The Knife: A True Crime Podcast

Episode: Decades in the Dark
Date: September 18, 2025
Hosts: Hannah Smith & Pasha Eaton
Featured Guest: Bert Rosen
Summary Prepared by Podcast Summarizer

Episode Overview

In “Decades in the Dark,” hosts Hannah Smith and Pasha Eaton share the harrowing real-life story of Bert Rosen and his family’s 25-year search for their missing son, Matthew. Through a deeply personal interview with Bert, the episode explores the ripple effects of mental illness, the challenges families face when a loved one disappears, and the limits of the social and legal systems designed to help. The story goes well beyond headlines, delving into the intersection of mental health, criminal justice, and the enduring power of hope.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing the Rosen Family and Matthew’s Disappearance

• Bert Rosen’s Background (02:52)
  Bert Rosen introduces himself, giving a heartfelt description of his long marriage to Carolyn, their four children, and their close-knit family life.
• Matthew as a Child and Student (03:23–04:19)
  Bert characterizes Matthew as intelligent, inquisitive, and happy, active in school and sports—leading a typical life until college.
• Early Signs of Change (04:28–05:32)
  Bert recalls the first signs of Matthew’s mental health struggles during his third year at Virginia Tech—a disturbing letter to the dean signaled something was amiss.

2. Mental Health Crisis & Familial Limits

• Diagnosis and Treatment Resistance (05:32–07:00)
  Matthew was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and prescribed lithium, but discontinued after two weeks due to side effects.
• Powerlessness of Parents (07:03–08:56)
  Bert and Carolyn faced the heartbreaking reality that as Matthew was a legal adult, they could not access his records or mandate care.

  “He would stare at you in a steely sort of a way, just enough to make you uncomfortable being in front of him… We never felt the threat of danger, just discomfort.” – Bert Rosen [07:58]

• Tough Love and Forced Departure (08:56–09:33)
  After refusing help, Matthew was asked to leave home—a decision Bert describes as unimaginable, but ultimately necessary.

3. Matthew’s Struggles & Entrenched Barriers

• Attempts at Normalcy and Legal Issues (10:06–13:27)
  Matthew enrolled at Duquesne University, appearing to stabilize, until an altercation at the registrar’s office led to arrest and felony charges.

  “The judge said, ‘Matthew, let me ask you a couple of questions. One, how do you support yourself?’ And Matthew said, ‘With my feet.’” – Bert Rosen [12:14]

• Criminalization of Mental Health
  The family hoped for a court-mandated psychiatric evaluation, but instead Matthew faced criminal charges and a bench warrant following his release and failure to appear.
• Unmoored and Missing (13:27–14:36)
  Matthew became increasingly transient, moving from city to city, ceasing contact over time.

4. The Lingering Agony of Not Knowing

• Years of Search and Uncertainty (22:18–26:03)
  Bert and Carolyn used every available missing persons resource, never giving up hope.

  “All those years… we kept our landline… so that if Matthew decided to do 411 and decided to try and find us, he could.” – Bert Rosen [22:18]

• Family Rituals
  Matthew’s siblings gathered on his birthday and left a Christmas ornament for him each year, commemorating his absence.

5. A Turn Toward Hope: Community and Advocacy

• Founding Hold On To Hope (26:03–27:28)
  Bert and Carolyn launched ‘Hold On To Hope’ to support families of missing loved ones, inspired by their own journey and others’ loss.

6. Breakthrough: The Call From Alaska

• New Lead After 25 Years (28:05–29:29)
  A cold lead from Pittsburgh PD revealed Matthew was alive in Alaska—astonishing the family who knew he hated cold weather.
• Methodical Search and Confirmation (29:29–31:13)
  With help from connections and technical records (the Alaska Permanent Fund), Bert and Carolyn confirmed Matthew’s location.

7. Emotional Reunion and Rediscovery

• Preparing for Reunion (31:30–33:59)
  Bert, Carolyn, and their daughters traveled to Fairbanks, Alaska, with anticipation and caution, unsure what they’d find.
• First Meeting After 25 Years (34:01–36:41)
  Their chance encounter at a row of rural mailboxes led to an emotional embrace.

  “Carolyn opens up her window and she says, ‘Matthew.’ And he looked up… Carolyn couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak. After we hugged … [Matthew] walked over to Carolyn, threw his arms around her, and all you could hear was this profuse loud wailing coming from Carolyn.” – Bert Rosen [34:03–35:40]

• Life in Alaska (38:48–40:57)
  Matthew’s minimalist, “dry cabin” lifestyle, isolation, and self-published books illustrated both the cost and coping of his struggles.

  “He said, ‘I haven’t had any human contact in little over four years, except to say thank you to the person that delivers his groceries… I sit here, I write, I try and get up at 6am every morning and be in bed by 1am.’” – Bert Rosen [41:16]

8. Building a New Normal

• Family Connection Renewed (42:38–46:31)
  Ongoing conversations via phone and Zoom; plans for holidays together; reflections on how Matthew created a life for himself, even without traditional treatment or relationships.
• Matthew’s Self-Sufficiency
  Despite no close social ties, Matthew manages with government assistance, keen frugality, and personal routines.

9. Closure, Compassion, and Advocacy

• Moments of Forgiveness (47:44–51:27)
  Candid apologies and emotional breakthroughs marked the family’s healing process.

  “I need to apologize for all the pain, all the hurt, all the suffering that I’ve caused you all these years. Will you please forgive me?” – Matthew (retold by Bert) [47:44]

• Matthew’s Decision to Stay Hidden
  Years earlier, authorities found him, but he asked not to be located—to protect his family from further harm.
• Sharing the Story as Advocacy (51:45–53:09)
  Bert’s motivation: to offer hope, destigmatize mental illness, and advance Hold On To Hope’s work.

  “Hope is such a powerful, powerful tool… So don’t give up. Hold on to hope.” – Bert Rosen [53:09]

10. Reflections on Systemic Issues

• Limits of Mental Health and Legal Systems (53:44–55:30)
  Hosts discuss societal gaps: the criminalization of mental illness, lack of options for families, and the contradictory advice parents/youth receive.
• Lithium: Promise and Drawbacks (55:30–57:52)
  Historical context, effectiveness, and high non-adherence rates for lithium (noting 36.3% of new users discontinue within 18 months).

  “If you have this drug available to help you, why wouldn’t you take it? But it’s just never that simple…” – Pasha Eaton [57:23]

• Resources and Advocacy (58:21–59:47)
  Hanah highlights NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and efforts to decriminalize mental illness, train law enforcement in “help, not handcuffs.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Powerlessness & Parental Love:
  “Matthew refused to get any help. And then we said, then you’re not going to be able to continue to live here. And so we watched him pack his roll aboard suitcase, walk down the street, not knowing where he was going.” – Bert Rosen [09:09]
• On Lingering Grief:
  “Carolyn started opening the front door and looking out on our little porch… to see maybe Matthew has shown up. Maybe today’s the day we’re going to find him sleeping on the front porch.” – Bert Rosen [22:18]
• On Reunion:
  “I haven’t had a home cooked meal since I left home, and I never thought I’d have one again, especially not one of yours. He said, gosh, I sure miss that.” – Matthew (via Bert) [50:48]
• On Hope & Advocacy:
  “If this is just another story of son disappears, parents find son, family reunion, we would miss the larger part of this… hope is such a powerful, powerful tool.” – Bert Rosen [51:45]
• On Mental Health & Creativity:
  “There’s some research into there being a genetic connection, like some sort of genetic thing that’s both causing the manic depressive disorder, but is also causing people to be incredibly creative… There’s a higher percentage of poets amongst people with manic depressive disorders.” – Hannah Smith [60:59]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:52] – Bert introduces family history & Matthew’s early life
• [04:28–05:32] – First signs of Matthew’s mental illness
• [08:56–09:33] – The painful ultimatum & Matthew leaves home
• [10:06–13:27] – Graduation hopes dashed; Matthew’s arrest and beginning of missing years
• [22:18–26:03] – Searching for Matthew; coping with his absence
• [28:05–31:13] – New information: Matthew possibly alive in Alaska
• [34:03–36:41] – Family’s emotional reunion in Fairbanks
• [38:48–41:16] – Discovering Matthew’s cabin, life, self-published books
• [42:38–47:44] – Communication restored, plans for holidays, emotional healing
• [51:45–53:09] – Bert’s advocacy, founding Hold On To Hope
• [55:30–57:52] – Lithium: historical and modern perspectives
• [58:21–59:47] – NAMI, mental illness and the criminal justice system
• [60:59] – Reflection on creativity and bipolar disorder

Additional Resources

• Hold On To Hope: hold2hope.org
  Bert & Carolyn Rosen’s nonprofit organization for families of missing persons.
• NAMI: nami.org
  National Alliance on Mental Illness—support and advocacy.
• Matthew’s Books:
  “Twinkle” and “Stellar Propeller” by Matthew Rosen (available on Amazon).

Final Thoughts

This episode provides a nuanced, deeply empathetic portrait of the Rosen family’s decades-long search for their missing son, underscoring the vital interplay between mental health, family, law enforcement, and the enduring need for hope. The ordeal transformed Bert and Carolyn into advocates, channeling their pain into support for others through Hold On To Hope. Ultimately, the story is a testament to resilience, the complexities of mental illness, and the unique, often solitary ways individuals adapt and survive.