Fast Food Favorites & Comedy War Stories with Amy Miller

Summary

The JTrain Podcast

Episode: Fast Food Favorites & Comedy War Stories with Amy Miller
Host: Jared Freid
Guest: Amy Miller
Date: January 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode of The JTrain Podcast, host Jared Freid is joined by comedian and writer Amy Miller for a lively Chit Chat Wednesday. They dive into comedic war stories from their experiences with writing and performing, share insights about the realities of working in television and stand-up, and take an especially hilarious deep-dive into their fast food favorites—specifically, a fantasy Arby’s order. The conversation balances honest, inside-baseball discussion of the comedy world with lighthearted tangents about cats with dementia, family dynamics, and the guilty pleasures of dipping sauces.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy Friendships, Origins & Social Media (00:00–03:40)

• Jared opens with his signature tongue-in-cheek intro tune and brings Amy Miller on, describing her as a comedian, friend, and expert in "writing the funnies."
• They riff on how they became friends—“new friends” thanks to working together—and how comedians often float through each other’s orbit due to social media.
• Discussion includes the migration of “comedy rants” from Facebook to Threads, specifically about the infamous “open mic bucket” system.
• Notable Quote:
  “It’s okay to be mad at the bucket system at the local bar open mic, but also I shouldn’t be privy to whether you should be having a bucket at the haha open mic 5pm Saturday…”
  — Jared (03:27)

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2. Cats with Dementia & Family Dynamics (04:17–07:24)

• Amy introduces her elderly cat Meeps, who has cat dementia ("sundowners")—a segway into comedic takes on aging, memory loss, and family caretaking.
• They joke about people’s tactlessness regarding old pets and the awkwardness of outsiders making comments about animal euthanasia.
• Deepens into Amy’s anxieties about aging and being childfree, especially when thinking about dementia and the lack of a safety net.
• Memorable Moment:
  Amy describes how Meeps screams whenever she gets disoriented, and draws a parallel to human aging:
  “She just starts screaming until I come look at her. And then she’s like, oh, I’m alive on earth and that’s my mom and everything’s fine.” (05:45)

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3. Comedy Career Paths & Writing for TV (08:02–16:36)

• Jared and Amy recount working together on The Golden Bachelor, where Amy was coaching contestants for the roast challenge, and Jared was the comedian/roast leader on camera.
• Amy shares the struggles and satisfaction of joke-writing for non-comedians—some contestants accepted advice, while others believed they were naturally funny.
• They touch on the lack of writing credits on TV, the joy of coaching, and how joke-writing can be both ego-boosting and completely anonymous.
• Notable Quote:
  “The women on that show that just went in fully trusting me, and they were like, you’re the expert… The best is writing for people that are super different from me.”
  — Amy (15:44)
• Discusses the satisfaction and absurdity of contributing punchlines to others' acts, sighting how big comedians like Kevin Hart use writing teams.
• Notable Quote:
  “I just made money giving someone a joke about their right ball.”
  — Jared (18:58)

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4. Comedy, Relationships, & Work-Life Balance (19:39–28:15)

• Amy shares her recent breakup and the experience of being single for the first time in over a decade as a working comic.
• Conversation pivots to the tension between stand-up schedules and relationship expectations, especially regarding phone use, travel, and "checking in."
• Both discuss how creative ideas often germinate in what partners might perceive as idle phone use; social media’s demands clash with “quality time.”
• Notable Quote:
  “I hate the checking in. I hate—because I’m such a loner that if I had a partner that was gone like three-quarters of the year, I would be so happy. But most people, I’ve learned…want to be around the one they love and spend time.”
  — Amy (25:50-26:43)

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5. The Ritual of the Road—Fast Food Fantasy (29:05–37:11)

• As a lighthearted segment, Jared and Amy build a hypothetical fast food order at Arby’s, using the online menu as a prompt.
• Both express a mischievous curiosity about limited-time specials (peach cobbler roll, Italian beef dip, King’s Hawaiian Fish Deluxe), disagreeing cheerfully on roast beef preferences.
• Memorable Moment:
  “If you don’t get the curly fries at Arby’s, you haven’t gone to Arby’s.”
  — Jared (34:07)
• Amy proudly identifies as a “dip” enthusiast:
  “I love to dip. Anything dippable is—that’s just a fun way to live your life.” (33:15)
• They imagine sharing a spread: curly fries, chicken tenders, desserts, and sauces galore—justifying all nutritional sins for the sake of road-trip camaraderie. Amy tries to convince Jared to order a green vegetable, to no avail.
• Memorable Exchange:
  Jared: “There are no vegetables at Arby’s.”
  Amy: “They’re Jewish now, Jared. It’s a special occasion! They got latkes.” (36:54–37:04)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (by Timestamp)

• Amy, on Facebook-to-Threads comedy gripes:
  “I do think maybe there’s a tinge of more loserishness now doing it, because it’s like, they already have my Facebook rants from 2012. Like these complaints are already out there…” (03:40)
• Jared, on aging and dementia:
  “You’re just an old lady walking down the middle of the street. And they’re like, we’ll just go around her, you know, like, yeah, yeah, I’m naked.” (07:04)
• Amy, on coaching non-comics for TV:
  “With the women that were…curious and really wanted to do a good job, it would get down to, like, why can’t I just say these two things? Like, you have to say a third, funniest thing, and then you’ll get a huge laugh.” (13:58)
• Jared, on seeing jokes he wrote land for others:
  “I kind of feel like I’m the janitor from Rudy. I’m, like, in the back of the room, like, clapping it up. I’m like, yeah, we did it.” (14:24)
• Amy, on single-comic freedom:
  “Now I can work any weird hours…I’m just gonna write from, like, midnight to 4am. Don’t mind me, I will have sex tomorrow or whatever.” (25:50)
• Jared, on fast food sharing:
  “We’re going to get a curly fry and a chicken tender. We’ll do the five piece and I’ll give you three. I’ll take two. And we’re going to get the cobbler as a dessert because we got to try it.” (34:07)

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Structure & Flow

• The tone is breezy, self-deprecating, and at times, delightfully absurd.
• Conversational flow moves seamlessly between inside-comedy insights, personal revelations, and playful digressions.
• Both comedians keep things honest—sometimes brutally—about family, career frustrations, and what it means to be creative and alone.
• The fast food menu segment is a fun, palate-cleansing closer packed with inside jokes and playful teasing.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Comedy scene chatter, social media changes: 00:00–03:40
• Cats, dementia, and family responsibilities: 04:17–07:24
• War stories from The Golden Bachelor/TV writing: 08:02–16:36
• Writing for stand-ups, collaboration, and crediting: 16:36–19:18
• Comedian life vs. relationships: 19:39–28:15
• Fast food favorites & Arby’s fantasy order: 29:05–37:11

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Closing

This episode is a crash course in how comics navigate work, relationships, and the reality that sometimes “making the funnies” means facing absurd questions about cat mortality, choosing sides in fast food debates, and cheering for somebody else’s punchline. For fans of comedy and fast food, or anyone curious what happens backstage (literally and metaphorically), this episode is equal parts relatable and irreverent.

Follow Amy Miller:
@amymillercomedy | amymillercomedy.com

Host:
Jared Freid — @jtrain56

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Special Chit Chat Wednesday next week!

Transcript

[A]

Chit Chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guess who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them too. Chit Chat Wednesday. I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week, too. I hope you have a nice poo. It's a ch Chat Wednesday too. Welcome to the J Train podcast. This is J Train Jared Free coming to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Wednesday is a Chit Chat Wednesday where I sit with a comedian, a friend, an expert. Today we have all three. We have a comedian, we have a friend. You know, we friendly in passing. I wouldn't say they're our best friend, but I. I like seeing them. You know, I like being around them. Um, but they're on the other coast as me and they're an expert, I would say expert in. In just writing the funnies. Like, just getting the funnies going. Amy Miller, thank you for coming on the show.

[B]

Hi, Jared. What an interesting intro.

[A]

Well, I go through. I don't prep.

[B]

Give me feedback.

[A]

I have to give quality. I can't just sit here and lie to people. This is an honest show.

[B]

Go. No, I. I love honesty as well. I would say we are new friends.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yes. That's a better way.

[B]

But have. But because we're comedians have been working around each other for a long time, but then we got to work together and then we're becoming friends.

[A]

Absolutely. And you're one of those people that I would just see online, like, floating around, and your jokes would go, like, viral, and I'd be like, this is hilarious. This is awesome. Like, you know what I mean? Like, if someone's funny, they. They become apparent to you. I think that. Right. In this Internet world.

[B]

Yeah, that's nice to hear. Yeah, no, totally, I agree. And. And also we'll see each other quite literally in passing in New York. Like, I'm going to the next spot and you're coming in, as most things go. See any of that? Yeah, the sort of, like, you know, 2012 Facebook rants. Like, I hope that wasn't exposure to me.

[A]

No, I'm. I'm not familiar. What were the rants on? Was it like comedy rants? Was it because people did. There was a moment where people get. But there was a group that got known for Facebook comedy. I think that's moved to threads in a more economical way now. Like, now. Now I see younger comics and. And it's funny. Like, younger comics are, like, complaining on threads about, like, the Bucket at an open mic. And to those who's listening, who don't understand, when you go to an open mic, you put your name in a bucket and they pull it and it was told to you that it would be random. But then some places they'd rig the bucket and like, we shouldn't see those. We shouldn't see those debates. And now because of the Internet, we do, because of threads I get on the algorithm of just comedy and I'm like, yes, it's okay to be mad at the bucket system at the local bar open mic, but also I shouldn't be privy to whether you should be having a bucket at the haha open mic 5pm Saturday. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Yes, it shouldn't be in my algorithm, but I can't hate on them because I absolutely did it. Although I will say, like now it's. There's so much more information and so it. I do think maybe there's a tinge of more loserishness now doing it, because it's like they already have my Facebook rants from 2012. Do you know what I mean? Like. Like these complaints are already out there. So it's like, it's very precious, but it is fondie. Like, I, I can't hate on it, but by the way, you're gonna hear my cat scream from time to time.

[A]

What's the name of your cat?

[B]

She has dementia. Her name is Meeps.

[A]

Can a cat have dementia?

[B]

Yes, they get sundowners, like the president and the last president.

[A]

All our presidents years old.

[B]

Jared, 19.

[A]

What's that in cat years?

[B]

I mean, it's a. It's a fucking thousand. Like, what do you mean? Like, she's so physically healthy, but she just forgets where she is sometimes, so she just stops. Start screaming. But it has to happen when I'm on podcasts.

[A]

It's like, there's no other way.

[B]

No, it's so loud and guttural too. It's not. You'll see her.

[A]

When do you get. When do you figure out that the cat has dementia? Like, how do you. How do you come to that?

[B]

Okay, I thought you were gonna ask the question people keep asking, which is, when do you make a decision that this cat is over? And I was gonna be so mad.

[A]

What a horrible person. So when are you gonna kill your cat? When are you gonna end it? When are you gonna end your 19 year relationship? The cat that you. Why would someone say such a thing?

[B]

I literally just had this at a holiday party. Like a man. I had Met minutes before was like, oh, I'm thinking about getting a kitten. And I'm like, yeah, I want to. Also, my cat's 19 and he goes, any day now, I guess. And I was like, merry Christmas. Nice to meet you, dude.

[A]

Why?

[B]

The Sundowners thing is pretty common at this age. They're not supposed to be alive anymore. So she just. Because she'll go in another room and then forget what the hell's going on. So she just starts screaming until I come look at her. And then she's like, oh, I'm alive on earth and that's my mom and everything's fine. Man, I can't believe I.

[A]

Right. I guess I've never dealt with it except with a grandma. But that does bring me back to my grandma a little bit. Like, she. My grandma would like, walk into a room and be like, you could tell. Just didn't know why she had come into the room. But, you know, I think that's the scariest of the. They say it's good. It's. It's kind of a good disease to have. Cuz at least you don't. You're not the one dealing with it. You don't remember. But I think that's the scary one.

[B]

Yeah, I think it's a scary one too. And of all the, like, future health things I think about, anytime there's some study that's like, this contributes to Alzheimer's, I, like, I take that in more than, like, any other health advice because I'm like, well, if I die young of some cancer, I can't really prevent. All right? But like, I don't want to be old with dementia because I don't have. I don't have kids. Like, who's going to, like, if you don't have anyone to take care of you, it's horrifying, right?

[A]

You're just an old lady walking down the middle of the street. And they're like, we'll just go around.

[B]

Her, you know, like, yeah, yeah, I'm naked.

[A]

Yeah, everyone just avoids eye contact. Yeah, you're screaming for your cat that died 20 years earlier.

[B]

I'm talking about the bucket of the open mic now people like, ma', am, we don't have stand up comedy anymore.

[A]

I was supposed to be fourth.

[B]

They keep bumping all the men.

[A]

Are you. Where are you from? Amy Miller. And everyone should go follow Amy on everything at Amy Miller Comedy. Her website's amymiller comedy.com. all of that stuff. I mean, we're gonna get into us working together because I have questions about such a thing. But I want to know, where are you from?

[B]

We need like a three hour brunch to even cover that whole experience. But I would love to talk about it.

[A]

I could tell you, I don't know. Did I ever tell you the story that came out? So am was writing for the Golden Bachelor when I did the, the, the, the roast. So, like, you know, Amy's feeding the, the women lines and giving them jokes and trying to help them with the roast. And I'm kind of walking around trying to help but not really helping. Amy was really like, you were probably a hero to them to give them, like, actual jokes. I'm just looking them in the eye and being like, yeah, that's pretty funny. Like, I'm like making sure that I, you know, am okay on camera and stuff. Like, I, I mean, yeah, you would.

[B]

Think I was a hero to some of those women who were good at taking advice. And those were the ones that ended up being very funny in the roast. And then there were a few that were like, I got it. People always tell me I'm funny and I'm like, okay, I can only push you so much. But I just said, jared, I was so happy it was you because, yeah, we didn't really know each other well at all, but, but they didn't tell us, the two joke writers, who it was going to be. So they just said, a famous comedian or whatever. And I'm like, oh, if this is some motherfucker I hate, I'm going to have such a bad day. But it could also be like someone amazing. And then when, when you showed up, I was like, thank fucking Christ you.

[A]

Were like, you said famous. You know, like, it's like, what, what.

[B]

Happened did throw me off, right?

[A]

A very famous comedian is showing up. Then I show up with a cheeseburger in my hand. Me, you know, no, I had the best time. You made it so easy. I, I, and I wanted to ask you about that because, well, I was wondering, you, you see, where are you from originally?

[B]

I'm from, I'm from Oakland. I'm from the East Bay.

[A]

So that's what I thought. I was like, you must be a west coaster to be a C an LA comic. Because I feel like you would have been in New York. Like, I felt like you, you know, you, you're a comedian. You're, you like to write. You like, to, you, you, you tell good jokes. I'm like, that's a new. But also the Bay Area is also an area where like, comics, you Know, like la. I have this like, distrust of like what the LA scene is. But you've been there.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I initially I've had this balance of New York where I live there for a little bit and then I just go out as many times as I can every year. And I do feel more at ease there. It is a better, like, comedy place for me, definitely. But I have nieces and a nephew and all my family's here and my mom's getting old and so I just didn't want to be that far away from my family. And then, you know, other things happened. Relationships, another, another relationship or whatever, whatever. And then I just kind of go out there a lot. But I mean, there's plenty of people in New York who are still just like, where, where are you at? You here, you're there, like, which is fine. So I still get like, I, I, I'm kind of part of that scene, you know, Like, I, like, I work the clubs and stuff, but, but yeah, I just had been here and then now I just love my apartment so much and it's rent controlled and I'm like, maybe I'll still go, I'll go when I'm 50 and people will be.

[A]

Like, okay, that is kind of a thing.

[B]

I already have Jessica Kirsten.

[A]

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[B]

Right?

[A]

It's got to be something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You. So you wrote for you were helping with the golden batch. But you write a lot for tv, right?

[B]

No, I wish I did. Like, that. That day was so fun. And then. No, because I. Because I messaged you, remember? Because they left me out of the credits and I was, like, so heartbroken because I was, like, crazy. I want my family to see this. It is so much fun, and I want to do it all the time, but I have not gotten to do it that many times, and that bums me out. But, like, that was, like, such a fun thing to do, you know, I want to be girl Mike Lawrence, you know, not in the mean roasts, but, like. But that situation where it was just like, one day, that's fucking crazy. And you just have to turn out as many jokes as possible. But the coaching part was honestly, like, more fun for me. Like, just literally, okay, this is my cat's asshole. Okay, you can't. Yeah, that's just not gonna work.

[A]

Well, good thing we do have one appearance by a cat's asshole every episode. So I'm just happy you, you know, abided by the rules of the J Train podcast. We always tend.

[B]

With the women that were, like, curious and really wanted to do a good job. I mean, it got. It would get down to, like, you know, I'm, like, telling them about the rule of threes. Like. Like, they'd be like, why can't I just say these two things? And then I'm like, I don't know, but you just have to say a third funniest thing, and then you'll get a huge laugh. And that was so much fun for me. Like, just, like, just the coaching. I love writing for other people, and I've done it, like, from time to.

[A]

Time, but I didn't think I would like it as much as I did. Like, that's what I was going to ask you about. Like. Like, when you do a joke for someone and you go and you see it work for them, I get as much enjoyment out of that as I do. Like, my joke or, you know, like, I. When I see that work, I go, oh, I get that same, like, satisfactory. I. I kind of feel like I'm like the janitor from Rudy. I'm, like, in the back of the room, like, clapping it up. I'm like, yeah, we did it. Like, and then when I have someone, right? Like, when I have someone give me a note, I come off stage and I go, that worked. It happened. Like, if I give a note to, like, an opener, if someone on the. Comes on the road, I'm like, hey, I had an idea. Like, I. It is interesting. You know, you're talking about coaching the women, like on the Golden Bachelor for this roast. They don't. Like. I, I think when, when the person says, like, no, I'm pretty funny. Like, they just don't get it, like, how much some of this is math. Like, you even, like, there's part. I'm sure you have jokes where you like, you knew it right away. Like you, you dreamt it up. And then you were like, this will work, you know, and then people are like, does it matter what the room is? Like, is like, no, there's a. This joke will work on every person that ever I ever come across. And like, I don't think people like to hear that.

[B]

No, no. And it. And, and like, yeah, the women on that show that just went in, like, fully trusting me, and they were like, you're. You're the expert. You know, a couple of them were like, well, I've never heard of you, so like, how do I know you're good at this? And I'm like, well, I do it every night and you've never done it. But yeah, the best is writing for people that are super different from me, which obviously all those ladies work because they're like rich 70 year olds or whatever, but I've written for a couple comics, like, stand up for a couple comics that I are, you know, were NDA'd that are like so different from me. Like.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And. And the fun part is you're not burning material because you're like, well, I could never say that, you know? Well, cuz a puppet saying it or whatever. For example, when they ask you to help them write. Example, right.

[A]

As an example. Well, when they ask you to write for them for standup. Like, I've never had that happen. Like when, when someone's like, hey, can you help me out? Like, do you see that person go, oh, like it all makes sense now. Or are you like, are they like doing so much at that time that they like, you can understand why they needed the help? Like, I can understand. Like, I remember I saw Kevin Hart. I have no NDA with Kevin Hart, but I saw him come into Stand Up New York when I was first starting, and he came in with like three guys and he got on stage.

[B]

Cowboys.

[A]

Is that who it was?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, he's always been very open about having writers, which I love. And I've seen him do the same at like the old stand right, where there's just three guys in the back and he's trying stuff, but he credits them. And he's always been out about it, which I love.

[A]

I wouldn't even, like. Like, to me, if I was to have a writer help me, it would be more just like someone to, like, spitball with. It wouldn't even be like. I'd be like, yeah, that's their line. But I would be like. It would be like, we came to that together. You know what I mean? Like, I think. I think that would be, like, the situation I'd be looking. Is it like that, or is someone just, like, give me 50 jokes? I'm, you know, I'm the puppet.

[B]

I've done. Yeah, I've done both. I've been in a position where I'm opening for someone and then we're. Yeah, we're kind of. See, you know, I'm watching the hour grow and we're working on it more together, but I am being compensated for it and, like, credited ultimately. But then there are people that just. Yeah, they hire a team and they go give me this many jokes and for this much money. And then. And then you see which ones of your jokes got pulled out. But also, you know, some of these people that I can't name are, like, very good at another specific thing. And then you still see so much of them in it. So it's like, even though maybe I wrote the sort of text of the joke, it's like, well, you turned that into something I never could have. But again, I'm not burning any material making that joke because I would never make it. And it's so fun watching it work. Like, especially, like a special recording, you know, where you're like, oh, that just crushed, right? And it's so stupid.

[A]

It is. It is so stupid. Like, it's like, even just, like, the idea of, like, this being an industry, you're like, I just, you know, made money giving someone a joke about their right ball. And you're like, yeah, that.

[B]

Just, like, you knew that one was mine.

[A]

Right? I. Amy Miller is known for her right ball humor and. And does a good job with it. Yeah, well, so I wanted to play a game with you. Okay. And I want everyone to go follow Amy at Amy Miller Comedy. What do you. Are you. Are you in Oakland right now or are you in.

[B]

No, I live in la. I've been in la.

[A]

I know you're on, but you were home with your. You were home with your parents or your mom last week.

[B]

Yes, for the listeners we were going to recruit last week, but I was with my Mom. But she. But. And it's like, I could have done it, but maybe you'll relate to this, Jared. But it was like, the promise of I'll be quiet is just such an empty fucking promise. Like, oh, my God, I just knew it would be dogs barking, like, slamming doors. She would blend something for some reason.

[A]

Like, it is absolutely insane how little a mom, specifically my mom, understands. Like, hey, it's work time. Like, hey, there's like a thought. There's like, brain power. And, you know, I have to zone in a little bit. I remember I was living with my ex and she had to, like, work like, nine to five, like, while staying, you know, with us in Florida during COVID And my mom, like, couldn't understand that. Like, couldn't understand. Like, so you just sit at your computer the whole day. And I'm like, that's what some people do. Like, I don't. But some people, like, knee. And like, the idea of, like, hey, this hour, I just need it set aside. My mom would, like, the blender's so funny. Like, wait, I'm making my banana bread and you're like, at 3pm on a Tuesday.

[B]

Well, you're busy. What was I supposed to do? I gotta do something. And it's not. And you. You. I. I can't even take it personally because it's not like, oh, it's. There's no respect for my job because it's so nebulous and comedy so dumb. It's my sisters as well, who have real jobs. And one of my sisters will, like, teach children, like, online, you know, and tutor. And it's like, there's not. She's just banging on the door, like, what time are you done?

[A]

It's crazy, honestly. My parents are rushing me. Like, I do feel it. Rushing me to then sit with me and stare at me and talk about, when are you leaving? Like, it's like, that's the conversation.

[B]

And you have to be quiet during the show. That's my mom. The most noise when anyone's working. And then when it's quality time, it's be quiet. I'm listening to my show that I've seen. Oh, and it's a DVD of the Last Ship. You know what I mean? It's like season four of a show nobody watched.

[A]

Right. And your mom is a big fan of the Match.

[B]

I'll say. I wouldn't say she's a fan. No. They were just excited that I was gonna have, like, a TV credit.

[A]

But then that's the most annoying thing in the World.

[B]

Yeah, it's fine. They worked it out. I think they put it in a later episode, but they never told me which one. So I still haven't seen it. But it's fine. It happened. You were there. This is my proof. I'll send this to her.

[A]

Please send this to her. I always say Amy was on the show. She did a fantastic job. I mean, I have a story from that day. Like, I just, like, I had the most fun that day taping it and being there. Like, for me, it was like going to see, like, Universal Studios, like, where the movies got made. Like, like someone visiting the Jaws set. Like, they're like, excited in the same way that, like, I was excited to see the Dome of the Undatables and where they, like, do like the live.

[B]

Event like that and see the roses. Yeah, it's really bad. She's doing the big one. Sorry.

[A]

This is the big one.

[B]

This is maximum.

[A]

That's when you know the cat is riddled with dementia. When you have names for different freakouts.

[B]

Well, she can't hear, so there's no way to stop it without, like, going to get her. But it should be over any second episode.

[A]

Do you have her on a leash?

[B]

No, she's around the house. When you just went outside, she got some sun. She's like.

[A]

Are you dating anybody?

[B]

No, no, no, not right now. We just. We had. We just had a big breakup. I don't know why I'm doing this motion.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know why you threw.

[B]

Them away out the door. No, I mean, they went. They being a boyfriend and two other pets. They. Yes, they moved out. They went back to the Midwest.

[A]

How long were you guys together?

[B]

Three and a half years. And it's been since September. So not.

[A]

I'm sorry to hear.

[B]

So no. Dating. When you said the word dating, I felt like, nauseous.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Well, Jared, like, I had. I had two long term relationships that were. There wasn't a ton of time between. So this is like the first time in, you know, over a decade of being a comedian that I've been single and just able to, like, focus on my work being a comedian. So it's really nice. But it's also like, now I feel like I'm 70 years old, but it's okay.

[A]

Well, what's the difference of being a comedian? Like, in a single way? Like, do you feel like you have more time? Are you, like, looking at your phone more? Are you like. Because, like, I always think, like, being single, like, I'm like, like, I'll do a lot of my. This is weird to admit, but, like, I feel like sometimes I'm dating, you know, the phone in a way where like, even, like a joke I would make to a girlfriend is something I make to TikTok. Like, I just did a rant about, like, even going jotting.

[B]

Yeah. Even just, like, jotting down a joke. Sometimes I don't. I would feel very guilty about, like, my phone usage. And I'm not even, like, I don't apply myself on social media as much as I should. I've sort of just started to. Because it is hard in a relationship because it's just like, oh, okay, we're hanging out and you're on your phone. And I get that. And I don't like to be doing it anyway. But even just like, oh, we're watching a movie. I just had a joke idea. I need to write this down. It's like very, like, I'm like, I'm not texting. I'm doing my job, you know?

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

It's just different. And now. And just touring and. Yeah, now I can work any weird hours. I'm very much a night owl. So, you know, it's hard if your partner's in the bed and you're like, I'm just gonna write from like midnight to 4am or whatever. Like, don't mind me, I will have sex tomorrow. Or whatever. Like, I can. And then going on the road, like, you know, there's no checking in to be done. Which is so nice. I hate, I'm sorry, I hate the checking in. I hate because I'm such a loner that if I had a partner that was gone like three quarters of the year, I would be so happy. But most people, I've learned. It took me a long time to learn this. Most people want to be around the one they love and spend time.

[A]

Maybe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I, I, the, the answer is in the middle somewhere. Like, I, I, I hear what you're saying, and it's like, I like being alone, but I want someone at my every beck and call. Like, I, I.

[B]

You're a diva. Yeah. I want, like, I want to be.

[A]

Treated like Whitney Houston. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I like, you know, checking in throughout the day, sending pictures of what I'm doing, texting, like a big texter. You know what I mean? But the call check, like, obligatory call check in, like, oh, I just don't miss it. And I found myself also in both relationships, like, taking time off the road. No, I need money. We need money to live. Well, that's just too long to be gone. Right.

[A]

I mean, that person, I mean, it sounds like from that angle, like, they're, they weren't your match, you know, like as crazy. No, like, honestly, like, they're. I'd rather be in a relationship where I can do those things than. Or I'd rather not be in a relationship than be in a relationship where someone's like, you're on your phone. It's like you don't get it. Like, you're here. We're just around. We're here to breathe next to each other.

[B]

Yeah. And I wish that wasn't any part of the job. And I don't want to always be on my phone either. But like, but like, but. And it's not just like social media. It's like we, our comedians, we have a lot of friends. We just.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's not a brag. Right. I mean, I assume you have a lot of friends. What if you don't?

[A]

You're like, I have no friends.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

I thought I did a half hour on how we're kind of friends. Maybe friends. I kind of ruined my friends before. Okay, we're friends. I come to Florida. I got our bedroom ready for you. You can hang out. We're by the beach. I was thinking you. I. I kind of assumed you'd be a great road hang. Like, I feel like you'd be like a great, like, based on the now what I'm hearing, love going on the road with a loaner because you don't feel bad being like, see you, like, you do your thing. See, at the show, I just felt like if you and I went on the road, we would go to Arby's and I sent you the Arby's menu.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

You and I want you to go to the link I sent you. We're going to. This is how I get to know people. I see what they would do on a menu. Okay, So I want you to go to this link. It's going to open up with segments and I want to know where we're going to start with. Where does your brain go with these menu and I. I'll read it to the audience at home in front of us. We have meals, limited time offers. Slow roasted beef burgers, crispy juicy chicken, crafted sandwiches, sides and snacks, desserts, beverages. Kids menu value. Meals value menu. So I would like to know where you would go first. You and I are going to Arby's together. Are we making deals? Are you going on your own journey? How do you see this menu? And where do you want to go with it?

[B]

Okay. I am always tempted by a limited time. Like, I don't know, you know, it's. It's just. It's enticing. It's like, what am I gonna miss, you know, in the spring if I don't have this Arby's item now? So I'm gonna check that out first. But. But sorry to say, Jared, I'm not a big roast beef fan, so this menu particularly, I'm gonna have to. I'm probably going burger or chicken, But, I mean.

[A]

Can I stop you for a second?

[B]

It's always gonna be my first stop. Seasonal. Yeah.

[A]

Can I stop you for a second? It would be more weird for you to say I am a huge roast beef person.

[B]

It's just some people are.

[A]

I. I am. But, like, I know I should be a little bit shameful of that. I can't go around giving myself the roast beef brand. I. I think you're a beefy boy. I'm a beefy boy who likes a beefy sandwich. I love. I love a beef and cheddar, but it's like one of those things that, like, you learn about me as you get to know me. I agree with you. When I see limited time, I gotta know. I just gotta know what's going on.

[B]

I already clipped on it. Is that bad?

[A]

No. Please tell us where you're going. On the limit. So your brain went there?

[B]

Yeah. My excitement peaked for a peach cobbler roll. What? I didn't know Arby's had this.

[A]

I mean, this is. This is where we learn. You know, Arby's is a treat when the menu page literally has a warning that 2,000 calories is a normal human intake for a day, the menu literally says. Okay, so let me read through what they have on the limited time. Italian beef dip meal. King's Hawaiian Fish Deluxe Crispy fish sandwich meal. Ham and Swiss melt, chicken cordon bleu Deluxe burger. Deluxe Double deluxe burger. Big cheesy. Oh, no, I'm. I'm sorry. It took me to another part of the menu.

[B]

Just limited time. Is that line right?

[A]

No, no, no, you're right. Peach cobbler roll, Italian beef dip, the King's Hawaiian Fish Deluxe crispy fish sandwich, and an apple pie shake. What do you. I'm getting the Italian beef dip because it keeps me in the army world, but it also lets me put a toe in a adventurous water. The peach cobbler roll. I just like that. It's a roll. It's like a what? I. I love the idea that they're doing something. I know, but it's handheld. In, in like it's a, like it's a. At a Chinese restaurant you'd get a.

[B]

An egg roll.

[A]

It looks like an egg roll, but peach cob.

[B]

I love to dip. I love to dip. Anything dippable is. That's just a fun way to live your life. It's two pieces. It's a rolled peach cobbler. I've never heard of this. I'm. I'm. I'm probably like maybe getting the peach cobbler roll instead of fries, but I'm definitely getting the King's Hawaiian Fish Deluxe because I do love a crispy fish sandwich at a fast food place. And it's on the King's Hawaiian Roll. And I'm just not going to be dipping into any beef of any kind. Episode Arby.

[A]

Okay, so I have a bite of.

[B]

Yours and I'll have a bite of.

[A]

Yours and I will have a bite of your King Fish Deluxe. And then we, we would get the cobbler. And then. I'm just telling you right now, if you don't get the curly fries at Arby's, you haven't gone to Arby's.

[B]

I think you're right because of the sauce. That's really. Where Arby's does got me is I think, well, if you want to know if I'm back against the wall, I have to go to an Arby's. And it's the only choice. I am getting the curly fries with dipping sauces. But they have like these buffalo chicken sliders and that's usually what I end up.

[A]

They also have a great chicken. They also have a great chicken tender. So I think this is the order that we would get if we sat down off the road. We're going to a show. You're going to get the crispy fish on the Hawaiian roll. I'm going to get the Italian beef dip. We're going to get a curly fry and a chicken tender. We'll do the five piece and I'll give you three. I'll take two. And we're going to get the, the cobbler. The. As a dessert because we got to try it.

[B]

But we need all the sauces.

[A]

Every sauce.

[B]

Ketchup ranch. I love to dip, Jerry.

[A]

And. And Arby's has a sauce like that is a sauce place. It's a sauce forward place. It is.

[B]

Not so excited about dipping. I lost my head.

[A]

I mean, they do have a. Here's the thing I'll say about Arby's they're doing different things. They have a two piece chicken tender that is unheard of.

[B]

Just two. It's a snack, right? Honestly, it's like for an Italian beef guy like you who's already getting a big sandwich and then you just want two tenders.

[A]

I totally agree. I'm looking at their sides and snacks. I would run a train on this sides and snacks menu. Look what they're doing. Two piece chicken tender potato cakes. They're doing latkes, curly fries.

[B]

Crumble fries are making latkes.

[A]

They went Jewish on us. And they have a mozzarella stick and a jalapeno bite. I would get every. Honestly, every side and snack. If I walked up to an Arby's, I would say every side and snack. And then one beef and cheddar done. And I'd walk away like a. Like, like, like a blackjack dealer. I'd clap.

[B]

The king of the sides and snacks. With every sauce all. Every sauce can be and should be crammed into a sauce.

[A]

Everything beautiful.

[B]

And I'll say, I'm not gonna judge you on any of these outings, but I will find a green vegetable of some kind on the menu. I'm so sorry.

[A]

Okay, easy, easy. We're on the road. It's a special occasion. We went. We went to Arby's. There are no vegetables at Arby's.

[B]

They're Jewish now. Amy. It's a special occasion. They got latkes. They got expensive accent for me to do.

[A]

They got curly fries that look like peas. Amy Miller. Everyone go follow Amy at Amy Miller Comedy. Go, go, go. She has. She's so funny. I love watching her when she's at the Cellar. So hilarious. At Amy Miller Comedy. And she has. You have some great clips up there. I hate bringing up the first clips that are pinned. Like, I'm not gonna like. No, but you pin them so they're. They're great bits. But everyone should just go watch those bits. They're so funny. But I hate, like, when I have someone on this podcast, I don't want to, like, go. And you did this the other day and it's like the one pin clip. Pin clips are fantastic. They're such good bits. So funny. Everyone go follow and go watch Amy on stage. I'm Jared Freed. Every Wednesday, Chitchat Wednesday, back next week, boom.