother, father, my brothers, making the mistake that I made. I also want to apologize to eoc, my coaches, my sponsors, equally important, my fans. I am taking this treatment program very seriously. Therefore, at this time, my family and I would appreciate privacy.

[Nick DePaulo]

I bet you would.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you know what, man? The dude is having a good time. That's what's on going on. He's the baddest on the planet. He's partying up a storm. Like, someone said something to me like, you know, all this crazy behavior and all this wild shit that he's doing, and I was like, listen, you got to be a wild to be to do that baddest dude on the planet. You really do. And Jon Jones, essentially, when it comes to mma, is the baddest on the planet. I mean, he just beat Daniel Cormier, who was a Strike Force Grand Prix champion who trains on a regular basis, holds his own with the heavyweight champion, Cain Velasquez. He said, you know, in a heartbeat he would fight the heavyweight champion, and he might be able to beat him. Man, who the fuck knows? I mean, he might be a better fighter if he wasn't losing weight to get down to 205 and doing Coke.

[Brian Redban]

Well, two. Two to four days is what's last in the system, Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay, so that means.

[Brian Redban]

So that means. So if we look at his. If we look at Jon Jones Twitter on December 1st 1st or December or November 29th, we'll see exactly where he's like, you know, hanging out.

[Nick DePaulo]

Where he was on the boat.

[Joe Rogan]

Where was he?

[Nick DePaulo]

Look at the cop over there.

[Joe Rogan]

This is very clever.

[Nick DePaulo]

Jesus Christ. Take it easy there. Yeah, thank you. I'm gonna go with Quincy. You and I just outdated each other. Might as well said Sherlock Holmes, Charlie Drew, Nancy True.

[Joe Rogan]

That's a hardy voice.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, my God. I was trying to think of a goddamn detective. Imagine it really is sad, Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay, let's go to Jon Jones Twitter page.

[Brian Redban]

December.

[Joe Rogan]

Okay, let's find Jon Jones.

[Nick DePaulo]

Cut to him with his face and a pair of stripper tits.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Jones. All right, what do you think? How far back you gotta go?

[Brian Redban]

So I'm so December. Wait, the test was December 4th. Is that what it said? So I would say I would go December, November 2nd, or first.

[Joe Rogan]

Let's go deep. Let's go deep into the honey hole. All right, December 20th. Tweets a lot.

[Brian Redban]

He just got back from Brazil. Game over.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is that seriously.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, it says, bye, Brazil.

[Nick DePaulo]

This guy just figured the whole thing up. Creepy Brian.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Holy.

[Brian Redban]

That's how it happened.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

And, you know, because it's trace amounts, I will bet you that it was probably something that's common, that he. Maybe he went to a restaurant and they had, like, a Coca Cola belief or there was some kind of weird, like, thing.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, I'm gonna throw another theory into it. How about one of Cormier's people is over there and sprinkled in his.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, right.

[Joe Rogan]

No. Well, November 30th, that's real Italian guinea thinking. So he got tested on November 4th. So December four day. December 4th, rather. So he has four days for it to get out of the system.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, about four days.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's it. I'm gonna start doing that again.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I didn't know that either.

[Joe Rogan]

It looks like Brazil's the most likely culprit.

[Brian Redban]

Absolutely.

[Nick DePaulo]

Boy, you guys put that together really quickly.

[Joe Rogan]

Partying up a storm.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah. Here's the actual quote. He says, bye, Brazil. Thank you so much for the great time. Now back to the boot camp. And that was November 30th and.

[Joe Rogan]

Yep.

[Nick DePaulo]

And there's a trail of blood going up the plains to his nose.

[Joe Rogan]

The little sprinkles on his Reeboks. Wow. Why? Lace is bloody. What next?

[Brian Redban]

Wow.

[Nick DePaulo]

Like, they get in a fight with him when he's coked up.

[Joe Rogan]

How about the fact that he was partying, doing blow, and he still beat the best guy on the planet?

[Brian Redban]

Brazil, man. You're hanging out that kind of butt. You're doing cocaine off of it. You know? That's some hot chicks out there.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Have a good time. You gotta be a wild man, Joe.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's why I don't frequent those places anymore.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, Brazil or cocaine places. You never been to Brazil? Not beautiful place, man. But the contrast between poverty and wealth is very shocking.

[Nick DePaulo]

They're like, right next to right.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, not only that there, you know, all the Hollywood Hills. All the rich people live in the hills.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

And the regular folks live down there. It's the opposite in. In Brazil, all the poor People live up in the mountains with this amazing view of the ocean, and then all the. Live down on the bottom. Yeah. So, like, they would have problems. They've cleaned up a lot of it, but they would have problems in the. People would leave the favelas and rob people and then go back to the favelas. You know, the favelas, like, there's some, like, extreme poverty, and they were really mad.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, yeah, they had the most, like, the worst homeless population on the planet.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's. It can get bad in some spots, but it's also, like. They're really nice people. Like, Brazil is fun, man. I really love.

[Nick DePaulo]

Patrice used to go there.

[Joe Rogan]

The food is fantastic. They have those chu huscarias, you know, where they have the Brazilian barbecue.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's like they come out with a Mace, and they cut the.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they have it here, you know. You ever go to the Channel, me

[Nick DePaulo]

and Patrice, like, great. Patrice on there used to go. We were doing shorties, watching shorties, and he brought me to that place. I go, dude. And this is when he knew he had, like, died. I'm like, what are you doing, man? The guy's coming home and cutting.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, he didn't give a. He just ate. Just ate and up his body. But in Brazil, they got real mad because they spent so much money on the World Cup. Millions and millions and millions of dollars to make these stadiums and bring all

[Nick DePaulo]

these people in with all the poverty, Right? Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm like, yeah. What the. Where are you guys getting money?

[Nick DePaulo]

You.

[Joe Rogan]

You could have been, you know, putting these kids through school and giving people food, and it's a mess. It's a mess.

[Brian Redban]

Cocaine is legal in Brazil. It is, isn't it? Not.

[Joe Rogan]

Not banned competition in Brazil.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, no. He's saying, in ufc, it's not banned.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, it isn't. Oh, okay. The metabolites are not banned. That's what it is. The metabolite, it's not illegal. It's like, if you have marijuana metabolites in your system, like, now it's legal, illegal. Like, there's a certain amount of metabolites you're allowed to have. They changed it by, like, a large number. It used to be, it was, like, you could have, like, a trace amount of marijuana in your system, and they could take your money away and fine you and take your victory away. Like, that's happened before. Like, with Nick Diaz. That happened. But now. Now you. You could have quite a bit more. As long as you're not high when you're fighting. That's what they want now, they think. Think you should be allowed to smoke pot to relax after training and all that stuff. But marijuana stays in your system because it's fat soluble way longer, like seven weeks. Whereas with coke, it's like a couple fucking days.

[Nick DePaulo]

I didn't tell you my marijuana story. When I came home from a dance club one night. It's right after. Just before I started doing comedy, I was living in Malden. Granada Highlands, up on the hill there. Those are nice.

[Joe Rogan]

Apart.

[Nick DePaulo]

I come home from the Palace.

[Joe Rogan]

Palace in Saugus?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes. We lived like a half a mile from it. Okay. I come home, my buddies all went out. I come home, shit fit. There's a thing of tomato sauce. You know, it's like one in the morning. I'm starving. I make spaghetti. I eat enough for like five people, okay? I wake up like an hour later and my ears are ringing and the room's going like this. I start fucking puking violently. I hear my buddies come in. I'm in the bathroom. I hear them going to the kitchen. They go, he ate all the fuck. They made rasta pasta loaded with weed and they ate this much of it. They said they ate, like, you know, a tiny amount. They were fucked up all night. And this is a guy who. I only get high at that point a couple times in my life. Now my roommate's talking to me, right. He's right where you are. He's like five feet away, but it sounds like he's yelling from a mile away. I was tripping on the fucking. They were gonna take me. They didn't know if they should take me to the hospital. I'm fucking puking. I'm swearing at him. And. And, and honest to God, it was a week later. I remember watching the super bowl and still being fucked up.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't.

[Brian Redban]

Because it's so.

[Nick DePaulo]

Like you just said when you. When you ingest it or poorly. Yeah, it's way stronger. And. And. And it literally is in my system for I don't know how long. I mean, you know, you can look it up, but I. And this is from somebody who didn't. I didn't smoke a lot of weed.

[Joe Rogan]

That's crazy. A week later.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, at least a week later. No, at least. I'm probably being conservative with that because it stays in. If you saw how much I ate, you know, if you saw how much tomato sauce. Such a grease ball. And, and. And they were like. They were up all night with, like, this much. And they were like, oh, no, you're

[Joe Rogan]

making the fingers like a hockey puck.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, forget I'm not on TV here. Yeah, about the. Yeah, about half the size of a hockey, but. And I was sitting there like, you know, and my ears were ringing and, and, and they would like I said my roommate's like that close to me and it sounded like he was yelling down a hallway. I was tripping on the THC or whatever it is.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's 11 hydroxy metabolite is what happens when you. You. The THC passes through the liver and which they think was most of the way people used to eat. They used to take hash and eat it back in the day. And that's like responsible for like a lot of the psychedelic writing and the rig Veda and all the Hindu scriptures. A lot of that was written while they were on eating marijuana or eating cannabis. Yeah, it's like. It's very psychedelic when you eat a lot of it. You trip your fucking balls off. It's not like smoking pot. Hot. You can smoke a lot of pot, you just get really high. But when you eat it. Oh, it does crazy things.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, I was a mess. I didn't feel right forever.

[Joe Rogan]

When you closed your eyes, you see nutty. Like hallucinate.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't remember that. I do remember the voices though. Well, no. Somebody talking to me being that close and. And it sounded like they were yelling down a hallway. It was freaking me out. I'm not a drug guy. A little blow like anybody else.

[Joe Rogan]

Your whole system must have been so up. That's so much like. I get scared hearing people talk about stuff like that. Like I start getting nervous. My hands are sweaty right now.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. What's the stuff you do? I want to hear more about this.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, dimethyltryptamine. The thing about DMT is it. It leaves your body really quick. Like 15 minutes later, it's gone.

[Nick DePaulo]

But how long. How long are you on that? Well, you're high.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you. Well, you're go. It's. You're sober in 15 minutes. Minutes.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really? Yeah. I might try that tonight.

[Brian Redban]

It breaks your brain forever though.

[Joe Rogan]

No, it doesn't.

[Nick DePaulo]

It does.

[Joe Rogan]

What he's ever done it. His brain's broken. So don't listen.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know Joe seems pretty young. He's expanded his horizons.

[Joe Rogan]

Trust me, you'll be fine.

[Nick DePaulo]

I heard you talking about it. Like when you one of your specials. You were taking questions and answers after.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

And you just explained the. I was in my car listening on the radio. I was Coming home from a gig and I go, holy shit, I almost want to try this stuff.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, it's a good thing to try in that it's over quick. So I took Tony Hinchcliffe. We did it allegedly in Austin.

[Nick DePaulo]

The guy that died?

[Joe Rogan]

No, no, he's alive. He's doing well. But it's. It's like. I can't explain it. You can't explain it.

[Nick DePaulo]

You explained it great that night when I was listening. How it changes your perception of everything.

[Joe Rogan]

It definitely does that. It definitely changes your perception of everything.

[Nick DePaulo]

How about your marriage?

[Joe Rogan]

I don't think it had any effect on that. I think what it does, honestly, is it shows you that there's more. That like, supposedly there's like multiple dimensions that exist simultaneously all around us. We only exist in this dimension. This is like what physicists believe, you know, there's like 11 different dimensions and it's probably that we just don't have the sensory dep. We don't have the sensory perception abilities to perceive these things. Like if you turn. Took a. An ant and you, you know, you held a book over the ant's head. Do you think they know that there's letters over there? They don't understand what the. You're doing.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right.

[Joe Rogan]

Like, they don't need to be able to perceive that. We have developed and evolved with our abilities, are perceiving what's in front of us all the time, Whether it's hunting and gathering or recognizing enemies. Like that's where all of our senses come from. Our hearing, our feeling, our touch. To have sex, make more people, to know when you're hungry, all those different things. Things. But it's very likely that there's a lot of. Around us all the time that we just can't take in.

[Nick DePaulo]

Sure.

[Joe Rogan]

And this neuro chemical that your brain produces when you take it in large doses, it allows you a very brief but incredibly potent window into what's likely there all the time.

[Nick DePaulo]

But what do you. What are you seeing visually?

[Joe Rogan]

Does it change that, describe it to you? Oh, yeah. The world dissolves. You know, you. You live in a world.

[Nick DePaulo]

Give me some of that.

[Joe Rogan]

Of jesters and like lights that are indescribable geometric patterns that are just infinite fractal. They go on forever. And it's the most potent thing you could ever explain.

[Nick DePaulo]

I would never.

[Joe Rogan]

I can show it to you in like an Alex Gray painting. This is like a little clearer. Yeah. Well, this guy does all of his. While he's.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, he's painting.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, out.

[Brian Redban]

Jon Jones Prom Pitcher. Snowball king is what it says on his.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, no, it doesn't.

[Brian Redban]

And that's supposedly real?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, he lives in New York, man. Yeah, Syracuse had a snowball battle.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's true. Syracuse.

[Joe Rogan]

Don't be rude, Brian. Seriously, this is the kind of. That you see, you see, literally, she should see shit like that.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'll go to a rug store.

[Joe Rogan]

That's great.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, my. He paints that when he's. When he's tripping on the ship.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, he's a. What you would call a visionary art artist. And he is very well versed in trip to mean experiences. But he's the best at like capturing those. Those images.

[Nick DePaulo]

And you saw stuff sort of like that.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly like that. Like, almost exactly. I would never like you see like that, but it's like moving and turning into itself and unbelievable. Like, I mean, but humbling. Like, you get out of it and you just have a different view of the world. Like your view of the world just completely alters forever.

[Brian Redban]

You've done mushrooms before, right?

[Nick DePaulo]

I haven't.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, well, I'll direct you.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't like throwing up even either.

[Brian Redban]

No, you don't throw up on mushrooms.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, my friends all threw up on mushroom.

[Joe Rogan]

Some people did it wrong.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, they're mixing it with garlic and tomato sauce.

[Joe Rogan]

A little chicken Pam.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, it's like a cremini, ain't it? No, it's not. It's like a portabella, right? No, you dope. You might have a cow's ass.

[Joe Rogan]

You've only done. You've done the accidental eating of the pot. A little bit of smoking and a little coke. A little.

[Nick DePaulo]

You know, Everybody in the 80s.

[Joe Rogan]

I never did it, man. I.

[Nick DePaulo]

You didn't do coke?

[Joe Rogan]

No, I avoided it.

[Nick DePaulo]

Really. You don't know what you're missing, Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

I had a buddy.

[Nick DePaulo]

You feel good, you get really angry for the next three days. Horrible.

[Joe Rogan]

Not interested. I had a buddy whose cousin was a dealer. And I watched his. His life erode. And this is when I was like. I guess I was like 15, 16. I watched this guy. He was a few years older than us. Yeah, he had graduated from high school and just fell apart. Just got real skinny. Was hiding his. They had an attic apartment. They. They lived in his parents attic or something like that. And they would just do coke and watch tv. It was a mess.

[Nick DePaulo]

He wasn't doing it right. Well, you have to be at a dance club with a bunch of.

[Joe Rogan]

I think he was doing it because he had a lot of it, because he was selling it. You know, so he had it all the time. And so I got to see this guy just erode, you know?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, you didn't miss nothing there. You feel good for like 15 minutes. You fork. And then especially with my type of personality, the crash, right? Oh, just depressed and not interested.

[Brian Redban]

I never got the crash. I never that. I never got the bad part of it.

[Nick DePaulo]

Because you're a cherry guy.

[Joe Rogan]

No, he's there all the time. He lives in the crash, right?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, exactly. But the chicks love it so much. That's the best part. Like, I used to just carry it around and pull it out if I saw a hot girl, and immediately you're in. In her house, you know, like my place.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, they really did.

[Joe Rogan]

It's so crazy.

[Nick DePaulo]

They did because they didn't get all sloppy like when they get drunken.

[Brian Redban]

Oh, remember our friends back in the day? They would just, like, put it on the counter.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. I have a friend who used to get it just. Just because he knew girls wanted it was the best way to get lit like a trap. Like, he would only do it if they wanted to do it. You're like, all right, I'll do with your. Hated it. You know, but he would do it because it was the best way to get laid. He's like, if you don't have coke, you're not getting laid. I was like, really? That's so crazy. But when you got it, God damn. I would watch girls run after him. Yeah, just run. Because they knew he had coke. It's like that term coke whore. That's. There's no. There's no coke studs. You know, there's no guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's a good point.

[Joe Rogan]

Banging fat chicks because they got a barrel of coke at their house. It's so true.

[Nick DePaulo]

I bet your feminists would say that too. It's not fair. We're. When we do it, you guys are dealers.

[Joe Rogan]

But it is true, right? Like, why does it is coke war is a very legitimate expression like. Or whatever coke promiscuous gal call it. Let's not call him coke horse. Let's try. Let's try to be kind here. Coke promiscuous, female, you know, but it's not like a coke man, you know? Weird, right?

[Nick DePaulo]

That's true.

[Brian Redban]

That's true.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, it kills dudes dicks, right? Doesn't it kill your dick? No, but too much kills your dick. No, he always says it kills his dick.

[Brian Redban]

No, I've never had a problem with that, ever.

[Joe Rogan]

You get that dick?

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, I got trouble.

[Joe Rogan]

Dick Trussell dick.

[Nick DePaulo]

The Hell's that?

[Joe Rogan]

Duncan with the guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

The guy on stage?

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. You want to show that photo on the show? Let's pull that photo up. Jamie. We were at the Mirage this weekend doing stand up, and Duncan was on stage and killing. I guess he was loving it so much his dick got hard. So he's got these pants on, tight jeans, and he's. He's. He's got a little woody. So.

[Brian Redban]

So crazy because it's so big.

[Nick DePaulo]

You noticed it. Did you notice it that night when he was on stage?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, I was on the side and. And I didn't see it, but look at that. That's. Ladies and gentlemen.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is that a stain spider?

[Brian Redban]

I don't know.

[Joe Rogan]

It's coming. It's in the middle.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's a perfect photo.

[Brian Redban]

Like, he got it perfect. Like, he's almost pointing it out because

[Joe Rogan]

it's like he's, like, amazed at someone sucking his dick. I know.

[Nick DePaulo]

He looked like a magician making it rise right there.

[Joe Rogan]

He has so much.

[Nick DePaulo]

What's he wearing? Levi? Quarter eyes.

[Joe Rogan]

Quarter eyes don't exist anymore. Does anybody buy corduroys anymore?

[Nick DePaulo]

Apparently.

[Joe Rogan]

Can you even buy corduroys? Those are, like tan jeans.

[Brian Redban]

But, yeah, there was a lot of fun times, man. They were doing Ari and Duncan kissed, which was one of the best things I've ever seen.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Pulled it off my Instagram.

[Nick DePaulo]

Harry Shafir.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they kissed when they knew that the camera's gonna be on them. They, Ari and Duncan kissed, like, when they knew the camera was gonna be there while the fights were going on because they were sitting in the front row right behind me.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't know Harry had it in him.

[Joe Rogan]

I didn't know they had done it until Brian sends me a text message with a photo of the two of them kissing. While I'm doing commentary, my phone buzzes. I check it and I see the picture and I turn to look at them and I held up the picture and it. Thank God it was in between fights because it was like, you know, a big promo thing. You know, Conor McGregor. They're doing, like all this and I'm crying, laughing. I mean, tears are rolling down my eyes. Watch this. Watch this. Watch.

[Brian Redban]

Look to the left. There's Ari, there's Duncan.

[Nick DePaulo]

Are you me?

[Joe Rogan]

Let's watch that again.

[Nick DePaulo]

That is classic.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, it's so funny. Got Instagram next to him, dot com forward slash, the Joe Rogan experience.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, that's the guy next to his dust. Not dusty. He's laughing his ass.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, Frosty.

[Brian Redban]

Frosty, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Who's the Guy on the left, he's our sound guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

A lot of them look disgusted, and one of them was laughing.

[Brian Redban]

And they also did some. Some Illuminati.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, yeah. It's not the Joe rogan experience. It's instagram.com joeroganexperience just. Just that. Yeah, but it's up there. Hilarious, man. Those guys are so funny. They're so silly. They have such a. They were on mushrooms, too, by the way. Oh, yeah. They're on mushrooms all weekend. They. They brought. Ari brought. Allegedly. Not true. I'm making this up.

[Brian Redban]

If anybody's listening, you're talking portobello.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, the sauce. He brought some shiitakes, about 9 grams, and they were splitting them, and we were up till, like, five o' clock in the morning. I couldn't do it. I can't. I can't do mushrooms and then watch people fight. I might pack up my. And go home. I might be like, I can't do this anymore. I'll call up the ufc. Listen, call Kenny Florian. It's over.

[Brian Redban]

I'm going to Brazil.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. I'm gonna go to the jungle. Like a one with my inner soul.

[Nick DePaulo]

I was in Montreal with Arie in this summer at the festival, and him and Metzger, I never saw so much. I didn't. They weren't straight for one minute the whole week.

[Joe Rogan]

He enjoys that one weed.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

Makes him happy, especially now that he's doing really well. Ari's a happy right now. He's. He's having so much fun. His life is fantastic right now. He's doing so well because Ari, man, that guy, he worked hard. He worked hard for a long time, but his comedy's so goddamn good right now, and it's good because of hard work. It's beautiful to see, man. I love watching a guy just really, like, pull it all together and. And I mean, just through sheer. I've known Ari since he was an open mind Miker, you know, I became friends with him when he was working at the Door at the Comedy Store, so. And through sheer will and hard work, he's a great comic now. I love that. I love. Like that.

[Nick DePaulo]

Absolutely.

[Joe Rogan]

I love seeing that happen.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, he's a fun dude. I was watching him at the. At the festival. Him and. Yeah, him and Metzger, they were tweeting before the festival about joking about working out with me, and they were making giant deposit. We'll probably smoke enough DePaul. I'm like, I didn't even really know that anything about these two guys. I know they're funny cats, but I didn't know how much. I'm like, what are all these weed jokes? They're tweeting about weed and me being, like, a straight guy. Who the fuck they think they are? And then I get up the festival, man, and they were just the whole time.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you got to be careful, too, in Montreal, because it's not legal. Is that right? No. And you get busted with weed, and then, you know, they deport you. You're fucks ville because.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right. No more fans.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you can't come back either. I mean, they'll, you know, if you get caught with drugs. Like, in some parts of Canada, it's pretty much legal in Toronto, and it's pretty close to legal in Vancouver.

[Nick DePaulo]

I was gonna say Vancouver, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

BC, Though. I mean, I was in a documentary called the Union that was based on the economy of. The documentary is based on how much marijuana is involved in the economy of British Columbia. And it's everything. It's a. If they, if they pulled weed out, if we didn't exist, British Columbia would be fucked. Like, so much of the money that flows is involved with marijuana. Huge part of it. And this is a documentary by my friend Adam Scorgi, who just did a recent one called the Culture High that Brian was in, too. And it's. He's just got these great documentaries that show, like, first of all, the hypocrisy involved in making weed illegal while alcohol is legal, whether you smoke weed or not. Not. It's stupid. And they, they just highlight how stupid it is, but it just shows you, like, how. So British Columbia, it's pretty. Pretty close to legal, but Montreal, not so much. Montreal is a little more tricky.

[Brian Redban]

And it's scary, too. A lot of people. What a lot of people do is keep, like, old joints in their ashtrays, in their cars and things like that. You could get pulled over and get a DUI and then not be allowed to go back into Canada because they want to let you have DUIs. It's. I, I, I saw my. My car the other day, and I had, like, a joint sitting my back seat, and I'm like, dude, I need to be. Not be this sloppy because I always forget about the DUI aspect, that they can get you a DUI for just being stoned and driving.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, not only that, they're trying to crack down on that more because, look, the whole deal with DUIs, there's two things going on. One, they're trying to keep people from driving and smashing into people, and people Dying. But two, they got to make collars. They're trying to make arrests. They get, they have, have, like, they have a schedule that they have to adhere to. They.

[Nick DePaulo]

Quotas.

[Joe Rogan]

They have quotas which should be illegal because like, what the would they do if everybody decided we won't break any laws for a year? No one breaks a law for a year. What would they do? Would they just lay off all the cops or would they treat them like firemen? Would they just sit back and wait for something to happen? You know, nobody rests, nobody says, hey, it hasn't been a fire in six months. How about we cut back on the fireman? Fuck you. You know, we know what it's like when there's a fire. Keep the fucking fireman ass on. But if there was no laws being broken and the money wasn't coming in from the cops to justify spending the money, you know, on salaries and all that jazz, I wonder what they would do if we reach a point in our culture where everyone's doing mushrooms all the time and no one cares. Any crimes, no cops. We hear what they're doing now in New York City, cops are saying that they're not going to arrest anybody unless it's absolutely necessary.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Which is like, what the fuck does that mean? You were arresting people when it wasn't necessary. Isn't that a part of the goddamn problem? I mean, they're sort of admitting that everybody was right in that, that when they arrested that Eric Gardner guy, like arrested some guy for selling loose cigarettes. Like, isn't there someone selling crack somewhere? Is there someone beating babies?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, but the city argument there is. That's how tax hungry de Blasio and the leftists are, that they go after, they, they, they suggest that they, that the cops enforce those laws. So because, because of taxes, they were losing so much money with illegal cigarettes.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Cuz they tax crazy in New York City.

[Joe Rogan]

How much money could they be losing?

[Nick DePaulo]

A lot.

[Joe Rogan]

Legal cigarettes.

[Nick DePaulo]

A lot. Really? Yes, yes.

[Joe Rogan]

So stupid.

[Nick DePaulo]

But that's how obsessed they are with tag.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, that's revenue, that it's a left wing thing. That the left wing police or the left wing mayor is responsible for what we think of as a right wing act.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right.

[Joe Rogan]

Of arresting someone. It's kind of funny, right? Yeah, because like left wing, like left leftist ideology would be that, you know, these are racist cops that are doing. But maybe it's the, it really is a tax issue, right?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It's forcing these guys to do.

[Nick DePaulo]

A lot of people say that.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. And now the cops hate him. They're all turning their back on him.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, he's a dick. I. I just.

[Joe Rogan]

I know nothing about him.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, he's just a. He went to Cuba on his honeymoon. That's all you need to know.

[Joe Rogan]

He did.

[Nick DePaulo]

But. Yeah, and he helped the Sandinistas. He's a Marxist. This, Back in the day. Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Really?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Holy shit.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. He's as far fucking left as they come. And. Which is whatever.

[Brian Redban]

But.

[Nick DePaulo]

But hey, New York voted for him. Whatever. You get what you, you know, you get what you.

[Joe Rogan]

New York is very left. Oh, it's always been really left.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Well, it's the two coasts. It's here and, you know, and, And, I mean, Chicago's liberal, but not like that. Not like.

[Joe Rogan]

But New York is also aggressive. It's a very strange place. It's like, there's aggressive. There's progressive and aggressive aggressive. There's like, you got your extreme left, like Williamsburg and, you know, these, these Brooklyn people that are like, you know. Yeah, everything is, like, super left. But then you also have, like, some. I'm. I saw more racism when I lived in New York than any other place I lived ever. The word nagger just came flying out of people's mouths like they had racial Tourette's. Like, I, I really. When I lived in Boston, I didn't hear nearly as much racism as when I.

[Nick DePaulo]

Where were you hearing that in New York?

[Joe Rogan]

Pool halls, boxing gyms, martial arts places. Yeah. All those stupid places I was hanging out at. Maybe I was the wrong. Hanging out with the wrong people, but I just heard a lot of racism, a lot of road gigs. I would hear racism and a lot of road gigs. It just seemed more accepted in New York than it was in Boston. What, do you think Boston's more racist?

[Nick DePaulo]

No, I don't know. I, I just. I don't hear the word anywhere come out of white people ever.

[Joe Rogan]

They're scared to say it around you. That's what it is.

[Brian Redban]

Except the bedroom.

[Nick DePaulo]

I better. Him in the car.

[Joe Rogan]

Shit like that. When someone cuts you off, it comes out of your own mouth. But it seems like there's a weird thing going on right now in New York where they're trying to, like, find a comfortable, happy place, you know?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, well, yeah, the mayor, whatever.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, the stopping. Political. Stop and search, all that. Stop and search.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, he made, he made all that an issue. He. He. While he was campaigning to become mayor, he painted the cops as bad guys and then coming out and saying, well, I have a son who's black. And I had to sit him down. So you have to be careful around cut. That's a fucking slap in the face to cops. You're going to tell me you cop, especially a white guy that. That goes into the projects every night and risks his life to protect black people from other black people. He's racist. Come on.

[Joe Rogan]

I'm not.

[Nick DePaulo]

Obviously there's bad cops. You know, it's not. Every group has shitty people in it. And this guy painted them, you know, as the bad guys. And then you get Sharpton involved, who's a scumbag. I don't care what anybody says.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

I mean, you sit him next to the police commissioner on, you know, first meeting you have, he's a Sharpton.

[Joe Rogan]

He's a race pen.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's how he makes his living.

[Joe Rogan]

And he's also a charlatan. I mean, the idea that that guy is respected at all. You see him on CNN, in the

[Nick DePaulo]

White House 80 times the last. It's ridiculous.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, that the black community had Martin Luther King, who's, like, universally praised, a great leader, and now they have Al Sharpton.

[Nick DePaulo]

You think Martin Luther King would.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, you can't have Jesse respect anymore. You notice that, right? Jesse Jackson's a fucking pariah. You know why? Because he got buckets busted. But scamming all these companies out of.

[Nick DePaulo]

And that's what Sharpton does.

[Joe Rogan]

Exactly.

[Nick DePaulo]

It was on the. You know, that's what he does. He shakes down Pepsi. Goes to Pepsi and says, you don't have enough people. Black people working. We're gonna pick it.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

And then they. They send money to his action committee.

[Joe Rogan]

Coalition.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, National Action Network and.

[Joe Rogan]

But you don't hear about Jesse Jackson anymore. And then his son got busted. Remember? Jesse Jackson's son?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Jail, Right.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Brian Redban]

He.

[Nick DePaulo]

He had mental problems. His son, like, mentally ill. Oh, really? He was on medication and stuff. Oh, yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

It's just sad that the black community doesn't have, like, a real powerful, respected civil rights leader today. You know, Al Sharpton will always be defined by that Tawana Brawley incident. And then, I mean, you can just quote Pick, you could quote mine. A million things that he said that are ridiculous, you know, about how black people can be racist. It's only white people that could be racist. Like, yeah, stupid. Like that. Like, come on, man. Everybody. Everybody could be racist.

[Nick DePaulo]

Exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

Chinese people could be racist, you know, Peruvians could be. What are you talking about? Like, racism is not specific to, like, one different nationality. It's. It's the whole thing about being a Cop, in my opinion, is that being a cop is almost a job that no one can do. It's right to have that kind of power and a gun and then to see violence and crime and people lying

[Nick DePaulo]

to you Every day at their worst. You see people at their worst every day?

[Joe Rogan]

Day, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

You know, and when you do all the, all the statistics and, and how many times cops interact, literally, they do their job right. 99.9% of the time. I mean it of course is bad ones here and there.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. But if you have 99.9% and they're interacting with a thousand people a day, you know, that's right.

[Nick DePaulo]

12 million a year.

[Joe Rogan]

You're getting a lot of fucking bad interactions. The ones that make the paper.

[Nick DePaulo]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[Joe Rogan]

It's just a job that's like almost impossible for a person.

[Nick DePaulo]

It's thankless. That's why they should be treated with respect, in my opinion.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. And it's not only just thankless, it's also like the fucking stress the PTSD those guys must be under.

[Nick DePaulo]

They commit suicide at an unbelievable rate.

[Joe Rogan]

Unbelievable rate.

[Nick DePaulo]

I got buddies of cops.

[Joe Rogan]

Cops and soldiers very similar in that way. They, they both have very high rates of suicide.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

And they both see ridiculous amounts of shit. It's just almost like, seems like there should be a better way, but I don't see a better way. I mean, I mean, I don't see how you could live in a world that doesn't have cops. I mean, there's people that think, oh, we should live it. I'm an anarchist.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's hilarious to me.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

Someone who's never point out where that's worked even.

[Joe Rogan]

They must have never met an asshole, you know, you never have. It just. Well, they're in denial then.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that's what I think.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, it's also like a cute thing to say. It puts you in like a very progressive camp and you know, a very high level thinkers, elite leftist thinkers, you know, I'm an anarchist and I believe that we should all be free, there should be no laws and let the market decide the fuck out of here.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, that all sounds good in theory, but then when the rubber hits the road, it all falls apart.

[Joe Rogan]

That's how the Mongols came about.

[Nick DePaulo]

If there was another. If you can point to another system of government that works better than this, I'll be glad to fucking open my ears.

[Joe Rogan]

How about a system of government that works at all? It seems like we have. When people get together as a large amount of people, you're still always going to Have a certain amount of chaos. Us.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Certain amount of crime, certain amount of people doing they shouldn't be doing. A certain amount of victimization. And even look at the that's going on right now. We're finding out about Bill Cosby. A guy with money, a guy with fame, a guy with everyone loves. He's still doing creepy, shitty things like you. You have to have a certain amount of law. You have to. Because even a guy like that is doing up.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's right. It. Well, it could. It's about humanity. We're flawed.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

And, you know, that's why we all

[Joe Rogan]

have to do mushrooms in dmt.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, dude, listening to you that night, I was ready to go find some, but all the stores are closed.

[Joe Rogan]

It's very difficult to find in a store. You gotta go to the back. It's like buying Cuban cigars. You gotta know a guy. Are we gonna be able to get Cuban cigars now? How's that work?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes, supposedly.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. When is that gonna.

[Nick DePaulo]

The only plus to this thing.

[Joe Rogan]

I, I got a. Almost got in trouble taking some back. I, I, at the last minute, I didn't take some back from Montreal. And then the guy at the airport literally asked me, you got any cigars in there? I go, what? Like, I must have smelled like a cigar or something. I don't know what happened. I go, what? And he goes, did you bring back any cute. I'm just asking you because they are illegal. I go, no, I definitely did not bring back anything. And they opened up my bag and they looked, there's nothing in there. But I was like, oh, like, this is real. Like, they actually bust people. You go to jail for having a

[Brian Redban]

cigar, it's a taste any different for real.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know. It's one of those things.

[Joe Rogan]

One of those things, like having an alligator on your shirt, right? You know, like, these are Cubans. Oh, yeah. I don't know, man. Kevin James and I used to smoke a lot of cigars together, and he didn't like Cubans. He's like, they're too strong. They'll knock you on your ass. Like, they're certain, Certain Cuban, like, punch. Like, that's one of them. And there's a few Hoyle de Monterey, you know, Double Coronas, these big fat stogies. They'll knock your dick out of the dirt. They make you high.

[Nick DePaulo]

You know, I used to chew tobacco in college.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. Did you have, like, the dip or the everything?

[Nick DePaulo]

We had the dip. We had the Levi Garrick leaves.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that's the real.

[Nick DePaulo]

That was The. There was girls up there chewing. No, I'm at the library one night here. I look behind me. It's a cute girl spitting into a cup. But yeah. Levi Garrett. The. The leaves.

[Joe Rogan]

And that's the real.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, my gosh.

[Joe Rogan]

Bags.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yes. And I'd never done that till I got up there and. But then I stopped doing that. And when I got out of college at my buddy's house, he had some skull. So I put a pinch. I put a, you know, pinch in and I turned white. It felt like I was seasick. I got all sweaty and shit. It's like, when you're young, you can handle that, all this stuff. Well, I just was like, what the. I'm gonna puke.

[Joe Rogan]

When I was a kid, I was probably like 12 or 13. I was really into Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn and I wanted to try chewing tobacco because. Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Fin. Those moms. So I kind of like a. It was like a square. Like a little brownie of chewing tobacco. And you break a piece off and put in your mouth. 12. I don't know how I got it. First of all, why is someone selling me chewing tobacco? Because I was. I guess it was legal to get. I don't know how the. I got. I don't know how I got it. Like, now that I'm thinking about it, but I remember chewing it and puking my brains out. The saliva build up in my mouth. I was like, yeah, no.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah, I did that too.

[Joe Rogan]

I can taste it. I. You know how, like, for a long time I couldn't drink Jack Daniels because

[Nick DePaulo]

you got sick on it as a kid.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, we got sick on it. Now I would smell it and I would get sick just smelling it. But that. I could taste that chewing tobacco right now, if I think about it and almost throw up.

[Nick DePaulo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

Cherry skull.

[Joe Rogan]

How about those little packets? Like a tea bag.

[Nick DePaulo]

You're right. Yeah, let's put them in. Yeah, that's pretty bad.

[Joe Rogan]

But don't those give you, like massive mouth cancer, though?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, yeah, that's the thing.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, they all do a video. That guy. Ever see that guy who got his jaw removed? Like, you would go to, like, do these public service announcements at schools where kids would be.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, snuff.

[Joe Rogan]

He had like. He was like, no, some square jawed Captain America looking. And then all of a sudden he's got like, no chin. He's like. Half his tongue was removed. I lost half my tongue when I was doing tobacco.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know you want to look like A baseball player.

[Joe Rogan]

But it's not cool. Everything's numb to him. Food tastes like.

[Nick DePaulo]

Can't whistle tastes like it falls out the of his.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

All in his side.

[Joe Rogan]

Sloppy side of his face.

[Brian Redban]

What's crazy is that they would advertise not only candy cigarettes to kids but also Big Lead Chew which is like.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know the chewing gum is.

[Brian Redban]

That kind of is the reason why I started it. Yeah, he's like, oh yeah, like the baseball players. Remember Big Lee Chew. This is the real stuff.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, it's gum, right? Like. Like shavings. Like gum shavings.

[Brian Redban]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's pretty evil.

[Joe Rogan]

A lot of places they made those little candy cigarettes illegal though, didn't they?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Redban]

I don't think you could buy them anywhere, can you? Where they're like.

[Joe Rogan]

It's weird. It's weird that the like candy cigarette

[Nick DePaulo]

and a fake gun.

[Joe Rogan]

If the candy people were involved in the tobacco industry then it would make sense.

[Nick DePaulo]

Like right.

[Joe Rogan]

You know, then you would go ahead probably were. There's a direct correlation. That was the most up police brutality thing was that 12 year old kid that got shot with having a fake gun in Cleveland. You know that one?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

They shot him within two seconds of seeing him. They got out of the car and just started unload. Don't drop the gun. Didn't say anything, just started.

[Nick DePaulo]

He didn't point it at him.

[Joe Rogan]

I don't know what the happened. I don't know. I. I wasn't there.

[Nick DePaulo]

Cuz you have a split second. We. So we did a thing on the Chris Rock Show. We did a sketch about that. I always played a cop. Every.

[Joe Rogan]

How weird.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, I mean every. Every sketch. But that was one of the things because it was a shooting back then. Then. And that was the sketch because somebody recently get shot. The guy had a banana. Literally had a banana. I was reading this in the paper and I freaked out because we did a sketch on Chris Rock where we were cops and they were holding up pictures. What's this? And it was a banana. That was the whole. You know. And we'd go it's a gun. Picture of a bike. It's a gun. It was really. It was really. It was really funny. But then I read some guy literally had like a banana wrapped in tinfoil or something. But you're a cop out there. You have two seconds to make up your mind. Mine, I mean what are you gonna do? Oh, you get shot.

[Joe Rogan]

That's true. That is true.

[Nick DePaulo]

And they're not driving by spraying a 12 year old.

[Joe Rogan]

But the cop that did it was he got released from another police force for being like, mentally unstable. He's already trained and they hired him in this other police force. There's a bunch of issues. My friend Justin, who's a real gun nut, told me the whole story behind, like, he's as right wing as you get. And he told me the whole story behind. He's like, that guy was up. Like, that guy should not have been a cop.

[Nick DePaulo]

Maybe so.

[Joe Rogan]

But they make, you know, there's a certain amount of money, Money involved in training one of those guys. And once that money's invested, you know, they'll hire someone in another district because of the fact they've already been trained and they don't have to retrain anybody and spend those resources.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, Too many second chances.

[Joe Rogan]

When you were working for, for Chris Rock and like, did you work. When you were developed, was he developing his specials?

[Nick DePaulo]

We weren't. We would. We weren't involved in that.

[Joe Rogan]

We were doing the show when he had his HBO show.

[Nick DePaulo]

Right. We're coming up with.

[Joe Rogan]

So he hired certain guys to, to work with his specials. Right. Like, I know he. Richard, Jenny helped him and well, well,

[Nick DePaulo]

with like the Oscars. He hired us, Richie, Jenny, me and, and punching up a couple of movies. This is where this watch came from. He sent us up, actually. Tina Fey was there, Louis. We met at a hotel for a day and just like punched up a script.

[Joe Rogan]

Tina Fey writes a lot. She doesn't do.

[Nick DePaulo]

So this is before she was famous. Right. Before she get real famous.

[Joe Rogan]

Did she do Stan stand up?

[Nick DePaulo]

That's a good question. I don't know.

[Joe Rogan]

I never.

[Nick DePaulo]

I don't think so. I don't think so. Probably Second City and all that. But she was funny and was writing at SNL at the time, so. But yeah, we went to some hotel for the day to punch up a script. And I remember Tina, Louis and whatever. But. But like, but about a month later, we all get these Rolexes. Yeah. And it's inscribed in the back. It says, thanks for your help is what it says on the back of the.

[Joe Rogan]

That's cool.

[Nick DePaulo]

That was the most fun I ever had in my life working at that show. Oh my God, he was so laid back. And just. He'd come in, it would be an 80 degree day. He'd go, fuck it, let's go to the Yankees game.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that's cool.

[Nick DePaulo]

And then, then Big Mama's house came out or whatever. One of those. Remember Big Mama?

[Joe Rogan]

Martin Lawrence.

[Nick DePaulo]

Martin Lawrence, yeah. And the second one came out and he. I think Chris went and saw it himself, and then he made us all go see it because it was so bad. He made us all go to the movie. We all sat down, we all had tickets. And then about 20 minutes in the scene, something. Him sitting on the toilet making jokes. And then Chris goes, okay, let's go. That's all I wanted you to see. We watched like a half hour. And he goes, that's all I wanted you to see. And we all walked out.

[Joe Rogan]

He went back.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's all he wanted to see.

[Joe Rogan]

I mean, because it was that bad.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, I was. I was like. We were all laughing our ass off

[Joe Rogan]

how bad it was.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, I mean, it was. But it was what. It was what I expected from. From a Big Mama's House too, or whatever the. You know what I mean? I love Martin Lawrence, the comedy story. I met him out here.

[Joe Rogan]

Dave Chappelle had a really good point about. What is it about black men in Hollywood? They reach a certain amount of fame and they make you dress up like a woman. Like that is true. It's Eddie Murphy did it. Jamie Foxx did it. Martin.

[Nick DePaulo]

Is he saying it's conspiracy?

[Joe Rogan]

Well, I'm sure he was, but I mean, it is kind of funny. I mean, how many white guys dress up like a woman? You got Robin Williams. Who did.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Dustin Hoffman.

[Joe Rogan]

This is Doubtfire. Dusty Hoffman. Tootsie Zit, Bosom Buddies. That's Tom Hanks. But they weren't famous then. They became famous from doing that. And that was sort of a premise of the show. They had a rent control place that would only allow chicks or something like that.

[Nick DePaulo]

What was the one that. You know who won?

[Joe Rogan]

Patrick Swayze. That's. That's right. And again, that was. Homeboy was in that, too. Wesley Snipes.

[Nick DePaulo]

How about.

[Joe Rogan]

He was. He was in there, too. To Wong Fu. Julie Newmar.

[Nick DePaulo]

What was the Dallas Players Club.

[Joe Rogan]

Jared Leto. Yeah, but he was playing a transgender. He was playing, like a gay person.

[Nick DePaulo]

I know. I'm just different.

[Joe Rogan]

He's not playing a woman. An actual woman. Like Mama's House. Like, he was playing a woman. Like, it wasn't like he was wearing.

[Nick DePaulo]

Probably wrote it. Conspiracy Theory. The white Hollywood guys making black guys

[Joe Rogan]

dress up like Ralph Harris. Remember Ralph Harris? He had a TV show where he dressed up like a woman. Ralph Harris had, like, a tv. Remember Ralph Harris?

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah. Funny, funny, funny guy.

[Joe Rogan]

He had a TV show where he dressed up like a woman, like on the show.

[Nick DePaulo]

Wait, Robin Hare.

[Joe Rogan]

No, Ralph. Ralph Harris. Robin Harris was the funny guy.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'm thinking of Robin Robin Harris is very funny. I'm like, he great, Robin.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, he was funny. He was like the king of black LA comedy for a long time.

[Nick DePaulo]

First time I saw him, he comes out. I think it was like a deaf comedy jam thing, but he had just a wife beater on with a big gut hanging out. And I was crying at how funny the material was. Just. But just working class.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

I mean, oh, my God.

[Joe Rogan]

He didn't give a. I don't know if he ever really got really famous.

[Nick DePaulo]

He was about to.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

I think he was right on the verge.

[Joe Rogan]

He had this one joke that killed me. He goes, I don't ever mess with no pretty woman. Pretty women's too much work. I like me an ugly girl. I tell ugly girl, I'm going to the moon. Oh, you be careful up there. I don't want nothing bad to happen to you. He would make his eyes big when you'd say it. Oh, you be careful up there. You have to say it, man. He was funny. Funny. He was a funny dude, man. He was a funny dude.

[Nick DePaulo]

Just a three hour show.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah. It's over. It's over. We did three.

[Nick DePaulo]

Always do.

[Joe Rogan]

All the time. Yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

God bless you.

[Joe Rogan]

Once you start talking, look how easy it was. You just did it, too.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, I know.

[Joe Rogan]

Not hard to do.

[Nick DePaulo]

No, I know. I mean. But it's nice when you have a studio and cameras. I'm. I'm Hunt. I'm hunched over a card table on the Red Sox head on my basement.

[Joe Rogan]

Were you doing.

[Nick DePaulo]

Why am I stuttering all of a sudden? Holy. Did you see that?

[Joe Rogan]

You ran out of gas hours in the coffee.

[Nick DePaulo]

No. Tell me.

[Joe Rogan]

The fucking beast. Pouring some more.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'll be up till. For three days now.

[Joe Rogan]

Will you. When you do your podcast, do you do your. Is it audio only or do you

[Nick DePaulo]

have a camera on you? Yeah, yeah. I've only been doing like a little over a year.

[Joe Rogan]

How many episodes you do once a week or.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, once a week. I'm like 63 episodes. Yeah. And I love. I just. Because I like radio. I love radio. It's what I. It's one of my favorite things, is almost as much as stand up, so. But I don't have guests because I live way up in the woods. Nobody's coming up.

[Joe Rogan]

So you just do it.

[Nick DePaulo]

You shut up for an hour. I treat it like a radio, you know, I do news stuff. I treat it kind of almost like a radio show.

[Joe Rogan]

Like, Bill Burr does his stuff all by himself, too.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, he rambles.

[Joe Rogan]

Very rarely has a person on yeah, yeah. He'll tell to read like viewer email or listener emails. Yeah, stuff like that.

[Nick DePaulo]

But I just. I'll do stuff in the news and just my personal life and just ramble. It's a good. It's like a good exercise for radio.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh yeah.

[Nick DePaulo]

To me keep it moving forward. Try to keep them entertained. And I like to play with sound effects and shit. I have this thing, I'm like kid,

[Joe Rogan]

like a iPad or something.

[Nick DePaulo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have run it through my iPad. It's a blast.

[Joe Rogan]

Try that for like one episode. I was like this is.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, you don't have to. You have 19 can. Look at you. This is like. I feel like I'm in CBS Studios right now.

[Joe Rogan]

Well, we're going to have. It'd be way more high tech after today because we have just.

[Nick DePaulo]

How much money do you have?

[Joe Rogan]

John Fairfax? Cash son.

[Nick DePaulo]

Well, how about news Radio isn't exactly.

[Joe Rogan]

Yeah, that one in the sandation too. Not bad. Being out here.

[Nick DePaulo]

I'd love to just break into his checking account for 5 minutes. See what the going on. But no, you're done. Good. Thanks for having me on.

[Joe Rogan]

Please. My pleasure.

[Nick DePaulo]

Can we plug my thing?

[Joe Rogan]

Another senseless killing you.

[Nick DePaulo]

Can we play or is it too late?

[Joe Rogan]

Dip.com we're literally out of time. Yeah, but Nick Dip Doc, we played one. That's hilarious. But this is it. You got it up there. Another senseless kill feeling. Seriously dude, I've known you for 25 plus years. You've always been hilarious.

[Nick DePaulo]

Thank you, Joe.

[Joe Rogan]

Great comic and a great dude.

[Nick DePaulo]

Appreciate it. Brother.

[Joe Rogan]

Friends for a long time. Happy to help you out. Anytime you want to come on again, you got an open invitation. I'll start this up at 4:00 in the morning.

[Nick DePaulo]

I. Dude, this is the only reason I come out here to LA.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, that's awesome man. Thank you. Go nickdip.com go go. Buy this. Go purchase. Get it. Respect Nick DePaulo.

[Nick DePaulo]

Thanks fellas.

[Joe Rogan]

What is your. Your Twitter?

[Nick DePaulo]

Is it@nickdapalo? Yeah.

[Joe Rogan]

Why nickdip.com not. Why not Nick DePauw?

[Nick DePaulo]

You can go to both. It's what's easy to spell. I try to make it simple.

[Joe Rogan]

Oh, so if you go to Nick Depaulo like goes over to nickdip.com transfer. I guess that's smart.

[Nick DePaulo]

Nick Dip is easier.

[Joe Rogan]

And Paulo spelled P A O L O.

[Nick DePaulo]

That's why I do Nick Dip. Yeah, Italians grease balls.

[Joe Rogan]

Hey my friends. All right, folks. We'll be back tomorrow. So until then, go yourself. See you soon. Much love big kiss nickdip.com go. This episode is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra processed kibble still the status quo? For most dog owners owners, healthy alternatives exist. And trust me, I know. I buy one. The Farmer's dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them, it smells good to me. It's human grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier. And isn't getting more time with our four legged best friends something every dog owner wants the answer to? That is yes, obviously. So try the Farmer's Dog today and get 50 off your first box of fresh healthy food. Plus get free shipping. Just go to the farmersdog.com Robert Hogan this offer is for new customers only. This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. It's tax season and by now I know we're all a bit tired of numbers, but here's an important one for you to hear. $16 billion. That's how much money in refunds the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud. Here's another one in four honest, hard working, working, taxpaying Americans have been a victim of identity theft. But it's not all grim news. Lifelock monitors millions of data points per seconds for your personal information and alerts you to threats you could easily miss on your own. If your Identity is stolen, LifeLocks US based restoration specialists will fix it, backed by another good number, the million dollar protection package. In fact, fact, restoration is guaranteed or your money back. Don't face identity theft and financial losses alone. There's strength in numbers with Lifelock identity theft protection for tax season and beyond. Visit lifelock.com jre and save up to 40% your first year. That's 40% [e-mail] jre terms apply.