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- [00:00]
A
Chit Chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them, too. Chit Chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week, too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a Chit Chat Wednesday, too. Hello, and welcome to the J Train Podcast. Is J Train Jared Freed coming live from Delray Beach, Florida? That's right, every Wednesday is a Chit Chat Wednesday where I sit with a comedian, a friend, an expert. Today I have all three. Comedian, friend, expert, cartoonist. Give it up for Jim Twos. Thank you for coming on the show.
- [01:01]
B
Thanks for having me, man.
- [01:02]
A
It's great to see you. I, I, we, we were talk, we were chit chatting, as we do on Chitchat Wednesday, about all the stuff you got to do. You know, a half hour before I'm checking sound, I'm making sure that and, and something that you and I. Or me, myself. I, I can only speak for myself because I didn't go to, you know, audio visual school to know how to do the mic and hook it in and all that stuff. And then what. As I'm saying that, I'm like, well, I, how can I speak for you? I didn't know you were a cartoonist when we first met.
- [01:37]
B
No, I, I have, like, a background in, like, art and animation stuff and, and video. And I will say, like, to anybody who struggles with, like, setting up tech stuff for video, I'm someone who's dealt with it, like, my whole adult life and had, like, an interest in it, and it's still confusing, right? So don't feel bad.
- [02:00]
A
It's a moving, It's a, it's a moving target. It's. It changes every day as you started. And, But I, you know, it's funny. We go way back and you learn things about people. Intimate. If you go to open mics, you learn intimate things about people that you would be like, they'd be like, do you know Jim, too? Like, yeah, I know him forever. But I'd be like, I know that he was in the Coast Guard and that he, you know, would live with his dad. Like, I'm like, I know all this stuff. And then I, I'm like, and then I see, like, the cartoons, and I was like, I love them. Every time I see them, I'm like, these are. So when. What was the, the cartoons. How. And, and Jim has a special that we want everyone to go watch. It's called With Pictures. So Jim Combines his expertise as a comedian with his expertise as a, a cartoonist. And it's awesome. I loved watching it. It had such a different dynamic that is, it should be out there. Did you, what made, you know, when did you get into cartooning? And, and is it even, is it even called cartooning?
- [03:05]
B
I would, I would call it cartooning. I, so I was like, when I was a kid, that was like a big interest of mine. I was like a huge Calvin and Hobbes fan.
- [03:15]
A
Okay.
- [03:18]
B
And you know, like the Far side and all the Sunday comic type stuff. And I was way into art. I was pretty shy. So like performing was not really my thing for a long time. I didn't come out of my shells. I was like, probably like 25. But the art thing was always a go to for me. And then when I got super into stand up, I push it to the side or I used it as like, you know, a side hustle doing like graphic design or illustration for flyers and whatever. And most, you know, like during the pandemic was when I really started revisiting that stuff because it's, it's, it's such a, like isolating. Sit down and, and draw or you know, in my case also animation. You're sitting there not talking to anybody, just doing it. And during lockdown we had time to do that. Yeah. So I kind of got back into it and the, the special is a lot of like, it's like half and half, like half visual aids with, you know, regular stand up. But it was one of those things where I was like, I'm, I'm like a 40 something straight white guy. There is, it's been, I've been spoken for. Let me bring something different to the table. And I'm, I've been relying on, you know, ignoring the, the art part of it for so long. Let me bring this in and see what I can do with it. I have nothing to lose. So I just started like taking bits that I liked and then adding visuals to them. And I was lucky enough to find places that were like, you know, ready for the tech. It's just a projector.
- [05:06]
A
Right.
- [05:07]
B
But that, you know, and just started folding that in and, and you know, I write the jokes, work on them without the visuals, and then start bringing the visuals in to see what they add.
- [05:19]
A
You're nailing all the questions I had as I watched the special. Because you're nailing it. Because I, I, I'm watching it. I loved it. Everyone go watch it with pictures and on YouTube, it's going to be linked in the bio, this episode. And I messaged you thinking, because I saw you promoting it and you're like, yeah, it's been out for like 10 months. I'm like, well, I'm a, I should have been in touch.
- [05:40]
B
I, because that's my fault too. I'm bad at like self promo stuff.
- [05:44]
A
It's the worst thing in the world because it's like asking a girl you have a crush on on a date. And, and I go through this myself. It's like, I'd rather have the dream. Like, I, I'm like, should I ask that person? And I'm not saying you dream of this, you know, this nothing podcast. I'm just saying, like, you go, I have to find out right away what this person feels about me in this context. Like, and it's like, right, Like, I don't want to know. And I've done it. And now I look at, you know, when I was, when I had things coming out and I reached out to people. Pretty please. You feel like you're begging. You're like, but people, I'm sitting here, I'm like, I need guests. You know, Know, like, I, I need people to come on here too. But I, I, I hear something. You said you called it a visual aid. So I was wondering, I was like, do you do the jokes first? And then you go back. So you went and you had these jokes and you're like, I would call it a, I hate that you called it a villageual aid. Because I was like, wondering, do you have insecurities about doing the jokes with this PowerPoint, you know? You know, presentation? Because I was like, this is a visual garnish. This makes it better. It's fuller.
- [06:49]
B
That's the, I'm glad you picked up on it because that's the, that was my aim. And it's one of those things where I'm like, I've been doing comedy for so long that I'm like, I'm over that. Like, it's like if someone wants to, you know, criticize me and I don't. Nobody has, like, it's all, it's all in your head.
- [07:08]
A
You know, if they did, I would want to, like, pull them to a, like an alleyway and, and rough them up. Like, I'd be like, you're ruining all creativity if, like, you're saying, this can't be. Like, this was a creative endeavor. I even loved how it was all black and it had a look to it. Like, it was like, it kind of felt like I was like, at one of those Apple presentations where the lights went away and you got. Yeah, it was great.
- [07:32]
B
Yeah, it was just like the other thing, like I said, like, was writing the joke first. And, you know, being a New York comic, like, you don't have. You have, like, 10 minutes at a time everywhere. And there are very few places who I would bother to be like, hey, can I use the screen for my 10 minutes? You know, there's like. It's like Union Hall. Do it. Because somebody else might have a screen. But, like, you know, I'm not going to go to New York Comedy Club or, like, the seller and be like, hey, real quick, let me make sure my keynote clicker works.
- [08:05]
A
Right, Right.
- [08:06]
B
So you, but you, like, the joke has to work without the garnish in some form. And, and then. And then I move on from there because it's also just like, you know, that's how you make the joke work. And I've been doing that part of it for so long.
- [08:23]
A
Right.
- [08:23]
B
That even if I'm at the point, too, where it's like, I don't want to go on the road with this full presentation and then have somebody be like, our projector is broken. And it's like, okay, cool. Well, I'll still do 45 minutes, right?
- [08:39]
A
We'll do it anyways. We'll.
- [08:40]
B
We're gonna do it anyway.
- [08:41]
A
We're gonna do it. That's so funny to think about, like, the most disastrous version of, like, going on the road. You're like, I gotta make sure. I mean, like, you know, stand up is. That's kind of. You think of, like, why do people get into stand up? It's like, I don't have to rely on anybody else. Like, I, I, I can go and do it. I can't disappoint anyone but me and maybe a few people who paid, you know, to walk into this show, you know, the 10 bucks. But I'm willing to risk that, you know, like.
- [09:10]
B
Right.
- [09:10]
A
It is a very much a singles tennis type of endeavor. And then the minute you bring in this other thing, you're like, I'm bothering people. What if it goes haywire? I even the opening joke, which is about. And I loved it because I felt like the cartoon gave it a chance to be weird. And we see so few. I feel like I'm seeing less and less weird bits. If you think.
- [09:37]
B
Yeah.
- [09:38]
A
Do you feel that way?
- [09:39]
B
Very much so. I, like, I kind of feel like I don't, I can't. I'm not gonna blame social media for Stuff, but, like, you with social media, it's like you want to grab somebody's attention, get the joke out, get. Get them to get on board so quickly that you're either going, like, 100% weird or you're going, like, 100% straightforward. Here's the joke. I'm talking to you. Yeah, and that, like, in between, gets a little washed out. Totally. Yeah. I miss it, too. And it's like that thing, like, you do what you would want to see, and I have nothing to lose. I. I paid for this thing myself.
- [10:24]
A
Right, let's do it.
- [10:25]
B
Nobody's asking. Yeah, nobody's asking for it. I. I put it together and then, like, you know, we sent it to people to be like, hey, do you. Do you want anything to do with this? And.
- [10:36]
A
Right.
- [10:37]
B
Like, one place was like, yeah, we'll give you a. An embarrassingly low amount of money. And I was just like, nah. Right.
- [10:44]
A
To lose all control of it. They're like, you know, and. And the ability to even, like, chop it up. They're like, yeah, you. We'll. We'll put it on our, you know, on a screen in our bathroom for people to watch, and you can never see it again. Yeah, I. Well, because I was watching the. The initial bit is about the. A woman yelling out at you. 81 babies unite because you're born in 1981. And the direction you took to me was like, the Conan bit special. You know, the Conan bit direction that he would have done with, you know, the beginning of Conan when it was on at, you know, 1:30 in the morning, you know.
- [11:24]
B
Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's. And then that's the kind of comedy. I mean, I like so many different flavors of comedy, but that was kind of the, like, the alternative comedy is where it's what I gravitated towards pretty quickly.
- [11:41]
A
It was weird that it was a throwback for me. Like, I was like, I can't believe.
- [11:44]
B
Yeah.
- [11:45]
A
Like, I felt like, you know, like there was a time we were at the creek in the cave, and you were like, okay. Like, you. You could tell everyone was a Conan fan of that. Of that era. You could, like, kind of feel it. And it's like, man, like, where is that now? You know, Like, I kind of had that moment because I'm the 81 babies unite. To me, I'm like, I had this thing in my brain where I was like, man, that's how lonely we are. We're trying to, like, just find other people that were born in the same year. Like, this woman was so yeah. Such a loser that she had. She was like, yeah, that's my crew. Like. And you're like, yeah. And you were talking about 80. That 81 actual babies were gonna show up. And it took literally the special in this first 10 minute direction that I was, like, loving. Like, I was like, this is great. And then the pictures again, I'm gushing because I want people to go watch it, but I. I was wondering how you felt. Like, you know, because I'm like, I'm trying to get inside the mind of the comedian.
- [12:44]
B
It's like, well, so again, that's. That was another joke that was like, I. I have plenty of times where it worked without those visuals. And I. It took the same direction, but it was like, you know, I. I feel like I've had, I mean, literally somebody who is now at Netflix, who used to be at JFL when they first saw me audition a couple times for jfl, just for last.
- [13:15]
A
Anyone listening or watching? Sorry. It's just for the Festival of Montreal that, you know, we're all, like, gunning for at a certain point.
- [13:23]
B
Yeah. And he was like, you know, you do. You do these like, eight, five, eight minute showcases, whatever. And he made a comment that was like a compliment, but sounded. It was tough to read, but he was basically like, you seem to start so slow and be so unaffected by it, and then by the end of the set, like, everyone's so on board, but you don't get rattled when the first few things you say are not like, you know, hitting right away.
- [13:53]
A
Like, getting. Yeah, right.
- [13:56]
B
And I was like, okay. Like that. Yeah. And that's what that 81 babies thing is. And it's not because I could do that, but I want to get. I want to get the audience in the right mindset for what comes next. And there's a little bit of a sacrifice of the first few beats there.
- [14:18]
A
No.
- [14:18]
B
And it also, it also comes from hosting, which I'm sure, you know, where it's like, a lot of times you're just losing the first five minutes of you being on stage. You're like, I'm not gonna. These people are so discombobulated. There's. It's impossible for me to get their attention. And so I'm just gonna be patient.
- [14:35]
A
Totally. I mean, patience is lost. I mean, as you said in the beginning, like, you know, it's not that social media isn't the problem. It just is, you know, and you're like, yeah. So you go, okay, if I am looking. I had a. I had a booker Tell me once they were like, you, you're, you're an hour act. He was like, you need an hour. Like, he was like, this is a five minute. Would, wouldn't work for you because what you end up doing is you go out and attack people and they're like, this is too much. And what the is this? And then the minute you get to kind of sit and get it, like altitude, like as if you're flying a plane, is when I'm having the most fun with the set. And I was like, it was a good note, you know, Like, I was, it made me feel good because I was like, okay, good. I'm not like a complete delusional idiot, you know, but I'm also like, how do I figure this out? Or, you know, how do I be ensured that, like, hey, the first minute, you know, you're not gonna have people, like, you can't go on there and scream at them and make them, you know, aware of you right away. It's just not going to be that way.
- [15:43]
B
Like, yeah.
- [15:44]
A
And you know, because it is that, that 81 babies unite. I was like, man, it was like five minutes into the show and I'm like, okay, I love that this went the way it did. Like, I was like. And then the pictures, the visuals help so much. I, I, I, I was big fan. So you talk about not having kids, you and your wife not having kids. Do you feel that? Like, the not having kid? I was thinking about this, I was like, is there a moment where you're like, oh my God, we're the first generation that are just like, gonna be not having kids and no one's gonna be like, weirded out or it's like the first shameless, not have kids generation. Do you think we're that? And I hope that doesn't come off as mean. No, because I, I think, like, it was interesting that you're like, yeah, we're not gonna have kids. And I was like, wait a minute. Any other generation before us would have to be like this like, 10 minute explanation, but I didn't need that.
- [16:36]
B
Yeah, no, I definitely think that we're the, we're that generation. And like, because I see it with my, I have a younger sister, I have two younger sisters, about 10 years younger, and one of them is the same way. And it was, it's just like stated plainly, you know, and nobody, nobody makes a big deal out of it. And like, that part's kind of funny because it was like I did that bit on the special and, you know, just been doing it around or whatever and it gets a good reaction. Nobody. Some people say stuff to me after the show like, oh, you should, you should do it. I did, you know, I waited and blah, blah, blah. And it's like pleasant, you know, or some people, same way, yeah, we don't want to bother. We got animals, whatever. And then I put that, I put that bit online in like a carousel on Instagram, you know, recently, the last like month and a half, just repurposing stuff and it went viral in and because people were arguing in the comments and like, you know, like coming at me in a weird way like, why aren't you having kids? And you're just like, man, I, there's a lot of factors here that I'm not going to explain in a, in a like five image joke sequence. Like what? And then people start arguing with each other and you start to see like where people stand on it. And it is, it's like widely accepted but then also still kind of like, it kind of still kind of baffles some people.
- [18:16]
A
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- [19:51]
B
Boom.
- [19:51]
A
Well, it's weird as A comedian. I think we noticed this a lot. That. And. And maybe I think sometimes we're like, a little bit ahead of like, what feedback will people will get. And like, I think with I, what's going on is like, whenever you say an I statement to some people, that is a you statement. And. Yeah. Which is weird. And because. And we noticed that, like, when I say I'm a comedian, and I'm sure you get this too, there's a certain brand of person that is saying, I'm a comedian is saying, I think you're not funny. Like, they. There's an offense taken to I'm a comedian, which is like, crazy. And someone listening or watching might be like, that's not true. It's like, it is the total. You can feel it right away. There's fists are up. I'm a comedian. Tell me. And then you get. Tell me something funny. Oh, so you think you're funny. Like, to respond, oh, you think you're funny to someone's profession, like, oh, is like crazy. But it happens.
- [20:52]
B
Yeah.
- [20:53]
A
All the time, you know?
- [20:56]
B
Yeah.
- [20:56]
A
And when you say I, because you never say no one should have kids, you even take a moment, you take a beat to say, like, if that's what you want. Like, you're even defending yourself for nothing. There's nothing to defend.
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B
Yeah.
- [21:09]
A
And it is like, and. And to see the Internet kind of deal with this like, I statement taken in a you are an idiot for. For having kids is like, it kind of teaches you everything about what people. The tone people receive things with online. And yeah, it's like, you know, I think of like the. On, like, I always think you have to always remember, like, the Internet was created by nerds who didn't like leaving the house.
- [21:37]
B
Yeah. Very antisocial people.
- [21:39]
A
Right. So the nerds always believed that the cool kids hated them, but generally the cool kids didn't think of them at all, which is even more insulting. So it kind of like, it's almost like that's like the. The birth of you don't want kids. Well, you think I'm an idiot for having kids. It's like, that's the nerd reaction, you know?
- [22:02]
B
Yeah. And. And it's like there's been like, over time and we've seen it because we've been in comedy since the earlier inception of this social media stuff where things online become the. The purpose of them spreads further apart in contrast, where it's like, it's either, you know, like my wife watching puppies getting rescued on the dodo or like somebody, you know, watching, like a political fight or a crime being committed. And those are the two reactions that you're supposed, you know, it like, narrows the reactions that you're supposed to give and that anything online is supposed to make you feel. Or it's like, I'm either supposed to be like, really delighted by this or I'm. It's supposed to trigger an argument. And there's only.
- [23:02]
A
And there's only two emotions.
- [23:04]
B
Exactly. There's. If there's nothing that in between where it's like, oh, that's not for me. That's not for me. That's not for me.
- [23:11]
A
Right.
- [23:11]
B
It's all for me. And it's supposed to make me feel one of two ways.
- [23:16]
A
It's, it's, listen, maybe we're living in hell. Maybe we all died and this is hell. And this is, you know, I said that on stage a couple times and I just watched the audience. The audience kind of like is like, oh, maybe that's the answer. Yeah, I, I saw a video from Michael Simon, who's like a. He's the chef that was on the Cleveland. Yeah, he's like got the. And he's got the real thick accent and he's been on TV forever. But you can tell a guy who's been on TV forever now having to be online because he does this video. This. It was. I, I know. I watched this last night. He. He makes, it's him making an egg and he's making it the way his grandma used to make it or his grandpa, where he would take a lot of oil. The egg in oil. And it looks unbelievable. I've never seen an egg cooked that way. But he starts it by. It's really interesting. And I noticed it. He goes, he starts the video, goes, I'm going to cook an egg the way I like it. The way I like it. Like, he's almost getting ahead of, like the most emotionally, you know, the most emotionally affected person amongst us that would see an egg getting fried in oil and be like, that's too much oil. Like, you know, like, I'm like, Michael Simon, dude. Like, I need to talk to you. Like, it's okay. Like, most.
- [24:41]
B
Yeah, let him, let him act like that.
- [24:43]
A
Like, yeah, let him carry. You could tell he was getting a heads up. Like, he had done this before. He saw the comments and he needed to enunciate for quite literally the biggest loser amongst us. Like, like, it was just crazy.
- [25:01]
B
And then on top of that, it's weirder still when. Well, not weirder but it's part of a strategy for a lot of people where you see videos where somebody, like, purposely.
- [25:11]
A
Right.
- [25:12]
B
Does some weird to cook an egg because they know that everyone online is
- [25:16]
A
gonna be like, what are you doing? Right. Stop it, please, please, you're bothering me. Yeah, yeah.
- [25:22]
B
And then someone else be like, no, that's great. That's how I do it.
- [25:24]
A
Right.
- [25:25]
B
They argue and.
- [25:27]
A
Right. I swallow the egg whole and I let it cook in my body. Just like this person. Yeah, it's.
- [25:32]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [25:34]
A
So I wanted to know what is. So you said Calvin and Hobbes, your favorite. That was your cartoon that you grew up with. Is there a cartoon you can't look at? Like, as a cartoonist? Like, do you see a cartoon and go, get this out of my. Like, are you the person online who's like, michael Simon, stop frying an egg. That's too much oil? Like, do you have that with a, with a cartoon look? Like, like when I watch the old Simpsons episodes, I'm like, like, it like, hurts my brain. I'm like, show me the new version of the Simpsons. Like, what Is there a cartoon that, like, visually you're just like, it's not for me.
- [26:09]
B
Like, animation wise, there's certainly stuff that, like, burns me a little bit. But I have. So, like, I, I work during the day still, at least part time, you know, off and on with stand up. And what I've been doing is working in animation since like 2022, probably 21. So I, you know, like, I worked at a kid show on Nickelodeon and I'm working at Sesame street right now. So I have an understanding of, like, full on what it takes to get a. An animated thing online or to, you know, to do all that stuff. So the only thing that bothers me is when there are like, weird shortcuts made interesting. Yeah. Like the old Simpsons, it definitely, like, triggers me a little bit where I'm like, ugh, why'd they do that? And then. But then my, my animator brain goes, oh. Because it was like 1991 and they had three people on the staff. Like, right, right.
- [27:11]
A
This was like, they're literally flipping a book and drawing it 7,000 times. Second of footage, right?
- [27:20]
B
Yeah. Like, I can do this digitally now or whatever, you know, but like, I guess, like, weird 3D animation kind of bothers me sometimes, but there's nothing that really sets me off. I would say, like, heavily generated AI stuff when I see it in, in terms of animation where it's just kind of cranked out and like, slop on the Internet. That drives me nuts. But that's like, that's just the phase we're in right now.
- [27:48]
A
Well, that's what I'm wondering. You say you can do cartoons digitally. Like, is there a little bit of like. Well, I'm using this version and I want it to stop, you know, the, the AI of it all. You're like, you know, you're not drawing it on, you know, like one of these like, like a, like a post it notepad and you know, and then flipping it and then putting it on tv. Like, that's got to be weird. Like, that's gonna be a tough argument to make for the anti AI person because you're like, well, I like it up to this. Do you know what I mean?
- [28:26]
B
Yeah, yeah, totally. No, that's exactly like. Because you're like, well, it's like somebody who started in, you know, paint and paper animation would look at the way I do it and go like, you're cheating. And then someone who's doing like a generated AI, I go, you're che cheating. But I'm not cheating because it's available technology. And the same, the same thing kind of like applies upwards. So I totally get it. My thing is like your intent with what you're making and you're like, like, even with generated AI stuff, I'm not crazy about where it's headed as far as like losing employment opportunities for me and people that I care about. It's more like, how are you using as a tool or like how much of your taste is still present in what you're doing and how much of the, like, discipline part of it is there. It's, it's just when people kind of use it to like crank more garbage out.
- [29:30]
A
Well, it does relate to your special. And it's called with pictures is like, you know, when we're, you know, you have this. If we saw a standoff special with PowerPoint that made. That didn't really serve the special and they just did it so that they could like not have to write a joke, you know, and like the line is so thin, you know, like. Yeah, because you can sound like a snob. You can go, well, I don't. I like stand up to be pure. And it shouldn't have any visual aid except for the stand up comedian. And we would look at that person and be like, that's a, that's a stupid take. But then we would go. And then, then if you saw them like saying that about a special that had, you know, visual aids that were like not really. That made life easier and, and took away from the stand up we would agree. You know what I mean? Like, it's like the hardest thing in the world to differentiate.
- [30:29]
B
Yeah, I, I feel like it's, it's. You ever heard the phrase like it's the singer, not the song, right? Yes, it's, it's kind of that thing. It's like who's doing it and how are they doing it? And that makes a difference in the, the tool or you know, what's going
- [30:47]
A
on and that's what creates the argument in the comments section and why we're all in hell. Like that's like, you know, like, like we're, you know, like that's a, that's like a one off. That's a one a take, you know, one at a time. Take that you none of us have time for, you know, like I, I, I, like there was a bit in the special about having no kids and I want to play a game based on it. Are you ready?
- [31:09]
B
Sure.
- [31:10]
A
You talk about not having kids and what I loved you were talking about, like, so I have no excuses, like, I have no reason that I can get out of stuff. So I would assume that makes you an expert in getting out of stuff without a great excuse.
- [31:32]
B
Maybe. I was trying to think of. The last thing I politely declined.
- [31:40]
A
Declined is that takes more, that takes more will than I have. Like even that I'm like, I don't want to do that.
- [31:48]
B
I, it, it, like it really kind of depends on who the person inviting me or whatever is.
- [31:56]
A
Right?
- [31:58]
B
Like what I think they'll, they'll understand, right, or accept. I mean like last night we have like our friends of ours are our downstairs neighbors and they had a, they had a little party and it's like that's like extra difficult when it's like you live upstairs, you don't. We know what level of responsibility you have to other things. So you have to say, you can't just be like, I didn't see the invite. Like I always see the invite.
- [32:31]
A
I saw the balloons getting tied on the, on the mailbox outside and I saw everyone walking in and it's like, oh, there's a party yesterday.
- [32:39]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard the buzzer going off for an hour off and on. But then I, I did the five borough bike tour yesterday.
- [32:51]
A
Okay.
- [32:51]
B
So it's like a 40 mile bike ride through the five boroughs. And so I was able to tell them like, I'm gonna come down and say hi and I'm gonna leave in like, 15 minutes.
- [33:05]
A
Right.
- [33:05]
B
Because I. I just rode my bike through the city, like, 40 plus miles today. And, like, there was no excuse required. And they were, like, cool. Good to see you. Like, I got to see everybody who was there. And then I just, like, popped back upstairs and.
- [33:22]
A
Right.
- [33:23]
B
You know, try not to fall asleep.
- [33:24]
A
Do you see me walking like I just rode a horse for an hour?
- [33:28]
B
Right.
- [33:29]
A
I. I can't do this. Okay, so we're gonna play a game since you're an expert in excuses. It's called no excuse. Make up an excuse.
- [33:37]
B
Okay.
- [33:38]
A
Make up an excuse to get out of these events because you have no kids. Okay. You ready?
- [33:43]
B
Okay.
- [33:45]
A
Your neighbors downstairs are going on vacation. Can you water our plants?
- [33:52]
B
I. I'm supposed to be going out of town too. I'm just waiting to hear back.
- [33:57]
A
You're back from home.
- [33:58]
B
You hear me? Yeah. Hear me. Like, trying to lie on the fly. I'm not. This is the other part of it.
- [34:05]
A
You're back.
- [34:07]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [34:07]
A
From the Coast Guard. You're back in the Coast Guard. You're. I might have to go out to see.
- [34:11]
B
Yeah. It might be a big comedy opportunity. Yeah. I think Todd by. Might need me to open for him that weekend, so I don't want to make any hard commitments.
- [34:20]
A
To your plants.
- [34:22]
B
Yeah. Yeah. To your plants. It would be that. That would be a. A. A really hard one.
- [34:29]
A
It's a tough one. I started hard. I'm sorry.
- [34:31]
B
I should have especially, like, watering plants. Like, that's the easiest thing in the world. Hey.
- [34:38]
A
I have this huge issue with. I. I. My elbow. I would be like, I have golf elbow, and I can't fill up the water cup because it, like, hurts.
- [34:50]
B
I have furnophobia.
- [34:52]
A
Yeah. I got more ready.
- [34:56]
B
Okay.
- [34:56]
A
We have drinks planned for tomorrow, and I check in to make sure we are still good. And I text. Really can't wait to catch up. Up. It's been years.
- [35:07]
B
I. And have I committed and now I'm trying to get out.
- [35:10]
A
Committed to drinks with me.
- [35:12]
B
And I'm checking in six months ago or something.
- [35:14]
A
Yeah. Six months ago. And I'm like, hey, and. And I literally text you. I really can't wait to catch up. It's been years.
- [35:24]
B
Oof.
- [35:26]
A
Tough one.
- [35:26]
B
That would be a. That's a tough one. I. Here's. Here's the thing you can use when you have pets. You have a dog and a cat. I'm going, this is a hard one too. And it might not be well received by the other guest, but both the dog and the cat have diarrhea and we're trying to figure out what's going on.
- [35:51]
A
That you've used diarrhea in the excuse game is like the break in case of emergency glass. The minute you say diarrhea, it's like, okay, I get it. I'll back away.
- [36:06]
B
Yeah. No one wants to. No one wants to question it.
- [36:08]
A
Right.
- [36:09]
B
No one wants to deal with it.
- [36:10]
A
And I like that you landed on the pets, because if it was I have diarrhea, then you have to deal with the. Hey, how you've been feeling like a week later, this is. Yeah, put it on them.
- [36:22]
B
Yeah, yeah. And. And like, it's like. Like, people get it too. They don't want to ask further questions. And I will say that that has happened where, like, the dog and the cat were sick at the same time, and my wife and I were trying to figure out what's going on. But then also, like, cleaning up after a dog that will just poop anywhere.
- [36:46]
A
Right.
- [36:48]
B
And that. That would.
- [36:49]
A
Have.
- [36:50]
B
Had that been going on when someone was trying to hang out with me, I would have used that as the actual excuse.
- [36:56]
A
Right. That's the perfect excuse, is one that you have felt the pain of the excuse that you're giving. That's kind of perfect because then you can. It's like method acting.
- [37:08]
B
Right?
- [37:08]
A
You know, you have done this before,
- [37:10]
B
and you know this feeling.
- [37:12]
A
Yeah. You felt it. So. All right, we'll do one more. You ready? And.
- [37:16]
B
Sure.
- [37:16]
A
Everyone go watch Jim 2's special and go follow @Jim Twos. It's called With Pictures. The link is in the bio. Save it for a night on the couch. You're in bed, you're watching on your phone. It's great. I loved it. So funny. And Jim, it's called with. With Pictures because he is a very talented cartoonist, and that has to do with our next excuse. So my mom. My mom passed away, and I'm having a Celebration of Life party. And for it, I'm. I'm making all these cartoons of her and the things she loved to do. I call you to come over and spend the night helping me make these cartoons of my mom for our Celebration of Life party.
- [38:07]
B
Oh, my God.
- [38:08]
A
Your excuse, Jim, you're the only one I know who's great at this. And my mom just passed away, and I really want to do some great pictures for the Celebration of Life festival that I've planned.
- [38:22]
B
Oh, the diet, the dog. Diarrhea is not gonna work. No on that.
- [38:26]
A
That ain't. That ain't gonna fly with me. This is my Mom.
- [38:30]
B
No, I'm. If that happens, I'm. I'm just gonna break both my hands for real. And I'll be like, I can't do it. I broke my hands.
- [38:39]
A
How'd you do that? I don't know.
- [38:41]
B
Yeah.
- [38:41]
A
I don't know.
- [38:42]
B
Skateboarding.
- [38:43]
A
Oh, my God.
- [38:45]
B
Yeah. No, people.
- [38:46]
A
That.
- [38:46]
B
That would be. That would be one where I, like, I wouldn't be able to lie my way out of. Because, like, I. I mean, you saw me try to lie the first time.
- [38:54]
A
Yeah, it was. And think of it, pretty brutal.
- [38:56]
B
Yeah, I. I'm. I'm more the type to be like, I'll tell people straight up, like, I. I can't handle that emotionally.
- [39:06]
A
Like, that's a great one.
- [39:09]
B
That would be the truth. Yeah.
- [39:11]
A
I can't handle the whole thing. I'm going through it. And cartooning your mom who had just passed would just really be too much for me.
- [39:20]
B
That would be. That would be the excuse, but it would also probably be the real answer.
- [39:26]
A
Right. And can't handle it emotionally is the excuse that they would report on. On Fox News to say, what's wrong with a generation?
- [39:35]
B
Right, Right.
- [39:37]
A
The fake news story. Millennials are saying they can't handle it emotionally. To go into an office, and you'd be like, man, they really painted quite a picture here.
- [39:47]
B
Yeah. Yeah, I really walked myself into that one.
- [39:50]
A
Everyone, go follow Jim Twos at gym Twos. Hilarious. The special is called with pictures. Go watch. Pleasure to see you, buddy. I'm Jared Freed. Every Wednesday, we do chitchat Wednesday. Back next week. Boom.