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I see with brand new eyes no, I've never been so sure Take my head let's run into the unknown this is the beginning. You are listening to the Kristen Boss Podcast. I'm your host, Kristen Boss. As a best selling author and performance coach, I'm on a mission to share about sustainable and purposeful approaches to both business and life. Each week I bring relevant topics that I believe are necessary to create a life of purpose, significance, and meaning. Entrepreneurship is about so much more than growing your bottom line. It's about who you are becoming in the process and building a life that is truly extraordinary. Entrepreneurship is really just the beginning. Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of the podcast. This week I'm excited. I have a very special big announcement for you that I will be sharing with you towards the end of this episode. So lock in. Stay with me because there's a little bit of storytelling leading up to it, but it's going to. My hope is that it serves you and I think you're going to be pretty excited about what I've got coming down the pipeline for you. So I want to talk about this concept that I'm calling Dumpster decisions. And I want to ask you if you have ever, like me, been overstimulated, exhausted, and if my mom ever listens to this episode, she's just going to laugh at me and be like, how is that true? But I will get to the point where I will see enough clutter and if there's enough clutter on my countertops, I will, I will snap. I go into what I call, like, anybody who's been there, it's called rage cleaning, where you just get a trash can and you're like, everything must go. It's all going in the trash. I can't. And nothing is safe. And even my kids know this. Like, even my husband is like, kids, if you want to save your art project, if you ever want to see that again, do not leave it on the counter because, you know, nothing is safe. When mom is, you know, overstimulated and she decides to rage clean, I think we do this same thing with our personal life when it comes to how we approach burnout recovery, hear me out. I believe when we are on the verge of burnout, or we are maybe on the back end of it, or we're in burnout recovery, I think we do something called Dumpster decisions. And I think it's something worth exploring and talking about because I noticed a lot, I did it. And maybe, maybe you do it too. So I kind of Want to point you back, take you back to 2019, maybe. Maybe it was like, 2018. I know. It was, like, pre pandemic. And do you remember Marie Kondo, where she was, like, her cleaning method kind of, you know, swept social media, and if you're not familiar with it, she. Oh, goodness. I can't remember if she is Japanese. I feel like she is Japanese. But she has this approach to cleaning, and it felt like a radical approach at the time. But she would work with people on decluttering and organizing, and it was a very different approach than what most people saw. And so what she would have people do is she would have them go room by room in their house, and in each room, they would take absolutely everything they own and pile it. So we'll just start with the bedroom. Pile everything they own, everything, every piece of clothing, shoes, socks, literally everything into this giant pile on the bed. And then from there, she would have them pick up each item and hold the item and ask, like, does it spark joy? Does this item spark joy? And what was interesting is, in the beginning, people would sit with an item for a long period of time, and the reason why they would hold onto it would be interesting. It'd be like, well, they'd hold onto it for sentimental reasons or nostalgic reasons or guilt. Like, well, somebody bought it for me, so I'd feel bad throwing it away. Or if you're like me, like, oh, well, what if I. What if I wear it someday and maybe I'll, like, drop a few pounds and I can finally wear that, and the tag's been on it for, like, two years or whatever, or, what if I gain a few pounds? I should keep those. Keep those pants. Whatever our reasons are, we tend to negotiate the reason why we hold on to things. And so she would ask them, like, hey, does this spark joy? But what happened was, with a lot of repetition, as they moved through each item, it would become faster for them to identify what truly brought them joy versus something that they could let go. And I will say the letting go wasn't like throwing in the trash. She would have them also do an exercise of, like, acknowledging the item for what it had brought to them prior. Like, oh, you know, thank you for these memories. Thank you for the way it clothed me and served me at this time, and now I release you. And it didn't have to be that long winded every time. But eventually, you know, with time and practice, people were able to discern, like, what is it? Do I want that? I want what aligns for Me, what, what reasons am I holding onto something for myself and not for reasons that no longer serve me? And I think we do this in our personal life. I think we, we owe it to ourselves to take a minute to inventory the things in our life. And so for me to bring you back, I think in my desire to really get aligned in my life and in my healing, I did the. Instead of the Marie Kondo method of like what sparks joy, I did the rage cleaning, overstimulated, throw it all in the dumpster approach to my prior business. Like, I knew, I knew I was. I wanted to do something more expansive and different. I knew I felt very confined and limited to only talking about, you know, marketing and copy and sales. And like, that felt very tedious and limited, especially when I was like, I want to help people on a deeper level. Do I still want them to succeed in business? Absolutely. Do I still want them to win, you know, and grow their paychecks and grow their revenue and see success? Success, Absolutely. But I felt like I was neglecting the human behind it. So I knew, I knew there was a pivot. But I think because. And if you haven't listened to the three part episode of kind of like the Rise and the Fall and the healing of the last business I built, it might not make sense for you to understand of why I, quote, unquote, rage cleaned my life. And that is what I did. I just kind of threw. I just assumed all of it hurt me, none of it serves. I never want to experience that level of pain or emotional suffering again. Therefore, it all must go. And so I think I kind of did a clearance sale, for lack of a better term. Like, if you've ever walked by those stores where it says everything must go, I kind of did that mentally and emotionally with my business. I was just like, it all has to go, you know, letting go of my podcast of the business. And I also knew, like, the audience I was serving at the time, like, felt too limited. I knew I wanted to expand my scope, but I had shut all of it down. And I do think I did it in service to my healing. But what I think I overdid it. And I think I went through the burnout means I have to burn down everything. And I've seen people do this. I've seen people do this when they're either on the brink of burnout. You will know you're on the brink of burnout when you start fantasizing about burning it all down, being like, I will tell you this right now, if you are fantasizing about burning it all down. You are flirting with burnout, my friend. This is, this is a mental and emotional and psychological cue to check in with yourself and ask, okay, where am I depleted? Where have I not poured into myself? Because I would say burnout is when we have overextended or what we are giving and we're not filling our cup with things that truly, to borrow Marie Kondo's language, spark, joy. We do the things I think we end up doing things out of, you know, nostalgia. I owe it to myself. And I even think I talked about this in one last episode of like why we're afraid to pivot. It's either because we have the, we have sunk cost, the sunk cost bias, where it's like, I've already put so much time and effort and energy into this, therefore I have to keep putting time, effort and energy into this. And that's actually how businesses tend to go bankrupt when business owners ignore the signs and they stay in it because of sunk cost bias. Or you know, there may be with this idea of why, why do we hold onto things? I think nostalgia or fear of disappointing people, like, if I let this go, people will be upset with me, they'll be angry. And so there's a lot to contend with when it comes to realign our life with what truly matters for us. And I will also say what matters to you at 20 aren't the same things that matter to you at the age of 30. The things that matter to you at 30 are not the same things that matter to you at 40. And on and on and on. I will tell you, for me, when I set out with my first business, my 30 year old self and how she viewed the world set those terms and she decided what those goals would look like and she decided what success looks like. My fourth 40 year old self has a completely different view on like, what success is, what fulfillment is, what impact is, what happiness is. Did I have to experience a lot of pain to redefine those things? Unfortunately, yes. If I could spare you from some of that pain, I would love to do that. But this idea of like when we are on the precipice of burnout or we are in burnout, I think our natural tendency is to think everything must go, burn it all down. Is there a time and place for that? Maybe. And maybe there is the idea of like, I'm gonna nerd out and use my Harry Potter reference. Like the idea of the phoenix, the bird that like bursts into flames and becomes a pile of ash. And then from the ashes it rebirths and it goes in through this cycle. I do think we do that. I think this is our life. I think we go through, you know, you know, the, the birth, the, the, the glory, so to speak. The, you know, look, I'm a big beautiful bird at the height of our, the height of our beauty. And then in the, in the movie Harry Potter, it's like Harry notices the bird and Dumbledore is like, oh yeah, she's, she's doing a day to like burn up or something or the bird was looking great. Harry's in the office and all of a sudden like the bird just bursts into flames. And Dumbledore says in the, in the book, he says, oh yeah, that bird was looking real sad. It's, it's. Its feathers were molting. It was looking pretty pitiful. It was due, she was due. She was ready to burn up. And I think maybe that's what happens in our life personally. Like, we start looking, we outgrow that version of ourselves. And there is the part that has to burn it down. But does it have to stay burned? Does it mean everything goes in the dumpster and we never see it again? Or is the burning it down really a. More. I'm going to deconstruct or clean out the closet of this era and put it all in the center and at. And sit with each item and ask myself, does this still fit who I am today? This shoe, this piece of clothing, this. I loved it 10 years ago. It fit me like a glove 10 years ago, but it does not fit me or serve me, serve the person I am today. I think this happens in so many areas of our life. And I think when we do this, I think people find freak out. I think people were like, wait, but this used to be my, my favorite outfit that used. This used to be my thing. Why isn't it fulfilling for me anymore? And we have an identity crisis and we think something has gone terribly wrong. I actually don't think anything has gone wrong. I think it's an opportunity for a realignment with the current version of yourself. And if we can remove the shame around it and be like, hey, nothing's wrong with you. This is actually a really healthy part of the human experience to ask yourself, hey, how have I evolved and what gets to come with me in this next step season? So here's what I did. I did the dumpster thing and I threw everything out. And from that place I thought, I can't have a personal brand. I knew I knew I still loved coaching, but I was like, all right, I'll be consulting for larger companies. I'll be consulting leaders. And I've been working with really great people who have massive responsibility and weight on their shoulders, and it's a real privilege to coach them in leadership and performance in these high stakes environments. And so in all of this, what has been interesting is in the past year, I didn't realize this, but I, I told, I told someone that I worked with. I said, I feel like I'm diving back into the dumpster of the things I threw away too soon because I made a dumpster decision from my burnout, thinking it had to. I had to burn it all down and I had to throw it away. And this thing didn't have value. And I found what has been so interesting in the last year and giving myself some distance, some space, some time and reflection there have been. I've been going back to the pile that where I threw everything and thought, I don't think any of this fits anymore. And one at a time, I've been pulling out pieces and being like, I actually. This particular thing lights me up. This particular thing fills me with so much joy and purpose and fulfillment. I'm going to bring it back. One of these was the podcast. I found myself missing it. I was like, gosh, I miss it. I miss talking to my people. I miss their insights. I miss their feedback. I know people will were telling me, like, I listened to it every Monday. I'm excited. I'm like, gosh, I miss it. I don't know how else to describe it. It just felt like a scratch between my shoulder blades that I couldn't reach and it was driving me insane. I'm like, okay. And no part of it felt like obligation. It lit me up. That's when I knew, oh, this is right for me. So I picked up that item. And then as I've been doing more things, like realizing it's time to tell my story, I was holding that close. It's like, all right. It feels right and aligned to tell my story. And then there's been the other thing. And so here's kind of where we're kind of leaning into the reveal in this. There's been one other item that I set down that I didn't think I would pick up so soon. And as I've just been working on this new business in the startup season and healing and kind of realigning myself with, with what feels right and purposeful at this time, I will tell you, I Have to rewind back a little bit to a year ago. So a year ago, when I was in kind of starting my healing process and before we closed the Social Selling Academy, I had this again. The scratch between my shoulder blades that I couldn't reach was I felt like my students were suffering with things that weren't necessarily related to their paycheck in business, and the areas that were suffering was actually impacting their paycheck in their business. And I thought, okay, if I'm only ever talking about their business, but I'm never addressing this, Their big, beautiful life. That is 90%. That is like 90% of their mental real estate that they're thinking about their kids, their spouse, their family, their work, their 9 to 5. The, like, the mental load that they're carrying around on top of trying to be a business owner. If I'm not addressing that 90%, what good is the 10%, especially if the 90% informs and has a direct impact on the 10%? So that's where I was like, it feels like a disservice to not to only be like, all right, let's talk about, you know, your sales, your marketing, when there might be something weighing deeply on them that's preventing them from being consistent, managing their time, why they're procrastinating, why they're spiraling and shame. And so we did this thing where I invited my husband on, and I was like, you know what? We're going to do this thing called beyond the Business Call. And I decided to start a free Facebook community. I was like, hey, you guys can be in here. We're excited to have you. And how we're going to open it up is. Or maybe it was a Facebook community. Later, I can't really remember. All I know is that I announced to all of our students in both our programs in Social Selling Academy and Social Selling Leadership School, I was like, hey, you, life cannot, like, business is not done in a vacuum. I don't know any human that's able to fully compartmentalize and shut off their humanity and show up as a robot and just do their business without while ignoring all other parts of their life. Now, now I'll nuance that and say some of us, ha ha. Me, hi, my name is Kristen. My way of escaping my life was running to my business. So I. That created its own set of problems. So I was able to recognize those people being like, oh, I see my people that are running to business because that gives them more dopamine and validation and happiness and worth and whatever than what's going. Whatever is going on in their personal life, because it's easy. It's easy to go to work and feel good about myself. And so I would see this and I was just like, all right, life isn't like. Business isn't done in a vacuum. Come to this call and I will coach you on anything. Anything you need coaching on, anything that is weighing on you, that is preventing you from showing up that the way you want to. Because most of my audience was entrepreneurs. And some people were like, I haven't worked. And I even put in a little. What's the word? Um, oh, my gosh, it's totally. I'm totally spacing the word right now. But I kind of created a little side note. And I said, even if you haven't worked your business in years, come to this call. I will coach you. And I had a certain number of attendees that we averaged in our academy for our coaching calls. When we opened it up for the beyond the business call, it like 5x'd our normal average attendance. I think we had like 250 people come to that call. And people. It told me people were starving to talk about the things that were impacting their business, but they didn't have a place to sort through it. And so, and we just kept doing it and we kept it at like, I think once a month. And I think in December of last year, we did it every week during the holidays. And I got off every call and my heart was burned, bursting. I'm like, this is. This is it. This is what I care so much about. This is how I want to help people. Did we, did we sometimes talk about their business? Yes, but oftentimes there were like, if someone was coming to their. To the call, they'd be like, I have a. Like, I don't know why I have such a problem with procrastination or time management or productive, like, productivity. And I have all of these tools available to me. And this is where I started to see the gap, friends. This is where I saw the gap. I said, okay, all these people have, like, have a library of knowledge that they can access at any time. Where is. What is the gap between the information and implementation of what they want to be doing? And it was also in. When I was building and developing the leadership school and I was teaching people about how human behavior works at the neuroscience based level, I started to see an overlap and I realized I'm like, oh. Oh, my days. I think, I think this is it. And that's when I knew I was like, this is it. This is. This is solves our infobesity problem. I mentioned that in the last episode. But infobesity is our propensity to take in a ton of information, research and knowledge and all of these things. Online courses and trainings and downloads and PDFs, and we are stuffed like Thanksgiving giving. And we aren't able to mobilize ourself. We're not burning any of the stored energy or stored knowledge. And so it's becoming. It's a massive problem. So I'm like, okay, why is it that people who know better are struggling to do better? And I'm like, wait a minute, this is it. And this is where we started. I started to really unpack and I brought in experts because, you know, I. I'm just like, hey, who can I bring into my circle who are educated experts in the areas of neuroscience, of human behavior, of trauma, of how we are wired, our needs as a human? Like, I know this all fits. And so that's when I realized I was like, okay. And I talked about this in the last episode of how our nervous system is actually the hidden driver to all of your behaviors. And when I realized, I'm like, well, what am I always coaching on? And it's always, if it's not like everybody wants the how, and I will give you the how all day long. That's what I was doing with people. I'm like, I had a whole library of how, how to talk to people, how to start conversations, how to write, copy, how to have a good hook, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how. Listen, listen, listen. You do not need another how. Don't you dare. Don't download another how. You don't. What you actually need is to learn to integrate the information, integrate it into your brain, into your body, and implement it and consistently do so. This is the massive gap I saw. And so I'm like, wait a minute. If we can help people bring their brain back online faster because do you know what? In the front of your brain, we're going to get a little, a little nerdy here. In the front of your brain, that is where your executive function, your ability to prioritize tasks, that is where your critical thinking is. Your ability to be curious, your ability to be empathetic and understand things from somebody else's lens, your ability to prioritize urgent tasks, your ability to, again, critical reasoning, critical thinking, all of that is in the frontal lobe of your brain. When you are activated, when your nervous system senses any kind of threat, this is a threat to your sense of belonging. Which by the way, your fear of judgment threatens your sense of belonging. Your sense of security, which by the way, if you're freaking out about paying your mortgage, that's your body's sense of security. That feels at threat. You feel like you're misunderstood. That again triggers your sense of belonging. You see where I'm going here? Your nervous system, it is quite primal. All it cares about is how we can get away from the thing or offload the stress or whatever trigger is causing us to have a fight flight fawn or freeze response. And I could watch, I watched this as I listen. When you've coached thousands of people and you've watched their faces for years and years, I could literally picture the faces of my students, the ones that would be chronically in freeze response where they would sit with the information. They would have a to do list. They would have a little task list of what they were setting out to do. And as soon as they sat at the computer it was like their brain got erased. They would suddenly like forget everything that they were going to do or you know, or they would suddenly be like, oh, I forgot. Or they would suddenly feel ill equipped and they'd be like, I think I need to go watch one more training, prepare myself a little bit more. I need more analysis. Or I would watch people with a, with a fawn response. I would watch them over and over, feel so worried about their dreams, their goals, their business maybe being an inconvenience to someone they love or taking away time from someone they love where they felt so consumed by guilt that they would be like, I don't think I should have a business because it's taking from others. I'd watch them collapse. I'd watch my flight people, people that were like discomfort don't do that. They'd be lost in the scroll. As soon as they sit down to work, they're like, what's that? Is that my laundry? What other things can I get doing? They would procrastinate. Or I'd watch my people in my fight response that would be like just an over anxious mess where they would, where they would run 100 miles an hour and burn out two days later. Or they would, they would take on too many tasks or they would have such perfectionistic standards that nothing would get put out. Do you hear what I'm saying? I could, I looked at all of these things and I'm like, this is not a knowledge problem or a strategy problem. What we have is a dysregulation problem. We have people whose nervous systems are chronically in a state of fight, flight, fawn or freeze. They do not know how to get their body out of that state in order to access their frontal lobe, where all of the critical thinking is, where they're able to actually access the strategy and implement the strategy. Friends, do you realize how profound this is? The nervous system. Nervous system regulation has kind of been hanging out in the therapy spaces. That's kind of been hanging out in like trauma, PTSD and therapy. But the conversation about pairing nervous system intelligence, meaning understanding when your body is going into some form of stress response, being able to identify that and regulate in real time, meaning get out of your back, the back of your brain, calm yourself down so your brain doesn't no longer register as a threat and you can actually access your frontal lobe and actually implement and do the thing. You guys, no, it's not happening. That's where I saw this massive gap. I was like, no one is teaching how the nervous system is the key to absolutely everything. How, how you respond to your children, how you respond to your spouse, your coworkers, the social media. If you are chronically exhausted, hear me out. If you are on social media and you are exhaust, you get off and you are exhausted, angry, frustrated, emotionally down, confused, you find yourself wanting to eat or shop. I promise you that in some form, social media has you dysregulated. Your nervous system is dysregulated, meaning you are feeling some form of stress response. And so your body is going to be like, I feel all kinds of wired. I don't feel good. And so I'm not surprised when people are like, kristen, I hate being on social media. I hate it. I'm like, well, how are you caring for yourself if you're already stimulated in your everyday life and you go online and you literally watch the dumpster fire that is the Internet and you don't have parameters in place to care for your mental health, to regulate yourself as soon as you're done scrolling and then you're going to put your phone down and go into the chaos of your everyday. Are you tired? I just can't help but wonder, like, how tired do you have to be to realize, oh, I might actually need to do something about this? And we are early in the conversation when it comes to nervous system intelligence and how that directly impacts high performance and leadership and productivity and how you show up in your everyday. And that is where I was like, this is what it is. This is where we're going. And that is that was the birth of Sandara, our new company. And if you're like, where's the name come from? Sonder means it's the realization that everyone around you is living a rich and complex life just like you are. They're the main character in their own story and their life is just as nuanced and complex as yours. It's almost a story of empathy. And then obviously era the start of a new chapter. And so putting that together, Sandara. And so we built this library of tools because I was like, I don't want to have a library that's like a huge course where people have to go in and consume a bunch of knowledge. What if I could create a mental gym where people can pick up a tool and use it in real time, in real life when they are dysregulated? What if we can teach people how to understand their unique nervous system response? And we actually developed 10 different personality types, essentially like we call them adaptive personality types. It's how you adapt to stress when it happens in real time, when your nervous system is triggered, most people like, of course you're going to have a different response based on the scenario. But we have found most people will default to one primary, primary type of stress response. There are some people that primarily they're, they're a fighter or a freeze or a fawn. And based on that, it's like, okay, now that we understand that one size cannot fit all. Meaning I this guys, this is why handing someone the how does not work unless you understand who, who they are and where. I'm like, wait, hold on. If someone can understand how they're wired, how they are neurologically and psychologically wired to handle stress, we've just handed them the secret code because they will understand. Oh, wait, hold on. Somebody who is a freeze response will have a com has to approach goals completely differently than somebody who is a fawn response, a fight response or a flight response. Every single nervous system takes in stimuli or circumstances differently. This is why I can hand out a playbook to every single person and there's going to be, there's going to be a million different results because everyone is integrating and implementing or not implementing the information differently. But I'm like, man, if we could give people tools based on how they're wired, if we can teach them how to regulate in real time, we around these areas in life, they can do anything. And so that's what we built. We built the Sondera membership. And you know, that's all well and good. That was what I built. And then we're coming back to my special announcement. So I had that and it's been great. I will, I'll tell you for. But one of the things that we built in there was just like, okay, how do we help people measure change and success if it's not, if it can't be just about somebody growing their paycheck? Like, how are we measuring success outside of that? Especially if someone is wanting to measure like their relationships, their communication skills, their, their resilience, their grit, their time management, their productivity, how they're utilizing support, how they're handling, how they're, how they're showing up in the workplace, all of those things. We're like, well, how do we measure those if it can't be measured always by a paycheck? Like, how does the stay at home mom measure this change without, if she, if there's not a paycheck? Or how does, you know, a man measure, you know, his success with his wife at home that's not showing up on a paycheck? And so it's just like, all right, so how are we doing this? So one of the things we did was we're like, okay, what if people can audit, take an audit of how their stress, how they're essentially how their primary stress response, how they respond and adapt to stress, to pressure when it hits. If we can get them to score across six different areas of life and kind of be able to know where they're bleeding. And so the six different areas is identity and confidence, productivity and time management. Career and finance. Relationships. Yeah, relationships. And then we have emotional regulation and stress management and oh, wellness, Goodness, wellness. Your overall health. Sorry guys, it took me a while to get through that. But in those six different categories. So if we're like, okay, if someone could assess, score across these six areas anytime, like if they did this monthly or quarterly, they could actually actively look at, so to speak, where they are bleeding. And we can actually teach people to triage where their pain is. And then from there, like they're always able to grow. And then we created another thing where we're like, what if we can actually score how people are, their resilience, how quickly they're able to come back from conflict, how they're able to handle emotional stress, how they're able to bounce back from conflict in real time, how they're able to ask for help when needed. So we, we have these six areas that kind of score what we call your cognitive flexibility or your stress response. It's your emotional resilience. Index like how resilient are you when it comes to conflict and those things. So we built that and here's the crazy thing. So we launched in May and we've had our clients and we also have, so we have our membership and then we have people that work one on one with our certified coaches that went through an extreme vetting process. And our coaches are amazing. And so what we saw, what we have been seeing is people with their emotional resilience index scores were almost doubling after 60 days when they were taught the regulation skills, when they were using the tools. And then we were actually noticing what was coming up in their life audit, how they scored across the six areas and they were actively able to see measurable change in the areas that they were cause that had been causing them pain. That's where, where I'm like, we have to be able to measure people winning in this. And so we did that. And I'm like, oh, this is so great. And so that's when I realized all well and good, but, but my heart. I still had the, I still had the itch between my shoulder blades. And that's when I knew what I was missing so much. I was missing coaching. I used to sit once a week and get on a zoom with the students and they could bring any. It was limited to business for, for two years, but they'd, they'd get on and I'd coach them. And it was the best part of my week. And when the company scaled and grew, I'll own it. I think I made. Do I want to call it a mistake? Sure, whatever. My ego is like so beat to a pulp at this point. I'm like, fine. I'll say it on my podcast. Like, did I maybe. Do I regret that feels better? Do I regret scaling away from coaching weekly? I do, I do. I don't think I realized just how life giving and vital it was to me. I don't think I realized how much joy it sparked until I had scaled away from it and I had become a company owner and I was less of a coach. And I couldn't identify why I was so miserable. You know why? Because I had moved myself away from the thing that brought me so much joy, so much fulfillment, where I could actually see on the screen somebody having a breakthrough and realizing that I wasn't seeing that anymore. It was, I don't know, I just wasn't happy. And so I'm like, wait, I missed this. And I started. I've since started working privately with clients this year of people that Own, you know, large businesses and they have a large income. And so there is like, I have my, my private clients and I'm like, oh my goodness. I starting with my private clients. I was like, I missed this so much. I was so happy. Like, they're the best part of my week. I'm like, you know what, I'm bringing this back. I'm coming back to coaching. This is the big, this is the big announcement. I'm coming back to coaching weekly. And we are offering, we have our, like a DIY option for our Sondera membership, which is like, if you just want the tools or access to the gym where you have all the equipment, you can understand yourself. You can take the adaptive personality type quiz, learn about yourself. It's a 26 page report. I mean, you're going to feel like we've read your diary and we have cameras installed in your house. We've had people say, like, I, I've never understood myself at this level ever. And I've taken every personality test out there. We've had, by the way, all of our material is, is backed by an advisory board of psychologists and therapists and people that specialize in neuroscience. So like, this isn't pseudoscience. This is actually stuff that we've brought in people to help make sure that we are doing it right by you. But this is where people, we've even had licensed therapists come in, not, not on my board and be like, I am blown away by how accurate these reports are. And so from that, once you have the awareness, then you can actually learn to retrain and rewire your brain to handle your stress differently, how you respond to things. And so that is what Sandara is like. We cover the six areas in the life audit. And I was just like, I want to be back in the chair. I want to be coaching people. This is what makes my heart so happy. And so we are starting that in November, friends, like, I'm back in the coaching chair in November. So if you're like, I want access to weekly coaching, you're going to want to check the link in my show notes. Um, we've got emails going out, but this is, this is. I am so delighted to be able to do this. And so we actually sent an email out and we asked like, hey, what, what's most important to you? What do you want coaching on? Like, what's coming up for you? I was floored. The number one thing that came up for people kind of blew my mind was identity and confidence. Those were the biggest ones and then, of course, we heard time management, productivity, and relationships. I was like, done. Say less. I've got you. We are finally going to tackle this at the root. We're not going to be treating this symptomatically with strategic medicine. Listen, strategy's all well and good, but if you have a nervous system that is chronically dysregulated, strategy will never show up for you when you need it. Because we do not default to strategy. We default to survival every time we feel unsafe or triggered. This is why some people are like, why do I procrastinate? Why do I overthink? Why am I prone to distraction? Why do I micromanage? Why do I. People, please. I'd be like, it's your nervous system, and we're actually going to teach you how to do this. We're going to give you the tools, and it's going to be. And none of it is, like, this cumbersome. Like, great, now I have to watch this one hour, one hour thing and fill out a workbook. I mean, if you want to, but you don't have to. It's like, hey, here's the tools. Here's how to understand yourself. And then come to weekly coaching, and we will help you integrate. That is what. That is what it's about. Like, it's not a how to. The weekly coaching is for integration and implementation in any of the six areas of your life. We'll have themed calls. I. I'm just. I'm beyond pumped, guys. If you haven't. If you haven't been able to catch my. My vibe this whole. This whole episode. So listen, that was my big, exciting announcement, but I'm just going to circle back to the whole. You know, when you're burning out, I know you're tempted to burn it all down, but that might not be the answer. What might be the better answer is to. Is to take it all and put it into a big pile. Put it all there. There is nothing sacred. Like, there is nothing that's. Like, I know for sure that I want this. So I'm not gonna put in the pile. No, everything goes in the pile. Not the dumpster. Everything goes in the pile. And being willing to sit with each thing and ask, but why? Why do I feel the need to hold on to this? And do I like those reason? If the reason is like, I don't want to disappoint people, do you like that reason? Ew. I don't like that reason. Maybe it's because I'm 40 and I'm like, I don't want to live my life afraid of disappointing people. And chances are I'm already a disappointment. I'm already a disappointment to someone out there, so might as well just go full steam ahead and be like, cool, I'm disappointing somebody. But do you know who I'm done disappointing is myself. And maybe you're done disappointing yourself, too. So here's what I want to encourage you to do. If you're tinkering on the edge of burnout, if you've done burnout, if you're dancing with burnout, if you're like, I don't do burnout, whatever, have you, be willing to ask the hard questions of like, is this aligned with who I am today? This served me five years ago. This served me two years ago. Does it still serve me now? And what is the most loving decision I can make that honors that version of me today? And it might be relationships. There might be someone you need to say goodbye to. And it might not be a goodbye. It might just be like a. I'm just gonna have boundaries in place and I'm not gonna initiate anymore. I've had plenty of those. Maybe that's a whole man. Should we do a podcast episode on, like, friendship breakups and you're an adulthood is. Oh, my gosh, no one prepared me for that. Anyways, I digress. Friends, we have a special going on if you join before November 1st, so be sure to check this show notes. Join me in there. I'd love to coach you up. I've had so many people over the years say, I'd love to be in your programs, but I'm not the audience you serve. I'd be like, guess what? If you're a dysregulated human being that struggles with nervous system regulation, if you also feel stress from time to time, newsflash, you do. If you are also wanting to improve any area of your life, guess what? You're my people, and we're. We want you there. So, friends, I hope you're ready for a good ride. I've got lots more good episodes coming your way. I hope you have a really fantastic week, and I hope we see you inside the Sandera Signature membership that includes live weekly coaching. All right, friends, we'll see you next week. Have a fantastic week. This is the beginning. That's a wrap for today's episode. Listen, if you love what you heard here today, I would love for you to leave a real quick rating and a review. This helps the show get discovered by new people. Be sure to take a screenshot of today's episode and shout us out on Instagram. We'll shout you right back out. If you'd like to find additional resources or discover how to work with me, head to www.kristenboss.com. it starts right here.