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It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there. I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag Monday. Hello, and welcome to the J Train Podcast. This is J Train Jared Freed coming to you live from Delray Beach, Florida. That's right, every Monday is Mailbag Monday, where you, the listener, email me the comedian with your questions. And it really can be anything. Love, friendship, uh, you can make it about, you know, maybe like something that's societal. I don't know, maybe, you know, one of those, like, Aesop's fables, you know, King Solomon tales. Should I cut the baby in half? You can ask anything you'd like. Send it to jtrain podcastmail.com jtrain podcastmail.com why would you ask me if you're new here? You clicked on a link, you thought, maybe I'll give this guy a chance. I'm not making eye contact with you. I'm going to give you an honest perspective. And all the emails come to me anonymously. No name. I'm not looking you up. V. Our producer gets the emails. She goes through them, finds the best ones. The best ones are personal. Personal. We want specificity. Specificity. How I'd like you to be with me. R, E S P E, C, T. That's the stuff I'm talking about. I didn't know the end of the song, so I did. That's the stuff I'm talking about. I thought I was going to lead me to a rhyme. Listen, we're starting kooky. We start kooky. It's a Monday. I'm taping this a Monday out Monday, February 23rd. If you were at the Beach Mountain show, I'm wearing the hat in the clips. What a cool place. Gotta say, I. You know, my dream isn't to go back to Beach Mountain, North Carolina. That's not my dream. My dream is to be able to go to Beech Mountain, North Carolina, where I have, like, a bunch of shows there. What a fun thing that, you know what. What an amazing thing that could happen that. That, you know, because I can't go back for the show. You know, we did a show, it was like, it looked like, you know, we were in a fallout shelter and the world had ended. And, you know, I was, you know, someone said, hey, let's just have a night where we forget about what's going on here. And they gave me a mic that was like a stick and I performed. It was kind of like that, but it was fun. So I'd love To get to a place where we can, you know, I have enough people listening here and that can I. I would love to do show that, you know, if I could do four shows at Beach Mountain, North Carolina, I would go back. It's gonna take four shows, though. I, I don't think I could do just one. Love the mountain, love the people, love the skiing. I went. I'll talk all about this on Coffee with J Train. If you're listening to this right now, this will be told on Coffee with J Train, which you can sign up on Patreon. This was a little teaser, a little, little taste, give you a taste. But let's try and get close to that dream by coming to the shows. Salt Lake City, Utah, Los Angeles, Tempe, Arizona. That's what I got left. I'm sure I'm going to be adding more. Jaredfreed.com Jared free.com Jared free.com for the tickies, assemble the group chat. If you are not in those cities, but you, you know, know someone, send them this show. Let them know I'm coming to town. Your papa, JT is coming to town with his bag of laughs, his bag of funny, the YouTube. I, I mean, enough with the ads. Let's just get to it. We got three amazing emails. They are thorough. I'm looking at them. They're long. Jared, I'm writing because I have a close friend who, as we get closer to 30, is becoming a walking red flag. I love her and want what's best for her, but it's getting harder to spend time with her because she constantly talks about how she, quote, needs to be married before 30. Oh, better get the DeLorean ready because you got to go back in time. You're getting closer to 30. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Yeah. This is brutal. You, you know, listen, we all have places we want to be. We all have places we want to go. When someone talks about their troubles, getting married before 30, it does come off as like, hey, we all got problems. Here is all you think about is yourself. You know, like, I'm sitting here single, too. I'm trying my best to have fun and dance at this party with nobody, too. So it does. I can understand as a friend, you go, listen, I feel for her. And then it's becoming the topic of every conversation she's repeating herself. And at that point, at 28, let's say they're 28, 27, which is the age that I think women start to feel it just from my angle, from me, you know, Joe blow. Jared loser with a T shirt on that's stained with mustard. Eating a sandwich in the corner of the room, I seem to. It feels like 27. I. I've said canceling a date. You want to cancel a date with a girl who's 25 because she's like, cool, I got like seven groups of friends I can go hang out with. Or you want to cancel a date with a girl who's above 32 because she's like, oh, thank God I have a skincare routine that I got to take care of. 27 to 30. You cancel on one of those women prayers to you and your family. That's a tough woman to cancel on because she's got places you want to be. She's got, she's got 30 weddings this summer and she's going to be reminded 30 times that she doesn't have a boyfriend yet. And you're part of that problem. You just canceled on a date that she got ready for and told someone. Finally there's someone I connect with on the app. I get it. I get it. This is the time. So where she's writing from, we're getting closer to 30. I have a friend who won't stop talking about needs to be married before 30. I get it. Your friend is right because she's just matching the energy of people around her who are also single saying, my God, it's coming. It's happening around us, but it's not happening to me. I get it. You're allowed to feel how you feel. We are all allowed to be annoyed by you feeling out loud. That's who's writing in right now. Her Pinterest is entirely wedding related. I. She's down the rabbit hole. You make a Pinterest 28 with a wedding Pinterest with kind of a boyfriend, whatever. She's. I don't know what she's got, but that's the, that's the 28 year old equivalent of writing Mrs. Johnson in your notebook. It's bad. We're bad. This is bad. Like she's already engaged with six. Her Pinterest is entirely wedding related. Like she's already engaged with six separate boards for quote, reception, vision, dress, vision, ceremony, vision. And she references them when we talk about our friends upcoming weddings. Oh, no. She's taking other people's weddings and making it about her vision board for a fiance that doesn't exist. That's my opening line to her. You have you. Every time we talk about a wedding, you somehow make it about your wedding. That doesn't exist with a fiance who also doesn't exist. We'll give you the floor. Now do you understand why we're starting to get concerned? I mean, I, I think I know where this is going. She recently started dating a guy and is putting tons of pressure on it because he's a lawyer and checks a box for her. Oh my God. She went all out for Valentine's day, decorating her entire apartment with balloons, heart plates, flowers and confetti after only talking to him since around New Year's. Then posted it online to soft launch him. I prayers to that guy. She's better start a vision board for new therapists. I have a vision. She. She looks Jewish with thick glasses. Wouldn't that be funny? A vision board for her therapist that she needs to get. Thick, thick, dark rim glasses. You know, Jewish woman with hair that never got ironed or done like, you know, kind of messy, strewn about hair, Lots of books, leather bound books. Maybe she just throws in a vibrator, you know, for all those nights to calm down after the, you know, the therapy appointment. Yeah, this woman sounds like a nightmare. But are these red flags we should help her avoid? I, I don't know if you can help her avoid her own feelings. How can we? As for her friends, help her focus less on the timeline and more on finding the right person. For some people, the timeline is the goal. The right person might not be the goal for a lot of people. I think that's the thing. You know, I know a lot of women from my angle. Again, this isn't. I can't speak from, I can speak from just the, this kind of, you know, looking through, Peeping through the window. I think you guys all kind of believe we're all holding hands as we walk through the, you know, the turnstile of life. Oh, look at us. We're all going to go. And I do understand why that might be important. I, I never did. I remember someone told me they wanted to have a baby the same time as their sister. And I was like, wow, that's crazy. I would never look at my brother and be like, hey, we gotta have a baby around the same time. But then I was informed and I'm listen. I'm always here listening, learning, watching. I'm one of those people, I'm looking at your boobs and then I'm hearing what you have to say. And my brother and I would never time our babies together. But then my friend, she said, you know, it's nice to have it where with your friends and your sister. Because, you know, you're pregnant together and you go through this together and you take, you know, maternity leave together and you walk together with the baby and you can con, you know, the. This whole it takes a village thing. So I do understand that. That I've come to that I can understand where you're coming from with that. But it, you know, so the timeline thing, for a lot of people, that works into it, you know, where you go. The right guy. The right guy. Some. For some of your friends, the right guy doesn't matter. Is like fifth on the list. So I think you're approaching this wrong when you. When you say, are these red flags we should help her avoid? There is no helping someone feel differently than they feel. You can't tell someone how to feel. How can we, as her friends, help her focus less on the timeline and more on finding the right person? You don't know if the timeline is her objective. So you're really trying to change someone's religion at that point, which you really can't do. We're worried she's getting desperate and want to calm her down before she goes full desperado. I would say she's at full desperado already. You are way too late. Love your show. I've seen you live three times now. Thank you so much. Signed a concerned cohort. You know, I think this is less. I. Here's the problem you have. I don't know if you're married. I don't know what your situation is. But again, to this we're all doing it together thing. A lot of women seem to do. You feel like they have debt with other. With their friends. I think the male loneliness epidemic. The male friendship is shallow. It's very simple, hey, let's go watch the game and not talk. That is a male friendship I have. I could count on one hand the amount of men I talk to on a regular basis about my personal life. You might have best friends and my old best friend and my friend I had a breakup with, like, I've never heard of such a thing. But I will say, when it comes to the wedding, it does feel like there's, like, trading going on, that it feels like there's debt kind of being written. There's IOUs. So you might be sitting here having already gotten married. You're sitting with a friend who's being annoying about not being married, and you feel you have no right to say something to them because they were a good bridesmaid, because they came to your bridal shower and they were Nice to your aunt. And now you're holding back and not really being an honest friend with them and instead wondering, how do I get them to look at the right things in life. You're not their parent, you're their friend. And it's okay for you to say, hey, you're getting annoying. Hey. Every time we talk about a wedding, it somehow becomes a conversation about your wedding that isn't planned yet with a guy that doesn't exist yet. Do you see why this is getting annoying? And you don't have to go into not the right guy. You don't seem to like him. He checks one box. Those are all your opinion that have nothing to do with you. I would stay local. You're going national. Let's keep it local. Hey. And have it in the conversation. Hey. Right now. We have talked about this before. Use facts. Get out of the emotion game. You, oh, I feel your boyfriend is just a box. You check well, you feel wrong. Fuck you. That's what she's going to say to you. So my point to you is let's stick to the facts. The facts are every time we hang out, you're talking about a wedding that doesn't exist. You have vision boards. You're driving me crazy. I'm annoyed. I wrote into a podcast about you. And you know what? I'm not alone. Raise your hand if you think that this person is ruining the party with her. Talk about a wedding that doesn't exist. All the hands go up. Now you're at an intervention. There we are. Put out the punch bowl. Get out the tissue paper. We're going to have some tears. Jtrain podcastmail.com, jtrain podcast@gmail.com. we are sponsor one sponsor today. Brello Health. I love Brello Health because here's. Here's the reality. GP GLP1s are out there. I am on a GLP1 myself. I think there's a lot of misinformation and I think whenever there's misinformation, whenever there's a lack of information, there's fear. I want to help you feel less fearful about something that you might be curious about. That's where Brello Health comes in. If GLP1s are a part of your health plan, check out Brello Health. Brello plans start as low as $133 per month with a three month commitment. Their pricing is transparent and comes at a flat monthly cost. Brello's easy to use app lets you track progress, set reminders and stay on top of renewals. Brello is designed to help support you with built in virtual wellness classes and private online support community. Brello helps you on every step of your wellness journey. So a lot of that read was about money, which again, they're going to help find you an option that might be more affordable than what you're finding on your own. That is first and foremost amazing. I am giving you a secondary reason to get involved with Brello, which is the information part. I listen. It took me a long time to to go on a GLP1 because it felt like I didn't know a lot. Now that I'm on it and I'm learning about it, I feel a lot better about it and I for myself I. I can't say enough good things about what it's done for my life. So that's my journey on a GLP1. But also I understand the fear and I think Brello can help with that. Go to brellohealth.com today to see if you qualify and explore their GLP1 plan starting at $133 per month for your first three months plus access to their app, community and wellness classes. That's B l l o health.com all patients must meet with a health care provider prior to any medication being prescribed or dispensed. Any medications ultimately dispensed to a patient will be done pursuant to a valid prescription from a health care provider. Compounded drug products are not FDA approved. FDA does not evaluate compounded products for safety, effectiveness, quality. Compounded medications are not reviewed or verified by the FDA for safety, effectiveness or quality and are not FDA approved. Not available in all 50 states. So I got two more emails in front of me. Again, join the Patreon. That is a great way. You know, if the sponsor helps you use it, use it. You know, mention the show where it lets you mention the show if you want to help the show. You know, all the money from Patreon goes directly back in the show. It's to pay V and to make sure that we have the podcast up on a daily basis bright and early for you. So five bucks plus you get another podcast. Jared Feather Feather. Congrats on the soon to be book. We have a book. It's coming out. I'm holding it in my hand right now. I got it right next to me walking red flag. Here's. Here's a way. Like I hate the word support because I think the book. I know the book is funny. Like laugh out loud funny. That's been. And it's tough because I have to say that about my own work, but the feedback has been laugh out loud. Funny book about dating. I can promise you the vision of the book was to make you happier as a dater. And I think we achieved that. And I say we. I had a ghostwriter that helped me along the way, Taylor Phillips, who's amazing. I had an editor who was huge and instrumental in, in helping me form the book and putting the outline together. I have an artist that's involved, Ariana, but like maybe on Instagram. She's someone who's been on this podcast. I got her involved to do art for the pot for the book. This was like a, a huge team effort and I'm a straight guy writing about dating and I understand how that comes off. I didn't want to do a straight guy writing about dating telling women what to do. This has been put through a lot of women and I'm proud of that and I think it is. I've been getting a lot of encouragement from those women to speak highly on the book because they all enjoyed it and laughed about it. And it gives you. I think it calms you. I think if you're having. I think the person that was written in for the first email, she should get a copy of the book so you can preorder. Preorder the book. The link is in the bio this episode. I'm always sharing the link. It's. It's all over my website. So pre order the book that is supporting me because I'd like to be on the New York Times bestseller list. That'd be pretty cool. Jared Feather. Feather. Congrats on the soon to be book release and future standup special. I'm a huge fan. Happy for all your success. Thank you. I'm writing in with a true luxury complaint that I need some advice with. I've been married for 13 years and my husband is objectively great. Amazing husband, father, provider, etc. Along with being great, he has a very type A personality. He likes things just right. He hates clutter or a quote, messy house. His idea of messy is a few cups laying out or crumbs on the counter. Honestly, he doesn't even pressure me into cleaning because he prefers to do most of it as he wants to do it right. Lol. Or he wants it done right is what she said in quotes. LOL. He also is an amazing chef and does about 90% of the cooking. Can I marry him? What the fuck. This guy is amazing. Anyways, now to the problem. Anyways, now that I'm done bragging about my husband. My friends all have husbands that are total slobs. They're constantly complaining about how they have to pick up after their husbands and it's like having another child to care for. Everyone goes around and complains and I just stay quiet because what am I supposed to say? Sorry your husband sucked. Mine is great. Yeah, I guess this is a tough problem. It's a weird position to be in. I've tried to join the conversation by saying things like, try having a husband who gets cranky if you leave a water cup out. But needless to say, I don't get a lot of sympathy. Lol. I'm not sure how to be a part of these conversations without seeming tone deaf or raggy. Is continuing to stay quiet the best plan of action? Any advice is welcome. Happily married I I love this email because I there is really not much you can do other than shut up because let's say you make something up. Like what is their kind of equal to sloppy husband? I I that listen, if you were like, my husband can't make me come. Like, I don't think anyone's going to be like, oh, my husband can't make. And then you, everyone's talking about on your back, oh, she hasn't come in months. And look at that guy, that small dick loser. Like, I don't know, you don't want to like make it that your husband gets a bad reputation. Also when you say, when everyone says my husband's a slob and then you're like, oh, I get it. My husband's really clean. He's annoying too. No, no one likes that because you people want you to swim with the current or they can't even listen to you. I have this issue. I've. I've learned to stop. Like I go around the country. When I go around the country and I do shows, I genuinely find something good to say about most cities I go to. I know I've talked a lot of shit on all platforms about every city I've gone to. I make fun of stuff that has redeeming qualities because that's the only fun way to make fun of stuff. You don't make fun of someone that has nothing because that's just me. You're gonna kick someone while they're down. So when I make fun of Buffalo, I make fun of Buffalo because there are nice things about Buffalo. There's a community, there's a sense of togetherness. They love their football team, they have fun food that, you know that they like. They make a Good wing and bratwurst and they, you know, they're all disgusting together. That's nice. And they're all insecure. They all, you know. Do you like Buffalo? I made fun of Buffalo at this point on a monthly basis, but it's because Buffalo has its own thing going for it that I think is very nice. And I can understand if you grew up in Buffalo while you had a great childhood and you have good parents. I can under again, I don't make fun of things that have no. So I make fun of these places. But I also find a lot of value in many places and most all the places I go to. I just went to Beach Mountain again. I would go back. It was fun. The people were very nice. It would be a dream to have a mountain house there. I'm sure all those people are loving their life, so. But what I've noticed is like, anytime I'm like going to Portland, Oregon, I'll use that town as an example. Someone will say to me, oh, Portland, Oregon, the crime, the homeless. And then I'll say to them, well, Portland, you know, I think you're only seeing it through a keyhole. And Portland's actually like a beautiful area and the people are very nice. And for the most part, it's actually one of the best places to do standup comedy because they have all the extremes. They'll have, you know, neo Nazis marching past a Save the Tree, you know, march, and they'll go past each other. And the normal people, you know, they can kind of like level with you and have a fun time in a comedy show because they kind of see how crazy the world can be and how really not sane all these people on the extreme sides of the right and left are. And I, as I'm saying this, I see the person I'm talking to have their eyes roll back into the back of their skulls because they're like, just agree with me. Just tell me Portland sucks and stop being such a fucking loser. And I can understand. So that's if you don't go with the current of what they're saying. These people are just like, just shut up. So your problem is a real problem. I'm happy for you and your great husband and your life that seems wonderful. I'm sure you have your own problems. If I were you, I don't say a word because I'm done defending towns. I, you know, if someone, honestly, when someone says Portland is horrible and crime ridden and disgusting, I'm just like, this is an idiot. I think they're Stupid. They're not thoughtful. They're not nuanced. I want to hang and talk to thoughtful, nuanced people. I don't want to talk to someone that just, you know, yammers on about how gross and disgusting a place that they've never been in. And if someone lives in Portland and said to me, yeah, I really find the homeless issue an issue, and here are three solutions that I wish they would endeavor on, that's a different conversation. These people just like to complain about a city they've never been to and have no solution. So to come back to the husbands that are slobs that they don't seem to care about, I think all you do is go, yeah, that sucks. I would say, yeah, that sucks. Ugh. You could even say, and this is the last option. You know, this is probably what my husband's saying about me. And they wouldn't like that. You know why? Because they'd be like, no, we're perfect. None of us have problems. Our only problems are our husbands who are slobs. That's the. Because that's what happens with these conversations. You just want to be amongst people who agree with you. This is why Dating conversations. You don't want to be dating. Ah, dating's fun. No one wants to be around that person. I fucking hate dating. I hate the dating apps. No one's here. I kind of like going on the dating apps. I get a little. Get a little wet every time I get a match. No one wants to hear that. Unless you're with a bunch of other people. Get wet when they get a match. So this is kind of the problem is, like, people come out hard and fast with their opinions. You're like, ugh, now I gotta, like, kind of, like, nod along with you. Like, you're an Uber driver. I don't want you to smash into a tree. J train podcast@gmail.com. jtrain podcast, gmail.com. i got one more email. Do me a favor, subscribe to the YouTube. That's a fun way to help the show. J Train. Big fan of the U Up in all things jcu, the J Train cinematic universe. Thanks for all the laughs over the years. I'll get right to it. I recently planned a big birthday weekend for my husband and invited all his closest friends, even the ones who live a few hours away. Everyone came to a small city near us, and since they were all in our wedding, we invited their significant others, too. Love it. I knew everyone except his best friend, Allen's girlfriend of one year. Our Group is super laid back and easygoing. We can go months without seeing each other and pick right back up. Everyone is fun and kind except this one. Everyone is fun and kind except this one new addition. Oh. Alan's girlfriend Jenny was rude and condescending the entire 48 hours. She criticized every restaurant, bar, activity, playlist, and even the salsa. That's crazy. I, I, I. Let me just say, if you want a preview of the book, I had a situation like this. I was dating someone who went on a trip, and they're, they're a very nice person. They're, they're, they're great in their own right, and I like that. But we went on a trip and their vibe clashed with other people on the trip. This story is told in the book, so if you want, if you want a preview of how personal the book gets. Yeah, this. I've been on trips where it doesn't go well, so I've been Alan. I kept it together to avoid drama during my husband's birthday and played perfect hostess. But on the drive home, I remembered I already got tickets to a pro sporting event this spring for the whole group. So now what? Do I keep the tickets and put her in her place if she acts up again, or do I scalp them all except ours and enjoy the game? Drama free. What do you do when your friend is clearly dating a nightmare? Sincerely. Ready to, ready. Ready to sell the tickets? Okay, let me. I will say this. Don't get involved. This will take care of itself. This will find the, this will find its way. Here's what Alan and listen, I've been Alan. I've dated someone who came on the trip and the trip didn't go well. That is as far as I'll go with the story. And it didn't go well. Probably because we weren't meant to be. That's okay. Allen and the way men deal with, you know, girlfriends and kind of confide in each other. Allen's your, your, is your husband's best friend. At some point, Allen is going to be pushed away from the group enough because of this new girlfriend that he's gonna feel it and he's gonna go to your husband and say something. You would hope by that point he is okay enough with maybe ending a relationship or, you know, you hope it goes in that direction. I think it will. I don't think you need to, like, get in the way of that. I think you'll hang out with him less. You will see him less and he'll wonder why. And at that point, your Husband's responsibility is to be like Alan. It just doesn't feel like it's working out. Why is it we have drama every time this person's around? But I. I think Alan will notice on his own. I don't think. I don't think you put her in her place. I think if you go, like, again, I mean, on my trip, it did kind of happen that way where we were on the car ride back and one of my friends kind of had an explosion like, like, kind of went at it with my then, you know, girlfriend. And it turned into like a shouting match that, like, went away right away. And it got quiet. Like at you at a dinner table. You only hear, like, the forks and knives. And I will say I got a front row seat to that. And I kind of had a decision and I could see the decision to make. And I think Alan's an adult who was adult enough to make friends with your husband who you love. I think you have to trust that Alan will find his way. But it doesn't need to involve you. You naturally will hang out with Allen less. Allen will either feel that or he will become less of a good friend. And there's nothing you can do about that. That's the way life goes. And it's sad, but maybe people come back to you when they're ready. But I don't think, you know, now what, do I keep the tickets or. And put her in her place if she acts up again? Keep the tickets. They're invited. I think the good part is you pay for the tickets and Alan has until spring to end his relationship. Maybe that happens along the way. And now you don't have to really get involved. And now, because what happens is when you go to Alan, I think just let it be. The, the. The. The ship will write itself. And I'm saying that as the ally, it will happen. Not on your timeline, because if you get involved, it will become this ego thing. Don't tell me what to do. I can date who I want. Maybe you're the piece of shit. And now you're hearing a too honest Allen that doesn't need to be heard. So let it go. Alan will figure it out. Keep the tickets. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Cause you want to have a fun day with your friends. Don't change your day that you're going to this big game with all the crew. And if anything, here's another thing. You're married and you have a good life. That means you have a lot less stories to tell you have no drama or very minimal drama. All your drama is like important life stuff, which is no fun to dissect. Alan and his horrific girlfriend are the gift that keeps on giving to you. You and your husband can talk about another awful couple that is not your own relationship. What a wonderful thing Allen has given you. And you can talk about this person way after they've broken up. You know how many times I've had the conversation about the trip I went on with the girlfriend I was with that made everyone feel like shit? You know how many times my friends have brought that up? And they. I'm sure they love it because now we don't have to talk about them. Jtrain podcastmail.com back next week. Boom.