Live Coaching with Morgan: Is Rachael Doing Too Much Too Soon?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Live Coaching with Morgan: Is Rachael Doing Too Much Too Soon?

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Journey with Morgan DeBaun
• Host: Morgan DeBaun, Founder & CEO of Blavity Inc.
• Episode Title: Live Coaching with Morgan: Is Rachael Doing Too Much Too Soon?
• Release Date: April 22, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of The Journey with Morgan DeBaun, host Morgan DeBaun welcomes Rachel, a recent college graduate, newly engaged, and aspiring entrepreneur. Rachel is juggling multiple significant life transitions, including completing her master's degree, planning her wedding, advancing her career as an accountant, and launching a new business. Morgan and Rachel engage in a deep, live coaching session to explore how Rachel can effectively manage her time and priorities to achieve her goals without feeling overwhelmed.

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Background: Rachel’s Current Life Phase

Rachel shares her current life situation:

• Education & Career: Recently completed her undergraduate degree and is working as an accountant.
• Engagement & Wedding Planning: Engaged for over a year, planning a destination wedding in Puerto Rico with cultural complexities from her Nigerian background.
• Entrepreneurial Aspirations: Launching her own business focused on financial planning to help others, inspired by her college experience and passion for teaching.

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Key Discussions

1. Navigating Multiple Life Transitions

Morgan begins by acknowledging Rachel’s ambitious pursuit of various goals simultaneously. The conversation centers on how to balance these transitions by recognizing that life is composed of different seasons, each requiring distinct focus and energy.

Notable Quote:

Morgan (02:46): "Life is seasons. Right. Like, there's going to be seasons where you're working really hard, focused on your career, you're focused on school, and then you need a break."

2. Defining Priorities and Theming Weeks

Morgan introduces the concept of "theming your week," encouraging Rachel to identify her top priorities and allocate specific times for each. Rachel identifies her wedding as her number one priority, followed by her business and career advancement.

Notable Quotes:

Rachel (04:09): "My number one would be getting through the wedding because that's the most important for me."
Morgan (14:05): "Success could be being a really good wife, which doesn't mean you have to work at Deloitte. You don't care."

3. Cultural and Familial Pressures

Rachel discusses the cultural expectations from her Nigerian family, where excellence is paramount, and mediocrity is perceived as failure. This pressure contributes to her feeling that she must excel in every aspect of her life simultaneously.

Notable Quotes:

Rachel (23:06): "I just feel like I have to do it. It's a Nigerian thing...you just have to excel and if you're doing nothing, you're not excelling."
Morgan (35:11): "You're already incredible...you're already in the top, like, 5% of black people in this country."

4. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism

Rachel admits to struggling with imposter syndrome and a relentless drive for perfection, which often leads to burnout. Morgan advises her to redefine success on her own terms, focusing on what truly matters to her rather than external validations.

Notable Quotes:

Rachel (24:12): "I'm really like a little bit of an overachiever...I just don't think that like I would get to where I need to get to if I just, like, take a pause."
Morgan (35:02): "You need to rewrite all of your rules. Redefine what success means for you and focus on that."

5. Practical Strategies for Time Management

Morgan provides practical advice on organizing Rachel's weekly schedule to minimize context switching and enhance productivity. She emphasizes the importance of setting aside dedicated blocks of time for specific tasks, such as wedding planning and business development, to maintain focus and reduce stress.

Notable Quotes:

Morgan (14:17): "Take what your goals are and theme your weeks and your days around those priorities."
Morgan (20:07): "You lose a lot of cognitive ability when you're context switching constantly."

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Insights and Advice

1. Embrace Life’s Seasons: Understanding that different phases of life require different focuses can help alleviate the pressure of managing everything at once. Prioritize based on what is most important in the current season.

2. Redefine Success: Success should be personally meaningful rather than dictated by societal or familial expectations. For Rachel, being a good wife and making a positive impact through her business are her true measures of success.

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Acknowledging that it’s impossible to please everyone and that taking care of oneself is paramount. Rachel is encouraged to seek additional support, including professional therapy, to address internal pressures.

4. Structured Time Management: Implementing themed weeks and dedicated time blocks for specific tasks can improve focus and productivity. This approach helps in managing multiple responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed.

5. Focus on Personal Growth: Incorporating activities that bring personal joy and relaxation is essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Morgan challenges Rachel to engage in activities that are uniquely fulfilling to her.

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with Morgan encouraging Rachel to challenge her habits and embrace a more balanced approach to her ambitious goals. By redefining her priorities, seeking support, and organizing her time effectively, Rachel is poised to navigate her current life transitions successfully. Morgan reinforces the importance of living authentically and focusing on what truly matters, setting Rachel on a path towards a fulfilling and balanced life journey.

Notable Quote:

Morgan (41:56): "Find more time for what does Rachel want today... it's about rewiring your brain to let go of external expectations and focus on what truly matters."

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Final Thoughts:

This episode offers valuable insights into managing multiple life transitions by prioritizing personal values, embracing structured time management, and overcoming cultural and internal pressures. Rachel’s journey serves as an empowering example for listeners striving to balance ambition with well-being.

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Listen to the full episode on [Podcast Platform] to gain more insights and learn how to navigate your own journey with purpose and balance.

Transcript

[Morgan Debon]

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Journey podcast. I'm your host, Morgan. We're doing another episode of Rewrite youe Rules. Today we are talking to Rachel. Rachel is a recent college grad and newly engaged. She has big dreams for herself and we're going to talk a little bit about how she can theme her week so she has more time for herself while she's managing, getting her master's degree, planning her wedding, and just enjoying life a little bit more. She's such a high achiever, and I'm really excited for us to get into it today. Make sure you tune into this episode, make sure you leave a review, and make sure you buy my book Rewrite youe Rules. Hey, everyone. I'm Morgan debon, a passionate entrepreneur and life advisor. With the Journey podcast, you'll discover that success isn't about the destination, it's about the journey. I'm sharing stories of amazing people who've taken control of their lives. Join me on my own journey to discover the secret sauce behind reaching success. With permission from no one else. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Journey. We are in our Rewrite the Rules edition, and I am so excited because I have Rachel here today.

[Rachel]

Hi.

[Morgan Debon]

Welcome to the show. Rachel, how you doing today?

[Rachel]

I'm great. How are you?

[Morgan Debon]

I'm feeling great. So what made you decide to come on the show today? What do you want to talk about?

[Rachel]

I want to talk about just how you navigate having a business, how you navigate new transition in your life, like marriage and just a new phase in your life, coming out of college and then also trying to advance and excel in your career. How do you find time to manage everything and just do it all at the time so you can get everything you want and leave nothing behind?

[Morgan Debon]

Amen, sister. Yeah, that's what life is about. Getting everything you want and leaving nothing behind. I like that. So, well, tell me about where you are right now.

[Rachel]

So right now, I just finished my undergrad. I finished last year, so I'm currently working in a role as an accountant. But I'm also in the phase where I'm trying to launch and start up my business. And by the grace of God, I'm also engaged. So I'm also planning a wedding.

[Morgan Debon]

Wedding.

[Rachel]

But I'm also planning a wedding. So I just feel like oftentimes, like, when I get up in the morning, I get confused on what to put my mind on first. Is it work? Is it planning the wedding? Is it making sure that I'm getting all the credits that I need for my cpa? Like what? Like, how do you find time to center one thing, focus on something, give it the attention that it needs, and then move on to the next without feeling guilty that you're not focusing on the other?

[Morgan Debon]

Yeah. It's the question of life, Right. How do you pace your life? There's a chapter in the book literally, called how to pace your life, because life is seasons. Right. Like, there's going to be seasons where you're, like, working really hard, and you're focused on your career, you're focused on school, and then you need a break.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And you might be focusing on dating. Be in a season of being a wife, being a potential mother. Right. And that's a different season. Those are. Different things are required of you. Different people are required around you.

[Rachel]

Different.

[Morgan Debon]

You know, and then you come out of that, and then there's a new season. Right. Or people who are in transitions between career and school. That's a big transition. So first thing is to just acknowledge that everything is a season and nothing has to be forever, and everything doesn't have to be done at the same time. You can pace your life. You can literally decide, hey, for this next six months, like, this is my primary focus, and I'm making all of my decisions around this center. And you then say everything that sits in this circle. These are my pillars. We have six pillars in the book. These three pillars are my pillars that I'm focused on right now. These other pillars exist or matter, like wellness or hobbies, passions. They exist, but they're not my primary focus. So I'm not gonna sweat it. I'm not gonna sweat it if I don't have time to go to Pilates. Like, happy to go, but, like, oh, my God, if I didn't make it, it's okay, right?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

But you are gonna sweat the wedding.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Right. You are gonna sweat this transition into being a wife that is important to you. So first is to define those three things, and then you start to make decisions from there. So let's start with defining your three things.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

What do you think they are?

[Rachel]

I think my number one would be getting through the wedding because, like, that's the most important for me. My biggest accomplishment, like, that I want is to be a good wife. And I remember when people would ask me, like, what do you ultimately. Like, what do you want to do? And I'd be like, I just want to be a good wife. And then I think my second thing would be also, like, making sure my business is set up and knowing exactly what I want for the future in it. Because this is just something I started in college, and God just blessed me with it. And then I think the next thing would be, like, maybe advancing in my career, because I don't see it for the long term. My end goal is education, and that's where I want to be. I want to be either a teacher or some type of something in education. So I think I know that I want the career, but I just know that it's like an end go thing, not necessarily a noun thing. And that wedding is, like, definitely a noun thing. And you have to get through that before you move to the next step, which is, like, business. Because when you're married, I feel like you have a little bit more structure instead of just kind of having everything going on in your head and trying to please everybody, like your parents. But definitely, like, that marriage is, like, the number one thing that I would say is, like, we need to get this, like, done, like, today.

[Morgan Debon]

Why do you feel the need to rush through this phase of engagement?

[Rachel]

I wouldn't say necessarily rush through it, because we've been engaged for a little bit over a year now.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay.

[Rachel]

And it's just been a long process. Like, I'm Nigerian, and there's, like, seven steps to getting married. And you do this, and then you do this, and it's like, one thing and then the other thing, and it's like, okay, at some point, it just gets a little bit, like, scary. So, like, for people who don't have that cultural, like, background with it, like, you know, weddings are more of, like, a. Okay, we can plan this in six months and get it, like, you know, moving. But it's so many steps to it. And I think, like, in the midst of it, I got caught up in, like, trying to please everybody else and not really worrying about what actually will make me happy when it comes to this moment. And what do I see this wedding being like? Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

How many steps away are you?

[Rachel]

I would say we're about four months away. Cause it's in May.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay.

[Rachel]

So I think that's why it's, like, now it's just like, yeah, let's get this.

[Morgan Debon]

What's left do you have to do?

[Rachel]

I think right now we're just in the process of making sure that, like, we get all our vendors. And that's just been, like, a tedious thing. And it's shown me a lot about business, actually, because you're doing a lot of negotiations. You're sourcing different people. You're looking through, like, is this the right fit Even before I hired my wedding planner, we had like.

[Morgan Debon]

You have a wedding planner?

[Rachel]

Yes, I did.

[Morgan Debon]

Are we still stressed?

[Rachel]

I know it's a destination wedding.

[Morgan Debon]

Where are you getting married?

[Rachel]

Puerto Rico.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

So. Okay.

[Rachel]

All right.

[Morgan Debon]

I like it. I like it.

[Rachel]

The stress, I think, comes necessarily from family. I would say just everybody, like, weddings are such a time of like, it's a lot and everybody wants something from it. Yeah. And you ultimately do want to make your parents proud. So. Especially for me, it's like the first in my family. For my fiance, it's a little bit different. Cause he's had sisters that have been married. So for them, it's their third go around, so they're calm. But for my family, it's just I'm my mom's only child and I'm my dad's first daughter. So it's just. It's a lot of firsts for them. And they're calling people, trying to see what's happening, and they're like, what, Rachel's getting married. How is this happening? So I think it's just a process and I know that it's going to make everybody ultimately happy. So I've been thinking of everybody's happiness in this whole process. And I think it stresses me out sometimes because I feel like maybe people aren't going to be happy with this decision. Like, I'm having a destination wedding and I'm African.

[Morgan Debon]

That's like also a non African country. Yeah.

[Rachel]

It's like everybody's wondering, are you Puerto Rican? No, I'm not Puerto Rican. But it's still ultimately what I wanted. I wanted something intimate and I wanted something led by God and I wanted him at the center of it. So sometimes it's hard to please God and man at the same time. And honoring your parents isn't the same as pleasing your parents.

[Morgan Debon]

So it sounds like you've already done the self work and the self talk to know that you might be putting a lot of pressure on yourself trying to please everyone around you. And you've already accepted that that is impossible, that everyone will not be happy and the only people that matter are.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Really? That's the only person that matters. Right. So I guess how have you put more opportunities in your life or in your weekly or even daily routine to remind yourself of the only person that matters?

[Rachel]

Yeah. So with that, I spend time with God, like every day, or at least I try to make sure that I do. There are times that things get, like, overwhelming and you may miss it, but, like, you just have to like, make up the next day. But I think, like, the first thing I do is just, like, get in my quiet time. Like, even before I came, like, this morning, I was like, okay, it's a lot going on. And, like, my wedding planner is like, yeah, so we need this and this and this. And I'm like, okay, we're.

[Morgan Debon]

Right away.

[Rachel]

Yeah. So I'm just gonna take a moment and be in God's presence right now and let him guide me. Let him be at the center of this and everything that I'm doing. Because, like, when every single year, like, I plan my year and I have, like, a verse of the year, and my verse of the year this year is Matthew 6:33. Seek first the kingdom. I just always have to remind myself that even in the midst of everything and things happening, I have to seek him first. I have to be with him first. I have to listen to what he's telling me, because I can go and do something that may not be necessarily what he's telling me. And even with a job right now, it's such a busy season for accounting, and it's like, work deadlines are just piling up as it comes. And, like, there was a time that I was like, what is this? But I was like, you know what, God? I'm doing this for you. And, like, I had a meeting with my manager, and then, like, I just see the Bible verse that he was, like, telling me, and it's, like, on her wall, and I'm like, wait, wow. Wow, that's. That's amazing.

[Morgan Debon]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

And she probably doesn't even know. Like, I was just looking at that. So it's just, like, making sure he's the center keeps me grounded because, like, I do try to please so many people.

[Morgan Debon]

What makes all the decisions easy?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

When you are really clear about what your center is, that it makes everything else not as relevant. So for me, when I was transitioning into motherhood and going from, you know, boss, CEO on a plane every week, I would travel literally two cities a week. Like, that was. That was it. Especially once Josh and I were good and I was like, cool, I got my man. Like, I'm good. I can get out of my dating season because that is a lot of work. Good. I can go back to being a boss. Then when I transitioned to motherhood, my son was my center.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

So it was what is the best for him and if it's not the best for him and it's going to make him unstable for the week or he's going to need something and I'm not available. What is the best for him that made every other decision easy. Can I get to the city and back same day? Can I get to the city and spend one night there, but be back by the time he wakes up in the morning? Cool, I'll do it. Is it going to require me to be away for a prolonged period of time? Am I going to be able to breastfeed? Am I going to be able to get the milk back in time? Am I going to be able to do all these things? The answer is no, I'm not going. So when you center whatever or whoever is the most important to you in your decision making, it allows for everything else to become more clear. And then what happens is you have to just create more and more time and reminders to reground you when you get distracted. So let's talk about how your week is set up. Walk me through like a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

[Rachel]

Okay. So every week is just like, I kind of like take it as it comes. I'm coming out of college, so it's like that's like just a phase of life. Like you kind of do take things as they come. So I'm trying to like get myself out of that. I'm trying to get like a structure going. Like, I know that like on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, I'm working. So it's like I work from home, which is like the biggest blessing ever. And I was gonna like ask you about that.

[Morgan Debon]

Yeah, let's talk about it with like.

[Rachel]

Your son and everything. Like, I know you say that like whatever you do is like centered around him. And that's like a phase that like I'm planning on entering soon. So there's also going to be that added factor of children and like planning around them. Do you ever feel guilty, like, if you can't take an opportunity because of your son?

[Morgan Debon]

No, because he's my center.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

So it's easy. No guilt. What I feel guilty about is when I feel like, okay, I've slowed down or I slowed down in that season. And then I feel like other people sped up. So I have a habit of comparing myself to others at time. Like, my business is better than theirs, why are they doing. You know?

[Rachel]

And I think, yeah, like that's.

[Morgan Debon]

It's jealousy. Yeah, that's my weakness. But that has nothing to do with the center. Right. So just being clear about it allows you to just work through that emotion and that feeling. Because I would never trade being on a awards list for quality time with My son in his first year of life. It's like a no brainer.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Morgan Debon]

So when the center is right, it's a no brainer. You just gotta work through it's not to say that you're not gonna feel like, oh, maybe I should be doing more, maybe I should be getting through my CPA credits faster or maybe I should be doing all this stuff. None of it matters when you have a clear why.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Right. And I think working from home is actually a huge privilege because you have a lot of control over your time. You're not losing a lot of time commuting. And in the book, we actually talk about this. How to theme your weeks.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

So. And how to theme your days. So basically you take what your goals are. So for you, you have a few priorities.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

You have a wedding.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And that is something that is not going away until May.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

So we have some things that just have to get done. Okay. And then you have yourself.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Your personal development. You want to be a good wife, you got to take care of yourself. Right. So you need to make time for yourself. Then you have your. As a couple. Time for one another. Quality time. And then you have your career.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And you have your business. So we take all those priorities and then we look at the week and say, okay, well, what is what has to happen?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Well, I have to work seven hours a day on my job. Okay. And because you're remote, you actually have a lot of privilege of doing things like pre scheduling emails. Pre scheduling. Slack messages. Use slack or teams.

[Rachel]

We use teams.

[Morgan Debon]

Yeah. So pre schedule your teams messages. Yeah. You guys are accountants.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Security check. Right. So you actually could probably work less hours during the day and pre schedule things in the morning or at night so you have a little bit more flexibility. But if you look at a normal day, what time you wake up?

[Rachel]

I wake up at around 6, sometimes 5, sometimes 8, depending on the day.

[Morgan Debon]

Eight is a wide range.

[Rachel]

I mean, on Saturdays, like if I have nothing going on on Saturdays, I'm going to sleep until 8 because I've been up at 6, 5, like every. Every other day.

[Morgan Debon]

What time are you going to bed?

[Rachel]

I'm going to bed. That ranges like that could be like 11 to.

[Morgan Debon]

Oh, it's late.

[Rachel]

Yeah, it's late.

[Morgan Debon]

Why so late?

[Rachel]

What are you doing most of the time? I'm just like planning and just like making sure, like wedding stuff is together and like business stuff is together because I'm still in like that infant stage where I'm still planning and trying to like, create the vision of like, what I envision this brand to be and like, how we're going to get there. Like just the other night I was just like buying up all the Dom that have to do, like, with my business. Because I think I listened to a podcast and I don't know if it was you. I think it was you and Fawn Weaver just owning everything that has to do with your business. Like, she was talking about, she owns the distillery, she owns the land. I was like, I was like, okay, I'm gonna buy up every single thing that has to do with this. So I'm trying to like, look into like the trademarks of like that. So before we like, are out there and in the public, like, I want to make sure that I own everything that has to do with, with this because I think it would help moving forward. And then like also making sure that like everything that like I'm also spending is also accounted for. Because I also listen to you and even if it's not like an actual business account, you mentioned just like having an account, even if it's your personal account, just making sure that it's just. No. For the business. Yeah. So that's something that I definitely took. And I'm, I'm trying to like, make sure I get everything in order before I'm like, in the heat of things.

[Morgan Debon]

We're talking about that in a second. Let's go back to theming your weeks, but let's put that on the back burner.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay. So there's a couple ways that people can plan their week or their day. So you could plan your week based off of the flow of what needs to happen. So for you, because the wedding is important on Monday, Tuesday, I might have a four hour block that is from four to eight. And I say, bae, we not having dinner together. I'm working through it. Okay. And I'm getting the wedding stuff done. I'm sending out the emails, I'm sending out whatever needs to get done for the week so that other people, the vendors, the wedding planners, everybody else has what they need to be able to work through the rest of the week. And they're not waiting on me, they're not pinging me on Wednesday, Thursday, asking for approvals or asking me for things because I gave everything on Monday. So then Tuesday, no wedding. Yeah, it's done. You don't need to do anything for your wedding. Wednesday, you don't need to do anything for the wedding. Thursday, I might have another 30 minute or 45 minute block that's like wedding focused so that I can get through anything that's come up Tuesday, Wednesday and answer any questions or things that have come back up, if you don't already. Do you have an email address for your wedding or.

[Rachel]

Yes, we do.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay, good. No, that's great. A lot of people don't do that. And so they're. They're getting text messages or like they're getting all types of inputs from so many different places. But if you have an inbox or an email address set up for your wedding, then you can have a folder system. Right. Where everything is over here. So, you know, you can go up in there. You already have it.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

People watching are listening in. They are like, oh, my God. Right. Like, so that you don't have to be constantly reactive to things coming in and everything is organized. Okay. So that you make time on Thursday to be able to do that.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Morgan Debon]

And then weddings are also fun. So, like, you might be like, I want to just spend time on Pinterest. Or like, I just want to dig around on TikTok. That's fun. Fun.

[Rachel]

Yeah. And it gets a little too fun that you find yourself doing it for two hours and.

[Morgan Debon]

Right. We gotta stop doing them because that's wasting your time and that is adding to the stress because it's like mental load that you're carrying. You've done it. You've been engaged for over a year. Let TikTok and Pinterest go. It's done. Okay. Unless you just must. But then you just need to know that's like time that could be spent on hobbies or personal development and things like that. But you shouldn't stay up till 11 o'clock because you're scrolling on TikTok. It really needs to be meaningful if you're gonna stay up that late. Because your health is gonna be a big driver on if you can wake up in the morning and feel refreshed in order to be able to get things done.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Right. So then on Tuesday and Wednesday, then your second and third priorities take that deep work hour. Yeah. That deep work framework of time. So that could be stuff for yourself. That could be stuff for your credits. That could be whatever second pillar that is. What I see most people do is they context switch all the time. So they're doing an hour over here, then they're doing an hour over here. They're doing an hour over here.

[Rachel]

And most people.

[Morgan Debon]

Yeah, I think you might be most people, Rachel. And that's okay. We're going to stop doing that because you lose a lot of cognitive ability when you're context switching constantly. And you also lose that moment of being able to be in flow with whatever it is that you're doing to actually finish the task or finish the project that you were setting out to do. Do you feel like you can do this?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

What are things that might distract you?

[Rachel]

I think the most things that distract me, I wouldn't say nothing really distracts me. It's just my head.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay.

[Rachel]

I think, like, most of it is in my head and not thinking and thinking that, like, you know, like, what's the point of, like, just trying? Because, like, I feel like it's like, like success is, like, really, really hard to get to. So you get caught up in the, like, what if this and what if that? Or just, like, being in lot, like. Cause I don't have social media. I think the most social media I do is LinkedIn and I have Pinterest. But I try not to be on it as much. If I need to go on Instagram for something for the wedding, I get on it and then I delete it right away and delete the app. That's good.

[Morgan Debon]

That's great discipline.

[Rachel]

That's my word of the year. But I try to be as disciplined with social media as much as possible. So most of my setback really comes from being in my own head and, like you said, comparing yourselves to, like, other people who are, like, you know, achieving such great things. Like, I have friends who are in their master's programs right now, and, like, I know that's something I have to do next year. And to me, like, sometimes I get, like, you know, like, you could be doing this and stuff like that, and.

[Morgan Debon]

Like, do you have to do it next year? You have a lot of things that it feels like you feel like you have to do.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Where's that coming from?

[Rachel]

I think it would come from, like, just being me and just feeling like you just have to do everything and it just has to be done because, like, if you don't do it, like, who else would do it, basically? And, like, I know that I'm going to be a cpa, so it's like, I have to take the classes at some point. So, like, right now I've spaced out, like, my prerequisites for the master's program. So, like, I know I will be done, like, with the timeline in my head, I know I'll be done, like, by the end of this year, and I'll be able to apply for the program and start next year. And It's a nine month, like accelerated, just.

[Morgan Debon]

Of course it's accelerated.

[Rachel]

Rachel.

[Morgan Debon]

Come on, sis.

[Rachel]

So it's like I have to. I feel like I have to do that because it's. I just don't. Cause it's like if I don't do.

[Morgan Debon]

It, like, what do you want to do? Like, what if money was of no object? If you were like so rich? You know, we've got a Nigerian prince back here. Oil money. What are we talking about? I don't know, I'm making it up. But like, what if we're five?

[Rachel]

Uh huh.

[Morgan Debon]

What if you're super fertile, the babies are gonna come, you don't have to stress about it. It'll just happen when it's supposed to happen naturally.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

What if you're okay? What would you do? Would you still do all these things?

[Rachel]

Probably.

[Morgan Debon]

Why?

[Rachel]

I don't know. Like, I just feel like I have to do it. It's a. I think it's a Nigerian thing. Like in African households you grow up with like, the idea that you have to excel. Like you not excelling is failure. Even if you're just like mediocre or just like regular, it's still failure because it's like, it's not excelling. And then like I went to, and like in school I went to an hbcu, so it's like black excellence is like just every. Everywhere. And it's like I've just been brought up in the place. Like you just have to excel and if you're doing nothing, you're not excelling.

[Morgan Debon]

Doing nothing.

[Rachel]

Yeah, it seems like I'm doing a lot, but I feel like I'm not doing enough.

[Morgan Debon]

Compared to who?

[Rachel]

Compared to the person in my brain that I think I'm supposed to be and where I think I'm supposed to be at. I would say.

[Morgan Debon]

What are you noticing as you're saying these things out loud?

[Rachel]

I'm really like a little bit of an overachiever. So it's something I'm like working towards and understanding that you just have to take one step at a time. And one of my professors, she's so amazing. I'm so close with her and she's really just been like, Rachel, you are just always an energizer bunny. You are just always moving and always doing something and always like, when are you just like woosa. And I'm like, I don't. I feel like if I'm just resting and not doing anything, which I know it's necessary, I just don't think that like I would get to where I need to get to if I just, like, take a pause.

[Morgan Debon]

When you have kids, are you going to spend time with them?

[Rachel]

Yes. And I think maybe that's why I feel like I have to do all these things now, because I know that when they do come, it's not ultimately going to be about me anymore. And I think, like, one of my biggest, like, things is regretting, like, life and, like, not feeling like you've accomplished, like, all your goals and all the things that you want to accomplish. And let's talk about that. Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

When you're 80 years old, do you think you're going to look back and say, man, I should have taken that accelerator program? Do you think that's really what you're going to say? Should have pushed it three more months, should have rushed the engagement?

[Rachel]

No.

[Morgan Debon]

No. What are you gonna look back at even 20 years from now and come back and be like, man, what a beautiful life that I've had? What would that look like for you?

[Rachel]

I think that would look like an amazing marriage. Like, I have an amazing relationship, like, already. So I just know that, like, in it transcending into marriage is going to, like, even be greater and, like, such a greater bond. So I know that's going to be something that, like. And I think that's why I say, like, that's my number one, because, like, ultimately having, like, a good person that's, like, also God fearing and like, just wants to walk in the path that you want to walk on is great. And then also, like, creating a great thing for other people to, like, get knowledge from. My first love was teaching. I always loved all my teachers. I was always a teacher's friend. So my first love was teaching. And I knew, like, I wanted to be a teacher. I just knew that, like, a teacher teacher doesn't make, like, that much money. And I'm still like, about the money just a little bit. That's fine.

[Morgan Debon]

You're talking to me, so you know I'm already with it. So.

[Rachel]

So I was like, how do I find a way to teach and still, like, impact people, but still kind of like, make money from it? And I think that's when God gave me the idea for my business. And I was doing it in college and I saw how much people got from it because I was an RA and I would have the events and I would just talk about, like, finance and making sure that you're getting things together for college. And I went to an HBCU and I came out, like, without so much Debt.

[Morgan Debon]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

And that's not, like, the same for a lot of people. And it was, like, year after year, having internships, making sure I'm, like, applying for scholarships, doing everything that I needed to do. Like, my parents didn't pay for college at all. Like, that was all me. I handled it by myself. And it was a process. And, like, people always would, like, ask me, like, how did you do this? And, like, it was something that I felt passionate and led to, like, talk to people about, like, planning your finances and being better with your finances, because especially, like, for immigrants and just, like, black people in general, like, finances are not like a conversation that we have in our household, and it's not a conversation I had in my household. So I know that, like, when I look back 20 years from now, helping people, especially women, be better with their finances is something that I definitely want to do. And, like, changing people's lives would be, like, the ultimate thing. And I just feel like sometimes for me to get there, I have to do the accelerated program.

[Morgan Debon]

Yeah. Yeah. What you're telling me is different now from what we were talking about 15 minutes ago. Your pillars are your relationships, your relationship with God, your relationship with your future husband. That's your number one. Then your number two is your passion. It's helping other people. It's impact, how you help other people and how you give impact. You're getting the tools, you're getting the credentials, you're building the business so you can help people. But when you reframe it, that your second center is actually impact, then all the other decisions become a little bit easier. Because if you're chasing, there's always going to be another credential. There's always going to be another milestone. There's always going to be another external validation that like our families, our parents, the world says that you need to have to be successful. That will never end. Like, ever. Right. At every step of the world, at every step of your life, momhood, everything there is some sort of success. When you're a mom, it's how long have you been breastfeeding for? How quickly are you going back to work? Are they sleeping through the night? It's all these questions that they're going to ask you when it, like, it just keeps going. Once you had a baby, are you going to have another one? Never ends. So you have to start practicing for yourself how you let quiet that noise of all these expectations and rules from society and really focus on what's the most important to you now instead of living and doing some Things for future gratification. You can have it now. And that's why you have your business, actually, because you didn't want to wait. Like, a lot of people wouldn't have started a business while in school.

[Rachel]

Rachel, sometimes I just think about that.

[Morgan Debon]

A lot of people would do that, you know, but you did it partially because you wanted to help people. So let's talk about the business. How are you finding time for that now?

[Rachel]

Well, right now I just find time where I find time. Like, after work, I usually just get on my laptop and I start working on it. I carve out days on Saturdays for sure for it. So, like, Saturdays, like, me and my fiance will go to the library, we'll open up the laptop.

[Morgan Debon]

I'll get to it.

[Rachel]

Let's try to, like, get this mapped out and, like, create what we need to create and do what we need to do. So, like, that is, like, being worked on, like, most of the time, I would say, for this year. Last year, coming out, like, it was, like, really all over the place because, like, I wanted to plan it. But then, like, things happened, life happened, and then, like, I had the imposter syndrome and feeling like, maybe I'm not cut out. Maybe I'm not the one that's supposed to do this business. Maybe somebody else needs to do it. And, you know, just had that feeling of intentional, like, fear and just not believing in myself enough. But, you know, like, getting more confirmation from God has definitely helped me. Like, no, he gave you the idea and you're going to execute it. And I think what has helped me plan is just finding little times. Like, if I want to find myself doing something else. No, I could be spending time doing this or spending time working on this. Even if it's like, I have, like, a podcast. Listen, I'm listening to a podcast while I'm doing it. So I make it fun as well.

[Morgan Debon]

What is the work that has to get done?

[Rachel]

So, like, right now, we're trying to create our website. When I first started, I had, like, a partner, and that was, like, a whole process. And it was supposed to be like, you. You know. Cause I had, like, a vision and you want it so perfect, like, the first time. And, like, we just went through, like, this process of, like, trying to code the whole website from scratch. I do not have a tech background. I don't know why I ever thought that was a thing. So, like, we went through that. So right now we're working on, like, a regular website that I can actually. Yes, I can actually use. I can Function. And, like, my fiance's been, like, a really big help because he's. He has a tech background, so, like, he kind of, like, knows what to do in regards to that. And, like, also, like, planning, like, the brand vision and like, all of those things.

[Morgan Debon]

A lot of planning.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Where are we making money?

[Rachel]

That's a process, and I know that, like, it's not going to start exactly right now. And just trying to figure out, like, what services am I offering? Exactly. Especially without the credentials. Like, you don't have the CPA yet, so can you offer that? Like, that planning that you essentially want to do? And like, where can you. Where can you put yourself right now where you can start making money from this? And it's something that, like, I've been, like, trying to, like, wrap my head around, like, what services can we offer? So, like, right now I'm creating, like, a whole bunch of resources that I can put on the website so that, like, you know, even if some are free, some will be paid for. So just having that caveat of, like, I may not have the credentials right now, but let me create something that could bring in some type of income to help this grow while I still work on getting the credentials that I need to make it what I essentially envision it to be. Because you have to start from somewhere. And that's what I'm just telling myself. Like, just start from somewhere. Even if you're selling like, like ebooks for like, $5 or creating, like. Yeah. Creating templates that people like, it's still something. So that's where I've, like, I'm at right now. Just creating those. Like, just putting myself out.

[Morgan Debon]

I feel like you're spending a lot of time buying domain names, building a website from scratch, probably building logos and brand colors and all this stuff. Nobody cares. What's the product?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

What are we selling?

[Rachel]

Financial planning. Right. How to be, like, better with your finances.

[Morgan Debon]

Right. Unfortunately, there's a lot of people on the Internet that give this advice that have no credentials.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay.

[Rachel]

And that was like, so why do.

[Morgan Debon]

You think you need one?

[Rachel]

Because I felt like without the disclosure, of course. Yeah. I hated the people who did it without credentials.

[Morgan Debon]

But you're literally in training.

[Rachel]

I know. And I think it's like, that's just the part of me that just feels like it has to be right. Like, you can't just go on the Internet and just give people financial advice. Like, who's going to listen to you? Get your credentials first, get your things first. But I'm not sure who already listened.

[Morgan Debon]

To you, the people who already ask you for advice. The people you've already been giving advice to.

[Rachel]

Mm.

[Morgan Debon]

You're already doing it.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

So I think you need a therapist. Do you have a therapist?

[Rachel]

God.

[Morgan Debon]

God counts. Can we get another one?

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Morgan Debon]

I think you need to work on this, like, desire for everything to be 100% before you take an action.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And it's coming from your upbringing, it's coming from cultural things, it's coming from all types of places that need to be talked about. But at the end of the day, like, you're already incredible. So this constant need to have everything 100% is going to literally cause you to burn out.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

You've got a long life to live and a long career to have, and you're already incredibly successful and incredibly intelligent. You're already in the top, like, 5% of black people in this country. It may not seem like. May not seem like it, but to be college educated, to be pursuing and eventually getting a master's degree, to be soon to be wed. You're already up here. You're in a major city. Right. Like, you're very successful, but you don't feel like it. And that has to be. That's an internal thing. Yes. God is going to be able to help you with it, but there are other people who can also help you with it. Because at the end of the day, you're going to constantly be living for other people's expectations of what you think you should be doing. And over time, it will burn you out.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And there's no more. There's no more grades. Like, you're almost done with grades forever. Yeah, forever.

[Rachel]

And I think that's very scary for me because it's like, there's no, there's no rating, actual rating that like, you're like, here, look at that and tell me what you think. And I think sometimes I do struggle with, like, making, like, asking people what they think and, like, making sure, like, people like, like it and who cares what they think?

[Morgan Debon]

We don't care anymore. Very soon, it doesn't matter. But this is a normal. What I'm telling you is a normal thing that almost every high achieving, like, college student has to make that transition.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And a lot of people go into big careers and big tech company jobs or consulting jobs or Wall street or work at the big four accounting firms, and they just trade a college title and college classes and professors for their boss.

[Rachel]

And then, you see, that's the thing. And I felt like I didn't do that because, like, coming out of school, like, I was supposed to go to Deloitte. I was supposed to move back to Los Angeles.

[Morgan Debon]

Of course. Yeah.

[Rachel]

And I was like, I don't think that's.

[Morgan Debon]

I didn't even know that, but I'm not surprised to hear that.

[Rachel]

So I was like, I don't think that's where God wants me. And I don't think that that's the life that, like, he planned for me. So I'm just like, okay, just go after what you want. But then still being caught up in, like, going after what you want and just, like, you're so holding on to this.

[Morgan Debon]

Like, this. What you think success looks like for you and what somebody who is like you or who you want to be, what that success means. You have to completely rewrite all of your rules. You have to completely rewrite, like, what does success look like? Success for you could be being a really good wife, which doesn't mean you have to work at Deloitte. You don't care. Right.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Success for you could be really helping 20, 30 incredible women get out of debt.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Like, redefine what success means for you and then focus on that and put that at the center.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And keep it there. And don't worry about what your mom thinks and your dad thinks and all these people think. The only two people that matter. One and two.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And three.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

You know, what do you think?

[Rachel]

I think that's great.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay. I think that's what actions or commitments are you gonna make for your. For yourself.

[Rachel]

I think the number one thing I would commit to definitely just, like, going back and just asking myself why I need to do certain things and what, like, what it ultimately means at the end of it. And, you know, maybe like. Because, like, I've thought of therapy, but the way our culture works.

[Morgan Debon]

I know it's hard.

[Rachel]

It's just not a thing that nobody has to necessarily do it.

[Morgan Debon]

Well, not everybody here who's watching this will know, but they won't be watching this.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Back at home they won't. Yeah. So this is not gonna make its way to London.

[Rachel]

It might, but. Yeah. Just, like, going back and just, like, understanding what it is that I want and then, like, understanding that where I am is also, like, a good place as well.

[Morgan Debon]

Where you already are is already amazing. You're already there. You did it. You did the thing. It's done. I can't take it away from you.

[Rachel]

There's still more to do, but.

[Morgan Debon]

But you're already on the path. Like, you're already there. So you can release the like. Like. Yes. You have to like, finish. We're gonna finish. You worked very hard, but once you're finished, it's done.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And if you are more comfortable, you can do a small group. Right. Bible study. I mean, there's so many different options, there's so many different resources, but really trying to surround yourself with people who are happy with who you are already and help you work through what you want and developing that. Your 20s are a beautiful time in life because you don't have all the responsibilities of kids and all this other stuff. Like when you're 30, 40, those things are gonna come. Those responsibilities are gonna be there. But this is the time, like the only time in your life where you' not stuck in school. You can literally do whatever you want. If you want to wake up at 2pm and you want to go to sleep at 4pm, take a nap in the middle of the day, you can do that. You can't do that when you have kids.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

You just can't.

[Rachel]

You can't.

[Morgan Debon]

So this is it. So I want you to literally do whatever you want. That's actually going to be my challenge for you. It's going to be a 30 day do what I want challenge.

[Rachel]

Just got to figure out what I want exactly is.

[Morgan Debon]

But it could be really simple.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

It could be like, I want to take a walk. I want to listen to music while I get ready today. I want to sing and scream at the top of my lungs. Like that impulsive thought. I want you to give into it more.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

So you just have a little bit more of the daily joy that's like grounding you. Especially as you're going through a very stressful process with the wedding. That is real. So you just need to find a little bit more time for. What does Rachel want today? What does Rachel want today? While you're doing this, I want you to really try to focus on what you want to do. Not with this idealized version of you wants to do.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

It can be. I want to sit in the bathtub for two hours. It could be weird. It doesn't have to be like cutesy. You know, I want to take an aerial dance class. I want to go to trap yoga. I don't know, whatever you want to do. Right. And just find more time to do that. Because part of it is you have to kind of rewire your brain to get out of this like grading system.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

And expectations and perfectly planned all the things before you do the thing that matters most, which is make money if you're a business or help the people if you're a business.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay. Can you do that?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay. What's, like, one thing you're like? Yeah, that's one of the things I'm.

[Rachel]

Gonna do, I think, like, really getting out of the, like, ideal version of me and, like, just tapping into, like, what's really me.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay, well, I look forward to it. I look Forward to you DMing me on Instagram and saying, morgan, I did this today, and it can't be planned the wedding, and it can't be. Took this class for the credits, and it can't be about a domain name.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

It has to be something that is uniquely you.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Morgan Debon]

Okay. All right. And I'll tell you whatever I did that day.

[Rachel]

Thank you.

[Morgan Debon]

You're welcome. Rachel, thanks for joining the show today.

[Rachel]

Thank you for having me.

[Morgan Debon]

All right, my friends, that's it for today's episode. We'll check in with Rachel later. I'm excited for you.

[Rachel]

Thank you. I'm excited for me too.

[Morgan Debon]

You got a long life to live, my friend. You're gonna be just fine.

[Rachel]

Thank you.

[Morgan Debon]

All right, y'all. See you next episode. Thanks for listening to the Journey podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you leave a review and head to our Instagram and YouTube to leave a comment. I look forward to hearing how this podcast has made an impact on your own Journey.