The JTrain Podcast

Host: Jared Freid
Episode: "He Never Texts Between Dates! Help!" – MONDAY MAILBAG
Date: October 20, 2025

Episode Overview

This classic Mailbag Monday finds Jared Freid answering three listener emails about etiquette, expectations, and heartbreak in modern relationships. Taping from Delray Beach, Florida, Jared brings his signature candid humor and incisive empathy as he dissects dilemmas involving wedding gifts, dating someone recently divorced, and a new relationship's lack of texting between dates. If you crave honest, unfiltered takes on relationship norms and the up-and-downs of dating, this is vintage JTrain.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Friendship & Wedding Gift: Navigating “Reciprocity Math”

[05:46 - 27:30]

• The Scenario: A listener describes a close friendship with a detailed account of mutual bridesmaid duties, gifting, and feeling slighted not receiving a wedding gift in return.
• Jared's Analysis:
  • Immediately notes the email’s detailed “friendship resume” as a hint that money/gifts are at the center of the issue.

    "Women, really...the amount of explanation and description that goes into friendships with women." (06:41)

  • Digs into the psychology: Some seek confirmation that their “good guy” or “good friend” actions should entitle them to equitable treatment.
  • Jared observes the listener wants validation for feeling slighted, despite repeated claims of not “expecting a gift.”
• Advice:
  • Be honest about expectations—don’t sugarcoat disappointment.
  • Gifting is ultimately about the act itself, not an insurance policy for reciprocity.
  • “One can be right and sound insane.” Over-fixate on fairness, and you risk missing the broader value of the friendship.
  • On giving a baby shower gift to this friend (who slighted the listener at the wedding):

    “I give the gift. If it’s not going to come in the way of me paying rent or eating that month, it is the right thing to do and it’s the thing I like to do.” (27:17)

• Memorable Moment:
  Jared’s playful riff on the listener wanting to barge into their friend’s home, wedding dress akimbo, demanding, “Where’s my money, bitch?” (21:01)

2. Dating and Fizzling After “The Reveal”

[31:50 - 49:11]

• The Scenario: A listener shares her experience connecting with a high school acquaintance during his divorce, enjoying a strong, quick connection—until things cool off dramatically after she sets a physical boundary.
• Jared’s Analysis:
  • Familiarity through hometown ties can accelerate perceived intimacy (“You know the same streets, same teachers. Things move quicker—and it can be deceiving.” 34:29)
  • Declaring a boundary (“I want to wait before sex”) was the right move and acted as a natural reveal of intentions.
• Advice:
  • The “reveal” (stating what you want/believe) lets you gauge a prospective partner’s true intentions.

    “That is a mountain I’m not willing to climb right now, is what he said.” (41:06)

  • Don’t attach meaning to his social media posts about heartbreak or his ongoing divorce—focus on how he treats you.
  • Lack of reciprocity/effort after your “reveal” means he’s not the right match.
  • Agency in closure:

    “Right now it feels like I’m living in a house where the door is unlocked and you might walk in at any time. I need to establish an ending to let you know that I really wanted something and that I can find that with someone else.” (48:32)

• Memorable Quote:
  “Potential does nothing.” (47:53)

3. He Never Texts Between Dates! – Modern Communication Disconnect

[59:43 - 1:14:04]

• The Scenario: The listener has had six dates with a seemingly emotionally available “PhD physicist” who is invested in-person but “literally never texts” between dates (except to plan the next).
• Jared’s Analysis:
  • Consistency is key: He has never texted between dates, so this isn’t a case of declining interest but of communication style.
  • The listener brings up their son bonding (remotely) with the guy—raising the stakes, since interacting with a kid signals seriousness.
  • “You’re a texter; he’s not.” Don’t try to change someone into what you want; express your needs, but don’t expect oatmeal from cereal.
• Advice:
  • Be proactive: Text if you want to connect. If you feel let down by specific gaps in communication, voice that honestly.

    "Speak up, bitch! Say something. You got something to say? Text it." (1:11:10)

  • Interpret his actions, not just words—he consistently follows through on plans and shares genuine interest in your life.
  • If non-initiating texts creates a mismatch, it’s okay to acknowledge the difference.
• Memorable Moment:
  Jared’s analogy about communication differences:

  “I don’t go to the store, buy some cereal, and ask it to be oatmeal. If I did, my cereal would be soggy and it would taste like shit.” (1:12:40)

Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• "We all know what we’re doing when you say something a certain way." — Jared, [01:14]
• “Own it. Own it. That’s a lot of my issue—is this, like...walk through the door and say: Where’s my f***ing money, bitch?” — Jared, [21:01]
• “One can be right and sound insane.” — Jared, [27:12]
• “You did what I call the reveal...letting someone know how you stand and then seeing how they react.” — Jared, [39:50]
• “Potential does nothing.” — Jared, [47:53]
• “Speak up, bitch! Say something. You got something to say? Text it.” — Jared, [1:11:10]
• "I don’t go to the store, buy some cereal, and ask it to be oatmeal. If I did, my cereal would be soggy and it would taste like shit." — Jared, [1:12:40]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Mailbag Introduction & Show Banter: [00:00 – 05:46]
• Wedding Gift/Friendship Dilemma: [05:46 – 27:30]
• Divorced Guy & The Reveal: [31:50 – 49:11]
• He Never Texts Between Dates: [59:43 – 1:14:04]

Episode Tone & Style

Jared is warm, direct, slightly irreverent, and always leans into the “just honest” persona. He teases his listeners, but always with a wink, prodding them toward self-awareness and honest confrontation with what they want. He blends empathy and blunt humor, making listeners feel seen—even as he challenges their assumptions.

Summary Takeaways

• **With gifting/favors, do what feels right for you—not what scores points.
• Physical/emotional boundaries are healthy; seeing how others react to them gives clarity.
• Communication mismatches can be navigated if acknowledged; consistent action matters more than texting style.

Above all, Jared’s message: Say what you need, do what feels right, and don’t lose your cool trying to control other people’s behavior.