The John Clay Wolfe Show

Episode #22 – Hour 3 (Aired: February 11, 2026)
Host: John Clay Wolfe | Featuring: Charlie, Bob, Mike Turley, others

Episode Overview

This episode is classic John Clay Wolfe: a fast-paced, unpredictable mix of car talk, political riffing, music, and off-the-cuff storytelling. The show dives into topical debates (literally), lampoons political culture, reminisces about music and business, and takes calls from listeners looking to sell their vehicles—often with a hefty side of Texan banter and irreverent humor.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Car Appraisals, Callers & Running Gags

• Listener Calls: John starts the hour appraising an '05 Mazda 3 Sport, gently telling the owner it's basically a parts car.
  • “On a 05 Sport with 135, it’s parts.” – John Clay Wolfe (01:17)
• Radio Sponsors & Hustling: On sponsor ads and making deals, John jokes about splitting revenue with his crew.
  • “Anything you sell them, I'll give you 20.” – John Clay Wolfe (02:12)
• Show Running Gags: The recurring ribbing among hosts peaks with playful accusations (“accidental racist,” “cruel to animals”).

2. News of the Weird & Political Satire

• Weird News: Turley tells a wild Portland story involving a woman attacked by a “pirate” on LSD who thought he was a high elf.
  • “He told officers he had taken LSD, identified himself as the High Elf engaged in battle with the evil Morthgroth.” – Mike Turley (02:51)
• Political Debate Recap & Impressions (04:00 - 08:30):
  • The cast lampoons a Republican debate featuring Trump, Cruz, and Rubio. Trump’s infamous “small hands” retort is replayed, as is the chaos between moderators and candidates.
  • “If they're small, something else must be small. I guarantee you, there's no problem.” — Donald Trump (03:59, replay)
  • “Count to ten, Donald. Breathe.” – John Clay Wolfe (04:13)
• Ted Cruz Critique: General dislike for Cruz’s “preacher/lawyer” vibe and impressions likening him to cartoonish figures.
  • “Every time I see him speak, I hear a preacher slash lawyer… speaking to the jury.” – John Clay Wolfe (07:07)

3. Political Opinions & Electability

• Kasich as the Sensible Republican: Several hosts express they'd prefer John Kasich over the other GOP frontrunners—despite his low favorability.
• Voting Dilemmas:
  • “If you had to vote today, it was Bernie Sanders.”
  • “We're already living socialist.” – Charlie & John (09:34-09:47)
  • They debate whether Bernie Sanders is electable, with arguments about American attitudes towards “socialism.”
• Trump “the Hustler”: Consensus that whatever happens, Trump’s brand value climbs. “He’s making his brand worth billions… If this doesn’t work out for him, hey, no problem.” – Bob (11:23)

4. Inside Radio, Music Nostalgia & Willie Nelson

• Radio Politics: John shares irritation over being scolded by a station boss for giving a politician airtime, poking fun at strict FCC rules.
• Red Dirt & Willie Nelson: Reminiscence over John’s days as a bar owner and the early '90s music scene. Comparison of Jack Ingram to Willie, and banter about Ingram needing a hit.
• Willie Nelson’s New Album: The crew jokes about Willie's latest—Willie Sings Gershwin—and speculate on what it would be like if other classic rockers sang country standards.
  • “It’s gotta suck. It’s gonna be terrible.” – John Clay Wolfe on the album (14:36)
  • Charlie belts out snippets of “Summertime” as if he were Willie.

5. Show Origins & Personal Histories (18:32 - 21:00)

• How the Show Started: John talks about the show’s first days in Wichita Falls and how his “call in and I’ll bid your car” concept took off.
• Family Lore: Charlie and John share stories about their grandparents—leg amputations, sense of humor, “driving Rolls Royces and packing heat.”

6. Comedy & the 2016 Primary: Trump vs. Rubio

• Political Stand-up Bits: Fake audio from a supposed Marco Rubio & Donald Trump comedy tour lampoons their debate insults, culminates in awkward punchlines.
  • “You know how much damage someone with a micro penis can do?” – Fake Marco Rubio (23:01)
  • "Tell him it's a raft… Immigration services [are] driving the truck." – Charlie doing Trump jokes (25:02)
• Republican Primary Circus: The cast bemoans the outlandishness and unpredictability of the race.

7. OJ’s Knife, Starbucks Etiquette, and Socialism (27:36 - 32:26)

• OJ Simpson Knife News: They mock reports about a supposedly found knife at OJ’s home, linking it to classic American hype.
• “Pay it Forward” at Starbucks: John vents about being stuck with someone else’s high-priced tab, calling it “the bad side of socialism.”
• Bernie Sanders & Socialism: Extended argument about why Sanders isn’t truly “radical,” and a primer on everyday American socialism (municipal water, etc.).

8. Listener Engagement & Show Antics

• Caller Mark & the Yellow Camaro: A devoted listener calls in about selling a yellow Camaro; the hosts riff on “strippers and Camaros” (common radio trope) and escalate to joking about topless photos for higher car bids.
• “If you could take a pen and write the VIN number across her bosom…this would get some traction.” – John Clay Wolfe (34:09)
• The conversation closes with thanks and reminders to submit cars via the website.

9. Car Market Insight

• Tax Season = Peak Car Selling: John urges listeners to sell during this peak period, driven by people using tax refunds to buy used cars.
  • “As high as they get all year…tax money drives it.” – John Clay Wolfe (35:59)

10. Final Stories & Reflections

• Grandparent Stories: The guys reminisce about grandparents, rural life, and generational differences (“my grandmother always packed heat…she had a Rolls”).
• Seatbelts and Safety: Nostalgia for “projectile kids” in back seats pre-safety laws.
• Neighborhood Change: John laments the subdivision of family land and seeing new neighbors, including a prosperous preacher whose “hidden” Corvette prompts a rant against tax loopholes for clergy.
  • “If Trump does anything I hope he gets rid of that clergyman discount BS because that is such a racket.” – John Clay Wolfe (42:11)
• Racial/Economic Diversity: Charlie tells of how moving next to a black family changed his small-town Texas perspective.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Trump’s Campaign Style:
  • “He just says it and people go—okay.” – Charlie (11:14)
• On Modern Political Debates:
  • “We need to learn to respect each other. Megan, let me just ask the voters at home, is this the debate you want playing out in the General election?” – John Clay Wolfe (05:08)
• On Radio Show Evolution:
  • “It has gotten completely off the rails. I mean, it is slowly, more terribly so, though.” – John Clay Wolfe (19:56)
• Banter on Socialism vs. American Life
  • “If you’re scared of a word like socialism, dude, don’t even talk politics to me. Because there’s so much in this country that works that is socialism.” – Charlie (31:42)
• On Generational Change:
  • “What changed? Everybody’s so uptight.” – John Clay Wolfe (46:40)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|-------------------------------------| | 01:05 | Listener car appraisal starts | | 02:51 | “High Elf” LSD news story | | 04:00 | 2016 GOP debate recap & Trump soundbites | | 07:07 | Ted Cruz “preacher/lawyer” impressions | | 13:11 | John’s music promoter days/Red dirt scene | | 14:20 | Extended riffing on Willie Nelson’s new album | | 18:42 | Show beginnings and early radio history | | 21:01 | Marco Rubio vs. Trump comedy bit | | 27:36 | Latest news on OJ’s knife | | 29:09 | Starbucks “pay it forward” annoyance | | 31:00 | Why “socialism” isn’t a scary word | | 33:16 | Longtime listener/Yellow Camaro call| | 35:59 | Car market advice—peak season | | 36:56 | Grandparent stories | | 42:11 | Rant against clergy tax breaks | | 46:00 | Old-school driving & seatbelt law nostalgia |

Episode Takeaways

• Expect the unexpected: whether it’s high-energy car deals or trenchant criticisms of contemporary politics, the show is as off-the-cuff as it is consistent in its irreverence.
• The humor is frequently self-deprecating, sometimes biting, with plenty of inside jokes and callbacks for longtime fans.
• The car biz is both a business and a backdrop; the hosts’ personal histories, musical tastes, and politics are central.
• The cast isn't shy about airing political opinions, drawing lines between old-school skepticism, Texan libertarianism, and occasional progressivism—all tongue-in-cheek.

For New Listeners

If you’re new to The John Clay Wolfe Show, this episode is a prime sampler of its blend: wild stories, sharp satire, deep dives into car culture (serious and not), with vivid Texas color and a strong sense of not taking anything, including themselves, too seriously.
Expect political incorrectness, genuine banter, and lots of “did they just say that?” moments.