#22 John Clay Wolfe Show 03/05/16 Hour 3

Summary

The John Clay Wolfe Show

Episode #22 – Hour 3 (Aired: February 11, 2026)
Host: John Clay Wolfe | Featuring: Charlie, Bob, Mike Turley, others

---

Episode Overview

This episode is classic John Clay Wolfe: a fast-paced, unpredictable mix of car talk, political riffing, music, and off-the-cuff storytelling. The show dives into topical debates (literally), lampoons political culture, reminisces about music and business, and takes calls from listeners looking to sell their vehicles—often with a hefty side of Texan banter and irreverent humor.

---

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Car Appraisals, Callers & Running Gags

• Listener Calls: John starts the hour appraising an '05 Mazda 3 Sport, gently telling the owner it's basically a parts car.
  • “On a 05 Sport with 135, it’s parts.” – John Clay Wolfe (01:17)
• Radio Sponsors & Hustling: On sponsor ads and making deals, John jokes about splitting revenue with his crew.
  • “Anything you sell them, I'll give you 20.” – John Clay Wolfe (02:12)
• Show Running Gags: The recurring ribbing among hosts peaks with playful accusations (“accidental racist,” “cruel to animals”).

2. News of the Weird & Political Satire

• Weird News: Turley tells a wild Portland story involving a woman attacked by a “pirate” on LSD who thought he was a high elf.
  • “He told officers he had taken LSD, identified himself as the High Elf engaged in battle with the evil Morthgroth.” – Mike Turley (02:51)
• Political Debate Recap & Impressions (04:00 - 08:30):
  • The cast lampoons a Republican debate featuring Trump, Cruz, and Rubio. Trump’s infamous “small hands” retort is replayed, as is the chaos between moderators and candidates.
  • “If they're small, something else must be small. I guarantee you, there's no problem.” — Donald Trump (03:59, replay)
  • “Count to ten, Donald. Breathe.” – John Clay Wolfe (04:13)
• Ted Cruz Critique: General dislike for Cruz’s “preacher/lawyer” vibe and impressions likening him to cartoonish figures.
  • “Every time I see him speak, I hear a preacher slash lawyer… speaking to the jury.” – John Clay Wolfe (07:07)

3. Political Opinions & Electability

• Kasich as the Sensible Republican: Several hosts express they'd prefer John Kasich over the other GOP frontrunners—despite his low favorability.
• Voting Dilemmas:
  • “If you had to vote today, it was Bernie Sanders.”
  • “We're already living socialist.” – Charlie & John (09:34-09:47)
  • They debate whether Bernie Sanders is electable, with arguments about American attitudes towards “socialism.”
• Trump “the Hustler”: Consensus that whatever happens, Trump’s brand value climbs. “He’s making his brand worth billions… If this doesn’t work out for him, hey, no problem.” – Bob (11:23)

4. Inside Radio, Music Nostalgia & Willie Nelson

• Radio Politics: John shares irritation over being scolded by a station boss for giving a politician airtime, poking fun at strict FCC rules.
• Red Dirt & Willie Nelson: Reminiscence over John’s days as a bar owner and the early '90s music scene. Comparison of Jack Ingram to Willie, and banter about Ingram needing a hit.
• Willie Nelson’s New Album: The crew jokes about Willie's latest—Willie Sings Gershwin—and speculate on what it would be like if other classic rockers sang country standards.
  • “It’s gotta suck. It’s gonna be terrible.” – John Clay Wolfe on the album (14:36)
  • Charlie belts out snippets of “Summertime” as if he were Willie.

5. Show Origins & Personal Histories (18:32 - 21:00)

• How the Show Started: John talks about the show’s first days in Wichita Falls and how his “call in and I’ll bid your car” concept took off.
• Family Lore: Charlie and John share stories about their grandparents—leg amputations, sense of humor, “driving Rolls Royces and packing heat.”

6. Comedy & the 2016 Primary: Trump vs. Rubio

• Political Stand-up Bits: Fake audio from a supposed Marco Rubio & Donald Trump comedy tour lampoons their debate insults, culminates in awkward punchlines.
  • “You know how much damage someone with a micro penis can do?” – Fake Marco Rubio (23:01)
  • "Tell him it's a raft… Immigration services [are] driving the truck." – Charlie doing Trump jokes (25:02)
• Republican Primary Circus: The cast bemoans the outlandishness and unpredictability of the race.

7. OJ’s Knife, Starbucks Etiquette, and Socialism (27:36 - 32:26)

• OJ Simpson Knife News: They mock reports about a supposedly found knife at OJ’s home, linking it to classic American hype.
• “Pay it Forward” at Starbucks: John vents about being stuck with someone else’s high-priced tab, calling it “the bad side of socialism.”
• Bernie Sanders & Socialism: Extended argument about why Sanders isn’t truly “radical,” and a primer on everyday American socialism (municipal water, etc.).

8. Listener Engagement & Show Antics

• Caller Mark & the Yellow Camaro: A devoted listener calls in about selling a yellow Camaro; the hosts riff on “strippers and Camaros” (common radio trope) and escalate to joking about topless photos for higher car bids.
• “If you could take a pen and write the VIN number across her bosom…this would get some traction.” – John Clay Wolfe (34:09)
• The conversation closes with thanks and reminders to submit cars via the website.

9. Car Market Insight

• Tax Season = Peak Car Selling: John urges listeners to sell during this peak period, driven by people using tax refunds to buy used cars.
  • “As high as they get all year…tax money drives it.” – John Clay Wolfe (35:59)

10. Final Stories & Reflections

• Grandparent Stories: The guys reminisce about grandparents, rural life, and generational differences (“my grandmother always packed heat…she had a Rolls”).
• Seatbelts and Safety: Nostalgia for “projectile kids” in back seats pre-safety laws.
• Neighborhood Change: John laments the subdivision of family land and seeing new neighbors, including a prosperous preacher whose “hidden” Corvette prompts a rant against tax loopholes for clergy.
  • “If Trump does anything I hope he gets rid of that clergyman discount BS because that is such a racket.” – John Clay Wolfe (42:11)
• Racial/Economic Diversity: Charlie tells of how moving next to a black family changed his small-town Texas perspective.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Trump’s Campaign Style:
  • “He just says it and people go—okay.” – Charlie (11:14)
• On Modern Political Debates:
  • “We need to learn to respect each other. Megan, let me just ask the voters at home, is this the debate you want playing out in the General election?” – John Clay Wolfe (05:08)
• On Radio Show Evolution:
  • “It has gotten completely off the rails. I mean, it is slowly, more terribly so, though.” – John Clay Wolfe (19:56)
• Banter on Socialism vs. American Life
  • “If you’re scared of a word like socialism, dude, don’t even talk politics to me. Because there’s so much in this country that works that is socialism.” – Charlie (31:42)
• On Generational Change:
  • “What changed? Everybody’s so uptight.” – John Clay Wolfe (46:40)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|-------------------------------------| | 01:05 | Listener car appraisal starts | | 02:51 | “High Elf” LSD news story | | 04:00 | 2016 GOP debate recap & Trump soundbites | | 07:07 | Ted Cruz “preacher/lawyer” impressions | | 13:11 | John’s music promoter days/Red dirt scene | | 14:20 | Extended riffing on Willie Nelson’s new album | | 18:42 | Show beginnings and early radio history | | 21:01 | Marco Rubio vs. Trump comedy bit | | 27:36 | Latest news on OJ’s knife | | 29:09 | Starbucks “pay it forward” annoyance | | 31:00 | Why “socialism” isn’t a scary word | | 33:16 | Longtime listener/Yellow Camaro call| | 35:59 | Car market advice—peak season | | 36:56 | Grandparent stories | | 42:11 | Rant against clergy tax breaks | | 46:00 | Old-school driving & seatbelt law nostalgia |

---

Episode Takeaways

• Expect the unexpected: whether it’s high-energy car deals or trenchant criticisms of contemporary politics, the show is as off-the-cuff as it is consistent in its irreverence.
• The humor is frequently self-deprecating, sometimes biting, with plenty of inside jokes and callbacks for longtime fans.
• The car biz is both a business and a backdrop; the hosts’ personal histories, musical tastes, and politics are central.
• The cast isn't shy about airing political opinions, drawing lines between old-school skepticism, Texan libertarianism, and occasional progressivism—all tongue-in-cheek.

---

For New Listeners

If you’re new to The John Clay Wolfe Show, this episode is a prime sampler of its blend: wild stories, sharp satire, deep dives into car culture (serious and not), with vivid Texas color and a strong sense of not taking anything, including themselves, too seriously.
Expect political incorrectness, genuine banter, and lots of “did they just say that?” moments.

---

Transcript

[Podbean Announcer]

Podbean, your message amplified.

[Bob]

Ready to share your message with the world. Start your podcast journey with Podbean.

[Podbean Announcer]

Podbean, the AI powered all in one podcast platform.

[Charlie]

Record, edit, optimize, publish, distribute.

[Bob]

Thousands of businesses and enterprises trust Podbean.

[John Clay Wolf]

To launch their podcasts.

[Podbean Announcer]

Launch your podcast on Podbean. Today.

[Show Promo Announcer]

Broadcasting live from the Wolf Radio studios, it's time for the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up now. 800-800-Rode or log on to GoWolf.com now. John Clay Wolf.

[John Clay Wolf]

What the hell is this? It's trippy.

[Bob]

It's the who really Sparks.

[John Clay Wolf]

This fella has been holding a long time. This really is my kind of car. It's barely, barely with the miles on it. Craig, you there? An 05 Mazda 3 Sport. Is it a stick or an automatic? Automatic. Average. Rough or clean, boy. See, it's just not worth much, man. Oh, let me look at something real quick. These cars are worth two grand. Ready to go 2500. It's totaled. I would. It's parts. If it's got two grand in body damage with those miles on a 03. On a 05 Sport with 135, it's parts. Okay, sorry. Thanks.

[Charlie]

Houston, can Academy stop?

[Bob]

See, this is a sponsor telling you.

[Mike Turley]

What about?

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, call them and get them to pay. I'll push their words.

[Charlie]

What are you talking about?

[John Clay Wolf]

They buy spots all over the place. Bob. If you're that hardcore on them, call them. I'll give you 25% of any of the income that they want to spend.

[Charlie]

No, I mean I don't make anything off.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'm just saying, let's turn this into a deal.

[Charlie]

You get a car that's worth nothing.

[John Clay Wolf]

I mean, you're sitting there doing your deal during the days. Call them and say, hey, y' all buy radio ads all over the place. How would you like to. Anything you sell them, I'll give you 20.

[Charlie]

You're just mad because you hate poor under educated children.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's not true.

[Charlie]

He's not a hater.

[Bob]

He's a Texan.

[Charlie]

He's the accidental racist and you're cruel to animals.

[Mike Turley]

Cruel animals?

[John Clay Wolf]

Uncle Gus is who?

[Mike Turley]

He's.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's mirroring Uncle Gus and old people. Right, right, right.

[Charlie]

You're mean to animals and old people.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, I'm not.

[Charlie]

Somebody educate these children.

[John Clay Wolf]

What the hell are you talking about? J.D. save us.

[Charlie]

I cracked myself.

[Mike Turley]

I got nothing. I got some funny stories. Things that have happened this week in Portland, Oregon. Lady calls 911 Tuesday morning about 7 o', clock, said she was under attack by a pirate. It wasn't just a normal pirate anyway. It was Conrad Bass. He told officers he had taken lsd, identified himself as the High Elf engaged in battle with the evil Morthgroth. Yes, he was taken to a hospital and charged with criminal mischief. But he was dressed completely in the hole. I'm the High Elf.

[Charlie]

Morgoth is bad, dude, but can you.

[Mike Turley]

Imagine calling 91 1-@ 7 o' clock in the morning? I'm being attacked by a, well, pirate.

[John Clay Wolf]

The world has just gotten weird. It's just so weird. Everything's so weird.

[Bob]

I mean, well, proof of it is the debate.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, the whole thing. So what?

[Mike Turley]

There's always crazy people, but now they're in politics. I mean, they're potentially in the highest office in the world.

[Bob]

Well, you missed it, right, John?

[John Clay Wolf]

I missed the debate.

[Bob]

Just happened to have it recap in 90 seconds.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do we really?

[Podbean Announcer]

Hi.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hello.

[Charlie]

How you doing?

[Donald Trump]

Nice to be with you.

[Podbean Announcer]

Megan, great to have you here.

[Megan]

In this campaign for the last year, Donald Trump has basically mocked everybody with personal attacks.

[Donald Trump]

He referred to my hands. If they're small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Donald Trump]

I hope you can.

[Podbean Announcer]

The audience cannot understand when you're talking over each other.

[John Clay Wolf]

Count to ten, Donald.

[Charlie]

Breathe.

[Mike Turley]

Lying dead.

[John Clay Wolf]

Breathe.

[Megan]

When they're done with the yoga. Can I answer a question?

[John Clay Wolf]

You cannot.

[Megan]

It's very flexible, so you never know.

[Donald Trump]

You believe in cnn? I mean, I know we're with Fox.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you think that Donald Trump is naive about the threat that Vladimir Putin represents?

[Mike Turley]

I'm not biting.

[John Clay Wolf]

Let me just give you a.

[Mike Turley]

Take you around the world, okay?

[Podbean Announcer]

Back in January, you gave an off the record interview to the New York Times.

[Megan]

If tonight you tell the New York Times to release the audio, they will do it.

[Donald Trump]

I have too much respect for that process to say, just release everything. I would not do that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, but if in fact you went to Manhattan and said, I'm lying to the American people, then the voters have a right to know. No, no, you're the liar.

[Podbean Announcer]

They said that the plaintiffs against you are like the Madoff victim.

[Donald Trump]

This is a civil case, very easy to have settled.

[Megan]

And you know what they got in these courses? Stuff you can pull off of Zillow.

[Donald Trump]

Let's see what happens at the end of a couple of years when this case is over.

[John Clay Wolf]

We need to learn to respect each other. Megan, Let me just ask the voters at home, is this the debate you want playing out in the General election.

[Charlie]

No, no.

[John Clay Wolf]

Excuse me.

[Charlie]

Bitch.

[Mike Turley]

So embarrassing. So embarrassing.

[John Clay Wolf]

Why do I dislike Ted Cruz so much?

[Mike Turley]

I don't know what it is about him that's so creepy. I don't know. I inched his way a little bit watching the debate because Rubio's.

[John Clay Wolf]

Obviously, everybody loves him. So many. What I'm saying, not popular because he won Texas.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah, well, he won Texas. Well, I mean.

[Charlie]

But look at our politics here, though. What does it take to win Texas?

[John Clay Wolf]

People like you and vote for you.

[Charlie]

Just pretend to be a Christian and they will vote for you.

[Mike Turley]

So you think that's what he's doing, is pretending Cruz?

[Charlie]

Oh, I don't think. Whether he's pretending or not, no. That's what they vote for here.

[Mike Turley]

All right.

[Charlie]

Despite any of your platform, despite any.

[Mike Turley]

Of your politics, just watching the debate, straight up, first of all, what was the last guy and the fourth guy? John somebody.

[Charlie]

Kasich.

[Bob]

Kasich.

[Mike Turley]

Kasich, Yeah. I mean, I didn't know his name. I want. Who's that guy on stage? He's the one. He's the only one that made sense every time he spoke, you know, every time.

[Bob]

If I had to choose between him and Hillary, I would choose him.

[Mike Turley]

I would choose him. I absolutely would. I would choose him over any of the other three zoom balls that were on.

[Bob]

And that's coming from a liberal.

[Mike Turley]

Okay, that's Beastball.

[John Clay Wolf]

Then why is he only getting 3%?

[Bob]

Because they're not pumping them up. There's something they all, like you talked about before. They have their good old boy and.

[Mike Turley]

They have their network.

[Bob]

He wasn't in on that. And they're probably like, damn, we should have picked him. And I. I have noticed through emails, because I'm on everybody's. Just to try to see what everybody's saying.

[Mike Turley]

Right, right.

[Bob]

I got it. Finally, a conservative site sent a thing. Hey. Donate to his campaign. Yeah, it was the first time.

[Mike Turley]

Really?

[Bob]

Yes.

[Mike Turley]

So you think they're grabbing for straw?

[Bob]

They might be. And if it gets to a brokered convention, maybe they put all their marbles on him and. Which wouldn't be bad. No, he's for them.

[Mike Turley]

He spoke. Everything he said was. And he was the only one that's got experience. I mean, the thing about Cruz is he speaks. Every time he opens his mouth, he becomes up. He becomes a preacher and a preacher a lawyer. Well, I'll tell you this. Let me. He's just got that whole. Here, because you're stupid. I'll dumb it down.

[John Clay Wolf]

Every time I see him speak, I hear a Preacher slash lawyer. Speaking to the jury and opening or closing statements.

[Charlie]

That's what it is.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what bothers me about it.

[Charlie]

That's it.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I don't trust a lot of those guys.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah, that's why it's a lawyer. It's that lawyer.

[Bob]

That's his background, though.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

That's just his general look, too. You know what he looks like to me? The old Batman villain, Scarecrow. Remember him? His face was painted on the outside of a brown sack.

[John Clay Wolf]

I get old.

[Bob]

What was that?

[Charlie]

Cruz looks like that to me.

[John Clay Wolf]

So?

[Mike Turley]

Well, he's, you know, almost like the V for from the Munsters.

[Bob]

That guy. Yeah, the kid from the Munsters.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that guy.

[Mike Turley]

He's a little kid. Yeah.

[Bob]

No, it doesn't.

[John Clay Wolf]

No. Yeah, it does, but it shouldn't. Donald Trump is not an attractive man.

[Mike Turley]

No. But he has touched a different nerve. He's off on the whole. I am great. We'll make it a great. And he just. He's just so.

[John Clay Wolf]

That spray tan is bad.

[Mike Turley]

Oh, it's so bad.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's so bad. And he puts the little glasses on because you see the white rings around his eyes.

[Mike Turley]

I know.

[John Clay Wolf]

And his kids. Have you seen his kids talk to the news on the side?

[Mike Turley]

No.

[John Clay Wolf]

They're bots, man.

[Mike Turley]

Are they?

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, they're like DNA replica. Really?

[Bob]

Oh, well, his son was not happy after the debate because Fox duped Trump to come back because you remember last time he didn't want to go against me.

[Charlie]

That's right.

[Bob]

Well, Fox did a whole thing where they were tweeting, hey, maybe everybody should get around. We're buddies, all that. So he. He's like, okay, it'll be safe. And then they just came at him.

[Mike Turley]

Did they ever, with the whole Trump University.

[Bob]

Oh, it was over. His son was mad. You could tell him, he's like, oh, my God, we just got duped into this.

[John Clay Wolf]

They talk just like him. I mean, it's just like replay when you hear Donaldsons talk about. It's talking about Trump University.

[Mike Turley]

That's got nothing to do with anything.

[Charlie]

I don't know how accurate it is, but his write up in Rolling Stone, he did an interview. It's been probably two months ago.

[Mike Turley]

Who is he?

[Charlie]

Donald Trump's children were raised correctly, in my opinion. I mean, he raised those boys, man, working on road crews and construction crews. Bottom up. Yeah. Carrying water, doing construction, you know, I mean. And his daughter has got more education than anyone running for office this year, you know?

[Mike Turley]

All right, you want to run the.

[John Clay Wolf]

Room her legs started, her shoes and run all the way up to her boat.

[Mike Turley]

Of course, John.

[John Clay Wolf]

There we go.

[Mike Turley]

John would vote for the daughter. All right.

[Charlie]

She got that from her mother.

[Mike Turley]

You had to vote for that today.

[John Clay Wolf]

I sat on a ski lift with her mom.

[Charlie]

Did you?

[Bob]

Well, as far as if you had.

[Mike Turley]

To vote today, it was Bernie Sanders. Sanders. Okay.

[Charlie]

Baba man, I think I'd go with Sanders.

[John Clay Wolf]

Really?

[Charlie]

Surely over Clinton.

[Mike Turley]

A socialist.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, well, we're already living socialist.

[Charlie]

Kind of depends which Republican you give me.

[Mike Turley]

Okay, Trump.

[Charlie]

I don't think Trump is, is really a sensible choice at all.

[John Clay Wolf]

So you would vote for Bernie Sanders over Trump?

[Charlie]

Yeah, sure, but see, I don't think anybody's going to destroy the country. I don't think one man can destroy the country. They said that about Bush for eight years. He didn't destroy the country. He got us in a lot of debt over that second invasion.

[John Clay Wolf]

Thoughts as you have, Bob. And you say some really smart things that I'm impressed with. I'm surprised here. You say you'd vote for Bernie Sanders.

[Charlie]

Why?

[John Clay Wolf]

Because he's a card carrying socialist publicizing it.

[Charlie]

Yeah, but he's not going to be able to get a lot of that stuff.

[John Clay Wolf]

Then why would you vote for him?

[Bob]

Well, he's sensible at least because I.

[Charlie]

Mean, you put, you put Trump in there, what do you got, four years.

[John Clay Wolf]

You got a guy that the antichrist of Obama that'll unwind what he wound up and then a real politician will get a hold of it on the next cycle and just be normal again.

[Charlie]

Yeah, but see, I like what Obama.

[John Clay Wolf]

I think he's gonna take somebody as stupid. Not stupid. As crazy and active as Trump unconventional. To get it back. Heading on the degree that we as a country need it to be.

[Charlie]

That makes sense. But he doesn't say how he's gonna be able to do it. He doesn't say how he's gonna be able to.

[Bob]

He doesn't know yet.

[Charlie]

He said he's gonna save 300 million. Okay. And Medicare. Well, or 300 billion. The total budget for Medicare is 78 billion. So how do you save 300 billion from 70 years? Do it. You do it.

[Mike Turley]

That's how you do it.

[Bob]

I'm doing a great job.

[Charlie]

That's what Trump does, though. He just says it. He just says it and people go.

[Mike Turley]

And people go, okay.

[Charlie]

And I don't hate Trump.

[Mike Turley]

No, I don't.

[Charlie]

I appreciate Trump for what he is.

[Bob]

You got to appreciate his hustle. I mean, he's making his brand worth billions of dollars.

[Charlie]

Absolutely.

[Bob]

He's loving this. If this doesn't work out for him, hey, no problem.

[Charlie]

Yeah, it ain't the end of world either way.

[Mike Turley]

Be funny if he got all the way up to the the moment and went. You know what? I was. I was punking you guys. I have no intention of this.

[John Clay Wolf]

Speaking of politics, I got another pig vomit.

[Bob]

Oh, no.

[Mike Turley]

This week the boss at radio station.

[John Clay Wolf]

We work the one in Dallas.

[Charlie]

Yeah, the programming Nazi.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, he got on to me about having that politician on the air last week. Really? You know, you got to give him equal air time. Well, anyway, my guy lost. It doesn't matter. But I said, I know the regs. I already gave the guy equal air time and he's not going to come on our show. Well, you did. And I mean, you know, he was just really there.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah, he got off.

[John Clay Wolf]

If a politician.

[Charlie]

Let me see that.

[Mike Turley]

There it is right there.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, you got the letter.

[Charlie]

John caught the show. Nice segment. By the way. Your politician friend. Don't ever do that again. It brings into play the equal. What is that? Equal time allotment.

[Mike Turley]

Time allotment.

[Charlie]

And I think he may be a fascist illegal immigrant.

[Mike Turley]

I don't think he said that. I don't believe he said that.

[Charlie]

Why is he talking to you like.

[Mike Turley]

You'Re making that up?

[Charlie]

By the way, no more Willie Nelson records ever.

[Mike Turley]

That he did say that.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you have any willingness?

[Charlie]

I do have a great show. Thanks, Don. This is.

[John Clay Wolf]

This is to you.

[Bob]

Pig vomit.

[John Clay Wolf]

This is a good song. Willie Nelson. I had a guy call me wanting to interview me. We've talked about this before on the 90s music scene because I was a bar owner and a concert promoter back.

[Charlie]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Did I tell you that Turley to send it to you. And he wants really focusing on the red dirt start origin.

[Bob]

Did you play in a lot of that There's.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, we did all.

[Bob]

But.

[John Clay Wolf]

But Ingram and my. Jack Ingram and my. You know, Jack Ingram was buddy of mine in SMU and he start. When he first started. He did Thursday nights at my venue every Thursday for about two years. And we got to be real good friends and anyway. But this guy's saying that Ingram is the Willie Nelson of that era.

[Charlie]

Really.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I hear where he's going and I couldn't argue with Ingram needs a hit is what Ingram needs bad.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And what's funny about Jack is all the stuff that his real fans love is never made on the radio. But Willie had a weird career like that too. I mean, Willie's more household name today than he was in 1970 for sure.

[Charlie]

Yeah, Willie's been a triple threat, though. I mean, he's done a few movies, you know, he's been all over tv. He's done a lot of, you know, press and award shows and duets with rock stars. He's kind of gotten himself out there.

[John Clay Wolf]

Brand wise, jamming ass to an Allman Brothers track.

[Charlie]

Do you know about the new Willie.

[John Clay Wolf]

Other than the album almonds? Huh?

[Charlie]

You know about the new Willie album? No, I'm not kidding you. Willie Sings Gershwin. It's all George Gershwise. I'm not kidding, man. You can Google this right now. Willie sings Gershwin. His new album's out. It's got all the. All the old standards by George Gershwin.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's gotta suck. It's gonna be terrible.

[Charlie]

No, he does. You know, the Stardust album that he did was great. I've never seen Willie George on my mind. And old standards.

[Bob]

Yeah, but those are songs that people know.

[Charlie]

Sometimes I wonder why I spend lonely nights dreaming he's right.

[Mike Turley]

It's called Summertime. Willie Nelson sings Gershwin with songs, but not for me. Somebody Loves Somebody. Someone to watch Over Me. All of them.

[John Clay Wolf]

How Old is Willing?

[Charlie]

Summertime? The living is easy.

[Mike Turley]

Willie is.

[John Clay Wolf]

Willie sings N.W.A.

[Bob]

Oh, God, that'd be great.

[Mike Turley]

Catfish.

[Charlie]

You're jumping. The cotton is high oh, your daddy's rich and your mama's good looking little.

[Bob]

Baby don't you cry 82 years old.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Willie Sings Gershwin is the new album. I'm gonna pick it up.

[John Clay Wolf]

What would it sound like if Dio sang Willie?

[Mike Turley]

Summertime. Willie Nelson sings Gershwin. He's right. This came out February 26th.

[Charlie]

I'm drowning in whiskey river.

[Mike Turley]

No, we're not. No, we're not. No, we're not. No, we're not gonna.

[Charlie]

Whiskey river take my mind.

[Mike Turley]

I don't really think that's appropriate.

[Charlie]

Don't let her. Mimi, talk to me. Whiskey river don't run dry.

[Bob]

God, you're hurting me.

[Mike Turley]

I want to change the channel when I'm in the room.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I want to hear something else.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah, anything else now.

[John Clay Wolf]

But I want to hear what John Anderson would sound like doing the same song.

[Charlie]

Doing a Willie song. Yeah, I'd probably about the same. I'm drowning in a whiskey river Fortune don't know the words and the fortunes that was sold Feeling the hamburger Whiskey rolling through my brain hey, hey. A whiskey river take my mind it's pretty good.

[John Clay Wolf]

Pretty good. Pretty good.

[Charlie]

Don't let her memory talk to me.

[John Clay Wolf]

800, 800. 7, 2, 3, 4, 8.

[Charlie]

Don't run dry all I got. Take care of me.

[John Clay Wolf]

800, 8008-0072-3480-0800 radio. Yes, we will buy your car. John Anderson will buy your car.

[Charlie]

That'd be awesome. Well, I'll give you 13, 9, 13.

[John Clay Wolf]

9.95.

[Charlie]

Trade you for a steel guitar. Hey.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh my God. What time is it?

[Charlie]

A new steel guitar in a case. It's your jail.

[Bob]

I think it's time to go to break. I think that's what time it is.

[Mike Turley]

I believe you're right.

[Charlie]

Thank goodness.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right. 800, 800 radio. 8008-0072-3480-0800, 7234. Let's get this gravy train back on the track. We've got 30 minutes left. Give me a call, I'll buy your car. Year, make, model in miles. Year, make, model, miles. 800, 800 radio call now. I'll take your call to the air. Or you can just go to give me the v I n givemethe vin.com. my name is John Clay Wolf and I buy cars on the radio.

[Show Promo Announcer]

Now back to the John Clay wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1-800-800-Radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolf]

11:26 6:00am Central Standard Time. Good morning everybody out there in radio radio land and the streamy streamers. My name is John Clay Wolf. J.D. ryan, Mike Turley, Bobbo.

[Charlie]

Yo, yo.

[John Clay Wolf]

The. The funny. The funny guy.

[Charlie]

Streamy streamers.

[John Clay Wolf]

Streamy streamers, man. 800-800-7234 is how you call in right now. We are live. Of course we're not dead. This is not pre recorded. We are here doing our deal Saturday mornings like I'll have been doing for 10 years come June 15th.

[Charlie]

Really right around Juneteenth.

[Bob]

Buying cars on the radio.

[John Clay Wolf]

I remember how it started. I remember exactly how it started. I remember the first time we got on the air on the Outlaw 949 the Outlaw Witch falls, Texas and Scotty Preston was my co host. They gave me a co host. I got rid of him pretty quick.

[Charlie]

It was time for top gear. His job great Wolf. I'm Scotty Preston.

[Bob]

Right how he sounded?

[Mike Turley]

Yes, I got that pukey face like Christopher Walken.

[Charlie]

Scott Preston.

[Mike Turley]

How you doing? Hey, Christopher Walken.

[Charlie]

You know my niece is and act me to do a walking impersonation and I can't quite do it but she loves it when I try.

[Mike Turley]

That was good. What you just did was almost.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, that was pretty much.

[Charlie]

I wasn't trying to do walking.

[Mike Turley]

I know. That's why it Was funny.

[John Clay Wolf]

Y' all can call in and at 800-800-RODIO, and I'll buy your car over there. That's the backbone fundamental of this show. Over the years, I must admit, it has gotten completely off the rails. I mean, it is slowly more terribly so, though.

[Bob]

So do you have the first show? Was it just you pounding the pavement for calls?

[John Clay Wolf]

No, when I open the phones up the first time to call me and I'll bid your car, it just bloop.

[Bob]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, I mean, just.

[Charlie]

It's a nice enough show.

[John Clay Wolf]

You've got the right hand in the comments.

[Charlie]

For breakfast. I'd rather have bacon and eggs. And eggs.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is he dead?

[Bob]

No, he's still.

[John Clay Wolf]

I thought he did the choke down deal. Oh, that was the guy from Kill Bill.

[Charlie]

That was David Carradine.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes.

[Bob]

Choked down.

[John Clay Wolf]

You know, when you choke down when you're. When you're playing auto asphyxiation.

[Charlie]

Full on. Robin Williams.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's auto asphyxiation? Did Robin Williams.

[Mike Turley]

No, he did not.

[Charlie]

No, but he halfway did.

[John Clay Wolf]

What, his pants? Only at his knees, not his ankles. Okay, skip that, love.

[Charlie]

It's like Ben Stiller said, never go for the full caring aim, you know?

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, my God. Y' all were talking earlier about Donald Trump and Marco Rubio went to a comedy club. Well, you've.

[Bob]

You've paid attention how they've been going back and forth. Like for instance, this is Rubio burning.

[Megan]

Trump here, he doesn't sweat because his pores are clogged from the spray tan that he used. But up, he's always calling me little Marco. And I'll admit the guy, he's taller than me. He's like 6:2. Which is why I don't understand why his hands are the size of someone who's 5 2. Have you seen his hands? And you know what they say about men with small hands?

[John Clay Wolf]

Is that a clap? Pre.

[Charlie]

Pre.

[Megan]

You can't trust them. You can't trust them.

[Bob]

Little pregnant pause there. And then, of course, you know, Trump's famous response back to him as far as.

[Donald Trump]

And I have to say this. I have to say this. You know, he hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I've never heard of this one. Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he referred to my hands. If they're small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there's no problem.

[John Clay Wolf]

George Zimmerman. I guarantee the menswearhouse.

[Charlie]

Two for one, right? They were almost polished. They were almost too funny. Like they're practicing.

[John Clay Wolf]

They were smu. George Zimmerman comes to Talk to the people who wanted to listen. And the kid, he took questions from the. From the audience when we were in school. George Zimmerman from the men's warehouse. Kid raises his hand. For real? This for real? Yes. Son, what's your name? You know, my name's Scotty White.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

What's your question? I want to know how to become a millionaire quick. As soon as I get out of college. He said, marry my ex wife. Life. That's pretty good. He's a very Donald Trump kind of delivery guy. So what was the deal about Marco and. Well, they.

[Bob]

Yeah, they're apparently to raise funds.

[John Clay Wolf]

They going on tour? Yes, at the Improv.

[Bob]

At the Improv. A little comedy tour they go on? Yes. In fact, we got a little audio from him.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is there. Is there a Houston State. Is there a Houston stop?

[Bob]

I don't know yet.

[John Clay Wolf]

We'll see Donald Trump and Marco Rubio at the improv doing a double header.

[Mike Turley]

Houston Improv.

[Bob]

They're starting on the improv guy.

[Mike Turley]

Yep.

[Charlie]

First of all, even if Donald wins, Even if Donald wins, don't worry, it's not the end of the world. You know how much damage someone with a micro penis can do?

[Mike Turley]

No.

[Charlie]

That's supposed to be Marco.

[Mike Turley]

That was it. That was Marco.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's the whole deal.

[Charlie]

We don't know. We lost our. Our producers dead in the lake.

[Mike Turley]

See, there was music and sound effects and all kinds of cool stuff that goes with this, but we've. Our computer is frozen.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. Oh, you didn't tell me that.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah, that's what happened.

[John Clay Wolf]

I wouldn't have taken you down that road if I knew you froze up, dog.

[Mike Turley]

The computer just died on us. It was gonna be so funny.

[John Clay Wolf]

We'll screw all that and when you finish back up, we'll do it again. But you can call it now. You're fro. Charlie's frozen at home. We're gonna do this just like I used to do in Wichita falls, Texas in 2005. 5.

[Mike Turley]

We're going over live.

[John Clay Wolf]

Y' all just call in and I'll bid your car over there. 800. 800 radio. 800. 800 radio. 800, 800, 7, 2, 3, 4. I've been on the air since 8:00 o' clock this morning. I'm out of BS so I can do nothing else but bid cars. That's the one thing I can do in my sleep. I don't bid him. I buy them. I'll bid him to buy them if you call in now. Give me your make, model, miles. I will. Finally, I will buy Your car, and she'll screen you up and put you on my queue. And I'll. I'll take your call there. Now, while y' all are calling in, getting loaded in the system, y' all do this. Oh, it doesn't work again. Somebody tell me something. Go.

[Charlie]

Because Trump. Because Trump. Listen, Donald in a head to head, Hillary's still packing more heat than Trump is. What's with the delay? You people, you people asleep here? Listen to the Cuban when he talks. Respect the Cuban. Donald Trump should never rag on illegal immigrants. He's had an undocumented worker living on his head for the past two decades.

[Mike Turley]

Ah, there we go. Jay Leno.

[Charlie]

Small. Smaller than small. No, I don't think Marco's funny.

[Mike Turley]

No, he's not.

[Charlie]

Let's see how Donald did.

[Mike Turley]

Do you have Donald, bitch?

[Charlie]

Yeah, yeah, Donald's been doing it too. So here's one. How do you fit little Marco's whole family into a shoebox? I don't know. Okay. You're gonna fit his whole family, Marco's little family, into a shoebox? Tell him it's a raft. Oh, I get it. No, I don't. And I'm kidding you not. What's the difference between pick and choose in this business? Politics. You gotta know this. To pick is to make a selection. Choose what Marco's got on his feet. He's wearing his chews.

[Bob]

Oh, God.

[Charlie]

Nice chews, Little Mako. Everybody stand for the Cuban national anthem.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

You ready? Row, row, row your boat gently down the street. They were on a boat. Here's when a Mexican and Cuban will say, little Marco and lion Ted are riding in a truck. Who's driving? I don't know.

[Bob]

Who's driving?

[Charlie]

Who's driving? Who's driving? Immigration services. Driving the truck. Go back to Canada, you big liar. You and your choose.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is that your full set?

[Charlie]

And your little tiny chews. Yeah, well, it would have been. I mean, the Marco thing could have been long. Guys.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, Marco. Not at all. I'm gonna say Marco was a fail, but Trump was a win.

[Charlie]

And Marco's not funny, just like it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Is in the real world.

[Charlie]

All stand for the Cuban national anthem.

[Mike Turley]

Row, row, row.

[John Clay Wolf]

You boys.

[Charlie]

Do you get it?

[John Clay Wolf]

I get it.

[Charlie]

That's about boat people. Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

That'S so bad. Is that clock, right? No.

[Bob]

Five minutes.

[Charlie]

What goes on in an election like this? The way the Republicans have let their. Their own primary go, right? I mean, you start off with 11 guys. It's so unpredictable. They've let it get to this late date, now they're trying to knock out their front runners, you know, not their uncontested frontrunner, but they're just all but uncontested frontrunner. What do you got on the Democrat side?

[John Clay Wolf]

Don't know.

[Charlie]

You got a socialist. I mean a self proclaimed socialist.

[Mike Turley]

Yep, he is.

[Charlie]

And in a list of types that Americans will not vote for, socialist is right up there.

[Mike Turley]

Right up there with communists.

[Charlie]

Yeah, you know, so you've got a socialist and you've got Hillary. Yeah, a lot of people just have this irrational dislike of Hillary. The same way I have an irrational dislike of Cruz.

[Mike Turley]

Right.

[Charlie]

A lot of people have a dislike of Obama.

[Mike Turley]

Right.

[Charlie]

You know, just don't trust her, dude.

[Bob]

Hey, there's a breaking news.

[Mike Turley]

What do we got?

[John Clay Wolf]

See this? No, what do we got?

[Bob]

The knife does not appear to be connected to O.J. simpson's slave sources say. So that knife tell the story.

[Mike Turley]

Basically, 13 years ago, this now ex police officer was given this knife from somebody who found it at OJ's old. This is so convoluted, I'm not reading it. Obviously at OJ's old home they found it, gave it to this cop, he holds onto it for 13 years, then he comes up and goes, oh, by the way, this could be the knife that OJ did the deed with. Of course it just happens to be, at the time the TV series is on, he's getting, making it worth something.

[Charlie]

I found this buried in my backyard. Who knew? He's like Joseph Smith in the whole Mormon religion.

[Mike Turley]

I responded for 13.

[Bob]

So he, he needed, so he should have sold it right then before they did the test or that's probably what he was trying to do. Yes, he was trying to get. Didn't I read something about. He was trying to get it engraved with like the, the case number.

[Mike Turley]

Put the case number on it and put it, frame it and everything else and put it up in there.

[Bob]

Nobody lost his opportunity now.

[Mike Turley]

Nobody.

[Charlie]

So they say this is not connected to the Nicole Brown Simpson case.

[Mike Turley]

Are we surprised?

[Charlie]

Okay, here's the deal. Here's something by the way, because I have this kind of mind. It is a knife. It was found the former O.J. simpson estate. What we're missing are victims. As soon as they find them, dude, that knives gonna skyrocket value.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay, Charlie, are you a Starbucks user?

[Bob]

Yeah, I'll go there.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you ever get hit with that pay it forward deal when you pull up?

[Bob]

No.

[Mike Turley]

Let's pay.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, I hate it.

[Bob]

Oh, you're talking about when somebody else gets you something?

[John Clay Wolf]

No, no, no, it Happens to me all the time.

[Mike Turley]

The. The person in front of you has paid for yours.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Mike Turley]

Then you feel the obligation to pay for the guy behind you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Absolutely. That's what you're supposed to do.

[Mike Turley]

Do you do it?

[John Clay Wolf]

I did. I've been telling them, hey, save it and give it to the one behind me. Because I keep getting hung. I did it a couple times.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And I'm like, yeah, okay, we'll give my credit card. Do it for the next one. It's like 15.

[Mike Turley]

The guy behind you is ordered first.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. I mean, mine's like 265.

[Mike Turley]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's what my coffee. Coffee cost. Okay, well, then you get the next one. One day, I did it twice. One was 15 and one was 28. I'm like, I'm out on this. Pay it.

[Charlie]

$28 at Starbucks.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah.

[Mike Turley]

What have you ordered at Starbucks? Dinner.

[Charlie]

That's the bad side of socialism right there. Yeah, you like that? That's bad. That pay it forward deal.

[Mike Turley]

Does anybody think Bernie Sanders is electable with that? Come on.

[Charlie]

No, I tell you, in this day and age, he really ought to be. He really ought to be. There's nothing. There's nothing terrible to fear there.

[Mike Turley]

Socialism has failed in many, many, many, many countries.

[Charlie]

Yeah, but this isn't full on socialism. I mean.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah, all right.

[Charlie]

Where do you get your water, J.D. that you cook and clean with at your house?

[Mike Turley]

Oh, God, here we go.

[Charlie]

I'm just saying, did you dig your own hole? No. The municipality where you got together.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hang on.

[Charlie]

And they cleaned the water.

[John Clay Wolf]

You are a redneck at heart. You live in small town Texas. Your dad is the guy at the.

[Charlie]

Coffee shop, and you pay a municipal bill every month, and that's where you get your water. That's socialism.

[John Clay Wolf]

You're gonna vote for Bernie Sanders. I mean, what. Where did your parents bump their head with you? You've told me about how your parents raised you. Wouldn't your dad come down here if he heard you say that? Whip your ass?

[Charlie]

No, no, no. We have great conversations now, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, it used not to be.

[Charlie]

It's awesome. No, it's always been great. I've always been kind of a little upstart.

[John Clay Wolf]

So if he's not, he's a Tea Partyer, right?

[Charlie]

Heavy duty Bush Jr. Ruined the Republican Party for me. That second invasion of Iraq, bad idea. And now you can tell. Now he's doing very poorly.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right. Look at his brother.

[Charlie]

I mean, I just. I think they're all fascist, man. They just want me to be just like them. And I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna have that haircut, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Your dad doesn't flip out when you tell him you want to be a social socialist.

[Charlie]

I don't want to be a socialist.

[John Clay Wolf]

You just said you want to vote for Bernie Sanders.

[Charlie]

Well, but he's not a socialist. He's not like he's self proclaimed socialist, democratic, social. He's not like Joseph Stalin. He's been a senator for 40 years. I mean, he's inside the democratic system.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

You know, so he's not that kind of socialism. If you're scared of a word like socialism, dude, don't even talk politics to me. Because there's so much in this country that works, that is socialism.

[Mike Turley]

I'm not scared of it. It's not electable.

[Charlie]

Well, I, I agree. I don't think he's elected. He's right up on high on that list of things that can't. That won't be voted for by the.

[Mike Turley]

He's a democratic Ruby at this time.

[Charlie]

It's just a shame because he's saying a lot of good things, man. About income inequality, you know, and why can't community college be free? I'm not talking about tcu. He is not talking about smu. Talk about Cook County College up in Gainesville. Why can't that be free? Why can't we? For the richest country in the world, why can't we do that?

[John Clay Wolf]

Hang on, Turley. I'm gonna grab this call. Mark real quick. 2012 Camaro with 70 is a six cylinder or four.

[I]

It's a six cylinder, John. Hey, you remember you used to have your buddy call Beverly to the stripper stage? I'd do it on her birthday every year.

[John Clay Wolf]

I do. That's been a while, man. That's been a while.

[I]

Yeah, it has. Hey, check it out, man. She's not a stripper. But all strippers buy yellow Camaros and she went and bought one.

[John Clay Wolf]

You just dropped an F bomb on FCC Airways. I think we bumped it out, though. I think we caught it.

[I]

Sorry for the F bomb.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's okay. It's all good.

[Charlie]

That's what that cocaine does to you. Now listen, what you need.

[John Clay Wolf]

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

[Charlie]

I want to.

[John Clay Wolf]

I want to buy a car. Does she want to sell it? Are you just playing around, Mark? Does she want to sell it?

[I]

Yeah, she does.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's a yellow stripper. Yellow with it. Black cloth and stick shift.

[I]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, it's got to be.

[Mike Turley]

Of course.

[John Clay Wolf]

Does it have hubcaps or wheels?

[I]

It's got hubcaps.

[John Clay Wolf]

John, do this because I'd like to see the gal that we've been bringing out on the stage for years.

[I]

Yeah, I will take a picture and email it to you.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah, get her in front of the car and just very provocative. I mean, y' all sound like a party crew. So let me take it all the way, man. Just take it. All right. Yeah.

[I]

We're drinking rum and sitting in Galveston, looking at the Gulf of Mexico.

[John Clay Wolf]

Go as heavy as you feel comfortable. And. And I will not judge you, but I will. It will influence my bid on your car. Go to givemetheven.com and send us some photos. And tell Beverly.

[I]

No doubt about it.

[John Clay Wolf]

High five.

[I]

If I can get her to take her top off, I'll even send a picture with the vin.

[John Clay Wolf]

We would appreciate that.

[Bob]

With the vin.

[John Clay Wolf]

Actually, if you could take a pen and write the VIN number across her bosom.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Then. Then this would get some traction. And we could cut. We could cut her head off if you want to.

[Bob]

Yeah, we just need the.

[I]

This is marketing at its finest.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yes. Yes. If we could have the VIN number running high and low across the Grand Canyon there, that would be awesome.

[I]

All right, man. I'm gonna get her to do it. I'll send you some pictures at.

[John Clay Wolf]

Give me myven.com givemetheven.com thanks, Mark.

[Charlie]

Something to look forward to.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's a die hard. He's just sitting there chilling with us, and he hears us. We're struggling a little bit. We're running out of material. We're getting tired.

[Charlie]

Long time listener, too.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. And he's like, hey, I'm gonna give these guys something to talk about.

[Charlie]

Hey, guys, here comes Beverly on the main stage. Coming your way. She's tired, she's hot, she's rummy.

[John Clay Wolf]

I will be right back.

[Show Promo Announcer]

Now back to the John Clay Wolf show. Hit him up right now. 1, 800, 800 radio. This is the John Clay Wolf Show.

[John Clay Wolf]

800, 800, 7, 2, 3, 4. How much time we got left? 12 minutes. Yes, 12 minutes left. Call in now if you want me to bid your car. Just go to givemen.com. give me the vi.com.

[Bob]

It'S the time to sell your car right now, right?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. The market's real high. Market's crazy high. It's on. It's on like Donkey Kong or bids high as they get all year. This is the highest month of the year for the used car market. Every year it's the same thing. The tax money drives it.

[Mike Turley]

Oh, okay. People getting their Tax money and going out to buy new cars.

[Charlie]

Tis the season. It's so relaxed now, though, compared to a few years ago. We used to jam these calls down. I mean, do a hundred on Saturday. You remember that?

[John Clay Wolf]

Well, now we've got the website. They all go there. So we've got a hundred sitting in the queue on the website and that's where they're going.

[Bob]

What's the website, Babo?

[Charlie]

Givemetheven.com.

[John Clay Wolf]

Givemetheven.Com. It's so easy. You can do it in your underwear. Yes, or topless, as the lady's gonna show us here in a minute.

[Bob]

You think he's gonna come through with that?

[John Clay Wolf]

I do. I have faith. This guy's sitting on the. This guy's sitting on the beach in Galveston, chilling and drinking with his old lady. And he's listening to us on a little radio next to him. This guy's got a personality. He's into our gig. He. He gets our humor.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Eleven in the morning.

[John Clay Wolf]

Where did you get your. Where did you get your humor, Bob? Did you have a grandparent? Because it's not your parents.

[Charlie]

You know, my grandfather was pretty funny guy. This is a guy with a true ironic sense. Did I ever tell you about him?

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[Charlie]

He was in World War II. He was a mechanic.

[John Clay Wolf]

Sounds funny to me.

[Charlie]

One of the first platoons. No to go, you know, over in World War II, North Africa with. Not Eisenhower, but whoever was in charge there. Patton crossed to Sicily and Italy and through Austria. Battle of the Bulge. Was a mechanic. Front line tank mechanic. Not a scratch. Never got a scratch on him. Came back from the war, blew his damn leg off in the oil Field in 1955. All right, so he was one legged all my life. And he wore.

[John Clay Wolf]

You gotta be funny to be one legged.

[Charlie]

He wore a big wooden prosthetic leg, you know, and he had all kinds of tricks. Him and his old friend Trader Jack used to stab that leg and freak us kids out. Oh, quit stagging me. Oh, quit stabbing me, Jack. It hurts. Oh. What's a wooden leg?

[John Clay Wolf]

He blew his leg off in the oil field after all that war time.

[Charlie]

He told us kids when we always. Invariably some cousin that didn't live in town would come. What happened to your leg, Papa?

[Mike Turley]

What? What?

[Charlie]

How did you lose your leg? He always tell his kids. He'd say a bird pecked it off. And then he'd sit and he'd look up at the trees, big pecan trees in his yard back then, and say, and there he is.

[Bob]

Oh, my Lord, you know, so that makes sense.

[Mike Turley]

Now go take a nap.

[Charlie]

And you kind of buy it at the time. You know, you're thinking, wow, there's that bird. I bet he hates that bird. And I've seen him do this before. Wow. He's just sitting out there. I think he's just sitting out here because he hates that bird, the bird that pecked his leg off.

[John Clay Wolf]

My grandparents are pretty funny.

[Mike Turley]

Are they?

[John Clay Wolf]

My grandmother was real funny on my dad's son. She was old school, to say the least. All these damn women drivers. She'd be driving and nodding her head when she's driving. And she. She was real proud of herself.

[Charlie]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

They came from nothing and made something. Something.

[Mike Turley]

Sure.

[John Clay Wolf]

And. And she had a Rolls Royce and a. She drove a Rolls.

[Mike Turley]

Did she really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, yeah. They had money. She got a new Rolls every. Every three years.

[Mike Turley]

Where'd they get the money?

[John Clay Wolf]

Construction business.

[Mike Turley]

Okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

And. And. And she was just uppity, but. But country uppity. It was like with money. Yeah. I mean, I hate to say that. I'm not gonna say white trash, but not as bad as the Clampets, a little bit. It was city that moved to country. But she's pretty funny about it. Pretty damn funny. But always packed heat. Be sitting there watching the cow.

[Mike Turley]

Really?

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. I love her back then he's sitting there watching the cowboy game. I love her with her. 38 sitting next to her just in.

[Charlie]

Case she has to shoot the tv.

[John Clay Wolf]

Right.

[Mike Turley]

Bless America.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who is that driving down the street? Who is that? Because they moved to the country, bought a big ranch. Right. And if anybody was on the road, who in the hell is that on my road?

[Mike Turley]

Right on my road.

[John Clay Wolf]

So now we've got people. I live in her house. I bought it from my dad. And across the street, they finally sold the land across the street. My grandfather sold it to him, promising made a deal that they would never build houses. And when they started building houses back in like 80, he put up pigs on a mile worth of frontage. He called a buddy of his that was a pig farmer.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

Here's what we're putting a couple thousand pigs.

[Mike Turley]

We're gonna stop this.

[John Clay Wolf]

We stopped this. Yes. So now I look up and all the ranch is gone. My dad peed it off and sold it and lost it. And I've got this one section left. That was the original place. And across the street, here comes the houses. And of course, a African American preacher driving a Corvette. I mean, this is karma for me, right?

[Mike Turley]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

Yeah. I have nothing.

[Charlie]

It could be lives when I'M sitting.

[John Clay Wolf]

At my dinner table, I'm looking at this guy's Corvette now. Yeah, I mean, it's right there. And we live in the middle of nowhere. And the guy that happens to build a home like his driveway. If you got my driveway, and go straight, go into his house.

[Mike Turley]

Used to be nothing.

[John Clay Wolf]

Nothing.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

And he happens to be an African American man.

[Mike Turley]

Not that it matters.

[John Clay Wolf]

That is a. That. That is a preacher that drives a. Not a Corvette, but a new Corvette. But he doesn't drive it. He just hides it over there and that makes it worse.

[Charlie]

What do you mean hides it? You think grandma would be happy?

[John Clay Wolf]

It's just a weekend or.

[Mike Turley]

Oh, okay.

[John Clay Wolf]

He doesn't, he doesn't show it off to the people, you know, when he's running his other game.

[Bob]

Oh, you can't, can't look too wealthy.

[Charlie]

Seriously.

[John Clay Wolf]

Mama drives a CTSV Caddy and works for the Corps of Engineers. Probably 50 grand a year. I don't know. What do. I think Grammy would be happy. I think Grammy would have burnt the home down.

[Mike Turley]

Oh, my Lord. Oh my Lord. That's not.

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[Charlie]

Do you think she's over there haunting those folks?

[John Clay Wolf]

I think that Grammy. It just wouldn't have happened. It just wouldn't have happened. They. They didn't. They would have bought all the lots and stopped it. And I, I feel like a failure that I let this. Well, no, you couldn't control. It has nothing to do with the black preacher.

[Charlie]

No, no, Everybody.

[Bob]

People are there. Yes.

[Charlie]

Have you guys talked?

[Mike Turley]

The fact that someone.

[John Clay Wolf]

My wife swears that she's in the house. Oh, she's dead.

[Bob]

Oh, you're talking about your gravy.

[Charlie]

No, no, I mean, have you and the neighbors talked?

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh, yeah.

[Charlie]

Nice guy, you know, stand out by the driveway and drink beer?

[John Clay Wolf]

Not drink beer, but yeah, I mean, I've talked to him. He's a preacher. He's a preacher?

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's driving a new Corvette. His wife drives a sixty thousand dollar Caddy and he's a preacher. And that's so against the deal, dude. I hate evangelistic preachers. You think he is those that take.

[Bob]

Advantage like that he has family money.

[John Clay Wolf]

Who knows he's got church money. I've been in the used car business too long and seen this racket at the auction that I used to own in Louisiana. I had an auction for about three years and the reverend, I'm not gonna say his name, but he'd come pay with the damn cars. He'd used car dealer and he's reverend and he'd pay with church check. People, people, people, people. And if Trump does anything, I hope he gets rid of that clergyman discount BS because that is such a racket. They're not paying taxes.

[Charlie]

Hey man.

[Bob]

On his platform. I don't remember that.

[John Clay Wolf]

It needs to be.

[Charlie]

Yeah, that's. That would get him a lot of votes too.

[Mike Turley]

I don't believe Joel Osteen happy about that.

[Charlie]

It's such a rip off though. I remember being really satisfied when I moved to Electra and I lived across from a black family for the first time. I'm from a fairly racist little town in north central Texas and it was so gratifying. Old Doug Monroe was my neighbor. Nice guy. He passed away a couple years ago but you know, and I got to know somebody. I felt diverse and like I was really. So you get wanted. He's a preacher. You can't even drink beer with him. You sure can't hang with him.

[John Clay Wolf]

He would probably cuss, smoke dope, drink beer and do shots and go to the whorehouse with him. If he's the kind of preacher that would drive around in a Corvette and hide it and his old lady drives a CTSV and they're playing poor me on. On the front side of the clergy and then living deep.

[Charlie]

Feel him out. You got to find out. It's your name.

[John Clay Wolf]

I already have you.

[Charlie]

You could be greatly enriched by this.

[John Clay Wolf]

He's a hustler, Bob. Well I mean that's, you know, allegedly. Well I haven't said anything.

[Mike Turley]

I know all the time job now I just throw that in in case it ever shows up in court. That works somewhere near everything we say.

[John Clay Wolf]

So grandma. Yeah I don't think she would. She would be too down. No at all.

[Charlie]

Well so bless her heart.

[John Clay Wolf]

It's it. She was. She was wrong with a lot of.

[Mike Turley]

Her beliefs anyway grandma with a 38.

[Charlie]

What you're saying about that generation though being old fashioned? I mean they went through a lot man. If you think about the depression, World War I, a lot of them. She was probably old enough for World War I, right.

[John Clay Wolf]

I'll never forget. We're down at the construction company. This is back during two way radio when every before the cell phones and.

[Megan]

Right.

[John Clay Wolf]

So all the trucks, you know we had about a hundred trucks they did in the fleet construction rigs doing. Putting in utility services, phone services and she hurt. She called you know 13 which was base 13 to 406. 13, 406, I need you to bring your rig into the shop. I need to talk to you in this. What do you need to talk to me about Mrs. Wolf? I've got some plans. I. This is all on the radio, so everybody that has a radio here, well, we've heard that, we've. We got a report that your rig is at the, you know, Snoop and Gloop bar or whatever. And they go through this whole deal. He's drunk enough to carry it on the two way radio. And she said, you should. You just need to bring your truck in here and turn in your keys and. And he says, Ms. Wolf, am I fired? Should. Yes, sir, you're fired. He said, well, I'm gonna leave the truck over here at the bar then because I got a hell of a buzz going and I hate to lose it.

[Charlie]

Right. That brand of realism back then, no.

[Mike Turley]

Point bringing the truck in.

[Charlie]

Those people all had a sense of humor, man.

[John Clay Wolf]

Oh yeah, back then it had no, nothing to do with him being drunk. No, you're drunk. Drive the truck back to the office.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah, drive the truck.

[John Clay Wolf]

Nobody wore seat belts, no seat belts. BMW is shutting down as a brand over. Over airbag inflators. And it's not that they don't work, it's that they over inflate and they'll. They'll bruise you up. And I'm sure they've killed some people, but so have a lot of things, but God, mister, the whole thing down over an airbag. I mean, just put your damn seat belt on. We made it for a while without airbags last time I checked.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah, we did. And without seat belts and without car.

[Charlie]

Seat belts for a damn in car seats.

[John Clay Wolf]

Do you remember when the seat belt laws went in and people like, I'm getting a three quarter ton truck because you don't have to wear a seat belt. Three quarter ton truck.

[Charlie]

You don't have to wear it. Back seat.

[John Clay Wolf]

No, no, no. Do you have to wear one in the backseat now?

[Bob]

I don't know.

[Charlie]

I don't see anybody do it.

[Bob]

Yeah, you're supposed to, dude.

[Charlie]

I rode from my hometown all the way to Cuesta, New Mexico. You know where that is?

[John Clay Wolf]

No.

[Charlie]

Between Red river and, and Taos.

[John Clay Wolf]

Okay.

[Charlie]

Standing on the hump in the back seat of a Chrysler whatever station wagon.

[John Clay Wolf]

I used to get up in the area behind the seats where the windshield went down in the back. Oh yeah.

[Mike Turley]

Heck yeah.

[Charlie]

You sleep there. Just get on your knees.

[John Clay Wolf]

What if they hit something?

[Charlie]

You would be a projectile, you know, I would have been a projectile.

[John Clay Wolf]

I don't know what changed. Everybody's so uptight.

[Mike Turley]

The government got involved.

[Charlie]

Safety, safety.

[John Clay Wolf]

You want to vote for Bernie Sanders, right?

[Charlie]

Yep.

[John Clay Wolf]

That's totally.

[Charlie]

I didn't pick Bernie Sanders out of it.

[John Clay Wolf]

Sounded like it a minute ago.

[Charlie]

You just asked if I could vote for him. I mean, I could vote for him.

[Mike Turley]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Over Hillary, probably.

[John Clay Wolf]

All right, Pulp Fiction music is on. That means we are out of here. Falker out. My name is John Clay Wolf. We will be working downstairs in the buyer's room until 4 o' clock today. So if you want to bid on your car. If you want to bid on your car, go to Give me the VIN v I n givemetheven.com and we will email you an offer. We will come to your home, pick it up, give you a check, will pay off your payoff. Easiest thing you've ever done in your life. Actually play them the Jingle Turley so they know how easy it is on the way out.

[Mike Turley]

Easy is it.

[John Clay Wolf]

We will see you next Saturday.

[Charlie]

Sell us your car. So easy you can do it in your underwear.

[Podbean Announcer]

Podbean, your message amplified.

[Bob]

Ready to share your message with the world? Start your podcast journey with podbean.

[Podbean Announcer]

Podbean, the AI powered all in one podcast platform.

[Bob]

Thousands of businesses and enterprises trust Podbean to launch their podcasts.

[Podbean Announcer]

Use Podbean to record your podcast.

[Bob]

Use PodBean AI to optimize your podcast.

[Podbean Announcer]

Use PodBean AI to turn your blog into a podcast.

[Bob]

Use Podbean to distribute your podcast everywhere.

[Podbean Announcer]

Launch your podcast on PodBean today.