The John Clay Wolfe Show – Episode #85 (02/25/2017)

Date: February 25, 2017
Host: John Clay Wolfe
Powered by: GiveMeTheVIN.com

Episode Overview

The John Clay Wolfe Show delivers its signature blend of irreverent car talk, offbeat humor, and discussions about sports, culture, and life’s oddities. In this episode, John and his colorful cast field car-buying calls from across the nation, riff on the week’s current events, drop outrageous jokes and stories, and unveil a bold (and cheeky) new marketing campaign for their car buying business. Regular skits and characters—including the wisecracking “Randy the Chipmunk,” colorful callers, and in-studio guests—keep the fast-paced banter rolling.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Show Kickoff: The Crew & Studio Antics

• [01:03] John introduces the solo crew—just him and Uncle Roy—joking that everyone else quit. The team discusses a homeless man outside the studio, riffing on his shoeless comfort and their regular encounters with studio “neighbors.”
  • "I noticed that there’s a homeless man outside our door... But I was surprised to see that he didn’t have any shoes on." — John [01:26]
• Hannah and Bobbo join, expanding the banter about odd studio happenings.

2. Tense Workplace Tales & Car Business Realities

• [02:16] Uncle Roy recounts a workplace incident: a white driver makes a racist remark at a Tractor Supply, leading to a dramatic confrontation and a stopped truck on the highway.
  • "He went in there and asked for some n’s. ... We stopped right in the middle of 30. And I snatched his door. ... That was personal." — Uncle Roy [03:07–04:02]
• The segment shines a rare spotlight on race, dignity, and respect in blue-collar workplaces, all handled with a frank but even-handed humor.
• Promotions within the team: “Junior” gets “the ring” and is now in charge of hiring/firing in logistics—a lighthearted nod to mafia-movie rituals.
  • "You gave him the ring?" — John / "I gave him the lease." — Uncle Roy [06:21–06:23]

3. Car Calls: The GiveMeTheVIN.com Pitch in Action

• Throughout: Listeners call in to get bids or sell their vehicles—a core segment.
• John demonstrates his rapid-fire car appraisals, often resulting in quick deals and unsentimental explanations about market value.
  • "I think just off the top of my head, it’s a $6,000 rig. ... We’ll verify that, email you the offer letter. You write back, accept, and then we’ll have a guy at your house just like last time with a check in hand to pick it up." — John [12:20–12:43]
  • "Put me down for 30 grand." — John, on a 2014 Lariat [14:09]
• Sincere customer testimonials are sprinkled in, reinforcing the show’s car-buying credibility.
  • "It went fantastic, actually. ... Gave us a check and that was it." — Caller [11:28]

4. Pop Culture Banter: Award Shows, Boats, and Strippers

• Oscars & Hollywood
  • [08:16] The crew debates whether the Academy Awards are worth watching, poking fun at Hollywood’s self-importance.
  • "Do you think people are gonna boycott the Oscars over all the noise?" — J.D. [08:43]
  • "There are six awards you care about anyway...so it's not just a smash bang em fun show to watch." — Hannah [09:30]
• Boats and Mishaps
  • [18:11] J.D. Turley details an expensive starter issue on his boat, drawing out the show’s running theme: “it’s a used boat, sir.”
• Stripper Stories
  • [39:02] Hannah (the show's recurring "stripper" persona) shares about the lucrative “stripper trifecta: Super Bowl, Valentine’s, and Lent,” and discusses buying an MG car with her earnings.
  • "Not everybody's got a wife or girlfriend, clearly. But I can be anybody's girlfriend for two songs." — Stripper Hannah [39:13]

5. Natty Light Parodies & Jingles

• [28:13–99:01] Multiple parody ads for Natty Light are performed, lampooning “the world’s biggest son of a bitch” character as he drinks beer, skews masculinity, and navigates questionable life choices.
  • "Hey man, I don't always drink beer, but when I do, make mine a Natty Light. Tall boy. Yeah, buddy." — Hannah (as parody narrator) [28:39, 32:39, 99:36]
• New GiveMeTheVIN.com jingle revealed (and repeatedly performed):
  • [15:48, 45:46, 89:01, 146:29]
    • "Sell us your car. We'll beat your CarMax offer or we'll kiss your ass." — Show chorus

6. Game Segment: “White, Black, Latino, or Other”

• [33:43] J.D. reads news of Florida man crime—crew guesses the ethnicity. The bit is both tongue-in-cheek and a pointed satire of news tropes.
  • "A Florida man punched his girlfriend and struck her with a sex toy... Do you think he’s white, black, Latino, or other?" — J.D. [33:56]
  • "John would be right. Here's the picture of the lovely couple." — J.D. [35:15–35:17]

7. Strange Laws & Satirical News

• [78:04] Casey Kasem “returns” for a countdown of the “top ten stupidest U.S. laws still on the books” (e.g., illegal to harass Bigfoot in Washington; policemen biting dogs in Ohio).
• [51:01, 51:12] Rodeo culture, motocross, and bull-riding event attendance are dissected in signature regional flavor.
  • "A rodeo is a very big part of culture, man, around here." — Hannah [51:49]

8. Behind the Scenes: Honest (and Dishonest) Customers

• [63:38] John and the crew discuss customers hiding damage in photos, reconstructing titles, or trying to conceal defects, but generally praise most listeners’ honesty.
  • "I think I'd rather buy cars off of our listeners than dealers." — John [66:36]

9. Electric Cars, Legal Weed, & Texas Car Culture

• [67:02–67:39] Discussion about the secondary market for electric cars—particularly the heavy depreciation of Teslas and Nissan Leafs.
  • "There's not a car that depreciates harder on the marketplace than Tesla." — John [67:21]
• Texas marijuana laws and “dope reports” delivered with tongue-in-cheek solemnity:
  • "There's a great product coming out of Colorado now... but all your buddies are being arrested as soon as they hit Amarillo." — Hannah [58:13]

10. Recurring Gags & Show Stunts

• Randy the Chipmunk delivers an anecdote about a promiscuous dog and animal activists with classic rural Texas satire ([103:02–106:37]).
• Loud, recurring reminders:
  • “GiveMeTheVIN.com – sell us your car, so easy you can do it in your underwear.” [Multiple appearances]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dealing With Racist Coworkers:
  "We stopped right in the middle of 30. And I snatched his door... [That was personal]." — Uncle Roy [03:07–04:02]

• On Car Markets:
  "I give $30,000 this week and next week I sell 'em for 29. Sometimes...they know it makes perfect sense. I'm glad we're all dealing with good sense." — John [23:53]

• On Strip Club Finances:
  "I got like $19,000 for Valentine’s week." — Stripper Hannah [39:09]
  "But I can be anybody's girlfriend for two songs. It's like a lap dance marathon." — Stripper [39:13]

• On Car Buying Business:
  "It's like pizza delivery, just flipped. You're giving them the pizza and they're paying you!" — John [12:04]
  "We pay all the money, and right here in tax season, we can give extra money." — John (on car buying in tax season) [17:04, etc.]

• On Radio Campaigns:
  "Sell us your car. We'll beat your CarMax offer or we'll kiss your ass." — Group jingle [15:48, 45:46, 89:01, 146:29]

  • This sparks debate over taste and family-friendliness on air ([148:02–151:13]).

• On Honesty in Transactions:
  "I'm very impressed with our listeners and our customers because that rarely happens. People are honest. More so than you would think." — John [66:20]

Important Timestamps

• [01:03] — Studio banter, “homeless guy at the door”
• [02:16] — Uncle Roy’s confrontation story
• [08:16] — Academy Awards boycott discussion
• [12:20] — Classic car-deal example/caller testimonial
• [18:11] — J.D.’s boat woes / “used boat, sir”
• [28:13] — First “World’s Biggest Son of a Bitch”/Natty Light parody
• [33:43] — “White, Black, Latino or Other” segment
• [39:02] — Stripper Hannah, “stripper trifecta”
• [45:46] — First appearance of “Kiss Your Ass” jingle (see above for repeated uses)
• [66:20] — Listener honesty / “I’d rather buy from listeners than dealers”
• [78:04] — Casey Kasem top-ten dumb laws countdown
• [89:01] — Bold campaign jingle, “I’ll kiss your ass if I don’t beat CarMax”
• [103:02] — Randy the Chipmunk’s dog rescue story
• [146:29] — Live commercial recording for new “Kiss Your Ass” campaign

Tone & Style

The John Clay Wolfe Show’s tone is fast, loose, and unapologetically brash—much like classic morning radio from the American South, but with a strong car business backbone. Jokes, off-color humor, and regional flavor abound, but all folded into a generally good-natured and inviting atmosphere. The show takes pride in both its no-nonsense approach to car buying and in not taking itself too seriously.

Summary

This episode delivers everything fans expect: down-to-earth car deals, fearless satire, raw storytelling, and musical/comedy skits packed with Texan attitude. The GiveMeTheVIN.com team brings listeners behind the scenes, exposing both the business logic and human quirks driving America’s used car market, while weaving in riotous comedy segments, biting pop culture commentary, and a dash of real-world reflection from Uncle Roy and other regulars.

Listeners are treated to:

• Insider know-how (and reality checks) on buying/selling vehicles
• Irreverent skits about strippers, car dealers, and the “World’s Biggest SOB”
• Candid discussion of workplace conflict and social issues
• Offbeat news games and “real” customer testimonials
• A new, over-the-top marketing promise—“We’ll beat your CarMax offer or we’ll kiss your ass!”—epitomizing the show’s playful, in-your-face brand.

Missed the episode?
Even if you didn’t hear a minute live, this summary brings you into the funny, wild, off-the-cuff world of John Clay Wolfe and his crew—where car deals are king, but nobody is off-limits for a joke.