Welcome back, folks. I leave for a little while and the whole country turns into a yard sale run by raccoons with government grants. I step away to “recharge,” and suddenly America’s got flaming cities, illiterate graduates, Google Maps running witness protection for burned neighborhoods, and Democrats trying to hide their catastrophes.

But don’t worry. During my absence, with the help of a few friends, I solved the world’s problems. Completely solved them. Wrapped it up like leftovers at Thanksgiving. Turns out the answer was sitting right there the whole time.

Dump Leftists.

That’s it. That’s the cure. Not a committee. Not a blue-ribbon panel. Not another trillion-dollar infrastructure bill where somehow only the “consultants” get infrastructure. Just dump Leftists.

Because here’s the thing nobody wants to admit out loud: Leftism never voluntarily dies. It survives like glitter in carpet. You think it’s gone, then six years later you find a pronoun in your vacuum cleaner.

And I’m not talking about liberals from thirty years ago. Those people argued taxes and foreign policy. Today’s Leftism is a traveling circus run by emotionally unstable former hall monitors.

These people looked at every functioning institution in America and said, “What if we made it weaker, uglier, and sexually confusing?”

And they did it.

Now, there are two ways to defeat Leftism.

The easy way is economic starvation. Stop feeding it. Stop funding the universities that hate your guts. Stop buying products from companies that think your daughter needs three therapists and a gender consultant before algebra class. Stop subsidizing people who openly despise the nation that made their nonsense possible.

No revenue. Let it collapse under the weight of its own vegan poetry slam.

The hard way? Make Leftists watch Conservatism succeed.

That’s the cruelest punishment imaginable for them. They cannot stand happy, functional people. A conservative family barbecue is like holy water on a demon.

Kids laughing, meat on the grill, dads fixing things voluntarily, nobody screaming about colonialism near the potato salad. It terrifies them.

Because Conservatives commit the unforgivable sin in modern America: we enjoy reality.

Meanwhile Leftists are permanently angry at gravity, biology, merit, math, and sunlight.

Speaking of math, let’s go to academia.

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