My track record is making 2026 look less like a year…

and more like a script I’ve already read.

But I digress. Remnants of my first segment.

There was a time when people climbed Mount Everest to find themselves. Now it turns out, some folks are climbing Everest so someone else can find their insurance policy.

Think about how far we’ve come as a civilization. You travel halfway across the world, train your body to survive oxygen levels that would make a houseplant nervous, you trust your life to a guide who has walked that mountain more times than you’ve walked to your refrigerator, and somewhere between Base Camp and enlightenment, he’s sprinkling baking soda into your soup like he’s seasoning a scam.

Not poison. No, no. That would be crude. This is artisanal fraud. Gastrointestinal sabotage with a purpose. Just enough chaos in your stomach to convince your body it’s dying, your brain it’s altitude sickness, and your insurance company that it’s time to fire up the helicopter like a rideshare for the distressed elite.

And suddenly, your spiritual journey becomes a $19.69 million industry.

According to reports, entire networks were allegedly involved. Guides, helicopter operators, hospital executives, all playing their part like a well-rehearsed orchestra of opportunism. Fake diagnoses. Forged documents. Emergency evacuations that were about as medically necessary as a celebrity apology tour.

Now here’s where it gets interesting. This isn’t just fraud. Fraud is universal. What makes this story sparkle is who is getting played.

Western climbers. Affluent. Insured. Trusting.

Predictable.

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