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It's a mailbag. Munder. You got problems there? I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag Monday. Hello, and welcome to the J Train podcast. Is J Train Jared Freed coming alive from Delray Beach, Florida? That's right. Every Monday is a mailbag Monday, where we take your emails and we give advice. I got three emails in front of me. We'll get right to it. I'm taping this early morning a week before. You're getting it. I'm taping it Monday, 8:30am I've been really into the early morning gin classes here in Delray. I. I just. I wake up with the sun. That's such a douchey beach guy thing to say. Yeah, I just love waking up with the sun and checking out the rip curl, man. If you want to support this show, there's a couple ways to do it. Let me just review. Listen, if you're new here, I have three emails from listeners. They are advice emails. You can write in about anything you'd like. Friends, family, relationships, just. Maybe even just like off the top of your head. You're like, I wonder what J Train thinks about this. I'm down for that. We got into such a huge debate on the UF podcast, and I'm not sure when it comes up, but I've been asking everyone about kissing parents on the lips. It's getting weird. Yeah, it's getting weird. And that doesn't explain it enough that I'm making it weirder by via my explanation. That's one of those things. We all know what we're doing when you say something a certain way. I got so angry the other day at A and A thread. I hate threads. I think threads and Twitter, they're all just crazy. I mean, I'm on there. I'm. I'm tweeting and I'm threading. So I'll get to that in ticked off Tuesday. Just the way we write things and all that stuff. I'm. I'm off the rails. I'm sorry. I got a coffee in my hand. I'm ready to do this podcast. I got three emails in front of me. How do you support the show? You can email us. And that's a. That's a huge support. That's. That's a beautiful way to get involved with the show. Be a part of it. Everything's anonymous. I don't reveal anything. I don't reveal more than you reveal. You can like the Instagram page at J Train Podcast. That's a great way to get in touch with us. You can DM us there or jtrain podcastmail.com or the Patreon. Patreon's a big part of what keeps this going. So it's five bucks a month. You get coffee with J Train every Friday, which is a very personal account of what's going on in my life. If you go back two episodes now, it'll be about making a home purchase and a more permanent move to Delray Beach. So that's what they call a tease in the business. Again, I know what I'm doing with my language. You can also share, let people know about this show. There might be some changes coming. We. Again, I'm. I'm teasing, but nothing soon. Nothing soon. And yeah, so. And come to a show and the YouTube. I just said 7,000 things. You're not. That's not going to be helpful. I. This weekend, I am going to be in Washington, dc. Now, I will say this. If you want to go down Memory Lane, Washington, D.C. is like the first city that really like. I did like a road show, so it's always a blast to go back there. The audiences are always great and smart and fun. Come, come, come. We're trying to fill a pretty big theater. I took a shot. I'd been doing this other place that I didn't really. It was. Didn't ever felt like a comedy show. It felt like I was doing a town hall, and it just wasn't like a. It was a fine venue. But from what I heard, the Warner Theater is, like, the spot. Every comic loves it. I'm excited to do it. Let's get into the emails. Jtrain, podcastmail.com I read these with you. So if you're new here, I don't get into these before. Jared, you don't prepare well, I prepare physically, mentally, you know, strategically. I just needed a third Ly word. All right, Ready, Jared? Love the pod. My husband and I had a great time at your show last year. Well, thank you. That's what it's about. You and your husband, you and your friends, you and your family. I listen. I. I entertain all comers, even while they're coming. Yeah, I didn't need to make that joke. You might be listening early in the morning. You're like, why, Jared? Why, Jared? My mic even fell while I said it. The mic even tried to run away from my gross jizz joke. That wasn't necessary. The mic. Little two feet on the mic. That's my snow snoring sound. I tried to do, like a running sound. All right, let's do. I have a close friend who, although we don't see each other much, always have enjoyed the time we do spend together. I have friends like that, too. I can jump right in. The water is warm with certain people. She got married a few months before I did. We were both each other's bridesmaids. I went to her destination. Bachelorette. So you're pretty close. I would say you're pretty close. Each other's bridesmaids. Women. Really? Like, I would say women. You women. I'm not trying to. These women these days. No, I'm just saying it is unrelatable to me. The amount of explanation and description that goes into friendships with women. I think that means they're more deep. I think there's good that comes with the bad. You know, bad. I don't know if it's bad. I'm just saying, like, for you to have to say, like, if you just said, you know, we don't see each other often, but maybe you're setting up an email and trying to make yourself look good. But we were both each other's bridesmaids. Like, that's a close friend. I went to her destination. Bachelorette. Gave a bridal shower gift from the registry. I don't know. Hold on. I don't know. Sometimes these emails are clues. What are you setting up here? What'd you do to this person? Because gave a bridal shower gift from the registry. Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do. That's kind of like the. The offset. That's the default purchase. The bridesmaid's dress. Yeah. Well, if you're bridesmaid, I would assume you purchase the dress. What do you do? What'd you do to this person? This is one of those where they're setting themselves up so much that there is a debate to be had. I can't wait for this email. And gave a check for their wedding gift. They did deposit. Okay, well, that might tell me something. Gave a check for the wedding gift, and they put in parentheses that they did deposit. Something happened. I'm going to bet wedding got canceled. Where's my money? That's my bet. All right. Meanwhile, I did not have a bridal shower. Here we go. Someone feels like they. Okay, I'm changing my. My guess when you write, meanwhile, I did not have a bridal shower. I'm thinking, like, this is all marketing again, to go back to my weird rant in the beginning. We. We do language in a. And we. We don't we none. Nobody's stupid. Remember that. Nobody's stupid. Because I did not have a Poor old me. Didn't have a bridal shower. So this is a. An uneven, uneven friendship. Monetarily, I'm going to say she's. She's looking for more money out of her friend. She wants to do something. I don't know, there's something. Money wise. Meanwhile, did not have a bridal shower. Had a local bachelorette that she could only stop by for due to her schedule. So no spend for her. Again, money. And I gifted bridesmaids dresses to my wedding party. Wow. What a gesture that is. I love that. So that they wouldn't have to spend money on it. Money seems to be very important to you, Ms. Emailer. But that's okay. I. I'm. I'm just trying to zone in on what, what we're doing here. I. And I'm taking my time. I'm gnawing on this bone I gifted. And I think gifting the bridesmaids dresses. I don't know how you did it. If it's like, here's the dress I thought you'd look good in. That's not really a gesture as much as it's something doing that you're serving yourself because you have a vision. If it's, here's $250 each to get the dress of your dreams, I think that's a wonderful thing. And here's the palette with which you can kind of dance in. I think that's a nice thing. So, again, it's vague enough that it could be. It could be horrific. But. But. Okay, a few weeks before my wedding, she made a comment to me that she really hasn't spent much money on my wedding. Okay? So she's even noticing that you. And you probably puffed up your chest. You're like, that's right. I'm not taking advantage of anyone. And you're proud of that. You're proud of that. Let's admit you take a little satisfaction in the idea that your wedding was the one where people. Oh, my God. I didn't have to spend a dime. All these other weddings, all the money, all the spending. Everyone thinks they're the queen. Me, I'm the people's. I'm the people's queen. That's what you're saying. You're going, I'm a good dictator. Well, to my surprise, I did not receive a wedding gift from her. Okay? I don't expect gifts from anyone. Well, yes, you do. Yeah, well, it's not that you expect. You do you notice if you didn't expect it, you would go, oh, well, what is this? You wouldn't go, where's my money? But in this case, expected around the amount I gifted a check for her wedding. Since my wedding was just a few months after hers. You need to stop talking the way you're talking. I don't expect it. You do. It's okay. I'm surprised this bitch didn't give me a gift and my wedding was, like, within a few months of hers. It's not like she doesn't remember the gift I got her. Let's own it. Own it. That's a lot of my issue is this, like. Well, because I could see what you were doing right off the, off the, off the bat, right from the beginning. You're setting this up for, like, us to have to agree with you, but you're kind of dancing. Walk through the door and say, where's my. Where's my fucking money, bitch? Okay, I'll go back for. I'll go back. Well, to my surprise, where's my fucking money? But can you imagine? She runs in the house in a brat in a, in a, in a wedding dress. Where the fuck is my money? Hair everywhere. Much? Well, to my surprise, I did not receive a wedding gift from her. I don't expect gifts from anyone. Yes, you do. But in this case, expected around the amount I gifted in check. But in this case, expected around the amount I gifted in check for her wedding, since my wedding was just a few months after hers. No, no, stop that. Just stop that. I didn't get a gift from her, and mine was just a few months ago. It's not like she doesn't know. I gave her. How could she forget? But I was especially surprised because of the comments she made. I appreciate her friendship more than any gift. Stat. Stop this. This is my issue. You can be a good person while also saying, this is shocking. This. This. I appreciate her friendship more than any gift. No, fuck off. You are thinking that differently of this friend because they're not acting within the realms of polite society. So I never address this. I appreciate her friendship more than any gift, so I never address this. I, I. Again, the way you're writing this email is annoying me. I like, I'm with you. It's. It's weird. You didn't get a gift. Fast forward to now. We are both expecting our first babies. Congratulations. And her baby shower is a month before mine. Ooh. So the tables have turned. Now it's your turn to Give the gift first. Or I guess you gave the gift first before and now you're not sure if you're going to get backsies. Should I buy a small gift from the registry to give something, quote, unquote? What would you do? What would you. What would you the self proclaimed best baby shower gifter. Oh, I don't know if I've said that. Okay. All right, all right. Fast forward to now. We were both expecting our first babies and her baby showers a month before mine. Should I buy a small gift from the registry to, quote, unquote, give something? What would you, the self proclaimed best baby shower gifter, do? Thank you for sharing your unfiltered wisdom. An undergifted overthinker. Well, I really love this email because it's really given me a chance to wax on and give you some shit. But also you present quite a conundrum that I appreciate. You've called me out as my as. I don't know if I've said I'm the best baby gifter. I am on it. And you know why? You know why I wasn't There is some. Let me, let me admit there are friends out there who haven't received a gift from me for their wedding. I. Cause I, I walk in, here's what I end up doing like an idiot. What here's my, this is my excuse that if you've known me a long time, you roll your eyes at me. This is kind of what I would do is make the mistake and then backtrack to well, if it was done a certain way, I would have never made this mistake to begin with. I'm admitting to this trait. But none of these weddings may and I can feel people gonna disagree with me right away. None of these weddings make it easy to find that registry. They don't at all. They don't make it easy to find their wedding website. I have googled for more wedding websites than I can even count and it's not on the way on the card because they don't like how it looks on the card. Maybe that's different now, but I would say I it is not for at the forefront I was I think I was at a wedding recently. I still got to give him a gift. For some reason a baby's a little easier for me. It just hits me right. It just hits my eyeliner because I can also I've set it up where I call Bliss Monogram. If you look up Bliss on Google, that's who I use. I follow them on Instagram. They I Call Diane. I'm like, hey, here's the address. Here's the baby's initials. Here's what I want on the card. Here's how much I want to spend. So that's my self proclaimed baby shower. But let me go back to why I give the gift. I don't give a gift to get a gift. I give the gift because also, I gotta say, the wedding gift doesn't really give me anything. The wedding gift doesn't make me happy. I barely see whatever I gave to the registry or the money. It kind of just feels like I'm paying to go when the baby has the gift. I get this like, happiness when I see the baby in the blanket. Juliet Lippman just sent me a picture of her baby in the blanket going, that's the ba. You know, that's the blanket you got me. Because I, I didn't. Juliet's where this all started with the baby gift stuff where she said, look at, you know, sent me a picture of her baby. And I didn't even know why, but I was like, cute baby looks great. But she was sending it to me because he was wearing the stuff I got him, but I didn't even know what I got him. So. But Juliet sent me the baby in the blanket, was like, that's the blanket, you know, making fun of that. And I got a happiness out of it. I was like, look at that happy baby in the blanket that I was a part of. So I'd say the baby shower gift. Now you're asking. I think you would sound insane if you're remembering the how I I. You can one can be right and sound insane. Tomorrow's ticked off Tuesday. I am going to complain about the kooky woman who's doing the dating advice. And I am right. I also sound absolutely batshit insane. So you, you saying that this person did wrong by not giving you a wedding gift. And I, I'm. I'm on the side of you can forget to give a wedding gift because you go to the wedding, you go, oh my God, where's the registry? Couldn't find it. We got to give a gift. Then you go, we'll do it afterwards. And then it just. You lose time and track of thought. And also there's nothing you get back back from a wedding gift. There's no baby running around in a onesie that you go, look at that. Look what? Look at that onesie I got them. So I would say to you, on the list of things that could happen, there's at the Top of the list. It's she said these people, they're going to get a divorce anyways. They're not getting our money. Highly unlikely. There's also I totally forgot to give you a wedding gift, which is pretty unlikely as well. Somewhere in between the two is where the answer lies. You are treating their non gift to your wedding as if it was done in spite. And honestly, squeaky wheel gets the oil. Maybe the idea that you were so easy and no spending that money didn't even cross their mind. So, so didn't a gift. That is the weird way the world works. I see this with comedy a lot. These people that like, they go, they never go on the road, they never seem to do anything, but they're just like demanding things from their agency and then they get, you know, then all of a sudden they get things back to them. The agency's very attentive to them. I'm easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl. I'm going on the road. Ah, Fairmount. And who cares? Who cares? And then I'm walking from a fair amount into the club going, we didn't set up a ride so that could be part of this that you're. You were so easy that it was easier to not give you a gift. I'm just floating ideas here, but should I buy a small gift from the registry to quote unquote, give something, what would you do? The self proclaimed baby gift. Best self proclaimed, best baby shower gifter. I give the gift. I if it's not going to like come in the way of me paying rent or eating that month, it is the right thing to do and it's the thing I like to do. So listen, if you're sitting there being like, I don't believe in these gifts, that's okay too. Don't give a gift. I, I don't do things kind of like, here's the thing, it's like you're trying to like outwit someone who's not really playing a game of wits with you. They're not, they probably didn't think about it as much as you're thinking about it. And now you're, you're like out. I, I keep consistent. I keep to what I, I like to do. Jtrain podcastmail.com Jtrain podcastmail.com We are, we have a new sponsor, Cornbread Hemp. I've been using this Life can be crazy. So when you're ready to unwind, it's time for CBD gummies from Corn Cornbread Hemp. So I've Been going to bed and waking up for the early gym. I mentioned that in the beginning. I've used cornbread hemp to like kind of like get this sleep right to make sure I like pass out. Their organic CBD gummies are made to help you feel better, whether it's stress and poor sleep or just needing a moment to unwind. Cornbread hemp only uses the best part of the hemp plant, the flower. So you're getting the purest, most potent cbd. I love it. My sleeves have been great. I've been waking up ready for the gym. I'm taping this at 8:30 in the morning. Like I'm, I'm at a full charge when I do the cornbread hemp and fall asleep. Woo. Ready to go. 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Person you match with on a dating app, reaching out over Facebook, like if you told that to your parents, they go, well, why wouldn't they just message over the app? I get it. Same high school, never close. Here's the problem with this is you tend to get closer, quicker with someone who, who knows the same streets as your hometown and the same teachers. So things move that can be deceiving even if they don't mean to deceive, which is important. I think a lot of people are just trying to get themselves to where they're trying to go. So someone's pursuing you and they're mentioning, oh my God, Mrs. Connolly from third grade. And you go, I had Mrs. Connolly. Oh my God. And now you're like closer. Just for those, you're way closer than you would be with someone who said, how was Your weekend. Where'd you go to college? Oh my God. I've been to that school before. Tough loss last weekend. Those are two very different conversations. He was upfrun from day one that he was going through a divorce but said he but said he was fully over it. No, doesn't matter. Both of the I over divorce doesn't mean ready to date you. For context. I have a 4 year old daughter and he has an 11 year old. He shares custody 3 to 4 times a week. I have my daughter full time. We both have busy schedules but made time for weekly dates. He was always the first. He was and he was always the one pursuing and setting them up. Communication felt consistent and healthy and I was genuinely and I was genuinely happy with her. Communication felt consistent and healthy and I was genuinely happy with where things were going. This is a tale as old as time on our Our first two dates were dinners. The third was a game night at his sister's house, which felt a little early but natural. Our fourth date ended at his place. We got physical but didn't go all the way. I told him I wanted to wait and he was respectful. But after that night, everything changed. Okay. Over the next week, his texts got shorter and less frequent. Just hope you had a good day type messages until I stopped replying. We haven't talked since. I did notice he wrote I did notice he reposted a video about heartbreak, which made me think he's not which made me think he's not actually over his divorce. One red flag was that he One red flag was that he and his wife had tried to divorce once but before. One red flag was that he and his wife had tried to divorce once before but decided to stay together. Now. Now I can't help but wonder if he pulled away because he's still processing everything. I don't want to chase him. I know he's not. I know he knows I'm interested, but part of me hopes he'll come back and acknowledge that he just wasn't ready. This was the first real connection I've had in years and I'm really shattered. I know it's only a month, but I saw potential for something real. Did I do the. Did I do the right thing? How do I move on? And is there any chance he might reach out again? You did everything correctly. I'm sorry this is happening. I think it's not what you did, it's how you're viewing this is the issue. Because sometimes I like to read through the email as I did the wedding One and this one. I think the whole thing really is meant to be read through as a whole, because everything you're saying, I get. And you're acting as if he's the only. You know, you're feeling shattered as you write. When you write, this was the first real connection I've had in years. I'm feeling shattered. It goes back to, you guys had a lot in common. He had things he could speak about and. And know about that only he could know and that you guys share without even having to, like, be vulnerable and share these things. Like, again, the hometown thing is a thing. It moves things quicker. It makes you feel like you know them on a deeper level. I would say the thing you did most correctly was hold your own with the physical stuff. When you say we got physical but didn't go all the way, I told him I wanted to wait. Good for you. I mean, because you basically said, hey, I'm taking this seriously, and the physical stuff is serious to me. That is part of club me, and you gotta pay admission to club me. I hope that doesn't sound reductive because I just do believe you did what I call the reveal. The reveal is letting someone know how you stand and then seeing how they react to what you. To how you stand. You let him know, hey, you're important to me. And if we go to this next step, this physical step, it's going to be even more important to me. So I'm going to hold back. And he saw that, and he said, this is not what I'm looking for. And that feels personal because it is. It's a little personal. Hey, I see you. I think you're great. That is a mountain I'm not willing to climb right now is what he said. I think all the other stuff that you're bringing into the picture, his post about grief and his divorce, that all lives in the land of not your problem. You're taking those things to try and feel better about why this all ended and make it less personal. I get that. But to me, it's pretty simple. You said, if we have sex right now, this is a real relationship to me, and I'm looking for real with you. You need to, like, want that real with me to also get that other stuff. He respected that. He thought about it. He said, you know what? I'm not going to be able to give this person the responsibility that they're asking for, which is okay to ask for. And he said, no, I'm out. I think the hard part is that it kind of, you know, the hard part is that two things. One, you never really got to call this a relationship. So it was this like open ended thing that kind of just, you know, fizzled. So it never really gets an ending. And that feels weird. I'm sure if you had an ending, it would go, this is definitive. And right now you're sitting in, maybe he'll come back land. You're sitting there looking out the window, seeing cars pass by. Is that him? Is he, Is he. No, no, no. That's just the, that's just the UPS truck. That's not my boyfriend. You know, I, and I'm making fun of this because it is sad. I'm sorry this happened, but I just don't. I think if I was to give, you know, sometimes people just need. The problem with texting him and being like, I mean, honestly, you'd have to dump him. You'd to kind of walk away from this. It might be a good plan. Tough advice to take. Easy for me to give, but I mean, because you're like, well, if I dump him, he'll never come back. He's never coming back now. And if he does, it's with no consequences. So a dumping from you establishes this consequence, that if he comes back, he knows it has to be with full effort and knowing that like you're, you're erasing a dump. So if you said, hey, this seems to have fizzled, I feel a little let down that it ended. It is. It's been hard for me because we got so close so quick. I have to end this so that I can move on myself and meet someone who's going to give me the things I need. Because right now you're just a ghost. You're just a dream at this point. Because right now, what you're doing, this was the first real connection I've had in years. And I'm really shattered. Listen, you'll find another connection. I know you think. I think when this is stuff that you tell yourself that kind of keeps you in it. I know it was only a month, but I saw potential for something real. I'm sorry, this. No. Potential does nothing. Did I do the right thing? I think you did. How do I move on? I think you got to dump them. Hey. And the hard part about dumping someone is they can make it easy and they can make it hard. So you send them a text, hey, I just have to let you know I'm ending this. That might sound like it's crazy and out of the blue, but. But that's What I need to move on. Right now it feels like I'm living in a house where the door is unlocked and you might walk in at any time. I need to establish an ending to let you know that I really wanted something and I need to like walk away from this so that I can find that with someone else. And you never made the effort that I need to be able to like make this a real thing. Don't relate it to his divorce. Don't relate it to his grief post. It's just, I, I, I, I. Is there any chance he might reach out again? Yes. But if he reaches out again, you're going to get the same confused guy because nothing has changed. If you dump him, okay? If he, if he reached out after a dumping. And again, this guy does respect, as you know with listen, low bar but you said I don't want sex. And he goes, I get it. And he walked away and he thought about it and he is being respectful. He's going to she wants more and sex will make this more. So I'm not going to do that. That's what he said to himself and he made a decision. He said, you know what? I got to back away because if I go in and have sex, I'm actually lying because I would be saying I want more if I had sex with her. That's what he did. J train podcast gmail.com jtrain podcastmail.com DraftKings I love the sponsor because it makes your Sundays so much fun. I'm a big DraftKings. I'm in New York. I use DraftKings because that's where I can use it. Life is full of eruptions. But none of those eruptions ever put cash in your pocket. Cash eruption slots at DraftKings Casino is the eruption we're here for. You don't even have to give it a second thought. DraftKings Casino paid out the largest online casino jackpot in US history. They've awarded over 600 million on jackpots and crowned more than 100 millionaires. So what are you waiting for? Listen, I'm a DraftKings user. Their interface is great. 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Eligibility restrictions apply. Non withdrawable casino spins issued as 50 spins per day for 10 days. Valid for featured game only and expire each day after 24 hours. See terms@casino.draftkings.com promos ends January 4, 2026 at 11:59pm Eastern Time. Do one more email as I sip my coffee. I've been dating a new guy six dates in. He's attentive, emotionally available, asks great questions, listens well, and shares openly. I really feel like he's getting to know me and I don't get the sense he's seeing other women. Though we haven't had any exclusivity talks yet. I'm already ahead of you that I wouldn't even say that we are dating. We are dating. Stay in the I lane. He's a PhD physicist, which happens to be a special interest of my son. Although I'm usually church and state about dating and my kids, he and my son have started bonding. My son even recorded a voice memo asking about black holes and he happily replied with one of his own. He even let him. He even let him. He even lent him a book about them. I pass it along. They haven't actually met. He also miraculously lives one block away. It feels like it could really work out. My only question is this. He literally never texts me. We texted for a few days before our first date, but since then he's only texted once. He responds if I reach out, but never initiates. Two to three days can go by with no contact unless I text first. At the end of each date, he books the next one and seems invested and excited when we're together, but then zip for days in between. Is there anything you can make of the no communication between dates? I'm used to checking in and having more connection in between. Of course I plan to mention it soon, let him know my preferences. Just wanted your insights. I kind of like on this. I guess the sun stuff you mentioned, because you mentioned you are getting closer. And if I was interacting with someone's son through them, I would understand that we are closer than just the average person I'm seeing. So I would assume he understands that this is a real thing. So let's live in the land of everyone's not that stupid. He's living in the land of I'm dating this girl and it's getting more and more serious. I'm actually interacting with a son who loves physics, which is crazy to me. This is, I don't know, one kid who's ever been into physics, but you got the one. So I don't think he thinks this is some chick he's banging. If you're, like, wondering that, because that's kind of the world you're living in, you're living in. He's either amazing, great guy who wants to like, amazing, great guy who takes interest in my kid and takes me out on dates, but he doesn't text. So maybe I'm just some chick he's banging, which is like, I understand. That's where the brain goes. I don't think you're crazy for thinking that way. I do think it's more than that to him. And let's act as if that's a great way to live life. Act as if. Act as if. Act as if this is a normal person who knows that interacting with your kid while dating means that you guys are a little more serious than the average dating couple or the average six dates in. You said I've been dating a new guy six dates in. Okay, this is a guy. So let's act as if this guy understands that six dates in. While also interacting with your child over their love of physics is a more serious six states in than the average six states in. That's how. That's how I. Let's look at it that way. You believe that he believes that. The no texting thing, it's been consistent since you've started. So let's also assume that how you began is how you are. This goes the other way. Oh, they were texting like crazy. Then five dates in, all of a sudden it's stopped. I would say that's more crazy than person who never really texted, continues to not text. That's someone who's changing how they act and is giving you a sign. To me, consistency is always the sign of good stuff going on. I think you can. I. To me, it was, you know, to say, I need more texting out of you when they're not a texter. I'm not sure that really is their responsibility to do. I think if you're thinking of them and you have a text to send, I wouldn't hold back because of their texting habits. You need to be you. They're going to be them. Maybe you text them today that, oh, my God, my dishwasher broke. I can't believe I have to deal with this. Then they don't get back to you until the end of the day. They go, just seeing this, just getting out of the lab. My physics lab was crazy today. Tons of beakers. And. And they're like, that stinks about the dishwasher. And they're now responsive in that way. Now you start to find out how they are in a petri dish with you right now. When you start dating six dates in It's a petri dish. It's two petri dishes next to each other. You act how you act. They act how they act. When you start to, like, pour those dishes into one dish. Now it's how you act and they act and how that bounces off each other. So when you say to me, they never text, well, what do you want to text them about? I think you need to take more responsibility and more risk and vulnerability being yourself. Now, if you're just mad they're not texting and you got nothing to say, maybe this isn't the match. Let's start being a little more honest with ourselves. And if I was to be honest with you, speak up, bitch. Say something. You got something to say? Text it. Oh, they get back and now you're saying, well, they don't initiate. That's not who they are. That's not who they've ever been. That's what you got. I don't go to the store, buy some cereal and ask it to be oatmeal. If I did, my cereal will be soggy and it would taste like shit. So it's not like they've changed. They've always been this way. You're a texter. You got something to say, say it. And the problem becomes when they don't get back to you, Hey, I texted you about my laundry machine. Hey, I texted about my dishwasher. You never got back to me. I feel let down by that. Now you got a case to build. Now you get to be complainsy. And you have a right to, hey, you and I are dating. You're responsible for my feelings in this small way. You're not really picking up the slack here. Jtrain, podcastmail.com jtrain podcastma.com It's a mailbag Monday, back next week. Boom.