Podcast Summary: "The Knife: A True Crime Podcast"

Episode: "One in Infinity"

Date: February 12, 2026
Hosts: Hannah Smith and Patia Eaton
Featured Guest: Jessica Ayers (Jess), "The Singing Widow"

Overview: Main Theme and Purpose

This episode explores the profound, lasting impact of a singular, senseless act of violence. Through the first-person account of Jessica Ayers, listeners are taken deeply into the ripple effects of crime: how a gunshot fired by a neighbor under the influence ended the life of Jess’s husband Justin just days after the birth of their son. The discussion emphasizes the distinction between “accident” and “culpability,” the complicated aftermath of sudden loss, and Jess’s continuing journey as she finds purpose in helping others cope with grief.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meet Jess: The Singing Widow

• Jess introduces herself as an intern therapist, soon to graduate and open a private practice. She also runs the blog "The Singing Widow" where she shares her journey (03:30).
• Jess describes her life in the Florida panhandle, her musical partnership and marriage with Justin, and their love story, which dated back to their church youth group days (04:23).

2. A Love Story Interrupted

• Jess and Justin’s relationship blossomed from their teens, through college, and into a musical partnership in marriage (05:33–09:20).
• They built a life centered around music, enduring typical financial and career worries, but felt deeply connected and blessed (09:20).

3. The Dream of Family and a New Chapter

• Jess recalls the specific moment when she felt ready for motherhood, and how she and Justin joyfully anticipated their son, Jax (09:36–11:55).
• Jax’s traumatic birth and Justin’s reaction to becoming a father are described with moving detail (13:27):

  "He was just grinning from ear to ear...he was always a good person, but he was just changed in that moment when he became a dad." — Jess (13:27)

4. Moments Before Tragedy

• Jess details the first days at home as a family, capturing small but meaningful moments—riding home with “We Are the Champions” on the radio, watching "Game of Thrones" (17:18).
• She describes the anxiety and physical pain from childbirth, the struggle to breastfeed, and fleeting moments of comfort and normalcy (18:00–22:13).

5. The Shooting: A Random, Reckless Act

• While the family gathers with Justin’s relatives, a sudden "pop" sound—mistaken for breaking glass—marks the precise, incomprehensible instant Justin is killed by a stray bullet (22:16–26:33).

  "I hear screaming and I hear his aunt say Justin. Oh my God, Justin. And I mean just slow motion…" — Jess (22:21)

• The utter confusion and chaos ensue: crawling on the ground, being restrained by family, Jess’s desperate attempt to reach Justin (26:33–30:36).

6. Immediate Aftermath: Grief in Motion

• Jess describes her physical and emotional breakdown, needing to be held down by her father, and the police officer’s clinical notification:

  "'Your husband is deceased.' That was the words he said. God, like, I almost feel like I would have rather heard him say, your husband is dead. I don't know why, like the word deceased..." — Jess (34:15)

• The family’s simultaneous panic, trauma, and the logistics of caring for a newborn in the midst of tragedy (30:36–36:02).

7. The Investigation: Uncovering The Shooter

• Police locate the source: a man squatting illegally behind their cul-de-sac, intoxicated and high, firing a gun recklessly (36:02–37:34).
• The shooter’s background as a felon, previous calls to police, failure of authorities to intervene, and his admission (“I usually can’t even squeeze the damn trigger. But this time, it just barely went off”) (37:53).
• Jess notes the complete randomness:

  "They said it was a one in infinity that he made that shot. You know, if he tried to make the shot, he wouldn't have made the shot." — Jess (43:09)

8. Language of Accountability: Accident vs. Responsibility

• A significant discussion centers on rejecting the term “accident” in cases where reckless choices are made:

  "When you fire a gun recklessly, you should expect to hurt someone or kill someone. And in that sense, it's not accidental at all." — Patia Eaton (42:31) "We have to be careful with using that as, like, 'oh, well they were drunk, it was an accident.' Maybe so, but you chose those actions, and those actions took a life, so you are responsible for that." — Jess (44:01)

9. Criminal Justice Process and Emotional Distance

• The shooter pleads guilty via a deal; Jess never directs hatred at him but establishes an emotional boundary, emphasizing complexity over vengeance (41:42–44:57).

10. Aftershocks and Support

• Jess credits her family and friends for their steadfast support, moving in with her parents, and bonding with Jax (45:14).
• Jax’s resemblance and inherited mannerisms from his father bring Jess both joy and bittersweet reminders (46:00).

11. Finding Love and Rebuilding Life

• Jess remarries a man, Don, who honors Justin’s memory and integrates into the family’s traditions (46:07).
• The couple’s struggle with infertility, miscarriage, and eventual joy in the birth of a daughter via IVF highlight Jess’s resilience and openness (47:51).

12. Transformation and Advocacy

• Jess discusses the duality of her life “before” and “after,” profound shifts in faith, and how her own loss fuels her commitment to helping others as a therapist and author (47:55).

  "I know it's weird to say, like, my passion is grief. That sounds really strange, but it is." — Jess (49:20)

• She seeks to support others through life's darkest moments—even as she clarifies, "I haven't been through every experience, but I know for some of us, losing our person... is one of the darkest moments we'll ever live through." (50:28)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "We had one of those relationships that, I don't know, people thought we were special and I thought we were special...He was just...so infectious and kind and loving and just amazing." — Jess (09:12)
• "He had literally just stood to his feet and we heard a pop...that was the moment that everything changed." — Jess (22:21)
• "They said it was a one in infinity that he made that shot. You know, if he tried to make the shot, he wouldn't have made the shot." — Jess (43:09)
• "If you fire a gun recklessly, you should expect to hurt someone or kill someone." — Patia Eaton (42:31)
• "I had no control over anything. And that was one thing I could control. It was hard, but I became really committed to nursing. And it was like, I'd say, like, part of the reason why. Like, it saved me from being too depressed or suicidal or whatever." — Jess (39:37)
• "It's weird that my journey into being a mom was my journey into the most detrimental life changing event, even above being a mom, losing the greatest love of my life. And if that doesn't change you, I don't know what will change you." — Jess (47:55)
• "It's such a burden placed on widows and widowers whose children lose their parents before they maybe have memories of them to sort of make those memories maybe later in life by telling them about their parent." — Patia Eaton (53:26)

Important Timestamps

• 03:30 – Jess introduces herself and her background
• 04:23–09:20 – Early love story with Justin
• 09:36–13:27 – Deciding to start a family; Jax’s birth
• 17:18–22:13 – Newborn days at home; precious family moments
• 22:16–26:33 – The exact moment of the shooting and immediate chaos
• 30:11–36:02 – Aftermath, grief, and Jess’s violent reaction to loss
• 36:02–39:04 – Police investigation; background of the shooter
• 41:42–44:01 – Criminal proceedings, apologies, and Jess’s emotional boundaries
• 45:14–46:07 – Family support; Jax’s resemblance to Justin
• 46:07–47:51 – Remarriage, infertility, and finding hope
• 47:55–50:28 – How loss shaped Jess’s path to becoming a grief counselor
• 51:03–55:24 – Hosts reflect on terminology and the importance of telling these stories

Tone and Language

The episode maintains an empathetic, conversational tone, balancing journalistic rigor with raw, accessible storytelling. Both hosts and Jess candidly address the pain and trauma, but also moments of humor, hope, and the practical realities of day-to-day survival after loss. The language is clear, direct, and respectful, never sensationalizing or diminishing the gravity of what’s recounted.

Conclusion

“One in Infinity” is a searing exploration of the costs of negligence and violence, and the unpredictable paths people take through grief. Jess’s honesty, the hosts’ thoughtful conversation, and the focus on language—including the insistence on accountability—underscore the episode’s broader message: the enduring humanity in stories of crime and loss, and the power of telling them.

For more about Jess’s journey or to connect:

• Find her online as "The Singing Widow."
• Contact the show via Instagram @theknifepodcast.