Podcast Summary: The Knife: A True Crime Podcast

Episode: "When Trust Becomes A Trap"

Hosts: Hannah Smith & Patia Eaton
Guests: Ashley and Crystal (daughters of Donna Nelson)
Date: December 4, 2025

Episode Overview

This emotionally charged episode explores the harrowing true story of Donna Nelson, a devoted mother and community advocate from Western Australia who became ensnared in an international romance scam that ended with her arrest in Tokyo on drug smuggling charges. Through first-hand interviews with her daughters Ashley and Crystal, the hosts unravel how a story of searching for love on the internet turned into a devastating tale of betrayal, incarceration, and resilience. The episode also sheds light on the alarming trend of “elder drug mule” scams and discusses their impact on families and communities.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Donna Nelson: The Person Behind the Headlines

[03:53–05:48]

• Donna was described as a fiercely anti-drug, community-focused Indigenous woman, dedicated to helping youth and those affected by addiction.
• After a painful divorce, Donna longed for love and began online dating, even as her daughters (with their own positive online dating experiences) encouraged caution.

Quote
"She's always dedicated herself to people who need her and she's always been the voice for people who don't have a voice." — Ashley [05:16]

2. The Online Romance with "Kelly"

[06:08–12:49]

• Donna met "Kelly," who said he was divorced, had three children, and traveled globally for work (women’s couture).
• Crystal and Ashley describe how convincing, attentive, and family-oriented Kelly appeared, leading Donna to believe she’d finally found a secure relationship.
• Despite some red flags (never engaging directly with the family, fluctuating identities—"Rex" vs "Kelly," and lack of family interaction on calls), Kelly kept Donna's trust.
• He promised to build a life with her in Australia and buy property.

Quote
"He made himself very palatable to her as a divorcee with children ... He was just like an average older guy ... had his life sorted out." — Ashley [16:08]

3. Planning the Face-to-Face Meeting

[18:21–24:25]

• Plans to meet shifted from Hong Kong to Brazil and finally to Japan, always with last-minute complications—creating urgency and confusion.
• Ticket purchases and departures were repeatedly delayed until Donna finally flew to Japan at the end of December 2022.

Quote
"He wanted a big traditional wedding (in Nigeria) ... I thought, well, that's nice, but I wasn't sure it would really happen yet, because they hadn't met in person." — Crystal [13:25]

4. Donna’s Disappearance and Arrest

[26:18–39:36]

• Using a location app, the daughters saw Donna land in Narita, Tokyo—but she went silent immediately after landing.
• Ash lodged a missing person's report; during her police interview, Kelly called, suspiciously searching for Donna hours after her arrival.
• Donna was arrested for possession of 1.8 kg of methamphetamine, a shock to her anti-drug activist family.

Quote
"He was saying, I just left the airport looking for your mum ... I said ... she landed this morning, why weren't you there this morning to pick her up?" — Ashley [28:19]

• The police and family suspected something was amiss with Kelly immediately.

Quote
"As soon as Mum finished her testimony, that's when the communication ban was lifted and we could finally communicate with our mum ... that whole time, we weren't allowed to write to her, speak to her, anything." — Ashley [44:48]

5. The Scam Mechanics: How Donna Was Trapped

[40:14–44:18]

• Donna was routed through Laos, where a “business partner” of Kelly provided her with a new suitcase (with drugs hidden in its structure).
• She had little time before her flight and was distracted by clothing samples used as a diversion.
• The drugs were expertly concealed in the grooves of the suitcase, undetectable by visual or tactile inspection.

Quote
"So she kind of like lifted the clothing, looked in it, didn't see anything of concern ... She just put her things into the suitcase and quickly got into a taxi and went to the airport." — Ashley [42:31]

• Even a 20-year experienced Japanese customs officer testified he wouldn't have seen the drugs by looking at the suitcase.

6. Legal Proceedings and Life in Japanese Prison

[44:37–50:52]

• Donna spent almost 23 months in custody before her mid-November 2024 trial. Throughout this time, her family had no communication with her.
• The court acknowledged she was a victim of a romance scam and showed some sympathy—sentencing her to six years, though she faced up to twenty.
• Donna is confined for 23.5 hours per day, can write letters (with major delays), and performs work in her cell.

Quote
"She's the strongest person I know ... She thinks of the other women who are her neighbors over there ... She's always looking at, well, this person has it worse than me." — Crystal [58:24]

7. The Aftermath: Families, Grief, and Ongoing Impact

[50:52–57:17]

• Donna’s family stays connected through letters, art, and memories. The story is heartbreaking—her grandchildren grow up without her.
• The scammer, "Kelly"/"Rex," remains at large. The lawyer found evidence he was also targeting other women globally.
• Similar cases have been identified in other countries, indicating a broader organized crime pattern.

8. The Broader Problem: Elder Drug Mule Scams

[60:31–67:15]

• The hosts discuss the prevalence of elder fraud, including tech support and romance scams, and cite relevant statistics:
  • Average financial loss per elder scam victim (age 60+): $30,000
  • Estimated total loss (2023, US): $3.4 billion
• They highlight that FaceTime or video contact doesn’t equate to legitimacy anymore, as technology enables more convincing frauds.
• Red flags and prevention strategies are discussed:
  • Never accept or carry items across borders for someone you’ve only met online.
  • Scammers create urgency to prevent logical decision-making.
  • Always verify stories and never give out personal information over the phone—hang up and call official numbers.

Quote
"Seeing someone on FaceTime ... it doesn't necessarily mean that they're credible or that they're legit." — Patia Eaton [62:31]

Notable Quotes

• "I felt like it wasn't right. I was worried about how she was going to cope. Is her health going to be okay? And it was just very difficult." — Crystal, on hearing the verdict [47:40]
• "She landed at 7 am local time and he wasn't there until 6 pm ... why was he talking about a lawyer at this stage?" — Ashley [32:13]
• "My daughter's wish is always, I wish Nanny could come home now." — Crystal [57:17]
• "You can always take a beat. If they disappear, then that's for the best." — Patia Eaton [66:51]

Noteworthy Moments & Timestamps

• [03:00–06:16] — Introduction to Donna's life, mission, and character.
• [16:08–17:17] — Kelly’s story and how he tailored his persona to win Donna's trust.
• [25:18–27:39] — Family's process tracking Donna’s flight and realizing something is wrong.
• [37:51–39:36] — The moment the family learns of Donna's arrest and shock over the accusation.
• [42:28–44:18] — Description of how the drugs were hidden, highlighting the sophistication of the scam.
• [46:54–47:35] — The court’s verdict and reasoning—she was a victim but should have detected red flags.
• [50:52] — Projected release date: February 2029.
• [62:31–63:08] — Modern romance scam warnings: Facetime/video is not proof.
• [67:52–68:34] — FBI statistics: The huge scale of elder fraud in the U.S.

Reflections and Warnings

• Elder drug mule scams are a growing problem, targeting the trusting and vulnerable via convincing online relationships.
• Even the most vigilant and caring families can be blindsided by sophisticated tactics and international crime syndicates.
• Communication delays and foreign legal systems add layers of trauma.
• Technology advances have made old red flags less relevant; new vigilance is required, and open conversations within families are crucial.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a deeply personal account of the unforeseen dangers of online dating scams and their wide-ranging impact. The story of Donna Nelson is both a cautionary tale and a testament to family resilience. The hosts urge listeners, especially those with aging parents or relatives, to remain vigilant, have proactive conversations about scams, and challenge assumptions about safety in digital relationships.