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It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there. I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag. Monday. Hello and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is Jay Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Monday is a mail bag. Were me, the comedian gets emails from you, the listener, and I give you some advice, some perspective. Why me? If you're new here, I, I want to thank you for giving this podcast a shot. If you've been here a while, I want to thank you for being a part of this show. This is a mom and pop organization. This is the J Train cinematic universe. We are a daily show Monday through Friday. Every day is a different theme. If you join me because you saw an Instagram story that piqued your interest or you saw a clip that, that means something worked, and I'm excited to have you here. I'm going to put on a show for you and I want you to subscribe so that this podcast is here for you when you need it. I have three listener emails. Real people, real problems. Why do they ask me? Because they've come to trust me over the years. I've been giving advice in I, I on, on the podcast, you know, forum for 14 years. That's right. And I, I think what I bring to the table is I'm going to be, I'm going to, I'm going to admit to all my biases as I answer the question. I'm going to be honest with you, and I'm going to try and be funny while doing it. But I, I used to say this when I would have guests on the advice version of this show, which, you know, we could do that again. That could happen again. I would say to the guests, I'd be like, listen, take the person seriously. That's the first thing you have to do, is take the email seriously. I don't care how stupid you think this problem is, it is a problem to them. And then I'd say, and then we can make fun of them as much as we want, but we have to answer their question. We have to take their questions seriously. And I will do that for you. I have three emails, two sponsors. The sponsors are Hero Bread and Joy Mode. If those sound like companies that could help you, then they always give some sort of free money. I got free money, Joy Mode, which is for the bedroom. Hero Bread, which is a better bread. You know, the, to me, it's better. Less calories, more fiber, tastes just as good as any bread you're having. I had it this morning with my breakfast. We'll get to the sponsors. Let's do the email first. Email. And yeah, we get to them quick. What are we? A minute in. A minute in. I didn't even mention my shows that are this weekend in Vancouver and Seattle. Vancouver Thursday, Seattle Saturday. I'm also coming to Salt Lake City in Tempe, Arizona. La. That is on the horizon. But please get your tickets now. If you're hearing this now and you plan on coming, please, I need you. Of all people. This is a again, mom and pop organization. Seattle. We added a second show because I thought, let's take a shot. It's sold out. Why not? I would love for that show to be as fun as the first show. They're all fun in their own special way. But it, you know, we need people to make them fun in Vancouver. I know, I know you're gonna buy at the door. Probably because this happened last year or two years ago when I was there. People I would see people. I made a video from Vancouver promoting the shows. As I'm making the video, someone's like, hey, oh, you're the guy. Miserable. I'm like, come to the show. So Vancouver, come on. I know you're miserable and you hate your lives. Someone who doesn't know my feelings on Vancouver. And I was like, why do you think Vancouver people are miserable? They are. I've never met. Please come to my show now. Let me tell you why. You guys are brutal. I've never met people in a city that is so built for such wonderful things. Like it's by the ocean, it's by the mountains, it's got young people, it's got jobs, there's actual like industry there. You know, all the clothing companies I think are like out of Vancouver. Someone's going to get back to me. They're like, it's a, it's a wasteland. Listen, I'm sure every city has problems. Vancouver seems like it has a great thing going on and for some reason everyone there is miserable. So I'm coming to cheer you up. Buy your tickets. Hello, Jared. Thank you for answering listener questions. Your perspective is very appreciated. Thank you. Okay. Oh, and if you want to email, you you I just did the U up podcast. Email. If you want to email J train podcast@gmail.com. that's J train podcast gmail.com. i had two dates so far with a 43 year old male that I match with on hinge. I am 37. We both live in New York City. This is recognizable to me. Everything I've been in all these places. I've, I've been 37. I've lived in New York City. I've never been 43, but I am. As many of you may know, it was my birthday last weekend. So I do want to thank you for any birthday messages. And I get more birthday messages than most because people know that we on the UF podcast, it's become known as the worst day of the year. And that's not me being hard on myself. It's a, it's a fun inside joke. So I get a lot of messages and they are all appreciated. I'm not really a birthday guy. I get very reflective as I reflect on 40. It's been a transformational year for me and I, I'll get to that. On, on. I'll. That'll be things that will be spoken about in the future as I, you know, I'm going through them now. I'm like seeing there's been a lot of changes. I moved to Delray Beach. I'll never forget 40. I'll never forget it as most people I'm sure because it's, you know, 40 I think for men. 40 for men is 30 for women. I think a lot of times I think the, the deal, you know, the, the, the sucking on the, on the werthers of original of what life you've built happens at 40 for men. Generally. I, I don't know. I'm saying in my opinion, you know, when I turned 30 was nothing. I barely honestly turning 40. I go what happened to my 30s? Like I, I don't even remember being 31 and, and thinking I was old. So I digress. Okay. I think I got. Okay, So I had two dates so far with a 43 year old man that I matched with on hinge. I am 37. We both live in New York City. I think I got the ick or I'm wondering if you think what I'm about to share is a normal male behavior. Okay, these are two different things. Normal male behavior and you getting the ick are not. I think you've misunderstood the ick. And I think for a lot of women this is me being your friend, not judging you. I understand there are societal things that go into this, but I think because you're told to just go along, they the, the. I think as you're told. Go with it. He checks a lot of boxes. Sure your dries up when you, you when you're around him. But he's got a job and he's nice to people. And it's like, no man would do that for a woman. I'm just telling you right now. So to me, there's a lot of normal behavior from men that make women have the ick. One woman's husband is another woman's ick. So what you're saying, and I haven't even read your email, if you're new here, I read these with you on the show. I do this. I'm receiving this information the same time you are. I think when you say, I think I've got the ick, or I'm wondering if you think what I'm about to share is normal male behavior. Before I even get to your question, I am hearing, are my feelings justified? The ick is I'm turned off. Not for me. Ew. Nowhere in that do you need a group of women or me to look at you and go, you're right, it's your feelings. Own up. So. And if it's the ick, and the way I describe the ick isn't, well, his nails are dirty. Because I don't think there's a person out there who would love that their partner's nails are dirty. That is called a turn off. That is called that. They're not really being living in the society that we all know and feel comfortable in. They're mean to wait staff, not an ick. They're rude, not a nick. They split the tab. That's an ick. Because you could be with someone that splits a tab and someone else could be with someone that doesn't split the tab, and you could both love that person equally. Now you would say, how could someone. Well, that's you judging someone else's feelings. You're a dick. So my feedback to this already is this person is lost. They have lost. Now, hold on, Jared. I'm getting ahead of myself. If what they describe as normal male behavior is something that is just mean, I would say, or if it was something that was like, I can tell this person if they're being overreact. If they're overreacting. But I'm telling. But I can't tell someone how to feel. I. It doesn't matter what I think. Again, I'm. I'm sticking to my own. My own definition here. We both said we aren't active on ig, but use it to share memes with close friends. I showed him a funny video, and then he took to his IG to. I showed him a funny video. And then he took his IG out to show something, too. I saw his for me page, and half the grid was sexy naked women. Okay. I would say they were scantily clad. I don't think they were naked because I don't think Instagram allows that. So let's stay in Truthtown, usa. You have gone to Fictionville station. But if you saw that, I'm not going to tell you that. You can't be turned off by that. That's okay. I would say if you looked. If you said Jared again, you don't. You also wouldn't want to fuck me because my Instagram for you page is big old titties. It's big old titty place. And I'm look. And that's where my. That's where my scroll slows down. Yours slows down at your reality TV show news. Again, the things where we slow down. And now I'm going to go into a defense of big titty for you, Paige. The things where we slow down are generally the icky truths about what we slow down for You. You know, to me, when you say, oh, it's all naked women. Okay, I have an appreciation for the female form. That is what turns me on when I'm on Instagram. That's where I slow down. Am I proud of that? No. But is that the truth? Yes. You slow down on gossip about reality show TV stars. And to me, that could be described as just a gross. A habit. You like hearing the downfall of other women, and that's where you go, oh, and that's, you know, we all have our things. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm saying, again, this is my long defense of looking at a woman in her bathing suit. Okay, let me just go back to this. I saw his for me page. Is it for you? For me? Read receipt. Read receipt. Tomatoes. Tomatoes. Let's call the whole thing off. He seemed a little embarrassed, but said no and showed me his followers. Wait. I said okay. I saw his for me page, and half the grid was sexy naked women. I said, wow, and asked if he followed porn stars. He seemed a little embarrassed, but said no and fought and showed me his followers. Or showed me who he's following, I guess she's saying. I thought, okay, that was a little jarring. But then he closed IG and I saw his app screen. He had the top three dating apps all in a row. And honestly, those are the only ones I know based on image. So maybe he had more dating apps. I feel like an ick I feel an ick because he seems very eager to meet someone, and seeing the Tinder app makes me think he would just take anyone. I don't think that's fair. Again, I can't tell you to feel a different way to me. If you get the ick, that means you were already questioning this person to begin with. You weren't that attractive. You weren't that into it. You were kind of meh. And now these things pushed you over the edge into dry town, Village. You have gone into. And. And I don't think you can climb back up to let me see what this guy's all about. Station. Used a lot of village, station, and Ville things today. So, like, what you're saying isn't fair, but icks aren't meant to be fair. I saw his. You know, because it starts at. I don't know about this guy. Two dates. I'm not that attracted. He's been kind of just like everyone else, but he holds a lot of qualities that I'd like to date. He has a nice job. He seems to like his family. He's looking for something serious. And then scantily clad women on his for you page. And then looks at his phone. Three different dating apps, and you're out. So you're allowed to feel that way. I'm telling you, none of this screams more than just a guy to me. But I would. I would also agree with you. You want a little fantasy. You want the romantics. I get it. He seemed very eager to meet someone. And seeing the Tinder app makes me think he would take just anyone. I don't think that those two things are true. I disagree with you. I guess I want to feel special, not someone he just happened to swoop up. Yeah, that's the problem with the dating apps. They don't feel special. They are quite literally playing a numbers game. You're at the casino. You're playing the slot machine. So I understand if you look too much at any of these things, it starts to get a little gross, doesn't it? Or we're just taking faces and throwing them to one or the other side of the room as if we're splitting laundry into piles and unfuckable piles. Yeah, that could sound gross on a dating app. And then you meet your friend, and they're like, I met the most wonderful person I could ever meet on Hinge, and we had all the same interests and his. And this was his. His. His prompt made me laugh, and they never make me laugh. And. And I was so Happy? He put me in theable pile. Right? You can tell this story any way you want, but you're telling it now in a way that's like, you know, don't tell me how the hot dog is made. This is how the hot dog is made. I guess I want to feel special, not someone he just happened to swoop up. Jared, what do you think? I've given a lot of my thoughts so far. Is this a normal guy who just simply wants to meet someone and is using a broad brush to get there? Yes, this is a normal guy. Again, from what I know here. Who Here. Here's the. Here's how the hot dog gets made for a guy. Yeah, I'd fucker. I don't know. Maybe. Let's see if I'll date her. And you're seeing that front row center. You're seeing that right now. I'm not telling you anything that's a lie. I'm saying it starts at are they hot? Am I attracted and are they hot is different for everyone. Don't take that personally. There is no group of hots that we all salute on a daily basis. Hot is different for everyone. There's a butt for every seat. There's 300 different porn categories. Every one of those is something a person is out there looking for. So you are someone's porn category. You know, someone is looking for feet on there and you're someone's foot. So take this in the way I'm saying it. I guess I want to. Is this a normal guy who just simply wants to meet someone and is using a broad brush to get there? Yes, I believe that. But also, you have to have personal responsibility. I think you're. You're getting too personally responsible. But I think this starts at you didn't like him that much to begin with. I think when you start getting into the nitty gritty of like, he has three dating apps. So that must mean I think you were looking for reasons to be right about ending it with a guy who was just nice enough. Or is this someone who seems really eager to meet anyone in any capacity? It might be. You don't know that besides this, he has been nice and chivalrous. What I tell you, just nice enough that she feels bad about ending it. He hasn't pushed for intimacy as of yet, but does seem very into pushing the dating along and texting every day, wanting to speak on the phone and planning dates well into the future like before the next one has happened even. Yeah, that's a lot. And you're noticing it because you're not really that into it. Thank you for your input. I hope you picked this question. I picked it and I think it's a wonderful question. I think you're saying things that are not just you. I've given you a lot of feedback that maybe f I could understand. You'd be like, you know, ease off of me. But you're saying things that a lot of people say. And you're 37. I think you, you know, it's funny, you say, I want to feel special, but then you're looking at this guy through a not special lens. It seems as though you've been turned off to the dating apps. You feel from the question that you asked, based on the way you wrote this email, you seem like. It seems like it would be very difficult for someone to feel it. It seems like it'd be. It would feel. It would be very difficult for you to feel special from someone on a dating app. That's not saying it can't happen. You might need a break because you went out with a guy just because like, like I could turn this around on you. You went out with him because you matched. You have not said anything special about him other than right age, looking for something real. And now you're judging him for not making you feel special because he's on too many apps. The one that you're on too, and because you saw a few titties on his for you page, you kind of see what I'm talking about. So I, I think I'm not going to push you to take another chance on a guy that you're not really that into. It sounds like you're not. And I know he fits the profile and doing all the things I think when he's making a date before the next one even happens, that's a huge part of this email and why you're feeling the way you do. You don't feel special because you're like, you're probably saying, man, these two dates were, like, just fine. And now he's like making the third before we've even been on the second. How does he know? He must be looking for something. So I think when you start going down that road, it's time to cut bait. This isn't an ick, though. Like I, I he f. No, it's an ick. It's a perfect ick, actually, because there's a woman out there dating someone who was on three apps. There's a woman there. There's a person who is in love with someone that they met on a dating app while that person was on three apps and had a for you page full of big old boobies. That person exists. That person loves their husband, loves their person, might have a huge family by now, thinks that they are living the fairy tale. So this qualifies as an ick because one woman's husband and another is another person's ick. So here you are. I think you have the ick because you weren't that impressed by him. You didn't feel it was magical. So now you're looking for all these reasons to say why it isn't magical. It's his fault. Jtrain podcast gmail.com Jtrain podcast gmail.com we have two sponsors. 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So if you sign up for the Patreon, there's a lot of stories that went on this past week, but the New York shows and the Toronto shows were just such a wonderful moment for me personally. It is. I, I wrote a little bit about Instagram stories and, you know, if just anyone here listening, you're a part of my journey, which feels douchey to say I, I don't expect that anyone my, you know, it's weird. My pursuits do take people believing in them and it means a lot that you guys listen to this and get into anything I do and just to meet people at the photos in Toronto, we couldn't do the Toronto. I couldn't do the photos in New York. It just the logistics of it all. I, I do mention on stage, like there's union rules. There are. I'm not just saying that. And Sophia Salador, who works at Live Nation, has become a close friend of mine. I know she's listening right now. Just the best made this weekend. So special for me and so thank you. And also YouTube. I put up, we put up a YouTube V. Put up a YouTube UV who's been absolutely wonderful and so helpful with this show and just unbelievable. She. We tape from the New York City show. We just did a YouTube on Philly, so there's a Philly video if you go watch it. Would love to hear your comments there. Jared. I've been on three dates with this guy and noticed a red flag when he asked how my day was. And I say it was bad, chaotic and weird. He doesn't follow up at all, just moves on. Is that a real red flag or is there a way to prompt emotional curiosity? I would say there's a red flag. I think this is him checking a box. I think, you know, it's funny, like what's. What is in. What is in the dating noise, you know, I try, I'm trying to differentiate what dating complaints make it to me versus what dating complaints get beyond me and make it to your everyday barstool Jim and Joe. What do I mean by a barstool Jim and Joe rando dude working 9 to 5 who you might be dating that listens to the whole barstool universe. He's not getting a lot of these dating questions. He. This, this is trickling to him when a what when women are asking. Because I was talking, I mentioned Sophia, I was talking with her and a couple Other women who helped with the show in Toronto and were just unbelievable to work with and everyone was great. We were talking about the. There was a story from the Olympics about this. I think he's a snowboarder. Whatever he was, he, he wins bronze or silver and he starts talking about how he cheated on his girlfriend and how sorry he was. And all the women at the table were saying how much of a piece of shit he was because it totally like embarrassed her one. And, and we all agreed. I, and I agree with everything they were saying. It's embarrassing for her. And, and she, you know, now he kind of looks heroic or he, you know, it turns their cheating and his apology, his cheating and the apology into this like, debate for people to go, well, he said he's sorry and oh my God, it turns him into this hero, weirdly that he doesn't deserve to be. If you're sitting out there telling the world you cheated, you're kind of looking to go see, look at the big thing I did. And that's for that reason, we're good. And it's like, no, we're not good. So we were talking about that and I was saying to the, the, the three women that I was speaking with, I was like, I go, the interesting part about this is he has, he probably thought, let's at our most empathetic, he, he wasn't this master manipulator. He wasn't going to thank her because look it, I can get away with it. He really may have thought he was doing the right thing. I'll apologize on live tv. Look at how, how much I'm taking the brunt and all the anger I'm gonna have to hear on social media and it's like, yeah, amongst the anger will be like three chicks who are like, you're cute. You won't do it to me. I can change you. So and so to go back to the average Jim and Joe and who gets this information, I do think that this guy I was saying if I was coaching this snowboarder who's saying that he cheated, I would tell him what it was a bad idea because I'm on the front lines of these dating conversations that a lot of men aren't. Men aren't interested in dating convo aren't interested in that type of hang and that type of. I am generally a lot of men are. And I can tell you by the numbers who listen here and on my Instagram and on you up. So when it comes to guy on third date who doesn't Ask more than the question he's asking. He may have only heard men don't ask questions on dates. That's what he heard. And he's like, I gotta check this box. He goes on the date. He's like, okay, how was your day? And you're like, who? Let me tell you. And he's like, chick, got that question done with. Okay, now it's time to talk about Johnny. Like, I. I could understand how that might be happening. So it's a red flag. But it might be that he's trying, you know, like, it might be that he's going, okay, I want to do a good job, so make sure you ask about her. How was your day? And you go, oh, my God, it was such a tough day. And this week has been nuts. And I'm going through so much. And, you know, I know this is too much information, but, you know, this early on, but, you know, I'm kind of going through my period right now, and my mom is down my neck, and, you know, my. I got all my stuff at the dry cleaners, and they close before I could pick up my stuff. And then you just look across the table, and he's, like, chomping on a French fry. And he's like, so, yeah, my week has been pretty rough too. And you're like, oh, you didn't even care about this. So I think, how do you kind of reverse this? Because. Because here's what you're saying. I'm turned off, by the way. He doesn't ask me further questions. I see enough in him to keep this going. So you're asking me for that reason because you want to maybe see him again. You see, and again, I'm. I would tell you, if you've noticed this, you've kind of gone too far. I would end this. You can find someone who you're gonna really find a good vibe with. But if you're on a first date, I, I would find it totally reasonable to go on a date and someone says, hey, how was your day? And you're like, it was brutal. And they're like, so do you want to get the calamari? And you're like, wait a minute. Don't you. You just asked about my day. I said it was brutal. You've moved on. What's going on? And if he didn't say, oh, I'm sorry. I, I, I, I, I, I don't know if you wanted to get deeper on that. I just, I, you know, I don't want to, like, pry. Then you Can. There's a guy in love is blind. He was horrific. This guy Steve. Go watch episode. It's either episode one. I think it's the end of episode one. This guy Steve sucked. This woman was, like, talking about how hard, you know, high school was. She had melanoma. She was adopted. And he goes, come on, let me cheer you up. You want me to cheer you up? Come on. Come on. He called himself something horrific. It was bad. And it's like he wasn't listening. So there's. It can go in one or two directions. They might say, oh, I just didn't want to pry. And I, I didn't really know how to ask about or what I'm allowed to ask on a first date. Or they go, oh, well, and it gets awkward. So I would say it's okay to call that out. Hey, I just told you my day was bad. Do you want to hear about it, or were you just wondering if I had a good or bad day? And that's it. To me, you're not going to push a string a lot of times. So the person who didn't make you feel valued when you said you were having a tough day, I don't know if the next question or further question is going to go in a different direction, especially three dates. Three dates. No. 1 of those dates has to be wonderful. Now, if it's the third date and you had great first and second date, then the third one, you go, I had a horrible day. And he's like, not that great with it. Another chance. Sure. And then you come in and say, I would actually go on the fourth date and say, hey, I, I, I had a really great time with you. The reason we're here is because I just had such a good time on day one and two. But then when I told you I had a bad day, you, you kind of, just, like, brushed it off. And I, I, I would have loved to have gotten deeper with you. And you didn't really kind of look for that. Are you looking for something deeper? Are you looking to get to know me in that way? Because I'm looking to get to know you in that way. Like, if you said you were having a hard day, I would ask, I would, I would hope I would ask some, some questions about that. I mean, that, to me, what I just said sounded pretty good. J train podcast@gmail.com J train podcast@gmail.com. hero Bread. I mentioned in the beginning I love this sponsor. I had it with my breakfast this morning. I make the toast it's high fiber, low calorie. The toast tastes just like any other toast I would have. I like a crunch if you like a crunch. That should be their, their thing. And they just sent me the elbow macaroni. They sent me elbow pasta. I'm going to make Mac and cheese this week. Hero bread is making bread. Better bread that's higher in fiber, lower in net carbs with zero grams of sugar. Makes they make bagels, pastries, hot dogs, hot dog and burger buns, even pastas and tortillas. You'd never know. Hero bread is low net carb and high fiber. From the texture, I can attest to that. Tastes great. The texture is amazing. Again, I love it. I think you guys will be, I mean, to me, if you listen to a podcast, you love efficiency. That's what hero bread is. You want the show when you right to your phone, you listen to it when you want it. You want bread that's not going to like crush your day and it's going to taste great. Hero products are the perfect way to add protein to your diet. From light snacks to family meals. Hero has you covered. Herobred is offering 10 off your order. Go to Hero Co. Use code feather at checkout. That's code Feather co. One last email. It's. It is in depth. I love it. I love a depthy story. Send your emails jtrain podcastmail.com I'm here drinking a coffee, A delicious coffee. Made it myself. All right. I have a new baby and I. Oh, let me read the beginning. Dear J Train, I've been on this train for many years. Your voice keeps my brain right where I like it on a shelf. Here's my issue. Perfect opening. Because I've said that in the past. I. I know this is a Fred. I know that they've listened. That is the one thing. When I meet you guys and you say I listen to J Train, I'm like, I know you. I, I feel like I want this to get bigger. If it doesn't grow, it dies. And you know, I fear for that. I, I do have this thing where I'm like, man, would I lose touch with who listens. I know everyone who listens here and it makes me feel really good. So I hope you know that I have a new baby and I have just survived nine days of my mother in law staying with us in our small house. Good for you. I am. I listen. That sounds like new baby. Nine. Nine days. Nobody should stay with anyone for nine days. I don't care if it's My mother in law, father in law, my adult child. Get out of here. Nine days. She leaves tomorrow and I'm racing toward the finish line. From intrusive comments and questions around breastfeeding to cleaning up after her around the cl. Cleaning up after her, my God. To her random friends dropping in and staying for hours. I'm coming out on the other side. After feeling truly traumatized. It's important to me that this baby grows up having a good relationship with her grandparents. So I'm glad to have suffered through. We've decided that in the future we will limit time staying in our house to three days. Yeah, I would say a weekend is enough. And the worst part with a mother in law, I would imagine as a guy with no mother in law, no child. So I couldn't be farther from your situation. I could be farther, but I'm really far away. They think they're helping. They think it's good that they're around. I want anyone that stays with me to know how much of a burden is for me. The less they know that they're a burden, the more of a burden they are. My mother in law lives across the country and if she wants to stay longer, she'll have to get a hotel for the rest of the time. Okay, so you've made a rule. There's a lot of advice I could use around this, but I'll limit my questions to one small thing which has been mentioned between you and Jordana. On you up. My mother in law loves to call me mama. Oh, wait till I hear. Wait till I tell Jordana. This is horrific. Not only is she annoying, and not only does she make a mess, my mother in law is a big old pig who calls me mama first thing in the morning. She might say, hey, mama, did baby have breakfast? Oh, not even the baby did baby have breakfast? And it makes me want to crawl back into bed and sleep for a thousand years. It makes my skin crawl. I feel like the mama thing has been made so. I feel like the mama thing has been so made fun of publicly that I can't believe she doesn't know how cringy this is. Well, this is kind of the problem with the world today. It's been made fun of on your algorithm, on the shows. You listen to this. Mom doesn't know how stupid the mama people sound. She's not on the TikTok algorithm with a guy wearing a towel. Like he's has hair and he's a woman and he's, you know, point of view. Your mother in law is a big annoying piece of shit. And oh, and she's going, hey, mama. Like she hasn't seen this lampoon. There's no question. Listen, I agree with you that it's cringy, but I feel like the mama thing has been made fun of public. Public. So. Has been so made fun of publicly. No, it hasn't. That's the problem with algorithms. We are all in our echo chambers. She is not on annoying mother in law TikTok or Instagram. I'm sorry. And I can't believe she doesn't know how cringy this is. Believe it, sister. This is my feedback to you. Believe it. My child is here to stay. And I can't fathom living the rest of my mother in law's life being called mama in this way. What can I say or do to deter this behavior? Or do I just make peace with it? She's not trying to purposely irritate me. So it's tough. I get it. Sincerely, not the mama. Huh? This is a tough one. There's, there's a, there's a fun way to do it and then there's like a real way to do it. I think one way is to go through your husband. I think you say to your husband, I listen, I can take only so much. How do we get her to stop calling me mama? And you got to include your husband in this. He has to be a part of the solution. He has to be. He knows how to talk to her in a way that is son to mom. And I think daughter in law to mother in law. That line of communication is rocky at best. So I'm bringing him in and I'm like, hey, I, I, I'm, I'm doing everything I can do to make your mom happy. You got to do me a favor. And, and I think I go to the John Madden role on this one. Give people three directions. No more, no less. So hey, to your, if one of the three things is you gotta get your mom to stop calling me mama because it's driving me crazy and it makes me annoyed. I think it can be one of the things he does that like. And I think, you know, it's like when I build my stand up act and I want to do like 10 new jokes, I get to know new jokes. So we have to do things one at a time. You go to your husband, first things first. We got through a big nine days with your mom. It's been tough for me, but the toughest and maybe the easiest for you to translate to her is I really don't want to be called Mom. I, I, and I get it. Mama just doesn't feel hot. Doesn't feel, it just feels like you're, you know, at home and a old lazy boy with floppy titties in a baby's mouth for the feeding. Like, I, I get why that doesn't feel great. The more fun way to get her to stop calling you mama is to give her a horrible grandma name. You gotta, you gotta go like call if she, if she wants to be called. You know, a lot of, you know, there's like, there's a lot of grandmas that want like younger grandma names. I'm the glam eye roll. Like, I would start calling her Betty Grandma Betty Grandma Meemaw. Maybe she doesn't like Meemaw. Find a grandma name she doesn't like. Start calling her Old Timer. And you're gonna go play with the Old timer. That's like too meat. You gotta find them. There's gotta be one that's just beneath Old Timer that's like, nice enough. Like Mama. That's the problem with mama. Just like you said, she's not purposely. No one calls a mama mama because they're purposely trying to irritate them. They call them a mama because they think it's fun and oh, you've, you know, this is how great. But you need a grandma version. Grandma might be it because not a lot of people who are self conscious about their age want to be called grandma loudly and publicly. So maybe it's grandma. What was. You know, because for like, for Jews, Bubby is like old is like great grandma. Like, I would never call. I don't think my mom, when my brother has a kid would. They're not having a. No one's pregnant. But he would be first would want to be Bubby. She would think it was old. So I don't know what your background is, but maybe there's a name like that. So. But I think your husband's the, is the true. I mean, if you do go up to her. Hey, when you call me Mama, you make me feel like I'm a cow getting chugged on, on their titties. My, you know, like, I just, I, I can't get out of my head how much I don't like that she, she should be able to understand that. You would think, but the sun is the way to go. All right, JJ Train podcast gmail.com. keep sending your emails back next week. Boom.