The Kristen Boss Podcast
Episode 241: Hope Hustler: Addicted to the Idea of Change
Host: Kristen Boss
Date: December 1, 2025
Episode Overview
In this episode, Kristen Boss dives deep into the psychology behind why so many people—especially entrepreneurs and goal-getters—struggle with true, lasting change. She challenges listeners who identify as “hope hustlers”—people addicted to the feeling of transformation and the rush of new beginnings, yet unable to consistently follow through. Kristen unpacks the cyclical nature of chasing novelty rather than embracing the slow, often uncomfortable process of sustainable transformation. With both candor and empathy, she offers practical insights on breaking this cycle, increasing self-trust, building tolerance for discomfort, and finding true alignment in goals.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Defining the "Hope Hustler" (04:58 – 09:44)
- Who is a Hope Hustler?
- Loves the idea of changing their life but struggles with actual implementation.
- Thrives on fresh starts: new journals, books, programs, routines—but falters when novelty fades.
- All-or-nothing mindset: “I’m going to implement everything next year!” (09:15)
- Critical distinction: Desire isn’t the problem; it’s tolerance for the uncomfortable parts of sustained change.
“A hope hustler is the person who loves the idea of changing their life… but when it comes to the actual work, the effort, the grind, the process of it, they’re not in love with the process.” – Kristen (08:05)
2. The Hope Hustler Cycle (26:52 – 34:40)
- The motivation surge → buying tools, making elaborate plans, starting strong.
- When excitement drops, resistance and boredom creep in.
- Micro-negotiations and “quiet quits” begin; the cycle resets with a new shiny program or plan.
- Linked to dopamine-driven behaviors, not laziness or lack of motivation.
“Hope hustlers are addicted to the feeling of possibility. But when that feeling fades and discomfort starts to creep in, your brain goes searching for the next place that’s going to provide you novelty and excitement and dopamine.” – Kristen (29:43)
3. Why We Fall for the Pattern (19:19 – 26:50)
- Wired for intensity, not intentionality: Modern culture and marketing sell the “go big or go home” narrative.
- Instant gratification culture: Our inability to tolerate the mundane and our craving for speed undermine true transformation.
- Mistaking adrenaline for progress: Many confuse excitement and busyness with real commitment and productive action.
- Chaos as comfort: Those used to chaotic environments struggle with calm and consistency.
“We also tend to mistake progress with, like, adrenaline. If we don’t feel like our body is vibrating with excitement, we don’t know how to work without that.” – Kristen (22:30)
4. Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn—and Goal Pursuit (47:01 – 52:44)
- How different stress response types manifest hope hustler behaviors:
- Fight: Over-commit and burn out.
- Flight: Avoid discomfort, seek novelty.
- Freeze: Overthink and never implement.
- Fawn: Prioritize others’ expectations over one’s own goals.
- Not merely a mindset issue—a regulation issue: Nervous system dysregulation sabotages consistency once novelty fades.
5. The Cost of Hope Hustling (53:06 – 58:27)
- Erodes self-trust: Chronic stopping and starting builds an identity of failure.
- Confuses busyness with real progress.
- Emotional exhaustion: Repeated false starts drain emotional energy and foster shame.
- Chronic shame and resignation: Eventually, goals feel unattainable—“Why bother?” mentality develops.
- Stuck in fantasy: Chasing the illusion of change, never achieving sustained transformation.
“You burn through a lot of emotional energy on your false starts… You live in chronic shame. Every restart becomes proof that you suck, that you’re not good. It’s proof of failure.” – Kristen (56:25)
6. Breaking the Cycle: Practical Steps (59:01 – 65:46)
- Increase tolerance for boredom: Practice mundane activities; reclaim attention span.
- Shrink your plan: Start smaller than you feel necessary to build self-trust.
- Stop searching for silver bullets: Tools and strategies support, but don’t replace, the hard work of implementation.
- Embrace the messy middle: Intangible changes occur before tangible results.
- Redefine success: Focus on continuity and incremental progress, not speed or intensity.
- Regulation over motivation: Learn to calm the nervous system; develop emotional resilience for discomfort.
“When you become somebody who intentionally does hard things, you become somebody who can better handle hard things when they unintentionally happen.” – Kristen (66:01)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
On the Universal Pull Toward Novelty
“Nothing feels better than buying a cute workout outfit to get started… The setting up of the thing we want to pursue—I think we get a dopamine rush in the planning, the preparing, the getting ready to get ready.”
– Kristen (06:27)
On False Narratives About Motivation
“I don’t think desire has anything to do with this… It’s not that you don’t want the result, it’s because you don’t like the process because the process feels slow, uncomfortable, and way less exciting once the novelty wears off.”
– Kristen (08:35)
On the Importance of Process
“Hope hustlers, they’re not addicted to the change. They’re addicted to the feeling of possibility.”
– Kristen (29:25)
On Redefining Success
“You have to redefine success as this idea of… continuity. It’s not a sprint, it’s not intensity. You have to redefine how you pursue transformation; it is not an overnight process.”
– Kristen (64:20)
On Living in Fantasy Versus Growth
“It’s kind of like chasing the illusion of momentum, but never actually achieving real momentum in your life.”
– Kristen (57:50)
On Tools vs. Magic Bullets
“The planner—very rarely is the tool the problem. It’s the person implementing the tool or not implementing the tool.”
– Kristen (31:05)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 04:58 – Defining the Hope Hustler
- 08:35 – Why desire isn’t enough; the hard truth about process
- 19:19 – The dopamine cycle and instant gratification
- 26:52 – The Hope Hustler Cycle Explained
- 29:25 – Being addicted to possibility, not transformation
- 47:01 – Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn—how each sabotages implementation
- 53:06 – The erosion of self-trust and other hidden costs
- 59:01 – Practical advice: breaking out of the ‘hope hustle’
- 66:01 – Importance of intentional difficulty for resilience
Actionable Takeaways
- Examine if you’re chasing the feeling of change rather than committing to the process.
- Cultivate tolerance for boredom and the mundane as part of meaningful growth.
- Shrink goals to build up small, consistent wins and rebuild self-trust.
- Acknowledge your stress response style (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) to spot your sabotage tendencies.
- Remember: Lasting transformation is boring, slow, and uncomfortable—but the reward is lasting self-alignment.
Kristen ends with an invitation to disrupt the cycle of addiction to hope and novelty, urging listeners to pursue depth, alignment, and real transformation over fleeting surges of motivation.
“Stop chasing the fast and easy. Choose slow and sustainable… Find fast and easy somewhere else. But don’t find it in the most meaningful things in your life.” – Kristen (68:07)
Share this episode or join Kristen’s next Success Rewire challenge for more practical support on authentic, sustainable change.