Almost Went On A Chinese Dating Show! ft. Turner Sparks - CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY

Summary

The JTrain Podcast – CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY: Almost Went On a Chinese Dating Show! ft. Turner Sparks
Episode Date: April 1, 2026
Host: Jared Freid
Guest: Turner Sparks

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Episode Overview

This episode of The JTrain Podcast brings comedian Turner Sparks for a wide-ranging conversation spanning Jewish and Chinese cultural overlaps, stand-up comedy careers (particularly “clean” comedy), Turner's life in China, and the quirks of moving back to the U.S. after over a decade abroad. The episode is filled with warm anecdotes, cultural observations, and a behind-the-curtains look at both comedy and cross-cultural living. Jared and Turner laugh about their families, differences and similarities across cultures, and answer “Big in China” trivia about fast food, TV, dating shows, and more.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jewish & Chinese Culture: Food, Humor, and Community

• Chinese Cooking Classes for Jewish Couples
  [01:44] Turner shares that his Chinese wife teaches cooking classes, predominantly attended by Jewish couples, in their home.
  [02:13] Jared asks why it’s mostly Jewish people, and Turner jokes his wife is “becoming Jewish” while he “became Chinese.”
  • Turner: “She absolutely loves the Jewish culture. She’s like, Jewish people, they're so funny... And they love her. And so you kind of just love whoever loves you, you know?”
• Why Jews Love Chinese Food
  [02:49] Jared and Turner riff about the Christmas tradition of Jewish families eating at Chinese restaurants, with Jared theorizing it's because Chinese food is dairy-free—a requirement for kosher traditions—and because Chinese restaurants are open on Christmas.
• Chinese Attitudes on Religion
  [04:06] Turner discusses how China’s Communist government “stamped out religion a little bit” for 80+ years, seeing it as political competition.
  • Turner: “Our [American] leaders look at religion as almost a conduit to them...in China, the leaders look at it as competition.”
• Comparative Hospitality
  [21:23]&[21:35] Turner notes deep similarities between Chinese warmth and Jewish community:
  • “Chinese people are so funny and so warm... Everything’s about food and bringing you into their house.”
  • On Chinese New Year, “It’s unfathomable that you wouldn’t be around your family… Any family I came across was like, ‘You have to come to our house.’”

2. Comedy, Identity, and “Clean” vs. Edgy Material

• Turner's Comedy Career
  [05:11]&[06:54] Turner’s new special on Dry Bar (“Buttoned Up and Unhinged”) is discussed. Turner has always been clean, not for religious reasons, but as his natural comedic style.
  • Turner: “I just don’t really talk about it. And also, ideally, you don’t know unless you’re looking for it.” [07:08] Jared and Turner explain the business angle: clean comics get more diverse gigs (corporate, religious, country club, etc.), though comics avoid looking overtly “business-minded.”
    [08:36] They both agree clean should be “invisible”—not the first thing the audience notices.
    [10:45] Turner: “I just talk about my life and my wife and my parents… It would be bizarre if [suddenly] I’m like, ‘So anyway, Trump…’” [12:00] Humorous self-awareness:
  • Turner: “I just call myself Chinese, so I think that's pretty brave. Pretty brave in this day and age to identify as Chinese when you’re a white guy.”
  • [12:06] Jared: “Yeah, that’s a brave turn.”
• Performing for Specific Audiences
  [17:19] Both discuss how to authentically connect with audience groups—whether Jewish or Mormon—with Turner leveraging his “grew up with Mormons” background for his Dry Bar set; Jared shares experiences with Jewish crowds.

3. Life as an Expat in China & Returning Home

• The Expat Experience
  [19:08-24:23] Turner reminisces about living in China for 12 years, noting it’s “such a wild fun place,” with “people so nice.” He dispels American fears about China.
  • Turner: “There should be no fear. It’s such a wild, fun place to live. People are so nice."
  • Observations: rapid economic growth—e.g., the proliferation of cars and American-style malls ([23:35]), and the open embrace of Western brands.
• Cultural Attitudes Toward the U.S.
  [22:26–23:47] Turner describes China’s optimism: for years, it felt like “an upstart... just winning and winning.” People didn’t see the U.S. as a rival, but as aspirational.
• Moving Back to the U.S.
  [29:42] Turner talks about the reverse culture shock after 12 years away—struggling with adult tasks, being ahead of the U.S. in tech, and “going back in time.”
  • “I remember not knowing how to, like, get a new bank account... so many things you learn between college and 34."
  • [30:20] Notably, China’s early adoption of QR codes and cashless payments left the U.S. looking “analog.”

4. Big In China! – Turner Explains China’s “Biggests”

• Biggest Fast Food:
  [31:29] Turner: “KFC. Kentucky Fried Chicken’s enormous in China.”
  • [32:29] “There were years... [with] a KFC opened once a day in that calendar year.”
  • Top seller: The fried chicken sandwich on a bun with mayonnaise and lettuce.
• Biggest Scripted TV Show:
  [33:55] For 40-somethings and older, it’s Growing Pains (dubbed in Chinese and widely syndicated).
  • [35:36] “Everyone called him Boner... Chinese people not knowing, necessarily, the translation of that.”
• Biggest Game Show:
  [37:11] Turner describes a mega-popular Chinese dating show—the equivalent of “Singled Out”—that Irish comic Des Bishop appeared on and instantly became famous.
  • Turner almost went on the show—“I'm engaged to your niece!”, but his wife’s uncle urged him: “No, it’s for TV. Who cares?”
  • [38:32] Turner himself appeared on a low-budget local dating game show featuring amusing, junior-high style challenges (balloon competitions, etc.).
• Biggest Alcohol:
  [39:44] Turner: “Baijiu. It’s probably 80 proof, 90 proof alcohol, made with sorghum. It’s sweet but pretty rough.”
  • Best mixer: “Pineapple juice.”
• Biggest Workout Trend:
  [40:53–41:41] Turner: “Kung fu. Martial arts. I’m not even kidding… But really, Tai Chi is probably bigger: In the park, you’ll see grandmas and grandpas doing slow Tai Chi movements.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [02:38] Turner: “She thinks she’s Jewish now. She absolutely loves the Jewish culture. She’s like, ‘Jewish people, they’re so funny. They’re so much funnier than everybody else, why are they so funny?’”
• [04:17] Turner (on government and religion): “Either you believe in them or you believe in me. Which one are we going with?”
• [07:08] Jared: “You gotta treat stand-up like a business without talking about it like a business.”
• [12:00] Turner: “I just call myself Chinese, so I think that's pretty brave… to identify as Chinese when you’re a white guy.”
• [23:47] Turner: “They didn’t see us as competition. It was almost like an upstart… just happy to be in the game.”
• [32:29] Turner: “There was a KFC opened once a day in that calendar year… In our city alone, there were 80 KFCs.”
• [38:01] Turner: “Somehow [Des Bishop] just finagled his way onto this show… if you went on it, you were just famous. You were just like a famous person.”
• [39:49] Turner (on Baijiu): “It doesn’t taste like anything, but it’s a clear… hard alcohol… There’s no way really to compare.”
• [41:03] Turner: “Tai chi is probably bigger [than martial arts]... you’ll see grandmas and grandpas in the park doing Tai chi.”

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Fun, Relatable “Luxury Lounge” Complaint

• [42:36] Turner shares his comic “complaint” for Jared’s Luxury Lounge:
  His CPA dad does his taxes for free, but “ropes” him into hour-long explanatory calls every year.
  • Jared [43:20]: “You don’t pay a prostitute for the sex. You pay a prostitute to leave after the sex is over—in the same way you pay an accountant... you don’t have to deal with any of this.”

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:24] Introduction to Turner Sparks and his experience in China.
• [02:13] Jewish couples and Chinese cooking classes.
• [04:06] Religious culture in China vs. U.S.
• [05:11] Dry Bar special and clean comedy careers.
• [09:53] Political comedy and honesty on stage.
• [12:12] Turner’s “Chinese identity.”
• [17:19] Performing for specific audiences (Mormon and Jewish).
• [19:08] Living in China as an expat.
• [23:35] Rapid modernization and Americanization in China.
• [29:42] Returning to America after 12 years.
• [31:23] Game: “Big in China”—fast food, TV, dating shows, alcohol, working out.
• [42:36] Luxury Lounge: Tax season with a CPA dad.

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Tone

The episode is warm, humorous, a little irreverent, and filled with candid reflections. Both Jared and Turner blend personal stories, cultural observations, and playful jokes; Turner is self-deprecating, honest, and brings a unique, insider-outsider view of China and comedy alike.

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Closing

Turner Sparks’ special, Buttoned Up and Unhinged, is streaming on Dry Bar.

• “It’s a special you can put on in your living room with your parents, with your friends and your... everybody.”
• Links in the episode bio.

Find Turner on social: @TurnerSparks

Closing invitation:
“Go follow Turner Sparks, go watch the special, super funny, you’ll love it. Link in the bio. Back next week—Boom!”

Transcript

[J Train Jared Freed]

Chit Chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them, too. Chit Chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week, too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a Ch Chat Wednesday, too. Hello, and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Wednesday is a Chit Chat Wednesday where I speak to a comedian, a friend, an expert. I. I am sitting here today virtually with all three comedian, friend, expert in. I'm going to give him the expert in American Abroad in China. A view of Chinese culture from an American point of view. I don't want to say he's in a. He's a Chinese culture expert. I don't know who would get angry about that, you know, but I do trust his opinion on China and what's going on in that part of the world. We'll get to that later in the episode. Turner Sparks. Thank you for coming on the show.

[Turner Sparks]

Thank you. I usually just introduce myself as a Chinese person. So do you. That was.

[J Train Jared Freed]

You've taken it on fully. You are.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah.

[J Train Jared Freed]

For those that don't know, Turner lived in China and, you know, did comedy there. Got. Is married to a Chinese woman, you know. Do you guys have kids?

[Turner Sparks]

We have no kids. No. We. I've. I've been. We're ruminating. I've been talking about that a lot recently on stage. But, yeah, I was there for 12 years. She's a Chinese cooking instructor, so I hear. And people come to our house and they take the classes and she does

[J Train Jared Freed]

the classes at your house?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. So, like, I would say three out of three days a week, I have six to eight Jewish couples in my house taking Chinese cooking classes. It's like 90% of her audience is new.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Why is it always Jews? Is it because they grew up with Chinese food on Sunday nights and they're like, we want to learn how to make this at home. Is that part of it?

[Turner Sparks]

I. I think yes. Jewish people seem to love Chinese food. And there's. My wife now is like, we have. There's. There's flags on our. On our. On our fridge. She loves the, The. She. She's taken on. I think she. I think I'm Chinese. She thinks she's Jewish now.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

She absolutely loves the Jewish culture. She's like, Jewish people, they're so funny. They're so much funnier than Everybody else, why are they so funny? And they love her. And so you kind of just love whoever loves you, you know?

[J Train Jared Freed]

Well, there's a, there's a meme that goes around every Christmas where there's like a sign on the door of a Chinese food restaurant, and it's like, it's the funniest sign. It's like, we don't understand where this happened or why this happened, but we appreciate all the Jews that come visit us on ch. On Christmas Eve to have Chinese food. I think, I actually think it's because there's no dairy in Chinese cooking.

[Turner Sparks]

That could be. I have no idea.

[J Train Jared Freed]

I've thought about it a lot. Like, that's like a not fun answer to the question. That's like a, if you think about it, like, why would Jews like Chinese food? But there, there's, there's dairy in Thai cooking, I think, but not Chinese. Like, I don't really, I'm trying to think of a dish. There's spiciness, so the spicy level could affect, you know. And Jewish, Jews are known for having kind of weak stomachs.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. I mean, there's definitely no, yeah, there's no dairy for sure. But isn't it. What I always heard is that it was the only thing open on Christmas. The only.

[J Train Jared Freed]

That's a huge part of it, too. They. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[J Train Jared Freed]

There was the only thing open because, you know, Chinese people don't celebrate Christmas, which I, I, I guess that's true. I would just assume that's true. I, I guess they're both right.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Or I mean, nothing. I mean, since, for the last, like, 80 years, they've kind of a little stamped out religion a little bit. The Communists.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Is that what it is? Is that, Is that what it is?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Yeah. So, like, traditionally, I think historically, there was a lot of Buddhism and Daoism and stuff like that, but then that kind of. Yeah. When the Communist revolution happened in 1949, they sort of looked at. So I always say that we look at our, our leaders look at religion as almost a conduit to them. Like, we are like, it's, you know, it's in God we trust and it's on our money. And all that stuff we look at God is like, if you believe in America, that means you believe in God and we are one in the same. And whereas in China, they sort of look at it as the leaders, at least look at it as competition. Like, either you believe in them or you believe in me. Which one are we going with?

[J Train Jared Freed]

You know, it's funny that's such a perspective shift because, like, I'm like, oh, they don't celebrate Christmas. They must be a different religion. And then you're like, no, this is like a totally different thing.

[Turner Sparks]

How. Different world.

[J Train Jared Freed]

How do you deal with. I mean, I, I have these. So everyone. Turner has a special that's out on Dry Bar at the moment. It's not how well we tape this, but it will be out on March 27, which means it'll be out right now. When this comes, I want everyone to go watch Turner Sparks. Hilarious comic. Dry Bar is known for having, quote, clean comedy. Right. That's. And you, you go to Utah to tape your special and then they put it on their YouTube channel. Correct?

[Turner Sparks]

Yep. It's a. Yeah. Provo, Utah. And it's. I grew up. So it's a Mormon company.

[J Train Jared Freed]

No, I know this. I mean, I, I, I'm familiar with it because it's somewhat connected to Wise Guys, where I'll be performing. I'll have already performed. I think the guy, Keith runs Dry Bar. Right.

[Turner Sparks]

It's the same booker. Yeah. He books both.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right. And, and so it's a clean. So the idea is, like, here's comedy that you can trust to be clean. And, you know, in the. Nate Bargazi. You know, Nate Bargazi has almost become more known for clean comedy than Dry Bar has. Even though Dry Bar kind of precedes Nate. Right?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they do. They, They're. Yeah. And there have a Mormon sort of. I don't know if Mormon angle or whatever, because you wouldn't necessarily know it was Mormon, I guess, unless you really know them.

[J Train Jared Freed]

But, you know, the specials are funny. Like, this is. This isn't in any way trying to steer people away from Dry Bar because the specials are really good. They're really well done. Like, everyone should go watch Turner Special. So what got you in with them? What made you. Were you clean?

[Turner Sparks]

What's crazy? I've. So I am. I've been doing clean comedy since basically my whole career.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

I just don't, I don't really talk about it. I don't. And also, ideally, you don't know unless you're really looking for it.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right. Well, that's the thing. Clean comedy is, you know, the thing that people don't realize about stand up is that you gotta treat it like a business without talking about it. Like a business.

[Turner Sparks]

Exactly.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Because when you. When so.

[Turner Sparks]

Because how I've been making a living. It's why I could make a living way earlier than most of the people I came up with.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right. And that's the thing. You got to try and make a living. You have to keep in mind this is a business. But if you go around talking to other comics like you're a business person, trying to network, comics will shun you. And when someone says kind of takes the clean angle, because there's ways to make money from that. You can go do corporate gigs, you can do, you know, you can do country clubs, you can do groups, you can do religious, you can do anything. You know, if you go clean, you will make a career. But then if you're angling to make a career, that's when, then you kind of, like, interrupt your own art, you know, like, which is like this weird thing.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Because what you're saying is, right, you want someone to come to a show and go, and you know what? He didn't swear the whole time. Like, oh, like, you want it to be so funny that that's not something people even walk away with, which ideally

[Turner Sparks]

no one you achieve. Yeah, that's the goal. So. Yeah. Because then you don't want, yeah. You don't want it to be like, it was so clean. That's the first thing people talk about.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

For me, I'm not clean because it's, there's no, like, religious angle to it, which I kind of have seen a little bit, but not for me. It's, it's literally just like the way, like, Seinfeld is clean. I just find.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

That's the way I sort of write anyway. And I kind of like, I don't know. It's just kind of where. How my brain thinks. So you. Well, I remember trying dirty early and being like, it wouldn't work. The crowd was kind of like, nah, it's not really you.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Well, yeah, well, the thing is it has to be honest to you. And like, I, I see that with. Well, you probably see this too, when people go political. Like, I, I, I take a lot of offense. Weirdly, I get offended when someone's like, oh, you really steer away from the political stuff. I'm like, I'm not steering away from it as much as people are steering into it. Like, when people go political and try to be divisive, they're do. I don't trust that as honest. Like, I'm, I don't, you know, they don't. I don't see those people off stage being like, can you believe what's going on with Trump off stage? They never talk about it. You're like, that's not even Your life, that's not even who you are. And you, at this point, you need, like a Harvard level degree to be able to cover every angle, to do it honestly or do it correctly, you know?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Like, when. I feel like when we grew up, there was basically five political comedians, right. And they all knew a lot about politics, right? They were. There was a couple in San Francisco who never really made it out of San Francisco, but there was, like, super wonky political people, right?

[J Train Jared Freed]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And then there was, like, Bill Maher back in the 90s. There was, I guess Jon Stewart was pretty early on doing political comedy, but there was these people, were all people who spent their lives in the world of politics kind of studying it more than the average comedian would.

[J Train Jared Freed]

It was always like the law school comic. Like, the comic school. Geraldo was probably, like, more political because he could be, you know, like, I think his angle was more smart, you know, like, you needed a degree to, like, do it, you know, like, yeah,

[Turner Sparks]

he was a lawyer, right?

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right, he was a lawyer. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So I just talk about my life and my wife and my parents and I, I. You use similar things. So it would be bizarre if in an hour of me talking about if my wife and I are trying to decide if we're going to have kids, and then I'm like, so anyway, Trump. Did you see what Trump did yesterday? Like, the crowd would be like, what. What are you.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Well, now with, like, you know, with the hyperpolarization and the. The way the algorithm works, it's like, how do you get a bit to pop off? You're like, you got to find the hashtag. And it's like, I don't know. I see that. And I roll my eyes when I see. You know, when I see someone just talk about, like, I don't know, I just. And I do get annoyed because it's like, it does. They're trying to challenge your ego. Like, oh, I guess you. You. You know, in a lot of people's minds, it's brave to talk about political things. I don't think it's that brave because, you know, who agrees with you and who doesn't agree with you. You already know, of course, the footsteps are in the. In the snow already. Like, I. No one knows your parents, and no one gives a shit about your parents. And you're taking a chance by talking about them being like, hey, look at how this funny thing about my parents. It's like, okay, well, they have parents, but, like, who are your parents? To my parents, they can go fuck themselves. Like, you know, like, I think there's a lot more of a mountain to climb over.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, I just call myself Chinese, so I think that's pretty brave. It's pretty brave in this day and

[J Train Jared Freed]

age to identify as Chinese when you're a white guy. Yeah, that's a brave turn.

[Turner Sparks]

So.

[J Train Jared Freed]

So you're doing this special with dry bar, and it's coming out. It's out right now. Everyone should go watch. What's it called? And what. Yeah, what was it like to go to Provo? I mean, to go. But I've heard the audiences are, like, hyped for it.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, they're fantastic. So, yeah, it's called Buttoned up and Unhinged and. Right. So I usually, like, dress up a little bit on stage, but so what? I had wild advantage. I grew up in a. Basically a Mormon town in Northern California. So a lot of my friends. Yeah. Like, suburban Sacramento, kind of in the foothills on the way to Lake Tahoe. It's like my town was just barely, like, the very edge of the suburbs of this city, so we were still suburban. But if you drove 15 minutes further up the hill into the Sierra Nevada mountains, it was like Confederate flags. Oh, wow. So in. I remember in middle school, you're playing, like, football, like, flag football on your school team. And if we'd go, like, towards the city, you're playing like, every. It's like the biggest wimps on Earth. And then you're going 15 minutes the other way and you're playing these, like, straight up, just inbred KKK member families.

[J Train Jared Freed]

So. But that's so weird. I'm from the Northeast, and it's like, you hear California, and you're like, California is like crunchy granola, you know? Like, that was like, always like the. And also, you're in Northern California, which is close to San Francisco. Like, sure. Did you, like. Is it like you say these, like, KKK guys, are they, like, also eating gluten free? Like, is it like this?

[Turner Sparks]

No. You know, they're like wildly different people. They're so. My grandma was. When we were growing up, she was a. I don't know if you guys had this. The stars. She was a volunteer cop. Okay. They had this cop.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Your grandmother was a volunteer cop?

[Turner Sparks]

80 years old. Her and her friend were cops in our town. They started, like, a division of the police that was all senior citizens. Seniors on patrol, they called them.

[J Train Jared Freed]

I mean, it was like out of a sitcom. Like, that's out of a Disney Channel original show where you're like, I guess this is a thing I'll believe for this kooky grandma.

[Turner Sparks]

Here's the, here's the. Here's the worst part. So they sent these like 80 year old like women up into the hills to go police the. The Confederate flag neighborhoods. And then no guns. They didn't arm them, but they put them in police cars.

[J Train Jared Freed]

They brought tissues and Werther's originals. They're just gonna like sore throat and gonna wipe your cheek if it gets a little stain on it.

[Turner Sparks]

So they had like a way of defending themselves if these people flipped out on them.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Even with a gun. I feel like an 80 year old grandma would shoot a gun and she'd go backwards. Like, yes.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. There's no, no training, no anything. And so she was like, she always had this story of. She's like, yeah, I remember going up into the hills, we got over the walkie talkie, we got like a, A report of graffiti. And we live like, there's no, there's no, no buildings where we live. It's like kind of pretty.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Like there's Sacramento as a town is pretty suburban.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the fact that there would be graffiti, like on what tree would this graffiti live on? You know? So she's like driving up through the mountains of Northern California and she's like, takes down and this pre gps, right? She's going down this road and then taking a left to take another. And she gets to the end of this road way out in the middle of nowhere. And she said, it's just like, you're very much like, it's deliverance, right? There's a banjo and. And she stops and like this family comes out of like these people. Everyone's got a mullet. Like not a cool new mullet, but like an old mullet, right? And they're like, they're like, what do you. What do you want? What are you doing? Like, she's a cop to them. She's a cop. And she's like, we got a report of graffiti around here. And they're like, he don't live here no more. And she's like, all right, we're going home. And then that was. And then she like retired the next day. She's like, oh, she got scared.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Scared her out of the job. I just love that an 80 year old woman is running the beat, like just like walking the streets with, you know, like with, with. With a.

[Turner Sparks]

Like so it's a wild place, but. But then also like half the people are Mormons. So I grew up all these Mormons So. So I just spent the first, like five minutes of this dry bar thing just being like, I know who you are, right. You know the deal people are, right. I grew up with you, and I start listing off, like, Mormon things. I know about Mormons, you know, and so then I've kind of like ingratiated myself to them. And then I just went in and did my, did my material. But I remember them saying, like, they were like, absolutely. Do not do local material jokes. It's not gonna get on the special. I'm like, yeah, but I need to warm up the audience for myself, right? Like, I don't need it to be on the special. I just need them to like me

[J Train Jared Freed]

before I did it. Make it on or did you do. They cut that out. And it just starts with, you know, doing your. Your set.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. So I was like, no, no, we'll cut that. I just want to do it for the room.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right? And then also, like, you know, when you, when you come in contact with a group of people that's, you know, like, with, like that shares this one thing and you don't want to down them. Like, you're not going up there to make fun of them. You're just, you're going up there to let them know, like, I know the deal. Like. And I learned that, yeah, I learned that with Jewish crowds that, like, I used to do, like, I would get booked on, like, pretty religious shows and I felt uncomfortable because I'm not a religious. I'm not, you know, keeping kosher. I. I'm familiar with these things, but, like, they're living in a different planet than me. But then, so in the beginning when I would do these, I'd be like, I'm not like you guys. And it would just, like, it would totally ruin the room. It would, it would, they'd be, well, you, like, it felt like I was talking down to it, but I wasn't. I was really more self conscious that, you know, that I wasn't and. And that I wasn't like, as read up as they were, you know, So I changed my attitude with it. I noticed that when I said I would do a joke whenever I did a Jewish show about how I wanted to marry Jewish, and that changed the whole energy. They're like, he likes being in this club, he's enjoying it. And, and you know, you perform for people like yourself, it's the hardest audience. Like, you know, it becomes this, like, well, you know, what are you gonna tell me about me that I don't already know? You know, I'm fine.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[J Train Jared Freed]

You know, so. And especially with Jews, you know, I think Jews consider stand up their, their sport, you know, like that's like.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[J Train Jared Freed]

You know, so there's a little bit of protection there. But I remember when I said I wanted to marry Jewish to like, you know, the, the fists went down, you know, so.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, so that was the same.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Do you ever. I, I'm so curious. I, I always bring up the China stuff because I always. Do you ever miss living there? Did you ever. Do you ever want, did you ever want to go back?

[Turner Sparks]

I do. It was so much fun.

[J Train Jared Freed]

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[Turner Sparks]

I do. It was so much fun.

[J Train Jared Freed]

It was more about age or is that more about. Is what about. It was fun. Like I. We have probably

[Turner Sparks]

go ahead.

[J Train Jared Freed]

No, I just think we have this like fear and it's just an unknown.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, there was. There should be no fear. I mean it's like such a wild fun place to live. People are so nice. That's what I was going to tell you earlier is that I also think. So my wife finds. And I also find that, that I didn't. You know, I grew up in Northern California. There wasn't a lot of Jewish people. So a lot of. My introduction to Jewish people is coming to New York as well.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

And there's a lot of cultural similarities. But everyone. Chinese people are so funny and so warm and so like everything's about food bringing you into their house.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

And there was. Yeah, it's. Even when I. Long before my wife and I met. I was there nine years before her, and I met. And so I was just like this guy kind of on my own, this American guy living in China. And any family I came across was like, oh, my gosh. You're. They're big things. Chinese New Year. So they're like, are you going to see your family on Chinese New Year? But I'm like, oh, no, it's. We don't. I. We don't do that. They're like, how could you not? That's what we. And I'm like, well, I mean, with

[J Train Jared Freed]

Christmas, you know, that's the same.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. It's, like, unfathomable that you wouldn't be around your family at Chinese New Year. So they're like, well, you have to come to our house. You're coming. You can't be alone. You have to come with us. So every year I'd be with a different family, and they would just bring you into the family. And like, oh, you're. All of a sudden, you're hanging out with the cousins and playing basketball, like 8am While the parents are still asleep and stuff.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Do they feel this kind of undercurrent of competition with the U.S. and the way the U.S. feels is A. An undercurrent of competition with China or what?

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, the government definitely does. I never got that. So stuff changes so much. You know, I was there from 2004 to 2016, right. And there was just everything. Every year was getting better and better and better and better and better. Life out there, people's jobs. I remember the year, and everyone got cars. It was probably like 2010, and everybody. Finally. I remember I worked in this office, and there was like, it was an office building, maybe six floors, six floors high. And there was 13 parking spots for the whole building. And for years, I was the only one who would park. I. It was easy to get a spot. I would just park my car. I drove over a park. And then one summer, all of a sudden, there was, like, 30 people had cars. And then, like, two months later, 50. And then there was just no chance you could ever get a spot in this lot. And everyone was making money at the same time. And so every. They didn't see us. It was almost like a. Like an upstart, like a 12 seed in the NCAA tournament, all of a sudden, just winning and winning, winning. And they don't feel competition with, like, Duke because they're like, we're not there yet, but we're getting there, you know.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

So.

[J Train Jared Freed]

And we, and we're also happy to be in the game, you know, we're happy to be here. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[J Train Jared Freed]

I mean, getting a car too is like such a freedom thing. Like, I, you know, the minute I, I moved to Delray beach and I. Within a month here, I, you know, just the driving myself to the airport, like, to go on the road was such a freedom for me that I could leave anytime I want. I didn't have to pay to, you know, when do I order the Uber, I just jump in the car and go, you know, like, it's just a different. It changes your whole mindset totally.

[Turner Sparks]

There were so many things. I remember the mall, the first time this like, American style mall opened in our city and everybody just bought everything that they had in the mall. So I remember they opened. There was a Dickies. Dickies, yeah, of course, shoes. So a Dickey store open in this mall. And I remember the next week, like all the office staff in my company came to work in like Dickies, like stompers, like the ones you'd wear to like a punk rock show. You know, they're. They were just like, whatever, this is cool. Like, this is new. I'm going to try.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Do you. I wonder, I mean, from your perspective, I would think this is like, very interesting the way TikTok has kind of changed how people look at China. You know, TikTok being this huge app that. You know that and you see young people in the comments. If there's ever a discussion of like China in the world, us kind of gets this negativity and China gets this like, real positivity. Like.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Do you notice that? And how do you feel about that?

[Turner Sparks]

It's so we need to separate the people from the government in every country. But China's included. China's included in that. And it's not, it's not. It's. I. It's hard stuff to talk. I mean, like, I have real opinions on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact alone that I feel slightly uncomfortable giving my real opinion. Should tell you, to tell you enough. So it's still. It's a communist. It's a communist dictatorship. There's no free speech, there's no free elections.

[J Train Jared Freed]

There's no transfer of power app that like, is literally the most free of all the feeling. I guess it feels the most free of all the, like the most democratic of all the social medias. But that might be by design. That's why I Don't trust it. I'm, I have like this back and forth. I'm like, man, the algorithm gets you out to so many new people. And then you go to Instagram and it feels so restrictive. But then it's like, this must be, to me, I'm always like, maybe this was the, you know, this was the, the plan all along to make Americans go, what the are you doing to us here? We can't even use hashtag food and find new food fans.

[Turner Sparks]

You know, like, there's no perfect system. You know, I'm making you uncomfortable.

[J Train Jared Freed]

I, I, I get it. I'm just saying. I, I think it's an interesting thing. The, you know, they talk about sports washing. You know, they talk about like a government using sports to make you look at the country in a different way. That's kind of the idea of sports wash.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes. Like with Formula One in like whatever Saudi Arabia or whatever it might be,

[J Train Jared Freed]

whatever it goes, you know, they listen with, with, you know, so, you know, they're doing flag football in Riyadh, you know, like that type of stuff, or they were planning on it before the,

[Turner Sparks]

that's going to work.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right. So, but now, you know, there is a, I, I, I do believe there's a social media washing that goes on with TikTok and the way we look at things now versus before. I, I just think it's like, it's, I just, it's just. So I wanted to ask you, I like to play a game with every guest that comes on and we will stay very positive with our friends in China. I wanted to ask everyone, go follow at Turner Sparks. Go follow the special I'm sure is great. I got, I, I haven't gotten to watch it. I went to go watch it and I'm like, oh, it comes out on the 27th, but it's out right now. We'll have the link in the bio of this episode. Wherever you watch, listen, the link will be there waiting for you. Go watch. And it's a special you can put on in your living room with your parents, with your friends and you're. Everybody, everybody. That's the whole goal of Dry Bar is the, you can just put it on and feel really good about putting it on and it's going to be funny. So that's the best part. Okay. Yeah, go ahead.

[Turner Sparks]

No, I was going to say this one's about, it's, it's about my me returning. I mean, like, it's a, So I did a collection, I have two albums out, but I don't that I recorded over the last few years, but I have no special yet because I'm an idiot. And I did. It was audio only. I didn't like.

[J Train Jared Freed]

No one wants video these days. There isn't a fun app that could promote it with a great algorithm that helps get stand up out there at all. So you're literally feet on the ground in China. You. You saw it. It was there for you.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. So it was 2019, 2022, these two albums. And so then when Drybar came around and they were like, hey, we want to do a special with you. And I'm like, yeah, can I do. Because I'm in the middle right now. I'm almost ready to record a new hour. But they were like, well, can we. I was like, can I do all material? I have these two albums that are audio only, and no one's ever. No one listens to. And they were like, yeah, give us whatever you want.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So I did, like, a. Essentially a collection of those two, put them together, took the best stuff I love. So it's so. It's really an introduction to me, but also my return to America after 12 years living in China. When I moved back.

[J Train Jared Freed]

It must have been wild to move back after 12 years.

[Turner Sparks]

So wild. Oh, my gosh. Well, also, I left when I was 22, so I didn't know basic stuff. You know, I went to college in America, grew up in America, obviously college, and then left. And then I came back when I was 34, and I remember not knowing how to, like, I don't know, get a new, like, bank account. I didn't have credit. There was, I mean, like, so many. Think of the amount of stuff you learn between the day you graduate college and being 34 years old, just becoming

[J Train Jared Freed]

an adult, opening a bill, you know, that's like, that alone.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, and also China at that time was so ahead with tech that, like, they had apps for everything they had. The QR code was already, like, a big deal out there. I had a comedy club out there, and we. People were already buying drinks with their QR code at our club. And then I came back, and everything was still analog here, so it was kind of like relearning.

[J Train Jared Freed]

That's crazy.

[Turner Sparks]

What did we used to do? It was sort of like going back in time.

[J Train Jared Freed]

So do you keep in touch with people in China now? I mean, obviously your wife is from China.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. We go back once. She goes once a year or Twice a year. I go once every other year or something like that. I mean, depending on schedule. But, oh, yeah, we still have all our family out there and talk to them all the time. Go as much as possible.

[J Train Jared Freed]

So as a former resident of China, I wanted to play a game with you called Big in China. I'm curious, what is the biggest of these categories in China? And if you can explain them to us here on the J Train podcast. Does that sound good?

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, let's do it.

[J Train Jared Freed]

What is the biggest fast food in China?

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, that's easy. Kfc.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Kfc?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Kentucky Fried Chicken's enormous in China.

[J Train Jared Freed]

I remember that. I. I had heard there's like a thing on Christmas where KFC is eaten on Christmas, Right.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't know if that's true.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Oh, okay, maybe I'm totally way off. Maybe that's Japan.

[Turner Sparks]

But I, I never saw that. But, but. So there was years when I was out there. The first year I was there, I worked at a local newspaper and I remember there being a story in our paper that that year, this is like 2004, 2005, there was a KFC opened once a day in that calendar year, meaning more than 365 KFCs were opened in China that year. And then that lasted for maybe like five or six years minimum. Every year there was more than one KFC a day being opened. And at that time, 2004, I remember there was 80 KFCs in our city alone. 8. 0.

[J Train Jared Freed]

So what do people get at KFC? Like, what's the thing? You know, I know they have different menus in different countries. Like, I love the kfc. KFC chicken. KFC Chicken fingers. Great. The KFC French fry doesn't get enough publicity. The kfc, it's a steak fry and it's really well seasoned. Do they have the KFC fry there?

[Turner Sparks]

They have the KFC fries. The, the big thing I remember is the sandwich. The chicken sandwich. Like the fried chicken sandwich. Almost like kind of a version of what Popeyes did much later on.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Well, but it wasn't much later on. But then KFC was like, we got ours now, like everyone. There was like a fried chicken sandwich war going on.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. And kfc. KFC China got so big that they split off into their own company. So there's like KFC World and then KFC China. And I think they're equally as big as each other. They might be conglomerates, you know, they funnel back to the same business or whatever.

[J Train Jared Freed]

So the chicken sandwich is like the thing people get.

[Turner Sparks]

So, yeah, it's the fried chicken on a burger, on a. On a bun with mayonnaise and lettuce. I think that's pretty much it. But it was so good.

[J Train Jared Freed]

The biggest scripted TV show in China.

[Turner Sparks]

Foreign. So I don't know Chinese.

[J Train Jared Freed]

What's the show like? What's. Like. What's the TED Lasso of China like? I don't even care.

[Turner Sparks]

Here's a good answer.

[J Train Jared Freed]

That it's in English.

[Turner Sparks]

It's obviously like generation by generation. I can't tell you right now because I'm not there right now. But when I was there, the people are like people in their 40s and, like, a little older. It was Growing Pains.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Growing Pains.

[Turner Sparks]

They absolutely love Growing Pains. Yeah.

[J Train Jared Freed]

What's Growing Pains?

[Turner Sparks]

I've watched Growing Pains was like, Mike Seaver.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Oh, with this. This. So that was Michael J. Fox.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, it wasn't Michael J. Fox. It was the other guy. Oh, what's the guy's name? He now does a lot of, like, super Christian movies.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Oh, yes. It was Cameron Kirk. Cameron.

[Turner Sparks]

Cameron, Kirk, Cameron. And then the. The girl who became his wife. And then the dad was Robin Thick. Robin Thick.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Robin. Robin Thick. Alan Thicke and his sons. Okay, so wasn't he a conservative? And the parents were liberal? No, that's. That, that's.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, no, that's. That's. That's Silver Spoons. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Growing Pain was a popular American sitcom that aired on ABC from 1985 to 1992, focusing on the Seaver family in Huntington, New York, led by psychiatrist father Jason Alan Thicke, who worked from home while his wife, Maggie Joanna Kearns, returned to her journalism career. The show followed the lives of their children, Mike, Kirk, Cameron, Carol Tracy Gold and Ben Jeremy Miller, as they navigated teenage issues with later seasons introducing Chrissy and homeless teen Luke Brower. Leonardo DiCaprio, they. That he was.

[Turner Sparks]

And then Neighbors was named Boner.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Yeah, Boner.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. And everyone called him Boner. And I remember, like, okay, Chinese people not knowing, necessarily Friends of mine, not necessarily knowing the translation of that.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Well, the premise, I mean, was there some. A family sitcom where the father works from home, allowing him to have more. Be more involved in his child's lives as they grow up. Was that kind of a weird thing to see for them as much as it was maybe here in the 80s and early 90s?

[Turner Sparks]

I think it was somehow that it was. For some reason it was dubbed into Chinese.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

And so it just got. It just went everywhere.

[J Train Jared Freed]

And then there's a little bit of, like, tick tock where, like, if you join in 2020, you got a bigger following. Like, they were just first to be dubbed.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, it was first to be dubbed. And then it was a. So sort of like a window into American family life, culture, suburban family life.

[J Train Jared Freed]

I wonder if. And then a Chinese show dubbed like that to English. If we would care, you know, like, would we have the curiosity? I mean, I'm curious right now. I'm asking you questions.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I'm trying to think. There was nothing in Chinese, but we. I mean, we're very big now into like K pop, like Korean stuff, which has never been dubbed, but. But it's like, you know, parasite. We subtitle. I don't know. Like, it seems like in the last, like 10 years, people got super into Korean culture.

[J Train Jared Freed]

That is true. As. Okay, in China, what's the biggest game show?

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, man. Okay, so there was one. I. I've been on a couple game shows.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

China. Yeah. But the biggest one, there was a dating show that DEZ Bishop was on.

[J Train Jared Freed]

DEZ Bishop, hilarious comic, has been on this show before. I was just with them the other day. I just saw him the other day. So DEZ was on a dating show?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. So Des and I were all out there at the same time. So we met, we became friends out there in China and we, like, toured around together and did a bunch all around country. And he was on a show that was like. I forget the name of it, but it was the biggest dating show in China. And it was like in a studio, almost like an 80s. Like in America we would.

[J Train Jared Freed]

We used to like, singled out. The way they would, like, do that with an MTV dating show.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah. And I remember this show being huge. And if it was one of those. If you went on it, you were just famous. You were just like a famous person.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Real.

[Turner Sparks]

And somehow he, like, finagled his way onto this show. And then I remember my wife's uncle. We. We were still. I think we were just dating at the time. Or maybe we were like, engaged, about to get married. And my wife's uncle's like, turner, you have to see, like, there's this white guy on this show and he's a comedian. And now because he's on this show, he's famous and he's like, you need to go on this show. And I was like, I'm engaged to your niece. And he was like, no, it's for tv. Who cares? Who cares? Just do it.

[J Train Jared Freed]

That's how. What was it called?

[Turner Sparks]

I can't remember. I can't remember. The name. My wife would probably know the name. And she's in the other room, but if she comes in, I'll let you know. But I. I can't think of it. But yeah, I was on this, like, early on, I was on this local dating show that was like, so, like, it was like high school television level production. It was very low, very low level. And then what was the other game show? The premise was. Oh, yeah, the premise of the one I was on, it was three guys and three girls. And then you would do a challenge and then, like, stuff that you would do it, like a junior high dance, meaning, like Coke and Pepsi. Like. Yeah, they would put like a balloon between you and you would have to see how close you could get without popping it and stuff like that, you know, and.

[J Train Jared Freed]

And this is wild.

[Turner Sparks]

And then at the end of each round, you would pick a girl, like, on a card. You would write it secretly on a card, and then the girl would pick the guy. And then if you matched up, then you were a couple or whatever, like, you won.

[J Train Jared Freed]

What's the biggest alcohol in China?

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, by Joe Baijo.

[J Train Jared Freed]

What is. What does baijo taste like?

[Turner Sparks]

Baiji is probably 80 proof, 90 proof alcohol. It's made with sorghum. It doesn't taste like anything, but it's a clear. Like nothing that we have. There's no way really to compare, but it's a clear alcohol. Hard, obviously hard alcohol, and kind of looks like vodka or Everclear, but tastes. It's sweet. It's a little sweeter than that. Pretty rough. And you can get it anywhere from like $500 to 50 cents.

[J Train Jared Freed]

What would they mix it with?

[Turner Sparks]

So difficult to mix. I tried for like a decade. Anything you mix it with, it just tastes like more of that. I remember putting it in Coke and it just tasted like you're drinking this giant thing of baiji. So finally, my wife went to work for a baijiu company when we moved back to the US and they said you mix it with pineapple juice. And then we did that and it was great.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Oh, okay.

[Turner Sparks]

So pineapple juice would be the move.

[J Train Jared Freed]

What is the big. So I was thinking about this before. Do people go work out there? What's like the workout?

[Turner Sparks]

So, yeah, Kung fu. I mean, I'm not even kidding.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Stop it.

[Turner Sparks]

Martial arts.

[J Train Jared Freed]

So people are doing martial arts there, like adults?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. So. Well, I would say Tai chi is probably bigger. So if you go to the park, there's elderly people, like grandmas and grandpas will be there. Doing Tai chi is the really slow one, you know, where you're kind of.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Yeah. They look like they're a tree. Like in the wind.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes. Yeah, exactly. And so that would be it. I mean, more modern. They do everything. Yoga, weightlift, like the same things we would do.

[J Train Jared Freed]

They go to classes. Like, is that like a thing there? Or like we. The only country. Like, are they like waking up in the morning before work and going to a class and there's a teacher and someone's like, I'm a fitness instructor. Or is it like. Not like that.

[Turner Sparks]

That is. But very recently and kind of in cities. In the big cities. So. But even when I first got there, 2004. No. The answer would be no. It was people swimming, maybe bike riding, maybe running. But there wasn't a gym culture that came along. Probably like 10, 15 years ago.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Right. Turner Sparks, thank you for coming on. This is such a pleasure. I love talking to you. Everyone needs to go watch the special at Turner Sparks, but it's on Dry bar and it is called Buttoned up and Unhinged. And Unhinged. I couldn't find the name because it wasn't. You got to put it on your.

[Turner Sparks]

It's not.

[J Train Jared Freed]

It's not out yet.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Buttoned up and Unhinged. The link is going to be in the bio this episode.

[Turner Sparks]

You're right. I really got to do it. Can I do. Do you still do Luxury Lounge?

[J Train Jared Freed]

Yeah, every Tuesday is a ticked off Tuesday, which is a version of the Luxury Lounge. Do you have a complaint?

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, I have one that I thought of earlier.

[J Train Jared Freed]

I love a complaint.

[Turner Sparks]

So it's tax season, so my dad is a cpa.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

So for my entire life, he's done my taxes for free, which is fantastic.

[J Train Jared Freed]

But that's the perk of being the son of a cpa.

[Turner Sparks]

It really is. It's the one major perk of. It's not a thing. No one's like, wow, cool, your dad's a cpa.

[J Train Jared Freed]

No, but, you know, save you some money.

[Turner Sparks]

Taxes free for life. But it kind of. It ropes you in this time of year to a lot of phone calls with my dad where he wants to very slowly explain to you the ins and outs of your tax situation.

[J Train Jared Freed]

This is why. This is. It is the same. It's like, why does someone get a prostitute? You're paying the prostitute to leave to go away. Right?

[Turner Sparks]

You.

[J Train Jared Freed]

You. That's the whole. That's the old joke is you don't. You don't pay a prostitute for the sex. You pay the prostitute to leave after the Sex is over in the same way you pay an accountant so that they do it and you don't have to deal with any of this. I had this happen my dad, and this is such a, my, I, I, I have this apartment here. I bought this apartment and my dad had like credits with a lawyer and the lawyer that he had credits with was very nice and did a great job. But like, I wasn't paying for this lawyer. So it turned into this like, like, I don't know, I, I, I just felt like I was taking extra calls that I wouldn't have taken. Like, if I, if, if I had hired the lawyer, I'd be like, yeah, do the job. I'll sign papers, goodbye. There's this extra level of you're getting this for free, so be polite. And you know, and, and your dad being like, you know, if you do this on extension and you're like, this

[Turner Sparks]

is all this, I don't need any of this information.

[J Train Jared Freed]

I'm not using this.

[Turner Sparks]

He was, he was explaining to me yesterday, he goes, you know, we're going to need your taxes for. You make too much in California. So we're going to need a California return. And you can also include the flights to California. But when you look up the flights, Sacramento, it doesn't just say Sacramento on your credit card. It's going to say S M, F. So you're going to have to look for. And then San Francisco's SFO and he's going through every, and you have every airport, right? And I'm like, I will pay for this. I will pay someone.

[J Train Jared Freed]

I will pay you to shut the fuck up. Grandpa, it is. Yeah. You can't look at your dad and go, hey, wrinkles, send me a bill and tell me what you need. Because that's what a normal CPA does. They tell you what, they give you a list, they go, give me these things. And then you say, here are these things. And then they give you a bill and you go, here's your money. Yeah, like if you go to station. No, that's, that's, I'm with you. I, I would say I'm gonna make this the clip. I'm speaking directly to your dad. Hey, dad, if you do it, do it. And if you don't want to do it, if you want to turn this into. Maybe he's like, maybe he'll become an accountant still. Turner's never becoming an accountant. It's over. The ship has sailed.

[Turner Sparks]

So that's my, that's my luxury lounge.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Great complaint, cuz that would piss me the off. I'd be like, I can't believe he's explaining credits and debits again. I. I'm never going to use this. Yeah, that's great.

[Turner Sparks]

Thank you.

[J Train Jared Freed]

Turner Sparks at Turner Sparks. Go. Follow. Go, go, go. Watch the special. Super funny. You're going to love it. Link in the bio this episode back next week. Boom.