Jared Freed (0:00)

It's a mailbag. Munder, you got problems there? I'm gonna help you from the comfort of my chair. It's a mailbag. Monday. Hello and welcome to the J Train podcast. This is Jay Train Jared Freed coming live from the West Village of Manhattan. That's right, every Monday is a mailbag Monday. You, the listener, send your emails asking for perspective, and me, the comedian and podcaster, give you just that. That's the whole deal here. And I want you to send in your emails. We need the emails. You're the, you are the gas that makes the J Train go. You're the wood that, you know, the coal that the guy's throwing into the kiln. Is that what it is? Into the fire. I'm wearing that little, you know, conductor's hat, the, the train conductor hat. That's me. And I'm throwing your emails into the fire and it's making us go quickly. I hope this imagery is working to get you to send an email. Relationship, friendship, lifestyle, any thing you're got on your mind that you. And why would you send it to me? Well, your friends lie to you, your family lies to you. You don't trust your family to give you advice that doesn't really ignore the other things that you have going on in your life. Like my mom does that to me. Well, you, you, you never clean up your room. So, you know, your problems aren't problems. That's not, I'm not, I'm not going to do that to you. So it's a Monday mailbag. We have two emails here, two emails, three sponsors. So that's a, that's a tough mathematical thing we got going on here. The sponsors, if you, if they can help you, then use the promo codes and that helps the show. If you want to help the show in another way, you can sign up for patreon. Patreon.com Jared Freed I do coffee with J Train every Friday. You know, the people who are signed up for Patreon, once they're there, it seems they tend to stay there. I tell stories from the week. This past week I talked about going to the doctor and going to Montreal as well as going to LA on a super secret branded trip that it won't be so super secret soon. But I did a podcast out there for you up. So I talk about all that on patreon.com Jared Freed 5 bucks a month plus you get first dibs on ticked off Tuesday to send in your ticked off Tuesday. So all of that is to say I'm also Last announcement. On the road. I'm on the road and I am going far, far away. So Alpharetta, Georgia is the 15th and 16th jaredfree.com for tickets. And then New Zealand and Australia, many, many cities. I mean, I don't read off the cities in New Zealand and Australia because I'm like, if you heard that, if you're in those areas, if you're on those countries, that's where, you know, I would take a look. But I'm doing a whole tour and I'm excited about it. I'm scared. I'm nervous. It'll be my 40th birthday. As I've mentioned many times, I will be flying to New Zealand on my 40th birthday to do shows in Auckland and Melbourne and Sydney, Newcastle, Brisbane, Perth, Adelaide. So if you know anyone in those areas, let them know about the shows. I would love to have them. Maybe. Maybe I'm a taste of home. Or maybe you're like, hey, this guy is fun. I listen to his podcast. I've seen his shows here in the States. You'll love them. That's that truly, you know that, that, that's a truly a compliment. So I take it as that. So those are mine. Oh, otherwise, YouTube, every Saturday, I'm putting a new crowd work clip on YouTube. There's like, now we're building up like that. We're getting to the point where there's like hours of fun on there. Hours of fun. Did I just say that? Yeah, no, I like them. They're fun. They're just light. It's something to, you know, it's. To me, it's something. I watch them as dumb as that. I'm watching myself like a big loser. Yeah, I. You know, sitting in your bed late at night, you need some. Something to just make your brain melt. My YouTube channel. Subscribe. That is very helpful. And liking and all that stuff. All that stuff is like, cost nothing to you. Means the world to me. So we have two emails before we get into it. Hero bread. Live your best life and eat some bread already. Hero bread makes it so you can have your favorite meals without destroying the progress on your health goals. Herobred makes bagels, rolls, croissants, burger, buns that all fit into your lifestyle. Herobred is full of flavor, but ultra low in net carbs, has zero grams of sugar and tons of fiber. All the stuff you want with nothing you don't. So to me, this is math. First of all, the hero bread stuff is delicious. I just had the bagels last night with My dinner, I made egg whites and I put some tomato sauce on the egg whites. And then I toasted up the hero bagels, and I felt satiated without feeling gross. And I think that's what you're looking for from Brett. Sometimes bread weighs you down. I am telling you right now, it's delicious. And if you. Again, to go back to the mathematical equation. Would you like a bagel? If both bagels are delicious, would you like the one that's, you know, low in sugar and zero grams of sugar, tons of fiber, or do you want the other one? Okay, so that's Herobred. Stop making compromises. You can eat the bread and have your dream body. Yeah, listen, I'm not gonna promise your dream body. I'm gonna promise you're gonna feel better. Herobred is offering 10% off your order. Go to Hero Co and use code JTrain at checkout. That's JTraineHero co. So that's our first of three sponsors. All the sponsors are in the description of the episode. Let's get to the email. This is called he did what in bed next to me. The what was capitalized he did what in bed next to me. It's kind of an awkward sentence. I'm assuming something was done next to them in bed. J train. Buckle up. Hold on, let me put on. I'm literally putting on a seatbelt. Let me buckle up. Oh, here we go. Strap in. Daily listener and longtime fan. Well, thank. Thank you. Your show in Batavia last night. Last night. Oh, so this is coming from way back when. Those Batavia shows, the crowd work are on my YouTube channel. My was amazing. My sisters insisted I write in for Mailbag Monday. So here it goes. You're here. You're 23. She says, I'm 23. I started med school in July. Well, first of all, this makes me happy. You say you're a long time fan. I don't know how long you've been listening to this, but thank you. You're 23. You're young. I can't believe I'm connecting with the youths. And you started med school in July. I'm. I'm thoroughly impressed. This is great. I told myself I wouldn't date anyone in my small class, but two months in, I fell for the class clown, as one does. On our second date, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Okay. I said it was too soon for labels, but we kept acting like a couple. Then it got weird. Oh, right before our white coat ceremony. So I don't know what a white coat Ceremony is. I. I know these are like, again, when you're in your world, you know, you go, oh. What is a white coat ceremony? Is a rite of passage for students in healthcare professions such as nursing and medicine. The ceremony marks the transition from studying pre clinical to clinical health sciences and the beginning of a student's professional career. That's pretty cool. I'm happy we looked that up. So that's like a big night, I would assume. And again, the transition from like, pre med to med, I get that. That's kind of how I'm taking it. Then it got weird right before our white coat ceremony, his family said. He said his family didn't like his ex because she wasn't Catholic. He claimed it didn't matter, but wanted their approval before officially dating me. See, a lot of this and I, I do understand. Like, this is one of those things that's like, hey, we're getting to know each other. And it can make. I can understand where it makes you feel like you're just a box to be checked. This kind of like, takes the romantic out of it. Like, do you like me that you. You carried away and you like me and we'll worry about everything later, or do you. Are you looking at me like, will everything fall into place for me? I don't know. And listen, as a guy sitting here, 39, single, I'm guilty of doing that sometimes too. And sometimes. And as I've gotten older, that to me is always the sign of like, jared, this ain't it. Like, don't do this to this person. You know, you don't need to, you know, well, let me make sure that everything's perfect so we. Nothing's ever going to be perfect. And again, this is a young man who's just making sure that getting ahead of issues and dealing with interpersonal with his family and dealing with arguments and dealing with discomfort. This guy wants a comfortable life, and that's just not how life works. And so I understand from your end, it's always weird to the person acting. Honestly, I'm not saying he's being dishonest, but he's trying to get ahead of something which is a little dishonest. Like, he's not even letting his feelings happen. A week later, his sister visited for her for a birthday party I planned. She slept in his bed. I had to remind him to change the sheets. And people mistook them for a couple at the bar. They were super touchy, hugging constantly. Okay, this went in a direction I did not see. He kissed her on the Forehead multiple times. Even though I thought it was weird, I didn't think too much of it. Who am I to judge their family dynamic? Well, you are allowed to judge. I'm judging. You're judging. We're all judging. I don't think. Think this is awkward. This is weird. And also, like, there's a lot going on here. Like when you say, like, he wanted approval from the family before officially dating me. And then all of a sudden, the sister comes and they're just like, holding hands. Like, what's going on? The cherry on top. One morning I woke up to the bed, the bed shaking. I turned around and he was touching himself while scrolling on his phone. I called him out and he claimed he was mindlessly scrolling Instagram. I broke up with him. Broke up with him that morning. Okay, this. This email has taken a billion turns. He moped around school for weeks, and I told him he could stay friends. But my best friend says he's telling people he's still in love with me. My friends think I'm being too nice. I. But I just want things to say civil. Is that weird? Sincerely, Maybe it is. All men, K P. S. I'd like to add that my friend thinks he was looking at his sister's insta. Could this be Sincerely, Men used to go to war and now they masturbate to their sisters. Well, okay, let me give you feedback on how this sounds, because I listen, I appreciate that you're. I'm going to. This is going to be harder on you than maybe you thought. This was going to be the whole sister angle, like, to me, like, the sister angle distracts from the actual subject of this email. And I do understand why you. But also why people do this. That's the entertaining part. That's the, the gross. The. The part that keeps people attention. And I listen. As a person who tells stories for a living, I do understand the. Let me grab at this, like, string. And I'm just saying the sister stuff is. While it is weird and I trust that you found it weird and I agree. Like, you know, but the connection to, like, I. I don't. I don't like to get into false claims and accusations. It. It's just that is way too serious and weird a thing to put on someone. The idea again, like, I'm looking at your email and I'm just taking. Sometimes we write these emails and, like, you don't. You don't know how it sounds or how it comes off. And to me, the email is, I'm sitting next to my boyfriend who we're very early on, and he wants to get serious right away, and I wake up to him masturbating to his phone while in bed with him, and I don't know how to feel about that. And that felt weird, and I ended it, and now we're being friends, right? Like, I think that's more the email not to tell you. I'm not telling you how to feel because you did say you felt weird and you ended it that morning. I think, like, you know, it's one of those things where it's like, if it is the sister that's crazy and weird, and I. I kind. I feel bad for that. Like, I don't even know how to handle, like, how to even respond to that. But I kind of live in the, as I've said on this podcast many times, the bell curve of life, that we're all very similar. And again, as a young man, he's 23. He is still. They, you know, they. What do they say? The frontal lobe of men doesn't develop until 25. Like, he's still, like, maturing into whatever man he's gonna become. And I. And I know, like, again, like, when you say men used to go to war and now they masturbate to their sisters, I get, like, that's, like, a thing I've heard on the Internet. You know, the men used to go to war. Now they, you know, send us fire emojis. I get the joke. I get it. I get why this story plays at the brunch table. I. I hope you understand that I'm not. I don't. I don't buy that. I don't. I'm being real with you, and I have to start with being real. And then I can be funny with these emails if I'm to be real with you. And, you know all this sometimes. Again, now, I'm a little rambly, but, like, there's a lot here. Sometimes it seems that when someone, like, just doesn't like someone and isn't into it, they are looking for all of these pieces of evidence that they can present to their friends and family for why they're turning down someone who likes them. All of us want to be loved and liked and respected, and when you turn that down, it's okay. But I do understand where you kind of feel like maybe you're not allowed to. Like, you've taken yourself out of the game of being able to. Like, I think what happens a lot of times, and I notice this in the emails that I get sent, is that like, if I turn down this guy who's really into me now, I have to vilify him because I want to be able to look for new love and find someone new. And I think I've said this on this podcast before because this email comes into me a lot where it's like, in order for me to be able to complain about dating and complain about how I can't find the right guy and say that, look at maybe all men are the problem for me to be able to be part of that fun. I can't have anyone out there who really likes me and checks a lot of boxes for people that someone could bring up to ruin my fun. Complaint about the people who the dates I can't find. That's a long road. I hope that made sense because to me, like bringing up the sister story and then finding a way to bridge that to he's masturbating in bed and my friend thinks. My friends think I'm being too nice, but I just want to stay civil. We'll get to that part. But you know, he was touching himself. I called him out. He claimed he was mindlessly scrolling Instagram. I broke up with him that morning. He moped around for school for weeks. I told him we could stay friends, but my best friend says he's telling people he's still in love with me. My friends think I'm being too nice, but I just want things to say civil. Is that weird? P.S. i'd like to add, my friend thinks he was looking at his sister. Sister's insect. Could this be. How would your friend know your friend was in bed with you and saw what he was looking at on Insta where he was touching himself? I. This is where again, that was the jump. There is kind of what outs this whole thing for me. The jump you take from your friend has no way of knowing you saw him being closer with his sister than you are comfortable with. That's fine. I trust you. The friend saying maybe he's looking. That is fun. At a table full of your friends where you're screaming and cackling and you know, this guy, I get that. And that has a place in the world. I'm not saying you shouldn't do that. I'm saying going the next step and going and actually believing that and saying, well, maybe that was. I don't really find that fun or entertaining or real. Now, as far as so what it seems via your email and like, listen, do I. Can I. Now let's go back to reality. Do I believe that you were in bed next to a guy, he's on Instagram and he's playing with himself. Of course. That's like. Yes. Do I also validate that? That would gross you out to the point where you go, I gotta rethink how I look at this person? Of course. Totally validated. Do I think it was just that on its own that made you end it right there and then I that my opinion is that it was a buildup of things again. Second date, he wants to be your girlfriend. He's bringing up his family and the Catholic religion and can they will you pass this test? I could understand all of that combines to become a turnoff and why you're out. And the straw that broke the camel's back is this weird interaction in bed. I don't think that you have to then make this guy into his sister to validate why you aren't into him. And now you're keeping him on as a friend. I think you got to break up. I think you know, so that. Let's get to your questions. I just wanted to stay civil. It can stay civil. And you can also ask for your space. Both can be true. Again, this need. And I do think this has happened forever. I'm not saying you're alone or your generation's alone, but like, I do think when you're speaking in men used to go to war and now they're masturbated to their sisters. To me, that's a little bit, that's a little algorithmy. If I'm to give it a new term, it's a little bit like how do I stick out on the algorithm to get people to go fuck that dude? And I'm just not gonna do that. I feel bad. He seems like he's just growing up and trying to figure his shit out. And you're, and also you're both becoming doctors. You're both in the same class. So I get why this is awkward. But I don't think to make it less awkward for you, you need to vilify him and make him into a sister fucker. That's my opinion. So, and, and this is just me going based off an email. And you might go, jerry, you know, well, fuck him. Fine. I, I, I'm not saying he's not got his issues. I'm just saying I can only speak to you. And my advice to you is to walk away from this accusation that you really don't have a lot of evidence on. P.S. i'd like to add my friend thinks he was Looking at this sister's insta. Your friend doesn't know what he was looking at. So that is. Listen, he can be disgusting and not incestual. Like, this is above and beyond you. Why don't do this to this person. You don't like him. That doesn't mean that. That in no way means you don't deserve to find someone that's better for you or that you don't deserve to complain about dating, and you don't deserve to complain about men in general. You can do all those things. Believe me, there's things to complain about. But you don't have to bury the guy. So here's my advice. I think you have to have a talk with this guy. Cut the shit out with the sister shit. Not your problem. Not your. Not. What do they say? Not my. Not my circus. Not my monkeys or some. There's some saying with that. Cut the shit with this incest. Okay, if. If that is true, let's go to the extreme. I would run away from that. That's not your problem to solve or get into or figure out. I would then have a talk with him. Hey, I know we said we could be friends, but this is proving harder for me than I thought it would. Me, me. Keep it in me. I need a break. I know you're trying to heal. I'm trying to heal. But I think that means let's keep our space and let's cut off communication for now so that. So that I can get better and feel better about this. And also, I don't hate you. I'm sorry it didn't work out. And I'm sure he still likes you. You dumped him. It takes time, but I. I guess, you know, some of this is 23 for you and him. You're 23, and. And you want to make sure that you can complain about guys still, so you got to make them into this incest monster. And he's 23 and he's, you know, touching himself in bed next to someone who. That he's dating and bringing up the Catholic Church. You know, kind of make sure you check these boxes. Again, mistakes were made on all ends, but J train podcast@gmail.com. j train podcastmail.com keep sending your emails. I listen. I'm gonna give you my honest opinion whether I listen. This person was a longtime fan. I hope they heard me, and I hope that was caring. I just. The email was icky to me, but, I mean, we got more icky emails. This. Before we get to them. Me undies. It's the season of love. Shouldn't you love the underwear you're putting on? Ditch the stretched out pairs in the back of your drawer and get something new from Me Undies. Their contoured pouch and ball caddy is a total game changer that's going to make you look huge. Take your pick from tons of Valentine's Day prints and styles and even match underwear with someone special. To really kick things up a notch, here's what I would say to you. Great Valentine's Day gift. It's light, it's not. Not cheap, but not expensive. It shows your personality. It shows thoughtfulness. You can get a print that and you can match your partner. And there's just thoughtfulness in this. And here's the thing. I want a gift that's easy, inexpensive and thoughtful on Valentine's Day. Just something to let someone know I care. And I think this is the gift. Everything from Me Undies is so incredibly soft. The fabric truly feels like a hug. Stock up on underwear and then top it off with Meundies loungewear. I love the loungewear. I have the pants. I wear them all the time. For the most comfortable outfit ever this Valentine's Day, good things come in big packages at MeUndies. Get 20% off off your first order plus free shipping in on orders, $75. And over at me undies.com feather with promo code feather, that's me. Undies.com feather promo code feather for 20 off plus free shipping. MeUndies comfort from the outside in. I love that. Make sure. Make sure you go use the promo code. What a great gift. I'm going to read it again this Valentine's Day. Good things come in big packages. Get 20% off your first order plus free shipping on orders $75. And over at meundies.com feather with promo code feather that's me undies.com feather promo code feather for 20% off plus free sh shipping me undies comfort for on the outside. And I just want to give it a second read and a go ahead. We got one more. Okay. And then we're done. All in the description of this episode. Looks aren't everything, but it doesn't hurt to look amazing. Indochino suits will make you look and feel like a million bucks. Every detail of your style. Pick the fabric, the buttons, the lapel shape and more. All this at just a fraction of the price of other companies. Here's the thing there. None of us have bodies that are off the rack. What do I mean? It's tough. An XL at one store isn't an Excel on everyone Made to order made to your body specifications. If it fits well, you're going to feel well. That's the that is how that is the story of my life. And what a great Valentine's Day gift to get someone like a suit that fits them great. Whether you're heading to a wedding or an important meeting at the office, Indochino helps you stand out with without breaking the bank. Visit a showroom to work one on one with an expert style guide to get precisely measured or do it yourself online from the comfort of home. Looks aren't everything, but everything can change with the perfect suit from Indochino. Visit Indochino.com use code J train to get 20% off any purchase of 4.99 or more. That's 20% off at Indo CT C H I N O.com promo code J train that is an amazing offer. And to feel good in a suit is worth so much money. That is my whole thing. All right, one more email My friend's husband won't stop tapping my glass. Ooh, this is Juicy Jared Feather. Feather. I'm a subscriber and always see your show whenever you're in my area. Thank you. I'm 29, single female have been getting weird Instagram behavior from my friend's husband. The first time was a Sunday morning when I woke up to a bunch of Instagram notifications from a friend's husband at 2am he had been liking my pictures going all the way back to 2019. Okay, as you guys may know, I have been talking about this for legitimately years. I call it tapping on the glass as this person referenced that when someone wants to get your attention on social media, they'll like a bunch of your stuff in a row. And it's as if they're tapping at the window pane saying, hey, I'm here, I'm into you. So when it's your friend's husband at 2am liking a bunch of your pictures and why do people like a bunch of pictures in a row? Well, it has you. You. Basically it's you. You are allowing. You can basically say that it meant nothing. That person can go, I just liked a bunch of photos. I'm just supporting your friend. So it can be. You can feign innocence with it. You can say, well, and again, that's going inside the mind of a murderer. Why would someone do that? Well, it's a low, it's a low pressure way of letting someone know I'm here. And if you want to come to the window? You can come to the window. If not, just ignore this and we'll move on. That's what, that's what liking a bunch of pictures is. It is a way of letting someone know without having to risk your own confidence, ego, all that stuff. He only liked two that are. And why do you go farther back? Because you know, again, if you're liking pictures from way back when they look different in the notifications, it shows up. He had been liking my pictures going all the way back to 2019. He only liked pictures that are directly of me. Nothing with a. Only a landscape or pets pictured. I chalked it up to drunk behavior when I'm on with my day. The next weekend he struck at again at 4am well, he picked up where he left off and continued liking all the pictures of just me. Back to 2016. This guy, his. His. His pointer finger must have been numb after this. Jared, this behavior is fl, right? I hate to give like a black or white answer. Yes, I would say it's flirting, especially because of the time. And like let's. What I think is happening is this guy's getting drunk and then the finger gets a little loose. It feels like textbook tapping the glass. I've even taken your advice and used this method myself on single guys I was interested in. Good job. I appreciate using the method. His wife is more of a C level friend. Yeah, he's flirting and we hang out on occasion. He's flirting. I've hung out with her and her husband multiple times and never got weird vibes from him. Besides maybe being a little overly friendly. Well, yeah, now you're going to notice that. And maybe in the moment you're like, oh, this guy's a nice guy. And now with all the likes, you're like, oh, it's overly friendly. Like I can understand how like the, the, the. The. The overall theme changes. Like the headline changes on this guy. So Jared, what do I do? Do I report him to his wife? Do I confront the behavior? I feel so awkward having to see them at upcoming event and I feel very messy getting any more involved. But I do feel like I would want to know if my husband was tapping a friend's glass. Tough one. Let me start at something people don't say a lot. I don't know. I know you wrote in here. I can't tell you what to do. She sent screenshots. Well, I do know what you should do because here's what I didn't want to do. The answer is to unfollow you know, I don't think, you know, if your account is public and one guy who's acting like a dick makes you go, makes you go private, I don't think that's your responsibility. So. But I do see, based on your screenshots, it has follow requests. So it means. That means you are already private. I think you un, you can unfollow someone from your account. And I think when you unfollow someone for if you. So here are the options. One, you go to this woman and you say, hey, this guy's liked a bunch of my pictures. Your husband's been liking a bunch of my pictures. I feel a little weird about it. I just want to let you know, that's option one. Here's the problem there. He can lie. He can go, I was just supporting her. Whatever. I, I, I don't know if that makes your, I, I do think that makes your life more difficult because it's gonna make it awkward with her. It's gonna make it awkward with him. They're probably gonna stay together. Like, if I'm to, like, play this out, look. Oh, okay, again, this is like Medusa. You, you know, cutting off the head and two more grow in its place. Because here are the options. You say to her, hey, your husband's been liking my pictures. I'm gonna make it so he unfollows my account. I just want to let you know I feel uncomfortable by it. Plain and simple. They go back, they have a fight about it, they get divorced. Okay, you did her a huge favor. They're divorced, and goodbye. And now she's. This was the straw that broke the camel's back for her and her relationship. Fine. Or what's more likely to happen? They have an argument about it. He says it's nothing. He was drunk. He just likes some pictures of a friend. And now they're in a worse marriage than they were the day before. And she kind of, like, has a little thing against you, which she shouldn't, but that's kind of how it goes. And he, you know, now he moves on to getting drunk and acting out in other ways, and you don't have to deal with it anymore. That's the. So that's what happens from that option. The other option is to unfollow him from your account and then goodbye. Done. That is to me, the, that's to me. You've done two things. You've sent the message to him, goodbye. He knows he did this. I don't care how drunk he was. He's got to be aware a little bit. He doesn't know how much maybe, but he's done this. He knows he's done this. Now. That is message to him, like, get out of here, shoe. If at any point the wife comes to you and says something along the lines of like, that it was mentioned to her, then you go, yeah, I had to unfollow him. It made me uncomfortable that he was liking all my pictures at 2 in the morning. I don't know what it meant, but I just was like, I'm trying to walk away from any drama at that point. Now we're back to option one and they either get divorced and she's weird with you, or she's. Or they stay together and she's weird with you. But at least that gives you like a first option of him being shooed away and it just ends and you can just walk away from it. And now you know to like, you're not going to be as friendly with them as you thought before. The relationship has changed. Like, there's no coming back. This C level friend now moves to a D level friend. And that's the fault of the husband. And that's probably why they'll never have friends together. And that's why their marriage will be very tough. And that's not your problem. So the other options, you block him. You could do that. You know, I think the unfollow from the private account is kind of the same as the block, but like just a little bit more of like a stern no as opposed to like getting, you know, a little bit more. But the problem, the problem is I can't give you an answer that makes your life back to where it was when it was just simpler. It's always simpler before someone you know reveals themselves. We live in a post. Her husband has liked my pictures at 2 in the morning. Reality, we're not going back. All you can do is move forward. And I think to me, what I would do is the. I would unfollow them from my account. Since you're already private, you're not changing your life for this guy. You're just going back to your regular life and the message is sent. And if it ever comes back to you, you have a really good explanation. Hey, he's liking all my pictures. I felt weird about it. I unfollowed him and I figured, you know, I'm staying out of your issues. Why didn't you tell me at that point? I don't think you're to be blamed for Their marriage issues. I don't really buy into that. I would want to know that she already knows in some way or another. So. And this is like, again, because of the tat, the whole idea of tapping on the glass is blissful, like, naivete that you can always say, oh, I was just liking. So that's kind of what he's banking on. Because let's say you. Let's say in a world, the shot he's taking, if. If this is a flirt, which I do believe it is, is that you're gonna go, hey, start liking his pictures. He is trying to play this game that you've played with other people. You know, the game that you would like a bunch of his pictures back, and then he would like a bunch of your pictures back, and then you DM and, hey, what's going on? And you get flirty in the. In the dms. And then, oh, my wife and I are having issues. We don't really talk anymore. She never really sleeps with me, and we should get coffee. And that's how it all goes. This is like a. This is almost like hacky. How tropey it is, how this is what you hear. It starts in another place, that becomes another thing. Then suddenly we're getting coffee. Then suddenly, you know, he's texting me, and we've gone from DMs to text. Just, again, you did the right thing by. You did the right thing by coming to me. Now you did the right thing by just, like, seeing it, noticing it, and knowing this is fraudulent. The next move is to unfollow him from you. Or you go to the wife with what I said, and plain and simple, hey, I feel uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable. Is tough to debate. So, yeah, these are a modern dating world gets more and more difficult every day. Keep sending your emails, jtrain podcast, gmail.com, and we will be back next week. Boom.