Podcast Summary: The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast | Episode 565: Unlocking the Hidden Power Of Body Language with Vanessa Van Edwards

In Episode 565 of The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast, Dr. Jordan B. Peterson engages in a profound discussion with Vanessa Van Edwards, a renowned behavioral researcher, best-selling author, and Harvard University instructor. Titled "Unlocking the Hidden Power Of Body Language," the episode delves into the intricate world of nonverbal communication, exploring how body language shapes our interactions, influences perceptions, and impacts professional and personal relationships.

1. Introduction to Body Language and First Impressions

Vanessa Van Edwards sets the stage by emphasizing the critical role of body language in making robust first impressions. She challenges the notion that soft skills are innate, advocating that they can be meticulously studied and mastered.

Vanessa Van Edwards [00:23]: "Soft skills can be learned even if they don't come naturally to you."

The conversation kicks off with an analysis of posture and seating during interactions. Vanessa highlights the importance of aligning one's body parallel to others to foster comfort and trust.

Vanessa Van Edwards [01:44]: "The brain loves when we're on parallel lines."

2. The Trifecta of Awkwardness in First Impressions

Jordan Peterson and Vanessa identify a "trifecta of awkwardness" that often hampers first impressions:

• Turtle Posture: Shrinking one's physical presence due to anxiety.
• Vocal Compression: Reduced vocal power stemming from tense neck muscles.
• Uptalk: Ending statements with a rising intonation, resembling questions.

Vanessa Van Edwards [02:24]: "There's this trifecta of, I would say, awkwardness that can happen in a first impression and they all are related to each other."

These behaviors signal nervousness and can trigger subconscious mistrust, as uptalk is often associated with deceit.

Vanessa Van Edwards [03:40]: "The brain goes from listening to scrutinizing... we say, hey, nice to see you."

3. Warmth vs. Competence: Balancing Nonverbal Signals

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the balance between warmth and competence—two pivotal attributes that shape how individuals are perceived.

• Competence: Linked to conscientiousness, it involves demonstrating reliability and problem-solving abilities.
• Warmth: Associated with trustworthiness and approachability, enabling rapport and collaboration.

Vanessa underscores the necessity of combining these traits to avoid perceptions of being either suspiciously competent or overly agreeable.

Vanessa Van Edwards [09:04]: "We're trying to communicate the fact that you are bringing something to the table and that we can rely on you."

4. Overcoming Awkwardness: Strategies and Techniques

Vanessa shares her personal journey of overcoming social awkwardness by systematically studying and practicing body language and conversational skills. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity in nonverbal cues, advising against forced or insincere gestures.

Vanessa Van Edwards [21:56]: "I skew quite high on the gestures... There's always too much of a good thing."

Key strategies discussed include:

• Purposeful Gestures: Using hand movements to reinforce verbal messages.
• Controlled Nodding: Balancing affirmation gestures to avoid appearing overly agreeable.
• Eye Contact: Maintaining 60-70% eye contact to convey engagement without seeming invasive.

5. Practical Applications in Professional Settings

The conversation transitions to applying body language principles in professional scenarios like job interviews and salary negotiations. Vanessa provides actionable advice on how to project competence while maintaining warmth.

• First Impressions: Start with warmth by expressing genuine happiness and using open-handed gestures.
• Transitioning to Competence: Shift focus to problem-solving capabilities and articulate how one can add value.
• Negotiation Tactics: Present oneself as a problem solver rather than a supplicant to foster mutual respect and maximize negotiation outcomes.

Vanessa Van Edwards [49:41]: "When you are speaking to your boss, you want to have two narratives going in... problem solver."

6. Nonverbal Bridges and Personal Space

Understanding proxemics—the study of personal space—is crucial for effective communication. Vanessa explains the different zones of personal space and introduces the concept of "nonverbal bridges," subtle movements that gradually decrease distance to foster intimacy without overstepping social boundaries.

Vanessa Van Edwards [77:11]: "Nonverbal bridges can help warm someone up to that touch."

She warns against "close talkers" who invade personal space, leading to discomfort and the dreaded "ick factor," which destroys attraction and rapport.

7. The Interplay of Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

The discussion highlights the synergy between verbal clarity and nonverbal precision. Vanessa advises using concise language paired with purposeful gestures to enhance perceived competence.

Vanessa Van Edwards [61:07]: "Clarity is the indication of the competence... you know, the precision of movement."

She also touches on the nuanced role of filler words like "um" and "ah," suggesting that while they might not detract from competence, they can contribute to a perception of warmth and humanity.

8. Closing Remarks: Embracing Authentic Communication

In her closing thoughts, Vanessa encourages individuals who feel underestimated or overlooked to harness body language strategies to authentically convey their value. She reiterates that mastering nonverbal communication is not about deception but about effective self-expression.

Vanessa Van Edwards [92:00]: "If you feel underestimated or overlooked, that is real and you are not alone."

Jordan Peterson concludes by emphasizing the necessity of both bringing value and effectively communicating it to avoid being sidelined in professional and personal arenas.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Vanessa Van Edwards [00:23]: "Soft skills can be learned even if they don't come naturally to you."

• Vanessa Van Edwards [02:24]: "There's this trifecta of, I would say, awkwardness that can happen in a first impression and they all are related to each other."

• Vanessa Van Edwards [09:04]: "We're trying to communicate the fact that you are bringing something to the table and that we can rely on you."

• Vanessa Van Edwards [21:56]: "I skew quite high on the gestures... There's always too much of a good thing."

• Vanessa Van Edwards [49:41]: "When you are speaking to your boss, you want to have two narratives going in... problem solver."

• Vanessa Van Edwards [61:07]: "Clarity is the indication of the competence... you know, the precision of movement."

• Vanessa Van Edwards [92:00]: "If you feel underestimated or overlooked, that is real and you are not alone."

Conclusion

This episode offers a comprehensive exploration of the subtle yet powerful dynamics of body language. Vanessa Van Edwards provides both theoretical insights and practical tools to help individuals enhance their nonverbal communication, thereby improving their interpersonal relationships and professional trajectories. Through understanding and mastering the hidden power of body language, listeners are equipped to present themselves more authentically and effectively in any social or professional setting.

Recommended Resources:

• Books by Vanessa Van Edwards:
  • Captivate (2017): Focuses on first impressions and building lasting relationships.
  • Cues (2022): Explores 97 different nonverbal cues and their impact.
  • Conversation (Upcoming): Delving deeper into effective conversational strategies.

For more insights and strategies on body language and effective communication, listeners are encouraged to explore Vanessa Van Edwards' work and apply the discussed principles in their daily interactions.