The Kristen Boss Podcast

Episode 234: Dumpster Decisions and Burnout Recovery

Host: Kristen Boss
Air Date: October 13, 2025

Episode Overview

In this solo episode, Kristen Boss explores the tendency to make “Dumpster Decisions” while experiencing or recovering from burnout—those all-or-nothing choices to abandon everything that once mattered. Drawing from her own journey of building and ultimately exiting a $20 million business, Kristen reflects on the patterns and opportunities in burnout recovery, personal alignment, and sustainable entrepreneurship. Through storytelling and actionable insights, she also reveals her return to weekly coaching and introduces updates from her new venture, Sondera.

Key Points and Insights

1. What Are "Dumpster Decisions"?

• Kristen introduces the concept by likening it to “rage cleaning”—the urge to throw everything into the trash during a moment of overwhelm.
  “If there’s enough clutter on my countertops, I will snap. I go into what I call... rage cleaning, where you just get a trash can and you’re like, everything must go.” [03:45]
• She observes that many people do this in their personal and professional lives, especially when facing burnout.

2. The Marie Kondo Comparison

• Kristen references Marie Kondo’s decluttering method and how it contrasts with the emotional “everything must go” approach she calls “dumpster decisions.”
  • Marie Kondo: deliberate consideration of what to keep based on what sparks joy—intentional, appreciative letting go.
  • Dumpster Decisions: reactionary, sweeping rejection of all things connected with a painful or burnt-out experience.
• “I did the rage cleaning, overstimulated, throw it all in the dumpster approach to my prior business... I kind of did a clearance sale, for lack of a better term.” [11:08]

3. Burnout Isn't Always About "Burning It All Down"

• Kristen cautions listeners to notice the signs:
  “If you are fantasizing about burning it all down, you are flirting with burnout, my friend. This is a cue to check in with yourself and ask, where am I depleted?” [17:05]
• Instead of defaulting to destruction, she encourages a process of conscious inventory and reflection:
  • Place everything “in a pile”—metaphorically gather together all facets of your life or business.
  • Re-examine each element for alignment with your present self and values.
• “We owe it to ourselves to take a minute to inventory the things in our life.” [10:10]

4. Seasons of Identity and Redefinition

• Kristen shares how her view of success, fulfillment, and impact have dramatically shifted from her 30s to her 40s.
• She normalizes outgrowing old dreams and emphasizes that identity shifts are a healthy part of personal and entrepreneurial evolution.
  • “Nothing’s wrong with you. This is actually a really healthy part of the human experience to ask yourself: how have I evolved, and what gets to come with me in this next season?” [23:52]

5. The Phoenix Metaphor

• She likens personal evolution to the phoenix cycle from Harry Potter—death by fire, followed by rebirth:
  • “Does it have to stay burned? Or is the burning down really a... deconstruction or cleaning out the closet of this era?” [21:39]

6. Reclaiming What Was Discarded Too Soon

• Kristen admits some aspects of her prior work, thrown out hastily during burnout, still held value.
• “I feel like I’m diving back into the dumpster of the things I threw away too soon because I made a dumpster decision from my burnout.” [25:30]
• She describes the process of “picking up” pieces like her podcast and coaching practice after realizing how much they still inspired her.

7. The Root Cause: Nervous System Dysregulation

• Kristen transitions into a discussion about why “how-to” strategies fail when the underlying issue is nervous system dysregulation.
• She describes four primary stress responses—fight, flight, freeze, fawn—and how each impacts behavior, productivity, and fulfillment.
• “What we have is a dysregulation problem. We have people whose nervous systems are chronically in a state of fight, flight, fawn, or freeze.” [54:20]
• She underscores the gap between knowing what to do and being able to do it under stress.

8. The Birth of Sondera

• Kristen introduces her new company, Sondera—a membership-based mental “gym” focused on nervous system regulation and tailored tools for high performance.
• Sondera combines “sonder” (recognition of others’ rich inner lives) with “era” (a new chapter).
• Members can:
  • Take an “adaptive personality type” assessment (10 types based on stress response).
  • Get a detailed 26-page report.
  • Participate in live coaching and practical, real-time tools—not more training modules.
• “I don’t want to have a library that’s like a huge course... What if I could create a mental gym?” [59:45]

9. Measuring Success Beyond Paychecks

• Sondera measures progress across six domains: identity & confidence, productivity & time management, career & finance, relationships, emotional regulation, and wellness.
• Introduction of the Emotional Resilience Index—a quantifiable metric for growth in emotional capacity and resilience.
• “We have to be able to measure people winning in this.” [1:06:10]

10. Kristen’s Big Announcement: Her Return to Weekly Coaching

• After realizing how much she missed direct interaction and coaching, Kristen announces her return to weekly live group coaching through Sondera starting in November.
• “Did I regret scaling away from coaching weekly? I do, I do. ...I missed this so much. I was so happy.” [1:11:05]
• The coaching is open to anyone seeking growth in the six key life domains, regardless of entrepreneurial status.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Burnout and Burn-it-All-Down Fantasies

  • "If you are fantasizing about burning it all down, you are flirting with burnout, my friend. This is a cue to check in with yourself and ask, ‘where am I depleted?’" [17:05]

• On Letting Go & Realignment

  • "Nothing’s wrong with you. This is actually a really healthy part of the human experience to ask yourself: how have I evolved, and what gets to come with me in this next season?" [23:52]

• On Why “How-To” Doesn’t Work for Everyone

  • "You do not need another ‘how.’ What you actually need is to learn to integrate the information, integrate it into your brain and your body, and implement it consistently. This is the massive gap I saw." [50:19]

• On Nervous System & Performance

  • "What we have is a dysregulation problem. We have people whose nervous systems are chronically in a state of fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. They do not know how to get their body out of that state in order to access their frontal lobe, where all of the critical thinking is, where they’re able to actually access the strategy and implement the strategy." [54:20]

• On Discarding Too Much in Recovery

  • "I feel like I'm diving back into the dumpster of the things I threw away too soon because I made a dumpster decision from my burnout." [25:30]

• On Returning to What Feels Aligned

  • "I’m done disappointing myself. And maybe you’re done disappointing yourself, too." [1:23:05]

• On Sondera’s Unique Value

  • "If we could give people tools based on how they're wired, if we can teach them how to regulate in real time... they can do anything. That's what we built. We built the Sondera membership." [1:03:13]

• Kristen’s Excitement on Returning to Coaching

  • "I'm back in the coaching chair in November. So if you’re like, ‘I want access to weekly coaching,’ you're going to want to check the link in my show notes. I am so delighted to be able to do this." [1:18:30]

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |--------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:45–11:00 | Dumpster Decisions, Overstimulation, and Rage Cleaning (Metaphor) | | 11:08–17:05 | Marie Kondo, Clutter, and Aligning with What Sparks Joy | | 17:05–21:39 | Signs of Burnout & The All-or-Nothing Mentality | | 21:39–23:52 | Phoenix Metaphor: Deconstruction and Rebirth | | 23:52–25:30 | Evolution of Identity; Outgrowing Previous Definitions of Success | | 25:30–31:13 | Realizing What Was Lost in Reaction and Recovery | | 35:00–54:20 | The Role of the Nervous System in Implementation and Productivity | | 54:20–59:45 | Experiencing/Observing Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn in Life and Business | | 59:45–1:06:10| Introducing Sondera: Structure and Purpose | | 1:06:10–1:11:05| How Sondera Measures Progress & Outcomes in Life Domains | | 1:11:05–1:18:30| Kristen’s Personal Reflection and Announcement: Returning to Weekly Coaching | | 1:18:30–end | Summing Up: Burnout, Alignment, and Opportunity for Listeners |

Final Takeaways

• Stress, burnout, and transitions can cause knee-jerk “all-or-nothing” decisions that may cut us off from meaningful parts of our lives or careers.
• True recovery and alignment come from thoughtful reflection, honest assessment of our evolving needs and desires, and not from indiscriminate clearing of our metaphorical shelves.
• Sustainable success isn’t about having the right “how,” but about addressing what’s really going on under the surface—often beginning with our nervous system and capacity for self-regulation.
• Kristen’s journey—rage cleaning her life, rediscovering what sparks joy, and consciously returning to meaningful work—serves as a model for entrepreneurs, leaders, and anyone navigating big transitions.
• Sondera, her new company, offers assessment, practical tools, and soon, weekly live group coaching designed to support authentic growth, not just in business but in all key areas of life.

For more:
Kristen encourages listeners interested in addressing their own stress patterns and seeking integrated, actionable support to check out the Sondera membership (link in show notes). Weekly live coaching begins in November.